Wow. I am glad that I wasn't raised in an American school. In my high school (located in Scandinavia) we didn't seem to have this problem. Everyone socialised with everyone, you could strike up a conversation with anyone. Smart kids were envied and often asked for advice and help with homework.
I look at these American films where everyone is obsessed with prom and I think to myself.. the media and film industry is brainwashing these children. If they weren't constantly showed these materials they probably wouldn't have this obsession.
My advice - move to Europe.
isolateme
· 4 months ago
You lucky s.o.b......
Miriam
· 5 months ago
Dear author, having been a nerd for all my school time I've seen everything you described here but I could never explain the why. Meanwhile I've learned a lot about social psychology and educational science but I've never managed to meet someone who could rationalize to me the phenomenon of nerds in such a complete way you did in this essay. Thank you so much! I really adore you for it. Please allow me to quote extracts from it on any ocasion! Lots of Love, Miriam from Germany
P.S. Be reassured that nerds are not only an american phenomenon. They exist in Europe too.
bluesky
· 10 months ago
This article helped me more than anyting else I have been looking for since past six months. People call me nerds all the time, especially those I thought were supposedly my friends. They called me teachers' pet and even nominated me in the yearbook for that. When I found myself into this covoluted maze trying ot gasp onto the mediocrity of the social life, i started devaulate my education and tried to be more popular by wearing new clothes and buying new shoes. This was totally a WRONG idea. My GPA has dropped due to my poor participation in classroom and lack of doing my homeworks. I have been working streneously for the past three years and being a valedictorian, I felt as if I earned nothing, only contept and mouthful of ridicules. However, this article had changed my life as I read it last night. Many of my past time stories storngly corelates what the author writes and it solved the knot that was entangled into my mind for such a long time. My suggesstions are to the nerds, are that never associate yourselves with the wrong crowds but consider yourself as smart by ignoring others and infact dont lose self-esteem and be yourself. At the end of the day, its you who will have to walk the road not them who are ridiculing your appearance or your lack of social participation in the lunchrooms. Now, after reading the article I feel that nothing has helped me better than these paragraphs the author wrote. I have learnt lesson, and others shoudl learn it as well. Thanks for your contribution. I believe it will help others just like me.
braktos
· 10 months ago
Blam, I've been suspecting this kind of thing for a while. Yesterday, I got told to shut up by this asshole who talks a lot and is a big athletic idiot. I hadn'y even talked 25% of his words and I got told to shut up. There has to be a rebellion, the top extroverts must be killed. The hyposrisy is that a smart kid who can't do the same thing as the dumb kid. I hate that kind of BS. It's the same as letting a person with an IQ of 80 pass gas anywhere just because he's extroverted and popular, yet the engineer who creates a monumental bridge has to fart in a designated zone (His own home) just because he isn't a sports star. When I went to Italy, there were no kids in the city. I only saw about 4 kids the entire time I was there, seriously, and I was there for a month. It was all either 40 year olds or college students. I've never seen a childless couple in the suburbs, the author is correct. The enitire list suburban somplexes of the world are meant to make kids. There's nothing in suburbia asides from houses, forest paths (if you're lucky), more houses, a community pool, which is run by lifeguards who are really just big kids that still have all the problems of regular kids. I'm a smart kid, I'm 15 and am taking an AP class. I'm passing with an 84%, and I don;t see how knowing how to graph a parabola helps you with a real job. Adults use computers for everything. I could go on and on, but I gotta stop now.
Dude
· 10 months ago
Hey guys time goes on but concept remains now I'm twice your age and guess what even if you don't wear specs and look good as soon as people know your smarter they 1st wanna kill you(if the right given) 2nd they wanna get read of you 3rdif they cant do the above mentioned and you continue to read they're thoughts they evade you or talk shit behind your back
don't want to be your friend for sure.
joe
· 10 months ago
I absolutley love how tasteful and elegant the nerds are writing their comments, and then you will see one like " LOL, fuck u nerds, im totalie smary AND popular. lol rofl fuck lol peace" Really, how counter-productive can you be?
Kyle
· 8 months ago
YA.... I am like super smart, w/ a high IQ and Im in 3 AP's rite now, but I dont talk super formal like u guys do. Not ridiculing, just pointing it out. I guess what I mean is, I am a smart guy, who is semi-normal, but I prefer to act on my powerful emotions, from all the hormones. YET, I AM STILL A NERD!!!!! I think it is impossible to get ahead in the system. Essentially, people like u and me are years, maybe even a decade ahead of the humor, interests, and other such areas of life of the jocks. It is this, the mind of an adult in the body of a teenager, with other teenagers with the minds of teenagers, that makes life so shitty.
Robin
· 10 months ago
I read this a couple of years ago when things were truly horrible for my son. They have mellowed a bit but still not great. I wish there were points given for each time I said YES to a point in this essay. Obviously, my teenage years are ancient history, but the facts weren't any different a few decades earlier. Please extend my gratitude to the author. A Mom and Old Nerd :-)
Doesntmatter
· 10 months ago
I thank you for sharing this.
sarahwalker
· 10 months ago
ha ha! about time someone wrote something positive about being a nerd. this article was really enlightening, and offers fresh ideas.
Element99
· 10 months ago
Sadly, this article is also accurate in describing the breakdown that occurs in adult workplaces in the absence of strong leadership and tangible goals. In other words, the problem doesn't go away (but it becomes much easier to leave).
Success of any organizational structure relies on three pillars: 1) adequate resources; 2) strong, responsible leadership; 3) worthwhile goals.
In the absence of these three pillars, things start to degenerate quickly.
cody
· 2 years ago
Honestly Marco, you are oblivious. First of all, you obviously aren't one of the nerds or "smarter popular people" at your school. You use "your" instead of "you're", and "there" instead of "their". "Cause"... what is this, third grade? I am a nerd, take multiple AP classes, and am on varsity in sports; however, this does not change the fact that I am a nerd. The activeness in extracurricular activities does not decide who is a nerd...being more active just gives us more time to be mocked. The popular teenagers at my school only dabble in AP classes...two if they wish to be "daring". Having only two AP classes and A- in everything is incredibly less challenging than six AP classes with 98% in everything. I realize what you are. You are neither the nerd nor the "smart" popular teenagar. You are the middle-class rank that is in the lower fiftieth percentile, tearing down those below you in the social hierarchy.
tiffany
· 2 years ago
the first thing i thought about when i read your comment was 1 corinthians 8:2 (And if any man think that he knoweth anything, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.)
Benthenerd
· 1 year ago
Hi, i am 14 (slap bang in the middle of my nadir) and i suppose i am a nerd (thats why i am typing this). I totally agree with your essay. I don't get bullied or anything, but life is a miserable peice of crap. Any effort to end up on the class A canteen table will be completly useless in the real world. So will doing well in tests or shining teachers apples. Whatever effort i make in any direction is pointless. The only thing to do is be bored, and wait it out. Another 3 years, it will drive me crazy. Anyway thats my inside opinion.
On a more positive note you would think succesfull adults (who were once nerds)would atempt to change the system. I live in England and all i ever hear from them is "Try your best, don't do drugs... E.T.C". None of it means anything.
From an economic point of view it would be a great advantage to ensure that supernerds get the best and quickest education possible, then throw them into the real world to exel at what they do. As for the dumber ones they would get almost no education and spend the rest of their lives doing the manual jobs that are currently reserved for teenagers. They could form a perfect society where everyone has his/her place.
B. Cooke
· 1 year ago
Hi, I totally stumbled upon this by accident (did you know that if you google "i have a very good girl, but sometimes she is not so good... if you know what i mean" this is the third result?) when I was trying to figure out what song the lyrics in a friend's msn name was from. I'm glad I did though, it was interesting to read. I agree with a lot (albeit not all) of what you said. I'm with you 100% on the public school system being awful and boring, a real waste of time, truly a place to hold kids until they're old enough to do something worth while... Nevermind the fact that the students aren't being taught anything useful. I also agree with you on the freaks. They do have a magical way of being baked out of their and scoring higher on a test than most of the class. The pot does make a bond. You are incredibly bitter in this though. I'm sure you realize that. Really though, there were no "good" popular kids at your school? I have to admit, I am in high school now and I am considered to be popular (class president, yearbook editor, etc., etc.) but I have never referred to myself as a "popular" kid although I do understand it is true (others have called me that awful "P" word). Although I would sit at an "A" table at your junior high school, I don't think I am at all how you described these popular kids to be. I am smart myself, I do well in my classes and tutor on weekends. I talk to everyone, not just the football team. For example, last weekend I hung out with the group you would call "freaks" and blazed... This weekend, I went to a "cool kid" party which got broken up by the cops, and the next night I went to the movies with the kids in my calculus class. Sersiouly, I had a great time with each of those groups, and I'm happy that I'm able to mix with them all. Really though, I think you should be telling these so called "nerds" to give the "popular" kids a chance... they are not so bad once you decide to stop resenting them.
mikedilv
· 1 year ago
I was always lost in the group between the nerds and the popular kids. At age 29, I put myself in the best physical condition of my life. The most beautiful women took an interest in me and came from at all sides. I can't remember what happened, but at one point I stopped exercising, my physique changed and the women stopped approaching me. I was the same guy but now I wasn't good enough? It made me realize their interest was never really about who I was inside. I was angry inside. I had worked very hard for 30 years by that time to be who I was and that wasn't good enough? My appraised value was based on sex appeal? Where would my life have gone if I had stuck with that group? Say I had married, had children and then cut back on my exercise? Would I have experienced a loss of peer friendships? Would my wife be faithful and still content with our marriage? Now, concerning education. Popularity ranks pretty low with the ability to make a positive impact in the lives of others. Granted there is the ability to get people's attention, exercise compassion, and provide some positive contribution. However, the more intelligence you and I can acquire, the greater impact we can have in the lives of others. A doctor can treat cancer. A lawyer can help people who have been wronged or injured. A scientist can create antibiotics. Popularity at the highest levels cannot do any of those things. People who make a positive difference will never be lonely, in my opinion. In my opinion, there are those who have passed on and still want to make a positive difference in our lives and are willing to be our silent, invisible, tutors in our education and career in making a positive impact in the lives of others. Close your eyes when you get frustrated with school and work and see if the words "Do it for others" don't come to mind and inspire you to sit back down and resume your work at a new level and possibly with a clear understanding of what you just struggled with moments ago. THAT is an incredible experience. That is one that will never be unfaithful, dramatic, etc. It is one that will always be positive. One from an intelligence that has a much larger picture of life and the world we live in and can best lead you to whatever positive desires you have, even if it is popularity. The only question you might be presented with is "What will you do with it? Will you use it for to make a positive impact?"
mikedilv
· 1 year ago
btw, forgot to comment on "Why would I want to make a difference in the lives of people who treat me poorly?" Look at society as a whole. There are over a billion people estimated to be on the earth. They don't all dislike you. Once you have your college degree, they will want and need you for your product and services. They will be dependent on you. In college, when they struggle with calculus, they will be in the math tutor center seeking your help, when their boyfriend(s) or girlfriend(s) are unable or do not have time. Long story short, if being a nerd means preferring to spend your time and money in the pursuit of intelligence than a muscular physique, expensive cars and clothing, and expensive haircuts, then be a nerd! Only 2-3 months ago I was an entertainment manager at a celebrity hotspot in Las Vegas. Every week we had celebrities and the "popular crowd." I wore $2000 suits, $200-300 ties, $200-$350 belts, $200 shirts, $200 jeans. I grew tired of it! I watched people work 2 or more jobs or work >40hrs/wk to afford to dress like that and spend $50-$200,000 on drinks and gratuity. (Yes, a particular individual would come in and spend $100k to $200k just on drinks for himself and anyone charismatic person who would drink with him) Now, I am a student at the University of Utah majoring in Mathematics and Mechanical Engineering. I wear cowboy boots, Wrangler jeans, $15 Walmart button down Wrangler brand shirts, and a John Deere hat. In my free time, I go for walks in wild land or at an equestrian park. Most of my time is spent in the math library at the university, however. My shirt pocket is always full of 3x5 cards, a mini recorder, and 2 pens. I don't fit in. But when I see people judge me, I laugh inside as I think how it would be different if I was back in my suit or $1000 jacket and $200 jeans. I laugh at how how much he or she has to learn about what is "real" in life and as to what is incredible. For me, what is real is being who YOU are and not what others think you should be. For me, that is the outdoors, horses, dogs, agriculture, and the pursuit of intelligence. If I ever remarry, I know I will be loved from the beginning for who I am and not how I look at the moment. That makes for a much more rewarding and secure relationship = what the popular kids are wanting but trying to get via charisma. Anyway, keep your chin up. You rule! If I can be of any further help, just ask.
fierymerengue
· 1 year ago
Wow...you definitely know a lot about the real world. Alright, I'm a teen that is going to be a freshman in high school pretty soon. All I really want is a guy best friend that I can relate with, someone real...not some sports- oriented group that just cares about girls, getting laid, or ostracizing nerds who aren't like them. How do I get that? The reason is, I think there's this person that has the potential to be a great friend of mine. But he has his own basketball/baseball crew, and I keep reminding myself I am not like him. Yet, I want to be around him. If you knew how much I wanted to be like a teenager right now, you would get it. How the hell do I beat the system? That's what I want to know. What is the single thing that will get you a bulls-eye, true relationship?
mikedilv
· 1 year ago
re: "How do I get a guy best friend that is real?" All my female best friends have been girls I was attracted to, flirted with, but could never get a first date with. They would do things with me, but would say "Let's definitely go to the movie, but I just need another really good friend right now. Cool?" They would also take an interest in my favorite interests. I was really into skateboarding in high school. My female friends never skated, but they at least pretended to be entertained by it :)
But let’s say he isn’t interested in you, even if you take an interest in his basketball. I want you to then remember ice cream. Hehe. What I mean is I like ice cream with a bit of vanilla, chocolate swirl, chocolate covered peanuts, and peanut butter. I know guys who prefer Rocky Road, Mint Chocolate Chip, Oreo, Pralines n’ Cream, etc. Baskin and Robbins alone has 31 flavors! Now, have you ever ordered your favorite ice cream and looked at a friend’s and said “Hmm, that looks good, can I try it?” You then try it say “Wow! That is good. I wish I had gotten that one :(.”
Here is the first point. Every guy out there (and girl, for the guys) is like an ice cream flavor. You see what’s in the case, but until you have experienced as many flavors as possible, you have no idea which is your favorite! All you can do is guess and make assumptions. So, my first recommendation is to not set your heart on a single guy until you have dated numerous types of guys.
Second point, you are a flavor too and guys have no idea what they want either. They can look in the case and make a best guess, but until they have tried numerous flavors they have no idea which is their favorite. For guys, we have an additional complication. Our biological clock says “It’s time to reproduce, even if accidentally.” That really messes up our thinking skills, but the level of intensity varies from guy to guy.
Realize too that if you have to act or dress in a different manner to get a guy, it is not worth it. To get a “real” relationship and/or friendship, you have to be you 100% from the very beginning. How long will that take? It wasn't until I was 23 and wow did I have an incredible marriage! Every other girlfriend before that, from age 12, was just a source of good times, followed by anxiety , followed by heartache, since I always wanted to go steady and not have open dating relationships. The lack of open dating was also the cause of my divorce. I had no idea what other flavors were out there and wondered if I had made the best choice. Now, 10 years later, I am saddened that to this day, I have yet to find another woman of her caliber who loves me in return like she did. I hope this all helps.
mikedilv
· 1 year ago
:) For those who say "I can't get the friends or the dates." I assure you, when you get to a university (not a community college), you will! It will be the first time you are in a peer environment where people are there for an education. At universities, intelligence is "in." Granted, there are the pretty people too, but they usually don't make it past the first year. Those who do, have a tremendous amount of respect for you, as you have proven you are just as tough if not tougher than they are in the academic challenges that their pretty peers failed at their first year. YOU will be the idols. When you earn your masters degree, the bachelor degree holders will be in awe at your level of comprehension as you will be in awe at the level of comprehension of the PhDs in your field.
fierymerengue
· 1 year ago
mikedilv...thanks a lot. Sometimes I feel different from other people (actually a lot), but now I feel that there's more out there for me. In regards to ice cream, you are right! Why should I stick around for vanilla and strawberry when New York Super Fudge Chunk could be around the corner? Lol.
I also think that--when I get old enough, I haven't started dating yet--I'll have open dating. I should experience it all, not set my sight on one prospective person.
Thanks a lot, again.
mikedilv
· 1 year ago
Hopefully we help people who are looking for answers, due to being picked on in school. K-12 kids are ruthless. Community College is a little better. University students rock! The campus and student body are FAR too big to develop any "cool kid" "nerd kid" groups. There, everyone is just a student, even the professors, and range in age from 18 to 88 or older. The bullies soon realize they are powerless without their bully peers and that they look absolutely immature if they attempt to mock anyone. People will look at them as if to say "Are you serious? Did you just mock that guy? What, are you 5?" And like I said, university campuses are far too big for anyone to even take a moment to think someone is a nerd.
A
· 8 months ago
mikedilv, your idea that basically everyone in university is happy and fits in is a wrong one. I'm not trying to deflate anyone's hopes but the vast majority of people in college are not good looking. So even if most people in university "get dates", it's not necessarily what you imagine it to be.
john
· 1 year ago
Great Article, but who is the author so that credit can be given where it is due?
Robert
· 1 year ago
That was a hell of an essay there.... Well thought out. I had already come to many of these conclusions but never in such a cohesive manner. Your essay, as I already said, is fantastic.... Why don't you write a book?
shane
· 2 years ago
Hey, I just typed why into google and this came up, im definatly very glad I read it, although I cannot fully relate to it.
I am from Australia and currently in Year 10, and in my school it seems that the most popular people are infact smart people. Maybe they use their intelligence to realise what it takes to become popular, or maybe they are just multi talented and naturally popular (yes, naturally popular, it is possible).
Thanks for the great essay.
~Rosygirls92~
· 2 years ago
I'm in total agreement with you Shane. Funnily enough.. I'm also in year 10 attending a selective school. The most popular kids there are actually the most nerdist ones while the good-looking ones come second. Maybe it's because of our society or our teachers. Either way the smart factor is a huge boost in the popularity scale. -This essay was great. I'd love to read more of your work!!
um.....i..........don't know what to say.......................................... wait! I got something.....um..........STOP RAMBLING ON! that felt good..................
Michael
· 2 years ago
I'm not sure how to comment on this essay as I come from England and our school way of life now and back when I attended was and still is much different to that of the USA. You have popular kids but there is no definitive line between popular and unpopular with bullying being a very rare thing in high schools today. I have never heard of anyone commited suicide or contemplating it as a result of school life. At parties over here there is a mixture of popular and your normals but by popular I don't mean they are special or sporting heroes just socially more adept and charisma. At school I was never a popular kid but over here its not such a big thing to the extent of having it constantly on your mind night and day. Nowadays I've heard stories that popular kids just sit on benches chatting or playing the odd game of football (soccer) at lunch picking on anyone but nothing major and just for that one minute of the day. Schools in England involve 85% of school children being socially capable of holding a conversation on their own and children in schools from very different backgrounds get on with everyone else on the school and over here you are liked for yourself and not whether you are the soccer team etc.
Much more to say on the matter so keep your eyes peeled.
Jess
· 2 years ago
I'm actually not in agreement with your arguement, where I am and in many schools I've been too there are popular students who are smart and slightly less smart unpopular kids...and it wasnt a minority either...on average I am fairly good at school and fairly *without meaning to brag but...* "popular"...it isn't fair to sterotype people...its unfair and unjust...and its really long to read =P
James
· 2 years ago
i like it. this jess person says she is in disagreement, but that is because many people have different situations in life. obviosly school is going to be different for all of us, and it seemed like you were just stating the worst of situation. i liked it though, it helped me look at my high school life right now and see how what you described is still partly true.
Jay
· 2 years ago
Comments like "stop rambling on" or "it's so long to read" are meaningless and should be cast aside. I was something of a "nerd" (though not totally an outcast) in high school and found this essay to be almost 100% spot on. But whether you agree or disagree how long it took you to read it is really irrelevant.
Reader
· 1 year ago
Darn! The Cliff's Notes summary isn't out yet. ;)
Moz
· 2 years ago
I enjoyed your essay. I would say, though, that you missed a point regarding school hierarchies. The problem lies in the pubertal transition to adulthood for us monkeys. Nothing aggravates a physically adult twelve year old more than being put in his place intellectually by a tiny, squeaky-voiced child (albeit of the same age). Once the first few kickings for being "teacher's pet" have been handed out, the rest of school is pretty much predetermined. Large, violent - will excel at sports, and therefore will spend a lot of time doing sports, rather than reading. Small, weedy - will never be picked for anything, and will therefore have lots of free time to read and write, and do Jenkins' homework for him - deliberately incorrectly, because the fear of Jenkins' violence is always trumped by the immense satisfaction of seeing Jenkins transferred to a remedial class. (And subsequently, the ability to ask Jenkins to super-size my meal).
If I had my time at school again, I'd be a nerd again. Teenage girls are immensely boring.
Brian
· 1 year ago
"Teenage girls are boring"? HA HA yet another geek who failed to get a date! The point of teen girls isn't to be interesting or boring, the point is that they are at the height of beauty, only surpassed by freshman girls. And "will have lots of free time to read and write" ?? You act as if reading is something to kill time with, instead of something with which to increase the scope of your world. If you were a nerd, you couldn't have been a very smart one.
TW
· 2 years ago
You have a mix of both good valid points with a couple of simplistic bad ones. It is tribalism but intelligence is not the defining variable. I have know very smart populars and some very dumb nerds. The arrogance of the nerd tribe to assume that it's about smarts is one of the reasons why they get disdain even in the adult world, just behind their backs after they trouble shoot the office mainframe instead of to their face. It comforts them by thinking it's envy of their brains and that illusion gets them through the day. Nerds just have very specific attributes that give them high reward for low effort in specialized fields. They do not have many social skills because they do not require them. The survival fire is not under their buts enough to motivate them into the effort of it. Technology has created a niche they can be very comfortably successful in. School is a primitive emulation of the adult social politics. It gets more subtle and refined as we get older but it never goes away. Every one chooses whether they realize it or not that they take the path of most reward for least effort optimizing their talents and skills. They go where the results are. In the wheat from chaff process over the long term many nerds get left by the wayside as much as dumb jocks, empty beauties and shallow populars do. And it is a given that the nerd tribe breaks down into sub groups with their own status ranks.
Perseustrue
· 2 years ago
Intelligence may not have been the defining variable for you. Paul notes that the A-C,E tables were defined by other qualities (conformism, athleticism, nihilism, and yes wealth).
School is a 'limited" emulation of adult social politics. In this Paul is exactly right. In the real world the A through D tables are so large you can choose to almost exclusively associate with the type of people you prefered in school. When you feel uncomfortable as an adult it is because you have been forced to deal with people you did not like in school.
Steve
· 2 years ago
I live in a far-away country in Europe, so in the school that I graduated from some details were slightly different, as is to be expected in another country with another language, etc. Nevertheless, when reading this article I felt as if I were, mutatis mutandis, reading about my own school. Excellent insights.
Ally
· 2 years ago
I can't say that I agree with you on this. At my school we don't really have much of a problem with that. Nearly everybody gets along, and the line between "popular" and "unpopular" isn't the same as being a "nerd" or just average. It's how you treat people. I have yet to meet a really nice, considerate person from my school that is considered unpopular. To tell you the truth, most of the popular people at my school are actually very smart. There are always the ones who think they're better than everybody else, but those people are generally the ones who are considered popular because they've got money. I am from from Canada, and maybe people are nicer in general, but not everybody is like that. I'm one of those kids who are somewhat popular, but not one of the elite group. I've never been picked on in my life, and I've never worked on being popular. People react to how you act towards them. If I was one of the rudest people around I would most definitely be shunned. Anybody would! You have a good argument though, and I think you did a good job of speaking your mind. It's a very good essay, I just don't agree with the point you are trying to make.
Taylor
· 2 years ago
I'm in an Australian high school, year 9, and I completely agree with you. Apart from being from another country, this is exactly how my school is - painful and pointless.
Chelsizzle
· 2 years ago
I'm very sorry you were thought as a nerd. I feel really bad for you actually. Im a sophmore in high school. And i make fun of all the nerds at our school all the time. But i don't care because im not one of them.
Perseustrue
· 2 years ago
What doesn't kill you makes you strong. Thank you for helping your future bosses learn this early.
Kyle T.
· 2 years ago
I'm a "nerd" i guess, but I study for no tests, but still manage to ace most, or at least pass all. Either way, the only few people who thought they were good enough to pick on me met my friendly nieghbor, the floor. The "popular" kids, were always real popular after they got their ass kicked during english class, or during P.E.
It's fun, because being the so called "nerd" and being small, also makes me immune to almost all punishment. "He started it, I defended myself, why would i try to fight someone twice my size?" and I'm off. Small people have more fighting experiences then you could ever image, not to mention the speed to back it up, and maybe not pure muscle compared to you, but in comparison to body size, they most likely have more then you.
Paperface
· 2 years ago
This was a great read. Very detailed and well thought out. I'd have to agree with many of your points but you also seemed to miss a few things. All and all, it was well thought out and probably better than any piece of writing I could ever produce. Thanks for this.
p.s. I think it's pretty funny reading all these high school kid's comments like, "I'm popular AND smart in my high school so your essay is wrong and I don't agree with it." It's not really about your or his experience through school, there's much much more to it than that.
Lisa
· 2 years ago
As a sophmore in highschool , this article was very well written
You could be smart and attractive/popular, however, that is one of the hardest roles to play and manage in highschool, because you want to maintain a balance without messing up anything on either side, unfortunately, at this point, popularity is more important for most people, although smart people won't be shunned, nerds/socially awkward people will be out of the circle.
One thing I think is the hardest for smart people is that they realize the system. They see through it when other people can't, they know thing other people can't relate to and that makes it all the more depressing when you realize you're among the few who's in the know about how pointless school is at times but you can't beat the system. Especially the social pressure which before you and everyone else was numb to but then you see how pointless and consuming it is and yet no one ever questions it.
It's just a big, fake circle with no sense of reality, and I feel I'm just walking in an infinite loop until I graduate, the good thing is seeing kids who you know if they stick it out for a few more years, the roles will be dramatically reversed.
They always tell us that the real world is alot more harsher, scarier and worse than school. I don't think so.
Nakeisha
· 2 years ago
I live in Greece. I go to the High school.Here the nerds are treated badly,but they have no real problem with anybody.The ones who face an earthy inferno everyday are the outlandish,weird-looking ones,the gay's,the non-stylish ones and the people who dress goth and emo. I am facing many problems,because of my Asian descent and the distinctive way of dressing and walking.
Anonymous
· 2 years ago
I'm a girl in an English Secondary school. I found your article spot on for myself, though I don't get picked on by many guys because I'm a girl, and other girls are either afraid of me, my friend, or don't care less. I hope it stays that way. It also helps that I'm tall, but I think I've stopped growing now. Thanks for the information. Knowing this from somebody who's been through that to the real world, I can walk through the school social scenes with confidence that it won't affect me in the real world, although I've always known that, sort of consciously. You keep saying that such barbaric situations are "back then" - but it's still like that, and I doubt it'll change any time soon.
Jason
· 2 years ago
This is one of the most clear, valuable indictments of our public schools that I have ever had the privilege of reading. Thank you for writing it, and I hope to spread this, and hopefully in the long run bring about change (I've been thinking about it for years).
Just as a ray of hope, there are private schools that are not as empty, and provide structure and growth for the students enrolled there. If we could simply model public schools on successful private schools, we would be well on the way to remedying the situation you have so ably described.
jodie
· 2 years ago
Popularity has nothing to do with our lives in the future. Usually those who are popular at school end up in crappy jobs, on the street, involved in drugs, whatever. What we need to remember is that one day we could be working for that nerd that you bagged out all the way through their schooling!!! Give them a break people!!! These poeple could save our lives one day, but all you have done is destroy their child hood!!!
Jessica
· 2 years ago
I'M FROM AUSTRALIA!!!!! In my schhol nerds are people who talk about work n nothing else n they dont takl about new trends and new music etc But being smart is not bad at all as long as u can sosialise and go with the flow. I'm reaally smart in maths, in writing stories in art and in drama and in sport and I have never been called a nerd. I'm just normal among my friend and I fit in well. Overall I wreckon u can be smart n kool and that its reaally easy.hOPE PEOPLE CAN REPLY TO DIS!
anon
· 2 years ago
i totally agree wid u on dat 1 @ mi skool im sorta in da middle but there r still major populartity issues
pete
· 2 years ago
in my school in the UK i used to be a nerd. i thought it was the uncool place to be, but life was still good. personally i belive at that time i had no self confidece and i admit, i didn't care. now only a few mounths on, i have risen considerably on the popularity scale. i realise that the only reason i got laughed at, was that i was the only person some people cood laugh at, so i belive they were in a worse place than i was. i wasn't trying and didn't care about failing,. they tried too hard, and ended up with people thinking they were an idiot, whereas everyone just thought i was a geek
Kelly
· 2 years ago
This essay is brilliant. It sounds really familiar and helps a lot- thank you! It's a fake and superficial world; high school, yet people keep repeating that it's supposed to be "the best time of your life". It may be a very important time, but it doesn't make it easier. It's absolute hell sometimes.
Jonathon
· 2 years ago
This is so so true. And I think it still holds today, even if you don't overly.
Nerd
· 2 years ago
I cannot believe that at last I have found someone who shares my views.
William
· 2 years ago
Interesting article, but I do have a couple of bones to pick.
I'm not sure how I feel about the dismissive tone about popular stuff being "dumb"-- while it wasn't academic in nature, surely, my "quest for popularity" was anything but stupid, I think. I started out as a nerd (but my school was in Canada, which I am learning makes it weird-- there was a provincial instead of local hierarchy, most schools had a 'magnet'-- mine was gifted kids and an auto shop, while down the road was high-performance athletes, and another had art/drama, and another was for kids who struggled with school... you get the idea. They all still had the regular, 'local' kids, but then a huge displaced chunk of kids coming from across the city for one specific thing. But I digress) and worked my way up. I mostly did this by getting really nerdy about 'cool' things-- music, comedy, things like that. I still played plenty of video games, but I was listening to an amazing band that nobody at school would hear of for months. People would occasionally attempt to ostracize me or tease me, but I'd become confident enough that I was able to brush them off like I meant it (having a good zinger comes in very handy for this). Hell, I got a pair of stylish glasses in my junior year and some clothes that didn't look like they were from a department store (in retrospect, they probably WERE from a department store) and ended up dating one of the most sought-after girls at school! Then again, I was lucky in that nerdiness was kind of 'cool' in the early 2000s. I just exploited that fact really, really well.
That kind of leads me into my next point, which is that nerdiness is becoming chic. Yeah, we've heard it a million times, for sure. But I remember my last year of high school as virtually run by former nerds-- there was my friend M, who was the only kid our grade wearing punk shirts to school in grade 9 and was made fun of for his weight throughout, who became incredibly charming and school president in his last year. There was me, who talked about final fantasy and wore sweatpants, but at some point got a clue and turned into the hilarious guy everyone wanted to hang out with on breaks. My friend G was, well, one of my best friends, and he grew about 6 inches one summer and stopped talking funny and started looking pretty good, so he was a shoe-in.
I forget where I was going with this. Oh yeah... my point: there were kids who were nerds and freaks at the beginning of school who became the 'cool' kids by the end of school. It wasn't because they sold out and picked on other people; it was because they realized that the two important aspects of popularity are mass appeal and confidence. Once you realize the first, you recognize that virtually everyone has the potential to have mass appeal-- if you're not sporty, you can be charming, or funny, or badass, or whatever else you can think of. And once you realize what you can exploit, the confidence follows. And if that kind of reasoning isn't nerdy enough for you, I'm not sure I know what nerd even means any more.
Ihatewilliam \/
· 2 years ago
Nice article. I was a nerd in school, but now I'm a lot richer than any of the football and lacrosse players. Honestly, getting through high school as a nerd is easy as long as you keep thinking that you will kick their ass in real life
Stereotypical Asian Nerd
· 2 years ago
Your article is very interesting. It has some very good points however, I believe that the nature of American Public Schools are changing for the better in respect to the nerd community. Even though I am a nerd, I am also a Navy brat (I moved frequently). As I began my Freshman year in High School, I was picked on often by the Seniors however, not nearly as much by people who were younger. Not only this, but after my Freshman year, it seemed as though being a nerd somehow came with popularity. I have no idea how, or why, but things seemed to be changing for the better. In fact, the social ineptitude seems to be deemed "cute" by girls. It seems as though the new generation has brought a new outlook and a new system. The lowest rank on the popularity scale seems to be the less intelligent.
Bullying still exists however, its not as bad as people who come from the preceding generation say it is. I'm a Senior this year, and from what I've seen nearly all of my fellow nerds have also seen little to none teasing or bullying. What seems to stay consistent is the very top of the spectrum. Kids who are rich, on the football team, or simply "hot" (as girls put it) continue to rule the school. Nerds, in their eyes, are simply losers.
someone
· 2 years ago
WOW, that was great! i am curently writing a college essay about popularity and you gave me a totaly different view! thanx
hey.
· 2 years ago
I think this article makes a lot of sense. I totally agree with everything it said and I just want to say that nerds shouldn't view themselves as nerds... because everyone needs to see themselves in a higher outlook. I see nothing wrong with nerds and actually enjoy their company a lot more than the 'popular kids.' I absolutely love this article, and it puts everything into perspective from the actual eye of someone from a public school. Thanks for writing this and just getting it out there.
Jim
· 2 years ago
I was a bully in school but I like nerds. The popular guys are usually dumb.
JT
· 2 years ago
Brilliant. I only wish I'd have read this a decade before, the following years wouldn't have seemed so bad.
Icelander
· 2 years ago
In a word, wow. I really liked this article. It showed me a view of teenage lives and social dividing that I not seen before. I'd like to write a whole lot more, but I will spare you from the boredom. I would however like to write about this article in one of my school assignments and I hope you don't mind.
help
· 2 years ago
opinionated type of essay
Tracy Cousins
· 2 years ago
why do you feel this way? were you a nerd or a popular kid in school, mybe you dont understand one side or the other.
Susanne
· 2 years ago
Amazing article. You touched on some of the undercurrents in my own high school where some of the popular kids WERE the smart kids, but they also were the kids who would go out drinking on the weekends. The "good" smart kids were definitely in a lower eschalon of popularity because we didn't get smashed at parties every week.
