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Popular Threads
I look at these American films where everyone is obsessed with prom and I think to myself.. the media and film industry is brainwashing these children. If they weren't constantly showed these materials they probably wouldn't have this obsession.
My advice - move to Europe.
having been a nerd for all my school time I've seen everything you described here but I could never explain the why. Meanwhile I've learned a lot about social psychology and educational science but I've never managed to meet someone who could rationalize to me the phenomenon of nerds in such a complete way you did in this essay. Thank you so much! I really adore you for it. Please allow me to quote extracts from it on any ocasion!
Lots of Love, Miriam from Germany
P.S. Be reassured that nerds are not only an american phenomenon. They exist in Europe too.
smarter they 1st wanna kill you(if the right given) 2nd they wanna get read of you 3rdif they cant do the above mentioned and you continue to read they're thoughts they evade you or talk shit behind your back
don't want to be your friend for sure.
Success of any organizational structure relies on three pillars: 1) adequate resources; 2) strong, responsible leadership; 3) worthwhile goals.
In the absence of these three pillars, things start to degenerate quickly.
The only thing to do is be bored, and wait it out. Another 3 years, it will drive me crazy. Anyway thats my inside opinion.
On a more positive note you would think succesfull adults (who were once nerds)would atempt to change the system. I live in England and all i ever hear from them is "Try your best, don't do drugs... E.T.C". None of it means anything.
From an economic point of view it would be a great advantage to ensure that supernerds get the best and quickest education possible, then throw them into the real world to exel at what they do. As for the dumber ones they would get almost no education and spend the rest of their lives doing the manual jobs that are currently reserved for teenagers. They could form a perfect society where everyone has his/her place.
Now, concerning education. Popularity ranks pretty low with the ability to make a positive impact in the lives of others. Granted there is the ability to get people's attention, exercise compassion, and provide some positive contribution. However, the more intelligence you and I can acquire, the greater impact we can have in the lives of others. A doctor can treat cancer. A lawyer can help people who have been wronged or injured. A scientist can create antibiotics. Popularity at the highest levels cannot do any of those things. People who make a positive difference will never be lonely, in my opinion. In my opinion, there are those who have passed on and still want to make a positive difference in our lives and are willing to be our silent, invisible, tutors in our education and career in making a positive impact in the lives of others. Close your eyes when you get frustrated with school and work and see if the words "Do it for others" don't come to mind and inspire you to sit back down and resume your work at a new level and possibly with a clear understanding of what you just struggled with moments ago. THAT is an incredible experience. That is one that will never be unfaithful, dramatic, etc. It is one that will always be positive. One from an intelligence that has a much larger picture of life and the world we live in and can best lead you to whatever positive desires you have, even if it is popularity. The only question you might be presented with is "What will you do with it? Will you use it for to make a positive impact?"
is going to be a freshman in high school pretty soon. All I really want is a
guy best friend that I can relate with, someone real...not some sports-
oriented group that just cares about girls, getting laid, or ostracizing nerds
who aren't like them. How do I get that?
The reason is, I think there's this person that has the potential to be a great
friend of mine. But he has his own basketball/baseball crew, and I keep
reminding myself I am not like him. Yet, I want to be around him. If you knew
how much I wanted to be like a teenager right now, you would get it.
How the hell do I beat the system? That's what I want to know. What is the
single thing that will get you a bulls-eye, true relationship?
But let’s say he isn’t interested in you, even if you take an interest in his basketball. I want you to then remember ice cream. Hehe. What I mean is I like ice cream with a bit of vanilla, chocolate swirl, chocolate covered peanuts, and peanut butter. I know guys who prefer Rocky Road, Mint Chocolate Chip, Oreo, Pralines n’ Cream, etc. Baskin and Robbins alone has 31 flavors! Now, have you ever ordered your favorite ice cream and looked at a friend’s and said “Hmm, that looks good, can I try it?” You then try it say “Wow! That is good. I wish I had gotten that one :(.”
Here is the first point. Every guy out there (and girl, for the guys) is like an ice cream flavor. You see what’s in the case, but until you have experienced as many flavors as possible, you have no idea which is your favorite! All you can do is guess and make assumptions. So, my first recommendation is to not set your heart on a single guy until you have dated numerous types of guys.
Second point, you are a flavor too and guys have no idea what they want either. They can look in the case and make a best guess, but until they have tried numerous flavors they have no idea which is their favorite. For guys, we have an additional complication. Our biological clock says “It’s time to reproduce, even if accidentally.” That really messes up our thinking skills, but the level of intensity varies from guy to guy.
Realize too that if you have to act or dress in a different manner to get a guy, it is not worth it. To get a “real” relationship and/or friendship, you have to be you 100% from the very beginning. How long will that take? It wasn't until I was 23 and wow did I have an incredible marriage! Every other girlfriend before that, from age 12, was just a source of good times, followed by anxiety , followed by heartache, since I always wanted to go steady and not have open dating relationships. The lack of open dating was also the cause of my divorce. I had no idea what other flavors were out there and wondered if I had made the best choice. Now, 10 years later, I am saddened that to this day, I have yet to find another woman of her caliber who loves me in return like she did. I hope this all helps.
people (actually a lot), but now I feel that there's more out there
for me. In regards to ice cream, you are right! Why should I
stick around for vanilla and strawberry when New York Super
Fudge Chunk could be around the corner? Lol.
I also think that--when I get old enough, I haven't started dating
yet--I'll have open dating. I should experience it all, not set
my sight on one prospective person.
Thanks a lot, again.
I am from Australia and currently in Year 10, and in my school it seems that the most popular people are infact smart people. Maybe they use their intelligence to realise what it takes to become popular, or maybe they are just multi talented and naturally popular (yes, naturally popular, it is possible).
Thanks for the great essay.
-This essay was great. I'd love to read more of your work!!
A good google search, to be sure.
-Qes
Jonathan Yedidia
http://nerdwisdom.com (as you can see, I'm proud to be a nerd!)
wait! I got something.....um..........STOP RAMBLING ON!
that felt good..................
Much more to say on the matter so keep your eyes peeled.
If I had my time at school again, I'd be a nerd again. Teenage girls are immensely boring.
And "will have lots of free time to read and write" ?? You act as if reading is something to kill time with, instead of something with which to increase the scope of your world. If you were a nerd, you couldn't have been a very smart one.
It is tribalism but intelligence is not the defining variable. I have know very smart populars and some very dumb nerds. The arrogance of the nerd tribe to assume that it's about smarts is one of the reasons why they get disdain even in the adult world, just behind their backs after they trouble shoot the office mainframe instead of to their face. It comforts them by thinking it's envy of their brains and that illusion gets them through the day. Nerds just have very specific attributes that give them high reward for low effort in specialized fields. They do not have many social skills because they do not require them. The survival fire is not under their buts enough to motivate them into the effort of it. Technology has created a niche they can be very comfortably successful in.
School is a primitive emulation of the adult social politics. It gets more subtle and refined as we get older but it never goes away. Every one chooses whether they realize it or not that they take the path of most reward for least effort optimizing their talents and skills. They go where the results are. In the wheat from chaff process over the long term many nerds get left by the wayside as much as dumb jocks, empty beauties and shallow populars do.
And it is a given that the nerd tribe breaks down into sub groups with their own status ranks.
School is a 'limited" emulation of adult social politics. In this Paul is exactly right. In the real world the A through D tables are so large you can choose to almost exclusively associate with the type of people you prefered in school. When you feel uncomfortable as an adult it is because you have been forced to deal with people you did not like in school.
I feel really bad for you actually.
Im a sophmore in high school.
And i make fun of all the nerds at our school all the time.
But i don't care because im not one of them.
It's fun, because being the so called "nerd" and being small, also makes me immune to almost all punishment. "He started it, I defended myself, why would i try to fight someone twice my size?" and I'm off. Small people have more fighting experiences then you could ever image, not to mention the speed to back it up, and maybe not pure muscle compared to you, but in comparison to body size, they most likely have more then you.
p.s. I think it's pretty funny reading all these high school kid's comments like, "I'm popular AND smart in my high school so your essay is wrong and I don't agree with it." It's not really about your or his experience through school, there's much much more to it than that.
You could be smart and attractive/popular, however, that is one of the hardest roles to play and manage in highschool, because you want to maintain a balance without messing up anything on either side, unfortunately, at this point, popularity is more important for most people, although smart people won't be shunned, nerds/socially awkward people will be out of the circle.
One thing I think is the hardest for smart people is that they realize the system. They see through it when other people can't, they know thing other people can't relate to and that makes it all the more depressing when you realize you're among the few who's in the know about how pointless school is at times but you can't beat the system. Especially the social pressure which before you and everyone else was numb to but then you see how pointless and consuming it is and yet no one ever questions it.
It's just a big, fake circle with no sense of reality, and I feel I'm just walking in an infinite loop until I graduate, the good thing is seeing kids who you know if they stick it out for a few more years, the roles will be dramatically reversed.
They always tell us that the real world is alot more harsher, scarier and worse than school. I don't think so.
I am facing many problems,because of my Asian descent and the distinctive way of dressing and walking.
Thanks for the information. Knowing this from somebody who's been through that to the real world, I can walk through the school social scenes with confidence that it won't affect me in the real world, although I've always known that, sort of consciously.
You keep saying that such barbaric situations are "back then" - but it's still like that, and I doubt it'll change any time soon.
Just as a ray of hope, there are private schools that are not as empty, and provide structure and growth for the students enrolled there. If we could simply model public schools on successful private schools, we would be well on the way to remedying the situation you have so ably described.
Overall I wreckon u can be smart n kool and that its reaally easy.hOPE PEOPLE CAN REPLY TO DIS!
@ mi skool im sorta in da middle but there r still major populartity issues
I'm not sure how I feel about the dismissive tone about popular stuff being "dumb"-- while it wasn't academic in nature, surely, my "quest for popularity" was anything but stupid, I think. I started out as a nerd (but my school was in Canada, which I am learning makes it weird-- there was a provincial instead of local hierarchy, most schools had a 'magnet'-- mine was gifted kids and an auto shop, while down the road was high-performance athletes, and another had art/drama, and another was for kids who struggled with school... you get the idea. They all still had the regular, 'local' kids, but then a huge displaced chunk of kids coming from across the city for one specific thing. But I digress) and worked my way up. I mostly did this by getting really nerdy about 'cool' things-- music, comedy, things like that. I still played plenty of video games, but I was listening to an amazing band that nobody at school would hear of for months. People would occasionally attempt to ostracize me or tease me, but I'd become confident enough that I was able to brush them off like I meant it (having a good zinger comes in very handy for this). Hell, I got a pair of stylish glasses in my junior year and some clothes that didn't look like they were from a department store (in retrospect, they probably WERE from a department store) and ended up dating one of the most sought-after girls at school! Then again, I was lucky in that nerdiness was kind of 'cool' in the early 2000s. I just exploited that fact really, really well.
That kind of leads me into my next point, which is that nerdiness is becoming chic. Yeah, we've heard it a million times, for sure. But I remember my last year of high school as virtually run by former nerds-- there was my friend M, who was the only kid our grade wearing punk shirts to school in grade 9 and was made fun of for his weight throughout, who became incredibly charming and school president in his last year. There was me, who talked about final fantasy and wore sweatpants, but at some point got a clue and turned into the hilarious guy everyone wanted to hang out with on breaks. My friend G was, well, one of my best friends, and he grew about 6 inches one summer and stopped talking funny and started looking pretty good, so he was a shoe-in.
I forget where I was going with this. Oh yeah... my point: there were kids who were nerds and freaks at the beginning of school who became the 'cool' kids by the end of school. It wasn't because they sold out and picked on other people; it was because they realized that the two important aspects of popularity are mass appeal and confidence. Once you realize the first, you recognize that virtually everyone has the potential to have mass appeal-- if you're not sporty, you can be charming, or funny, or badass, or whatever else you can think of. And once you realize what you can exploit, the confidence follows. And if that kind of reasoning isn't nerdy enough for you, I'm not sure I know what nerd even means any more.
Bullying still exists however, its not as bad as people who come from the preceding generation say it is. I'm a Senior this year, and from what I've seen nearly all of my fellow nerds have also seen little to none teasing or bullying. What seems to stay consistent is the very top of the spectrum. Kids who are rich, on the football team, or simply "hot" (as girls put it) continue to rule the school. Nerds, in their eyes, are simply losers.
But also what you wrote confirmed our decision (our kids' decision, mostly) for our home education program. Our kids learn what will promote a good merge into adult culture. My oldest loves to write, so she writes. My oldest boy loves to create and plan and draw, so he creates and plans and draws. Yes, they have the typical academic courses, but as they teach themselves, they motivate themselves. I'm there to faciliate and guide their learning.
They also have the opportunity to join in a more adult world as they volunteer their time in possible work scenarios that may end up being their life's work. My sophomore daughter teaches other homeschooled kids, and she loves it; she may have found her future in education. She also volunteers for our town's newspaper, so journalism may be in her future also. Because of home education, she has the time to pursue her own interests as well as complete solid academic work including the study of Latin, her own choice.
When I taught at the university level, I could see some of the "nerds" coming out of their shells as they accessed a more adult world. Yes, the "popular" people still existed, but there were enough nerds around for them to join together and find their niche in university life. I hope that this phenomenon starts to unravel during the more independent college years, if not during the junior high and high school years themselves. It's just so sad to know that many children suffer needlessly this way. The damage must be immense.
This statement above made me upset, yes they do set out to do it on purpose, I was not the most smartest in school, but I certainly didnt have to work hard to get good grades, my problem was people thought I was weird. I hope one day I can find an article like yours to explain and relieve some stress for being the weird kid. It helped me a little but not a lot, I didnt have the oh so sad life of being in a suburb, most of my life was in the inner city hoods of beautiful california, and the downtown mess. I didnt have a mom that liked to dress her pretty daughter nice, and she was cruel and sick minded, and then came the other adults, then the kids, like I dont remember the kids hurting me that much, because the adults ripped me apart before they ever could. It was mostly the adults in my life that wanted me to have the pain of the nerds you spoke of, and the kids just followed along. My mother hated me, so my brothers did, then my brothers made other kids hate me, and now I see how such behavior could start, you let me know how bullies really think, sadly my biggest bully was my mom.
Thank you for your article, and I'm glad I did a little more healing.
I just googled 'why' because I felt like I wanted to hear an answer to some random question I didn't ask.
This article came up, its awesome!
I'm from Australia, but I can definately relate.
I love how simple, clear and accurate this essay is.
this article is amazing and definetly sums up school life
I'm from ireland and the social system in my school seems very similar to your schools
(by the way I am in 2nd year or 14th grade i think)
Here in Brazil, at least in my school I didn't saw much of this bullying and outcasting, it's weaker here. Bullies are often recognized as plain evil, even to other children. But I think you are right: schools works as a prison, just because kids have no use. And I started reading this article believing this was the only way.
i can see how it got kids attention from around the world.
nice judgements.
I'm currently considering my status as a would be customer service representative and wondering if I'm actually a nerd.
I was a "freak" in high school, always wore black and sure, I had connections with the so called "dorks" in high school as well. I'm currently unemployed and have been for about a year and a half and I'm just about ready to re-enter the workforce so I've been searching for an identity that I can hold on too as I re-enter the "real world".
I'm 25 and living in the suburbs again with my parents and I can tell you, it'a a bit of a nightmare. This place is deserted. TAKE ME BACK TO THE CITY!
