In several places you imply that bankers or corporate lawyers don't love their jobs. (Example, "How many corporate lawyers would do their current work if they had to do it for free, in their spare time, and take day jobs as waiters to support themselves.")
My father, a surgeon who loves his work ,once warned me that when I went to college I would have to take boring courses in history and literature. He was forgetting that to me the humanities make like worth living.
Jobs that sound like my idea of hell might breathe life into someone else's soul. Thank goodness we each have different skills and passions.
Laura
· 1 year ago
I couldn't agree more. Being a math teacher or having to do math sounds like some sadist's version of hell, whereas being an English teacher would be very enjoyable!
Dan Conine
· 2 years ago
This is all great stuff. Thanks. However, the Black Swan comes into play, also: What if the world that everyone is preparing to do work in isn't the world we will have in the future? What if the disaster mongers are right? Also, the bottom line of our unhappiness is probably the competitive lifestyle. We have separated ourselves from Nature through oil and other technologies, and the one thing that makes us happy with what we do is to feel connected to it. We have been teaching our children to follow the urban/factory model and compete with each other as some pristine Creation, separate from nature, while the natural world we depend upon for proper nutrition and which we should be cooperating to improve is decaying. What if the foods we are eating are making our kids stupid and lazy? How will they ever know?
Clyde Williams
· 2 years ago
I must cry foul on your choice of the English department as bugbear: "in the departments at the other end of the spectrum, the availability of teaching jobs is the driver... no one does that kind of thing [write criticism] for fun." First, a brief glance at the Chronicle of Higher Education would have revealed that there are abysmally few university English jobs, full time & tenure track. And I am sure you could find many people who love literary criticism and would practice it for enjoyment-- as it has been for some time-- who would do not share your affection for math. Many more, probably. So please get your blinders off. I was with you until this point, but now I'm too mad to read the rest of your self-satisfied essay.
shadow
· 2 years ago
the thing with the whole, "doing what you love", really is hogwash. Parameters are set in the minds of most people. For instance, I always had a very, very high ambition. If I did what I loved to do, which is, exercise and party then I suffer from the third element which is money.I love to exercise but I dont like to teach. Top celebrity trainers only make $1000 a day at most. I love to party but I wouldn't, want to profit off the misery of others. We all know clubs make money from liquor sales. I am back to square one. Being filthy rich is in the equation for me at least. I mean being waited on with 24hour, maid, messeuse, on site psychologist, personal trainer, chef, etc...For others, doing what they love may work. For me, selling high priced items, or running an operation that allows me to be away from day to day task and allow me the freedom to do what I love is a better move for me.
anonymous
· 2 years ago
Kids today, don't believe they can be whatever they want to be. They are not the kids of old, when you truly could be and do what you dreamed because it's not being instilled in them. Life is a job for them and in this era, for us too. However, I do agree with the statement that doing someting one likes is rewarding and does allow for happiness no matter what the pay may be. I don't believe people love to work, they may enjoy it, not love.
Jan
· 2 years ago
I find that I really need some kind of structure in my life. I've had the chance not to work, but it was difficult to keep coming up with things for myself to do. Then, I would start getting up later and later, sleeping more and more. Do you have a hard time finding things to do when you're not working? What do you do to self motivate?
Anonymous
· 2 years ago
I appreciate the optimism of this essay, but for some of us, there is no such thing as work that we love. People who write essays like this appear to imagine that others are like themselves in having some unfulfilled passion. Believe it or not, there are those of us who just "like" stuff. We have decent jobs and outside pursuits that we enjoy. The implication that for everyone there must be some intertwined "lovejob" that will bring happiness seems to me a bit smug and utopian.
Susanna Shakespeare
· 2 years ago
What a wonderful point--and so well put. In some traditions, the ability to "just 'like' stuff" is considered to be a form of enlightenment--partly because of its ordinary everydayness. Sorry if this sounds like too optimistic and utopian a take on your comment. --Signed, Yet Another Anonymous Commenter
Steve
· 2 years ago
And there's nothing wrong with that! But I'd be willing to guess that, overall, you like what you do. Like everyone else, there are good days and sh***y days. But overall it's pretty good.