But also what you wrote confirmed our decision (our kids' decision, mostly) for our home education program. Our kids learn what will promote a good merge into adult culture. My oldest loves to write, so she writes. My oldest boy loves to create and plan and draw, so he creates and plans and draws. Yes, they have the typical academic courses, but as they teach themselves, they motivate themselves. I'm there to faciliate and guide their learning.
They also have the opportunity to join in a more adult world as they volunteer their time in possible work scenarios that may end up being their life's work. My sophomore daughter teaches other homeschooled kids, and she loves it; she may have found her future in education. She also volunteers for our town's newspaper, so journalism may be in her future also. Because of home education, she has the time to pursue her own interests as well as complete solid academic work including the study of Latin, her own choice.
When I taught at the university level, I could see some of the "nerds" coming out of their shells as they accessed a more adult world. Yes, the "popular" people still existed, but there were enough nerds around for them to join together and find their niche in university life. I hope that this phenomenon starts to unravel during the more independent college years, if not during the junior high and high school years themselves. It's just so sad to know that many children suffer needlessly this way. The damage must be immense.
Tracy Cousins
· 2 years ago
And the strange thing is, this nightmare scenario happens without any conscious malice, merely because of the shape of the situation.
This statement above made me upset, yes they do set out to do it on purpose, I was not the most smartest in school, but I certainly didnt have to work hard to get good grades, my problem was people thought I was weird. I hope one day I can find an article like yours to explain and relieve some stress for being the weird kid. It helped me a little but not a lot, I didnt have the oh so sad life of being in a suburb, most of my life was in the inner city hoods of beautiful california, and the downtown mess. I didnt have a mom that liked to dress her pretty daughter nice, and she was cruel and sick minded, and then came the other adults, then the kids, like I dont remember the kids hurting me that much, because the adults ripped me apart before they ever could. It was mostly the adults in my life that wanted me to have the pain of the nerds you spoke of, and the kids just followed along. My mother hated me, so my brothers did, then my brothers made other kids hate me, and now I see how such behavior could start, you let me know how bullies really think, sadly my biggest bully was my mom.
Thank you for your article, and I'm glad I did a little more healing.
John
· 2 years ago
In eastern Europe intelligence was considered a very good point and high class and so-called "nerds" usually were dumb and ugly as opposed to United States nerds. All the most popular people in EE were highly educated, smart and usually physically fit as well. Eve those who were in the weak side but smart were very popular. Well, except of a small group of dumb blondes, who everyone laughed at and some "criminal element" usually a couple guys in the class. In USA looks are more important than education that is why your country is lagging behind in intelligence far away behind such countries like Cuba, Russia, Eastern Euope (not a country) etc. even if our economies weere a mess, now they are improving along with high quality of education, not necessarily all posh looking schools, but the education itself makes people think.
Julie
· 2 years ago
This article may be correct in some ways but i disagree with a large part of it. The smart kids in my school tend to hang out because they are all in the same classes. They are all in advanced classes. However, most of them also hang out with many other groups of kids. The majority of the smart kids at my school are not nerds.
Nem
· 2 years ago
Wow! I just googled 'why' because I felt like I wanted to hear an answer to some random question I didn't ask. This article came up, its awesome!
I'm from Australia, but I can definately relate. I love how simple, clear and accurate this essay is.
david
· 2 years ago
I just typed in why aswell! this article is amazing and definetly sums up school life I'm from ireland and the social system in my school seems very similar to your schools
(by the way I am in 2nd year or 14th grade i think)
Elias G. Amaral da Silva
· 2 years ago
Fantastic essay. I occasionally crawl here looking for arc news; I have some ideas about mixing ML ideas in arc but I didn't suggested anything yet, and still don't having an open source alpha implementation isn't very motivating. (Actually /you/ made me learn lisp and want to start a startup, but that's another story).
Here in Brazil, at least in my school I didn't saw much of this bullying and outcasting, it's weaker here. Bullies are often recognized as plain evil, even to other children. But I think you are right: schools works as a prison, just because kids have no use. And I started reading this article believing this was the only way.
student #542444 From MN, USA
· 2 years ago
wow, this a very nice essay. i can see how it got kids attention from around the world. nice judgements.
Stixx
· 2 years ago
That was a great article. I'm currently considering my status as a would be customer service representative and wondering if I'm actually a nerd. I was a "freak" in high school, always wore black and sure, I had connections with the so called "dorks" in high school as well. I'm currently unemployed and have been for about a year and a half and I'm just about ready to re-enter the workforce so I've been searching for an identity that I can hold on too as I re-enter the "real world". I'm 25 and living in the suburbs again with my parents and I can tell you, it'a a bit of a nightmare. This place is deserted. TAKE ME BACK TO THE CITY! Ahhh well, If you're reading this you're probably wondering if I have a point to make.....well, I don't! HAHA! Have a nice day.
M3...
· 2 years ago
kudos to the person that wrote this. I myself am in ap classes and am enrolled in the international baccaularate program and my social life is amazing. I basically talk to everyone in the school, because here we dont have clicks. Sure we have "nerds" but even they must be popular if everyone knows who they are. There popular for being nerds. Just like popular kids are popular for being popular.
Hannah, 15, England
· 2 years ago
Fantastic article. I'm 15 and I go to a High School in England, a comprehensive so you get all sorts... I was in the "Popular Crowd" in Year 7 (11 and 12 year olds), I don't know how I got there - I guess I just got on with popular kids. But I hated it.
You constantly feel you have to keep up and image, and as soon as you laugh "too loud", or make a fool of yourself it's seen as scandal. But I didn't know where else to go, all my friends were in the popular crowd.
Then we were mixed up for subjects such as maths and science, and in top set I met other people as none of the popular crowd was in top set. Of course there were nerds in our class, but there were also...(excuse the word) normal people, interesting people, who made real conversation, instead of meaningless gossip. I loved it, and made some amazing friends.
I suppose now me and my friends would be...about B or B- in the popularity scale. I could never go back to the popular crowd, because I'm now an outcast from that group. But I'd never want to go back there.
Your article triggered a lot of memories for me :) Thanks for posting it. Whoa, my comments almost as long as your article so I'll end it on this - When describing popular kids, all you can say is "They're popular". Popular with who? Their friends. Does make everyone popular? No of course not. So why are they described as popular? Because without their popularity they have nothing else.
Hannah
· 2 years ago
I have disagree with some things in this article. I'm often classified as a nerd/geek in school, but I'm also quite popular. You see, even if you are a nerd, once people take the time to know your personality, that determines your popularity. Often the nerds that are at the bottom of the popularity diamond seclude themselves so that people cannot get to know them. You might ask, "But why are the mean teens often popular?" They are only popular among themselves. They try to act better than everyone else, but it only gains approval form others like them and those that are too insecure to discern character.
I'm being very blunt here, but for years I have been observing the way people act, etc. I figured that I might as well share my knowlegde.
Bobbi - UK
· 2 years ago
Wow, you make so much sense! In my school I was a nerd, or "boffin" as they are called over here, and now I am one of the intelligent drama geeks, which is better but not great. I have never really cared about what other people think, except my friends, because they know me better than anyone else, and I think that is one of the most important things to remember in high school/ secondary school, always make sure you are happy in both your intelligence and social status. Thanks for your time, and I love the article! -x-Bobbi-x-
Marco
· 2 years ago
I go to a really good High School and honestly nerds aren't smarter then the cool kids. If you really think nerds are smarter and the popular cool kids are dumb then your wrong. I used to be on the Basketball team and now I am on the Track And Field team in my high school and I am in honors. Many "nerds" are in Honors, but in regular also. Nerds aren't that smart, plus I rather be on a sports team with a 91+ average and have a nice social life rather than being a nerd. A nerd with a 93+ no athleticism, and almost no extra-curricular activities except for chess team. Why aren't nerds popular? Cause they aren't that much smarter then the "cool kids", they talk to themselves a lot, start conversations with random people about random stuff... Example: Me: Hi Nerd: Oh hi, yeah so I can finally kick my brothers ass in Halo 3..." Me: Um Okay cool bye. Okay maybe I started that one but you get the point. Also even geeks some of 'em have like 98+ AP classes averages and such AND DO SPORTS, they also have a good social life... Nerds are more of the fat kids who snort when they laugh and such.
Kristina
· 2 years ago
I agree with Cody on this. Marco, you are ridiculous. The grammar, aside from what Cody pointed out, was atrocious and quite honestly made me recoil. Being in "honors" does NOT take work. At all. All it takes to be in honors is be a student who isn't drunk every weekend. I am a nerd, which simply means that my IQ is a higher number than you can probably count to. I'm not UNpopular, but I am by no means "popular." And guess what? I'm not fat, and I don't snort when I laugh, thank you very much. I think you need to stick to your sports and stop capitalizing random words.
Bored Nerd
· 2 years ago
Interesting thing I realized: Marco uses terrible grammer and types in all caps because he hasn't bother to fit in with the sort of people who regularly chat on Internet comment boards. He's too busy being popular in school to avoid being socially awkward online. The difference is that there's a reason to fit in online. It comes naturally from practice, and online culture makes you smarter. not myspace of course, but in general finding articles like this and arguing about them is useful. You can always leave the game, or be a passive observer. And the society is far from a closed bubble, of course. So then, why are there people as abusive as Marco? why would those who fail at being acceptable online be in any position to bully? I think it's a habit. good luck picking on the nerds on the Internet, you'll drown in reasoned debate. by the way kristina, you're as wrong as he is. jocks aren't all stupid, and honors takes dedication. You fit in online quite well, because of your experience and intelligence, and so you bully less intelligent people who are awkward online. nerds bullying jocks...ain't the Internet great?
DDR
· 2 years ago
As you say, the school society does not have the power to change things other than locally. Therefore, I would expect a great deal of variation from region to region, geographically and economically. This is a very good essay!
I get that "yeah... that sounds right..." feeling.
bobwazzi
· 2 years ago
Very interesting. I agree much.
frosty
· 2 years ago
Woah, this stuff is a bit hard for me to comprehend, but I understood most of it. I too personaly do not relate to this, but it does have some major points that seems true. hehehe, I serously like the part when you said "who wouldn't drop thirty points in exchange for being loved and admired by everyone?" that really got me thinking.
foreclosers
· 2 years ago
I suppose the one point about nerds that could be brought out more is their naivete. I remember actually singing in class in high school to impress people with my songwriting ability. This was not a music class. I was intelligent, but I lacked foresight. Nerds have real deficiencies that compound the problem of unpopularity. I suppose all teenagers are naive, in their own specialized ways.
foreclosers
· 2 years ago
Forgive me if this appears twice, my terminal shut down on me. Basically, I'd like to testify to the naivete of high school nerds. I remember one time I actually thought I'd impress my classmates with my songwriting ability (which is something I've been almost equally naive about after high school). So I sang a song to them in class. Not a music class. Furthermore it was inspired by a particular girl in that class. I cannot blame that on anyone but myself.
Vicky
· 2 years ago
That was interesting, I do have to agree with a lot of you're saying. But I've lead my life as a popular kid who got invited to every party and managed to study and get the top grades. Maybe I'm naive and people will disagree with me, but I truly believe that if you treat people equally and appreciate everyone you become popular. It worked for me, I guess because I never fealt the need to make fun of someone or put them down, on the oposite, it made me extremelly happy when I cheared someone up or helped out. I guess I just want to say, being yourself and out there is extremelly important. Don't just limit yourself to one friend group, try out different things, don't be scared to fail and you'll make lots of new friends and be invited to many parties and feel loved and popular:-) thanks for reading.
anonymous
· 2 years ago
I agree all the way.. when i was a kid, i stayed about medium in popularity. first i was a nerd, then slowly pulled my way up... pretty hard and harsh, mind. at football, i was always embarrased at being one of the last ones, but id look real dumb wandering around on the field. part of it, i found out, is racism...
dan
· 2 years ago
well i do agree but to be honest i think kids judge by actoins. see theirs this kid who is like 6 ft 2 inches or so in our 7th grade class and know1 sat next to him. i was knew to the school and they warned me about it. know i stay in the averge popular. i dont want to be so so popular because then alot of people talk about 1 mistake u made. but i think if u do sports u get alot of regonitoin.but thier are smart kids in my class and we popular kids dont pick on them.well i dont know about public but i go to private. we picked on the guy who is different. and we useto pick on this kid who was always getting F,s and forgeting homework.well i dont know i guess in a private school is different.
dan
· 2 years ago
also if u make fun of nerds u get alot of kids liking u. it depends how u are i mean like if ur a kid in 7th grade dating u are pretty popular. and also depends how u act up because if ur new u have to make a first impressoin. dont let guys trash talk u but try to listen what they say and do what they say but the worst thing if ur knew is being nosey.
Lloyd A. Conway
· 2 years ago
Sir: You write as if you knew me in school. At my 20th reunion, a woman, whom I didn't recognize, walked up to me and said, "I'm so sorry for what we did to you." I'll spare the details of those dark years, as you've outlined them in your essay; all I could add would be the particulars of my situation. Based on my experiences, I have a lifelong hatred of bullies, utmost respect for folks like John McCain who were POWs, and a strong dislike of planning, utopianism, and ideology. I hope that the homeschooling movement helps to deschool society (to borrow Ivan Illych's phrase), and that the utter failure of our schools, in an era of shrinking budgets, will lead to their collapse, a la the Velvet Revolution that swept away Communism in Eastern Europe. Thank you for the public service you've done by so eloquently identifying the root causes of the problem with American public secondary schools: purposelessness and boredom. -Lloyd A. Conway P.S. Parochial schools are different, I think. Where my wife teaches, they do have a mission, the kids learn, and they're a pretty happy lot.
Anonymous
· 2 years ago
the essay was great!!!!!!!
but i'm a straight A student and i'm popular so i don't understand why other smart people can't be popular
Hhhmmm!!!!!!
Andrew
· 2 years ago
uh hey vicky is a *girl*... and i assume the rest are mostly guys? this may just be a speculation of mine (which is likely to be true), but i really reckon that when it comes to being smart AND unpopular, guys clearly have an *upper hand * AND *do much better*!
Cheryl
· 2 years ago
Getting good grades does not make you a nerd. Especially if you are taking standard classes and the nerds are in advanced ones. It always annoyed me when I was in trigonometry and got a B while someone in basic algebra got an A and made Honor Roll because of it. Grades have nothing to do with intelligence or nerdiness. Also, my friends and I often made poor grades because we just didn't care. We weren't being challenged in class, and were bored, so didn't bother with homework. We also got in trouble frequently for acting out in class because the material didn't hold our attention. I spent almost every lunch period in middle school in detention because of this. (It kept me from having to deal with the lunch table issue though!)
Nicole Patterson
· 2 years ago
I love this artical I am on a papper for my school and I feel that it is important for kids to hear an artical like this one. It inspirded me to be nice to everyone because it does hurt them later in the future.
Darren
· 2 years ago
This actually made sense of what my school seems like. Thats... unusually helpful, actually. =\ although, it does seem to say that if any "nerds" start to become poular, then they are basically messing up their lives.
Jennifer
· 2 years ago
I'm so sure you're over analyzing this b/c the kids at my school are smart but maintain average popularities. It really doesn't have anything to do with what someone wants to achieve on: popularity vs booksmarts, but more on who you are as a person and the life that you're more pulled towards. People will hang around cooler [as in kinder, more interesting, more positive attitude] people. Even if you're focused on school, it doesn't mean many people don't have the idea of a cool nerd you are and want to be your friend. Also, I believe some nerds are like how you describe them as, but maybe they're avoiding popularity b/c they know they lack skills to get popular. You seem to assume popularity as a game anyone can win, but actually, not everybody. If you're nerd, you're a nerd. If you're popular, you have qualities making you popular. Being a nerd doesn't meant you also do have good social qualities to you keep to yourself for. The 8 hours you spend in school isn't 100% reading and writing. Nerds have time to be liked by peers. I also know for a fact that popular people might avoid the books b/c they think they aren't smart or patient enough. I do believe that the world would be better if nerds and popular guys get along.
Ryan
· 2 years ago
I was a nerd in high school but because I was on the wrestling team I was allowed to eat with the wrestlers and therefore some of my lunchmates were popular kids. This did not, however, make me de facto cool. I still got pushed around by some of the other, non-wrestling jocks and outside of the wrestling season I did not eat with those students anymore. After I returned from Germany and began my senior year, I had considerably more friends as people were curious about my trip but the curiosity soon wore off. I landed a major role in the school play and made many, many friends but since they were also in drama, I returned to the world of Nerds.
Now I'm the mac and it has made the past all worth while.
vts_vts
· 2 years ago
Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant!
Arjun Lall
· 2 years ago
Amazing. I just read this in the first chapter of your book and thought to myself "This is so good! I wish PG would post it online so everyone could read it." Little did I know that it already was. Very cool, now I can send it to everyone who I wanted to share it with.
This should be required reading at all high schools. Cant wait to read the rest of the book in between my hacking binges.
maco
· 2 years ago
Wow, great analysis. The boredom, I think, could be remedied at least a bit if they stopped teaching the same thing every year and started challenging the kids. If they stopped telling curious youngsters to not worry about something because they won't learn it for years, that'd be wonderful. Being told, as a first-grader, that I wouldn't learn about negative numbers for a few more years was terrible. I already knew about negative numbers! It wasn't a matter of them having to teach me about them (as I said, I had already figured them out), simply acknowledging that I was right would've done just fine. Multiplication was the same way. Eventually you get tired of not being challenged and simply give up on paying attention, and then school becomes even worse. My computer architectures class as a sophomore in college taught binary. In college?! That was considered 6th grade math in the not-even-challenging school I attended throughout my childhood. The problem extends all the way through the secondary years, apparently (though, admittedly, the *rest* of computer architectures is very difficult). Things would've been a little better for all us nerds and geeks growing up if we'd at least been able to exercise our grey matter in school. Instead, that was relegated to books and flashlights in bed or hiding books to read under desk while ignoring the teacher.
Manny
· 2 years ago
WHy didn't you add the popular girlfrien part from the French version in this version
Rodrigo Gaytán Fregoso
· 2 years ago
I think this essay shows and criticize one part of american society, it is in fact remarkable how throughout decades the concept "Life in the school/Life at school" essentially captured in this essay, approach us to understand behavioural tendencies when whe where at school, and in some cases, how our kids are like, facing this daily-motion experience in hope to crash the "eternal" system. I really appreciate that the writer took time, and transformed it in space filled with consciousness, and seeks to fix this affair by motivating children to fix their problem. I think this awesome writer, can improve the essay by studying a little bit of latinamerican education and how those countries have somehow applied this psyche-deteriored ambient on their schools, take for example Mexico.
Trevor
· 2 years ago
Your analysis is very interesting, and major problems defiantly do exist in the education system, however in my high school I don't notice a correlation between smart kids and unpopular kids if anything the reverse is true however in my high school their is a lot of pressure to do well average gpa is about 3.45 and almost all students go on to college. I actually feel academically challenged for the first time in high school because i was given the option of taking honers and even college level courses, thus i feel the problem with our education system is the redundant and pointless curriculum that dominates primary schools.
- J
· 2 years ago
very true. I go to a British public (not the way you use it, that would be a 'state' school. A public is school is an exclusive branch of private schools like, say, Eton) school. I'm lucky in that there isn't such a popularity contest as there seems to be in the US, though it is still very present. Partly because of school uniform - and strict discipline (anyone caught using drugs will be immediately expelled. The discipline in state schools however is infinitely laxer.
I would consider myself slightly 'arty,' and if I had to place myself in a social ranking I would be just above average. I'm odd though, in that I have close friends who are in the Rugby A team (a sure-fire ticket to social stardom) and nerds who spend lunch break looking up upcoming video games on the internet. This has its drawbacks, as in I am invited to parties where I feel very uncomfortable, or drawn into sports conversations I honestly couldn't care less about.
Partly because I am what I like to call a 'secret geek.' I am ashamed to say that I pick on those who are truly unpopular like everyone else, when in my heart I do the same things they do. I just don't tell anyone. I often wish I had someone to debate Buffy the Vampire slayer with, or to write with on a pbp rpg. But I shroud these things in so much secrecy, because they're existance would send me spiralling to the bottom of the social ladder.
Wow, this really mutated from 'i like this essay' to an introspective on my life. It feels good to type this, safe behind my iron curtain of secrecy. Anyway, I really like the article. It's very true.
- J, of Guildford
Dead in life
· 2 years ago
The story is very true here is another nerd, who is just finishing school and doesnt know where to go, my aspiration is "the sky is the limit", no wonder why I dont like those people who say "you can become a doctor" for I dont want to become a doctor, there are doctors !! I may like to talk to anyone of you here ( because anyone has read this page and is reading the comments must be a little geek) so you can find me in Yahoo Answers "hidden" under the nickname of WISE_monkey . I would really like to chat with you, by the way I am a born christian-arab (dont activate your hearsay system) , but I dont care for all those racism, because i know that we all humans share one thing, for we are VERSION 2 OF MONKEYS.
peace on all
cathy
· 2 years ago
I think this would be great to make into a book for middle schoolers. Add some awesome illustrations and they'd love it.
Emily
· 2 years ago
This is an awesome essay! It is so true. I am in ninth grade and am probably in group C, occasionally drifting to D. I have thought before about the fact that schools are pointless, but your essay really helped to explain it to my whole mind. I think all middle schoolers and high schoolers should read this. Fortunately, I am one of the few who have a bit of use in society. I got some prints of my artwork into a local art store recently and hope to add more soon! :) (my website shows them)
Answers found!
· 2 years ago
Wow sir I would like to thank you so much for this. I'm in 9th grade now and have ranked all the way from A to D in my 9 years of public/private school. I have a world history class following the that exact model of "7 major Egyptian developments are... and then on the test: What are the 7 major developments from Egyptians?" I was beginning to question the whole system when I found your site! Thank you so much for the advice!
tiffany
· 2 years ago
i think this is you ranting to make yourself feel better. and so all the nerds can join hands and say "wow , we are so cool, UNITE". i disagree with a good amount here. Popular kids get popular not because they strived so very hard to want it (everyone wants it, few are chosen) but because others gravitate towards them in the early years. Popularity starts as soon as youth is grouped together. as early as they can differentiate between someone attractive, and someone unattractive. i don’t know what schools you have been to now a days old timer, but these days nerds are a little different. we have two sets of nerds. the ones who are actually smart, and than the stupid ones who don’t do their homework, but just look like nerds. just because you're a nerd, doesn't mean your smart. And its the "cool" thing for popular kids to get good grades, or be "perfect". Sorry to tell ya this but times are changed. too bad you weren't born in this generation. Smart is the new pink.
If you are anything like me you will try to analyze what I said to find out which category I am in. well I’m going to ruin you fun and tell you. I’m not in the popular crowd, but Im definitely not a nerd. Luckily I popped out a female and as we all know, the anatomy of a female (no matter what she looks like…ok maybe with a few exceptions) gets a heads up on the scale of any nerd. Aka, a nerdy boy usually looks worse than a nerdy girl. I’m getting off topic… my point being I am not a nerd. Neither did I get good grades. I’m terrible at spelling and grammar and its embarrassing how horrible I am. I guess you could say I’m … a little slow, at everything. I was a ugly little thing in middle school but by the time I reached high school popularity groups had already been established, restricting me to only jump up a few notches never allowing me to reach the most popular peak, (which I didn’t care much about as long as I wasn’t an outcast). I also didn’t care because what really mattered was what the boys thought of me, not the girls. A popular girl could trick herself into thinking I’m not competition because of my social status conducted from previous years before, but males at that age don’t thing with that part of their … brain? I guess you could say.
I’m only telling you all of this because I have no mental challenge at the moment, ( I dropped out of high school because my eating disorder was taking over my life and I’m getting my GED, but I haven’t had a good assignment in much too long) and I was looking for some mental stimulation. So thanks for writing your thesis, so I could critique it.
Eva
· 1 year ago
In a fine example of proving the article right, here we have an undefined middle-ranker picking on an adult ex-nerd to make herself feel better for being a beached whale with an eating disorder, all under the guise of 'an assignment' without realizing that personal opinion have no place in true academic critique. Quite a self-centered conclusion to her little rant as well.
Harrison
· 2 years ago
excellent! Wish I'd have had this to show my parents 8 years ago - they'd have believed me! And as to that previous comment, the poster has no idea what she's talking about. I started at the *lowest* end of my popularity scale in elementary (being much too smart for all of pre-post-secondary school), and ended up in the second highest (because I started "Working" at popularity, as you say)... and I have exceptional friends at every interval both above and in between, and I'm going to save this essay on my computer as food for thought, and hopefully I'll still have it when I have my own kids, to remind myself. Fabulous insight. p.s. I'm still a nerd at heart. I'm in one of the best engineering programs in [my] country.
Teresa
· 2 years ago
Here in Australia we dont really have 'popularity' everyone is equal. Also, if you are gifted with intelligence, you will be looked up to
Greg
· 2 years ago
Good essay. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that school is a massive fake. It's funny I read this today because earlier today I was looking at all the "motivational" posters (The only thing they've motivated me to do is to be pissed) and was thinking about how much of my life was just a part of this sham. It's sickening. As far as my schooling ( Which is CONSTANTLY interfering with my education) is concerned, it's not gona change. Once I'm 18 and can vote (Dennis Kucinich '08) I plan to participate in every local election I can and am going to pay extra attention to what is happening with the schools.
Kidney
· 2 years ago
tiffany doesn't know what she's talking about, I'm a freshman in a small charter school too small for a real "society" so to speak but I went to a normal middle school before, in which case it was very active there are both kind of nerds yes, but the "stupid" ones are not usually nessesarially stupid, they are just not willing to waste their time doing the the same bullshit over and over again, and in fact realize the fact that school is just to keep us out of peoples way.
Once you get into the 7th grade the system becomes so screwed up that you stop learning entirely. Like in math, you waste your time with review of everything you ever learned about math half of the semester, and when they finally start teaching something new the repeat it so much that you don't make any progress. My guess as to why this happens is that they are trying to include people who "learn by repetition" instead of working with each student individually.
As well as that the nerds who get bad grades realize that the adults are trying to prevent this I've seen posters put up in classrooms that say things like "Question: When will I ever use this? Answer: You can never use what you've never learned." These are put up to counter the few sparks of brilliance the even the most dim witted people have, even if it doesn't answer the question. In fact it seems to me that it proves nothing. We know we cannot use it if we don't know how to, but if there is no where you are going to use it, than why bother learning it, but if you mention this obvious fact you're told you have an additude, or ironically that you are being smart.
Donda
· 2 years ago
I was a nerd in junior high, smart and going through some pretty difficult "growing pains." As a girl, I so desperately wanted to be "popular," especially with the boys, and I remember spending lots of energy striving to earn this popular status. While my hard work never produced a spot in the "A" group, I did lose a ton of weight and discover a dancing ability that placed me in the role of Pom Squad captain my junior and senior year. I dated a "B" member of the basketball team who was a couple years ahead of me in school and these things helped me maintain what I refer to as "B+" status. Like Tiffany posted, I do not believe it is completely being smart that defines these groups...many if not most of our "A" listers in highschool were the top of their class in terms of grades. In fact, this almost innate power to learn seemed to be the very thing that freed them to be able to focus their time and energy on developing and maintaining their popularity. I do believe that certain traits - physical beauty, self-confidence in front of large groups, athletic ability, money (to afford all the trappings of popular life) all seem to contribute to earning this elite status. However, maintaining one's title requires a lot of time, energy and attention. As I look back, I would have been willing to have devoted the time and energy to climbing the ranks - but there is a certain amount of "innate" qualities that one just cannot manufacture. Indeed, as one enters the adult world, the popular group becomes far more fractured. While there are people at the top of the pact, what places them there seems to change based upon the criteria of the particular setting be it the family, church, work, mom's play group, gym, etc. There is an unfortunate undercurrent of these tween and teen years that does, however, remain throughout our adult lives. As much as we may change, mature, and adapt on the outside - inside, many of us still fight the self-esteem and self-concept issues that were imbedded in us during our middle school and high school experiences. As a parent, it makes me more determined to not focus so much on protecting my children from the "world," but to protect them from this micro-system and to help them find an alternative way to pass from childhood to adulthood without being subjected to this degree of peer influence.
Alexis from Oakton High
· 2 years ago
what an incredible treatise on the decline of adolescent sanity! as I have suffered through innumerable accounts of teen-angst, this website is like a trove of intellectual pillars to support my weak and unformed ideas about what high school really means. I mean, in freshman year, I was so focused on academic and athletic prowess that I quickly withered because I was a nerd sans friends. So in sophomore year I got friends, conformed, and let my grades slide down into the ocean depths. And now that I'm a junior, slacking once more, I am questioning everything, even my friends, and the advice that we find something interesting is true, but basically, what i can really relate to is the responsibility kids need to be aware of. and your quote "Rebellion is as bad as obedience" will go down into the catacombs of my seven diaries. I want to thank you for your laudable efforts in creating this forum. it was of great assistance to me.
Cliff Schomburg
· 2 years ago
This is by far the most detailed, accurate description of what life is like in American public schools... or American government schools, as they are more accurately called. The government has provided us with a form a social welfare for our children, and their goal is not to train them to be thinkers, or even productive members of society, but simply to contain them until they are old enough to do something better. What is forgotten is that many of our great thinkers were published at a young age, some as young as 12 years old. Despite the natural challenges of being a teenager, there are many great things a mind can accomplish at a young age. Teenagers have become forsaken in our money-glorifying economic system, and they are left to fend for themselves. The author's insight and profound analysis are both accurate and important. This article has demystified much of my youth.
ninsane
· 2 years ago
WoW.Great article. I preferred reading this instead of the book I should have read for school... I was always curious about the american learning system. Guess it's the same old crap as here. I think we're given a lot more to learn, probably to keep us busy even after school ..
Farrukh
· 2 years ago
First, my appologies for skimming through the essay.
Second: Whssaaaooo, a very interesting piece. Looking forward to your Hard Cover!
Anon6
· 2 years ago
There were some very interesting points, and also many points that don't seem correct.
I would like to mention that as you have it stated, "Nerd" is not interchangeable with smart, and as a result you leave out the fact that there can be many intelligent people who still are completely social. This results in a massive hole in the thesis. Nerds, people who are smart and not socially adept, are unpopular. Wouldn't you also agree that people who are not socially adept are unpopular as well (That is to say the theoretical loner who has no friends. Even if people secretly think he's cool, as some girls think nerds are cool, he still has very little social contact, and is generally unpopular, because popularity must be recognized to be measured.) Thus what you really should be saying is socially inadept people are inadept socially! Popularity is a direct measure of your social ability around a group of people, and thus in a group of people (kids) who you are not adept socially, you are unpopular. It is very rarely, and you might say never, the case that a socially inadept person is popular among kids. In a group of outsiders who admire the "really outsider" kid, he is not socially in adept, but idolized and popular, and thus adept within that group.
Thus we are left with the other side of the coin. What if what you really are trying to say is that intelligent people are intrinsically unpopular.This is closer to the truth within schools, but demands that unpopular be defined for all subsets of kids. By your definition "nerds" already don't have the social ability, but the lack of social ability sprouts from "intelligent people" ignoring it! I have known many intelligent people who have not become "socially inadept"(for we are talking only about social adeptness, as intelligence *itself* is not unpopular), and I have known plenty of people with below average intelligence who are socially inadept. At the same time, those on the fringes who are not popular among those circles can form their own "outsider" circles, but can be just as smart as those outside and just as popular as others within their own circles. Given a large enough population in any given circle, bullying between social circles would not exist.
You speak from the experience that the outsiders (D table) only had one table out of everyone. What if the outsiders had just as many tables as the A tables? What if they had more? The common idea of the "common" high school student would be thrown out the window if they were less common, however in everyones minds they remain the same( the sports team/cheerleading partiers). However when there are more D than A, doesn't existing in group D give you much more popularity without as much social restrictions, especially if you already have been associating yourself with that group? If you have declared yourself a nerd, and now you enter an environment with more nerds than sports players, you are on top (college matches this perfectly). Intelligence itself doesn't cause unpopularity or social awkwardness now, because you are in a group of like-minded people who all value intelligence. Secondary schools could be exactly the same given the right mix of students, however there will necessarily be less like minded intelligent people because not all people go to college, and thus the ratios will be different. In today's high schools, intelligence has become a more popular thing to have that previously. It is not as important a factor yet as "fitting in", but given the right set of conditions, children will find the next big trend and just like your example of John Nash picking up new habits of the people he admired, they will latch onto the trend and run with it.
To sum up: Intelligence is not a factor in popularity, but associations and populations of like-minded people is. If there is enough people with the same ideals as you, you will have both popularity and social acceptance, whether this group values intelligence or field goals, or whatever. The current status of the schools can change, but the change can be seen in the students without new school systems given time and the right societal changes to redefine what is popular.
studyingbehavior
· 2 years ago
About the suburbs....I saw the same things happen in New York City schools. Now living in the suburbs as a parent, I am not sure the difference is that significant.
Nat
· 2 years ago
Wow, this article is really great and interesting. I've just realized I'm a nerd, all you say here is so true. I'm glad I'm not alone. It seems like schools in France are becoming just the same as in America. Thank you for writing this !
cyber_rigger
· 2 years ago
In my school we had an elite nerd crowd. It was difficult to get in.
"Popularity" has many faces.
A blabbering extrovert does not equal popularity in some circles.
The Eternal Squire
· 2 years ago
Outstanding essay. Excellent premise for an EdD thesis. Should be required reading for every school principal and superintendant!
Soruthe
· 2 years ago
Certainly a great essay with a strong point of view. Though, more than that, this essay actually gave me more in the way of concrete evidence that the stereotypes for middle school are actually derived from something tangible.
Though schools certainly vary.
In my school, there is no one society of teenagers. There is the main collection of students, divided into blacks and whites and grays. There is the main group of athletic kids, and then the other groups. The smaller groups lead happier junior high careers, are smarter (though not necessarily academicaly), and quieter. They are also close-knit among each other, and there are certain social classes that neither harm nor benefit. They look at the main group, with its intricacies and its drama, and laugh. I am one of the outsider group.
It's interesting to see how else a junior high system can be organized, but it seems that it all boils down to the same bubble and the same need for organization--however savage.
Though, the intricacies of junior high life are more likely than not infinite. There is a certain rulebook built into people's minds absolutely FILLED with exceptions and clauses. Popularity is not a black and white thing, and the society in a school is not singular. A school is a large enough environment to achieve numerous societies with their own social castes. The way you have written about it simplifies it: "popular" is defined by being liked within the largest society in the school. In reality, it is different. There are cliques which range from large to small, either having or not having social classes. Smaller cliques form larger societies of closest-knit cliques, in which existing social castes blend and conflict with each other.... As I said, the rulebook has infinite clauses. I say this coming fresh from this system on a Friday night after school.