Ahhh well, If you're reading this you're probably wondering if I have a point to make.....well, I don't!
HAHA!
Have a nice day.
You constantly feel you have to keep up and image, and as soon as you laugh "too loud", or make a fool of yourself it's seen as scandal.
But I didn't know where else to go, all my friends were in the popular crowd.
Then we were mixed up for subjects such as maths and science, and in top set I met other people as none of the popular crowd was in top set. Of course there were nerds in our class, but there were also...(excuse the word) normal people, interesting people, who made real conversation, instead of meaningless gossip. I loved it, and made some amazing friends.
I suppose now me and my friends would be...about B or B- in the popularity scale.
I could never go back to the popular crowd, because I'm now an outcast from that group. But I'd never want to go back there.
Your article triggered a lot of memories for me :) Thanks for posting it.
Whoa, my comments almost as long as your article so I'll end it on this - When describing popular kids, all you can say is "They're popular". Popular with who? Their friends. Does make everyone popular? No of course not. So why are they described as popular? Because without their popularity they have nothing else.
I'm being very blunt here, but for years I have been observing the way people act, etc. I figured that I might as well share my knowlegde.
If you really think nerds are smarter and the popular cool kids are dumb then your wrong.
I used to be on the Basketball team and now I am on the Track And Field team in my high school and I am in honors.
Many "nerds" are in Honors, but in regular also.
Nerds aren't that smart, plus I rather be on a sports team with a 91+ average and have a nice social life rather than being a nerd. A nerd with a 93+ no athleticism, and almost no extra-curricular activities except for chess team.
Why aren't nerds popular? Cause they aren't that much smarter then the "cool kids", they talk to themselves a lot, start conversations with random people about random stuff... Example:
Me: Hi
Nerd: Oh hi, yeah so I can finally kick my brothers ass in Halo 3..."
Me: Um Okay cool bye.
Okay maybe I started that one but you get the point.
Also even geeks some of 'em have like 98+ AP classes averages and such AND DO SPORTS, they also have a good social life...
Nerds are more of the fat kids who snort when they laugh and such.
The difference is that there's a reason to fit in online. It comes naturally from practice, and online culture makes you smarter. not myspace of course, but in general finding articles like this and arguing about them is useful. You can always leave the game, or be a passive observer. And the society is far from a closed bubble, of course.
So then, why are there people as abusive as Marco? why would those who fail at being acceptable online be in any position to bully? I think it's a habit. good luck picking on the nerds on the Internet, you'll drown in reasoned debate.
by the way kristina, you're as wrong as he is. jocks aren't all stupid, and honors takes dedication. You fit in online quite well, because of your experience and intelligence, and so you bully less intelligent people who are awkward online.
nerds bullying jocks...ain't the Internet great?
I get that "yeah... that sounds right..." feeling.
I guess I just want to say, being yourself and out there is extremelly important. Don't just limit yourself to one friend group, try out different things, don't be scared to fail and you'll make lots of new friends and be invited to many parties and feel loved and popular:-) thanks for reading.
pretty hard and harsh, mind. at football, i was always embarrased at being one of the last ones, but id look real dumb wandering around on the field.
part of it, i found out, is racism...
You write as if you knew me in school. At my 20th reunion, a woman, whom I didn't recognize, walked up to me and said, "I'm so sorry for what we did to you." I'll spare the details of those dark years, as you've outlined them in your essay; all I could add would be the particulars of my situation.
Based on my experiences, I have a lifelong hatred of bullies, utmost respect for folks like John McCain who were POWs, and a strong dislike of planning, utopianism, and ideology. I hope that the homeschooling movement helps to deschool society (to borrow Ivan Illych's phrase), and that the utter failure of our schools, in an era of shrinking budgets, will lead to their collapse, a la the Velvet Revolution that swept away Communism in Eastern Europe. Thank you for the public service you've done by so eloquently identifying the root causes of the problem with American public secondary schools: purposelessness and boredom.
-Lloyd A. Conway
P.S. Parochial schools are different, I think. Where my wife teaches, they do have a mission, the kids learn, and they're a pretty happy lot.
but i'm a straight A student and i'm popular so i don't understand why other smart people can't be popular
Hhhmmm!!!!!!
Now I'm the mac and it has made the past all worth while.
This should be required reading at all high schools. Cant wait to read the rest of the book in between my hacking binges.
I would consider myself slightly 'arty,' and if I had to place myself in a social ranking I would be just above average. I'm odd though, in that I have close friends who are in the Rugby A team (a sure-fire ticket to social stardom) and nerds who spend lunch break looking up upcoming video games on the internet. This has its drawbacks, as in I am invited to parties where I feel very uncomfortable, or drawn into sports conversations I honestly couldn't care less about.
Partly because I am what I like to call a 'secret geek.' I am ashamed to say that I pick on those who are truly unpopular like everyone else, when in my heart I do the same things they do. I just don't tell anyone. I often wish I had someone to debate Buffy the Vampire slayer with, or to write with on a pbp rpg. But I shroud these things in so much secrecy, because they're existance would send me spiralling to the bottom of the social ladder.
Wow, this really mutated from 'i like this essay' to an introspective on my life. It feels good to type this, safe behind my iron curtain of secrecy. Anyway, I really like the article. It's very true.
- J, of Guildford
here is another nerd, who is just finishing school and doesnt know where to go, my aspiration is "the sky is the limit", no wonder why I dont like those people who say "you can become a doctor" for I dont want to become a doctor, there are doctors !!
I may like to talk to anyone of you here ( because anyone has read this page and is reading the comments must be a little geek) so you can find me in Yahoo Answers "hidden" under the nickname of WISE_monkey .
I would really like to chat with you, by the way I am a born christian-arab (dont activate your hearsay system) , but I dont care for all those racism, because i know that we all humans share one thing, for we are VERSION 2 OF MONKEYS.
peace on all
Fortunately, I am one of the few who have a bit of use in society. I got some prints of my artwork into a local art store recently and hope to add more soon! :) (my website shows them)
I was beginning to question the whole system when I found your site! Thank you so much for the advice!
If you are anything like me you will try to analyze what I said to find out which category I am in. well I’m going to ruin you fun and tell you. I’m not in the popular crowd, but Im definitely not a nerd. Luckily I popped out a female and as we all know, the anatomy of a female (no matter what she looks like…ok maybe with a few exceptions) gets a heads up on the scale of any nerd. Aka, a nerdy boy usually looks worse than a nerdy girl. I’m getting off topic… my point being I am not a nerd. Neither did I get good grades. I’m terrible at spelling and grammar and its embarrassing how horrible I am. I guess you could say I’m … a little slow, at everything. I was a ugly little thing in middle school but by the time I reached high school popularity groups had already been established, restricting me to only jump up a few notches never allowing me to reach the most popular peak, (which I didn’t care much about as long as I wasn’t an outcast). I also didn’t care because what really mattered was what the boys thought of me, not the girls. A popular girl could trick herself into thinking I’m not competition because of my social status conducted from previous years before, but males at that age don’t thing with that part of their … brain? I guess you could say.
I’m only telling you all of this because I have no mental challenge at the moment, ( I dropped out of high school because my eating disorder was taking over my life and I’m getting my GED, but I haven’t had a good assignment in much too long) and I was looking for some mental stimulation. So thanks for writing your thesis, so I could critique it.
p.s. I'm still a nerd at heart. I'm in one of the best engineering programs in [my] country.
Once you get into the 7th grade the system becomes so screwed up that you stop learning entirely. Like in math, you waste your time with review of everything you ever learned about math half of the semester, and when they finally start teaching something new the repeat it so much that you don't make any progress. My guess as to why this happens is that they are trying to include people who "learn by repetition" instead of working with each student individually.
As well as that the nerds who get bad grades realize that the adults are trying to prevent this I've seen posters put up in classrooms that say things like "Question: When will I ever use this? Answer: You can never use what you've never learned." These are put up to counter the few sparks of brilliance the even the most dim witted people have, even if it doesn't answer the question. In fact it seems to me that it proves nothing. We know we cannot use it if we don't know how to, but if there is no where you are going to use it, than why bother learning it, but if you mention this obvious fact you're told you have an additude, or ironically that you are being smart.
Second: Whssaaaooo, a very interesting piece.
Looking forward to your Hard Cover!
I would like to mention that as you have it stated, "Nerd" is not interchangeable with smart, and as a result you leave out the fact that there can be many intelligent people who still are completely social. This results in a massive hole in the thesis. Nerds, people who are smart and not socially adept, are unpopular. Wouldn't you also agree that people who are not socially adept are unpopular as well (That is to say the theoretical loner who has no friends. Even if people secretly think he's cool, as some girls think nerds are cool, he still has very little social contact, and is generally unpopular, because popularity must be recognized to be measured.) Thus what you really should be saying is socially inadept people are inadept socially! Popularity is a direct measure of your social ability around a group of people, and thus in a group of people (kids) who you are not adept socially, you are unpopular. It is very rarely, and you might say never, the case that a socially inadept person is popular among kids. In a group of outsiders who admire the "really outsider" kid, he is not socially in adept, but idolized and popular, and thus adept within that group.
Thus we are left with the other side of the coin. What if what you really are trying to say is that intelligent people are intrinsically unpopular.This is closer to the truth within schools, but demands that unpopular be defined for all subsets of kids. By your definition "nerds" already don't have the social ability, but the lack of social ability sprouts from "intelligent people" ignoring it! I have known many intelligent people who have not become "socially inadept"(for we are talking only about social adeptness, as intelligence *itself* is not unpopular), and I have known plenty of people with below average intelligence who are socially inadept. At the same time, those on the fringes who are not popular among those circles can form their own "outsider" circles, but can be just as smart as those outside and just as popular as others within their own circles. Given a large enough population in any given circle, bullying between social circles would not exist.
You speak from the experience that the outsiders (D table) only had one table out of everyone. What if the outsiders had just as many tables as the A tables? What if they had more? The common idea of the "common" high school student would be thrown out the window if they were less common, however in everyones minds they remain the same( the sports team/cheerleading partiers). However when there are more D than A, doesn't existing in group D give you much more popularity without as much social restrictions, especially if you already have been associating yourself with that group? If you have declared yourself a nerd, and now you enter an environment with more nerds than sports players, you are on top (college matches this perfectly). Intelligence itself doesn't cause unpopularity or social awkwardness now, because you are in a group of like-minded people who all value intelligence. Secondary schools could be exactly the same given the right mix of students, however there will necessarily be less like minded intelligent people because not all people go to college, and thus the ratios will be different. In today's high schools, intelligence has become a more popular thing to have that previously. It is not as important a factor yet as "fitting in", but given the right set of conditions, children will find the next big trend and just like your example of John Nash picking up new habits of the people he admired, they will latch onto the trend and run with it.
To sum up: Intelligence is not a factor in popularity, but associations and populations of like-minded people is. If there is enough people with the same ideals as you, you will have both popularity and social acceptance, whether this group values intelligence or field goals, or whatever. The current status of the schools can change, but the change can be seen in the students without new school systems given time and the right societal changes to redefine what is popular.
"Popularity" has many faces.
A blabbering extrovert does not equal popularity in some circles.
Though schools certainly vary.
In my school, there is no one society of teenagers. There is the main collection of students, divided into blacks and whites and grays. There is the main group of athletic kids, and then the other groups. The smaller groups lead happier junior high careers, are smarter (though not necessarily academicaly), and quieter. They are also close-knit among each other, and there are certain social classes that neither harm nor benefit. They look at the main group, with its intricacies and its drama, and laugh. I am one of the outsider group.
It's interesting to see how else a junior high system can be organized, but it seems that it all boils down to the same bubble and the same need for organization--however savage.
Though, the intricacies of junior high life are more likely than not infinite. There is a certain rulebook built into people's minds absolutely FILLED with exceptions and clauses. Popularity is not a black and white thing, and the society in a school is not singular. A school is a large enough environment to achieve numerous societies with their own social castes. The way you have written about it simplifies it: "popular" is defined by being liked within the largest society in the school. In reality, it is different. There are cliques which range from large to small, either having or not having social classes. Smaller cliques form larger societies of closest-knit cliques, in which existing social castes blend and conflict with each other.... As I said, the rulebook has infinite clauses. I say this coming fresh from this system on a Friday night after school.
So, you certainly might have included more about that in your essay. Though all in all, there's definitely a lot of good in it. Good job, and thank you for giving me something to think about.
My high school experience was a little different and doesn't fit the mold. It was an all girls Catholic High School. It was entrance by exam, college prep, and very competitive. When girls don't have to worry about being unattractive to boys, its a funny thing. They get smarter. And lacking achieving male attention as a common pursuit, they compete at being smart against each other.
While the smartest girls were NOT the most popular--which holds with your distracted theory, I found--they were not persecuted or unpopular by any stretch but greatly admired. By Junior and Senior year there was very little antagonism between the popular and unpopular girls.
I was by all rights a nerd but I ventured into the freak category in as much as I flaunted not studying--but this was to differentiate myself from the Grinds. I was NATURALLY smart, you see. This was my way of setting myself a part--advertising emotional angst and complete intellectual boredom. This eventually succeeded in getting me begrudging admiration across cliques--or at least it seemed that way to me. And while it prevented me from developing a good work ethic, it set me apart.
To show you how unusual the all girls competitive environment is: the most anticipated day of the year was rank day. Each quarter there was a clamoring as the class rank was posted. The top 5 (which occasionally but not usually included me) were quiet, sweet girls who worked hard (I was the exception, there--Lazy But Smart). They were universally well liked, for no other reason than they were NICE and eager to please but not sycophants. And the Top 10 was not without at least 3 or 4 of the most popular girls in school.
The real social qualifier, in most cases ESSENTIAL for popularity: MONEY. And you could tell who had the money even in uniform: by the earrings they wore and their shoes alone.
An unusual but interesting and, for a female, invaluable high school experience. If I could send my daughter to an all girls educational environment I would in a heartbeat. It never occurred to me in high school that being smart was a liability.
That didn't happen until I discovered boys and the rest of the world in college. Talk about a rude awakening.
P.S.
The guy below me (DO not wake the Dreamer) is very ignorant not because he said it is "stupid" but to have such a small statement not even to back it up (probobly Cause he didnt read it all) and negative comments for what? does it make him feel better cause he pts a "stupid" smile at the end of his sentence? I hate "Stupid" People
How can you put a value on that? It's hard to prove, but we see it all the time with our children so we have come to believe. John Holt would be happy to see this online.
it's like i'm the one who's writing it... you can really see what's going on...
SO GREAT!!
You just cant begin to explain em.
You cant just classify reasons why people are unpopular. Their are many.
The closest I could probably explain it imo is: Basically it just boils down to people being twats to a certaing degree, and people trying to not be seen as shit or whatever by the twats. And then them who are just noticed as people the twats dont like who find it hard to socially inteeract with others.
But ye even that isnt right. Theres just too many reasons :P
But when I was in puplic school (last year) my class was mostly popular kids so every time a nerd, geek or ''retard'' came their parents would ''mysteriosly'' pull them out of school!! We didnt realy have seprate tables, but most people would move if someone they didnt like came!!!
Im bug scrole down!
It's just so funny to see how so much of your article applied to my life. Though I was a nerd during my adolescent years, I turned out graduating college with honors and getting a great job, and leaving the white trash bullies of past years in my dust.