Pradeep Kumar
· 2 years ago
Hello Mr.Graham, I am unable to understand the following line in this essay. "This is isomorphic to the principle that you should prevent your beliefs about how things are from being contaminated by how you wish they were". How is that related to religion as you mention here? "The continuing popularity of religion is the most visible index of that"
Could you please explain it more? Thank you very much for your article.
Anonymous
· 2 years ago
I'm not Mr. Graham, but I can attempt to reply to your question as a fellow reader. I think he was saying that religion is an example of one way we confuse what we wish the world was like with what we actually know about the world. For instance a belief in God or even a belief that our fellow church-goers wish us nothing but love and joy, isn't based on what we know is true, rather it is based on a desire for that to be true. I don't know if that made any more sense than what he wrote.. It's like we want to believe something so badly that we either consciously or subconsciously just decide to believe it even if we really don't have any good reason to believe it is true. Religion is one way we take what we want to be true, apply "faith", and...presto...we believe!
In terms of the job search, I think he is saying that we should know both a) what we want/love to do and b) what it seems possible to do. We should know both those things (or attempt to know them), but we shouldn't let them become mixed in our minds. For example, just because we love to play piano, that doesn't mean we will start getting paid to play piano tomorrow because there are real-world obstacles to tackle. However, we shouldn't lose touch with the dream to play piano for money and we also shouldn't lose touch with the reality of the obstacles we may face. Only holding both in our minds, simultaneously, yet seperately, will allow us to take appropriate action.
Meaghan C
· 2 years ago
Wow----thank you. "Always produce" is a great motto. I appreciate the insight.
Emma
· 1 year ago
I like the attempt of an explanation on behalf of Mr Graham, but I am not convinced that was his intended meaning. This article is glorious (even if Mr Graham has some flaws in his perceptions and understandings concerning religion- we all have our flaws) I'm going to read the essay over- it makes my soul ring- just as my knowledge of spiritual things does- I would even say this article is greatly spiritual, an honest confrontation of the pressures each one of us must somewhat choose on how we deal with. Its an opportunity for us to learn about ourselves, whats important and how we go on the journey. I took a different path, and have been frowned upon by many of my peers- lived in a caravan... worked in simple jobs that I enjoyed, traveled any opportunity. As soon as I heard at Design School that unexplained gaps in my cv could be detrimental to my career, I decided that a 'career' was not for me. I am a person not a robot, and sometimes my priority isn't keeping the world up to speed on the latest design but on my family and my friends, there are other things that need our attention more urgently times than the 'next trend'.. but living on this edge does take nerve, and faith. Your time can be just as valuable than the money you earn in it.
We must teach self preservation and confidence and pass to the new generations the good things that we learn that they might be happy and not feel it is right that they stay discontent in what we call 'work'
Anonymous
· 2 years ago
I have to say thank you so much for writing this! There are times at my profession that i do enjoy what i do and then there are times that i absolutely cant stand it. I put more pressure to do what i can not stand when and i wouldnt bother to do that if really deep down inside i didnt bother to care. Thank You!
Tony
· 2 years ago
About the 60th time I've read this essay because no matter how straight I get my perspective, eventually I find myself viewing life and making decisions using the old way of thinking. Eventually this will sink in and stay. :)
Vijay
· 2 years ago
Great one :)
This is the second time I'm reading this. I read this an year ago and liked it. Now I am in a career crossroad and wanted to go through this one again, to avoid falling into any of the traps. "Always produce" is a great axiom.
Thank you very much for the practical and detailed article :) :)
sherry
· 2 years ago
this article saved me from wanting to jump off the building. I ve been wanting to drop out on what i am doing at school right now but couldnt convince myself or my parents if its worth it. i have made the decision to drop out after reading this(i googled lol) because i I figured out 'this is not what I like, its what I'd like to like.' thank you, thank you, thank you.