So, you certainly might have included more about that in your essay. Though all in all, there's definitely a lot of good in it. Good job, and thank you for giving me something to think about.
Marie
· 2 years ago
I really appreciated this. I think I will make my mother read it, even though I highly doubt she will take it seriously as she seems to suffer from the illusion that she cannot possibly be wrong about me. It is good to know that some adults atleast appreciate that there are intelligent kids out there and that we aren't to be feared and put down.
blog nerd
· 2 years ago
This is an interesting article--I'm going to link to it.
My high school experience was a little different and doesn't fit the mold. It was an all girls Catholic High School. It was entrance by exam, college prep, and very competitive. When girls don't have to worry about being unattractive to boys, its a funny thing. They get smarter. And lacking achieving male attention as a common pursuit, they compete at being smart against each other.
While the smartest girls were NOT the most popular--which holds with your distracted theory, I found--they were not persecuted or unpopular by any stretch but greatly admired. By Junior and Senior year there was very little antagonism between the popular and unpopular girls.
I was by all rights a nerd but I ventured into the freak category in as much as I flaunted not studying--but this was to differentiate myself from the Grinds. I was NATURALLY smart, you see. This was my way of setting myself a part--advertising emotional angst and complete intellectual boredom. This eventually succeeded in getting me begrudging admiration across cliques--or at least it seemed that way to me. And while it prevented me from developing a good work ethic, it set me apart.
To show you how unusual the all girls competitive environment is: the most anticipated day of the year was rank day. Each quarter there was a clamoring as the class rank was posted. The top 5 (which occasionally but not usually included me) were quiet, sweet girls who worked hard (I was the exception, there--Lazy But Smart). They were universally well liked, for no other reason than they were NICE and eager to please but not sycophants. And the Top 10 was not without at least 3 or 4 of the most popular girls in school.
The real social qualifier, in most cases ESSENTIAL for popularity: MONEY. And you could tell who had the money even in uniform: by the earrings they wore and their shoes alone.
An unusual but interesting and, for a female, invaluable high school experience. If I could send my daughter to an all girls educational environment I would in a heartbeat. It never occurred to me in high school that being smart was a liability.
That didn't happen until I discovered boys and the rest of the world in college. Talk about a rude awakening.
DO not wake the Dreamer
· 2 years ago
I think this is stupid. btw im working in my computer class right now. i was just board :D
Arthur
· 2 years ago
Just thought id leave a comment. i did really enjoy this article like alot of you other ones, and allot of you theorys such as the distraction theory and ect. is so true im a guy and just compitition even if theres no one else going for a girl guys still act like pricks like me sometimes just to prove ourselves and its funny cause we are like monkeys. ha.. P.S. The guy below me (DO not wake the Dreamer) is very ignorant not because he said it is "stupid" but to have such a small statement not even to back it up (probobly Cause he didnt read it all) and negative comments for what? does it make him feel better cause he pts a "stupid" smile at the end of his sentence? I hate "Stupid" People
fraser
· 2 years ago
These are not new ideas, but one that many of us who home learn our kids have held dear. We have seen our children grow up without the negative socialization of schools and it is breathtaking. Not to mention it probably saved some of their lives. How can you put a value on that? It's hard to prove, but we see it all the time with our children so we have come to believe. John Holt would be happy to see this online.
jenai
· 2 years ago
wow nice essay. woww i finally understand the reason for nerds to be unpopular
kneller
· 2 years ago
Good essay.
K02
· 2 years ago
your essay was very excellent! i agree with almost words that it said.. it's very true.. it's like i'm the one who's writing it... you can really see what's going on... SO GREAT!!
Ashley
· 2 years ago
Hi ppl i kindda enjoyed this essay .It was fun reading it and lol forgot tat this is the first essay I've read and i liked it
Nicole
· 2 years ago
I can't completely agree with all that you said, but then again I went to a smaller school of about 600-700 people. Most people in our school didn't judge people on their looks, mostly personality, which I find justifiable since it's what counts. I wouldn't say that I was popular, but I did hang out with the popular girls, I just didn't know very many people or go to many social activities, I consider myself a nerd. But the girls I was and am still friends with were never cruel to people unless they were cruel first. We also often invited people who would be considered nerds to sit with us at lunch if they were sitting alone. So I don't think your points count for all high schools, at least not in my small Canadian town. It was an interesting read though! thanks.
feedtherich
· 2 years ago
Being smart has nothing to do with being unpopular. You just fail at social intelligence, which actually makes you dumb, in a sense. I also fell into this category, and I still do. I am not in denial. All the 'cool' things I've done or people I've associated with do not take me out of the loser category. But I don't care, because humans are pathetic and we're all going to die.
Holly
· 2 years ago
I liked the point made about how some students choose academic sucess over popularity. The route taken at this stage is crucial and academic sucess is the wiser choice in my opinion. This article was interesting to read as I chose to study hard in sciences in school instead of working my way up the popularity ladder and this lead to all the pitfalls the author described so well. I'm glad I did as now I'm in my dream role as an undergraduate dental student and am planning to use my degree to travel and work abroad! Wouldn't you rather be known as an intelligent person?? Holly x (Manchester-U.K)
missprettybrownhair
· 2 years ago
First of all... who cares if your popular or not? im not popular in school, and the popular kids spread rumors about me like im gay so i told the prinicial and social worker ( hehe). anyway, popularity wont last forever! once u finish high school its the nerds that become popular and get good jobs while the other kids that are the son of a b*tch will get stupid jobs like garbage men or maybe even homeless! those are the kids who belong in h*ll ;)
Anonymous
· 2 years ago
This is a great piece! I have to say I moved from Barcelona to a city in the U.S. and was extremely surprised about all this 'popularity' concept. People were classified, tagged, and criticized behind their backs to make themselves feel better or feel identified. I consider myself to be a 'nerd' in the sense that I usually think ahead of other people and am used to 'philosophizing'. However, being from Barcelona, people categorize me as 'cool' just for being from a foreign city and my decision on ignoring popularity. I have many friends who would be on the 'D' grade in your map, and many others who would fall into the 'A' category. But I try to judge them for who they are, and not for how other people tag them. Anyways, I think this writing is very true and reflects the situation in many American schools. Good job!
Margaret
· 2 years ago
Stop complaining, Nerds aren't popular because they don't have the same interests. I'm a Cheerleader, i'm nice. And i goto a public school? So what? Reading this was seriously, no help at all. To tell you the truth.
Dude
· 2 years ago
IMO there are just basically different things.
You just cant begin to explain em.
You cant just classify reasons why people are unpopular. Their are many.
The closest I could probably explain it imo is: Basically it just boils down to people being twats to a certaing degree, and people trying to not be seen as shit or whatever by the twats. And then them who are just noticed as people the twats dont like who find it hard to socially inteeract with others.
But ye even that isnt right. Theres just too many reasons :P
bug
· 2 years ago
Hey Im 15! I have no idea why Im reading this stuff, but I think its pretty much true!I was popular until my parents put me in home school for no reason!! IT SUCKS!! But when I was in puplic school (last year) my class was mostly popular kids so every time a nerd, geek or ''retard'' came their parents would ''mysteriosly'' pull them out of school!! We didnt realy have seprate tables, but most people would move if someone they didnt like came!!!
Pete
· 2 years ago
Hey 15!!! I admire you for at least reading this article and developing your opinion based on an evolving and complete (as close as possible) set of facts, not emotions. That is why your reading "this stuff". Your parents are home schooling you because they love you and care for your well-being more than anything. Think about it for a few seconds. Apply logic to the situation. Leaving you in school would have been less work and much easier for them. However, From your point of view, which I'm sure is omniscient, there was no reason whatsoever for them to pull you out. In reality, you needed to be pulled out of your particular public school because the quality of your literacy is revealed in your brief comment. Your school was not providing you with an education, unless "Popularity" is the highest paying job these days. Also, more bad news for you, if "you were popular (as you say and are so convinced that you were) until your parents (who wake up every day and try to figure out how they are going to ruin your life) put you in home school; you were never popular. If being schooled at home makes you so repulsive to your friends, then you do not have true friends to begin with. I'm glad your reading, but you have a lot to learn young man. You don't know nearly as much as you think you know. Keep reading, get informed and honor your parents. There is a great deal of excellent research on the effects of public secondary education. I won't tell you what it says. Check it out yourself and you just might be surprised. Good luck.
bug
· 2 years ago
that is the real reason my parents put me in home shool, because they wanna suprvise me!!! Im bug scrole down!
gurl
· 2 years ago
u kno this story is soooo true! its like my life sudenly makes sense!! But missprettybrownhair ur u-tube vid dusnt make any sense!!!
Steve
· 2 years ago
Though long, this is a great article that makes a lot of solid points. I would probably put myself in the C or D category of people back in junior high and high school, but the whole popularity and hierarchy thing seemed to vanish once I entered college.
It's just so funny to see how so much of your article applied to my life. Though I was a nerd during my adolescent years, I turned out graduating college with honors and getting a great job, and leaving the white trash bullies of past years in my dust.
Funny how some of the people who disagree with this article happened to be the popular ones in school. They seem to feel threatened that the nerds 'play a game much closer to the one played in the real world.' Too bad for them. They're also not the ones that are at the bottom looking up in this hierarchy.
Anonymous
· 2 years ago
You guys are so right about this whole thing, except that I haven't seen a lot of bullying at our school, but I have seen people laugh at the "nerds" as you say, behind their backs.
missprettybrownhair
· 2 years ago
ok everyone answer this question to see if your as smart as the kids in my class (and yes that includes me ) here's the question..... In Egypt there was a god that would judge people when they die. this god's name is.. a. Anubis b. Osiris c. Isis d. Amun- Re
if u get this right i will give u an award and if u want i will talk about u to my class so that way 22 people u dont know will know who u are
cultofmetatron
· 1 year ago
a anubis
Eva
· 1 year ago
Knowing a detail of Egyptian myth doesn't mean you're smart, dear, just that you know a random factoid. There's a difference between intelligence - actual mental capability- and specialized knowledge. There's a reason IQ tests have to stick to general information, to avoid biases like that. The brightest kid in America would probably score like a retard if taking the test in Mandarin Chinese. It's not that she's dumb, just that this is outside her scope. Besides, it's Osiris.
blonddude
· 2 years ago
but u didnt say a thing bout being shy. I'm nerdy and shy! If i wouldn't be a nerd anymore, I'd still be shy, and what then? Ppl I'm not shy to like me, even popular kids, but the shyness made me a nerd, made me smart.
If I wasn't shy, I wouldn't be this smart. But w/e, live and let live. (anubis? hard one!)
John
· 2 years ago
I'm a nerd!! Nerds are awesome!!
Matt
· 2 years ago
Okay as I read the quote
"So if intelligence in itself is not a factor in popularity, why are smart kids so consistently unpopular? The answer, I think, is that they don't really want to be popular."
I realized I was lucky enough to learn this in 7th grade. Really being avrage just means they don't put in effort. I learned that because you want to achive more all you have to do is show that you put in the effert. ( Please bear my spelling it's math and science for me).
John
· 2 years ago
Things DON'T change when you leave school.
Being famous is an adult's version of being "popular at school" and look how they are treated by everyone else. No different than the relationships between nerds and popular kids - And most of them are simply famous because they're either good looking or good atheletes - just like school.
As for why smart kids are nerds.
The popular kids are: a) the best looking b) the best fighters and c) the best atheletes.
Everyone else in their group are gimps, the reason why nerds stay away is because they're smart enough to realise this.
missprettybrownhair
· 2 years ago
ok CORSICAN u haven't been on in like 4 days!! so im going to ask a different question to see if your as smart ( maybe even smarter) than the kids in my class. the question is.. what was the name of Ramses ll son?? and i mean his oldest son. is it... a. Semnut b. Istnofret c. Nafari d. Merneptah if u get it right u get a prize. and also if u want ill tell my whole class about u!!!!!! ill give u a hint about his son. his son was 50 years old when he became pharaoh and also u might want to check out the book " The Place in the Sun" that's where u might find the answer ;)
cultofmetatron
· 1 year ago
umm that only says if he read the same lil tidbit fact from some random factbook on ancient eqyptian history
theres a diffrence between knowing its this_string.equal(other_string) because of what the book literally said vs knowing the appropriate use between that and this_string == that_string based on understanding of pointers (Mr. grahm, please forgive the use of java in this example, it was the first thing to pop in my head)
IE: quoting random trivia is not and will never be an accurate measure of intelligence
<3 *=]
· 2 years ago
i dont think that being smart matters at my school actually some popular kids at my school are in honors math (the highest) and some nerds at my school arn't smart i think that personality is what determines your popularity anyway, thats just what i think =]
Eileen
· 2 years ago
I went to a prep school where good grades were generally admired. The popular people usually got good grades but were too well dressed and sociable to be nerds. There certainly were nerds, and although they weren't persecuted, they weren't popular, either. In several graduating classes the valedictorian (with the highest GPA) was a popular, preppy kid instead of a nerd. In my class I was the valedictorian, and I qualify as a nerd, at least superficially. I was unpopular because I was socially inept and poorly groomed. I studied, but didn't study much outside of schoolwork, and I still had time left over. I spent much of my free time sitting around doing nothing. The rest of the time I either played computer games that I sucked at no matter how much I played, or I browsed through fiction books. Only one person hung out with me after school, and my parents never let us go anywhere unsupervised. Part of the reason might have been that I came across as extremely clueless and apathetic and had a blank expression on my face all the time. (People sometimes ask me I understand English.) We wore uniforms, but while the other girls wore their skirts short and sometimes used makeup, I wore a skirt that reached down below my knees by a good 2 inches. I also wore glasses, and had crowded teeth (my parents didn't believe in orthodontics) and an unbelievably bad slouch that I didn't realize I had until after I graduated from high school. My fashion sense was determined by my parents, who bought everything for me. They wouldn't buy me jeans, anything low-cut, or short skirts. I also had no clue about makeup because they didn't like it. I grew up thinking that looking fashionable was something that would be utterly beyond me, but at the same time I thought it would be so cool to be a model. Now-a-days I'm usually too lazy and unpunctual to dress nicely (I'm always running late), but at 26 I'm finally starting to try things out and be social. Fortunately, I can still pass for 21.
Paddy3118
· 2 years ago
Good grief! Americans are just across an ocean from the UK. Are you truly that different? Can you not excel academically and in sports? Can the school student not be happy independent of their academic record?
Tell me that you went to a bad, a-typical school. With your essay, and certain teen films we see over here, it paints a cruel and selfish portrait of American school life.
- Paddy.
Bored Nerd
· 2 years ago
Ah, the brits learn our dirty secret. This essay makes a lot of sense to me. One thing you said was very interesting to me:
"There was something else I wanted more: to be smart. Not simply to do well in school, though that counted for something, but to design beautiful rockets, or to write well, or to understand how to program computers. In general, to make great things."
I couldn't agree more. This explains a lot. for example, I'm a grade-A nerd (quite literally) but I don't try hard on boring assignments. I can admit I' m a slacker, for several reasons. First, I don't _need_ to try hard. I get good grades anyway. but also, I'd rather work out a tricky computer program or make yet another useless geometric picture-cipher than spend extra time reviewing for a test I know I'll do well on. nerds don't have time to be popular because they're thinking about things on a more abstract level (or maybe that's just me). I'm a nerd, but I don't care much about grades. It makes sense, really. in the article you talked about the meaninglessness of grades and tests. I'm smart enough to realize playing the game of perfect grades is a useless as popularity (well, almost). I just have more intellectually stimulating things to do than worry about my clothes. or obsess over essays. after this rant, though, I need to add that I do try hard on interesting assignments. I'm a perfectionist if I want to write a good essay for its own sake, if not for the grades. And a good report card is the ticket I need to slack off. Pass a certain point, and you can spend class time doodling on graph paper.
Anonymous
· 2 years ago
Im a Kid In And Enlgish School And Its All True
If Your Not Confident Enough Pretty Enough Fake Enough
Then Your Not Accepted
And If You Try Hard To Get Notcied You Get Called a Suck Up
Theres No Way Of Winning Its Quite Depressing ...Thats Why I Can't Wait to Leave School Not Because Of The Work Because Of The People
nerd killer
· 2 years ago
i beat up nerds like you ! i grew up killing your friends and my parents were the same ! us cool people hate you you scum bag ! eat dirt! i rape you in the showers while you scream my name 'again captain scott' i love ur buttocks grrrrrrr u nerd
Street saavy
· 2 years ago
You'd have gotten a eyeful of mace.
Non Rapped Nerd.
· 2 years ago
Oh wait, I do believe you just proved his point. Thank you for your perfect example. ;D (ironically, unless the nerd in question is being tortured by PE I see no reason for them to be even near your stink locker rooms)
Shovinus
· 1 year ago
Haha another idiot, I love what you wrote nerd killer, brilliant out burst, I think only my dog could have written something better. You stupid piece of insignificant shit. If you are cool then I hope I am not, I would hate to be the link to our Neanderthal past that you are demonstrating so clearly. You are the reason this world is in caos, you are the reason there are so many wars, you very exsistence is proof of devolution and lastly you are so stupid you probably have no idea what I just wrote. :) Have fun.
Scarred
· 2 years ago
So true. One thing you didn't touch on much though is that a lot of us never recover from the psychological damage done during this time. I never did.
who cares
· 2 years ago
LOL, im 36 now, from the UK. I'm reading posts from other people in the UK saying how different life must be in the US, but I have to disagree. I can draw parallels with what you have written with how things were for me, being a nerd at the bottom. Maybe the other posters with their perfect views of english school life were just like the adults unaware of what life was like at the bottom. And as for the 'Schools in England involve 85% of school children being socially capable of holding a conversation on their own...' bullshit
Fatima
· 2 years ago
I graduated in 1999 with 200 other students in the mid-west, and let me tell you this is exactly how our school was. Our school was small enough that the nerds and the freaks fit at one table, and we shared enough traits it was hardly worth differentiating. I despised the entire system so much that the idea of college turned my stomach because I believed it would be an extension of high school except I had to pay for it. Now I have a career with a fortune 500 company, a husband, and two kids. Looking back I see the same traits you reveal. I remember telling myself at the time that the things I occupied myself with were more relavent, but that doesn't stop the sting of teenagers' cruelty as it's happening to you. You just endure through it and hope you discover you're right when you hit the real world. Fortunately I was. I did, however, have to put real effort into correcting my social awkwardness that had, indeed, become a strange form on defence in school.
Me
· 2 years ago
I'm from the UK, and I'm in 6th form and what you said appiles to my school and I think every school. This year in 6th form I've noticed a change in the social structure, all of the smart kids seem to be grouping together and the 'popular' crowd seem to have their own group that isn't really considered 'popular' anymore. In about year 8 I was friends with some of the 'popular' crowd but I didnt like them very much because they were always bitching about each other so much. That's why i tend to habg around with the 'freaks/nerds' I find them more friendly. True I dont hang around with the very odd people, but I wish I had time to talk to them more, because I am sure they are actually very nice people.
super-nerd
· 2 years ago
the life of a nerd is so difficult. It would have been easier if at that time we were able to understand the reason why we were different. Another reason a nerd mey not have been able to fit in was because he\she could not make sense of this fictitious social hierarchy...due to the fact that nerds were superior. Nerds generally are more aware and more true to themselves...we can see if a society is based on false values. What they prize we despise.
Ben Buurman
· 2 years ago
Thank you man.
I am a High School Nerd just like the ones you talked about here, and what you have said is extremely relevant, and is also an inspiration for when I get the middle finger in class for knowing what pi is.
Just 3 more years ;)
the simpsons!!!!
· 2 years ago
hi. i'm in 5th grade and live in australia. i don't think i'm a nerd even though i'm smart(and i mean REALLY smart) everyone kind of ignores me. i've only got 2 friends and everyone else has like 50 friends. thanks for your message, it has really got me thinking about stuff!!! =)
F
· 2 years ago
Hey man... I would probably be one of those "freaks" you discribed, and I would like to thank you for bringing some of this out into the open. I've been saying this shit since middle school, and I finally found someone else with the same ideas.
Hey, I'd just like to say thanks and that your essay is brilliant, I'm out of high school now, two years, but I still remember what it was like and while I wasn't usually actively picked on (I wasn't a small kid so I guess potential bullies thought twice often as not passed about grade 9), I was still ostrasized and it's still effecting me now, I spend alot of time in recluse just thinking about myself in the scheme of things and.. regretably often of my place in the social heirarchy that exists among people my age. Your essay has really helped put some perspective on things, at least another perspective to my own that I can consider,
Thankyou
Admin Dude
· 2 years ago
great essay man, I'll come for more : )
matt
· 2 years ago
If I were to be caught reading this now (at school) it wouldn't be good.
Rachael
· 2 years ago
I am a senior in high school. Often I feel myself losing faith in the world and in people. But like you said, that is because my world is high school. It's fake, cruel, and often just full of superficial alliances, drinking, sex, parties... Often I feel off center, like the world doesn't fit with me...I am fortunate enough to have formed acquaintances and a solid group of dependable people...(no one really bullies me now that I have "grown") Yet, I remember the worst years of my life, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. I was lost and alone. I can relate to what you wrote here completely.
aseashell
· 2 years ago
im not smart but i am considered the highest popular group
Timbo
· 2 years ago
Great essay dude you really hit the nail on the head. I wouldn't call myself a nerd because I've occassionaly hung out with the "popular" kids but there have been plenty of times when I feel like I'm on another planet from everyone else. I'm a freshman in college and all I can say is life gets better every year. I think the quote that's sutiable for this essay is "life my not be the party you hoped for but while there you should at least dance".
RHCP rules!
Vorlondel
· 2 years ago
Your essay is truly a God send, while I suffer no real pain from individuals now, for I’m a Jr. in High School. Also, as you stated, my father just so happens to be a geek (he was in on the first green screens), who was left to his own in school. However he was an introvert so his proportional solitude was bearable, and desired. Also i am apart of a wonderful program called Academic Decathlon, which is a place where nerds (or non unsmart people) can live in comfort. i my self was so received to find that in this heaven (a certain teacher's class room) are people SMARTER than me.... I was stunned and joyed. so the nerd herd lives together, in harmony and we naturally scare off all jocks and the like.
I, for the record, would like to reaffirm one point: I don't have perfect grades... nor to I really even care about the grade beyond getting accepted in to collage. My passion is Math and my hobby is writing randomly. I neither need nor care about the grade because my life doesn’t revolve around them. Grades are only as good as the person behind them.
-Vorlondel-
northfacekid
· 1 year ago
I am a nerd and proud. Nerds are accepted more in my school because we help the popular idiots with homework
Shovinus
· 1 year ago
Hmm nice collection of thoughts, I have not read it all because man it is long but here are some of my observations in an english not american school, we to have a hierarchy but ours is less brutal than yours, children here are often protected from bullying more. These observation are not global, some do not obey these as laws. 1st observation - To become popular often you first need to believe yourself to be above others, if you do not believe this yourself then how will others? An automatic response to this is to believe you have the right to pick on those you feel are below you. Once you do this you notice it gains you popularity and often will continue to, until your popularity is based on your ability to belittle others. However a smart person learns quicker, everyone gets trod on by someone, and a smart person very quickly learns empathy, the ability to place themselves in someone else shoes. I know myself I could never belittle anyone else for a simple reason - it could be me, and so my popularity never grew via this method. 2nd Observation - It is human genetics and most animal genetics that automatically make the strongest and most confident man or even woman the alpha man/woman and not brains, and it is true alot of people have one or the other and not both. Why? why dont clever people wish to make themselves footballers, and compete? Well often they dont see the point, it is hard physical work, why would you need that if you have brains. Actually you are looking the wrong way, often people become clever because instead of going to kick a ball around, they stayed in reading, or even watching tv (yes tv can teach you somethings) again drawing from my experience, I liked to play football, but I liked to read just as much, there is another reason I prefered to stay in (see obs. 3). Observation 3 - Smart people often lack good social skills as children, they see things differently and do not like to talk about meaningless things such as going to school, they wish to talk about possiblities and things that often the less smart have no idea about, and this will always be one of the biggest dampers to conversation, People hate what they dont understand and so the less smart will try and shut up the smart, again this is automatically seen by others as a show of power, and so one loses rep for not standing up while the other gains for pushing down. They also lack the social skills for other reasons in ome cases, for exam they consider other people more (see obs1) and so do not wish to push in and so the conversation will go on without them saying anything (not good), when they do say something it will be misinterpereted because they know what they mean,but telling it to someone of less intelligence is not so easy (like trying to open an excel 2007 with excel 95) 4th observation - I actually have met some very intelligent popular people, who for the very simple reason that smart is seen as bad do not wish to be seen as smart incase they are disrespected. Alot of these reasons work back and forth between each other, however it is good to know that those that have problems normally get passed them as the get older, though to say that the hierachy is not there in adults would be wrong, atleast the way people see each other can stay the same for life, I know grandparents that still despise the smart/popular/sexy/ugly for no reason other than it is what they learned to do in school. These are my thoughts, maybe I am wrong, and I agree with most of what I read of yours.
Shovinus
· 1 year ago
Oh to update my observations, to all you clever people out there, I was once belittled and among the unpopular in middle school, but in high school I learned something, number 1 rule to get along in life well - DONT CARE - go and talk to those people you think are more popular, have a laugh with them, show that you are not uncomfortable talking with them, sure at first they may still kick you but after a while they will get used to you, never push it, learn when to be quiet and when to talk. Do not hate them because they are different everyone is different, how are you any better than they just because you have brains? or to you popular guys how are you better just because you look good? By the time I left high school there was hardly anyone that I was not friends with because I learned to accept them for who they were, all of them, and they in return respected me. This maybe harder for you to comprehend in america, where judging from tv you have a really *ucked up social system, but I bet the principles still work, use your brains, watch other people, learn from them. I am trying to help you because I know my time at the bottom was not nice, while my time at the top was brilliant. I know there are some meat heads out there who will reply to this saying something highly intelligent such as "That was the biggest load of turd ever." to those that do - if you aint got something nice to say - "SHUT THE HELL UP" PS it helps if you do gain some muscle to defend yourself ;)
Shovinus
· 1 year ago
You seem to think that popular is based on the footballer, cheerleader, ideal of a person, this is wrong, you have to understand, to be popular, by definition you just need to have alot of people like you, you dont need to be in the coolest group. For example if everyone in a school was friends with everyone else in the school who would be popular? answer everyone. What you guys want is people to like you yes? So be yourself. For the benefit of the younger me, that kid who is getting bullied for being different, be yourself, do not allow other people to push you around. Talk with people dont block them out, do not be shy, if you are shy people will see it as weakness and will prey on it and you will just become more shy. I may sound like a blathering idiot, and sometimes it is hard to communicate exactly what I mean. However I have been from the lowest of the low to the highest of the high. I am not stupid, I have an IQ last tested of 150, but none of it matters if you do not have friends, they are what support you, they are what make your life bearable, you can strive to be like those footballers and cheerleaders if you want, but you have to ask yourself, what do you really want, to be a stuck up arrogant morron or to have friends, because at the end of the day I will always go for having mates. "divided we fall, but together we stand tall". I will tell you a story about the difference having friends can make instead being the guy that makes everyone else life a misery.
"I was once in a club with my brother, fairly drunk, my brother is 2 years younger than me and a "popular" kid, I love him though, and will protect him no matter what. We were just standing talking to other people when another kid came over and started to punch my brother, again and again, with another big guy stopping people from getting near, at first I was shocked because I had no idea what was going on, I thought maybe he had done something, so I started to walk over and said to the guy "hey what are you doing, what has dan done" at this point no-one else was coming at all to protect dan (my brother) and the big guy just says "stay out of it", so I said "no he is my brother, tell me what he has done" at this point the big guy swings for me and I catch his hand, the guy that was hitting my brother stopped and swung for me 2 but I catch his hand aswell and hold on so they cant swing at me, at this point about 30 of my friends, swarm around us and push us apart, my brother walks outside and heads for home, while I am standing in the middle of a crowd of people all stopping these guys from getting anywhere near me, it is then that I realised who my friends were and that I would not give them up just to seem like the popular person. Those were all people who I had just accepted and talked to as people. It is even funnier that I later became mates of sorts with the big guy because he respected not only the fact that I was the only to stand up to him but that everyone else rushed to protect me but not my brother. "
There are many bullies who you may think you are above or better than, there are many snobs that you may think you are better than, footballers, cheerleaders, even bums, and tramps or your average joe. Let me put you straight, and if you are clever and of open mind you will understand this - "You are wrong". You are not better or worse than anyone around you, you are different everyone has been shaped by different lives, by different genes, but at the end of the day if you do not understand that, you are just as ignorant as a racist, nazi, or whatever, that may be hard to take, and I am not saying you should let people get away with what they want, you shouldn't I am saying that you should manage to understand that - in their shoes you WOULD do the same. So next time you talk to a "cheerleader" or "footballer", talk to them not as a superior or inferior person, but as an equal. Most important of all even more than being clever are friends and enjoying yourself, life, is for the living, live it, dont hide away and watch it go by. If you are lonely you can come on here and talk, I will talk back if I am around, but dont get sucked in to this, get out, make friends. Please listen to me, I have seen too much misery in this world caused by one man wishing to be better than another, as soon as the world understands we can live as equals it will be a much better place to live.
someone who is anonymous
· 1 year ago
do you know that some people just dont want to be popular or just like to be alone sometimes? being popular doesnt mean you're loved, it means people who dont even know you like you because you're pretty or you do something for them. being loved is for who you are, that's not the same thing. being popular sucks, they're the most miserable people of them all.
Shovinus
· 1 year ago
I am not miserable, I am one of happiest people around, I wanted to be alone aswell, I spent my time hiding in the library in middle school. I wanted to be alone, but not because I didn't want friends, because I wanted people to stop picking on me for being different. Having too many friends can be worse than having none at all, if you have too many they are likely to not be true good friends, and you may turn around one day to find they have all moved on or something, but that doesnt mean you should not be nice to everyone. I am not trying to preach here, if you are happy where you are at, I say to you stay there, but if you are one of those people who like me used to sit in the corner alone and sad, try and change it, dont keep sitting there, the problem propbably wont go away. I have a good friend who is stuck in a rut that she has worked herself so deeply she does not want to do what is needed to get out, she has left it too long and ahs got used to being sad and alone, I watch her and I try and pull her out but at the end of the day she has to be the one to change her situation, I can provide a ladder but only she can climb it. My message to anyone stuck in a situation alone is that you dont have to stay there, climb out, find your strength of will, the longer you leave it the worse it gets.
I dont know what more to say, there are people out there who want to get you, who are so selfish and narrow minded they cannot see beyond their own eyes, but be happy in knowing that you are not them. They will have problems all the rest of their lifes most likely, whereas you can step out and change your future. Also be happy to know that if you look properly there are probably alot more people willing to help you than you first believe. I am one but in every society there will be others there to help.
L
· 1 year ago
I think acceptance is part of this issue, not just a lack of trying on the nerds part. Although there are of course those of us that just wish to not be a part of a large group. I was a nerd who liked to be alone much of the time, not to say that I didn't band together with a few other nerds who often had the same thoughts I did. Once you are at the nerd level of society in school there is very little, if anything you can do to change your status. Even being exactly like the 'popular' kids won't save you. I used to get irritated with kids who thought that changing would save you. I have no intention of allowing my children to go through the same things I did in Jr high and high school. I don't know as I will attempt to change the current system so much as change how I work within it. I will probably have my children home schooled and if they are interested in my business they can learn over my shoulder or I will find someone they can learn with in a business they enjoy. I am aware they will still have to go to college to get the piece of paper that says you can have this job but that part will be a formality and hopefully easier because of the knowledge they will already have.
Alastriona
· 1 year ago
That was a fascinating essay. Very nice job writing it.
As a freshman in high school (and one of the smart girls who was saved from nerd-hood by good looks), I must say I agree. I went to an amazing elementary/middle school combo school, but once I got into high school... challenges disappeared. I've told a senior friend who agreed with me that the only reason I still go is so that I can get out of it, aka get into a great university so that I WILL be challenged.
Klasanov
· 1 year ago
As a senior in HS and a fellow nerd, I agree with this. Good essay.
As a guy who can't throw a football worth a damn and of average fitness level, I'm not high on the "popularity hierarchy", but I'ce also learned to not really give a damn, either in my senior year. Realizing this fact has made life a little easier.
Of course I'm also a bit older (20 as opposed to 17/18) due to not doing so well at school before (homeschool is much worse, let me tell you), and as a nerd, I'm not by far of the most unpopuar kids in school, mainly due to having built something up in creative writing class with my input (I've been doing it for quite awhile) and quirky humor. Of course it isn't the nerdiness that is getting me anywhere, but that I've learned some semblance of social skills in my time.
I think the biggest poblem for me growing up was never fitting to any of the "social norms" you find anywhere. I can get along with most groups now without really having to conform... Um, hard to explain what I mean, just that as time went on I've been with this or that group but always as an outsider. or something.
Damn.
I mean, good essay. Really hits home and gives me more hope for the future.
Peck
· 1 year ago
I completely agree. I'm a nerd too, and every day I get commented on who I am and the way I am. But this essay made me realize some important things and completely changed my view on society. I thank you.
14 year old Australian.
· 1 year ago
I am in High School at the moment, and agree completely with the essay. The Australian School System seems to be much the same as the American. I have changed much of my life to become 'popular', but i really don't think it is worth it. I started Grade 8 as a nerd and then became someone i am not sure if i like, for popularities sake.
Anonymous person
· 1 year ago
I agree with everything on this essay, it is 100% true.
Dan
· 1 year ago
Thanks for writing this essay, I've read it a few times. It gives me hope to carry on in school.
Alec
· 1 year ago
I just wanted to thank you for your essay. You have articulated some of my feelings in a compelling, eye-opening way.
Jess
· 1 year ago
I'm startin High School in 2008, and i'm smart but it only shows in tests but not normally. Everybody is buds with me.
Dan
· 1 year ago
Good luc with dat
Exhaust Fumes
· 1 year ago
As a mature adult that is experienced with social dynamics,
Before you can succeed in the external world, it's best to master your internal world. Zen meditation helps speed that process up by clearing up mind blocks.
It helps ease mind waves in a sense that it ask you to accept things are they are as they appear in the moment.
I recommend the Book "Zen Mind: Begginers Mind" to get started if you are interested.