Funny how some of the people who disagree with this article happened to be the popular ones in school. They seem to feel threatened that the nerds 'play a game much closer to the one played in the real world.' Too bad for them. They're also not the ones that are at the bottom looking up in this hierarchy.
here's the question..... In Egypt there was a god that would judge people when they die. this god's name is..
a. Anubis
b. Osiris
c. Isis
d. Amun- Re
if u get this right i will give u an award and if u want i will talk about u to my class so that way 22 people u dont know will know who u are
If I wasn't shy, I wouldn't be this smart. But w/e, live and let live.
(anubis? hard one!)
Nerds are awesome!!
"So if intelligence in itself is not a factor in popularity, why are smart kids so consistently unpopular? The answer, I think, is that they don't really want to be popular."
I realized I was lucky enough to learn this in 7th grade. Really being avrage just means they don't put in effort. I learned that because you want to achive more all you have to do is show that you put in the effert. ( Please bear my spelling it's math and science for me).
Being famous is an adult's version of being "popular at school" and look how they are treated by everyone else. No different than the relationships between nerds and popular kids - And most of them are simply famous because they're either good looking or good atheletes - just like school.
As for why smart kids are nerds.
The popular kids are:
a) the best looking
b) the best fighters and
c) the best atheletes.
Everyone else in their group are gimps, the reason why nerds stay away is because they're smart enough to realise this.
a. Semnut
b. Istnofret
c. Nafari
d. Merneptah
if u get it right u get a prize. and also if u want ill tell my whole class about u!!!!!! ill give u a hint about his son. his son was 50 years old when he became pharaoh and also u might want to check out the book " The Place in the Sun" that's where u might find the answer ;)
theres a diffrence between knowing its this_string.equal(other_string) because of what the book literally said vs knowing the appropriate use between that and this_string == that_string based on understanding of pointers (Mr. grahm, please forgive the use of java in this example, it was the first thing to pop in my head)
IE: quoting random trivia is not and will never be an accurate measure of intelligence
some popular kids at my school are in honors math (the highest)
and some nerds at my school arn't smart
i think that personality is what determines your popularity
anyway, thats just what i think =]
Americans are just across an ocean from the UK. Are you truly that different? Can you not excel academically and in sports? Can the school student not be happy independent of their academic record?
Tell me that you went to a bad, a-typical school. With your essay, and certain teen films we see over here, it paints a cruel and selfish portrait of American school life.
- Paddy.
This essay makes a lot of sense to me. One thing you said was very interesting to me:
"There was something else I wanted more: to be smart. Not simply to do well in school, though that counted for something, but to design beautiful rockets, or to write well, or to understand how to program computers. In general, to make great things."
I couldn't agree more. This explains a lot. for example, I'm a grade-A nerd (quite literally) but I don't try hard on boring assignments. I can admit I' m a slacker, for several reasons. First, I don't _need_ to try hard. I get good grades anyway. but also, I'd rather work out a tricky computer program or make yet another useless geometric picture-cipher than spend extra time reviewing for a test I know I'll do well on. nerds don't have time to be popular because they're thinking about things on a more abstract level (or maybe that's just me).
I'm a nerd, but I don't care much about grades. It makes sense, really. in the article you talked about the meaninglessness of grades and tests. I'm smart enough to realize playing the game of perfect grades is a useless as popularity (well, almost). I just have more intellectually stimulating things to do than worry about my clothes. or obsess over essays.
after this rant, though, I need to add that I do try hard on interesting assignments. I'm a perfectionist if I want to write a good essay for its own sake, if not for the grades. And a good report card is the ticket I need to slack off. Pass a certain point, and you can spend class time doodling on graph paper.
If Your Not Confident Enough
Pretty Enough
Fake Enough
Then Your Not Accepted
And If You Try Hard To Get Notcied You Get Called a Suck Up
Theres No Way Of Winning Its Quite Depressing ...Thats Why I Can't Wait to Leave School Not Because Of The Work Because Of The People
i grew up killing your friends and my parents were the same !
us cool people hate you you scum bag !
eat dirt!
i rape you in the showers while you scream my name
'again captain scott'
i love ur buttocks
grrrrrrr u nerd
If you are cool then I hope I am not, I would hate to be the link to our Neanderthal past that you are demonstrating so clearly. You are the reason this world is in caos, you are the reason there are so many wars, you very exsistence is proof of devolution and lastly you are so stupid you probably have no idea what I just wrote. :) Have fun.
In about year 8 I was friends with some of the 'popular' crowd but I didnt like them very much because they were always bitching about each other so much. That's why i tend to habg around with the 'freaks/nerds' I find them more friendly. True I dont hang around with the very odd people, but I wish I had time to talk to them more, because I am sure they are actually very nice people.
I am a High School Nerd just like the ones you talked about here, and what you have said is extremely relevant, and is also an inspiration for when I get the middle finger in class for knowing what pi is.
Just 3 more years ;)
Great essay dude... Drop me a line sometime: ferret949@yahoo.com
Thankyou
RHCP rules!
I, for the record, would like to reaffirm one point: I don't have perfect grades... nor to I really even care about the grade beyond getting accepted in to collage. My passion is Math and my hobby is writing randomly. I neither need nor care about the grade because my life doesn’t revolve around them. Grades are only as good as the person behind them.
-Vorlondel-
1st observation - To become popular often you first need to believe yourself to be above others, if you do not believe this yourself then how will others? An automatic response to this is to believe you have the right to pick on those you feel are below you. Once you do this you notice it gains you popularity and often will continue to, until your popularity is based on your ability to belittle others. However a smart person learns quicker, everyone gets trod on by someone, and a smart person very quickly learns empathy, the ability to place themselves in someone else shoes. I know myself I could never belittle anyone else for a simple reason - it could be me, and so my popularity never grew via this method.
2nd Observation - It is human genetics and most animal genetics that automatically make the strongest and most confident man or even woman the alpha man/woman and not brains, and it is true alot of people have one or the other and not both. Why? why dont clever people wish to make themselves footballers, and compete? Well often they dont see the point, it is hard physical work, why would you need that if you have brains. Actually you are looking the wrong way, often people become clever because instead of going to kick a ball around, they stayed in reading, or even watching tv (yes tv can teach you somethings) again drawing from my experience, I liked to play football, but I liked to read just as much, there is another reason I prefered to stay in (see obs. 3).
Observation 3 - Smart people often lack good social skills as children, they see things differently and do not like to talk about meaningless things such as going to school, they wish to talk about possiblities and things that often the less smart have no idea about, and this will always be one of the biggest dampers to conversation, People hate what they dont understand and so the less smart will try and shut up the smart, again this is automatically seen by others as a show of power, and so one loses rep for not standing up while the other gains for pushing down. They also lack the social skills for other reasons in ome cases, for exam they consider other people more (see obs1) and so do not wish to push in and so the conversation will go on without them saying anything (not good), when they do say something it will be misinterpereted because they know what they mean,but telling it to someone of less intelligence is not so easy (like trying to open an excel 2007 with excel 95)
4th observation - I actually have met some very intelligent popular people, who for the very simple reason that smart is seen as bad do not wish to be seen as smart incase they are disrespected.
Alot of these reasons work back and forth between each other, however it is good to know that those that have problems normally get passed them as the get older, though to say that the hierachy is not there in adults would be wrong, atleast the way people see each other can stay the same for life, I know grandparents that still despise the smart/popular/sexy/ugly for no reason other than it is what they learned to do in school.
These are my thoughts, maybe I am wrong, and I agree with most of what I read of yours.
I know there are some meat heads out there who will reply to this saying something highly intelligent such as "That was the biggest load of turd ever." to those that do - if you aint got something nice to say - "SHUT THE HELL UP"
PS it helps if you do gain some muscle to defend yourself ;)
What you guys want is people to like you yes? So be yourself. For the benefit of the younger me, that kid who is getting bullied for being different, be yourself, do not allow other people to push you around.
Talk with people dont block them out, do not be shy, if you are shy people will see it as weakness and will prey on it and you will just become more shy.
I may sound like a blathering idiot, and sometimes it is hard to communicate exactly what I mean. However I have been from the lowest of the low to the highest of the high. I am not stupid, I have an IQ last tested of 150, but none of it matters if you do not have friends, they are what support you, they are what make your life bearable, you can strive to be like those footballers and cheerleaders if you want, but you have to ask yourself, what do you really want, to be a stuck up arrogant morron or to have friends, because at the end of the day I will always go for having mates. "divided we fall, but together we stand tall". I will tell you a story about the difference having friends can make instead being the guy that makes everyone else life a misery.
"I was once in a club with my brother, fairly drunk, my brother is 2 years younger than me and a "popular" kid, I love him though, and will protect him no matter what. We were just standing talking to other people when another kid came over and started to punch my brother, again and again, with another big guy stopping people from getting near, at first I was shocked because I had no idea what was going on, I thought maybe he had done something, so I started to walk over and said to the guy "hey what are you doing, what has dan done" at this point no-one else was coming at all to protect dan (my brother) and the big guy just says "stay out of it", so I said "no he is my brother, tell me what he has done" at this point the big guy swings for me and I catch his hand, the guy that was hitting my brother stopped and swung for me 2 but I catch his hand aswell and hold on so they cant swing at me, at this point about 30 of my friends, swarm around us and push us apart, my brother walks outside and heads for home, while I am standing in the middle of a crowd of people all stopping these guys from getting anywhere near me, it is then that I realised who my friends were and that I would not give them up just to seem like the popular person. Those were all people who I had just accepted and talked to as people. It is even funnier that I later became mates of sorts with the big guy because he respected not only the fact that I was the only to stand up to him but that everyone else rushed to protect me but not my brother. "
There are many bullies who you may think you are above or better than, there are many snobs that you may think you are better than, footballers, cheerleaders, even bums, and tramps or your average joe. Let me put you straight, and if you are clever and of open mind you will understand this - "You are wrong". You are not better or worse than anyone around you, you are different everyone has been shaped by different lives, by different genes, but at the end of the day if you do not understand that, you are just as ignorant as a racist, nazi, or whatever, that may be hard to take, and I am not saying you should let people get away with what they want, you shouldn't I am saying that you should manage to understand that - in their shoes you WOULD do the same.
So next time you talk to a "cheerleader" or "footballer", talk to them not as a superior or inferior person, but as an equal.
Most important of all even more than being clever are friends and enjoying yourself, life, is for the living, live it, dont hide away and watch it go by. If you are lonely you can come on here and talk, I will talk back if I am around, but dont get sucked in to this, get out, make friends.
Please listen to me, I have seen too much misery in this world caused by one man wishing to be better than another, as soon as the world understands we can live as equals it will be a much better place to live.
I am not trying to preach here, if you are happy where you are at, I say to you stay there, but if you are one of those people who like me used to sit in the corner alone and sad, try and change it, dont keep sitting there, the problem propbably wont go away.
I have a good friend who is stuck in a rut that she has worked herself so deeply she does not want to do what is needed to get out, she has left it too long and ahs got used to being sad and alone, I watch her and I try and pull her out but at the end of the day she has to be the one to change her situation, I can provide a ladder but only she can climb it.
My message to anyone stuck in a situation alone is that you dont have to stay there, climb out, find your strength of will, the longer you leave it the worse it gets.
I dont know what more to say, there are people out there who want to get you, who are so selfish and narrow minded they cannot see beyond their own eyes, but be happy in knowing that you are not them. They will have problems all the rest of their lifes most likely, whereas you can step out and change your future. Also be happy to know that if you look properly there are probably alot more people willing to help you than you first believe. I am one but in every society there will be others there to help.
As a freshman in high school (and one of the smart girls who was saved from nerd-hood by good looks), I must say I agree. I went to an amazing elementary/middle school combo school, but once I got into high school... challenges disappeared. I've told a senior friend who agreed with me that the only reason I still go is so that I can get out of it, aka get into a great university so that I WILL be challenged.
As a guy who can't throw a football worth a damn and of average fitness level, I'm not high on the "popularity hierarchy", but I'ce also learned to not really give a damn, either in my senior year. Realizing this fact has made life a little easier.
Of course I'm also a bit older (20 as opposed to 17/18) due to not doing so well at school before (homeschool is much worse, let me tell you), and as a nerd, I'm not by far of the most unpopuar kids in school, mainly due to having built something up in creative writing class with my input (I've been doing it for quite awhile) and quirky humor. Of course it isn't the nerdiness that is getting me anywhere, but that I've learned some semblance of social skills in my time.
I think the biggest poblem for me growing up was never fitting to any of the "social norms" you find anywhere. I can get along with most groups now without really having to conform... Um, hard to explain what I mean, just that as time went on I've been with this or that group but always as an outsider. or something.
Damn.
I mean, good essay. Really hits home and gives me more hope for the future.
I'm a nerd too, and every day I get commented on who I am and the way I am.
But this essay made me realize some important things and completely changed
my view on society.
I thank you.
Before you can succeed in the external world, it's best to master your internal world. Zen meditation helps speed that process up by clearing up mind blocks.
It helps ease mind waves in a sense that it ask you to accept things are they are as they appear in the moment.
I recommend the Book "Zen Mind: Begginers Mind" to get started if you are interested.
but from what i hear i thing that what is written is 100% true
If your a true "smart" nerd reading these comments, remember one thing above all else.....what you do or not do in high school will matter when you graduate from high school...whether or not you go to college or not. Think of high school as a big fish tank with lots of other fishes......all of the fishes in the tank will eventually be released into the ocean, how popular, good looking, or athletic some fish may be in your tank will mean nothing once they are released in to the ocean......these good looking, popular, and athletic fishes will have an overwhelming amount of competition once released into the ocean with billions of other fish...their once "top-of-the pecking order status while in the tank may just now leave them feeling like a "Guppy"......it will be the smart fish that were in the tank who have the best chance of surviving in the ocean...brains matter folks. Stick to your chess clubs, your computer clubs, business classes, and stalk your school and local libraries.....it is the "Mr. & Ms. Bill Gate's'" of the world who will ultimately excel and be successful.....smart successful people in the "real world" are admired, needed, and in the end.....DO Get The Girl (or guy as-you-may).
I do know that I visited my Aunt in America when I was about twelve I think I met a grouping of 'popular kids', a group of older siblings of my cousins friends. It didn't go well, I said hi and they looked at me as if I was a repulsive insect before returning to their previous conversation. I didn't understand at the time why. I know now, that, while I regarded them ar rather rude, they viewed themselves as superior to me and thus beyond their notice.
I would agree with the point of bordom causing the various class divides and I feel that I was lucky with the ammount of great teachers I had. The only class that I was kinda bored with was history/geography and that was because I kept wanting to correct the teacher (due to the fact that I was really interested in both subjects and was reading beyond the levels he studied). After a while I just started bringing novels in, it was a laugh, he didn't notice until another student pointed it out.
I think that what you describe applies to nerds/geeks everywhere. At least, it applies to what I lived through at a good public high school in Spain, the country where I grew up, during the eighties.
I don't think the problem in the US is necessarily worse than in other countries. The advantage American nerds have over nerds elsewhere is that they can come to Silicon Valley or other geek clusters and live happy lives right after high school graduation or right after college (if they didn't get into one of the Bay Area's schools and wanted to get a bachelors degree before going to work). .
For me to come to the Bay Area, I had to work very hard through college to be among the top graduates of my class, so I could be hired by an American company based in Spain so I could be transferred to the Bay Area. By the time I came here, I was already 26 and I found myself as an immigrant here. Even though this is as close to a meritocracy as it can be humanly possible made, you American geeks enjoy the advantage of having been born and raised in the country which is home to geek wonderland (therefore don't have to deal with language/cultural barriers)! So please, be thankful to that!!!!!