Humberto Hernandez
· 2 years ago
But, do not miss the other part. What are you going to do? Just make sure that whatever you do, you are always producing. Otherwise, you will be waisting your time.
lswp
· 2 years ago
Thank you so much for giving me the excuse for being an unhappy, unfulllfilled working looser that hates my job. However much I like this article I still can't seem to get out of my rut and discover what I like to do and do it. This was a great article, so am I to assume I'm just stupid?
charlotte
· 2 years ago
For years i have searched for words to describe my personal frustration about work and deciding what you want to do in life and all the associated pressures.
This essay was an absolute gold mine for the struggling, lost and misguided 23 year old. Thank you so much. Your articulation of this frustrating condition was very releiving for my personal anxieties.
Melanie
· 2 years ago
I liked the following paragraph alot. It stuck out the most to me. I've worried too much about what people have thought of me; yet, tended to talk to whoever was near me. Your advice made things clearer. You pointed out to me how much I relied on people I don't know. I need to more grateful of my friends. Thank you!
Melanie
"What you should not do, I think, is worry about the opinion of anyone beyond your friends. You shouldn't worry about prestige. Prestige is the opinion of the rest of the world. When you can ask the opinions of people whose judgement you respect, what does it add to consider the opinions of people you don't even know."
Sara
· 2 years ago
Thank you for this article. I agree with your advice not to decide too young what you want. The 'work I love' came to me through an odd twist in college and its appeal grew until I couldn't conceive not doing it.
With my education leaning in other directions I went the 'two job' route; working a 'day job' for income/insurance and working into the night (and early mornings), honing my skills and taking on every task as an exciting challenge (because the pay rate vs. hours usually averaged out to less than minimum wage).
I caught a lucky break a while ago and now I'm doing what I love full time. I don't consider it just a 'day job' and I'm eager to address my work each day-even the frustrations have a 'good' tone to them. It's a truly wonderful position to be in.
George
· 2 years ago
All I can say is.. WOW! I wish that I had read this about 5 years ago before dropping out of school, bouncing from job to job, finishing school, working at a job I hated, then working the two job route and finally doing what I love full time. This article will be forwarded to everyone I know struggling to get out of the cubicle. Thanks!
billy
· 2 years ago
This is a great piece, me and all my friends recently started working in the real world a few months after graduating college and none of us are happy. you said something like working is not work if you enjoy what you are doing. that is the truth. It is just finding a way to make money doing something you love and not giving into the pressure from "loved" ones
tim
· 2 years ago
that was great a eye opener for me just what i really needed to drive myself forward
Dndoon
· 2 years ago
its good to know what you want to do but also there is life if you can afford it by doing what you love to do that will be perfect... there is many pargraphs i agree with and some not in this article but overall the division of the routs its practical: organic and two job work since by doing only what we like to do only will not support a good life quality for us and for who we love and also its selfish to do what we love and let the others suffering by not affording them what we should overall its a good analysing of it and good job !!!
some guy
· 2 years ago
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ENCORE!! ENCORE!!!
TINA
· 1 year ago
AAHAAAA.................! IT'S AMAZING
Dan Hoying
· 2 years ago
This essay and the one about why nerds are unpopular crystalized a lot of pent up frustrations and discontent I experienced during high school and the recent start of college. I guess it'll get worse before it gets better. Thanks for the encouraging words.
Kimi
· 1 year ago
Man, this is wonderfull article!.. I knew many of these things for quite some time, yet I never found someone who'd agree / share the same point of view with me...
I was continuously being discouraged from going for my dreams, by all the people I know, and I guess my fear grew bigger than my faith as the time went on, that I gave up at last. I was always told that I should not do what I like. But I should learn to like what I'm told to do instead. In the end, I got job I don't like, I see the time passing by, my days spent in vain and life so shallow, I didn't even knew why I was doing what I was doing.. and even if I found a reason, there'd be no joy in it.
And I'm really happy to read your words, for it is like a spark out of nowhere, lightning up the fire within my soul again. Thank you for helping me to bring my faith back!!!!!! Thank You so much! I shall 'member your words forever, so that noone will ever have a chance of breaking me :-)
PhantomBPR
· 1 year ago
Hello there, I am a 16 year old high school student and I came across this essay after doing a google search on the phrase "i don't know what I want to do for a living", it was the first link that appeared.