1337
· 1 year ago
American Rugby players haha. I am a nerd but I am also a rugby player in Australia, I am going to a selective school I wonder how they will define nerd there.
grasshopper
· 1 year ago
Thankyou very much. You are lucky to have the support of good friends, like your group who did the popularity tables evaluation at school. I think you have a gift for writing, offering a simplicity and humour to deep seated primodial motivations, that usually bind denial even in nerds. The rogue male of the pack, often leaves to live alone as he doesnt want to compete or jostle within the group paradigm. Often he dies alone, away from the warmth of a mate and security of the group and family. Many famous and important scientists were persecuted and celibate..Adulthood does not always change things for nerds... many do not actively contribute to society because of the damage they suffered from ongoing persecution since young, often never developing social skills and becoming compulsive addicts and other mental diversions. Bullycide is not limited to schools. Oppressors too suffer. Bullies are not usually happy. The removal of ignorance is a path to enlightenment, for the detached buddhist. In the christian model of relationism to society, love and forgiveness conquer the bully whos gibes fall flat if they have no effect.....
grasshopper
· 1 year ago
Err, just explored you site. I thought your writing was too good for a school kid... my apologies. I just had an idea. Nerds couldnt really protect wife and children or the homeland from invaders as well as jocks? Imagine a country where nerds were given a place of power and art, science and engineering leapt ahead, peaceful, loving and understanding relationships prevailed.... the barbarian hordes would invade and plunder all that was good. No? Maybe the olde religions are correct in the teaching of light and dark, balance, yin ang yang....unless a new renaissance is possible? Will the lion really lie down with the lamb?
Hmph
· 1 year ago
Grrr... that would be a much better world to live in. Highschool is even worse... from what I've seen so far, no one is downright MEAN, but everyone just sort of ignores the smart people. But they have their friends, right? I'm a bit of a nerd myself and I have a few great friends. i have just as much fun as the partying idiots who think they're so cool now but are going to end up being lunchladies and minimum-wage workers.
stranger
· 1 year ago
i think that it's hard being in an amarican school .... i wanted to be an exchange student and study in amarica .... but i have second thoughts about it.... couze of that popularity thing ..... =) but from what i hear i thing that what is written is 100% true
grasshopper
· 1 year ago
Maybe nerds are idealists and not realists? Nerds have character defects and shortcomings like everyone else, they are not saints. "Unable to meet life on lifes terms" is a 12 step program of addiction saying. Is the accumulation of knowledge an addiction. Defined, addiction is a compulsive obsessive repitition of behavior that causes suffering to oneself and loved ones. Freud said neurosis is part and parcel of industrialized existance. In villages, nerds were medicine men and lived apart and were respected. Free nerds from the pain of public schooling!! Free all from public schooling!! Move to scandanavia and attend better public schooling!! Viva la revolution!! Smoke pot and escape!! Hang out with Kevinjonas he is god!!
majorghn
· 1 year ago
When I was in high school in the early to mid 70's in Pittsburgh PA, their was another group not mentioned here "The Greasers" which started in the late 50's to about 1979 when it got a "new" label by the well-to-do class of kids "White Trash" & later on "Trailor Trash". The "Real" Greaser class of kids were low income whites who smoked cigarettes, shop lifted constantly, had a juvenile record in many cases, cut classes, spen many hours in home detention, got suspended from school frequently, usually for fighting or got caught smoking in the bathroom. They wore their hair above the collar and slicked it back with oil based hair tonics, wore black stove pipe pants with low cut black Converse tennis shoes, and the main symbol of the "Greaser" was the "Black Leather Jacket" which in those days cost around $70.00 a tidy sum in the 70's. These inner city greasers could fight very well and often carried switch blades. I lived in the suburbs that bordered the city line and our high school football team played against many of the inner city teams....fights after the game were common. I, as a lower middle class kid, along with my older (1.5 years older) sister, indentified with the true greasers, as we had many things in common. Us neo-greaser class did not get messed with very often by the jerk football jocks because we traveled in packs and had a pretty good network of fellow greasers who would back us up if we got into a fight in school or if we did lose a fight we would call upon our fellow greasers and plan our revenge and "jump" the offender off school grounds, usually at a nearbye store where kids hung out after school or at a dance or game and pounce on the offending jock and beat the snot-out-of-them. We wore the same greaser attire as the inner city kids and pretty much did the same things as them except for getting arrested for serious crimes other than under age drinking, fighting, and shoplifting...sometimes a few would get arrested for stealing a car on a dare or for tshort term transportation. My dad and my uncle were cops so I had to be especially fast at running when the cops were spotted when we were doing stupid stuff as mentioned. I never got caught but my sister got caught sniffing glue by my uncle, she evetually ran away from home at age 16 and never looked back. I quit school mid-way through tenth grade....had 190 days absent from school anyway, so why not. I left home at 17 and bumbed around a bit and evetually went into the Army at 18 and got my GED while in the Army. I came back to Pittsburgh for about 9 months and didn't like civilian life and went into the Navy as a medic and later on while in the Navy started college classes and several years later got my B.S. degree. I am now a successful business owner. As far as nerds in my school, went we referred to them as the "smart kids" or "brains" and did not bother them, we actually got help from them occassionally (tutoring) for upcoming test, of course we gave them an offer they couldn't refuse...we even sometimes rescued them (if they were the ones who had helped us on a test) from being hasseled by the schools jocks...the school's jocks were out #1 enemy and we did not need much of an exuse to trounce them. Their were no computers or electronic gadgets like they have now, so the word geek was not formulated until the early 90's when home & business computers started to become more common place....this all led to the birth of the "Geek" or "Nerd" in the American high school vonacular....but as more kids got PC's these "geeks" became someone you needed to know and be friends with, even if it was on the "sly"....I heard a common practice among the popular kids in schools who had geeks help them with their home PC's and got "outed" was to say "oh, I paid some geek to fix my computer"..which in reality was bunk, their was usually no money exchanged at all, the geek did it to gain favors, like not getting hassled in school or if it was a popular girl, would do it for for the "ogle factor" or just to be liked for awhile by this great looking girl.
If your a true "smart" nerd reading these comments, remember one thing above all else.....what you do or not do in high school will matter when you graduate from high school...whether or not you go to college or not. Think of high school as a big fish tank with lots of other fishes......all of the fishes in the tank will eventually be released into the ocean, how popular, good looking, or athletic some fish may be in your tank will mean nothing once they are released in to the ocean......these good looking, popular, and athletic fishes will have an overwhelming amount of competition once released into the ocean with billions of other fish...their once "top-of-the pecking order status while in the tank may just now leave them feeling like a "Guppy"......it will be the smart fish that were in the tank who have the best chance of surviving in the ocean...brains matter folks. Stick to your chess clubs, your computer clubs, business classes, and stalk your school and local libraries.....it is the "Mr. & Ms. Bill Gate's'" of the world who will ultimately excel and be successful.....smart successful people in the "real world" are admired, needed, and in the end.....DO Get The Girl (or guy as-you-may).
depressed chick
· 1 year ago
I googled why and got this long essay... its just life for every1 2 treat u like shit no matter who u r!!!
Mike
· 1 year ago
Brilliant, I'm currently in High School and although nerd and smart are no longer interchangeable, much of what you said rings true.
Irish Aspie
· 1 year ago
Well written. It's not so aggressively bad as that here in Ireland. The divisions exist between groups but it's not so harsh. I was part of a kind of outsider group, some nerds mixed with pot users. Intelligence was not so frowned on by peers, moreso social ineptitude. By fifth (15-17) and sixth (leaving cert) year most students had developed an understanding that people deserve equal treatment. I don't know if this is because of transition year or not, it's an optional extra year in secondary education where there is some community work and work experience (a taste of the real world).
I do know that I visited my Aunt in America when I was about twelve I think I met a grouping of 'popular kids', a group of older siblings of my cousins friends. It didn't go well, I said hi and they looked at me as if I was a repulsive insect before returning to their previous conversation. I didn't understand at the time why. I know now, that, while I regarded them ar rather rude, they viewed themselves as superior to me and thus beyond their notice.
I would agree with the point of bordom causing the various class divides and I feel that I was lucky with the ammount of great teachers I had. The only class that I was kinda bored with was history/geography and that was because I kept wanting to correct the teacher (due to the fact that I was really interested in both subjects and was reading beyond the levels he studied). After a while I just started bringing novels in, it was a laugh, he didn't notice until another student pointed it out.
FlirtyChick
· 1 year ago
this bitch at school tried to be better than me and get me to be jelous and it worked so im going to plan b
Fernando
· 1 year ago
Great essay!
I think that what you describe applies to nerds/geeks everywhere. At least, it applies to what I lived through at a good public high school in Spain, the country where I grew up, during the eighties.
I don't think the problem in the US is necessarily worse than in other countries. The advantage American nerds have over nerds elsewhere is that they can come to Silicon Valley or other geek clusters and live happy lives right after high school graduation or right after college (if they didn't get into one of the Bay Area's schools and wanted to get a bachelors degree before going to work). .
For me to come to the Bay Area, I had to work very hard through college to be among the top graduates of my class, so I could be hired by an American company based in Spain so I could be transferred to the Bay Area. By the time I came here, I was already 26 and I found myself as an immigrant here. Even though this is as close to a meritocracy as it can be humanly possible made, you American geeks enjoy the advantage of having been born and raised in the country which is home to geek wonderland (therefore don't have to deal with language/cultural barriers)! So please, be thankful to that!!!!!
J Broshek Enyeart
· 1 year ago
There are things (like the stuff talking about Italy) in the Japanese translation that aren't included in the original (or I'm assuming the English version is the original). Why is that?
hi
· 1 year ago
this is retarded. your a nerd
Irish Aspie
· 1 year ago
(addressed to hi) You're a kid, I'm guessing that anyways. Insulting things that you don't understand is an indication of stupidity.
It was a very well written essay and happens with various levels of harshness in schools in the developed world, it depends on the teachers and the subject matter as to how severely the groups are defined.
amber
· 1 year ago
I'm pretty much a nerd in high school right now, and i think your essay is really good, and mostly correct. i think that i might have gotten a bit lucky though, because there're a lot of nerds at my school and while almost none of us are popular, we're not so much bullied as mostly ignored. School almost always seems pointless, too. i mean, when will i ever need to recite the different types of igneous rock or anything?
Dutton
· 1 year ago
So what does it mean to have something real to do? For the most part, the adult world seems to have answered that question with "survival." Not particularly inspiring, yet what more is being pursued by the vast majority of people? When we work as an employee to fulfill the responsibilities of our position we are working to increase the profit and thereby ensure the survival of the company. We do it not because we personally care about the company, in most cases, but simply because we wish to be paid a salary that will allow us to survive. We have kids so that we gain an illusory sense of surviving forever, through successive generations. A few even seek to excel in their professions to leave a name or some other public landmark behind after they die, a part of them that will survive on after their body has ceased to be.
I would say the meaninglessness of the teen years is mirrored by the meaninglessness of the mid-life crisis years, after career success has topped out and the kids have gone off to college. Nowadays people in that age group seem to have found renewed meaning through trying to survive longer, thus becoming obsessed with health fads. Or they want to survive into other lives through reincarnation, and so take up spiritual paths.
I suspect the only reason teens feel the sub-society they are in is meaningless is because their survival needs are taken care of by others. Ask a gang banger in the projects who doesn't always get food for dinner reliably provided by a struggling working parent or a strung out junkie parent how bored he is with life. He probably is disinterested in school except as his marketplace for the drugs he will sell to finance a trip to Burger King and hopefully some bling and more. Suburban middle class comfort is what has made all of life so irrelevant to the teens you write about.
What I want to know is, do we humans ever get past mere survival as the answer to life meaning? I don't want to come up with better ways to make people of any age group feel like they can meaningfully contribute to survival issues, and so foster a more organized and meritorious social system for them to live in. That would be better than the current situation, but still not good enough, still just a delay of existential angst until the later years. Is this all there is to human existence, merely to exist?
Ron B.
· 1 year ago
I thought this was very well written and forwarded this to half our friends. We had our own subculture in high school precisely becasue we realized how fake the whole thing was, and we wanted to get out into the real world. And after a college education where I went out and studied everything about the real world I could, I have to say I'm very happy with my life. I certainly wouldn't trade it for anyone else's.
This is a really great essay, and since I'm in high school myself, I know exactly what you're talking about. I was a nerd in elementary school, and though I may not be called that in high school, I can be considered as one of the smarter people in my class. The only reason why I'm probably not viewed as that because I do associate with the "popular" kids and I don't put them on a "pedestal" as most teenagers my age do. I really feel that action should be taken to change the stereotypical high school world because it hurts me to see the smarter individuals in my school breaking under the pressure of what their own classmates put on them. Sometimes, I do come home from school and wonder why school seems so pointless. It makes life seem like a dull and cruel place. All I want to do right now is to escape what seems like a dead-end life and experience greater things. Does anybody know any way that I can help stop this? Because I really want to make things better for the good of future generations.
nerds.have.all.the.fun
· 1 year ago
I loved reading this. You discussed things that I've always wondered about myself, and for that I thank you.
=) (Sorry, just had to throw that out there.)
taille
· 1 year ago
i just read this, and i can honestly say that i am one of those popular kids, i am not trying to rub it in or anything but i too admit that i have lived for what other people say for the past 4 years. i am currently in my last year of highschool and it is sad that i only realized this now, but after reading your essay i've realized that there is nothing wrong with being smart, or even being popular, but if it prevents you from being who you are then that is something we should all worry about
Sheila Casey
· 1 year ago
I graduated from high school almost 30 years ago and this essay caused me to muse on my own position in high school. The author makes a great point, altho the defining atttribute is not IQ. It is caring more about something--anything--other than social approval. Some people, and I know I was one of them, have a strong sense of self and aren't dependent on approval from others to feel good about themselves.
I don't think it would be possible to rank myself popularity-wise, in high school. I paid attention to my own friends and my own projects and didn't notice what the other people were doing, I was too busy with my own stuff.
By the time you become an adult, most people have become less dependent on social approval and more willing to be who they really are. It sounds like kids are more insecure now than they were in the 70s. That's sad.
Just aim for self-love and the rest will take care of itself. You can't please everybody, so find the people you respect and enjoy and they will be easy to please!
Sherman
· 1 year ago
It's interesting to see most of the disagreements come along with incomplete sentences, funny grammar and awful spelling. I think this proves all.
Emily
· 1 year ago
Haha, that's what I thought too. XD
Emily
· 1 year ago
I really, really enjoyed reading this. I am already a senior, currently attending high school, and I always wondered about this. I know for a fact that I am not a genius but I am an artist. Which is sad, because you don't find a lot of artist/s around regular high school. So most of the time I feel like I don't fit in. My friends in middle school got popular after 9th grade. They dressed and acted differently to make themselves to fit in and it really makes you want to vomit. Ew! XD Anyhow the fact is that I don't feel comfortable around those type of people. Thank god for giving me a chance to be able to meet new friends during my senior year. I never realize it until recently but I just love to hang out with nerds, dorks, in general smart people. I feel like I can actually relate to them and they are awesome!! How I see it at my school is that the way you dress already shows where you belong. It's quite sad. But I do agree nerds get the upper deck once they are put out in society, while the dumb ones lives in huts or somehow manage to live through paycheck to paycheck. =]
P.S. Please excuse me for my bad use of grammar.
French Cat
· 1 year ago
Excellent article, a pearl of intelligence.
It is astonishing to realize how much you are right by comparing schools and prisons, especially by reading this sentence in your reply to the comments that followed your article: "At my school, it was easy not to learn anything, but hard to get out of the building without getting caught."
However, I disagree with what is according to you the cause -or at least one of the causes- of that situation; you said: "I'm just guessing here, but I think it may be because American school systems are decentralized. They're controlled by the local school board, which consists of car dealers who were high school football players, instead of some national Ministry of Education run by PhDs."
French schools are not controlled locally but by the Ministére de l'Education Nationale (Ministry of National Education), and the problems are the same than in the US schools. At the time I was at school, we didn't have the same kind of categories you can find in the US schools (I'm speaking about "Freaks", "Nerds", "Popular ones", etc.), but the situation was precisely the same: being smart meant being bullied, and it's still the rule nowadays. Besides, from what I've heard thanks to people who are working (not as teachers, but as wardens whose work force them to be closer from the children and the micro-societies they create than school teacher) in French schools presently, this trend has eventually gained these schools: pupils separate themselves in affiliated groups such as "the gothics", "the skaters" (skate-boarders), "the rappers", etc.
Notice that I've precised that these wardens, are *close* from the children's world, closer than teachers: that's the node of the problem; having a statist national ministry in charge of schools run by PhDs won't be a solution as they, as well as the teachers and local school directors, won't have a real idea of what's actually going on in schools, being too far of the everyday life of (bullied) children to see anything.
So the solution, IMO, is "simply" to change the whole school system. Easier to say than to do, obviously; anyway I think that a good thing to do so as to expose the problem would be to make a documentary showing the daily life of a nerd at school, which won't certainly done or at least not before a long period of time...
By the way, a couple of days ago, in a French school yet not known to be a "difficult" one (understand by the euphemism "difficult": "ruled by violence from local gangs"), a teenager has stabbed another teenager for, what was previously thought, apparently no reason. But the reason has been discovered later: they had a quarrel about "which one would rule the school".
... Prisoners stabs each others so as to determine "who rules the prison" too... :]
FC
Carol
· 1 year ago
You achieved the seemingly impossible - you made sense of the high school mentality! Great article and so true.
AnotherNerdThere
· 1 year ago
Not so harsh Paul ! That system persecutes its better elements .. Such a stupid scuttling. Not the work of a nerd, be sure.
Marcus
· 1 year ago
i thought the essay was insightful in several ways. It shed light on several of the contributing factors which create this "prisoner's dilemma" including the contributions of the environment (suburbia) as well as the impact of modern methods of social stratification on human behavior.
I was called a nerd twice, that i can remember. I really abhorred that idea. But i think people, over time, had a problem labeling me because my social network was vast and crossed a lot of boundaries. And the attempts at labeling me really ended when i started playing football and after i started driving to school. As I began to buy-in to "acceptable" modes of social participation, I became more palatable.
But things I chose to do in high school, were guided mostly by my own volition. I was really trying to be popular - at school anyway. I didn't feel particularly popular at home. And I wonder if that is what made me prey for the other kids. Could they sense that I didn't feel that acceptable to my parents? So I wonder what the quality of the relationships between the parents and the kids who consider themselves - and are social labeled- as popular. I've spent almost as much time as adult as I did as a child. I think popularity and conformity still plays a factor. People still admire people that have money, are good looking, socially adept, fame, and high positional authority. But I suppose its easier to surround yourself by many people who think as you do as an adult. So if you want to remain socially awkward and focus on being really smart then you can do so relatively comfortably as an adult rather the closed system of junior high and high school.
Marcus
· 1 year ago
Correction - I wasn't really trying to be popular - at school anyway.
A
· 1 year ago
absolutely brilliant, you've mentioned things which i've always wondered about and even though i am still in high school, i am mature enough to understand what ur rambling on about. i live in the UK currently and things aren't very different here either although maybe less extreme than in the US... great work though!
Aaron
· 1 year ago
I read hackers and painters, and i have to say.. This is helpful, it really is. I just want to let you know that you're changing lives
Jerica
· 1 year ago
nerds choose if they are a nerd by acting gay
Tim
· 1 year ago
It is ridiculous to see you write that and know that you actually believe it. I personally cannot understand why you talk about "gay" as if it were a bad word, like "stupid". You think nerds get a hard time in school? How about a little consideration for the homosexuals? What makes you think they choose to be that way? There are so many little things in life that we "choose" to be. It's a wonder that we can change it as much as we can, seeing how society tried to block us into our molds and solidify us. Nerds don't choose to be nerds, because even though we say that they choose to pursue intelligence before popularity, that was decided for them by the way they were brought up, by other factors that influence their lives. In the same way, people don't choose to be gay, so stop tossing the word around like it's some type of filth!
Blade Learing
· 1 year ago
You mean the nerds choose to be nerds by not acting popular?
Dude, bad lag, the article already said that.
The only thing you added is an implication that not TRYING to be popular is a bad thing.
Eo
· 1 year ago
For me, the worst has been high school. All my friends in middle school were tried and true best-friends from elementary school, with a few others later on; I was actually fairly popular (despite being a little weirdo with hair that tangled into knots within five minutes, and who sat like a gargoyle, unable to put knees down) because people knew I had friends, and I also happened to have a ton of confidence. It helped a lot that this was in the middle of the city, and most people at the school were poor, so my cheap clothes weren't a source of mockery.
When I entered my highschool, in mountainous suburbia, life abruptly became hell. I knew absolutely nobody, not a soul. My hair, way of sitting (I still do that; I've realized with some pride that I sit like L from Death Note), my baggy and INCREDIBLY unfashionable clothes, and the fact that I knew the answers and didn't suppress them to look like a hot little idiot (the ideal girl at my school) were a source of vicious mockery.
Being a girl, I don't get beat up; however, my combined oddities seemed, by late September of the first semester of Freshman year, to have convinced most of the school that I was literally retarded. After all, how could a person not straighten their hair, dye it platinum blonde in streaks, wear skintight jeans and T-shirts or miniskirts... etc.
The problem is that my highschool is entirely composed of people who are at least in the middle-middle class; people who aren't can't afford to live around the school. Most people are rich or upper middle class. I am probably in the upper low or the lower middle; our house was cheap, and we don't spend money on the stupid yuppie things that everyone else does. These people have lived in this town all of their lives, in most cases, and believe, as you said, that this is actually Life. They believe that MTV is an accurate representation of what they should aspire to; the bar for appearance is set outrageously high, because my classmates can afford it.
Last year culminated in the mysterious leaking of the information that my role model happens to be Joseph Merrick, the Elephant Man. After a day of bullying, missed assignments, loneliness at lunch and generic mockery in the halls, at a time where I was in tech week for a musical, was too depressed to eat almost at all the whole week, and danced six hours a night in rehearsal -- I'd had enough. I was walking to the bus home, getting snowballs thrown at me, and trying to ignore someone who was just being stupid and annoying, about Naruto or some crappy show. Anthony, one of the biggest jerks in the school (and, predictably, a star on the football team) spotted me and began, loudly, to trumpet like an elephant.
It was about then I was going to just stand there and scream at the whole situation, when one of the special ed kids walked up and hugged me and said it was all right. Great kid, and for a while after that, I was almost happy when people whispered about my 'retardation'.
Thought I'd share that story -- Anyway; I love this article. A lot of the time, I get fed up with school in the extreme; I'm only in second semester of sophomore year, and things are unbearable again. My (violently bullied) friend from back downtown loves this article too; it helps make a little bit of sense of our stupid high school lives. When I feel like just quitting, I read this article, usually in conjunction with The True History of the Elephant Man.
---
· 1 year ago
I thought this was definitely worth reading. I'm a 17 year old highschooler and noticed a lot of good points. There were some that I never even thought of, while others seemed to critical (sorry I'm not more specific.) Anyway, I think that you can be smart and popular. However, the kids that try the hardest to be popular usually are the most popular. In any event though, popularity is determined before most kids even realize it. Looking back on my schooling before highschool even I wanted to kick my own ass. I'm just as smart now, and still have free time for sports and friends, however, I already have to worry about a reputation that is no longer like me. Actually, I'm not even sure where I'm going with this... I thought it was an excellent essay that provided a lot of insight, good job and thanks.
123
· 1 year ago
The most popular kids do not torture the nerds because they do not feel outranked by them.... most likely because of similar physical attributions. And then the middle classes notice that these nerds are not taking any heat from the most popular kids…. while the middle classes are taking plenty of heat from them…. so the middle classes do what people do best and spread the hate.
Maybe the nerds have more in common with most popular kids than think. It seems to me you had enough time to draw a map and label people with your ranking. I doubt most people took the time in school to do this. So in your own way you contributed to social rankings; only I doubt you ever had the nerve to share your map with anyone outside of your ranking. Because you'd be stopped... most likely by one of the most popular kids. I mean this is the first I ever heard of someone drawing a map for this purpose… and I doubt you would have ever posted this map for others to see…. instead you gave it power by keeping it to yourself and only those you trusted could see it.
What is even more interesting to me is…. I wonder if this secretive world of your map drawing and the most popular kids scheming is really so different. You say a girl was afraid of being made fun of for being seen with a nerd because her friends would make fun of her. Well isn’t that telling in itself. It appears that the most popular kids would make fun of the middle classes for talking to nerds, instead of the most popular kids being mean to the nerds themselves. So the nerds went on thinking the most popular kids are the most popular because their not so bad, but the truth of it is just as the middle classes were unaware of cafeteria maps…. nerds were unaware of the real reason the middle classes were treating them so badly.
So wouldn’t it be interesting if the middle classes found out about the cafeteria map that categorized popularity then the middle classes may appear more justified in their cruelty towards nerds… and then if the nerds found out just who was making fun of the middle classes for talking to nerds-the most popular kids. Then what would be…. Probably both the middle classes and nerds would try to better themselves and not be so judgmental leaving the most popular kids to fend for themselves.
But before I jump down the throats of people who screwed me over….my question is… do we need to be divided to become united? And is that what the most popular kids are guilty of…. division? Lastly is it purely in their self-interest or without it is life more chaotic?
I always thought of the most popular kids as such a tightly knit group while everyone else was more scattered. But the reality is they've already turned on each other so since they are self proclaimed survivors they ensure that others do the same but all the while keeping things on an even keel.
123
· 1 year ago
My feeling is some popular kids or as I have come to know come to call the self proclaimed popular kids come from some disadvantage whether its parents who are tyrannical, have some physical abnormality like a 3rd nipple, or whatever... either way high school literally plays itself out as survival of the unfit. And they will do whatever necessary to shine light on others inadequacies to secure their place at the top of the food chain. Its that saying do not start a fight with someone who has more to lose. And its usually the nerd who willingly backs down from a fight. But maybe its just the guy hes up against has some body image complex and is jacked up on steroids- either way you get my point.
Mozen greezin
· 1 year ago
The best thing to do with the school system would be to dismantle it.
Leonard
· 1 year ago
as a quasi-nerd from the sixties I identify with your premise, college prep and some college , made my money as a carpenter, using mostly what I knew by age 10 essays ARE FOR EFFECT. Surfing in all form is, however, real. Unfortunately the social groups set up in High school seem to follow many through life. The "experts" in addictive sciences say a person stops growing socially when their addictions begin to bloom. From my perspective, growing up in the 50s and 60s in the outskirts of LA it appears true.
jas
· 1 year ago
I am the average kid, in secondary school. I'm 13/f and seriously think that this article does has a point. But sometimes, and believe me i watched it happen, when someone wants to be popular...It doesn't work. Because the populars kids don't want you to be popular. Trying to be popular just is natural to anyone, and your right, most people in their right mind would never want to be popular. Why? Because we know the back stabbing, the rumours, the bitchy lies, and (the worst) wearing the wrong thing! Who the heck would want to try to be perfect ALL the time?
anonymous
· 1 year ago
this essay is really brilliant. we are from Brazil (we will actually enter in high-school this year, but we don't think it may be very different), and here the life for nerds seems to be easier than in the United States... anyway, we have always been very criticized (sadly even by teachers) for our unusual habits. those teachers always said that we should "go out" more and "study less" (believe us, some teachers actually have said this to us in a serious way). many students have also made fun of us for the fact that we prefer to stay home and read about history and learn math than playing sports like most people in this age do. we just like the way we are, it doesn't hurt us; studying (not just school-related material) is a good practice and it doesn't affect people around us in any negative way, so why do they complain? why do they think that we should go out and "have fun" (in their own opinion) just because other people do? can't studying be fun? "fun" doesn't have an universal meaning; each one should be able to define fun as the things they like to do, so if we like to stay home and study, it's fun for us. fun doesn't always have to be "going out" and "socializing", and doing what the majority likes to do: not everyone has to like going out. someone has actually said us once: "you can't dislike going out, because NO ONE I know dislikes it.": this person certainly didn't understand that each person has a different taste. we also thought that WE were the ones who had some kind of problem, but now we realize that they (those who judge us by our unusual taste) are the ones who are misunderstanding the whole thing. we come from a "family of nerds", and we like being part of one, because our family supports us and understands us. some people think that nerd habits are undiscussably wrong, but they are being very small-minded. we liked what you said about American high-schools having no purpose. we also think that many teachers preffer to give students long and pointless work with the only purpose being the grades: the point shouldn't be the grades, it should be the learning. we also liked the comparison of the American high-school with a prison: we compare it with a jungle. one thing that we noticed here where we live is that, until 4th grade, the teachers always emphasized that they are like mothers. but, from 5th grade on, there started to be more than 1 teacher, and those many teachers for each class seemed not to care about the students' behaviour anymore, and that may be the point where their minds start to become completely twisted. the word for "nerd" in Brazil is "CDF" (an acronym in Portuguese which means "iron head"), meaning someone who studies very much. but what we don't understand is that "CDF" is used as an offense, and most people don't like being called that way. but why? what do most people dislike so much about people that like studying? this is strange, and certainly has something to do with the failing educational system, which is very bad here in Brazil. this is of course the situation in a whole different country, but it is very similar. NOTE: feel free to correct our English, if necessary.
leo
· 1 year ago
Amazing. I really like that. It really helps those nerds who arent introspective to realize that, and usually those that havent dont have the time to condition themselves
chelz
· 1 year ago
I'm a 17 year old nerd and there's no way in hell I'd want to be in the popular crowd, the guys all seem like horny jerks and the girls are mostly ditzy drama-queens. But just because one is a nerd doesn't mean he/she is unacceptable or gets pushed around at all. I'm a straight A student and a real science fanatic, but I don't take shit from anybody and consequently nobody gives me problems because they know I'll just throw it back in their faces, and those who don't know that learn quickly the first time they try anything. I'm usually the one pushing preps out of my way in the halls and if someone is being picked on I'm usually one of the people that glares the bully down and gets in his face until he lays off the other kid. But I'm not mean to popular people that don't cause problems, I'm never really offensive just defensive so I'm not a bully. As I said before, I am a nerd with no fear of what popular people think, for example I broke in on a drinking party once with my airsoft pistol and managed on my own to shoot every person there and took their alcohol and poured it down the sink. The abercrombie preps were too scared I was going to shoot them again to try to salvage their alcohol. But I don't hold it against them and I didn't tell their parents and even offered them rides home, so they don't hate me or anything and even if they did that would be their problem. And I don't think I have one nerdy friend who feels depressed about his social status or resentful of the popular people, because my group of nerds is completely happy with the great friends we have. If you're gonna enjoy your high school life as a nerd, it works best to have no shame and no fear and find stuff that makes you admirably different, (like I'm a female science nerd that plays paintball with the guys,) and to find a bunch of happy friends to mock society with. This was a great essay with a lot of good and relevant points, but I don't think it said enough about the group of strong-minded nerds that don't submit.
I do like everything stated about the school system though, I never thought about it that way - that school is just an institution for storing kids until they become of use. Although for the first half of my day I attend regular high school and am force-fed all the useless (for me at least) facts about history and rhetorical analysis, the second half of my day is spent at a magnet school full of specialized courses in math and science that are very useful, and the teachers genuinely care about turning us into the best scientists we can become. So I do agree that in general school is exactly as the author interpreted it, but the point of my whole response is that there are always exceptions.
(p.s. I don't know if anyone has pointed this out yet because I didn't read all the responses, but there is a grammatical error in this essay. 10 points to anybody that can find it.)
Alfred
· 1 year ago
"But to who?"
It ought to be "whom."
SJ
· 1 year ago
The use of 'till' is also incorrect ;) Great essay.
pushkina
· 1 year ago
These are the grammatical problems I found in your response:
"But I'm not mean to popular people that don't cause problems," ...instead of 'that' should use 'who' because you are speaking of people instead of inanimate objects...
"it works best to have no shame and no fear and find stuff that makes you admirably different, (like I'm a female science nerd that plays paintball with the guys,) and to find a bunch of happy friends to mock society with" should be: "to find a bunch of happy friends with whom one can mock society" [best not to end a sentence with a preposition..]
Bobby Rio
· 1 year ago
Great points.. I am going to have to link to this article.... I've started a complete program titled "how to be popular in high school" on my site... I haven't addressed many of the issues that you've brought up and I think this will compliment my progra nicely
sabinaq
· 1 year ago
Hi... I like your article, it rings true for me. My question is, why is this so much more true of North American secondary school, than secondary schools in Europe, for example? I'm Canadian, and experienced much the same kind of thing as you describe, so I would say that Canada and the USA share the same model of High School. However, things seem different here in Europe. I live in Spain, and have been here for 5 years. Prior to this I lived in Norway for 9 years. In both places what I have seen is really different from what I lived through in my own high school years. Kids in these countries seem much more integrated into the "real" world, and much less isolated from it than in the US and Canada. 2 things come to mind: 1. The kids seem more connected to the adult world, to adults in general. Less suspicious of adults, more trusting of them; they seem to have more of a feeling of sharing the same world, and of thus being less like prisoners, and more like interns... people who are at a different stage of their experience, but in the same shared space as the adults. 2. The kids seem less polarized into popular and unpopular groups. I haven't seen kids who are typical "unpopular" kids here in Spain. I don't remember seeing any in Norway either. Yes, there are groups of kids, groups of friends, but I haven't seen the unpopular ones as clearly as I have seen them in Canada and the US. I think they exist here, but there seem to be fewer of them, proportionately. The structures of the social groupings the kids are in seem less rigid to me, here.
All of this begs the question of why it is different in North America. I don't know - but I would like to!
madmatthew
· 1 year ago
Fascinating essay. Thanks for it. But as the parent of a high schooler, I can tell you that (admittedly from the outside) things seem significantly more humane for nerds and misfits in the '00s than they were in the '70s. I think Bill Gates has had an impact... though of course athletic talent still seems to trump all. But today there are math and science magnet schools, varsity letters for stuff like band and choir and academic achievement. And there seems to be much more attention being paid to vocational education, and no, not just in auto shop, which is where you seem to be going with your plea to make high school work have more relevance to what we all do in the real world. (One of my 17-year-old son's math tests recently consisted of real-world packaging problems that could be solved with equations.) And there seems to be significantly less toleration for open bullying and physical violence. However, it's still tough -- my 16-year-old 4.0 GPA daughter recently went through a "breakup" with a close female friend that featured absolutely stunning psychological warfare. But I have to hope that voices like yours are breaking through.
al
· 1 year ago
"Teenagers seem to have respected adults more then, because the adults were the visible experts in the skills they were trying to learn" Do you really think so ?....
just read this
The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.
this is by the way from socrates c.470 BC - 399 BC
I like your text but some of you theories are way off ;). I guess you are not an expert on many topics you write about ...thats somehow dangerous.But when you keep it simple with eating tables ranked A to F you are good.
"The cause of this problem is the same as the cause of so many present ills: specialization"
so why is that an ILL ? I am pretty sure no generation hat more whealts, health (lived longer) and more knowledge...So why is it ILL ?