You're a kid, I'm guessing that anyways.
Insulting things that you don't understand is an indication of stupidity.
It was a very well written essay and happens with various levels of harshness in schools in the developed world, it depends on the teachers and the subject matter as to how severely the groups are defined.
I would say the meaninglessness of the teen years is mirrored by the meaninglessness of the mid-life crisis years, after career success has topped out and the kids have gone off to college. Nowadays people in that age group seem to have found renewed meaning through trying to survive longer, thus becoming obsessed with health fads. Or they want to survive into other lives through reincarnation, and so take up spiritual paths.
I suspect the only reason teens feel the sub-society they are in is meaningless is because their survival needs are taken care of by others. Ask a gang banger in the projects who doesn't always get food for dinner reliably provided by a struggling working parent or a strung out junkie parent how bored he is with life. He probably is disinterested in school except as his marketplace for the drugs he will sell to finance a trip to Burger King and hopefully some bling and more. Suburban middle class comfort is what has made all of life so irrelevant to the teens you write about.
What I want to know is, do we humans ever get past mere survival as the answer to life meaning? I don't want to come up with better ways to make people of any age group feel like they can meaningfully contribute to survival issues, and so foster a more organized and meritorious social system for them to live in. That would be better than the current situation, but still not good enough, still just a delay of existential angst until the later years. Is this all there is to human existence, merely to exist?
I think Penny Arcade summed it up perfectly:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/10/28
=) (Sorry, just had to throw that out there.)
I don't think it would be possible to rank myself popularity-wise, in high school. I paid attention to my own friends and my own projects and didn't notice what the other people were doing, I was too busy with my own stuff.
By the time you become an adult, most people have become less dependent on social approval and more willing to be who they really are. It sounds like kids are more insecure now than they were in the 70s. That's sad.
Just aim for self-love and the rest will take care of itself. You can't please everybody, so find the people you respect and enjoy and they will be easy to please!
P.S. Please excuse me for my bad use of grammar.
It is astonishing to realize how much you are right by comparing schools and prisons, especially by reading this sentence in your reply to the comments that followed your article: "At my school, it was easy not to learn anything, but hard to get out of the building without getting caught."
However, I disagree with what is according to you the cause -or at least one of the causes- of that situation; you said:
"I'm just guessing here, but I think it may be because American school systems are decentralized. They're controlled by the local school board, which consists of car dealers who were high school football players, instead of some national Ministry of Education run by PhDs."
French schools are not controlled locally but by the Ministére de l'Education Nationale (Ministry of National Education), and the problems are the same than in the US schools. At the time I was at school, we didn't have the same kind of categories you can find in the US schools (I'm speaking about "Freaks", "Nerds", "Popular ones", etc.), but the situation was precisely the same: being smart meant being bullied, and it's still the rule nowadays.
Besides, from what I've heard thanks to people who are working (not as teachers, but as wardens whose work force them to be closer from the children and the micro-societies they create than school teacher) in French schools presently, this trend has eventually gained these schools: pupils separate themselves in affiliated groups such as "the gothics", "the skaters" (skate-boarders), "the rappers", etc.
Notice that I've precised that these wardens, are *close* from the children's world, closer than teachers: that's the node of the problem; having a statist national ministry in charge of schools run by PhDs won't be a solution as they, as well as the teachers and local school directors, won't have a real idea of what's actually going on in schools, being too far of the everyday life of (bullied) children to see anything.
So the solution, IMO, is "simply" to change the whole school system. Easier to say than to do, obviously; anyway I think that a good thing to do so as to expose the problem would be to make a documentary showing the daily life of a nerd at school, which won't certainly done or at least not before a long period of time...
By the way, a couple of days ago, in a French school yet not known to be a "difficult" one (understand by the euphemism "difficult": "ruled by violence from local gangs"), a teenager has stabbed another teenager for, what was previously thought, apparently no reason.
But the reason has been discovered later: they had a quarrel about "which one would rule the school".
... Prisoners stabs each others so as to determine "who rules the prison" too... :]
FC
I was called a nerd twice, that i can remember. I really abhorred that idea. But i think people, over time, had a problem labeling me because my social network was vast and crossed a lot of boundaries. And the attempts at labeling me really ended when i started playing football and after i started driving to school. As I began to buy-in to "acceptable" modes of social participation, I became more palatable.
But things I chose to do in high school, were guided mostly by my own volition. I was really trying to be popular - at school anyway.
I didn't feel particularly popular at home. And I wonder if that is what made me prey for the other kids. Could they sense that I didn't feel that acceptable to my parents?
So I wonder what the quality of the relationships between the parents and the kids who consider themselves - and are social labeled- as popular.
I've spent almost as much time as adult as I did as a child.
I think popularity and conformity still plays a factor. People still admire people that have money, are good looking, socially adept, fame, and high positional authority. But I suppose its easier to surround yourself by many people who think as you do as an adult. So if you want to remain socially awkward and focus on being really smart then you can do so relatively comfortably as an adult rather the closed system of junior high and high school.
Dude, bad lag, the article already said that.
The only thing you added is an implication that not TRYING to be popular is a bad thing.
When I entered my highschool, in mountainous suburbia, life abruptly became hell. I knew absolutely nobody, not a soul. My hair, way of sitting (I still do that; I've realized with some pride that I sit like L from Death Note), my baggy and INCREDIBLY unfashionable clothes, and the fact that I knew the answers and didn't suppress them to look like a hot little idiot (the ideal girl at my school) were a source of vicious mockery.
Being a girl, I don't get beat up; however, my combined oddities seemed, by late September of the first semester of Freshman year, to have convinced most of the school that I was literally retarded. After all, how could a person not straighten their hair, dye it platinum blonde in streaks, wear skintight jeans and T-shirts or miniskirts... etc.
The problem is that my highschool is entirely composed of people who are at least in the middle-middle class; people who aren't can't afford to live around the school. Most people are rich or upper middle class. I am probably in the upper low or the lower middle; our house was cheap, and we don't spend money on the stupid yuppie things that everyone else does. These people have lived in this town all of their lives, in most cases, and believe, as you said, that this is actually Life. They believe that MTV is an accurate representation of what they should aspire to; the bar for appearance is set outrageously high, because my classmates can afford it.
Last year culminated in the mysterious leaking of the information that my role model happens to be Joseph Merrick, the Elephant Man. After a day of bullying, missed assignments, loneliness at lunch and generic mockery in the halls, at a time where I was in tech week for a musical, was too depressed to eat almost at all the whole week, and danced six hours a night in rehearsal -- I'd had enough. I was walking to the bus home, getting snowballs thrown at me, and trying to ignore someone who was just being stupid and annoying, about Naruto or some crappy show. Anthony, one of the biggest jerks in the school (and, predictably, a star on the football team) spotted me and began, loudly, to trumpet like an elephant.
It was about then I was going to just stand there and scream at the whole situation, when one of the special ed kids walked up and hugged me and said it was all right. Great kid, and for a while after that, I was almost happy when people whispered about my 'retardation'.
Thought I'd share that story -- Anyway; I love this article. A lot of the time, I get fed up with school in the extreme; I'm only in second semester of sophomore year, and things are unbearable again. My (violently bullied) friend from back downtown loves this article too; it helps make a little bit of sense of our stupid high school lives. When I feel like just quitting, I read this article, usually in conjunction with The True History of the Elephant Man.
Actually, I'm not even sure where I'm going with this... I thought it was an excellent essay that provided a lot of insight, good job and thanks.
Maybe the nerds have more in common with most popular kids than think. It seems to me you had enough time to draw a map and label people with your ranking. I doubt most people took the time in school to do this. So in your own way you contributed to social rankings; only I doubt you ever had the nerve to share your map with anyone outside of your ranking. Because you'd be stopped... most likely by one of the most popular kids. I mean this is the first I ever heard of someone drawing a map for this purpose… and I doubt you would have ever posted this map for others to see…. instead you gave it power by keeping it to yourself and only those you trusted could see it.
What is even more interesting to me is…. I wonder if this secretive world of your map drawing and the most popular kids scheming is really so different. You say a girl was afraid of being made fun of for being seen with a nerd because her friends would make fun of her. Well isn’t that telling in itself. It appears that the most popular kids would make fun of the middle classes for talking to nerds, instead of the most popular kids being mean to the nerds themselves. So the nerds went on thinking the most popular kids are the most popular because their not so bad, but the truth of it is just as the middle classes were unaware of cafeteria maps…. nerds were unaware of the real reason the middle classes were treating them so badly.
So wouldn’t it be interesting if the middle classes found out about the cafeteria map that categorized popularity then the middle classes may appear more justified in their cruelty towards nerds… and then if the nerds found out just who was making fun of the middle classes for talking to nerds-the most popular kids. Then what would be…. Probably both the middle classes and nerds would try to better themselves and not be so judgmental leaving the most popular kids to fend for themselves.
But before I jump down the throats of people who screwed me over….my question is… do we need to be divided to become united? And is that what the most popular kids are guilty of…. division? Lastly is it purely in their self-interest or without it is life more chaotic?
I always thought of the most popular kids as such a tightly knit group while everyone else was more scattered. But the reality is they've already turned on each other so since they are self proclaimed survivors they ensure that others do the same but all the while keeping things on an even keel.
Why?
Because we know the back stabbing, the rumours, the bitchy lies, and (the worst) wearing the wrong thing! Who the heck would want to try to be perfect ALL the time?
we are from Brazil (we will actually enter in high-school this year, but we don't think it may be very different), and here the life for nerds seems to be easier than in the United States... anyway, we have always been very criticized (sadly even by teachers) for our unusual habits. those teachers always said that we should "go out" more and "study less" (believe us, some teachers actually have said this to us in a serious way). many students have also made fun of us for the fact that we prefer to stay home and read about history and learn math than playing sports like most people in this age do.
we just like the way we are, it doesn't hurt us; studying (not just school-related material) is a good practice and it doesn't affect people around us in any negative way, so why do they complain? why do they think that we should go out and "have fun" (in their own opinion) just because other people do? can't studying be fun?
"fun" doesn't have an universal meaning; each one should be able to define fun as the things they like to do, so if we like to stay home and study, it's fun for us. fun doesn't always have to be "going out" and "socializing", and doing what the majority likes to do: not everyone has to like going out. someone has actually said us once: "you can't dislike going out, because NO ONE I know dislikes it.": this person certainly didn't understand that each person has a different taste.
we also thought that WE were the ones who had some kind of problem, but now we realize that they (those who judge us by our unusual taste) are the ones who are misunderstanding the whole thing.
we come from a "family of nerds", and we like being part of one, because our family supports us and understands us. some people think that nerd habits are undiscussably wrong, but they are being very small-minded.
we liked what you said about American high-schools having no purpose. we also think that many teachers preffer to give students long and pointless work with the only purpose being the grades: the point shouldn't be the grades, it should be the learning.
we also liked the comparison of the American high-school with a prison: we compare it with a jungle. one thing that we noticed here where we live is that, until 4th grade, the teachers always emphasized that they are like mothers. but, from 5th grade on, there started to be more than 1 teacher, and those many teachers for each class seemed not to care about the students' behaviour anymore, and that may be the point where their minds start to become completely twisted.
the word for "nerd" in Brazil is "CDF" (an acronym in Portuguese which means "iron head"), meaning someone who studies very much. but what we don't understand is that "CDF" is used as an offense, and most people don't like being called that way. but why? what do most people dislike so much about people that like studying? this is strange, and certainly has something to do with the failing educational system, which is very bad here in Brazil.
this is of course the situation in a whole different country, but it is very similar.
NOTE: feel free to correct our English, if necessary.
I do like everything stated about the school system though, I never thought about it that way - that school is just an institution for storing kids until they become of use. Although for the first half of my day I attend regular high school and am force-fed all the useless (for me at least) facts about history and rhetorical analysis, the second half of my day is spent at a magnet school full of specialized courses in math and science that are very useful, and the teachers genuinely care about turning us into the best scientists we can become. So I do agree that in general school is exactly as the author interpreted it, but the point of my whole response is that there are always exceptions.
(p.s. I don't know if anyone has pointed this out yet because I didn't read all the responses, but there is a grammatical error in this essay. 10 points to anybody that can find it.)
It ought to be "whom."
Great essay.
"But I'm not mean to popular people that don't cause problems,"
...instead of 'that' should use 'who' because you are speaking of people instead of inanimate objects...
"it works best to have no shame and no fear and find stuff that makes you admirably different, (like I'm a female science nerd that plays paintball with the guys,) and to find a bunch of happy friends to mock society with"
should be: "to find a bunch of happy friends with whom one can mock society" [best not to end a sentence with a preposition..]
1. The kids seem more connected to the adult world, to adults in general. Less suspicious of adults, more trusting of them; they seem to have more of a feeling of sharing the same world, and of thus being less like prisoners, and more like interns... people who are at a different stage of their experience, but in the same shared space as the adults.
2. The kids seem less polarized into popular and unpopular groups. I haven't seen kids who are typical "unpopular" kids here in Spain. I don't remember seeing any in Norway either. Yes, there are groups of kids, groups of friends, but I haven't seen the unpopular ones as clearly as I have seen them in Canada and the US. I think they exist here, but there seem to be fewer of them, proportionately. The structures of the social groupings the kids are in seem less rigid to me, here.
All of this begs the question of why it is different in North America. I don't know - but I would like to!
Do you really think so ?....
just read this
The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.
this is by the way from socrates c.470 BC - 399 BC
I like your text but some of you theories are way off ;).
I guess you are not an expert on many topics you write about ...thats somehow dangerous.But when you keep it simple with eating tables ranked A to F you are good.
"The cause of this problem is the same as the cause of so many present ills: specialization"
so why is that an ILL ? I am pretty sure no generation hat more whealts, health (lived longer) and more knowledge...So why is it ILL ?
To me (a nerd, and proud of it), there are two types of nerds. There are the kind who lack social intelligence, but they are generally happy where they are. And then there are the kind who are very socially aware. They have a tough time, because they don't fit in, don't really want to fit in, but don't want to be a loner. Anyway, there you go.
Focus on what's important, and try to never loose compassion for people, because we are all the same deep down. Hope this makes sense from a 101 year old all the way from Australia....
I also avoid sports as a matter of personal preference, even pride, but I am friends with most of the fencing team at my school. However, they seem to be one of the only sports teams that have mostly "nerds" on the team who discuss Shakespeare and the meaning of life/42 at the lunch table.
I have found, though, that the most popular people at the school are not the so-called "jocks", but the drama kids. There is a definite hierarchy in the fine arts program, with the upperclassmen drama people on the top.
i assure you, this essay may be true 4, maybe 5 years ago... but now, its the smart kids that get the girls. even if your not very attractive, people will know you. my freind, he's black, he's not the typical stereotype of ghetto. he's VERY smart, and the girls seem to LOVE him. even the really pretty girls love him, they all know his name and want to be around him! i didnt understasnd it at first, but now, its all too clear. it seems to make me wish i was as smart as him, i dont even care if im ugly. i jus want to be smart, but i dont want to be smart because i want to get GIRLS. i want to be smart because i think it would make me alot happeier, i would understand things easier. do well in school and please my parents much more.
Some black kids have always been popular because of this reason: They were seen as romantic heroes, struggling against the Big Bad of Racist And Unjust society. This was particularly true in the sixties on university campuses. It might have seeped through.