You make very good points and you offer great advice, this is by far, a fresh answer for a question I've been asking for the last 5 years of my life, most of the time it's answered with something along the lines of "just worry about passing school".
Though I still have no idea on what sort of work I'd like to do, your essay has opened my mind to new perspectives and has alerted me to several mistakes people like myself make.
In short, very nice job, it was informative and enjoyable.
Thena
· 1 year ago
Heck, I'm a 34-year-old college graduate and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. Have resigned myself, more or less, to not ever growing up, making art in my basement in the summer, textile craft in my upstairs in the winter (because it's warmer) and thinking of going back to school to get training for a better-paying and more interesting class of day job.
Wish I'd had this to read in high school - and also wish I'd had something to read about how the heck to make a living. That right there has been way more work for way less reward than I was originally led to believe...
Stephanie
· 1 year ago
wow! At 16 years of age you are smarter than most 30 year olds!
Tyler
· 1 year ago
excellent......i needed to read this. thank you
William Burrell
· 1 year ago
Hi, great article. I am a 63 year old art professor, about to retire. What you have stated so precisely has finally begun to dawn on me. Ok, I'm a bit slow :-) thanks, bill b.
Emma
· 1 year ago
This is great. It's really helpful to me at 32! Right now, I'm unemployed but I have a knowing that I'll do something great, something I truly enjoy and to be honest I often do things I really enjoy and sometimes I get paid for them and sometimes I volunteer and I probably take too much time off and and procrastinate. I really value your piece about "always produce". From now on, I will do a drawing every day and I will exercise every day. Thank you. You've been a real inspiration.
Jason_B
· 1 year ago
This is a great article. I am 27 and think my main problem is not really having the desire to go all the way with a career path for fear that it might be the wrong one! Throughout college and for 8 years I was a ski instructor and I now have finally "moved on" to do bigger and better things in a city. What's hard for me is not looking back. I keep thinking there is something more for me to do on this earth than teaching rich kids how to have more fun when there are so many others in need! I am at this juncture where I don't need a lot of money to fund my life, and I don't know what I'd study if I went to more school! Part of me wants to try and settle down and start somewhere to work my way up in a company, part of me wants to become a teacher, and all of me wants to stop bouncing around like a ping-pong ball from interest to interest! Maybe I'm easily discouraged, or am afraid to step out of my comfort zone but every time I start to do something I wanted in the past the reality is never as comforting as the dream. Anyway, thanks for the post I will reference it in the future! Finding what you love to do seems like a never-ending quest :( :)
Josh
· 1 year ago
You did it, thanks for confirming what i've always believed. I've watched my father work hard to pay bills in a job he rarely enjoys, i promised myslef i'd do something i love and i LOVE GEOGRAPHY, everyone at school draws upon the fact of prestige and capital, 'how are ya gonna make money?'. You have verified the key message here in life... "not everyone can do work they love" that's all too true, however. One has to make a living, and it's hard to get paid for doing work you love". I think if you're going to do a job for life you may as well love it, if you want to leave a mark like i do, then you need to be the be the best and to be the best you need to love what you do, i think i may have this quote put on a plaque :) ... "The definition of work was now to make some original contribution to the world, and in the process not to starve". Thankyou for doing some original thinking and even more importantly for sharing it :D
Fotis F
· 1 year ago
Hello and thank you for this succinct essay that helped me. I recently realised that 'my' choice of work twenty years ago was a big mistake. I was 12 or thereabouts and went for professional security.
I am Greek and I translate professionally from English. I suspect there would be Greek-speaking internet users who might benefit from a Greek translation. Would you like me to do it for you for free? It'd be a way to give back to you. You've got my email.
Teresa
· 1 year ago
Wow I read the whole thing, AWESOME! Clear as a bell. I am about to go back to school, and I have never been so frustrated in my life. I had an easier time deciding to have kids. What the hell am I gonna do for the rest if my working life? Great article, time to do a little soul searching. Thanks
Teresa
· 1 year ago
Hey would it be ok if I copied and pasted this article into my blog, and linked it to this page. I think I know a few people who could stand to read this.