SEb
· 1 year ago
Nerds aren't one step ahead, they simply lack social intelligence which is replaced by additional skills in subjects like (i know this is stereotypical) math, physics, chemistrie and (not so much though) biology.
SS
· 1 year ago
To the previous poster: To me (a nerd, and proud of it), there are two types of nerds. There are the kind who lack social intelligence, but they are generally happy where they are. And then there are the kind who are very socially aware. They have a tough time, because they don't fit in, don't really want to fit in, but don't want to be a loner. Anyway, there you go.
dat chick
· 1 year ago
i think the essay was good .... and it made sense .. but than as i thought about the popularity of people in my highschool its complitely different because the most popular people in my highchool are also some of the best students too .... only some smart kids get made fun of and it has nothing to do with how smart they are .. its just because of their personality and because of the fact that they think they are so much smarter than other students and they think that other students are dumn but the reality is .. they are just as smart as them .. they just chose to go out and play sports and not study as much .... if these "smart" kids were so smart they wouldnt be wasting their time making maps of how popular people are ....if these kids are so smart why cant they figure it out that they just chose to not be popular ... if they are so smart why cant they find happines .. the thing is as seb said "they simply lack social intelligence " and thats why i think they are considered outcasts .. and not because they are too smart ... i dont know if this made snese .. because sometimes i dont express myself clearly but i hope it did... anyway peace ...
Linda
· 1 year ago
Guys there is a world outside America, i.e. the world, which experiences similar problems. I can say from experience, that unpopularity is not about being intelligent or not being intellegent, in my personal opinion. Popular people can be very smart, unpopular people can be lacking. So in my opinion it is about being "different", especially in school which is a primitive introduction to adulthood (but an important one). Anything outside the square threatens people for some reason, it's human nature to conform to what is safe and known. My only encouragement is to be excepting of "different". This will enable you to grow as a human being, to allow your focus to be on your inside, not on everyone else's outside. Maybe smarter people realise this truth early, where as people focused on popularity (ie: outer) need abit more time purely to realise what is more important. The thing I wish to convay is compassion, acceptance and non-judgement of all people is a stronger place to live. Focus on what's important, and try to never loose compassion for people, because we are all the same deep down. Hope this makes sense from a 101 year old all the way from Australia....
S
· 1 year ago
It's not just public schools that have this problem. I go to a Catholic high school and I have actually tripped on purpose and sprained my ankle just so I could sit out of a pep rally, which to me are the root of the entire sports over smarts problem. I do think, though, that the rebel/nerd division is blurring a bit, because I don't do drugs, but I would tentatively classify myself as between the two (not caring about the rules, but not purposely going out of my way to break them, plus I don't usually study for tests/quizzes/etc.). I also avoid sports as a matter of personal preference, even pride, but I am friends with most of the fencing team at my school. However, they seem to be one of the only sports teams that have mostly "nerds" on the team who discuss Shakespeare and the meaning of life/42 at the lunch table. I have found, though, that the most popular people at the school are not the so-called "jocks", but the drama kids. There is a definite hierarchy in the fine arts program, with the upperclassmen drama people on the top.
tu
· 1 year ago
umm, i dont think this is very true anymore. its 2008, smart kids are getting more popular, and the popular kids... well, they're getting alot smarter. it seems that dumb kids are getting ostracized now. i;ve seen it happen. some football player, or some regular kid says something really stupid and they get ridiculed. the girls now a days they love a smart boy, but the girls that act like this are usually smart themselves. but, it seems that the kids that still act like "smart is uncool" are the kids that are some what poor. i assure you, this essay may be true 4, maybe 5 years ago... but now, its the smart kids that get the girls. even if your not very attractive, people will know you. my freind, he's black, he's not the typical stereotype of ghetto. he's VERY smart, and the girls seem to LOVE him. even the really pretty girls love him, they all know his name and want to be around him! i didnt understasnd it at first, but now, its all too clear. it seems to make me wish i was as smart as him, i dont even care if im ugly. i jus want to be smart, but i dont want to be smart because i want to get GIRLS. i want to be smart because i think it would make me alot happeier, i would understand things easier. do well in school and please my parents much more.
Brian
· 1 year ago
This might be true, or this might be just a one off. For this to be different, there would have to be some major changes in American suburbia, which doesn't seem so. Some black kids have always been popular because of this reason: They were seen as romantic heroes, struggling against the Big Bad of Racist And Unjust society. This was particularly true in the sixties on university campuses. It might have seeped through. Personal advice from me to you: Start reading more books, your spelling is horrible. Cut back on watching TV show with at least 2 shows per week. In those two hours you can read really good books. Start with Harry Potter, they're really good, exciting and completely spell-checked .... ;)
Emperor of the Moon
· 1 year ago
I think you just cleared up the first 18 years of my life.
Thanks.
Brian
· 1 year ago
Impressive article, although I'm somewhat suspicious of the phrase "nothing to do". If this is defined as not learning a skill as young people used to do in earlier centuries, then yes, I see what you mean.
As a European, I've always wondered, when watching US highschool-dramas, why the popular crowd could stay so popular while being so hated by the majority? This kinda clears that up for me.
This sentence made me think that there's a film in here somewhere: "Kids are sent off to spend six years memorizing meaningless facts in a world ruled by a caste of giants who run after an oblong brown ball, as if this were the most natural thing in the world. And if they balk at this surreal cocktail, they're called misfits." For example this could involve a group of adults, being sent of into a strange surreal prisonworld, with literal giants and a mandatory game with mysterious rules. At the end of the movie the adults would transform into children, the prisonworld would be revealed as a suburban high school.
Such a film would be highly instructive for nerds. Like you said, if only someone has told you that it was prison instead of making you read Lord of the Flies ... Yah ... if ONLY ... ;)
Be of good cheer.
Jenny
· 1 year ago
This is, I suppose, true to an extent. I just started out high school so I am not really sure how the whole system works, but then again I go to a Canadian school. In terms of overall grades, I would be considered a nerd with a 96.4% average on my first term report card. I don't see the popular kids talking rudely to me or anything of that sort. The higher ups in my school hierarchy have a slightly above average intelligence to a low intelligence (that is, if intelligence were ranked by school grades, which I think is hardly the case). The middle groups have all sorts of intelligences. The, what I consider lower groups, have mostly low intelligences. Of course, I probably know less than 10% of my school population and I don't pay too much attention to the student hierarchy, but this is what I've noticed. This is to basically say that I cannot entirely relate to this article, but if this is how some schools really are, I would whole-heartedly agree with you.
GoGoBear
· 1 year ago
Where is the authors name? I would really like to know more about this person to see and understand if they have any qualifications for the position they have taken, or is this all nothing more than his "opinion".
The first half of this "essay" was in fact interesting....some points I agreed with, some parts I found insightful, and some premises I thought were incorrect and off base. Mostly I thought to myself that the issue at hand was less universal than the author implied - what he described was not the case at my high school for example, and my girlfriend agreed that it was not the case at her daughters high school either...but in both cases we attended schools where accomplishment and achievement were and are rewarded (I attended one of the top public high school in the United States...my girlfriends daughter attends one of the most prestigious private schools in all of Canada). Ont he other hand, my girlfriend did agree that this sounded a like like HER high school, as her parent did not have the means to send her to an elite academic focused private school.
However, by the middle of the essay, it is clear the author is just an overgrown tortured soul still writing in his teenage angst that he has not been able to grow up and past. They hated me because I was smart...they hated me because I was more mature...school is useless anyway - it is nothing but a prison.
Dude...you got picked on because you were a social misfit. The same urge that prompted you to right this drivel...that need to be heard in order to prove how smart and more advanced and evolved you were...that is the urge that got you ostracized in high school. Sure, lots of what takes part in high school is banal. But lots of what takes place in adult life is banal as well....things like wanna be intellectuals leveraging the wonderful democracy of the internet to final be "heard", for example. Ones in ability to deal with this reality...dismissing what was not of interest to you without being so clearly dismissive of those who it was of interest to....the ability to pick up key clues about the social behavior that is the very fabric of our society (the good and the bad)...is both part and parcel of true maturity (which isn't just measured by intellect) and of a proper emotional balance.
Everyone else managed to get along except the kids at the "D" table. You've decided it was because you were some much smarter and more mature. That isn't the case. it was because you were so self absorbed and vain that you purposely stood apart to bring attention to yourself...and that is what you got.
"if these "smart" kids were so smart they wouldnt be wasting their time making maps of how popular people are ....if these kids are so smart why cant they figure it out that they just chose to not be popular ... if they are so smart why cant they find happines .. the thing is as seb said "they simply lack social intelligence " and thats why i think they are considered outcasts .. and not because they are too smart"
It appears a teenager understands something that you haven't figured out, even in adulthood.
Get over yourself. Really. You're an adult now.
ariel
· 1 year ago
I agree. I thought the first half of this essay was kind of intriguing but then it just went way over the top.
I definitely think that i can relate a little bit with this author though because i know that i just choose not to be popular. I don't have the time. I have AP classes, debate, and work... no time for parties and talking on the phone about nothing for hours. I wish being popular didn't take work... that would be nice.
C
· 1 year ago
I know that in "Re: Why Nerds are Unpopular" you deal with the "but some smart kids are popular" objection, but I'd like to give you a reason to take it a little more seriously: the demographics of elite universities.
I am a graduate student who TA's at a top-25 (but not top-10) university. The students here are very smart. They're also very attractive, and they dress well. While a few of my students are socially awkward, this is not the case for the vast majority of them. I suppose it's possible that the majority--or even a large minority--of the students here were 'D-table' (or C-table) kids in middle school and high school and suddenly learned how to dress well and fit in when they met all the smart people here, I have a hard time believing that. I have a much easier time believing that these smart kids were mostly A-tablers than D-tablers.
M Cruise
· 1 year ago
Dans votre histoire, c'est évident que tu crois que les <<nerds>> sont <<nerds>> en choissant-en choissant être intelligent ou populaire. Pourtant, le <<nerd>> est devenu une icone et populaire dans le moderne lycee publique; bien que cela peut être dû à la montée de la tricherie plutôt qu'autre chose. Et alors, je suis un <<nerd>> et je suis populaire aussi. Eh oui, mon frere est populaire mais il est un <<nerd>> aussi. Je crois que ce n'est pas votre choix. Non, c'est vos parents, n'est pas? Il y a trois types des bonnes parents. Des parents sont tres intelligents ou voudraient que ses enfants deviendront intelligents. Des parents sont tres populaires ou voudraient que ses enfants deviendront populaires. Et, il existe des parents sont tres populaires et intelligents ou voudraient que ses enfants devidendront tres populaires et intelligents. Donc, mes parents sont du troisième type et alors je suis d'adieu, le commissaire de l'éducation, un athlète blousons (sorte de), bénévole à l'hôpital local et mon président ou dirigeant de plusieurs clubs et d'activités dans mon lycée.
Aussi, je suis d'accord avec GoGoBear et je ne suis pas un Francophone. Je suis le cours de francais depuis quatre ans et je n'ai pas utilize un tradectur electronique.
carlos
· 1 year ago
I like your idea. I am not popular too but I want girls is so beautiful.
adam
· 1 year ago
Go go bear, you clearly view yourself as intelligent when infact, you employed words in your reply which made no sense what so ever in relation to the text. You clearly overused the dictionary on Word to make your response look impressive.
A High School Sophomore
· 1 year ago
The problem in my case is that I could very well be a nerd, but I could also fit into every other group in the school. I'm popular with the 'popular crowd' but also in the sense that I am popular among everyone. It's nice to be liked but it means I don't have any real friends. I jump from group to group because I like interesting people, but nobody really trusts me because they don't know who I am, and because I seem to have different personalities. It's not that I have schizophrenia or anything but I can't get used to any one group of people, instead I like different people for different reasons. I also get swallowed up in wanting a boyfriend not just because it's the norm for my age but also because I genuinely want someone to understand me. All of this is kind of depressing and I can't really relate to anyone... just thought I'd share.
HOOAH!
· 1 year ago
Why does this matter anyways? I'm a chinese guy and I was born in HK. I came to the States when I was 8. And I am not being racist. But most white people are very judgemental, fake, and stereotype everybody. That's why the "nerd" issue comes up. There is no such thing as "nerd" outside of the US. I hate the American culture, not the Americans.
Kendra
· 1 year ago
I know what you mean. Most of the people i used to go to school with were fake too. Mostly the girls. just wanted you to know that you arn't alone. This kid in Rural Alaska hears you!
Me
· 1 year ago
I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with some of what you've said. Not that your completely wrong, but some of what you've written seems (in my opinion) somewhat outdated. I'm currently in 9th grade and I guess I would be considered a “nerd” by some and a “freak” by others, so I believe I have a reasonable vantage point for my observations. First, in American schooling the idiots win. Not just popularity, but in grades too. (which you seemed to have not seen) Due to the fact that the school system is designed for the slower end, in order to pass you must blindly memorize facts and are not required to understand the subject itself. While that may seem like something that would make school easier for the “smart kids” to pass, it in fac makes it harder. Those who have a higher range of intelligence usually have a much tougher time passing because the questions tend to be worded in a different way then our brains are thinking. Secondly, as you pointed out already, the majority of teachers don’t care anymore. But I hate to say they all are like that. I’ve had many teachers who accomplished their job and still had the energy to go beyond their duty (throughout Middle school in particular). I honestly believe that when the government took over public schooling they ruined it for everyone. Lazy teachers merely teach for the SOL requirements now because that’s all they need students to pass. For example, when I entered middle school I was shocked that teachers kept teaching not only after the SOLs, but up to the very last day . When the SOLs ended in elementary school, we had gotten to watch movies the last two or three weeks of school. These are just two things I felt I needed to defend, but I do agree with a good portion of what you have here.
Amy
· 1 year ago
I go to a school for gifted kids. About half of us are in the enriched program and the other half are average kids. The school has nearly entirely segragated the two halfs, it's an interesting, generally beneficial dynamic. The only bullying I've heard of was within the two factions and there isn't much. I am a nerd but I belong to an entirely independant social structure from the stereotypically popular kids so I don't even think of them. There is no particular hierarchy to the nerd half but a distinct one within the 'normal' kids. Independantly the students have basically seperated into two schools that just happen to be housed in the same building. There are 1600 people at my school, about 400 in my year and I will probably never meet 150 of them and never have a single class with them. I would think this sort of setup is highly unusual but it's all I've known and the teachers have long excepted it.
Kendra
· 1 year ago
I see what you mean. I was the only white kid in all of high school where i live. Now i am homeschooled because people ould make fun of my race, the boy i liked, and (not to be flashy) my smartness. I would get notes in my locker about my "retardedness" from other boys especilly this one named Bubba. Now who in the hell you name your kid Bubba? You can already tell by his name that he is not smart and this kid teases me when i don't tease him? What a messed up world we live in! I useally have an intire picnic table all to myself at the cafateria. Such is the life of a nerd. *sighs*
amf
· 1 year ago
nerds are better off alone with their pc's!
Shipmodeler
· 1 year ago
Please leave me alone with my pc. Thats money for me, and money is power.
amf
· 1 year ago
i like nerds because they do my projects...
Shipmodeler
· 1 year ago
I used to do the bookreports for the bullies, just so I had som protection around school. Did the math for others for the same reasons. Where do you fit in bully or nerd.
bc87
· 1 year ago
My high is lame, it's all about homework, no matter who you are... No one cares about nerds and crap. It's all fake. It's about who is going to what university.
Shipmodeler
· 1 year ago
Who is going to what university is also very fake. Just go and Learn, learn all you can. It does not really matter what University it is. What matters is you and how much you really want to acheive. Use nerds can make it anywhere, not just at Popular universities.
ehutch
· 1 year ago
smart kids are not automatically unpopular, its more the social ineptness that does them in. i knew a select few kids that were both popular and very smart but it is uncommon. i was pretty smart and pretty cool but not to an extreme either way. doing well in school never interfered with my having lots of friends, both nerdy and popular, kind of throwing out the rule book. the kids i chose to avoid were those who spoke poorly of even their close friends. school is a training ground for dealing with all types of people, unfortunately, many kids failed that class.
Shipmodeler
· 1 year ago
I went to school in the 60's. Given the differences of age and time, nothing has changed. I can agree 100% with article. Looking back, the most popluar High school jock was captain of the foot ball team, is now selling used cars in LA, while I was on the bottom, just did my taxes for 2007, and had 121,000 dollar pre-tax income last year.
Bootsie
· 1 year ago
It's "clique", not "click". And, whether you realize it or not, everybody labels. Even you. Get that straight real quick, and you might be able to circumnavigate some crap.
Tanner
· 1 year ago
Ok you are all wrong. You think just because someone looks diffrent and has other interest doesn't mean you can label them nerds. Preps are not better then nerds nerds aren't better then preps. So what I hang with the cliks People that are a verity of diffrent kids. So you all are retarted. people who thing they are better then people in a lower class "are the lowest". I don't care if people make fun of me because they are just critzing them selfs. So Im not like most people I hate when people label other. So if you hate them stay away from them a shut up. Just like two weeks ago this kid started to make fun of my friends I just went up to him and punched him so god damn hard in the noes that he was weeping on the ground. Thats why I hate Those who label.
Bootsie
· 1 year ago
It's "clique", not "click". And, whether you realize it or not, everybody labels. Even you. Get that straight real quick, and you might be able to circumnavigate some crap.
Tim
· 1 year ago
Good insight!
I'm a high-school senior right now, and this makes perfect sense to me.
It's been strange for me, though, because I became one of the non-conformist "freaks" in middle-school, and I was on the wrestling team throughout most of high-school. I was kind of alienated wherever I went: I was a freak, but I cared about studying hard; I was a wrestler, but I was a freak and I studies; I was a nerd, but I was a freak and I wrestled. This perspective of mine led to a lot of insight. Your article pretty much solidified what I'd been feeling.
I think that the reason American high-schools are so much more anti-intellectual than schools in other countries is because consumer-culture in America is so much stronger. Getting high-school kids to spend all of their money on new shoes and clothes is good business. I know kids that work over 20-hours a week to spend their entire paychecks on nothing but clothes, eating-out, and weed.
grasshopper
· 1 year ago
Saw a show last night on BBC world about schools in China. Nerds galore! This cool kid put holes in his eraser and the class and teacher humiliated him and made him cry. Think opposite of what we know. The debate over originality and creativity vrs route learning is interesting. China does not produce free thinking designers and innovators. These are often the cool rebels, who are often kind to nerds even tho they have standing. I was made fun of at school and even now. People speak against things or people they dont understand, a sign of stupidity
looloo
· 1 year ago
this article is amazing i am fourteen years old and i have a whole new outlook on middle school because of this. im not going to look at the school nerds in the same way any more and im not going to look at myself in the same way anymore. i believe that almost everything in this article you wrote is true and i want you to know that it has changed something in me
JJW
· 1 year ago
Great insights, every school kid should read this. Compulsary, with exam questions! ;)
An observation: In the Netherlands kids are divided according to intelligence at age 11-12. Most nerds end up in the highest level of education between age 12 and 18-19 (below that there are 3 levels for decreasing levels of intelligence, ending with schools that only teach practical hand-labour skills). There are many problems with such a system, mostly based on the issue that intelligence just isn't easy to measure (partly solved because based on merit students can still move up and down the levels during their school career). But for a lot of students it created Nerd Heaven. I was surrounded by 500 students who like algebra, who like learning Latin, who wanted nothing more than build their own rocket. Sure we still got bullied by kids from a nearby school (let's say a school for level 3 out of 4, with nerds being in level 1 out of 4), but at least we could band together. So maybe this is a potential solution, regardless of its many imperfections.
tyut
· 1 year ago
The kids who aren't smart are also jealous too.
jjkl
· 1 year ago
here in kenya, smart people are teased in mostly in private skuls where i go.
jjkl
· 1 year ago
i think smart people are cool
Jenny
· 1 year ago
I graduated high school in '79, in RI, and attended a very small junior high and a fairly smallish high school. I agree with some of your points, but on the whole there are far too many generalities.
In mine,we had the jocks and cheerleaders, but they also included kids who were called "socsh", popular intelligent kids. There were those of us who were referred to as nerds/geeks, and there were the heads/burnouts (druggies), but they were never considered natural allies. Then there was a loose contingency of people who didn't fit in anywhere.
There were instances of a few jock bullies, picking on whomever (always male) they found to be a convenient target, but it wasn't to the extent Paul seems to have experienced. Cool girls could be cruel, but again, it wasn't a constant. Perhaps because we were such a small town things weren't quite so extreme?
I believe that to the extent we segregate into groups, and don't talk, share more experiences that differences are hardened.. but that applies to adults as well. Adults not pick on "nerds"? I don't know about that, but adults do pick on and abuse each other. Paul referenced Bill Gates, well, Gates might be highly intelligent and well educated, but he is also manipulative, greedy and highly despotic.
Whatever his IQ might be, it does not automatically translate to his output being in any way sound or positive. In a way, he is acting like the worst jock bully imaginable. He uses his money and power as cudgels instead of fists, to be sure, but still, to much the same end.
He received a Nobel prize for humanitarian acts, however the underpinning of those acts were to enable him to convince African government leaders to allow a pharmaceutical company Gates was heavily invested in, to test an AIDS vaccine on poor Africans. As a result of his insidious influence, AIDS actually increased in the countries that participated in the testing. Gates will no doubt never be tarred with that fact, though his money and power sought the sort of negligent practices that were used. He doesn't have a humanitarian bone in his body.
My daughter attended a larger high school, in the late '90s. More students, many more cliques and far sillier names attached to them. She's highly intelligent, but much more outgoing personality wise than I ever was.
Of course by that time terms like nerd and geek were far more appealing than they were in the '70s and early '80s. My daughter certainly used them to describe herself. She was a trophy winning softball player (unlike me, who had always been afraid of being hit by a ball.), a computer wiz, a passionate reader. She hung out with kids who played sports, average kids, punks and goths, and she pretty much dressed in jeans, t's and flannel, and wore glasses.
As a parent, what was most troubling to me, was that students were far more segregated than I was. Instead of students being merely catagorized into "collegiate" and "business" courses, there were five or six different classifications. Students are being dumbed down, and too many of the teachers were the epitome of the negative stereotypes I'd defended the profession against for years. Kids have it much tougher now, and I doubt too many adults are paying attention to that fact.
I attended a class reunion several years ago, and was actually shocked to find myself having conversations with people I never would have talked to back in the day. Most were pretty much thoughtful, decent human beings. A few of the jocks had gone to seed. I was saddened to see that one of my old high school friends, a highly intelligent and motivated guy had destroyed his life through alcoholism. Even more saddened after the fact when I contacted old friends who hadn't attended ultimately because they were still caught up viewing their fellow alumni through through frames of the past.
Mike
· 1 year ago
I had a not dissimilar experience of secondary school to the author of this essay. The worst thing about having to survive your teenage years is that they truely do affect the adult you become. Even now as I near my 30th birthday I'm plagued by the same ridiculous anxieties-- are my clothes 'cool' enough? Do people think I'm cool? Do I like the right music? Do I have enough friends for the sake of appearing to be popular? It's ludicrous, I know. Anyone would rationally say that these are deficient, meaningless worries, but when you are aged between 11 and 18 they are the most important aspects of your life. I would also attribute school to many of adulthood's most undesirable traits-- pettiness, bitchiness, one-upmanship, back stabbing, toadying. All of these things are learnt at school.
Fredrick Von Rosseman
· 1 year ago
This is one amazing essay, incredibly insightful, it is literally everything I have thought and observed this past school year. Reading this released such a mental burden, your article pretty much solidified what I'd been feeling, like someone had stated earlier. I was under the impression that I alone had realized the sick twisted reality of life as a high school student. It is almost as if you read my subconscious mind, and wrote an essay explaining it all. Thank you for this, you've greatly impacted a confused childes life.
Little Miss Grateful
· 1 year ago
This was awesome to the highest degree. This essay described everything I've ever thought of school or teenage culture in full detail... I think I'm in love!
a nerd =)
· 1 year ago
i think that this essay is beautifully composed...I'm a current high school student. I'm not super smart and was actually dropped out of an advance program because my grades began to drop...right now I'm working hard at bringing them back up but i realized that the way my friends saw me while i was doing good in school had a lot to do with my decreasing average. I love reading...and half the time that I'm alone i read...i love poetry and even write it but i did notice the way some people, including close friends reacted when i started getting good grades and being put in advanced courses...they changed and they thought that i had...many even said that i probably thought that i was better than them. That isn't the case at all. So many people have such stereo types about what a nerd is and what they look like. They think that nerds are loners with no friends and that they can't be popular or be good athletes. I don't see why not? Nerds are just people who have their brains and their thought together and who chose to do what they believe is more important and that in simply to go to school, get an education, and excel in everything that they do. These are the people who will get the recommendations, get the goods jobs, and have a good future. Hooray for nerd all over the world!!
sharon
· 1 year ago
as a lunchlady at a high school anda mother of two graduates of 06 and 07 they were both very smart and grew up well adjusted. my question to you, do you not have parents, at least one, that cares about and truly loves you?
Fin Keegan
· 1 year ago
Outstanding article. Thank you.
Brandon Evans
· 1 year ago
Congratulations...I've never read something this long on my free will.
gorrilo
· 1 year ago
i never thought anybody can write so much about nerds! you didnt even bs any of it! kudos to u
but ya u didnt have to throw in that stuff about school being like a part-time prison while my parents work! that is depresing
Spanglefeather
· 1 year ago
Really astute insights here, and lovely writing. I agree that some of the causes for teenage misery are sociological and systemic, rather than personal. My kids, 9 and 10, are homeschooled --- people feel that their socialization must be a big challenge. It isn't. One of the benefits of homeschool is not having to wrestle with the social consequences of valuing your mental life. My kids are unusually creative. They have excellent concentration. They initiate many projects on their own and complete them without me. In our home we encourage Imagination, Concentration, and personal control of Time. As much as public school teachers value and want such strengths , the social environment really mitigates against it. But school authorities also undermine all forms of independence, since it may interfere with the social control they need for mass production of diplomas. I am not trying to change the system: just seceding from what does not work for my needs. Many parents are doing the same, regretful for causing the brain- drain. Apropos of Mr. Graham's post- high school happiness, --- according to the Myers Briggs Personality Type Index, the Intuitive Thinking types feel terribly lonely and outcast in school --- until college, where they form a large part of the population. Post graduation, they become the leaders in contemporary technological culture, which is very dependent on Thinkers who use abstraction, insight, and ingenuity in problem-solving. It would be natural for an INTJ type like Paul Graham to become a successful artist and programmer. But in junior high and high school, these types barely survive.
marcocarlioli
· 1 year ago
This is really succinctly put. I think you've hit the nail on the head with the part about just simply caring about being smart. I fear that even in third-level education nowadays there is an increasing belief that simple fascination is not a good enough reason to do anything. I was a smart kid in primary school, and I didn't get much love from my peers. In secondary school I completely slacked off. My capability in simple comprehension, attained in primary school was enough to bluff through secondary and get out with above average grades (or points as they're called here in Ireland). Sadly, having points is no use if you have completely lost direction. In secondary school my number one aim was to become a socially acceptible individual, and I largely achieved that. But I had no idea what to do next. I spent the next 4 years or so dropping out of two college courses and working for two years in construction. I'm now in my second year of a degree in philosophy.
You raise some really pertinent ideas here and they lead me to think of some others. I remember reading a newspaper article some years ago about the points system in Ireland. You need to get a certain number of points in your leaving examinations to get into a college course. The amount of points required is worked out according to the number of applicants and the number of available places. So every year kids apply, sit the final exams in the standard high school subjects ( none of which bear any resemblance to real life or even academic work. It's a test of recall really), then in august you get your points (max. 600, that's straight As in higher level courses) and two weeks later everyone waits for the Central Application Office to announce the points required for each course and send out offers to those lucky enough to have enough points for their chosen course. So what you get is high points for courses in high demand (law and medicine are the prime examples). This bears no resemblance to the level of intelligence required, or even the type of commitment needed. The opportunity to study a complex dialectical thing like the law or to become a healthcare professional, that is, a carer for the sick, is dealt out on the basis of how well you can remember quotes from King Lear or draw a diagram of how freeze-thaw erosion takes place on a hillside. What this leads to is a stratification of student-bodies. The system treats us like consumers, so those driven to attain wealth and status study the syllabus day and night, pay for extra tuition and come out with 600 points. They become doctors and lawyers. The point of the article is that they may well have been better of picking turnips. A 600 point leaving cert is no guarantee of a skilled lawyer or of a doctor suited to providing a high-level of patient care. It is also no guarantee that once in college, you won't hate every minute of it. The point is that love of learning has been replaced by a system for rooting out those who can perform tasks within a given system in the hope of reward from on high. Other students will be less motivated by the seeming rewards of diligence and will simply drop off the radar, without ever realising (until they're in the real world, and its too late) that the world at large values knowledge and skills totally different to those valued in schools. They are a very artificial system of merit. The really nerdy kids, the ones who stayed nerds throughout, sometimes in secrecy, will go out into the world and find that it is a much better place than they imagined. They will find people and institutions which value their skills and knowledge. Those who were most adept in school are often the ones who seem most petty and uninteresting as adults.
These are all archetypical descriptions and the lines will blur but i think you can see the similarities with your experience.
My own experience is that I discovered philosophy after leaving school and was astonished to find that people down through the ages spent their time thinking about abstract things simply because that was what floated their boat. And I became an avid amateur. So I went back to get a thorough grounding in the subject. I still meet people every day who ask what job I could possibly hope to find in philosophy. They find it very hard to understand that I do it plain and simply because it fascinates me. It touches on God, science, art, madness, literature, logic, AI, sociology, politics, justice. It is I think, the perfect undergraduate degree, in that it is so unspecialized. When I finish I want to be involved in studying politics, ethics, logic, linguistics, and a myriad of things. Every experience I have is richer. Pain and mental anguish are both increased and diminished by it. This kind of learning never happened at school. I hated maths at school. Now I'm reading a book on Godel's incompleteness theorems simply because it piqued my interest. I want to know about quantum mechanics. None of this is necessary for me to get my degree, but had I not started with philosophy none of these would have interested me. What job will I get? Who knows? I'm 23. I may have many different jobs before they put me in a box. We don't know what kind of society will exist in ten or twenty years time. Last year I met a woman who earns her living renting chocolate fondue fountains to people having parties. 15 years ago in Ireland, nobody had a job. If you pitched that idea to a bank manager, asking for a loan to start a chocolate fondue company you might have been committed.
I guess I'm just glad that I regained the nerdy part of me that I tried so hard to jettison in my early teens, and now I'm an adult with too many books, who posts lengthy replies to blogs on the internet, and has no idea how he will provide for himself, never mind figuring out how to support a wife and kids (if anyone should deign to marry me). And I love that. And I'm so grateful that I've had the circumstances (and the generous parents) to help me do this. Suburbia is still a bitch though.
Jonathan
· 1 year ago
"Congratulations...I've never read something this long on my free will."
Indeed.
I must say I've read some pretty insightful things in my day, but this must be one of the most eye-opening and .....just Wow! I don't even know - I can't find the words for it.
*stands up and applauses*
Bravo.
Paul K
· 1 year ago
Adults are so deliberately oblivious to the viciousness of school. I was a nerd who was picked on (kids used to stick pins in me when i wasn't looking, punch me, spit on me, etc.) and when I told my parents about it, they said I was too sensitive. When I told teachers about it, they did nothing. When I did retaliate, I was the one punished. It was a prison. I'm glad you have expressed all of this so eloquently.
john
· 1 year ago
get a life
Whitney
· 1 year ago
An example of someone who feels the need to put another down to "prove" that they themselves are better.
" When you tread water, you lift yourself up by pushing water down. Likewise, in any social hierarchy, people unsure of their own position will try to emphasize it by maltreating those they think rank below."
worldrimroamer
· 1 year ago
I think this essay is a minor masterpiece. It's nail-on-the-head. This comment is to "john". I used to be a nerd, but I'm a grownup now and I know a lot more than I knew then. If I could meet you today, I would deck you. In the end, you're the looser, because you're dumb.
Karen
· 1 year ago
What can I say? You're amazing. I'm going to print this out and carry it everywhere with me. When I read the title, I was expecting some goofy "they're just jealous!" rant, and it turned out to be something well-thought out and very cool. It's a giant essay, but I enjoyed every minute of it.
Ann
· 1 year ago
This is amazing!!!!! I have been wanting these answers for ages! It has made me feel a lot better bout myself ..... I myself am in high school and face similar problems and I think this essay helps a lot.
john
· 1 year ago
loser
Whitney
· 1 year ago
Did you even read the essay? You prove yourself to be one of those kids who try to prove that they themselves are better by putting another down.
" When you tread water, you lift yourself up by pushing water down. Likewise, in any social hierarchy, people unsure of their own position will try to emphasize it by maltreating those they think rank below."
Unkown
· 1 year ago
Impressive... We are all to Blame
ellen
· 1 year ago
wow. thanks for the insights! hope more people will read this.
Shantelle
· 1 year ago
I love my popularity.I'm a cheerleader and numer 2 in school.I'm gonna be nr 1 but shhhh;)
Shantelle
· 1 year ago
Oh! I forgot! I love to show nerds how useless are they...That's all me.
Alex
· 1 year ago
Im just about 19 and I feel like I am just now aware of what high school and the world is really like all thanks to reading your paper. I love what you wrote and Im going to show it to as many people as possible. I think people need to be made aware of what is going on around them, It's sort of like the line form the bob dylan song ballad of a thin man, listen to it and you will know what i mean. I just can't thank you enough for writing this article. If you have written anything else please e mail me your work I just have to read it my email address is ate89@sbcglobal.net. Also if you ever write a book in the future please tell me so I can camp out side my local book store and be the first one to read it.
joesf
· 1 year ago
can we be friends
A Brown
· 1 year ago
This post resonates strongly with my experiences of high school in New Zealand. My teenaged brother is in his second year of high school in Australia and belongs to the pear shaped group. He has nice friends but as a group their behaviour can be dubious towards the so called ‘Nerds’. Being a Nerd myself during the awkward years I’ve tried to impart my experiences to him. But it’s not cool to be humane. I liken the conformity of high school students to a flock of sheep. I do feel for today’s ‘Nerds’ technology has turned their plight into a 24/7 event in some cases. Your right as Adults we should be taking on the system instead of supporting it through silence.
Breezer
· 1 year ago
Shantelle, Notice how much we all care...
flachsbart
· 1 year ago
Wow, that was amazingly insightful and provides a perspective that I have never heard and one that really resonates with my experiences as well. As a fellow member of a 'D' table I think this a very discerning essay. Thank you!
Mysterious Poster
· 1 year ago
This was a refresing read. Im still in high school and I can say this puts all the thoughts ive had about it into a great well thought out essay. Thanks.