Personal advice from me to you: Start reading more books, your spelling is horrible. Cut back on watching TV show with at least 2 shows per week. In those two hours you can read really good books. Start with Harry Potter, they're really good, exciting and completely spell-checked .... ;)
Thanks.
As a European, I've always wondered, when watching US highschool-dramas, why the popular crowd could stay so popular while being so hated by the majority? This kinda clears that up for me.
This sentence made me think that there's a film in here somewhere:
"Kids are sent off to spend six years memorizing meaningless facts in a world ruled by a caste of giants who run after an oblong brown ball, as if this were the most natural thing in the world. And if they balk at this surreal cocktail, they're called misfits."
For example this could involve a group of adults, being sent of into a strange surreal prisonworld, with literal giants and a mandatory game with mysterious rules. At the end of the movie the adults would transform into children, the prisonworld would be revealed as a suburban high school.
Such a film would be highly instructive for nerds. Like you said, if only someone has told you that it was prison instead of making you read Lord of the Flies ... Yah ... if ONLY ... ;)
Be of good cheer.
The first half of this "essay" was in fact interesting....some points I agreed with, some parts I found insightful, and some premises I thought were incorrect and off base. Mostly I thought to myself that the issue at hand was less universal than the author implied - what he described was not the case at my high school for example, and my girlfriend agreed that it was not the case at her daughters high school either...but in both cases we attended schools where accomplishment and achievement were and are rewarded (I attended one of the top public high school in the United States...my girlfriends daughter attends one of the most prestigious private schools in all of Canada). Ont he other hand, my girlfriend did agree that this sounded a like like HER high school, as her parent did not have the means to send her to an elite academic focused private school.
However, by the middle of the essay, it is clear the author is just an overgrown tortured soul still writing in his teenage angst that he has not been able to grow up and past. They hated me because I was smart...they hated me because I was more mature...school is useless anyway - it is nothing but a prison.
Dude...you got picked on because you were a social misfit. The same urge that prompted you to right this drivel...that need to be heard in order to prove how smart and more advanced and evolved you were...that is the urge that got you ostracized in high school. Sure, lots of what takes part in high school is banal. But lots of what takes place in adult life is banal as well....things like wanna be intellectuals leveraging the wonderful democracy of the internet to final be "heard", for example. Ones in ability to deal with this reality...dismissing what was not of interest to you without being so clearly dismissive of those who it was of interest to....the ability to pick up key clues about the social behavior that is the very fabric of our society (the good and the bad)...is both part and parcel of true maturity (which isn't just measured by intellect) and of a proper emotional balance.
Everyone else managed to get along except the kids at the "D" table. You've decided it was because you were some much smarter and more mature. That isn't the case. it was because you were so self absorbed and vain that you purposely stood apart to bring attention to yourself...and that is what you got.
"if these "smart" kids were so smart they wouldnt be wasting their time making maps of how popular people are ....if these kids are so smart why cant they figure it out that they just chose to not be popular ... if they are so smart why cant they find happines .. the thing is as seb said "they simply lack social intelligence " and thats why i think they are considered outcasts .. and not because they are too smart"
It appears a teenager understands something that you haven't figured out, even in adulthood.
Get over yourself. Really. You're an adult now.
I definitely think that i can relate a little bit with this author though because i know that i just choose not to be popular. I don't have the time. I have AP classes, debate, and work... no time for parties and talking on the phone about nothing for hours. I wish being popular didn't take work... that would be nice.
I am a graduate student who TA's at a top-25 (but not top-10) university. The students here are very smart. They're also very attractive, and they dress well. While a few of my students are socially awkward, this is not the case for the vast majority of them. I suppose it's possible that the majority--or even a large minority--of the students here were 'D-table' (or C-table) kids in middle school and high school and suddenly learned how to dress well and fit in when they met all the smart people here, I have a hard time believing that. I have a much easier time believing that these smart kids were mostly A-tablers than D-tablers.
Aussi, je suis d'accord avec GoGoBear et je ne suis pas un Francophone. Je suis le cours de francais depuis quatre ans et je n'ai pas utilize un tradectur electronique.
First, in American schooling the idiots win. Not just popularity, but in grades too. (which you seemed to have not seen) Due to the fact that the school system is designed for the slower end, in order to pass you must blindly memorize facts and are not required to understand the subject itself. While that may seem like something that would make school easier for the “smart kids” to pass, it in fac makes it harder. Those who have a higher range of intelligence usually have a much tougher time passing because the questions tend to be worded in a different way then our brains are thinking.
Secondly, as you pointed out already, the majority of teachers don’t care anymore. But I hate to say they all are like that. I’ve had many teachers who accomplished their job and still had the energy to go beyond their duty (throughout Middle school in particular). I honestly believe that when the government took over public schooling they ruined it for everyone. Lazy teachers merely teach for the SOL requirements now because that’s all they need students to pass. For example, when I entered middle school I was shocked that teachers kept teaching not only after the SOLs, but up to the very last day . When the SOLs ended in elementary school, we had gotten to watch movies the last two or three weeks of school.
These are just two things I felt I needed to defend, but I do agree with a good portion of what you have here.
The school has nearly entirely segragated the two halfs, it's an interesting, generally beneficial dynamic.
The only bullying I've heard of was within the two factions and there isn't much.
I am a nerd but I belong to an entirely independant social structure from the stereotypically popular kids so I don't even think of them.
There is no particular hierarchy to the nerd half but a distinct one within the 'normal' kids.
Independantly the students have basically seperated into two schools that just happen to be housed in the same building.
There are 1600 people at my school, about 400 in my year and I will probably never meet 150 of them and never have a single class with them.
I would think this sort of setup is highly unusual but it's all I've known and the teachers have long excepted it.
can. It does not really matter what University it is. What matters is you and how
much you really want to acheive. Use nerds can make it anywhere, not just at
Popular universities.
I'm a high-school senior right now, and this makes perfect sense to me.
It's been strange for me, though, because I became one of the non-conformist "freaks" in middle-school, and I was on the wrestling team throughout most of high-school. I was kind of alienated wherever I went: I was a freak, but I cared about studying hard; I was a wrestler, but I was a freak and I studies; I was a nerd, but I was a freak and I wrestled. This perspective of mine led to a lot of insight. Your article pretty much solidified what I'd been feeling.
I think that the reason American high-schools are so much more anti-intellectual than schools in other countries is because consumer-culture in America is so much stronger. Getting high-school kids to spend all of their money on new shoes and clothes is good business. I know kids that work over 20-hours a week to spend their entire paychecks on nothing but clothes, eating-out, and weed.
i am fourteen years old and i have a whole new outlook on middle school because of this.
im not going to look at the school nerds in the same way any more and im not going to look at myself in the same way anymore.
i believe that almost everything in this article you wrote is true and i want you to know that it has changed something in me
An observation:
In the Netherlands kids are divided according to intelligence at age 11-12. Most nerds end up in the highest level of education between age 12 and 18-19 (below that there are 3 levels for decreasing levels of intelligence, ending with schools that only teach practical hand-labour skills).
There are many problems with such a system, mostly based on the issue that intelligence just isn't easy to measure (partly solved because based on merit students can still move up and down the levels during their school career). But for a lot of students it created Nerd Heaven. I was surrounded by 500 students who like algebra, who like learning Latin, who wanted nothing more than build their own rocket. Sure we still got bullied by kids from a nearby school (let's say a school for level 3 out of 4, with nerds being in level 1 out of 4), but at least we could band together.
So maybe this is a potential solution, regardless of its many imperfections.
In mine,we had the jocks and cheerleaders, but they also included kids who were called "socsh", popular intelligent kids. There were those of us who were referred to as nerds/geeks, and there were the heads/burnouts (druggies), but they were never considered natural allies. Then there was a loose contingency of people who didn't fit in anywhere.
There were instances of a few jock bullies, picking on whomever (always male) they found to be a convenient target, but it wasn't to the extent Paul seems to have experienced. Cool girls could be cruel, but again, it wasn't a constant. Perhaps because we were such a small town things weren't quite so extreme?
I believe that to the extent we segregate into groups, and don't talk, share more experiences that differences are hardened.. but that applies to adults as well. Adults not pick on "nerds"? I don't know about that, but adults do pick on and abuse each other. Paul referenced Bill Gates, well, Gates might be highly intelligent and well educated, but he is also manipulative, greedy and highly despotic.
Whatever his IQ might be, it does not automatically translate to his output being in any way sound or positive. In a way, he is acting like the worst jock bully imaginable. He uses his money and power as cudgels instead of fists, to be sure, but still, to much the same end.
He received a Nobel prize for humanitarian acts, however the underpinning of those acts were to enable him to convince African government leaders to allow a pharmaceutical company Gates was heavily invested in, to test an AIDS vaccine on poor Africans. As a result of his insidious influence, AIDS actually increased in the countries that participated in the testing. Gates will no doubt never be tarred with that fact, though his money and power sought the sort of negligent practices that were used. He doesn't have a humanitarian bone in his body.
My daughter attended a larger high school, in the late '90s. More students, many more cliques and far sillier names attached to them. She's highly intelligent, but much more outgoing personality wise than I ever was.
Of course by that time terms like nerd and geek were far more appealing than they were in the '70s and early '80s. My daughter certainly used them to describe herself. She was a trophy winning softball player (unlike me, who had always been afraid of being hit by a ball.), a computer wiz, a passionate reader. She hung out with kids who played sports, average kids, punks and goths, and she pretty much dressed in jeans, t's and flannel, and wore glasses.
As a parent, what was most troubling to me, was that students were far more segregated than I was. Instead of students being merely catagorized into "collegiate" and "business" courses, there were five or six different classifications. Students are being dumbed down, and too many of the teachers were the epitome of the negative stereotypes I'd defended the profession against for years. Kids have it much tougher now, and I doubt too many adults are paying attention to that fact.
I attended a class reunion several years ago, and was actually shocked to find myself having conversations with people I never would have talked to back in the day. Most were pretty much thoughtful, decent human beings. A few of the jocks had gone to seed. I was saddened to see that one of my old high school friends, a highly intelligent and motivated guy had destroyed his life through alcoholism. Even more saddened after the fact when I contacted old friends who hadn't attended ultimately because they were still caught up viewing their fellow alumni through through frames of the past.
you didnt even bs any of it!
kudos to u
but ya u didnt have to throw in that stuff about school being like a part-time prison while my parents work! that is depresing
I agree that some of the causes for teenage misery are sociological and systemic, rather than personal.
My kids, 9 and 10, are homeschooled --- people feel that their socialization must be a big challenge. It isn't.
One of the benefits of homeschool is not having to wrestle with the social consequences of valuing your mental life. My kids are unusually creative. They have excellent concentration. They initiate many projects on their own and complete them without me. In our home we encourage Imagination, Concentration, and personal control of Time.
As much as public school teachers value and want such strengths , the social environment really mitigates against it. But school authorities also undermine all forms of independence, since it may interfere with the social control they need for mass production of diplomas.
I am not trying to change the system: just seceding from what does not work for my needs. Many parents are doing the same, regretful for causing the brain- drain.
Apropos of Mr. Graham's post- high school happiness, --- according to the Myers Briggs Personality Type Index, the Intuitive Thinking types feel terribly lonely and outcast in school --- until college, where they form a large part of the population. Post graduation, they become the leaders in contemporary technological culture, which is very dependent on Thinkers who use abstraction, insight, and ingenuity in problem-solving. It would be natural for an INTJ type like Paul Graham to become a successful artist and programmer.
But in junior high and high school, these types barely survive.
You raise some really pertinent ideas here and they lead me to think of some others. I remember reading a newspaper article some years ago about the points system in Ireland. You need to get a certain number of points in your leaving examinations to get into a college course. The amount of points required is worked out according to the number of applicants and the number of available places. So every year kids apply, sit the final exams in the standard high school subjects ( none of which bear any resemblance to real life or even academic work. It's a test of recall really), then in august you get your points (max. 600, that's straight As in higher level courses) and two weeks later everyone waits for the Central Application Office to announce the points required for each course and send out offers to those lucky enough to have enough points for their chosen course.
So what you get is high points for courses in high demand (law and medicine are the prime examples). This bears no resemblance to the level of intelligence required, or even the type of commitment needed. The opportunity to study a complex dialectical thing like the law or to become a healthcare professional, that is, a carer for the sick, is dealt out on the basis of how well you can remember quotes from King Lear or draw a diagram of how freeze-thaw erosion takes place on a hillside.
What this leads to is a stratification of student-bodies. The system treats us like consumers, so those driven to attain wealth and status study the syllabus day and night, pay for extra tuition and come out with 600 points. They become doctors and lawyers. The point of the article is that they may well have been better of picking turnips. A 600 point leaving cert is no guarantee of a skilled lawyer or of a doctor suited to providing a high-level of patient care. It is also no guarantee that once in college, you won't hate every minute of it. The point is that love of learning has been replaced by a system for rooting out those who can perform tasks within a given system in the hope of reward from on high.
Other students will be less motivated by the seeming rewards of diligence and will simply drop off the radar, without ever realising (until they're in the real world, and its too late) that the world at large values knowledge and skills totally different to those valued in schools. They are a very artificial system of merit.
The really nerdy kids, the ones who stayed nerds throughout, sometimes in secrecy, will go out into the world and find that it is a much better place than they imagined. They will find people and institutions which value their skills and knowledge.
Those who were most adept in school are often the ones who seem most petty and uninteresting as adults.
These are all archetypical descriptions and the lines will blur but i think you can see the similarities with your experience.
My own experience is that I discovered philosophy after leaving school and was astonished to find that people down through the ages spent their time thinking about abstract things simply because that was what floated their boat. And I became an avid amateur. So I went back to get a thorough grounding in the subject. I still meet people every day who ask what job I could possibly hope to find in philosophy. They find it very hard to understand that I do it plain and simply because it fascinates me. It touches on God, science, art, madness, literature, logic, AI, sociology, politics, justice. It is I think, the perfect undergraduate degree, in that it is so unspecialized. When I finish I want to be involved in studying politics, ethics, logic, linguistics, and a myriad of things. Every experience I have is richer. Pain and mental anguish are both increased and diminished by it. This kind of learning never happened at school. I hated maths at school. Now I'm reading a book on Godel's incompleteness theorems simply because it piqued my interest. I want to know about quantum mechanics. None of this is necessary for me to get my degree, but had I not started with philosophy none of these would have interested me. What job will I get? Who knows? I'm 23. I may have many different jobs before they put me in a box. We don't know what kind of society will exist in ten or twenty years time. Last year I met a woman who earns her living renting chocolate fondue fountains to people having parties. 15 years ago in Ireland, nobody had a job. If you pitched that idea to a bank manager, asking for a loan to start a chocolate fondue company you might have been committed.
I guess I'm just glad that I regained the nerdy part of me that I tried so hard to jettison in my early teens, and now I'm an adult with too many books, who posts lengthy replies to blogs on the internet, and has no idea how he will provide for himself, never mind figuring out how to support a wife and kids (if anyone should deign to marry me). And I love that. And I'm so grateful that I've had the circumstances (and the generous parents) to help me do this. Suburbia is still a bitch though.
Indeed.
I must say I've read some pretty insightful things in my day, but this must be one of the most eye-opening and .....just Wow! I don't even know - I can't find the words for it.
*stands up and applauses*
Bravo.