David
· 1 year ago
Hello - This is a great article. I really related to it. I just finished a book called "Grooming Secrets For Men" and after reading your article I realize I must drop the "day job" and dive into even more of what I really like - like pushing my book more and doing more writing. Thanks!
Stephanie
· 1 year ago
This article is awesome! Thank you so much for writing this, I am going to share this with all of my friends and family. My boyfriend of 4 years just recently got a great job working as PR/Medi Director for a game developement studio. He loves video games and now he will be working with the top video game producers on a daily basis. I am very happy for him although he will be moving 3000 miles away to pursue this opportunity; anyhow, it suddenly dawned on me that he was the first and only person that I know that is actually doing what they love. And it made me question where I was heading in my life. My boyfriend never went to college, and now he is a top executive in a company, not to mention no prior work experience in this area, but what he has always had is a passion for great games; I can remember him staying up until 4am in the morning writing articles for free, for a popular game website; all of this just because he loved it so much (And these articles are what eventually lead to his employment with this game studio). Anyhow, this article has really made me feel a lot better about my current position. I think I am heading on the right path now.
Amii
· 1 year ago
Hey, Great article! Thanks for your effort in putting this together and then placing it out there for people to read! :)
Marinus
· 1 year ago
I think the best article I red in years. I am 26 and taking the two-job rout for 2.5 years now. Its just thay way you describe it. I see so many people doning work only to pay bills, but don't enjoy it. I know that creativity is a tool we all got, but sadly most of us lose it or hide it, because of the way the world set the rules. And sadly we belive those rules. I want to encouradge young people to work on their cretivity and experience and new world with posibilities for themselves. Marinus
Guest
· 1 year ago
hey there, thank you so much for taking the time to write this article! I think you did a great job at pin pointing a lot of the struggles many of us fight when it comes to deciding what we want to do in life. I'm graduating from high school this year and so one of the biggest challenges for me has been trying to figure out where to go next. It's been really overwhelming for me, because all of a sudden i'm just supposed to know what I want to do for the rest of my life. anyhow thanx, your article helped clear up some thoughts going around in my mind and make me feel a little better about things.
Ari
· 1 year ago
great topic discussion and great feedback...nice to feel like it's ok to do what you love, cause either way you look at it, life is short so why waste your time lying to yourself and living unhappily if you can drop all the perspectives society has built for us to go with something secure in a job, why not pursue something that's secure in your heart?
jdm ek9
· 1 year ago
interesting topic. yes indeed . :]
Mayne
· 1 year ago
this is so cool....=] yea... but it's too long.. my eyes are hella burning.. but at least it worthy....
All Comments
My father, a surgeon who loves his work ,once warned me that when I went to college I would have to take boring courses in history and literature. He was forgetting that to me the humanities make like worth living.
Jobs that sound like my idea of hell might breathe life into someone else's soul. Thank goodness we each have different skills and passions.
What if the disaster mongers are right?
Also, the bottom line of our unhappiness is probably the competitive lifestyle. We have separated ourselves from Nature through oil and other technologies, and the one thing that makes us happy with what we do is to feel connected to it. We have been teaching our children to follow the urban/factory model and compete with each other as some pristine Creation, separate from nature, while the natural world we depend upon for proper nutrition and which we should be cooperating to improve is decaying.
What if the foods we are eating are making our kids stupid and lazy? How will they ever know?
I am unable to understand the following line in this essay.
"This is isomorphic to the principle that you should prevent your beliefs about how things are from being contaminated by how you wish they were".
How is that related to religion as you mention here?
"The continuing popularity of religion is the most visible index of that"
Could you please explain it more?
Thank you very much for your article.
In terms of the job search, I think he is saying that we should know both a) what we want/love to do and b) what it seems possible to do. We should know both those things (or attempt to know them), but we shouldn't let them become mixed in our minds. For example, just because we love to play piano, that doesn't mean we will start getting paid to play piano tomorrow because there are real-world obstacles to tackle. However, we shouldn't lose touch with the dream to play piano for money and we also shouldn't lose touch with the reality of the obstacles we may face. Only holding both in our minds, simultaneously, yet seperately, will allow us to take appropriate action.