Sean
· 1 year ago
Wow, that was a really interesting read. Whilst the school i go to in Australia isnt as hard-core as the essay, you cant deny it's not there. Thanks!
Mary
· 1 year ago
For an interesting contrast - my high school was one with an IB (International Bacchalaureate) program. In addition to, y'know, being a better education, it served two purposes. One, it actually gave us something to work for, eliminating the boredom factor and allowing us nerds to admire the nerds who succeeded at schoolwork, and Two, as one of the only schools in the area to offer the program, it drew nerds from all over the county - thus allowing us to band together in large, unbullyable numbers.
I'm not saying there was no teasing or ostracization, but it's true - with those two factors accounted for, being a nerd became much, much more bearable. Some top nerds were even able to turn nerd-points into actual coolness value - after all, if a large (and therefore unbullyable) section of the population thinks Joe is cool, the rest of the group has to go along with it, otherwise the whole social structure of teenagers falls apart. That they think Joe's cool for being the only one to grasp the Calculus lecture on the first explanation or for successfully arguing down the history teacher regarding the Nuremberg Trials is sort of irrelevant.
Dawn
· 1 year ago
Very insightful and thought provoking. As a parent, I agree with you that most adults seem to be "too busy" for teenagrers. It is a shame, for the adults do not know what they are missing.
Oskar Shapley
· 1 year ago
I concur.
Had the same observation at some point: public schools are part-time prisons to keep the kids out of the streets, so that parents do not have to worry about them during work hours.
OTOH, I realised, that when I was a kid I behaved like an adult. Now I kind of behave like a kid. (the Michael Jackson Syndrome ;) )
Kristine
· 1 year ago
this is so true, and these are problems i face almost everyday, as a "nerd", at my middle school
SX
· 1 year ago
wonderful essay!!!!! This exactly describes all I've been experiencing and feeling! I'm still in high school, and is probably the only nerd there. but I'm waiting to go to college for another year!
Andreas
· 1 year ago
That was really interesting. I'm from Germany and I just finished school. A lot of things you wrote sound familiar to me. Especially why teenagers bully the ones they feel superior to. It's exactly the same thing over here.
However, German nerds have 2 great advantages:
Our school system puts the kids into three types of schools with different academic levels after 4th grade. The hardest one has a higher percentage of "nerds" than the others, so at least nobody gets kicked around for spending time on other things than being popular. I had a pretty good time even though I wore glasses, I was good at almost all subjects (especially math), I played classical music on the piano and my social skills were probably lower average. That would make me a typical nerd, wouldn't it?
The second advantage: we don't have the word "nerd" in our language. Thank God.
SJ
· 1 year ago
I'm not sure who wrote this but I just read it to my thirteen year old son. My son is labeled a "nerd" at school. He is thirteen. I don't think I've ever read a clearer, more compelling article in my life. I know it made my son feel better about himself. I'm grateful this was on the internet, available to the public. Many thanks for writing and sharing your intelligent insights. Much of what was written hit extremely close to home.
archerchick77
· 1 year ago
This essay was wonderful to read. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm currently writing a research paper on 'how to be popular' for a psychology class I'm taking in college, and this essay provided many useful insights for me. Who wrote this essay? I would like to use it as a referance in my term paper, but want to give credit.
Trnbrrd
· 1 year ago
This essay was a joy to read and was very insightful.
Ray White
· 1 year ago
Universal truths masterfully observed. Having read this essay in Dublin, Ireland, some 16 years after I left school, it managed to push buttons in me that i thought were long since decommissioned. It speaks to me in ways that perhaps it shouldn't, speaking as a 33 year old that is.
I would give anything to go back to 1987 so that I could I deliver this essay to the 13 year old me... although to be honest, I don't think I would have read it all the way through. In fact, even if I had finished reading it, I probably would not have understood it. I was never really very perceptive when it came to this kind of thing...
And yet, despite the limited intelligence I enjoyed at the time, I had surprisingly few social acquaintances in my life who were not related to me by blood, namely Mother and Father.
In their case, I'm convinced, biological impulses and guilt were the only factors that prevented them from ostracizing me from family activities (such as Holidays, Christmas and annual birthday celebrations) even more than they did.
behave !
· 1 year ago
i didnt read it all but i got the idea good stuff
Alexa
· 1 year ago
I have been thinking for a long time now, why is it that some kids are not popular. After reading this, I felt so much better. I'm in high school, and all though I'm not labeled a nerd, I know I truly am one. I'm good at almost all subjects, especially math. I play the piano and I lack social skills. I have few friends, and never get invited to parties. All through middle school I would cry myself to sleep. I was very miserable. But I know things will change, and thank god I only have 3 more years of highschool left.
Name
· 1 year ago
I was lucky enought to realize this early myself. Now that I'm an adult, I can confirm that I was right.
Just hold on and ignore them.
Khaki
· 1 year ago
I respect the amount of work you put into writing this, but I have trouble actually liking the article. It's not just that I disagree with you. I enjoy plenty of things that I disagree with. Here are the problems I see with this:
1. The article is all over the place and it's unclear what you're trying to say throughout most of it. You don't explain the relationship between "schools as prisons" and "why nerds are unpopular" until the very end, and you don't address anything remotely relating to your "thesis" until the last section. I don't mean to suggest that articles are only good if they're written like high school term papers with a thesis at the end of the first paragraph, but this seemed really unfocused and was disorienting throughout most of the essay. 2. Your sections are way too short. I can understand making each paragraph convey the information that normal people convey in a single sentence. Most people do this when they write on the internet. But why make the sections separated by double line breaks so short? Each of these sections conveys roughly the information in a normal person's paragraph. In fact, just reading over this, it seems like the only reason you did this was to avoid having to adequately transitions between your paragraphs. 3. Your site design is obnoxious. Why does the text only take up 1/3 of my screen? Is it because we would see that each paragraph is less than a single line if it was spread out to any more? 4. A lot of your phrasing is clumsy and awkward. Sentences like "it's only temporary, and if you look, you can see beyond it even while you're still in it" are just unpleasant to have to wade through. 5. Your attempts to sound "deep" and "cultured" often fall on their face. You say, for example, "the only way to escape this empty life was to submit to it." This has NO MEANING at all. You don't explain why or how this is true. Being poetic is only fine as long as there is meaning behind your text. I would also recommend laying off the metaphors at bit... most of them seem forced and do not fit well with what you are trying to convey. Metaphors are only useful when they naturally flow with the text.
anonomous
· 1 year ago
oh my god. this is everything ive thought of inside bursted out into an essay. in your popularity scale im probably in B. see in my middle school there are seperate groups of popularity, the skaters, the bad skaters, the wannabe's, the nerds, the preps, the weird ones, it goes on.... im one of those kids where i have a pretty good reputation but not the best. i get made fun of A LOT. its pointless to me. i know that once this is all over ill be that kids boss one day and its just not worth trying to fit in and be someone im not. whats the point in living if i let someone else tell me how to? but not many kids are like me im 13 at the time and have already matured past the average. im a girl so i would say its harder for girls through out school than guys, girls can be quite cruel but thats just my take on it. this i would say is a wonderful essay.
Izzy
· 1 year ago
Dude, that was insane. *claps* I've nothing more to say besides that because I believe you've said it all.
Isabel
· 1 year ago
Very good article/essay.
I'm 23 - two years out of college. I have promised myself (before reading this) not to forget how HORRIBLE high schoool was. No matter how harmless and stupid a group of popular kids look to an adult, I this it's important to remember how vicious and invincible they were when you were a teenager.
For now though, I will try not to breed and keep doing what I'm doing: nerding out all day at a kickass job that pays somewhat more than McDonalds.
Christina
· 1 year ago
I'm in high school now and I've been called a nerd more than once but I haven't been picked on in years because no one wants to ostrasize me and lose my help in classes. But I've seen it happen many times. It's terrible to watch and nearly impossible to stop because once you open your mouth, you've pasted a target on your forehead. In my classes I watch the same people pick on the same people day after day and there seems to be no good reason except being different. The ones that get picked on are all just different.
This essay proves exactly what I'm trying to say in a speech I'm doing for my AP English class. It is awesome and says what I've been trying to put into words for years.
Hackerjack27
· 1 year ago
You also have to realize that kids are getting mature quicker in this new generation. Those who are "popular" begin to see nerds and losers as though that will be potentially helpful. Also the idea of being smart and popular is not completely thrown out the window; I, along, with several others belonged in this category. Junior high was Hell for me; as well as my freshmen year. My last three years of high school, as classes grew more specialized and teenagers became more mature, were much more fun. Popularity and social hierarchy tends to disperse with age although it certainly still exists. Of course, my view is obviously my own, and I can't say how it is for everyone. To be popular is what most people strive for, and those who are popular say high school was the best time in their life. That is pitiful. I remember a college kid who went to my junior prom and I just thought that was pathetic. High school is Hell for many; fortunately it lasts only four years. Unfortunately, you will never be a kid again afterwards. It's a damn shame that the last innocent and unconsequential years have to miserable to some. Yet, I believe that things are getting better for high school kids everywhere.
Tatiana Iakovaki
· 1 year ago
Bravo! I have no other words but this alone......
tigerthink
· 1 year ago
Thanks a lot for writing this essay. It helped me a lot in high school (even though mine wasn't nearly as bad as yours.)
doodlebop
· 1 year ago
This is long I got board so I skipped to comments. I still don't know why nerds are unpopular but it might have explained it farther into the story but I got board.Nerds are just unpopular, no one knows why.
Amy
· 1 year ago
Your opinions were interesting. I read the entire post and would have read more. As the mom of two teenage sons that just don't "get" why conforming is so important, it will be a valueable tool to open many topics of conversation with them. We now live in a small town which can be compared to a suburb, but there is a slightly different dynamic. I have noticed that many children "from" this town consider themselves as a member of a town, a county and a state. This localized (and I would say, limited) citizenship seems supported and encouraged by the parents. The average student considers a trip of 50 miles an event. Our family has moved around more (due to my husband's career). My children have always seemed to consider themselves citizens of the world. They have seen and experienced much more than the average child from town and I will admit that even though their differences now make them social outcasts, I am secretly proud that they do not conform. I offer my support and advice in as many ways as I know how, but at the same time I realize my limitations. I would be interested to hear about any ideas you might have about how parents could ease the hardships of nerd children that are unpopular, aside from changing the entire educational system of course.
loser
· 1 year ago
fuck you nerd
bwana
· 1 year ago
What a Nurde comment,there is a small chance you may become an adult eventually.
Ppongratz
· 1 year ago
Well said. I can identify completely. My tenure in Middle School in the 1979-1982 time frame was just like the essay. I just became an engineer and forgot about all the BS anyway, after High School. Proud to be what I am but still not popular...and I am okay with it! I see those old schoolmates from time to time and they are just like anyone else in the world. We all go to work and we all have our families so it all comes out the same. Some of us just did it differently in the early years of our lives and were ostrasized for it.
Oh yeah, life goes on...long after the thrill of living is gone! (just passed up my 20 year HS reunion invite - no reason to go)
Paul
Dave
· 1 year ago
I'm 14 years of age upon the creation of this post, and I agree with this essay completely.
I have experience from the nerd population, and the preppy population (I'd probably be one of the folks sitting at the "C" lunch table, and maybe "B" at one point)...It is all just a free-for-all in middle school, where we all kill each other (sometimes literally) just for kicks...
Nathan
· 1 year ago
Very well written essay, and so true.
ali
· 1 year ago
Wow - great, great essay! I will be reading it to my 10 year old "nerd"! LOL! I think it's going to make life a little easier for him!
julie
· 1 year ago
made me think... you really put a new perspective out there. Well Done!
wangstaj
· 1 year ago
Yep. The world is one big fake pile of crap, and everyone either doesn't have the vision to see it or doesn't have the guts to admit it. It's a God damn shame and I have no pity or forgiveness for those responsible.
Mikitii
· 1 year ago
As a teen in New Zealand I cannot identify other than vicariously- as through terrible nineties-feel-good-teen-coming-of-age flicks. At 11 or 12, smart kids tended to either be generally popular or have other groups of smart kids to hang out with, not that there was any kind of elitism involved, but unpopular kids tended to be either the violent or the actually disabled. Moving to highschool, social groups were more defined, but with no real heirarchy. People overlapping more than one stereotype tend to be at least as popular as any "specialist". Still, as a general rule, people with some mild mental abnormality tend to be unpopular but it's the people who pick on them that are really ostricised. My sympathies y'all, sounds awful.
simplify3
· 1 year ago
This is a fantastic article - I will repost it to http://naplesnerds.com - social network for nerds/geeks/misfits. Do nerds and geeks like to congregate? I hope so!
Thanks for the great article - I will reread it several times to digest it fully.
Brian
· 1 year ago
As a 14 year old "nerd", this article was a huge inspiration, and I will undoubtedly view my school-life much differently.
Thank you so much!
JohnBS
· 1 year ago
I disagree. I found that, after being a dorkster for all my schooling, my "group" and the other groups of nerds consistently had the most friends. And yet, when we referred to the star athletes and generally all "those", we always referred to them as the popular kids. And now after graduation the dorks still have plenty of friends, while many popular people have only acquaintances they see at parties. We know this because we have had many defectors to the dorks, those who were trying to dumb down for coolness, but decided to just be themselves. It's crazy, I know, being yourself! So what I'm saying is that no matter what happens, the "popular" kids will always be the popular kids, although the definition of popular has been a little compromised. p.s. The goths at my particular school seemed to be the most popular of all the groups. Who knew?!
jimbob
· 1 year ago
I'm only 13, and i'm a huge nerd in my school, but i'd also like to point out that i have a lot of 'popular' friends. The kids who everyone else wants to be friends with and be like, those people are MY friends, and i'm the kinds of person they'd normally make fun of, because i'm not athletic, i get good grades, and i'm 'awkward' a lot of the time, as some of them put it, but the reason it appears to me that they like me is simply because i can make them laugh. I'm a complete nerd, and yet they like me because i'm funny.
Jayde
· 1 year ago
hi, i'm 13 and in year 8, i know what u guys mean, i hate being a nerd, see i used to be popular but i realised wat a bitch i was, so i left their group, but while i was popular, i was still secretly smart, so when i left, the only thing i had left was my intelligence! lol, ever since that i have been called a nerd! but like jimbob, i have a load of popular friendz that want me to fight them, but i'm not that person anymore, it sux because i could turn back but i dont want to turn ma back on edu! but also i am a christian now, so i cant be popular unless i give up on my religion and education. all those people call me a nerd, and its driving me crazy, because i could always turn around and bash their head in and be popular again, but i cant. sigh. i am not even that smart, i can remember the last time i got an a!!! A TIP FOR EVERYONE; ok, so i'm still in year 8, but think of it this way, its only 5 years! then afterwards, u will be sucessfull, if u hold on to education. at the moment thats the ONLY thing keeping me from dropping out.
i never hated nerds when i was popular. i only hated people that hated me. but my "friends" always did. i know how u feel now. but i'm not turning back.
and thankyou to the very generous person who took the time to write this very inspriational story.
good luck EVERYONE
xoxo Jayde
CrazyAlchemist
· 1 year ago
That was a great essay! I am a bit of a nerd, but I've noticed that by taking honors classes, I avoid most of the truly idiotic people. In honors classes, people who don't care about being popular are usually ignored, unless they are loud. The loud kids who don't care about being popular can actually become cool.
I tend to be the loud nerd. I've made lots of friends, so I consider myself cool, but I am not in the "popular" crowd.
o
· 1 year ago
fuumfnf
Duuuude
· 1 year ago
I am 14 & in year 9. When i was in primary school i was quite comfortable with my intelligence & there was no such thing as popular and unpopular. Then once i got to high school (as i live in Australia there is no middle school) I had a chance to become "popular" so i accepted. I lived that year being nasty to anyone considered "uncool" or different to the people in my group. Towards the end of that year i realised what it was doing to my grades. I was trying my best to hide my smarts, as to not be labelled a geek like the people all my "friends" picked on. The end of that year saw me change schools (my mothers choice, not mine) and when i arrived at my new school i realised all the sillyness of my past was over. I was true to myself and now i am a "nerd" at my school but i have realised that the ones labelled "nerds" are often the coolest kids around. They are just invisible in the eyes of anyone who thinks they are better. and to be honest? I rather my life now to my life then. I would pick it anyday ! :)
Nick
· 1 year ago
good read! it may be interresting for you to know that my school consists of different groups, however it is not popularity, but people are divided by their intrests, I find my self jumping from group to group just to socialise with my mates!
- nick , aus
gnanu
· 1 year ago
very nice essay, I've always wanted to do one of these...trying to expose the inner workings of my high school would be a lot of fun.
leahh.
· 1 year ago
hey all. this was a really great read. i could totally understand where the writer is coming from. and i am no miss popular myself. But what i have come to realise is that the more popular someone is and the more that person seems to "fit in" the more insecure he/she really is. because when you get right down to it, "nerds" and unpopular people are individual. Thats why they're so hated. And the fact they are so individual means they are comfortable enough in their own skin to be their own person and not blindly conform. hang in there guys (:
Lara
· 1 year ago
The first part of this essay clicked for me. It's true--I was smart and that was more important to me than being popular, as painfully as I longed to be liked
If someone had offered me the choice between dumbing down to be popular vs. being smart and unpopular, I'm pretty sure I would've stuck with the smart unpopular person I was through high school.
I had friends (a lot of "Can I borrow your notes?" friends in particular) but high school was lonely, a horrible time, and I didn't see beyond it at the time. I sincerely thought the world was like that and didn't know differently until college. I was so glad to be in college, and then out of school into adulthood.
I'd always secretly suspected that the "heavy responsibilities" adults kept telling me about came with a corresponding set of freedoms that weren't mentioned. And they do.
AlbeyAmakiir
· 1 year ago
You have a very negative view of teachers and the system of learning. Maybe it's because I went to an Australian school (though I don't think that made much difference), but I only ever had one teacher that didn't care about us.
The reasons for separation seem about right, although I'd like to point out that many nerds (and geeks) are autistic (or something similar), and thus don't even have much social skill anyway.
arj
· 1 year ago
You hit some very true points here. I went to a particularly horrible middle school with the children of the rich society wives and their competitive cut-throat businessmen husbands. I was a short, chubby kid who usually had his head in a VB book trying to make his own video games. I was almost drown in the school pool during Gym class by the A table kids, and basically tortured every day. The worse part was in this school the teachers seemed to be in on it, they were as shallow and bias as the kids.
Later in high school, my nerd friends and I started a band and soon rose to be leaders of the 'freaks' as you call them. We managed to ruin most of the popularity pyramid since the nerds and freaks soon made up a big enough section of the school to not care about the jocks and cheerleaders. We had formed our own society out of necessity.
However, those formative years in 7th and 8th grade had a horrible negative affect on my view of other people. I was automatically on the defensive toward anyone who seemed very social, good looking, or popular. Even after college sometimes I would catch myself thinking like this, even when the person was a genuinely good human being.
When I see things like the Columbine or Virginia Tech shootings, I have to wonder if those kids just didn't realize that this popularity system is not the real world, I know I didn't realize it at the time, and if you add affects of medications or disturbed mental state to the day to day torment, you can see how such horrible things can come about.
The good thing is, us nerds, if we survive, usually come out on top. I think parents can make a big difference, my parents, although totally NOT nerds in their high school days, constantly reminded me, it didn't matter. That it would be over in a few years and that none of these kids should have any affect on my self-worth. They helped me a lot.
If I ever have a child, I will make sure he is NOT part of the A Table, even if he could be, because, as you said I would have never traded my intelligence, my originality and creativity to fit into this system.
eNvY
· 1 year ago
commendable work and observations.i come from a place where these things don't happen in school...but in college yes...these are a permanent everyday fixture. all in all,i can say that you compiled the facts pretty well and did a good job in representing them...alienating them from what you personally feel.
Lyza
· 1 year ago
I just finished my freshmen year of college, so I've had the highschool experience quite recently...That may be true in SOME schools, but I lived in a small town, and in MY school, all of the popular kids parents pressured them to get good grades...In fact, most of the loser kids had bad grades, so it was an even worse situation...It may be true that they were indeed SMARTER, but the kids who always did the best grade-wise were definitely the popular ones. It was horrible. It made everyone who wasn't popular feel even worse about themselves, because they didn't even have a report-card to show superiority...
bwana
· 1 year ago
In 1974 at age 16 I was the smallest boy in a new boys boarding school that I started attending, it was a very lonely year and "Queer" or "Poop" where the insulting words used to degrade otherwise healthy kids who just happened to be younger.It was all about violence and who could assault you physically was the popular or feared kids ruled. In my misery I fantisised about parking a truck full of explosives next to the daily school assembly and blowing up the whole school.I hated them and wanted my persecuters dead.This was long before the first "suicide bombers" and "High School Killings"actually started happening.I thought of it first. The school was Weston Agricultural College in South Africa.
bianca
· 1 year ago
hi my name is bianca and im 14 years old. i was looking at this essay as i have to write a essay myself on why kids chooe to divide up into groups. in primary school i was happy with my intelligence and it seemed that if you wer smart then you were cool. i liked it that way cause i had friends and at the same time my grades were good. but when i got to highschool everything became different. you had to be a rebel to be cool. i wanted to be popular i must admit because its a great feelingto know you have many friends and people look up to you. and so i changed my ways to become just like the popular people. yet i started to realise that it isnt alll that good. everyone talks behid your back of how bitchy you are and everything like that. at every luch time they say mean things about people. i also noticed that my grades were getting low as i was to worried about how i ooked. i wanted to change back to how i was. i left the group i was hanging out with and joined some after school activities. but the funny thing is that i am smart now but i still have many great friendss. you no dont be mean to nerds because one day you will be working for them.
hoppingviola
· 1 year ago
In regards to AlbeyAmakiir's post:
I'm sorry, I just can't see this - many nerds and geeks are autistic? What evidence is for this? Autism is a spectrum disorder, and part of what that means is that the displayed behaviors are not different from 'normal' people but just exacerbated.
Seriously, where did that statement even come from?
Rae
· 1 year ago
I'm 16 and in high school. A lot of the smart kids are popular. But they're not the ones that get all As. They're in honors classes, but they don't necessarily get straight As. I'm smart and pretty unpopular. I found this article on my search for things about whether or not I should say yes to this guy who asked me out. He's a nice guy, but way less popular than I am. If I were just turning him down for that, I'd be a shallow jerk, but he's also not a Christian, which is extremely important to me. This article was GREAT, and thanks to the author for helping to open my eyes to it. I always knew that high school wasn't the real world, but I didn't realize to that extent. Anyway, Kudos to the author and love to all who are fellow nerds!
kajshah601
· 1 year ago
omg this has to be the most amazing thing ive ever read ! ur amazing for getting through all that but not letting it blind you but instead letting it make u more aware abt what REALLY goes on i reallly admire u and today i had my high school orientation im a nerd - kinda awkward but up until eighth grade ive had my friends , my own little niche but now im going to high tech high school without all my freinds and im TERRIFIED! all day ive felt bleh and then i searched nerds on google - pathetic . i no - and this came up ... it made my terrible crappy day so much better - well now that i hav told u mylife story that u prob could care less abt i just wanted to say i really admire u and this article rocked and will prob get me through the future worst years of my life - and when i come out i hope i can as optimistically as u write abt it and help others get through it if u could please send me some sorta reply back !!!!???? that would be soooo amazing ... -kay
langmeisje
· 1 year ago
kut leo wat een tyfus tekst, ik ga dit niet lezen
European
· 1 year ago
Thanks for this. I enjoyed reading it (through).
Society really is twisted. I guess I've never been that socially aware, just wore the clothes I liked, in some unconscious bravery. I was very quiet, and once wore a Guns 'n Roses shirt, got heavy comments on it, though one girl said she liked it. I had to bear the comments and all but I guess I have been pretty immune for what others thought. Maybe I have been relatively immune to social pressure in general. Only since a few years have I been building up some social awareness, it felt like I was applying my intelligence to get knowledge of that. But being 27 now, as I said, and working since a few years I think a lot of these strange rules still (sadly) apply to the adult world. Makes me think the office itself could be a 'fake' world like you describe high-school. Not to discourage anyone who reads this, it is a lot different, you're let to be more independent/on your own but this pressure keeps existing. People I think retain this school attitude. They trust each other not on intelligence but on social performance. It hasn't been this way during the several places I've been working but especially so in one unfortunate occasion. To conclude, about, I carry this idea for longer now, that there are two types of people (although there is a gradient): introvert and extravert. I read someone on a forum saying this difference was like that between man and woman; well I think it is even more essential and a bigger difference than that. And by the way I am speaking from the Netherlands here, fyi. To conclude, really, I so deeply and easily see why your story is optimistic (and why most poeple won't see that).
matt
· 1 year ago
at my school smart people aren't less popular it's odd that everyone seems to know someone who knows someone who knows someone as time go's on some people began to know more and more people until everyone knew everyone
KT
· 1 year ago
I have to add on a few counts. First of all, I'm generally nerdy, and I am definitely not popular. Part of this is because I can see the disgusting waste that popularity is. It's all a pathetic illusion that won't get you anywhere. What's the trade? You can't trust anyone, you can't get yourself out of a bad situation by virtue of your intellect, and it's the kind of attention that attracts people to you, whether you want to see them or not.
I just have to say that one of the most annoying things, is when people who are incredibly popular ask you for help on their homework. It's just proof of their shallow little world. It's one thing if they're going to talk to you later on, but it's entirely different if they want your help to save their grade and then ignore you later. They're entire existence is responsible to their social status, and I can only wonder how the hell they're supposed to function later on if they've never learned anything of value.
Thanks for this, though, it's important to address. Popular people are generally just very skilled liars, whether they realize it or not. The greatest question is, how do you bring to their attention a fairly complicated subject, when, thanks to their popularity, they've never done any work harder than deciding what to wear? They've already wasted so many brain cells, how can they grasp the depth (or shallowness) of their facade?
Alex Mc
· 1 year ago
wow.
I read through all of that thinking "I'm the coolest hybrid of freak and nerd ever" so much of relates to me I even find the time to fit it in to this comment. I'm in a catholic school so the "right" clothes don't apply but on civies day its like seeing the world with giant signs attached to people giving them a number on the scale of how popular they are. Its odd though how you said the most horrible years are when your age 11-14 and my first years (8-10 1/2) I didn't even seem to notice the social structure that was in place, and therefore didn't quantify/care about my own rank of popularity. But even now I just shrug it off like an annoying flying that seems to be constantly buzzing around your ear. Anywho I have to sign off because i have prison to go to tomorrow, Cheers.
Dan
· 1 year ago
Sorry to state the obvious:
Nerds are not smarter or better than the people who pick on them. Largely, they lack social skills. Social skills are largely independent of reasoning skills. Being a nerd has little to do with opting out because you want to cure cancer rather than play football. It is a result of not having self confidence.
Nerds often do better after they leave school. One reason is that many nerds need to get out of their home environment. Another is that they do have their skills more appreciated in the adult world, which can develop confidence. Another is just that some people develop social skills later than others.
JonathanS117
· 1 year ago
A wise man once said, "never make fun of a nerd, he'll probably be your future boss."
But the funny thing about being a nerd, myself included, is an undying sense of pride. In grade school I remeber getting made fun of, it raged on into junior high, but in high school everything changed. And as long as your not the I know it all nerd(dork) then you'll be fine.
Personally I started as a nerd and ended up as the among the coolest kids in high school. My trick was when ever the popularity came I shrugged it off, like it was nothing. Because it is nothing, its a waste of time, I took up music, now I play guitar, piano and the violin, finds something youre good at and stick to it
RODRIGUEZ
· 1 year ago
I'M NOT A NERD. BUT IN MY SKOOL NERD ARE COOL. PEOPLE LIKE THE SMART KIDS. WELL, THE ONES THAT DON'T LET IT GET 2 THERE HEADS. LOVED THIS ARTICAL. FOUND IT BY GOOFING AROUND ON THE COMPUTER.
buttfuck
· 1 year ago
TURN OFF CAPS LOCK
nerd
fc
· 1 year ago
It has been nearly 10 years since i graduated middle school the people that made fun of me are not doing as well me, most of those same people who talk about how many times i wore my clothes don't even have pintos, they are still catching the bus. I have forgiven those people because people that don't focus on themselves will never amount to anything.
My statistics of people that make fun of others most are very insecure and come from poverty class people, they make fun of people to feel whole.
I was in school to better myself i did go to school to be popular.
My advice is to people is forgive and forget, most of those people do not even remember you.
Lynne
· 1 year ago
Thank you SO much for posting this essay. I used to be popular but i grew up a lot before the summer of middle school. All of my old friends seemed to be focused on things that seemed pointless to me such as fashion and jerk guys. Slowly they began to isolate me. MY school is VERY small (60 in 1 grade) so I'm not bullied, but i am ignored and indirectly beaten down. This essay made me see that there is nothing wrong with me, its just that I have grown up a great deal more than the majority of my eight grade. Thank you so much, your a great writer
buttfuck
· 1 year ago
Learn to speak engrish. I'm smart, as are the majoriy of my friends, and none of us have ever committed suicide, or even entertained the idea. the correlation between intelligence and popularity has no relation, its whether or not you have the dignity (or lack thereof) to sacrifice work for motivation. DVX Nobis
buttfuck
· 1 year ago
^^ what the hell are you talking about? you considere suicide constantly, and have no friends... and whats with the fascist propaganda?
chet
· 1 year ago
dude? what??
lets just go get some natty ice and chill. we can totally bro out broskie. bro, bro bro bro...you know what calms me down? listening to dave matthews
Luczek
· 1 year ago
Like Alex and KT, I too am a smart person in a Catholic School who is mocked and then asked to help the other "smart" people with their homework. I hate the idea of jeans days as they mean ridicle and ostracism. It's like the world no longer knows what to do when they meet an intelligent, apathetic, teenage girl. How many girls at your school prefer Firefly and Stargate:SG-1 to The Notebook? *gag* I am one of few girls I know who hates her mother's favorite movies... The World is not made for us, and I'm glad this essay shows that.
elgenius
· 1 year ago
HA! Finally, I have found what I'm looking for. I'm 13 and have been thinking things along the lines of this. Everything makes more sense after reading this essay. I want to personally thank you.
Chelinka / NubMasterNoob
· 1 year ago
Wow. You made a nice statement, but we think it's too long (especially for a bunch of "weird" sixth graders). Chelinka and I do not want to be popular, as you said, but it does seem like there is some stereotype in school.
Anyways, nice job (typing a very long paper)!
--Nub and Chelinka
Brian Dunlop
· 1 year ago
Man, this was a really well thought essay and it really speaks to me, I think that I'm sort of a rebel in school and I don't really like egotisitcal "popular kids", idk I think I'm a little more mature that that, but I have used drugs before, pot, acid, shrooms, coke, now you'd probably think I'm a drug addict now, but I'm not. I use to smoke pot everyday and I've tried coke twice and shrooms and acid once, and I don't do any drugs now. I think that high school life has really fucked with my head. Man, fuck high school. Why can't people just be chill like me and don't really give a shit, I just do what I got to do in school and then I'm like fuck it, I'll see you guys later, I'm gonna go home, I got better things to do. Also, I went to a restaurant, recently and when I was done I said to one of the waitresses, "I wish everyone was as nice as waitresses" and she just smile at me and laughed, but I think I'm right. I'm worried about my future and these people are worrying about what some kid that they hardly even know and probably will have nothing to do with their life after high school is gonna think if they do this, I'm just like fuck it. They're the weirdos, I'm trying to make something out of my life and they just want to be followers, while I'm trying to be a leader and they'll just float through life and I'll be a big success.
Guy
· 1 year ago
I admire your effort of writing this essay. You really did good job and made me understand the mechanics of school-society much better! I'm not in that bad situation in school, but I can't really say that I would be popular, so this cheered me up. Thanks man, respect! :P
guy from norway
· 1 year ago
... this is stupid. why? because its not about being popular its about understanding social dynamics, and tbh its not complicated. Read about it perform it and go on with your goal to be smart.
all grown up
· 1 year ago
people self-segregate. In your map of the lunchroom, would the inhabitants of the "D" table be comfortable with interlopers from the "A" table? Later in life nothing changes--accountants tend to know other accountants, ex-cons tend to hang with other ex-cons, ect. I have learned, in the 22 years since high school, to evaluate my fellows by their character instead of their popularity. I find the content of most's character to be sadly lacking and I just end up hanging out with my kids. (more fun anyway, scooby-doo and snow cones shared with my kids is the whole point of life)
yolio_o
· 1 year ago
:O finally!! im 13 and have always why im depressed all the time,even though it never looks like i am . . .:c but alot of things make more sence now
i have to read this a few times though :c thanks! <3 -yoli
sointex
· 1 year ago
you are a idiot.
Damon
· 1 year ago
This essay is right on.
Paddy O'Door
· 1 year ago
nerds are gay
eighth grader
· 1 year ago
your 2 dads are.
That Guy
· 11 months ago
Let's not bring the issue into homosexuality into this. First of all, you're clearly one of those darned popular kids. Second, why is homosexuality considered bad. Love is love and there's too little love in this world, so if some dudes/dudettes love those of the same gender, there's nothing wrong with that. So you Paddy O'Door, have nothing relevant to say and you should just shut up.
Kristina
· 1 year ago
Well... power to you.
I have to say that in your table map at high school, I'd probably be on an A table. Not trying to boast. I don't enjoy it. I spend about two hours per day on my physical appearance and I don't always say what I personally actually think. I'm starting to get sick of all the bitching and everything that goes on in the popular groups. I was wondering earlier what it would be like to ditch everybody - the footballers and the popular girls - and just spend one lunch sitting and eating by myself. Or maybe find someone who's often made fun of who's sitting on their own and sit with them. Chat with them for a bit, see what they really are like as a person.
Oops, this is turning into an essay too, now.
Best wishes. Kristina.
Lyla Fischer
· 1 year ago
I think that this essay would be a good one to translate into "Why don't women go into technological fields". As a female programmer, this is especially near and dear to my heart and I think that a lot of it has to do with nerd being unpopular in high school. I think that girls ARE more sensitive to the popularity bubble, and are more likely to avoid doing things to their image that will loose them friends.
However, at least in my case, this just meant that I had three jobs, because I refused to give up any element of my life in favor of another- my family, my schoolwork and my friends were each vying for my attention, and it was hard to keep up. I rarely let them intermingle. My parents did not really come to my softball games or musicals. They knew about them, but I did not force them to mix. I did technical things, like programming, at home where my friends would not have to watch. They knew that I liked it, but I did not want to talk about anything too specific because they would not like it. It was part of getting good at pleasing people. It was not that they would actively put me down because I liked to program- it was that they did not particularly enjoy it themselves, and I was not going to bore them.