" When you tread water, you lift yourself up by pushing water down. Likewise, in any social hierarchy, people unsure of their own position will try to emphasize it by maltreating those they think rank below."
" When you tread water, you lift yourself up by pushing water down. Likewise, in any social hierarchy, people unsure of their own position will try to emphasize it by maltreating those they think rank below."
hope more people will read this.
I'm not saying there was no teasing or ostracization, but it's true - with those two factors accounted for, being a nerd became much, much more bearable. Some top nerds were even able to turn nerd-points into actual coolness value - after all, if a large (and therefore unbullyable) section of the population thinks Joe is cool, the rest of the group has to go along with it, otherwise the whole social structure of teenagers falls apart. That they think Joe's cool for being the only one to grasp the Calculus lecture on the first explanation or for successfully arguing down the history teacher regarding the Nuremberg Trials is sort of irrelevant.
Had the same observation at some point: public schools are part-time prisons to keep the kids out of the streets, so that parents do not have to worry about them during work hours.
OTOH, I realised, that when I was a kid I behaved like an adult. Now I kind of behave like a kid. (the Michael Jackson Syndrome ;) )
A lot of things you wrote sound familiar to me. Especially why teenagers bully the ones they feel superior to. It's exactly the same thing over here.
However, German nerds have 2 great advantages:
Our school system puts the kids into three types of schools with different academic levels after 4th grade. The hardest one has a higher percentage of "nerds" than the others, so at least nobody gets kicked around for spending time on other things than being popular. I had a pretty good time even though I wore glasses, I was good at almost all subjects (especially math), I played classical music on the piano and my social skills were probably lower average. That would make me a typical nerd, wouldn't it?
The second advantage: we don't have the word "nerd" in our language. Thank God.
I would give anything to go back to 1987 so that I could I deliver this essay to the 13 year old me... although to be honest, I don't think I would have read it all the way through. In fact, even if I had finished reading it, I probably would not have understood it. I was never really very perceptive when it came to this kind of thing...
And yet, despite the limited intelligence I enjoyed at the time, I had surprisingly few social acquaintances in my life who were not related to me by blood, namely Mother and Father.
In their case, I'm convinced, biological impulses and guilt were the only factors that prevented them from ostracizing me from family activities (such as Holidays, Christmas and annual birthday celebrations) even more than they did.
good stuff
Just hold on and ignore them.
1. The article is all over the place and it's unclear what you're trying to say throughout most of it. You don't explain the relationship between "schools as prisons" and "why nerds are unpopular" until the very end, and you don't address anything remotely relating to your "thesis" until the last section. I don't mean to suggest that articles are only good if they're written like high school term papers with a thesis at the end of the first paragraph, but this seemed really unfocused and was disorienting throughout most of the essay.
2. Your sections are way too short. I can understand making each paragraph convey the information that normal people convey in a single sentence. Most people do this when they write on the internet. But why make the sections separated by double line breaks so short? Each of these sections conveys roughly the information in a normal person's paragraph. In fact, just reading over this, it seems like the only reason you did this was to avoid having to adequately transitions between your paragraphs.
3. Your site design is obnoxious. Why does the text only take up 1/3 of my screen? Is it because we would see that each paragraph is less than a single line if it was spread out to any more?
4. A lot of your phrasing is clumsy and awkward. Sentences like "it's only temporary, and if you look, you can see beyond it even while you're still in it" are just unpleasant to have to wade through.
5. Your attempts to sound "deep" and "cultured" often fall on their face. You say, for example, "the only way to escape this empty life was to submit to it." This has NO MEANING at all. You don't explain why or how this is true. Being poetic is only fine as long as there is meaning behind your text. I would also recommend laying off the metaphors at bit... most of them seem forced and do not fit well with what you are trying to convey. Metaphors are only useful when they naturally flow with the text.
I'm 23 - two years out of college. I have promised myself (before reading this) not to forget how HORRIBLE high schoool was. No matter how harmless and stupid a group of popular kids look to an adult, I this it's important to remember how vicious and invincible they were when you were a teenager.
For now though, I will try not to breed and keep doing what I'm doing: nerding out all day at a kickass job that pays somewhat more than McDonalds.
This essay proves exactly what I'm trying to say in a speech I'm doing for my AP English class. It is awesome and says what I've been trying to put into words for years.
Oh yeah, life goes on...long after the thrill of living is gone!
(just passed up my 20 year HS reunion invite - no reason to go)
Paul
I have experience from the nerd population, and the preppy population (I'd probably be one of the folks sitting at the "C" lunch table, and maybe "B" at one point)...It is all just a free-for-all in middle school, where we all kill each other (sometimes literally) just for kicks...
At 11 or 12, smart kids tended to either be generally popular or have other groups of smart kids to hang out with, not that there was any kind of elitism involved, but unpopular kids tended to be either the violent or the actually disabled.
Moving to highschool, social groups were more defined, but with no real heirarchy. People overlapping more than one stereotype tend to be at least as popular as any "specialist".
Still, as a general rule, people with some mild mental abnormality tend to be unpopular but it's the people who pick on them that are really ostricised.
My sympathies y'all, sounds awful.
Thanks for the great article - I will reread it several times to digest it fully.
Thank you so much!
p.s. The goths at my particular school seemed to be the most popular of all the groups. Who knew?!
i know what u guys mean, i hate being a nerd, see i used to be popular but i realised wat a bitch i was, so i left their group, but while i was popular, i was still secretly smart, so when i left, the only thing i had left was my intelligence! lol, ever since that i have been called a nerd! but like jimbob, i have a load of popular friendz that want me to fight them, but i'm not that person anymore, it sux because i could turn back but i dont want to turn ma back on edu! but also i am a christian now, so i cant be popular unless i give up on my religion and education. all those people call me a nerd, and its driving me crazy, because i could always turn around and bash their head in and be popular again, but i cant. sigh. i am not even that smart, i can remember the last time i got an a!!!
A TIP FOR EVERYONE;
ok, so i'm still in year 8, but think of it this way, its only 5 years! then afterwards, u will be sucessfull, if u hold on to education.
at the moment thats the ONLY thing keeping me from dropping out.
i never hated nerds when i was popular.
i only hated people that hated me.
but my "friends" always did.
i know how u feel now.
but i'm not turning back.
and thankyou to the very generous person who took the time to write this very inspriational story.
good luck EVERYONE
xoxo Jayde
I tend to be the loud nerd. I've made lots of friends, so I consider myself cool, but I am not in the "popular" crowd.
- nick , aus
i could totally understand where the writer is coming from.
and i am no miss popular myself. But what i have come to realise is that the more popular someone is and the more that person seems to "fit in" the more insecure he/she really is. because when you get right down to it, "nerds" and unpopular people are individual. Thats why they're so hated. And the fact they are so individual means they are comfortable enough in their own skin to be their own person and not blindly conform. hang in there guys (:
If someone had offered me the choice between dumbing down to be popular vs. being smart and unpopular, I'm pretty sure I would've stuck with the smart unpopular person I was through high school.
I had friends (a lot of "Can I borrow your notes?" friends in particular) but high school was lonely, a horrible time, and I didn't see beyond it at the time. I sincerely thought the world was like that and didn't know differently until college. I was so glad to be in college, and then out of school into adulthood.
I'd always secretly suspected that the "heavy responsibilities" adults kept telling me about came with a corresponding set of freedoms that weren't mentioned. And they do.
Maybe it's because I went to an Australian school (though I don't think that made much difference), but I only ever had one teacher that didn't care about us.
The reasons for separation seem about right, although I'd like to point out that many nerds (and geeks) are autistic (or something similar), and thus don't even have much social skill anyway.
Later in high school, my nerd friends and I started a band and soon rose to be leaders of the 'freaks' as you call them. We managed to ruin most of the popularity pyramid since the nerds and freaks soon made up a big enough section of the school to not care about the jocks and cheerleaders. We had formed our own society out of necessity.
However, those formative years in 7th and 8th grade had a horrible negative affect on my view of other people. I was automatically on the defensive toward anyone who seemed very social, good looking, or popular. Even after college sometimes I would catch myself thinking like this, even when the person was a genuinely good human being.
When I see things like the Columbine or Virginia Tech shootings, I have to wonder if those kids just didn't realize that this popularity system is not the real world, I know I didn't realize it at the time, and if you add affects of medications or disturbed mental state to the day to day torment, you can see how such horrible things can come about.
The good thing is, us nerds, if we survive, usually come out on top. I think parents can make a big difference, my parents, although totally NOT nerds in their high school days, constantly reminded me, it didn't matter. That it would be over in a few years and that none of these kids should have any affect on my self-worth. They helped me a lot.
If I ever have a child, I will make sure he is NOT part of the A Table, even if he could be, because, as you said I would have never traded my intelligence, my originality and creativity to fit into this system.
all in all,i can say that you compiled the facts pretty well and did a good job in representing them...alienating them from what you personally feel.
The school was Weston Agricultural College in South Africa.
I'm sorry, I just can't see this - many nerds and geeks are autistic? What evidence is for this? Autism is a spectrum disorder, and part of what that means is that the displayed behaviors are not different from 'normal' people but just exacerbated.
Seriously, where did that statement even come from?
this has to be the most amazing thing ive ever read !
ur amazing for getting through all that but not letting it blind you but instead letting it make u more aware abt what REALLY goes on
i reallly admire u and today i had my high school orientation
im a nerd - kinda awkward but up until eighth grade ive had my friends , my own little niche but now im going to high tech high school without all my freinds and im TERRIFIED! all day ive felt bleh and then i searched nerds on google - pathetic . i no - and this came up ... it made my terrible crappy day so much better - well now that i hav told u mylife story that u prob could care less abt i just wanted to say i really admire u and this article rocked and will prob get me through the future worst years of my life - and when i come out i hope i can as optimistically as u write abt it and help others get through it if u could please send me some sorta reply back !!!!???? that would be soooo amazing ... -kay
Society really is twisted. I guess I've never been that socially aware, just wore the clothes I liked, in some unconscious bravery. I was very quiet, and once wore a Guns 'n Roses shirt, got heavy comments on it, though one girl said she liked it. I had to bear the comments and all but I guess I have been pretty immune for what others thought. Maybe I have been relatively immune to social pressure in general. Only since a few years have I been building up some social awareness, it felt like I was applying my intelligence to get knowledge of that. But being 27 now, as I said, and working since a few years I think a lot of these strange rules still (sadly) apply to the adult world. Makes me think the office itself could be a 'fake' world like you describe high-school. Not to discourage anyone who reads this, it is a lot different, you're let to be more independent/on your own but this pressure keeps existing. People I think retain this school attitude. They trust each other not on intelligence but on social performance. It hasn't been this way during the several places I've been working but especially so in one unfortunate occasion. To conclude, about, I carry this idea for longer now, that there are two types of people (although there is a gradient): introvert and extravert. I read someone on a forum saying this difference was like that between man and woman; well I think it is even more essential and a bigger difference than that. And by the way I am speaking from the Netherlands here, fyi. To conclude, really, I so deeply and easily see why your story is optimistic (and why most poeple won't see that).
I just have to say that one of the most annoying things, is when people who are incredibly popular ask you for help on their homework. It's just proof of their shallow little world. It's one thing if they're going to talk to you later on, but it's entirely different if they want your help to save their grade and then ignore you later. They're entire existence is responsible to their social status, and I can only wonder how the hell they're supposed to function later on if they've never learned anything of value.
Thanks for this, though, it's important to address. Popular people are generally just very skilled liars, whether they realize it or not. The greatest question is, how do you bring to their attention a fairly complicated subject, when, thanks to their popularity, they've never done any work harder than deciding what to wear? They've already wasted so many brain cells, how can they grasp the depth (or shallowness) of their facade?
I read through all of that thinking "I'm the coolest hybrid of freak and nerd ever"
so much of relates to me I even find the time to fit it in to this comment.
I'm in a catholic school so the "right" clothes don't apply but on civies day its like seeing the world with giant signs attached to people giving them a number on the scale of how popular they are. Its odd though how you said the most horrible years are when your age 11-14 and my first years (8-10 1/2) I didn't even seem to notice the social structure that was in place, and therefore didn't quantify/care about my own rank of popularity. But even now I just shrug it off like an annoying flying that seems to be constantly buzzing around your ear. Anywho I have to sign off because i have prison to go to tomorrow, Cheers.
Nerds are not smarter or better than the people who pick on them. Largely, they lack social skills. Social skills are largely independent of reasoning skills. Being a nerd has little to do with opting out because you want to cure cancer rather than play football. It is a result of not having self confidence.
Nerds often do better after they leave school. One reason is that many nerds need to get out of their home environment. Another is that they do have their skills more appreciated in the adult world, which can develop confidence. Another is just that some people develop social skills later than others.
But the funny thing about being a nerd, myself included, is an undying sense of pride. In grade school I remeber getting made fun of, it raged on into junior high, but in high school everything changed. And as long as your not the I know it all nerd(dork) then you'll be fine.
Personally I started as a nerd and ended up as the among the coolest kids in high school. My trick was when ever the popularity came I shrugged it off, like it was nothing. Because it is nothing, its a waste of time, I took up music, now I play guitar, piano and the violin, finds something youre good at and stick to it
nerd
My statistics of people that make fun of others most are very insecure and come from poverty class people, they make fun of people to feel whole.
I was in school to better myself i did go to school to be popular.
My advice is to people is forgive and forget, most of those people do not even remember you.
Thank you so much, your a great writer
lets just go get some natty ice and chill. we can totally bro out broskie. bro, bro bro bro...you know what calms me down? listening to dave matthews
How many girls at your school prefer Firefly and Stargate:SG-1 to The Notebook?
*gag* I am one of few girls I know who hates her mother's favorite movies...
The World is not made for us, and I'm glad this essay shows that.
Anyways, nice job (typing a very long paper)!
--Nub and Chelinka
why?
because its not about being popular its about understanding social dynamics,
and tbh its not complicated. Read about it perform it and go on with your goal to be
smart.
finally!!
im 13 and have always why im depressed all the time,even though it never looks like i am . . .:c
but alot of things make more sence now
i have to read this a few times though
:c
thanks! <3
-yoli
power to you.
I have to say that in your table map at high school, I'd probably be on an A table.
Not trying to boast. I don't enjoy it.
I spend about two hours per day on my physical appearance and I don't always say what I personally actually think.
I'm starting to get sick of all the bitching and everything that goes on in the popular groups. I was wondering earlier what it would be like to ditch everybody - the footballers and the popular girls - and just spend one lunch sitting and eating by myself. Or maybe find someone who's often made fun of who's sitting on their own and sit with them. Chat with them for a bit, see what they really are like as a person.
Oops, this is turning into an essay too, now.
Best wishes.
Kristina.
However, at least in my case, this just meant that I had three jobs, because I refused to give up any element of my life in favor of another- my family, my schoolwork and my friends were each vying for my attention, and it was hard to keep up. I rarely let them intermingle. My parents did not really come to my softball games or musicals. They knew about them, but I did not force them to mix. I did technical things, like programming, at home where my friends would not have to watch. They knew that I liked it, but I did not want to talk about anything too specific because they would not like it. It was part of getting good at pleasing people. It was not that they would actively put me down because I liked to program- it was that they did not particularly enjoy it themselves, and I was not going to bore them.
This also meant that I could only be at the 'B' table, however that was a conscious choice. I did not want to have to lie about who I was, as I did during my short stint with the 'A' table, but I was also not really a nerd because the 'B' table had enough social power to stave off any attacks.