We must teach self preservation and confidence and pass to the new generations the good things that we learn that they might be happy and not feel it is right that they stay discontent in what we call 'work'
This is the second time I'm reading this. I read this an year ago and liked it. Now I am in a career crossroad and wanted to go through this one again, to avoid falling into any of the traps. "Always produce" is a great axiom.
Thank you very much for the practical and detailed article :) :)
thank you, thank you, thank you.
This essay was an absolute gold mine for the struggling, lost and misguided 23 year old. Thank you so much. Your articulation of this frustrating condition was very releiving for my personal anxieties.
Melanie
"What you should not do, I think, is worry about the opinion of anyone beyond your friends. You shouldn't worry about prestige. Prestige is the opinion of the rest of the world. When you can ask the opinions of people whose judgement you respect, what does it add to consider the opinions of people you don't even know."
With my education leaning in other directions I went the 'two job' route; working a 'day job' for income/insurance and working into the night (and early mornings), honing my skills and taking on every task as an exciting challenge (because the pay rate vs. hours usually averaged out to less than minimum wage).
I caught a lucky break a while ago and now I'm doing what I love full time. I don't consider it just a 'day job' and I'm eager to address my work each day-even the frustrations have a 'good' tone to them. It's a truly wonderful position to be in.
there is many pargraphs i agree with and some not in this article but overall the division of the routs its practical: organic and two job work since by doing only what we like to do only will not support a good life quality for us and for who we love and also its selfish to do what we love and let the others suffering by not affording them what we should
overall its a good analysing of it and good job !!!
I was continuously being discouraged from going for my dreams, by all the people I know, and I guess my fear grew bigger than my faith as the time went on, that I gave up at last. I was always told that I should not do what I like. But I should learn to like what I'm told to do instead. In the end, I got job I don't like, I see the time passing by, my days spent in vain and life so shallow, I didn't even knew why I was doing what I was doing.. and even if I found a reason, there'd be no joy in it.
And I'm really happy to read your words, for it is like a spark out of nowhere, lightning up the fire within my soul again. Thank you for helping me to bring my faith back!!!!!! Thank You so much! I shall 'member your words forever, so that noone will ever have a chance of breaking me :-)
You make very good points and you offer great advice, this is by far, a fresh answer for a question I've been asking for the last 5 years of my life, most of the time it's answered with something along the lines of "just worry about passing school".
Though I still have no idea on what sort of work I'd like to do, your essay has opened my mind to new perspectives and has alerted me to several mistakes people like myself make.
In short, very nice job, it was informative and enjoyable.
Wish I'd had this to read in high school - and also wish I'd had something to read about how the heck to make a living. That right there has been way more work for way less reward than I was originally led to believe...
I am at this juncture where I don't need a lot of money to fund my life, and I don't know what I'd study if I went to more school! Part of me wants to try and settle down and start somewhere to work my way up in a company, part of me wants to become a teacher, and all of me wants to stop bouncing around like a ping-pong ball from interest to interest! Maybe I'm easily discouraged, or am afraid to step out of my comfort zone but every time I start to do something I wanted in the past the reality is never as comforting as the dream.
Anyway, thanks for the post I will reference it in the future! Finding what you love to do seems like a never-ending quest :( :)
I think if you're going to do a job for life you may as well love it, if you want to leave a mark like i do, then you need to be the be the best and to be the best you need to love what you do, i think i may have this quote put on a plaque :) ...
"The definition of work was now to make some original contribution to the world, and in the process not to starve". Thankyou for doing some original thinking and even more importantly for sharing it :D
I am Greek and I translate professionally from English. I suspect there would be Greek-speaking internet users who might benefit from a Greek translation. Would you like me to do it for you for free? It'd be a way to give back to you. You've got my email.
anyhow thanx, your article helped clear up some thoughts going around in my mind and make me feel a little better about things.