This also meant that I could only be at the 'B' table, however that was a conscious choice. I did not want to have to lie about who I was, as I did during my short stint with the 'A' table, but I was also not really a nerd because the 'B' table had enough social power to stave off any attacks.
However, I agree that it was not the best for my personal development. I got in the habit of avoiding detailed discussions about anything technical. One of the biggest shocks I received in going to a technical college was the freedom of math. It felt like porn- and I am not exaggerating. It was a topic about which I thought all the time, but it absolutely forbidden to talk about out loud, at least in my circle.
Finally, I just wanted to say that I think that the need for popularity is the single largest deterrent to women in technical fields. You have to give up one or the other or do the perilous double major- which is very difficult. And, despite my love of programming and math, I have to say that, in high school, if I had to choose one or the other, I would have chosen popularity, at least enough to say off of the 'D' table. Call me sexist, but I think that this is a more likely choice for women in general, and it is a horrible choice to have to make.
Senator
· 1 year ago
Yeah, popularity really is a system. I have to say, the smart people should have the upper hand. I am smart and an academic nerd (I'm 2nd. in my class), however, I chill at A nd B tables. cuz I do fit in the popular circles. I didn't start there, though. I used to eat by myself and all that jazz..........then one day, my intelligence kicked in and said, "Man, you're smarter than them. Figure out what they do, and do it better." It's a system. Once you master it, enjoy the ride.
fierymerengue
· 1 year ago
How do you master the system? I'm so tired of waiting; my patience is tapped out.
Barbara Saunders
· 1 year ago
I agree with you. I went to an academically selective private school. The dynamic was just as you describe, though the ranking system had different parameters. Medium smart, artistically talented, and rich got you to the top. Lesser academic talent was a killer -- unless you were rich and even if you were attractive. Lack of physical attractiveness was a weighted factor, however, that could pull you to the bottom. I successfully worked "mysterious" in combination with moderate academic success plus music and sports.
smart b-baller
· 1 year ago
Nerds are cool they always humour us in a weird way which is lol plus you get to brag if you beat a nerd on a test (which is easy) and they cant brag back the reason they are unpopular is because being smart might mean you lack athletisism or interests of cool stuff and hey this is coming from a twelve year old
Daniel
· 1 year ago
"Why? To someone in school now, that may seem an odd question to ask. The mere fact is so overwhelming that it may seem strange to imagine that it could be any other way. But it could." I totally support you on this. I address this comment mainly to the nerds who are suffering in high school right now. It really can be different, and among kids too, not only among adults.
Most of my knowledge of American high school comes from American movies (I'm not from the U.S.). When I was watching all these movies (my freshman year in college) I was very surprised: schools in the U.S. look nothing like the school I went to. There was even no such notion as "popularity" there. OK, I admit it, my school was a Math one, but anyway, I've got a brother who went to a more usual school, and he didn't show any signs of suffering from any sort of a popularity system. In my school it was like this: the smarter you are, the more respect you gain from your peers. I got better grades than most of my friends, and yet it didn't make me their enemy. At first I simply didn't understand, I didn't even believe that things can be upside down somewhere. I thought that those movies' authors were just kidding that way. Now I see that it is actually true. I'm saying this so that you know: it really can be different. And not only in special schools. When I was 12 I still went to a usual school. Then I went to a special math school. And I didn't want to go there, even though I love math. I didn't want to lose all my friends from the old school. And please note that I was the smartest and I was among the worst on the football field. I was friends with those best on the football field, they respected my skills at math, and I also respected those things they were good at (football, basketball etc.). I might say we even envied each other a bit, but only a bit. You being nerds is in fact a great luck, and you will see it sooner or later. Please, please don't change! Stay smart, stay individual, stay different. Maybe I'm too young myself to give you advice about your lives (I'm 21), but take my word that now I'm happy I'm a nerd. The laws of "real life" are created by people like you, the most successful people are like you. Try not to hate your tormentors: your reward is coming, their times will end soon )
wish
· 1 year ago
Yeah, I never talked to anybody in high school because it was just too much pressure to come up with anything to say. It was like a constant test. So I always sat by myself, waiting for it to end.
I always liked hanging out with the older kids and the cool pot smokers who didn't take themselves so seriously... I met all of them outside of school.
After High School I took a break and worked my job, smoked pot, tripped on LSD, drank beer, and intently wandered aimlessly for 7 years. Now that I have my self esteem and social anxiety issues solved, I can't wait to go back to college and get my business degree... and get laid. ;-)
Jonathan
· 1 year ago
It's social intelligence. Most "smart kids" don't have that. They have a lot of esoteric knowledge, hence the term "nerd," but can't comb their hair right or converse normally. A lot of professionals are starting to link that with Asperger's syndrome.
P.S. Fuck the popular kids in highschool, it doesn't work that way in real life. I am so much cooler than anybody I know now. Also you'll realize that what is popular is usually stupid as hell. I mean, come on, have you seen MTV in the daytime lately? That's what the popular kids watch. Do you really want to be them? You don't have to be popular to get girls or have fun. You can have it all with those wonderful brains of yours.
Guest
· 1 year ago
Haha, I seem to like this article too. I guess you could call me a nerd-- that's what everyone else does! I'm more in the group of freak for some reason, although I believe I'm far from it. I don't do drugs, I'm relatively smart and I don't do drugs. I do wear black, but only because I feel it's the only thing that looks good on me. From the things I am witnessing now as a high school student most of your points are valid. However, the nerds in our school... the really goofy, smart kids... most of them are the popular ones! It's their good looks, connections, and overall capability to make others laugh that makes them popular. I, myself, am very, very shy. I'm not that pretty and I probably look as if I don't give a damn about the popularity system. It's not that I want to be popular. I just want to have normal friends. But at this rate, I'll be stuck with the same people because they are the only ones who will accept me. I never dress to impress, I don't "get my hair did," and I've never gotten a pedicure/manicure. I don't like making fun of others, a popular thing for the popular kids to do, and I definitely don't like doing drugs. If that is what is in the popularity system... screw that.
And teachers definitely do NOT make the system better. Parents either. One of my science teachers gave me a 'F' on a project because others in my group slacked off. We were the group of outcasts. He gave the group next to us, a group of pretty blondes with short-shorts, a 90, 'B'. I asked if there was anything I could do to bring it up, given that I had done my part of the assignment... he said, "No." The girls besides us complained to him once and he gave them an 'A' instead. Bullshit much? Did he give them that grade because they looked and were in the popularity circle?
I wish that teens were not pushed into a popularity hierarchy, but that is indeed what happens. If only change would occur, but when would that happen in a world so quickly degrading?
georgejenks
· 1 year ago
I stumbled upon this by typing "why" into google search, I originally just intended to leave a comment telling you how refreshing it was to read n article that appears to have been written by someone who is genuinly intelligent. I am 15 and go to school in England, I wouldn't consider myself a nerd, infact i would say that i am on one of the tables of A or B in your sketch, but i don't know the people inyour school, it's often a case of what ones "type of people" are rather than simply their popularity. I also play for my district rugby team and often represent the school in sporting competitions, it may be that i fall into your smart kids exception group, but i don't feel picking on nerds has ever been an issue in my group of friends. One of the main reasons teachers and adults (who you so wonderfully grouped together as one group, in my opinion one of the flaws in this article) seem to egsasurbate the situation is because they throw around clichéd lines, I'm sure you've all heard the type of thing i mean, without really thinking deply into them, and as a young person, you don't delve on these sayings, thing's like "be yourself" have only recently begun to make sense to me, valuable morals are cramped into a few sayings that are commonly thrown round, alot of the time by people who haven't thought about them themselves. Like many problems, the situation of unpopular smart people or nerds, is caused by common ignorance. The reason this ignorance is existant almost everywhere you go is simply because there is no drive or need to not be. Also, I feel comprehensive schools can never cater to everyones needs or skills, the type of intelligence they can measure is very narrow, people cannot always give the best of themselves in writing, which is how schools test pupils in almost all cases. It takes a different type of intelligence for example to be win an election, it is not always the party with the cleverest leader or the best manifesto who wins, it is simply the party which the public likes best for whatever reason, much like thesituation you've described in schools.
I apologise for the way this has been written, I havent had a chance to read it back, and my family call me for dinner, and i am one of those who cannot articulate themselves very well in writing.
lizkisko
· 1 year ago
I really liked your analysis of public schooling in America. I, too, believe that there are so many flaws that one teacher cannot really fix them (thus the reason I teach at a private school). But I do hope that people realize the pointlessness of much of public schooling, and I also hope that private schools will not just assume that giving students uniforms and having different curricula make the school itself any different than their public counterparts. Schools ought to have a real purpose, beyond just safeguarding kids from the evils of the "outside world." They should have a very clear focus, and the learning and activities should revolve around this. An active faculty and meaningful purpose will do wonders to create a microcosm that more accurately represents the real world that students will enter once they graduate.
ArthurMcGowan
· 1 year ago
WHY is there no "external pressure" on schools to be better--i.e., to be REALLY related to the real world, to do a better job, to be more human, etc.
Because the government schools were DESIGNED to be free precisely from this "pressure."
Because the parents' money is TAKEN from them, mostly in property taxes, and then appropriated by the government to run the schools, the parents have NO power. The schools are socialist. The market has been disabled in the case of government schools.
The government schools were imported by American socialists from socialist Prussia. They were always INTENDED to undermine the bond between parent and child, and to undermine the society that had formed naturally in America.
The most powerful, malign, and longest-running HOAX in U.S. history is "the public school." It is a hoax because this massive socialist enterprise, which runs counter to everything truly American, has managed by more than a century of propaganda, to convince the majority of Americans that "without our public schools, our country will fracture, breaking down into warring factions."
Schools, public and private, are NOT designed to meet the needs of children.
PARENTS are designed to meet the needs of children. Homeschooling--TRUE homeschooling, not imitation at home of what goes on in schools--is based on NATURE. With homeschooling, male children have both a male and female teacher and a male role model for father, husband, complete male human being, female children have a female and male teacher, and a female role model for mother, wife, and complete female human being.
Homeschooling is an unfortunate name for a Fully Functioning Family. It's a negative word, like "horseless carriage." It's "school"--but at school. A Fully Functioning Family should not define itself by the negative fact that the children are "not in school."
The NATURALNESS of a fully functioning family is what the ideologue socialist gender-benders HATE. They hate life, they hate nature, they hate marriage, they hate the family. And 90% of American children are spending six to eight hours a day inside this statist, socialist, unnatural system.
emmah
· 1 year ago
I am a nerd but I was lucky that I went to a Grammar school. Nearly all the smart children go there in my country. I attended Grammar school since 11 to 18. Many people are against these schools because they think that children shouldn't be separated that early. I disagree with that because even now many people think that I am a bit weird and it is sometimes difficult to up with it and I couldn't imagine how bad it would be in puberty. I am sorry for my bad english.
Robyn
· 1 year ago
Very Well Said.
CDMVme
· 1 year ago
Thank you for writing this ! I totally agree with what you say ! I'm not in an American school and I have no idea of how it is, but here, in France, you could think sociaty is "softer" but if you take a closer look, you can see everybody is playing a part, and school is just a big play with "in" and "out" people. Nobody seems to be realising it! Teenagers just need to open their eyes.
red neckk
· 1 year ago
ther is no ppoint to skool.
Akis Katsman
· 1 year ago
good text. it's sad how the minority (nerds) is seen so badly from the majority (the more popular kids). if you ask me, I think that having intelligence or doing some productive thing, should get much more credit than wearing cool sunglasses or talking dirty like a bastard. the last things don't make you a significant person, sorry. at least not for someone with an average IQ or more. but people, especially teenagers, are not interested in knowledge or doing something good, but in coolness and how to attract bitches. yes, it's true. well, I'm 23, so I have understood these things now, at least. some other people don't (or don't want to).
jewbileeeee
· 1 year ago
wow.. what a read it's just so true
monica
· 1 year ago
Well I am smart and popular. Actually Im the third most popular kid in the school and I am the second smartest. I do not like when people prototype like that because I am both and I am proud.
cartman1993
· 1 year ago
I do declare - I am smarter than you. When you say, "prototype" I think you mean "stereotype." A prototype is a first or preliminary model of something. Stereotypes are widely held and oversimplified ideas about a type of person or thing. They are also a real time-saver. HA! I JUST TOTALLY OUT NERDED YOU!
How do you know you are exactly the third most popular kid in school and the second smartest? Did you and your friends take a poll or something? How very nerdy/popular of you.
CatCeville
· 1 year ago
stereotype, Monica... the word you're looking for is stereotype, not prototype. A prototype is something completely different.
And where are you getting your rankings? How do you know that you're the "third most popular kid" in school and "the second smartest"? I assume that some sort of popularity contest could be used to determine popularity rankings, but how are you quantifying "smartness"? Do you have the highest GPA? The highest IQ? Tested highest in your class on the PSAT? What's the standard and what's the curve?
Which all adds up to making me question your veracity in saying that you're the second "smartest" kid in your school, or makes me wonder how "smart" the kids at your school can actually be.
cartman1993
· 1 year ago
You took the words right out of my... HEY!
NERD - OFF!!!
Grace
· 1 year ago
I agree, I'd like to know the basis of how they're measuring intelligence, of the top 10 GPAs in my class, only three of them I would of classified as in the 10 most intelligent kids in my school (I partially base this on success in college, participation in non-athletic activities, knowing the people and talking to them about outside interests, etc... of course this is all in my opinion)... and in my experience the people who deem themselves the most popular, were generally more hated than other people in the popular cliques.
gvdav
· 1 year ago
yup
gvdav
· 1 year ago
boner jam
Rev. Luke
· 1 year ago
It's hard to argue with this essay, & I cant claim to disagree with a thing in it. I certainly was in the higher levels of nerd-dom (the ones who were not only smart & inept, but skilled & progressive, with a self-identity that insulated us from the worst of middle & high school harshness), but as a dad I homeschooled my sons, making them a vital part of the family, community, &, I hope, world. The only thing I will say on behalf of the dismal public school culture, is that, at least, I learned intelligence. That is, though I cant remember most of the facts, I do recall the process of thinking more deeply than I otherwise would have. Oh, yes, a dollar bill is just paper, & it is symblic of a wider social agreement...stuff like that. Also, growing up in a sheltered religious family, I got exposed to things other than what my parents offered. I know this isnt much, but its something. Do yourself & your kids a favor: homeschool them or send them to a charter school that is more respectful of their personhood.
cartman1993
· 1 year ago
NERD!!!!!
Sir Tristan
· 1 year ago
Theres full of bullying in schools in USA. I go to a boy school in Liverpool UK (St. Margaret's High School) and even though bullying is a bit of a problem, they have "Bully-busters" departament which solves EVERY problem. Trust me. Not to mention the uniforms - yeah, I would go to USA High School for a week to check it all out. And yeah, i would want fit girls to support school's rugby team. But the article is really good.
Sir Andrew
· 1 year ago
in my school the smart kids are the popular kids. id say im smarter than average and i have a good amount of friends but im definitely not an outcast..
my friends and i sit in the 'a' section even though we probably belong in the 'b' or 'c' haha
but we do have lots of friends in the cafe so its ok
Sharon
· 1 year ago
I totally agree. I'm not exactly a nerd, but I am considered "one of the smart people" and quite unpopular. Popularity doesn't suit me. It seems ridiculous to me that people spend so much effort in an area of their life that is very minor. But it does make me miserable. For instance, I am not accepted by popular people, but my personality is not considered "nerdy" enough to have friends labeled as that. I think the part about suicide is very true. I once made a list brainstorming methods of suicide and listing the advantages and disadvantage, after researching for a few months. After I decided which method to use, I decided I was too cowardly to kill myself. Well, I realized that even though my life is screwed up, I still can make a difference to this world someday. Hopefully.
kg
· 1 year ago
Why are you US guys so worried about "popularity". You wanna be such a show off!!
CanadianKid14
· 1 year ago
It's not something that happens voluntarily, as it was stated before it is just the circumstance that our society creates. Re-read the essay and see if it makes more sense.
The Black Knight
· 1 year ago
um.........................NERD
CanadianKid14
· 1 year ago
That was a good read. I'm 16 and in high school, I too was at the D table all throughout Junior High, the thing is I shifted focus coming into High School. I was the "nerd" who decided to become popular.
It's weird, comparing me now and me then, I am much less nerdy and I have many more friends. I've all but discarded my nerd label that I was addressed by for three years, over the course of one year. The best part is, I retained my inelegance. I'm no longer a nerd, but I'm no were near popular, or at least I don't think. I've moved from the D table to the C table, I may actually be closer to a B then a C.
However, like I said I retained my inelegance. As you said the nerds have to find it within themselves, I know I did. And if these "nerds" try hard enough, they can have both: Smarts, and popularity. Your popularity may not be at the top of the social ladder, but it is a huge step above what you had before.
Again, an excellent read.
Mia
· 1 year ago
I'm amazed. Truly amazed. You, sir, have described high school perfectly. I'm 16, in high school, and hate it with every fiber of my being. I'm very unpopular...more like a nerd-freak hybrid--"emo", if you will. My mom has offered me the chance to change to an accelerated school, but seeing as i've already put down roots where I am, it's nearly impossible to leave until graduation. I loved your article, and frankly I wish more people would read it. It seriously made me tear up because it showed me that i'm not the only one with these problems. God bless.
Jam
· 1 year ago
Your brain thinks like mine, you just put it better.
nerdygirl
· 1 year ago
What I also find interesting is that politicians who act too intellectual are labeled elitist, which is simply another way of calling them 'nerds.'
However, as soon as I got to High School, popularity became irrelevent because there were so many social groups that they all had about the same amount of people. It was only the Tam-O-Kids (school slang for rich kids derived from the gated community where they lived) that controlled the ASB and were considered 'popular' by the common definition.
Andrea
· 1 year ago
I adore this essay. It epitomizes everything I think of. I have always wondered why being popular was so important. I was nowhere being popular but I aws happy to say I wasn't at the bottom. But, I always wanted to help out and stop this crazy system; I never did. Well, maybe I can still. I guess I just came into a monstorously upgraded system from elemtanry school but its still harsh. Though I want to be "popular", I probably never will. But, guess what? I'd rather prick myself with a thorn than others with my thorn.
Andrea
· 1 year ago
I've read the reply to your essay and the one about "nerds deserve it" made me think. I know someone ( trust me its not me it really is someone i know) who tries her best not to talk and is very pleasant. Yet everyone continously makes fun of her. Why? Same reason as you stated. So, she may not be Miss Universe, I believe everyone should just forget about appearances for just one single second! It angers me when people are cruel to those who have done practically nothing wrong. No, not all nerds deserve it. In fact, many I know don't. It's just the world we live in goes by one single sadistic rule: step on their pain befor they can step on yours.
Grace
· 1 year ago
In high school, I always always the weird kid who people would come to in every class if they didn't know how to do something - ranging from calculus to chemistry to theater... I really didn't dress or act like anyone else (aside from maybe my best friend) at school, nor was I into the same music... and by all means, there was really no reason that I shouldn't of been shunned (which I was during middle school), other than at some period between 13 and 14 my self esteem improved dramatically - probably because I had began acting and had come to find that I had a knack for it and people loved my big personality on stage... I really think you neglected how big of an effect confidence can really make in how popular someone is - while intelligent children tend to have high self efficacy, their self confidence tends to be lower than that of their peers - perhaps because they're more sensitive to the world around them due to their intelligence. I got by being well liked and dare I say, even popular (maybe a B+) through most of high school... while doing things like reading Chomsky, books on neurological development, biochemistry, and other things which did not much interest my peers.
My other partial objection in here is regarding academics, at least in science fields, right now I am just finishing up my degree in biochemistry and genetics and I am about to go to Oxford to do research for a brief time before I (hopefully) enter a graduate program to continue my studies in biochemistry. I've done a good deal of research in genetics and neurology for an undergraduate student, have authored a publication and been to a conference... the point of all of this isn't to say how well I've done, but more that I am pretty well networked among biochemists, geneticists and a few other science academics... and while being nerdy may be exaggerated (I know this well, after making and telling a few too many jokes about my research)... but, at least among professors it seems like charisma is becoming ever increasingly important. You're expected to be nerdy and weird, but also have a somehow magnetic personality... it's sort of an interesting dichotomy.
Laney
· 1 year ago
The writer starts with a disclaimer that he went through puberty, played soccer, and started an “underground newspaper” to dissuade people from calling him a disgruntled nerd. Well, that would put him at maybe the “C” table, tops. It also allows him to pretend that he could have been popular, but because he wanted to be “smart,” he opted to be a nerd. He also admits that at his high school, “being smart just didn't matter much.” But then, he goes on to say, “there was something else I wanted more [than popularity]: to be smart.” Why not opt for both, if you’re so smart? And despite stating from the outset that “smart” and “nerd” aren’t interchangeable, he certainly uses them as such. I’d argue that while the author and his friends saw five distinct social levels (assumedly, since they’re labeled A-E), those that he labels popular would likely have seen three. If “this nightmare scenario happens without any conscious malice,” why the blame? His evidence is one clueless teacher and “what [he has] read” about prisons. “And so, apparently, do society wives; in some parts of Manhattan, life for women sounds like a continuation of high school, with all the same petty intrigues.” There’s a hierarchy and a pecking order no matter where your place in society is; I work in IT and those who are “technical” look down on those who fulfill administrative functions, those who aren’t in the Union look down on those who are, etc. I’d like to see some statistics here; from where did he draw this conclusion? He admits that “sometimes, particularly in university math and science departments, nerds deliberately exaggerate their awkwardness in order to seem smarter.” So… basically everyone is posturing? Why is the posturing of the nerds excusable? He claims to “remember sitting in the audience at a "pep rally" at my high school, watching as the cheerleaders threw an effigy of an opposing player into the audience to be torn to pieces. I felt like an explorer witnessing some bizarre tribal ritual.” This was obviously organized by adults and administrators, so where is the blame for those who should have been in control here? “Officially the purpose of schools is to teach kids.” No, it isn’t. Look at the literature, or ask any educational professional what the purpose of schools is. They’ll tell you it is socialization.
t
· 1 year ago
ttttt
gadgetgeek
· 1 year ago
I can see your point of veiw, and I agree to parts of it. I think we don't want to be popular might have a little to do with it for some things. I wanted to be popular, and off topic, but if you want to make your life a heck of a lot easier, accept that you will never fit in because no matter how much you want it, in a standardized school, either you are a brainless jerk who's more conserned with his hair than their test scores, and will end up working in a factory that the "nerds" run, or you have a brain and are an automatic outcast. end of story
Henry Cao
· 1 year ago
I agree with most of this, though I would have to say that it is a rather radical viewpoint.
nerd_loves_teddies
· 1 year ago
nerds make the best relationship partners, hubby and wife. there is more than just what you see; thick lens glasses, crazy outfit, crazy diet, rock music and funny love for gizmos. try dating a nerd......mind you don't get impatient after the first date!!
kisslesrock
· 1 year ago
I never thought of it that way. Thank you!
flc2006
· 1 year ago
Kids are just cruel you gotta move on with your life, i was not that popular in grades K-12. I realized i had to move on most of those people that made fun of me do not even remember me.
What boosted my confidence is when my father bought me my first vehicle, if it were not for that i would be down, also working with my big sister helped me see that light i gotta let the bad people from my past go.
I have seen some of classmates from school the majority of them do not have cars, if they have a car it is almost twenty years old. Having material things helps self esteem to a certain extent, when you are doing good you do not have the time to worry about people that are not helping you achieve your goals i put those school years behind me. I realize that was in school to get a education, not to be cool.
well
· 1 year ago
I liked it but I think some of it was just a repeat of somthing said earlier on and was just wasted space...lol Anyways great work.
Patrick
· 1 year ago
This essay was almost Chestertonian (which is the highest compliment I can give) in its insights, conclusions, and truth. I've never heard anyone analyze high school life in such an illuminating way, making me realize so much about my own experience. Life and learning are awesome, but high school had very little to do with either.
Ben
· 1 year ago
Well, I just graduated from 8th grade a month ago, and I went to a small private school. I'm a nerd, but so far, and probably because of my small class, I haven't had many problems with it. I can honestly say I like most of my classmates, and I'm seldom treated badly because of it. I occasionally feel like I'm on the outside looking in, but that's probably my own choice as much as anything. I did find most of what's said ion this article to be true, though less so in my case. Even in what's basically a great group of kids, I can see the casual cruelty that seems to be hardwired in. It also helps that it's a relatively smart class. I've also honestly realized quite a bit of what's being said here, at least about it not being some natural fact of life or all my fault; I certainly don't feel that's there's something wrong with me. I'm privileged to be able to see the situation somewhat objectively, and to have access to sources of discussion like this article. I have found that people sometimes try to become outcasts, so they'll fit in to the nerd group; I try to be myself .Still, I'm having a great time with my life; we'll have to see what happens in high school. And phew, what a long first comment. This is the third essay on this site that I've read, and so far they've all been interesting and thought provoking. Great job.
papagenabird
· 1 year ago
i'm an 18 year old girl going to start at mit in the fall and i think you are so very right. its not that we didn't want to have friends or we didn't have the ability to make friends. its not that we were unattractive, annoying, or uninteresting to talk with, we were just distracted with schoolwork.
sometimes i regret it.
Rajesh Nandipaty
· 1 year ago
Thank you for my confidence.
bahrom
· 1 year ago
i am just so glad to read ur article......now it really feels like it is not a crime to be a 'NERD'
DensityDuck
· 1 year ago
There's two reasons that girls dont' like nerds.
One is that we aren't hot.
The other is that nerds don't need to be "fixed". I can walk and talk and dress myself and clean up the bathroom, flush the toilet, make dinner, find and keep a job. I don't spend the entire day in my underpants playing Xbox eating Triscuits and Wispride. I don't need to find a Mom to take care of me. I can't be molded and shaped and turned into something that she can look at and say, "what a good person am I, that I turned this uncultured brute into a human being."
Mark
· 1 year ago
Unlike male-to-female attraction, which is primarily based on physical appearance, female-to-male attraction is primarily based on social status (i.e. "coolness"). It's hard-wired into us. The difference between high school and the real world is that social status is much more complex in the real world.
Bill Thompson
· 1 year ago
im 24 going on i can honestly say that highschool is the worst time it has always been particulary bad in my opinion that time i can remember before i got into highschool i had my throat cut open my bicylce vandalised several times being called names and so on.
it might sound horribly insensitive and believe me i do feel bad for those that died, but for me the best part of my school life was after columbine i was a nice quiet kid who took a lot of shit and after that people were a bit afraid to push me because of what might happen.
also this is damn insightful, i want to make every kid read it once a year from age 10 to 15 (yeah i know hard enough getting the average kid to read a paragraph let alone this whole thing) it might give some youth like i was hope (and trust me i felt pretty hopeless at times. having my throat cut open and bike vandalized were 2 of the more minor things that happened) and show bully's a reason to be nice to nerds.
hope
· 1 year ago
I'm 26 and the only time my life stopped being tortuous was the day after Columbine. I actually had guys who had slammed my head into lockers, and others who had verbally harangue me for years come up and apologize to me :O I don't have a violent bone in my body, but all of a sudden the principal and teachers were bending over backward making sure I wasn't being emotionally or physically tortured any more.
I can honestly say that after 10 years of constant harrassment and emotional and physical torment (combined with extreme religious views hoisted on me by parents that it was the Christian thing to never fight back) that the massacre at Columbine made the assholes at least afraid to try to break me, and it definitely made life bareable after I had gone through so much.
Mark
· 1 year ago
I was pretty badly scarred by high school -- mine was so small, I was basically the only nerd. Paul Graham is exactly right in that being at the bottom of the hierarchy means everyone one else tortures you to improve their own social standing. I'm 33 now and still experience pretty extreme social anxiety in certain situations. It's a learned response, and it's hard to break.
Pegasus
· 1 year ago
I'd say it's the other way round.
BECAUSE you're not popular, it forces you into developing some kind of other strength, like "intelligence".
Everyone need something to pride themselves of. If you cannot pride yourself of being good looking, funny or social, then one option is to adapt a "nerd" image.
Also...... I disagree with the notion that nerds are REALLY intelligent. They are just more reflected in certain areas, in terms of having spent more time than other people pondering about certain things.
I don't think most nerds have any genetic advantages that them making them more intelligent. I think it's mostly a self taught thing... achieved by focusing wery strongly on certain subjects.
fgsdfg
· 1 year ago
dipohiojtoihmiomshmiodsh
Proud Nerd
· 1 year ago
Hi Pegasus, I happen to be a nerd becoming a freshmen this year, and I have to say that i did not teach myself to be a nerd, nor do I have more time to ponder about certain things. popular people think that nerds read and only read and study, but in real life, nerds study less than popular people, we just care about what our future is going to be, not how our life is now. it annoys the crap out of me that popular people do this stereotyping. we are just like you and are really intelligent. i do one thing, which is listen, unlike popular people who like to talk and chit chat. I don't want to be mean to anyone, but social classes should just leave each other alone. and its better to be the smart and successful as an adult because the nerdiest kid in school may be the guy you work for.
Deepelmdesciple
· 1 year ago
This is true. I was never a nerd or completely retarded but in 8th grade I hung out with a few nerds, and by 10th grade I was the center of the popular crowd. And the only thing that changed was that I was on the football team at that point, and I spent every second interacting with everyone who was anyone. If I hadn't answered my phone, went to a party, or said yes to anyone important who wanted to do something I could've been left behind in an instant. It's alot of work. But I always thought of it as practice because in the real world you have to get around and network with people like that constantly, and be good at it, because its not what you know, its who you know. Thats the difference between the two I think, the ways we absorbed information. Popular people just thought it was better to always know what was going on with the people. I mean, can you accomplish more if you're the smartest person in America, or if the important and influential people are your friends??
Tickey
· 1 year ago
After school out in the real world,what attracts a woman to a man is the size of his wallet.Woman are genetically programed to exploit a mans bank balance.
a good friend
· 1 year ago
I'm cool noty nerdy
tigerthink
· 1 year ago
Attention all nerds:
If you live in California, there is a test called the CHSPE that you can take after your sophomore year in high school. If you pass you can go to college two years early. You will probably end up going to community college, but community college is much better IMO. Generally you can transfer to a four-year university from there.
tigerthink
· 1 year ago
Attention all nerds:
If you live in California, there is a test called the CHSPE that you can take after your sophomore year in high school. If you pass you can go to college two years early. You will probably end up going to community college, but community college is still much better than high school. Generally you can transfer to a four-year university from there.
tigerthink
· 1 year ago
Woops, sorry for the dupe. :-(
shadowlifting
· 1 year ago
I followed this exact pattern. I went to a community college and the California college system makes it very easy to be accepted into a UC. I went to UCLA and graduated with a math degree. It was a really convenient way to go and I definitely suggest it over high school.
Art_Nerd
· 1 year ago
You made some really interesting points in this essay. I just finished my first year of teaching high school art and all I can say is some of my kids are really cruel to each other. In education classes I learned that public schools partly developed to protect kids from sweat shops and child labor during the industrial revolution. More than just keeping them off the streets schools are meant to protect kids and prepare them for our society. I think in some ways high school is a microcosm of our harsh capitalistic society. It is a difficult world at any age. When I was in high school I was never really picked on but I it was a pretty miserable experience. I think I sort of kept to myself and dressed in a way that conformed enough so that nobody noticed me. I used to try to take so many extra classes that I didn't have a lunch period. I think I was only in the cafeteria for a full lunch period once in all four years. The semester I had a lunch my art teacher let me stay in his room and paint. Now that I'm teaching I sometimes wonder how I can actually make the experience better for my kids. It is hard though, I get so overwhelmed with trying to plan decent lessons and keep the class running smoothly that it is tough to really know what is going on in their world. I have to admit I'm pretty far removed from understanding their social lives, but I guess I was removed from the social scene when I was a student too. I think it is even tougher because the students I teach are from a very different socio-economic background than I grew up in and I don't always understand their culture. I really do feel like a prison warden sometimes. I have to be really strict or they try to walk all over me, especially since I'm pretty young. I’m 26 but the first day they thought I was a student. It is a battle just to get them to put any effort into their class work. It may be compounded by the fact that some of my colleagues let them get away with not doing much. The truth is most of them don't care about what I'm teaching. Of the 150 students I taught this year, I could count on my fingers the kids with a sincere interest in art. I'm hoping some will appreciate it when they get older but to be realistic, I know they don't need to know about impressionism and cubism to succeed in their future. I think as a teacher I need to work on being more understanding, but taking on all their issues and the social system is a lot of work. This year at my school there were seven fights in one day. I had a kid put his fist through a glass window because someone teased him – it was the last straw on the anniversary of his mother’s death. It is a really tough world and it is hard to know how to help. The comments about Columbine were really sad. I can remember at my school we had a bomb threat a few days after it and everyone started talking about this one girl because she wore a trench coat to school. I have to say though, however much you may be picked on, it is really disturbing to hear anyone taking about reaping benefits from such a tragedy. High school is rough for everyone. I started letting one girl stay in my room at lunch this year because she said she didn't have anyone to sit with. By the end of the year I had about five kids in there that I couldn't get rid of them. Sometimes I don't know what advice to even give them, except that they will get through it.
Chris
· 1 year ago
I come from South Africa and unless it's attending a higher education institute like university or college you would be incredibly hard pressed to find a school that doesn't make use of a uniform and dress code. Do you think that if American public schools were to implement something like this there would be less stereo-typing? The biggest or at least one of the biggest contributing factors to stereo-typing is appearance and if everyone dresses the same the probability of stereo-typing lessons or at least on an aesthetic level. Obviously it wouldn't cure the problem but don't you think it would improve it? I went to a private school where originally the uniform and dress code were very open, that changed a lot over the years and I resented it at the time but looking back a couple years I understand the reasoning behind it.
Bawls
· 1 year ago
Everything written was so true, I just graduated this year and feel already that all twelve years of school were rather pointless. I dealt with this by being an active slacker. I took honors and AP courses so that my B grades would still acquire a 4.0 on the grade point average scale. What did I learn this whole time? Very little. Probably the only valuable things high school teaches those willing to listen are math (problem solving skills to be more broad) and the ability to learn. Some people overlook the fact that learning can be an augmented ability; if you are willing to put forth even a little effort you will find that learning, or in most cases memorizing (as high school is more fact memorization than applied thought) becomes very easy with practice.