However, I agree that it was not the best for my personal development. I got in the habit of avoiding detailed discussions about anything technical. One of the biggest shocks I received in going to a technical college was the freedom of math. It felt like porn- and I am not exaggerating. It was a topic about which I thought all the time, but it absolutely forbidden to talk about out loud, at least in my circle.
Finally, I just wanted to say that I think that the need for popularity is the single largest deterrent to women in technical fields. You have to give up one or the other or do the perilous double major- which is very difficult. And, despite my love of programming and math, I have to say that, in high school, if I had to choose one or the other, I would have chosen popularity, at least enough to say off of the 'D' table. Call me sexist, but I think that this is a more likely choice for women in general, and it is a horrible choice to have to make.
tapped out.
they always humour us in a weird way which is lol
plus you get to brag if you beat a nerd on a test (which is easy)
and they cant brag back
the reason they are unpopular is because being smart might mean you lack athletisism or interests of cool stuff and hey this is coming from a twelve year old
I totally support you on this. I address this comment mainly to the nerds who are suffering in high school right now. It really can be different, and among kids too, not only among adults.
Most of my knowledge of American high school comes from American movies (I'm not from the U.S.). When I was watching all these movies (my freshman year in college) I was very surprised: schools in the U.S. look nothing like the school I went to. There was even no such notion as "popularity" there. OK, I admit it, my school was a Math one, but anyway, I've got a brother who went to a more usual school, and he didn't show any signs of suffering from any sort of a popularity system. In my school it was like this: the smarter you are, the more respect you gain from your peers. I got better grades than most of my friends, and yet it didn't make me their enemy. At first I simply didn't understand, I didn't even believe that things can be upside down somewhere. I thought that those movies' authors were just kidding that way. Now I see that it is actually true. I'm saying this so that you know: it really can be different. And not only in special schools. When I was 12 I still went to a usual school. Then I went to a special math school. And I didn't want to go there, even though I love math. I didn't want to lose all my friends from the old school. And please note that I was the smartest and I was among the worst on the football field. I was friends with those best on the football field, they respected my skills at math, and I also respected those things they were good at (football, basketball etc.). I might say we even envied each other a bit, but only a bit.
You being nerds is in fact a great luck, and you will see it sooner or later. Please, please don't change! Stay smart, stay individual, stay different. Maybe I'm too young myself to give you advice about your lives (I'm 21), but take my word that now I'm happy I'm a nerd. The laws of "real life" are created by people like you, the most successful people are like you. Try not to hate your tormentors: your reward is coming, their times will end soon )
I always liked hanging out with the older kids and the cool pot smokers who didn't take themselves so seriously... I met all of them outside of school.
After High School I took a break and worked my job, smoked pot, tripped on LSD, drank beer, and intently wandered aimlessly for 7 years. Now that I have my self esteem and social anxiety issues solved, I can't wait to go back to college and get my business degree... and get laid. ;-)
P.S. Fuck the popular kids in highschool, it doesn't work that way in real life. I am so much cooler than anybody I know now. Also you'll realize that what is popular is usually stupid as hell. I mean, come on, have you seen MTV in the daytime lately? That's what the popular kids watch. Do you really want to be them? You don't have to be popular to get girls or have fun. You can have it all with those wonderful brains of yours.
And teachers definitely do NOT make the system better. Parents either. One of my science teachers gave me a 'F' on a project because others in my group slacked off. We were the group of outcasts. He gave the group next to us, a group of pretty blondes with short-shorts, a 90, 'B'. I asked if there was anything I could do to bring it up, given that I had done my part of the assignment... he said, "No." The girls besides us complained to him once and he gave them an 'A' instead. Bullshit much? Did he give them that grade because they looked and were in the popularity circle?
I wish that teens were not pushed into a popularity hierarchy, but that is indeed what happens. If only change would occur, but when would that happen in a world so quickly degrading?
One of the main reasons teachers and adults (who you so wonderfully grouped together as one group, in my opinion one of the flaws in this article) seem to egsasurbate the situation is because they throw around clichéd lines, I'm sure you've all heard the type of thing i mean, without really thinking deply into them, and as a young person, you don't delve on these sayings, thing's like "be yourself" have only recently begun to make sense to me, valuable morals are cramped into a few sayings that are commonly thrown round, alot of the time by people who haven't thought about them themselves.
Like many problems, the situation of unpopular smart people or nerds, is caused by common ignorance. The reason this ignorance is existant almost everywhere you go is simply because there is no drive or need to not be.
Also, I feel comprehensive schools can never cater to everyones needs or skills, the type of intelligence they can measure is very narrow, people cannot always give the best of themselves in writing, which is how schools test pupils in almost all cases. It takes a different type of intelligence for example to be win an election, it is not always the party with the cleverest leader or the best manifesto who wins, it is simply the party which the public likes best for whatever reason, much like thesituation you've described in schools.
I apologise for the way this has been written, I havent had a chance to read it back, and my family call me for dinner, and i am one of those who cannot articulate themselves very well in writing.
Because the government schools were DESIGNED to be free precisely from this "pressure."
Because the parents' money is TAKEN from them, mostly in property taxes, and then appropriated by the government to run the schools, the parents have NO power. The schools are socialist. The market has been disabled in the case of government schools.
The government schools were imported by American socialists from socialist Prussia. They were always INTENDED to undermine the bond between parent and child, and to undermine the society that had formed naturally in America.
The most powerful, malign, and longest-running HOAX in U.S. history is "the public school." It is a hoax because this massive socialist enterprise, which runs counter to everything truly American, has managed by more than a century of propaganda, to convince the majority of Americans that "without our public schools, our country will fracture, breaking down into warring factions."
Schools, public and private, are NOT designed to meet the needs of children.
PARENTS are designed to meet the needs of children. Homeschooling--TRUE homeschooling, not imitation at home of what goes on in schools--is based on NATURE. With homeschooling, male children have both a male and female teacher and a male role model for father, husband, complete male human being, female children have a female and male teacher, and a female role model for mother, wife, and complete female human being.
Homeschooling is an unfortunate name for a Fully Functioning Family. It's a negative word, like "horseless carriage." It's "school"--but at school. A Fully Functioning Family should not define itself by the negative fact that the children are "not in school."
The NATURALNESS of a fully functioning family is what the ideologue socialist gender-benders HATE. They hate life, they hate nature, they hate marriage, they hate the family. And 90% of American children are spending six to eight hours a day inside this statist, socialist, unnatural system.
I am sorry for my bad english.
it's sad how the minority (nerds) is seen so badly from the majority (the more popular kids).
if you ask me, I think that having intelligence or doing some productive thing, should get much more credit than wearing cool sunglasses or talking dirty like a bastard. the last things don't make you a significant person, sorry. at least not for someone with an average IQ or more.
but people, especially teenagers, are not interested in knowledge or doing something good, but in coolness and how to attract bitches. yes, it's true.
well, I'm 23, so I have understood these things now, at least. some other people don't (or don't want to).
what a read it's just so true
How do you know you are exactly the third most popular kid in school and the second smartest? Did you and your friends take a poll or something? How very nerdy/popular of you.
And where are you getting your rankings? How do you know that you're the "third most popular kid" in school and "the second smartest"? I assume that some sort of popularity contest could be used to determine popularity rankings, but how are you quantifying "smartness"? Do you have the highest GPA? The highest IQ? Tested highest in your class on the PSAT? What's the standard and what's the curve?
Which all adds up to making me question your veracity in saying that you're the second "smartest" kid in your school, or makes me wonder how "smart" the kids at your school can actually be.
NERD - OFF!!!
my friends and i sit in the 'a' section even though we probably belong in the 'b' or 'c' haha
but we do have lots of friends in the cafe so its ok
I think the part about suicide is very true. I once made a list brainstorming methods of suicide and listing the advantages and disadvantage, after researching for a few months. After I decided which method to use, I decided I was too cowardly to kill myself. Well, I realized that even though my life is screwed up, I still can make a difference to this world someday. Hopefully.
You wanna be such a show off!!
It's weird, comparing me now and me then, I am much less nerdy and I have many more friends. I've all but discarded my nerd label that I was addressed by for three years, over the course of one year. The best part is, I retained my inelegance. I'm no longer a nerd, but I'm no were near popular, or at least I don't think. I've moved from the D table to the C table, I may actually be closer to a B then a C.
However, like I said I retained my inelegance. As you said the nerds have to find it within themselves, I know I did. And if these "nerds" try hard enough, they can have both: Smarts, and popularity. Your popularity may not be at the top of the social ladder, but it is a huge step above what you had before.
Again, an excellent read.
However, as soon as I got to High School, popularity became irrelevent because there were so many social groups that they all had about the same amount of people. It was only the Tam-O-Kids (school slang for rich kids derived from the gated community where they lived) that controlled the ASB and were considered 'popular' by the common definition.
My other partial objection in here is regarding academics, at least in science fields, right now I am just finishing up my degree in biochemistry and genetics and I am about to go to Oxford to do research for a brief time before I (hopefully) enter a graduate program to continue my studies in biochemistry. I've done a good deal of research in genetics and neurology for an undergraduate student, have authored a publication and been to a conference... the point of all of this isn't to say how well I've done, but more that I am pretty well networked among biochemists, geneticists and a few other science academics... and while being nerdy may be exaggerated (I know this well, after making and telling a few too many jokes about my research)... but, at least among professors it seems like charisma is becoming ever increasingly important. You're expected to be nerdy and weird, but also have a somehow magnetic personality... it's sort of an interesting dichotomy.
What boosted my confidence is when my father bought me my first vehicle, if it were not for that i would be down, also working with my big sister helped me see that light i gotta let the bad people from my past go.
I have seen some of classmates from school the majority of them do not have cars, if they have a car it is almost twenty years old. Having material things helps self esteem to a certain extent, when you are doing good you do not have the time to worry about people that are not helping you achieve your goals i put those school years behind me. I realize that was in school to get a education, not to be cool.
sometimes i regret it.
One is that we aren't hot.
The other is that nerds don't need to be "fixed". I can walk and talk and dress myself and clean up the bathroom, flush the toilet, make dinner, find and keep a job. I don't spend the entire day in my underpants playing Xbox eating Triscuits and Wispride. I don't need to find a Mom to take care of me. I can't be molded and shaped and turned into something that she can look at and say, "what a good person am I, that I turned this uncultured brute into a human being."
it might sound horribly insensitive and believe me i do feel bad for those that died, but for me the best part of my school life was after columbine i was a nice quiet kid who took a lot of shit and after that people were a bit afraid to push me because of what might happen.
also this is damn insightful, i want to make every kid read it once a year from age 10 to 15 (yeah i know hard enough getting the average kid to read a paragraph let alone this whole thing) it might give some youth like i was hope (and trust me i felt pretty hopeless at times. having my throat cut open and bike vandalized were 2 of the more minor things that happened) and show bully's a reason to be nice to nerds.
I can honestly say that after 10 years of constant harrassment and emotional and physical torment (combined with extreme religious views hoisted on me by parents that it was the Christian thing to never fight back) that the massacre at Columbine made the assholes at least afraid to try to break me, and it definitely made life bareable after I had gone through so much.
BECAUSE you're not popular, it forces you into developing some kind of other strength, like "intelligence".
Everyone need something to pride themselves of. If you cannot pride yourself of being good looking, funny or social, then one option is to adapt a "nerd" image.
Also...... I disagree with the notion that nerds are REALLY intelligent. They are just more reflected in certain areas, in terms of having spent more time than other people pondering about certain things.
I don't think most nerds have any genetic advantages that them making them more intelligent. I think it's mostly a self taught thing... achieved by focusing wery strongly on certain subjects.
If you live in California, there is a test called the CHSPE that you can take after your sophomore year in high school. If you pass you can go to college two years early. You will probably end up going to community college, but community college is much better IMO. Generally you can transfer to a four-year university from there.
If you live in California, there is a test called the CHSPE that you can take after your sophomore year in high school. If you pass you can go to college two years early. You will probably end up going to community college, but community college is still much better than high school. Generally you can transfer to a four-year university from there.
When I was in high school I was never really picked on but I it was a pretty miserable experience. I think I sort of kept to myself and dressed in a way that conformed enough so that nobody noticed me. I used to try to take so many extra classes that I didn't have a lunch period. I think I was only in the cafeteria for a full lunch period once in all four years. The semester I had a lunch my art teacher let me stay in his room and paint.
Now that I'm teaching I sometimes wonder how I can actually make the experience better for my kids. It is hard though, I get so overwhelmed with trying to plan decent lessons and keep the class running smoothly that it is tough to really know what is going on in their world. I have to admit I'm pretty far removed from understanding their social lives, but I guess I was removed from the social scene when I was a student too. I think it is even tougher because the students I teach are from a very different socio-economic background than I grew up in and I don't always understand their culture.
I really do feel like a prison warden sometimes. I have to be really strict or they try to walk all over me, especially since I'm pretty young. I’m 26 but the first day they thought I was a student. It is a battle just to get them to put any effort into their class work. It may be compounded by the fact that some of my colleagues let them get away with not doing much. The truth is most of them don't care about what I'm teaching. Of the 150 students I taught this year, I could count on my fingers the kids with a sincere interest in art. I'm hoping some will appreciate it when they get older but to be realistic, I know they don't need to know about impressionism and cubism to succeed in their future. I think as a teacher I need to work on being more understanding, but taking on all their issues and the social system is a lot of work. This year at my school there were seven fights in one day. I had a kid put his fist through a glass window because someone teased him – it was the last straw on the anniversary of his mother’s death. It is a really tough world and it is hard to know how to help.
The comments about Columbine were really sad. I can remember at my school we had a bomb threat a few days after it and everyone started talking about this one girl because she wore a trench coat to school. I have to say though, however much you may be picked on, it is really disturbing to hear anyone taking about reaping benefits from such a tragedy.
High school is rough for everyone. I started letting one girl stay in my room at lunch this year because she said she didn't have anyone to sit with. By the end of the year I had about five kids in there that I couldn't get rid of them. Sometimes I don't know what advice to even give them, except that they will get through it.
I think you're absolutely right, even though I don't live in America's conditions in the ins and outs of coolness, but I know what it feels like to be a nerd. You feel like crying, but then again, I had an outer shell so no one really cared about me. Because, you see, I moved schools. My first school, I was really popular everyone was really nice to me. The next school, we had four classes, 2 were the normal ones, the other two were the really smart people, they came from different schools across New South Wales. Only 160 people got in. I was assuming everyone would be nice to me and I would be nice to them, but I seemed wrong, some people there liked swearing, it seemed that swearing was 'cool'. I didn't like it so I kept away from that group. And that's the end of the story. But I have some advice to people who are picked on with friends. Like, you're just crossing the grounds of your school and these random people come and start teasing you and your friends. It's unfair because your outnumbered. 8 to 3. Join your group together with another group and then it's a lot harder for people to pick on you if you have back up. But how do you join? I know this going to sound like lying but it works. Agree with all the people. You can sometimes disagree if it's something small but agree big-time. Then once you've known all about the other person, bring everyone who likes the same thing (such as if some people like cats) to the movies or something about the cat. Now that you have some other friends, rejoin your original group, and the people who like cats will follow you and the people who like the people that like cats will have to join you to. Actually, don't follow this piece of advice, it only sometimes works.
after reading both I think nerds in scholl can be defined as a kind of unconscious rebels against the meaningless show business culture that pervades our culture. cheers from brazil.
Maybe - if I remember - I can come back and read the whole thing. I probably won't, I'll probably forget it forver, but I'll never forgret the time it was neat to remember...that one time right now.
Thank you! Always don't write!
Unless you're old or dead, in which case I missed you by only a decade.
Albert Einstein
Thanks for writting it, quite enjoyable!
If you enjoy doing well at school, keep it up. Don't worry about being popular, it's mostly a confidence thing rather than how well you're doing at school. The less you care about what people think of you, the more popular you will become.
I too, am a nerd, very smart in many aspects especially computers, and although im 'higher-up' than most nerds as I have not alot but enough confidence to get through the day, this essay really helped me understand that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that school is nothing more than a holding place for the "important" people to do their work.
Schools tell you stuff and you repeat it back to them, don't be fooled, this is not intelligence.
Homer: "So then we played Dungeons and Dragons for 5 hours... then my character was slain by an elf."
Bart: "Listen to yourself man, you're hanging with nerds."
Homer: "What? You take that back! Nerds are my worst enemy!"
Marge: "Homer those kids are nice people but they're obviously nerds."
In that same episode, Homer decides to give the nerds at his college a hard time so he makes fun of them in front of a jock (who is actually a nerd). And that's just one show.
So yeah, much as I hate the public school system and the fact that a lot of your theories are sound, with pop culture making fun of nerds and even making shows that are made to make fun of people for being smart (Family Matters anyone?), then it's no wonder nerds are unpopular.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=20868191465
It's about time that people starting realising (or admitting) that school is effectively worthless as real-life preparation. I would hazard that I've now forgotten around 50% of the education I had, and I'm only a year removed from year 13 (17-18 years old). It's undoubtedly because it will not help me in the slightest when I'm older to be able to, for example, bisect an acute angle using a compass, unless I go into mathematics - and even then I can't think of a useful application of it.
Jammer has it spot on - temporarily being able to recall facts about historical wars and recent literature and the photosynthesis process is not intelligence. Intelligence is about grasping concepts and forming ideas and opinions, not using memory. In the real world, it is usually better to be skilled at a job rather than intelligent - just look at footballers or movie stars - but intelligence can help you adapt, it just can't really be taught.
One thing I think this essay missed that seemed a bit obvious to me is why the real, grown up world is more hospitable to nerds. Surely it is because, in the real world, nerds can be appreciated because of the skills they bring. In schools, other kids couldn't care less about a nerd being able to program software, but to a software company, it's vital. A nerd suddenly becomes a valuable commodity when you have a technological need or problem, but high school kids don't need to think that way. A typical high school kid is more in reverance of a guy who can hit a ball well than a guy who can do advanced calculus.
Shame, really, that school can't at least teach kids perspective.
bob.
a.
Also, what on earth is a kidult?
Thanks.
Thanks you for your words, i wont forget them.
Great essey.
This essay makes no sense on so many levels it's scary. You're writing about what other disgruntled nerds want to hear. Stating blatantly (the opposite of tactfully) that nerds are superior without exception to all other high school stereotypes because they didn't like the way people treated them in school is silly.
You're just an angry child yourself because now that you have the ears of those within your community you cast bad light on those you don't like based on the fact that people like - but not neccessarily them - didn't like you when you were young.
Still, I am considered a genius, along with a lot of other kids who are extremely smart. This essay seems like it's purpose is to encourage stereo-types, which is totally against why it was even made, as you stated.
"Popular" kids are the ones who are a lot of fun, no matter how they look, if their athletic, if their smart, etc. If you are boring, or anti-social... well, you claim nerds are smart. That they can beat the "system", but choose not to. If you act like you absolutely despise everyone and everything around you, or if you dont even want to have friends or be outgoing, yes, I think it's obvious you'll become an easy target to your peers. They will say anything about you, for reasons even you stated.
My point is, if you claim all of that is true, then why the hell are you saying it over again? We know this, we know what we're doing to our "world". (Even though we really dont).
And on how school is worthless? Screw you, if you really were on of the smart kids who are fueled by nothing else other than increasing human understanding, you would know that school is what taught you to read, write, and handle social situations which you obviously still haven't learned how to. While sure, you'll forget half of it, it increases your academic/athletic/social skills in general, which is very helpful later on in life.
If you want to create things, then you know that you'll be in school all your life, learning how to create w/e you want to create. In case you haven't noticed, every generation has taken the ideas of it's former, and made them better. Advancing human technology, evolution, w/e you want to call it, those adults need us, and they EXPECT us to create a world that only the good can envision.
Summed up, you have no idea how to live, man. :)
But on the bright side, you HAVE inspired me. >:)
I believe this essay will be helpful to my son - who is surprise, surprise - away at computer camp. Geek heaven. But he has lots of other interests, too - and a ton of friends! Especially now that he has left public school.
BTW, Miss genius, Kim, you may wish to note the differing spellings of "their" and "they're" and their correct usages. If you feel free to speak so disparagingly of another it may be wise to be quite unassailable in your own perfection first.
At any rate, thank you for your unique and well thought out words. They moved me towards compassion and clarity. And I learned a few cool new vocabulary words as well.
Aw, Im so sorry I mispelled a few words which even a brain like yours can point out.
But Im guessing, since that's all you could point out...
that you failed to realize what points my view made.
As will plenty of others, unfortunately, who tend to believe what comes more readily to mind.
I am sorry I was so flip when responding to you. I felt disturbed by some of your comments as they seemed to illustrate just what he was talking aobut. Some kids don't choose to be anti-social or to be "not out-going". they don't know how to do it well! They enjoy thinking about difficult topics or reading literature or doing math more than chatting about the latest movie, etc, etc.
It would be a great joy if kids could accept all the differing types of people who are out there. Everyone has worth and if you look deep enough you may be surprised how interesting they are as well as how much to offer they have.
As you get older, making the world a better place becomes a real and urgent priority. Being kind even when it is easier and more convenient not to be can be an ideal worth striving for.
YOu suggest that school increases your ability to socialize, use academic skills and become more athletic. Having been out of school for many years I can tell you that my academic, social AND athletic skills increased greatly after school was over and I got to discover what I really enjoyed and was good at.
Again, I am sorry if I trivialized what you had to say. Its just that speaking aobut a "world the good can envision" in one sentence and then flippantly telling someone "they don't know how to live" seems a bit confusing.
Maybe his and your definitions of living well are very different. For that better world to come aobut we all need to envision that that is OK. (The being different that is)
The bureaucratic options could be explored, but they are remarkably bleak. The system is maximally efficient for a modern industrialized society. We could provide two tracks, so that the brightest ones aren't wasting their time. This is basically what is happening already, and it is a very very good idea. We get the short term payoff of the prison-system, and the long term payoff of still educating the best and brightest.
But at rock bottom, this is just an improved compromise. I have continued to treat it as an economic problem. It is a moral problem too.
This is my take on it. Modern history has seen humans insulate themselves from nature, create their own tools, and set their own terms, and things are good. Things are so good that there are few real points of contact with nature left for most of us. But breeding remains as that one deep point of contact. Raising children is kind of a dirty business where ethical compromises are made for the greater good. Before civilization, where nature ruled, everything was a rather dirty business.
We could instead be amazed at our ingenuity that we have found a viable way to have a specialized industrialized society and still raise sufficient children (not an easy accomplishment, look at Europe).
One thing I do, tremendously agree on, and something I realized in the last year of my high school education - that is, last year - is that, yes. We are bored because our work has no effect, and no value. I haven't got a job yet - I'm still recovering. In my case, this means actually trying to gather enough energy, strength and above all confidence to discard the defensive mechanisms I developed through childhood and school. It isn't all from my time at school, but I know that a significant part of it is.
Good luck trying to convince people to change things, though. Oh, this leads to another thing I wanted to point out. The American false-world of school systems? It's fed into the American false-world of adult life as well. Anyone who's paying attention will have noticed that American and Americanized (the influence goes far, far beyond borders, believe me - I'm actually Canadian. It works the same way there. I recently moved to Australia. It works the same way here) politics fast becomes a popularity contest. Why? Because adults are not immune. And, the kids who devoted their lives to being the top of the popularity contest at school continue to use the "skills" they learned outside of it - and become the top of the pack, or one of various packs, from the local to the national or international level, outside, not by making intelligent choices or even necessarily being competent - but by making themselves popular with the group.
I'll quit ranting now. I'd love a response, though. If anyone wants to contact me and chat more about this, my email is serpentstare@gmail.com.
I really love the freedom that homeschooling gives to be able to "work for yourself" without the pressures of a useless society. It doesn't squelch social skills. Quite the opposite. Homeschooling allows students more time to interact with real people in the real world.
Anyway, thank you for the very interesting read!
I tell everyone this because just because you are picked on in elementary school or high school doesn't mean that is what you have to be today. You have more power than you realize. A high school teacher once told me something profound. He told our class "for those of you who bully the "nerds" in class, have your fun for a few years because eventually when you have put on fifty pounds and are no longer cool. They will have the hot wives and you will be working for them, wishing you were them."
I use Facebook, and I have to say it's incredibly depressing at times. Just because I don't have things like "getting drunk at bars", "reality TV", "cars" or sports listed down as interests, it makes it very difficult to make friends. There's always a kind of cut-off point reached during any period of interaction with another person.
Being without friends I can do with. Having to give up the girls as well, that I can't deal with.
You really put into words whats been on the tip of my tongue about the world around me for a long time.
I'm 40 years old, and it's still the same. The real world is even crueler.
They are isolated, so they can't defend themselves, nobody taking their side.
Beware, young nerds, it won't get better ! You better unite, nerds of all countries, or the popular will ban you from the playground, that is, the real world.
I do not live in the USA, nor do I go to school there.
Yes, I am still in high school(the question must have been in your mind, because of my previous sentence).
But I fully agree with this thesis. I am dutch, and high schools are a bit different here.
While I am neither a 'nerd' nor a 'freak', I think myself as a mix of both or something.
I am a outcast by choice, well I did, but somehow I picked up a group of friends who were all upperclassmen, while I am not.
We here do not really have 'these groups'. For one, sports, are not that big of a specialization here. Nor is bodybuilding.
You have your own kinds of groups, these are not exclusively nerds, freaks or such. Even though its more likely that they'l group toghetter(common interests)..
Sadly due to lack of time I have to cut this response short.
I'l continue this response another time.
(Points to self) Nerd.
I agreed with a lot of what you said.
Simply Brilliant..
Your pictures look much like my own high school year book. Strange world we lived in (and strange world our children live in!). I've absconded with my own children. I'm homeschooling them in the hopes that they'll grow up to understand more about the world than whether they're a "nerd," "jock," "stoner," or "preppy." Oh, yeah I'm out of date on my terminology - I don't even know what these groups are the kids are talking about in previous comments
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im here for your enlightenmen;
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
I think that you should find out something about the author of this article.
By most criteria, he would not be considered a "narrow minded failure". Try to "just fucking google" "Paul Graham".
Kind Regards
Dude your a complete idiot, shut up and move on. if you didnt like it, dont bother it. and swearing a lot only shows that you have a very limited vocabulary
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
Nerds are unpopular because there is a considerable about of alienation caused by being smart... some hostility, some misunderstanding
When I understand something.. it is almost patronizing to actually HAVE to describe why it makes sense to another person, being smart is.. albeit lacking in logic... insulting
Often times, for me anyway, I feel like I'm not intelligent, everyone else is dumb, and it is very frustrating to understand something, to be able to pull stuff out of my head at the speed of light, and to see others confused at some of the simplest task and problem. Some people end up forming frustrations and... not understanding the extent of which one doesn't understand, can actually patronize, and insult another for acting as if they are "that slow". Standing in a room full of r-tards is very frustrating, and a true test of patience for both groups, the nerds and the norms, it may not be "jealousy", or "envy", quite frankly its hostility and it is anger from the illogical emotional misunderstanding.
I'm in 9th grade....and I'd say I'm somewhere in the middle of the social ladder...I mean, I'm not popular because I'm not known by everyone....if I was..I'm pretty sure I would be..in our school, being 'famous' is synonymous with being popular.....and I'm not known because I don't want to be...'cause that would involve wearing truckloads of makeup everyday and wearing skirts about 1/2 a foot in length ( a little exaggeration maybe, but not much)This doesn't mean everyone who's popular is an airhead...I have a couple of friends who're really well known..and they're good people who're also smart.....I wouldn't mind being like them, except I'm not sure HOW.....because the social positions have been established already, and changing that is not the easiest thing in the world.
I have a feeling that this article is just special pleading by someone who was a traumatised outcast in high school and has made his way in the "real world" by taking the opportunity of graduation to avoid it entirely and permanently.
I figure it is only a matter of time before his C average leads him to further poor decisions. I was probably one of his most capable employees; unfortunately at his learning rate it will take him 3 times longer to realize it :)
High school is very similar to real life. Believe it or not, popularity is still a deciding factor in the workplace. But that person had to be something or do something to get to that point.
To call the high school quarterback dumb and ignorant is ignorant itself. Stereotypes do not always rule the world as most people think. Brooding over failures in high school will get you nowhere Jen. Maybe you should be more personable and less stuck-up about your "impressive intelligence".
Your essay is the first essay ive read thats been written by a person whos graduated highschool and college and manages to sound decent to a highschooler. Most essays ive read usually tries to belittle youth culture, or try to explain one thing but end up saying something completely bogus.
You forgot to mention though that there are ways that nerds can actually beat the system and still manage to be smart, be praised for it, and yet still manage to be one of the most popular kids. I know its seems kind of like a movie thing but it does happen. Usually these "super teens" don't usually share how they did it because they don't others to do what they did so the original popular kids wouldn't start thinking "hey too many nerds are becoming popular, we gotta stop this."
In my school, the gangsters and b-boys are at the top of the popularity game. Well growing up i was a nerd, from grade 1-9. But then i started hanging out with an old friend of mine who happened to be transfering to my school and yes he was a gangster. Once everyone saw me with him they were like : "Yo man you chill with that guy? say word, didnt know you got deadly connections like that" and i was instantly popular yet still managed to pull a 94 average in gr10. There are other ways that nerds can do a popular leap but in our culture, you're not supposed to tell adults anymore than they need to know and you don't tell them anything that they can use to ruin your society.
I think that instead of sitting at the unpopular and popular tables,people should sit together for there hobbies.
One that I had considerable enjoyment reading.
I can definitely relate to the author and the trials faced in high school.
I think I faced even more scrutiny than normal as I was a dancer and chorister as well as an academic who just happened to be good at sports.
I was a bit of an enigma and lot of Aussie males didn't know how to take me.
I totally agree that hormones have become the new excuse for inexcusable behaviour. Still, the education of morals and values must fall on the parents. The schooling system is to teach us many things, but if we can't learn the fundamentals of life and relationships from our parents, then schools have very little to work with.
Thank you once again for a very good read.
P.S. If anyone else from MACAT posts a comment, put MACAT Rules! (cause it does and you know it!)
Having said that, I did read the entire essay, and I do agree wholeheartedly with the conclusions about the sort of society modern Western secondary schools create within them. I worry about my daughter, who is a bit like me, but at present (at age 9) she is popular and respected by her peers. If only that situation survives...
You've just solved something that I have been pondering for the last couple of years. I'm british and well ,a nerd but was actually pretty well liked at my secondary school, but I just couldn't figure out why people like me were so hated in american schools.
If its OK I'd like to suggest this to some friends of mine, they may enjoy reading this and pass it on
remember my name for it will be important some day