Flo
· 1 year ago
Hi,
I think you're absolutely right, even though I don't live in America's conditions in the ins and outs of coolness, but I know what it feels like to be a nerd. You feel like crying, but then again, I had an outer shell so no one really cared about me. Because, you see, I moved schools. My first school, I was really popular everyone was really nice to me. The next school, we had four classes, 2 were the normal ones, the other two were the really smart people, they came from different schools across New South Wales. Only 160 people got in. I was assuming everyone would be nice to me and I would be nice to them, but I seemed wrong, some people there liked swearing, it seemed that swearing was 'cool'. I didn't like it so I kept away from that group. And that's the end of the story. But I have some advice to people who are picked on with friends. Like, you're just crossing the grounds of your school and these random people come and start teasing you and your friends. It's unfair because your outnumbered. 8 to 3. Join your group together with another group and then it's a lot harder for people to pick on you if you have back up. But how do you join? I know this going to sound like lying but it works. Agree with all the people. You can sometimes disagree if it's something small but agree big-time. Then once you've known all about the other person, bring everyone who likes the same thing (such as if some people like cats) to the movies or something about the cat. Now that you have some other friends, rejoin your original group, and the people who like cats will follow you and the people who like the people that like cats will have to join you to. Actually, don't follow this piece of advice, it only sometimes works.
juca2
· 1 year ago
This essay is closely related to the book http://www.amazon.com/Amusing-Ourselves-Death-D... after reading both I think nerds in scholl can be defined as a kind of unconscious rebels against the meaningless show business culture that pervades our culture. cheers from brazil.
cuzur
· 1 year ago
Happy Birthday mate !!!!! wicked party we loved the starwars posters and world of warcraft stuff in your house !! it was a rave!!
TM
· 1 year ago
This is my new philosophy on life
zxzxzxzc
· 1 year ago
my sister shot herself because of this good points man it has inlightened me
Skibz777
· 1 year ago
Dude, I didn't actually read the whole thing...but I skimmed through the first few paragraphs and they seemed to be really well written. I'm not even sure what it is I'm reading but I'm a big fan of it! I'm really interested in it. It seems that you like to use words.
Maybe - if I remember - I can come back and read the whole thing. I probably won't, I'll probably forget it forver, but I'll never forgret the time it was neat to remember...that one time right now.
Thank you! Always don't write!
Skibz777
· 1 year ago
No, ALWAYS WRITE! ALWAYS WRITE!
Unless you're old or dead, in which case I missed you by only a decade.
David Evans
· 1 year ago
Very interesting article, though I think a bit one-sided. My rant: The root of the problem is not schools. The problem is that it's ALL a game. In schools, popularity is the purpose of existence. In adult life, the game switches to procreation, the game of games. It's all dictated by our genes and we are but puppets in the great play. Capitalism is a manifestation of this basic survival instinct, the economic evolution accompanying it, and from it came schools, but none of it is inherently evil or pointless. Perhaps in the future we will have a true free-market society, without public schools, where only the strongest educate themselves, find jobs, survive, and find mates. Schools may not be the most efficient machine ever devised, but God knows the kids need some form of face-to-face socialization in today's society overrun by cell phones and instant messaging. If you ask me, the increasing isolation of people is the worst thing of all so maybe schools aren't so bad after all even if they do feel like prisons where kids spend 12 years jumping through hoops. Furthermore, you get out of something what you put into it, so I doubt the nerds are actually being hurt by the system. If anything, negative experiences there will only temper them for the real world where life is even less fair. But ironically, they aren't the ones who should fear it. For the popular kids, it will be a stark awakening.
highschoolgrad2008
· 1 year ago
This essay was quite interesting, but it seems a bit narrow minded to classify teenagers so rigidly. Maybe my high school experience as an over-achiever was different than others. Maybe I had the self-confidence to disregard what other thought. However, I do strongly agree about your analysis about "nerds" failure to be "popular" because it is simply not the first priority. I also agree with "nerds" being able to see what's important on the next stage after high school. Intelligence trumps popularity any day and as long as one finds a good group of friends the amount of friends one has or how popular one is, hardly matters.
Unknown
· 1 year ago
"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." Albert Einstein
Chris
· 1 year ago
So true! This 'Albert Einstein' sounds like a clever guy! :P
Obsedian
· 1 year ago
This essay has laid down in entirety the little bits and pieces that I have gleaned through my last four years of school. I myself am still within the system with two more years left to go. This has really opened my eyes and will make school a little more livable. Thanks. I'll be forwarding this to a lot of people.
thegrayghostXIII
· 1 year ago
...As a "smart" or "socially friendly" nerd, I learned from an early age that some of my hobbies and interests are not what the general public would deem...popular (i.e...reading/researching, intelligent conversation/debate, video games, chess...insert popular nerd/smart hobbies to infinity here cause I've done it all). So I would keep to myself until I COULD find people that shared those same interests (which resulted in a small but very close network of friends). It's just like any other social group and it's because, as I would best put it from my experience, a lot of intelligent people perhaps grow jaded of how many people never "connect" or "click" with them...so we essentially just give up on becoming popular. There is no point to exercise in something you do not have and although more the efforts for you if you succeed in doing so...somehow...you focus on what you do have, even if popularity seems to be the "popular" tradeoff.
Sigh
· 1 year ago
I didn't read the entire essay, but from what i did read my view of a stereotypical american school seems sadly true. I live in South Africa and in our schools there is a vague semblance of the categories that each child fits into, but it isn't as rigidly defined. I was considered a 'nerd' in school although I didn't fit into a typical definition for a nerd. I also just so happened to be friends with the 'jock' headboy who was better at maths and science. I also fitted into the 'artist' category without smoking or dressing weirdly. Our headgirl was my best friend and she wasn't your average prom queen. let alone stupid. I'm probably wrong in assuming this, but it seems that americans try to stereotype themselves and sit at the tables they are told to fit into... Please tell me that I'm wrong and that you don't all stick to a category, why can't anyone just be who they are?
BobbieDawn
· 1 year ago
I was a nerd at my school and popular at another school - that's where all of my friends were and I attended all of they're parties. The key is that nobody knew that I was smart at the other school because nobody ever saw me in class to see all of my A+ grades!
Jorge Andres Galarza Rueda
· 1 year ago
Hi there, I read your article and I think that for the most part your thesis is correct. Thanks for writting it, quite enjoyable!
Jammer
· 1 year ago
doing well in school doesn't mean you're "smart", it just means you did well at telling the system what it told you to tell it. Most "popular" kids can see this and that's why it's not "cool".
Ash
· 1 year ago
"Too cool for school"?
Jammer
· 1 year ago
I wasn't a nerd (but I always stood up for them) and I didn't care about being cool or popular, it has never been of any interest to me. I was not intersted in school work but I scored an IQ of 155 when I was 16, that just means I was good at IQ tests. If you enjoy doing well at school, keep it up. Don't worry about being popular, it's mostly a confidence thing rather than how well you're doing at school. The less you care about what people think of you, the more popular you will become.
Steve
· 1 year ago
I'm 14, just out of eighth, and I read it. I'm not sure if I didn't write this... This is my life exactly, my thoughts exactly, and comparisons that I can relate to. Heard of straight A's since kindergarten? That's me! IQ of 145? That's me! This was a great article.
THEUNKNOWN
· 1 year ago
Hey.....well, I didn't read your WHOLE article. But at my school, (by the way, I'm a 14 year-old going into 10th grade) there's really nothing like this. My school is pretty good with this stuff. EVERYONE GETS ALONG WITH EVERYONE.....that is.....unless you're a total fakey.....because everyone hates those. But yea, I'm friends with everyone and I have gotten A's all throughout elementary, middle, and high school so far. Yea, I'm an "all A student". But still, I skate, sing, and play drums. I mean, just because you're smart doesn't mean you're not well-rounded or can't play sports or something. I workout everyday!!!! Lol! But this artticle is inspiring.....I like it!!!!!!!!!!!!
asdfasfas
· 1 year ago
Either I'm lucky or times have changed. I have never experienced anything of the sort although it is entirely possible that I am the outlier. Although I agree with many of the points, there is entirely too much generalization and over simplification in this essay. Keep in mind that the author attended high school approximately 30 years ago as well.
anonymous
· 1 year ago
Thank you very much for writting this article. I too, am a nerd, very smart in many aspects especially computers, and although im 'higher-up' than most nerds as I have not alot but enough confidence to get through the day, this essay really helped me understand that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that school is nothing more than a holding place for the "important" people to do their work.
Jammer
· 1 year ago
The education system wants everyone to be clever (their definition of clever), I think nerds are unpopular because they are doing what they are told. The education system isn't about learning as much as it is about conditioning. I know people that have had a very poor education but they are incredibley "switched on" and I know people that produced an excellent standard of work in school but have no common sense or wisdom. Schools tell you stuff and you repeat it back to them, don't be fooled, this is not intelligence.
That Guy
· 1 year ago
That's an interesting idea you have. As a nerd, I can understand the fact that the public school system's incompetece can lead to the social unpopularity of us nerds, but it is not totally to blame. Pop culture is also negative to nerds. Here is a conversation spoof in the Simpsons
Homer: "So then we played Dungeons and Dragons for 5 hours... then my character was slain by an elf." Bart: "Listen to yourself man, you're hanging with nerds." Homer: "What? You take that back! Nerds are my worst enemy!" Marge: "Homer those kids are nice people but they're obviously nerds."
In that same episode, Homer decides to give the nerds at his college a hard time so he makes fun of them in front of a jock (who is actually a nerd). And that's just one show.
So yeah, much as I hate the public school system and the fact that a lot of your theories are sound, with pop culture making fun of nerds and even making shows that are made to make fun of people for being smart (Family Matters anyone?), then it's no wonder nerds are unpopular.
It's about time that people starting realising (or admitting) that school is effectively worthless as real-life preparation. I would hazard that I've now forgotten around 50% of the education I had, and I'm only a year removed from year 13 (17-18 years old). It's undoubtedly because it will not help me in the slightest when I'm older to be able to, for example, bisect an acute angle using a compass, unless I go into mathematics - and even then I can't think of a useful application of it.
Jammer has it spot on - temporarily being able to recall facts about historical wars and recent literature and the photosynthesis process is not intelligence. Intelligence is about grasping concepts and forming ideas and opinions, not using memory. In the real world, it is usually better to be skilled at a job rather than intelligent - just look at footballers or movie stars - but intelligence can help you adapt, it just can't really be taught.
One thing I think this essay missed that seemed a bit obvious to me is why the real, grown up world is more hospitable to nerds. Surely it is because, in the real world, nerds can be appreciated because of the skills they bring. In schools, other kids couldn't care less about a nerd being able to program software, but to a software company, it's vital. A nerd suddenly becomes a valuable commodity when you have a technological need or problem, but high school kids don't need to think that way. A typical high school kid is more in reverance of a guy who can hit a ball well than a guy who can do advanced calculus.
Shame, really, that school can't at least teach kids perspective.
bob.
adrian
· 1 year ago
you got one thing wrong. There's a bottom line where choice does not come into it. You don't choose to be smart you are or not. And kidults don't have any perspective other than their location in a growth curve between baby and old, unless they are extremely smart. a.
bobmcgoo
· 1 year ago
Where did I say you can choose whether to be smart or not?
Also, what on earth is a kidult?
Graham
· 1 year ago
This is a great essay. As an unrepentant nerd / geek (is there a difference)? I identify with what you say and I'm convinced you speak for a heck of a lot of people.
Thanks.
N.E.R.D.
· 1 year ago
(and look at the all the nerds here...and you called us unpopular )
Colin_J_Fehr
· 1 year ago
Great work. I envy your voice. As a "nerd" myself, i see everything you've stated, although, somehow, ive beaten the system. I continue to excel in school, yet, people like me despite the face i dont consider myself praticularly good looking, proficient at sports, or the sibling of a "cool" kid. I was especcially impressed at the point where you mentioned choosing between popularity and intelligence. Ive never been in that situation, but i had been in a similar one. I was being forced to choose between telling my crush something id sworn not to tell anyone, and not saying, dissapointing her, and risking her getting mad at me. It killed me, but i chose to keep my honor. When i say words to my friends such as "honour" "integrity" and "character" i receive blank looks, as if im using the wrong words, which i am. no kid my age is supposed to care so much abnout what is right, but instead what puts me up on the social ladder.
Thanks you for your words, i wont forget them.
frogman3
· 1 year ago
Having moved from a smaller town to a city at the ripe age of 13, I think this holds true in cities much more than smaller communities. In the small town I was in nerds (me) pretty much fit in with everyone, were seen as a piece of the whole. In the city, being able to be annonomise (sp?) it was much harder to see the whole, so creating the situation you've stated was 'the way things happened to be.' Not that there wasn't a known heierarchy in the small town, it just wasn't acted on in a cruel fashion. Everyone realized that the court need a jester and a town idiot. Great essey.
RabbiInfinity
· 1 year ago
This is one of the best essays I have read about teens. Not just nerds--teens and teen society in general. The author has a clear insight and knows how to articulate what he sees. The central thesis, that a society of people that have no impact on anything important will be a sick society, is a universal truth that can assist us in healing many illnesses of the modern day.
pfb9632
· 1 year ago
Thank you! This essay is spirit lifting and very enlighting. Currently being a nerd, I relate to much of what you have said and now will be able to ponder on these aspects of teenage life.
Chris
· 1 year ago
"Tactful is the opposite of clumsy. I don't think I learned this until college." I come from a third world country and understood that word more than you seem to even understand it now when I was eleven. Tact isn't the opposite of clumsiness it's the opposite of blatancy. Proficiency is the opposite of clumsiness.
This essay makes no sense on so many levels it's scary. You're writing about what other disgruntled nerds want to hear. Stating blatantly (the opposite of tactfully) that nerds are superior without exception to all other high school stereotypes because they didn't like the way people treated them in school is silly.
You're just an angry child yourself because now that you have the ears of those within your community you cast bad light on those you don't like based on the fact that people like - but not neccessarily them - didn't like you when you were young.
Pablo
· 1 year ago
Cheers, nice to know someones thinking out there...
Marcin
· 1 year ago
Great read. The "suburbia nursery" idea is really brilliant. I never realized.
Kim
· 1 year ago
I am 13, in Florida, where *everyone* in my middle school are already naturally beautiful. :)
Still, I am considered a genius, along with a lot of other kids who are extremely smart. This essay seems like it's purpose is to encourage stereo-types, which is totally against why it was even made, as you stated.
"Popular" kids are the ones who are a lot of fun, no matter how they look, if their athletic, if their smart, etc. If you are boring, or anti-social... well, you claim nerds are smart. That they can beat the "system", but choose not to. If you act like you absolutely despise everyone and everything around you, or if you dont even want to have friends or be outgoing, yes, I think it's obvious you'll become an easy target to your peers. They will say anything about you, for reasons even you stated.
My point is, if you claim all of that is true, then why the hell are you saying it over again? We know this, we know what we're doing to our "world". (Even though we really dont).
And on how school is worthless? Screw you, if you really were on of the smart kids who are fueled by nothing else other than increasing human understanding, you would know that school is what taught you to read, write, and handle social situations which you obviously still haven't learned how to. While sure, you'll forget half of it, it increases your academic/athletic/social skills in general, which is very helpful later on in life.
If you want to create things, then you know that you'll be in school all your life, learning how to create w/e you want to create. In case you haven't noticed, every generation has taken the ideas of it's former, and made them better. Advancing human technology, evolution, w/e you want to call it, those adults need us, and they EXPECT us to create a world that only the good can envision.
Summed up, you have no idea how to live, man. :)
But on the bright side, you HAVE inspired me. >:)
JJBird
· 1 year ago
I was so impressed by how you thought much of this out It really is original and creative thought. I am a home-schooling Mom and you have hit on some of the reasons for home-schooling. BTW home-schooling is a way to get out of this sad cycle and rescue our kids. I don't think all of school is insipid. I remember an English class in which my gf and I were so fired up we stayed after the bell to finish reading the Shakespearian play. I learned there that I am a good actor and enjoyed that later in life in various ways. I loved bio and art and truly learning to speak another language was exciting and something I still enjoy and employ today. Fortunately for me, I went to an academically demanding school where I did learn a lot. I believe this essay will be helpful to my son - who is surprise, surprise - away at computer camp. Geek heaven. But he has lots of other interests, too - and a ton of friends! Especially now that he has left public school. BTW, Miss genius, Kim, you may wish to note the differing spellings of "their" and "they're" and their correct usages. If you feel free to speak so disparagingly of another it may be wise to be quite unassailable in your own perfection first. At any rate, thank you for your unique and well thought out words. They moved me towards compassion and clarity. And I learned a few cool new vocabulary words as well.
Kim
· 1 year ago
People like you are what made the world how it is today. :(
Aw, Im so sorry I mispelled a few words which even a brain like yours can point out.
But Im guessing, since that's all you could point out... that you failed to realize what points my view made.
As will plenty of others, unfortunately, who tend to believe what comes more readily to mind.
JJBird
· 1 year ago
Hi Kim, I am sorry I was so flip when responding to you. I felt disturbed by some of your comments as they seemed to illustrate just what he was talking aobut. Some kids don't choose to be anti-social or to be "not out-going". they don't know how to do it well! They enjoy thinking about difficult topics or reading literature or doing math more than chatting about the latest movie, etc, etc. It would be a great joy if kids could accept all the differing types of people who are out there. Everyone has worth and if you look deep enough you may be surprised how interesting they are as well as how much to offer they have. As you get older, making the world a better place becomes a real and urgent priority. Being kind even when it is easier and more convenient not to be can be an ideal worth striving for. YOu suggest that school increases your ability to socialize, use academic skills and become more athletic. Having been out of school for many years I can tell you that my academic, social AND athletic skills increased greatly after school was over and I got to discover what I really enjoyed and was good at. Again, I am sorry if I trivialized what you had to say. Its just that speaking aobut a "world the good can envision" in one sentence and then flippantly telling someone "they don't know how to live" seems a bit confusing. Maybe his and your definitions of living well are very different. For that better world to come aobut we all need to envision that that is OK. (The being different that is)
Heather
· 1 year ago
From one former nerd to another, thank you for a thoughtful, articulate essay on the phenomenon of popularity and the role of schools as wholesale prisons.
harish
· 1 year ago
wonderfull i did like one or all of these essays to mail me soo that i can read them often
Chris Pyne
· 1 year ago
Very good article. It's clearly a lot of work to write this, so thank you. Very nice follow-through on some ideas that are usually expressed vaguely.
The bureaucratic options could be explored, but they are remarkably bleak. The system is maximally efficient for a modern industrialized society. We could provide two tracks, so that the brightest ones aren't wasting their time. This is basically what is happening already, and it is a very very good idea. We get the short term payoff of the prison-system, and the long term payoff of still educating the best and brightest.
But at rock bottom, this is just an improved compromise. I have continued to treat it as an economic problem. It is a moral problem too.
This is my take on it. Modern history has seen humans insulate themselves from nature, create their own tools, and set their own terms, and things are good. Things are so good that there are few real points of contact with nature left for most of us. But breeding remains as that one deep point of contact. Raising children is kind of a dirty business where ethical compromises are made for the greater good. Before civilization, where nature ruled, everything was a rather dirty business.
We could instead be amazed at our ingenuity that we have found a viable way to have a specialized industrialized society and still raise sufficient children (not an easy accomplishment, look at Europe).
SerpentStare
· 1 year ago
I think I may forward this to my parents and teachers. They're basically good and fairly open-minded people - they'll pay attention. I was lucky - my high school has lots of good teachers. You've made a few statements I don't agree with - Mostly the one about girls' attraction showing whether nerdiness/intelligence was enviable or not. Girls - trust me here, I am one, and I grew up among them - have their own hierarchy, and are just as cruel. And even if they weren't, deliberately, they still, as you say, ostracize for self-defense. Or to gain ranks with the other cool girls, many of whom do not care, whether due to lack of intelligence themselves, or just being overwhelmed in the popularity contest, how intelligent a boy is - only how "hot" or "cool" he looks.
One thing I do, tremendously agree on, and something I realized in the last year of my high school education - that is, last year - is that, yes. We are bored because our work has no effect, and no value. I haven't got a job yet - I'm still recovering. In my case, this means actually trying to gather enough energy, strength and above all confidence to discard the defensive mechanisms I developed through childhood and school. It isn't all from my time at school, but I know that a significant part of it is.
Good luck trying to convince people to change things, though. Oh, this leads to another thing I wanted to point out. The American false-world of school systems? It's fed into the American false-world of adult life as well. Anyone who's paying attention will have noticed that American and Americanized (the influence goes far, far beyond borders, believe me - I'm actually Canadian. It works the same way there. I recently moved to Australia. It works the same way here) politics fast becomes a popularity contest. Why? Because adults are not immune. And, the kids who devoted their lives to being the top of the popularity contest at school continue to use the "skills" they learned outside of it - and become the top of the pack, or one of various packs, from the local to the national or international level, outside, not by making intelligent choices or even necessarily being competent - but by making themselves popular with the group.
I'll quit ranting now. I'd love a response, though. If anyone wants to contact me and chat more about this, my email is serpentstare@gmail.com.
Dean Kay
· 1 year ago
This is the best description and analysis of junior high and high school life that I've ever read. I was unpopular in high school and later became a succesful attorney in the real world. I wish I had this essay to read back then.
Sam
· 1 year ago
I'm a homeschooled teen, so I'm not familiar with highschool politics. If I were in a public school, though, I'd be a nerd. It's very interesting to hear an informed perspective on what it would be like. I really love the freedom that homeschooling gives to be able to "work for yourself" without the pressures of a useless society. It doesn't squelch social skills. Quite the opposite. Homeschooling allows students more time to interact with real people in the real world. Anyway, thank you for the very interesting read!
Carly
· 1 year ago
The only friend I had in school went to different school, because she had no way to get to school. So I'm going back into 7th grade with no friends at all. I was really scared, but now that I've read this article, I'm a lot less nervous about going back to school. I'd take brains for fame any day. This article really was a lot of help!! :) :P :b :D
Derrin Lawton
· 1 year ago
This article explains me. I'm sort of popular but only because I work at it day and night, because if I didn't I would be a nerd since I get really good grades. It is really hard to maintain a popular status and you have to work at it constantly. I really can't wait until high school is over because it does feel like a holding pen. It's just some day care we are droped off at every day by the school bus so that we can learn a little information we need for college, a lot we won't, and so that we can be out our parent's hair during the day and supposedly out of trouble. I'm so glad I have three years left in high school, because everyday is a challenge to get good grades and stay popular in this fake heirarchial society.
Smartperson
· 1 year ago
What a bunch of crap.
Lundis
· 1 year ago
You need to think twice before you decide for an alias. You obviously aren't smart if you call this essay "a bunch of crap".
Smartperson
· 1 year ago
Which it is. What kind of loser spends his time writing an extraordinarily long and useless essay on how nerds are social outcasts, yet will eventually be more successful than others? Nerds who do not already know this will not spend their time googling "Nerd" and reading an essay that seems to repeat itself every third paragraph when they can spend their time working on a useful problem or situation. You're also likely to notice that truly intelligent people, as well as true nerds, don't write essays referring to their intelligence. On the contrary, they use their intelligence (and time) to accomplish some useful task. In fact, the author of this article, by writing such a long essay, not only wasted his own time but the times of other people claiming to be "nerds" and "intelligent", who read this essay instead of doing something productive. The author would have done much better by spending some time with his kid instead of sitting in front of some god-awful computer, typing a long essay on his own childhood social issues so that other people could agree over the internet and artificially improve his self-esteem.
Lundis
· 1 year ago
What you're saying is that smart people who likes to reflect on their thoughts aren't smart. I can't agree to that, I have friends who are "smarter" than me but have no ability to reflect on their thoughts/actions. You can be smart in different ways, not just being able to calculate maths and similar things. People who are only smart in one way will certainly not write an essay like this, because they can't even if they try. I don't live in America, but I've heard about what schools are like and I would certainly have been a nerd. Actually I would have been in loads of trouble! Thus, I would have enjoyed reading this instead of doing some stupid exercise (which is stupid because the non-smart people have to understand it). However, if you define the word nerd as people who are only intelligent in logical matters, you are right. They won't be able to understand the essay, though they might understand it later when they look back. They could just read it as adults instead and have a bigger chance of understanding it immediately.
Vivien
· 1 year ago
My god, I never realized an article on nerds and their social awkwardness might actually be so humorous. I do suppose that shows how socially retarded I am though. Your definition of nerd seems a little cliche though. I go to the only selective school in my state, where only the smartest people can get accepted via an entrance exam and interview. And, although we love walking round with sudokus and rubik's cubes, I haven't really seen 'nerds' with your description.
Roman
· 1 year ago
I go to a private school, the most expensive in my state, and there are three types of people: smart and athletic people, which are usually quite popular, athletic people, which are sometimes popular, and those who are neither, who stay in the library reading books. They're the ones who are called nerds, because everyone wants to be smart.
RavenWolfe
· 1 year ago
I really enjoyed your essay. I fell between a nerd and a freak. Though I did not do drugs I did where all black. One thing you forgot to address was appearance. I was overweight, at least according to the popular kids. I was also not their idea of beautiful. This were two things that kept me out of their ranks. Another was loose morals. I was not willing to "give it away" and the popular boys didn't care for that idea.
none
· 1 year ago
nice essay im a nerd. it makes sense why the popular kids dont like us. yep i fell into nerd
Luke
· 1 year ago
This essay was a roller coaster of memories. It was incredibly eye opening and seemed to point out facts that I truly believe in. I just wanted to compliment you on a job well done and I wanted to offer a little advice for you. This essay lacks only one thing, a call for action. With nerds all over the world reading this you now have nerds all over the world that support you. All you have to do is come up with a plan for what we can do to change this stupid "society" that our elders have come up with for our children, I guarantee you there would be a massive amount of people that would join your cause. I would.
delirious
· 1 year ago
Thank you Mr.Graham for yet another insightful essay. I would have liked a more nuanced perspective on "how the real world works"; although I whole-heartily agree that popularity contests are a waste of time, I feel "non-nerds" do learn valuable life skills during their school time, namely the ability to relate to others, influence others and function in group and hierarchy. Although the latter two often have negative connotations they are essential to leading a successful and happy life and on this scale nerds are definitely not preparing for the real world. It all ties into the EQ versus IQ debate.
Mike Winters
· 1 year ago
This is a very well-written article. I definitely went through some of this. I was sort of a nerd in high school and painfully thin. I got pushed around a lot and because I was a late bloomer, I sort of had a dorky look back then. Around the age of 18, I began to bloom and while still intelligent was less of a bookworm and started going out. My shoulders broaden and my looks changed to where I was much more attractive. In college, I made a ton of friends and was fairly popular.
I tell everyone this because just because you are picked on in elementary school or high school doesn't mean that is what you have to be today. You have more power than you realize. A high school teacher once told me something profound. He told our class "for those of you who bully the "nerds" in class, have your fun for a few years because eventually when you have put on fifty pounds and are no longer cool. They will have the hot wives and you will be working for them, wishing you were them."
Komal
· 1 year ago
The author's explanation is inadequate, as it does not get to the bottom of why unpopularity is positively correlated with intelligence in some societies and negatively in others. If popularity requires work, then it requires work everywhere, and nerdiness would prevent all people from being popular. There are other, better explanations.
Scott
· 1 year ago
Interesting comment, Komal. I think perhaps that other societies structure school a little bit differently than we do here in the United States. Germany, for instance, puts more emphasis on trades & advanced academics at an earlier age. The period that we would recognize as secondary school is much briefer.
King of the Slaves!
· 1 year ago
I loved your article. I use to be fucked with all the time in school thats until I hit vocational school. I ran into a chid that practiced witch craft and martial arts. He recruited me and other nerds to be in a coven together. After that we were trained through sparing how to fight by are selves and as a group. After that we were like 5 people deep and if some one fucked with any of us we all went after them it pretty much stoped after that. Now I have a son and if he runs in to the same problem in high school I will teach him how to set up his own leagion of friends to kick the crap out of any one who messes with him or his friends.
Phil
· 1 year ago
This article is amazing. I am a current senior (and nerd) in high school and practically everything in this article is dead on. It makes so much sense. I've got to say that I think that there is less bullying where someone insults or humiliates you to your face and you know who it was. It seems to have been replaced more by cyber-bullying, using sites like facebook, myspace, and youtube to anonymously torture others. I fucking HATE high school, I can't wait to graduate.
david
· 1 year ago
things wont get better for you just because you finish high school. running away from your problems is not the answer. if someone's bothering you, sucker punch em in the face. you might get beat up but its all worth it. people are too worried about self preservation. getting in a fight wont kill you, stop being such a pussy. (all said with love)
WB
· 1 year ago
The problems will not end just by graduating from high school.. Trust me on that!
I use Facebook, and I have to say it's incredibly depressing at times. Just because I don't have things like "getting drunk at bars", "reality TV", "cars" or sports listed down as interests, it makes it very difficult to make friends. There's always a kind of cut-off point reached during any period of interaction with another person.
Being without friends I can do with. Having to give up the girls as well, that I can't deal with.
Dewy
· 1 year ago
This was a great article, I am currently going into junior year in high school and It totally makes sense.
You really put into words whats been on the tip of my tongue about the world around me for a long time.
heaven
· 1 year ago
But unpopularity doesn't stop at the end of high school. I'm 40 years old, and it's still the same. The real world is even crueler.
heaven
· 1 year ago
It's not kids that are cruel to other kids, it's people that are cruel to other people, especially if they stand in their way for a job, a promotion or a relationship, or even a frienship. It's like wolves, the alphas get the prey and the mate, they may let their vassals have a share, but the "nerds" get rejected, because they represent another set of values. They are isolated, so they can't defend themselves, nobody taking their side. Beware, young nerds, it won't get better ! You better unite, nerds of all countries, or the popular will ban you from the playground, that is, the real world.
WB
· 1 year ago
I agree with the comments made by heaven. The cruelty nerds face from others continues well into adult life. I've learnt that the hard way. I'm a 23 year old. When I reached 20, I thought I was about to be lifted away from the negative experiences surrounding my school and college days. Did it happen? No it didn't. Most of the time I can cope with life, but there are booms and slumps in my wellbeing, as I'm sure other nerds face. The slumps usually trigger when I either voluntarily or am forced by some set of circumstances to interact with the "outside world". The rest of the time is spent within a "comfort zone", with all interaction with the "outside world" being constrained.
u suk
· 1 year ago
ur a fuking a nerd urself u girl as hole
i suk
· 1 year ago
and u r not worth consideration. you are common.
dallas-dakota
· 1 year ago
Hi, I do not live in the USA, nor do I go to school there. Yes, I am still in high school(the question must have been in your mind, because of my previous sentence). But I fully agree with this thesis. I am dutch, and high schools are a bit different here. While I am neither a 'nerd' nor a 'freak', I think myself as a mix of both or something. I am a outcast by choice, well I did, but somehow I picked up a group of friends who were all upperclassmen, while I am not. We here do not really have 'these groups'. For one, sports, are not that big of a specialization here. Nor is bodybuilding. You have your own kinds of groups, these are not exclusively nerds, freaks or such. Even though its more likely that they'l group toghetter(common interests)..
Sadly due to lack of time I have to cut this response short. I'l continue this response another time.
Aubrey
· 1 year ago
Your essay was amazing! BEYOND AMAZING!!! I always tell my mum that I can't always be happy, but she never believes me. I believe your essay Completely! I am very nerdy in what I do, but I understand that there are better things out there and my smarts are MUCH more important to me than becoming a bubble-headed frilly popular girl! I enjoy being smart and love to do what I LIKE TO DO... and I dont care what other people think... if it makes me happy... I roll with it. I wear the clothes that I like, and dont care what people think. your essay was so inspiring to me... I hope you make it into a book someday. I really believe everything you said in the essay too. You must be an amazing person.
Schara
· 1 year ago
Well written.
(Points to self) Nerd.
I agreed with a lot of what you said.
Bill
· 1 year ago
WoW... I really wish someone would have handed me this article about 5 years ago during my first year in highschool.. Simply Brilliant..
bill
· 1 year ago
hello bob:) whats up well my war with my brain was bad to
ari
· 1 year ago
oh wow-this aricle was an amazing thing to read -i just recently entered high-school, and this seems to be correct about a fair amount of public schools. I am in yuor "D" group and my friends and I are good aqaintences with the "freaks", only they are more punk/skaterduggies. -Also- i dont like the way people ask yuo what yuo would consider yourself(i.e. punk, prep, emo, goth, skater,nerd, retard, jocks, etc.) And I never know what to reply : because my friends and I don't categorize ouselves. This article is amazingly accurate- and all those people who say they are still being bullyed at age 40-- it is not because of their "nerdiness"- its because you dont have enough self-confidence to push your way through life- Adults who hold higher-ranking jobs are almost alwyas bullies, only because they were that same way in high school, so you can atleast give yourself credit for growing up, and not continuing the ways of being a horribly, mean selfish, afraid child.- I actually really enjoyed reading this article, because my sisters' boyfriend referred me to it--(he is another classic example of public social status-when he was in middle-school he was a nerdy-geek who was extremely uncool, however when he moved to different public high shool, because he was new and mysterious his past was not recognized, and he was immedietly accpepted. he tells me stories of how the "popular kids" aren't really friends, its just thier duty to talk to one another stleast once a day, and to acknowledge one another in the hallways, even if they hated one another. You had no extra time to be intelligent, your whole daily routine consisted of fimding the right clothes, listening to the "in" music, gossiping, always being in groups, talking on the phone, and sweettalking teachers, without letting the teachers know it.this in return left no space for studying for thier advanced regents diploma, but it did let them in on the newest gossip.) Also, I've noticed that "popular students" often are favored among teachers, and if the other students didn't hate your guts, they felt specially honored even talking to the popular kids. Another thing that is true is that, when a certain guy you've been crushing on for a month finally talked to you, the next day whenyou tried to talk to him in front of his friends or other popular girls, he would act like a total ass, and make a big joke out of you, or act grossed out by you, then again when the two of you were alone he acted very friendly or even flirted with you, yuo would call him out, but he would deny it.popular kid bullies are perfectly harmless, kind human beings, when they're not with theri friends, but the second they see thier freinds, they try to "act cool" by totally ignoring yu, or brutally teasing you, that is when theygrow claws and their feelings of guilt and ever being a person again completely vaporize. well okay i've said far enough,but I felt it should be added onto this good article, thank you ;)
class of '89
· 1 year ago
You should read John Taylor Gatto's book called Dumbing Us Down. He talks about why schools exist and what they teach - hauntingly familiar. Of course, as a child of the 80's you too would recognize the movie The Breakfast Club in much of what you say in this article. As of yet I don't have teens as children (little young yet - the kids not me). However, last year we had a wonderful girl from Brazil as an exchange student and by November she was an American teen fighting for popularity as much as the ones that grew up here. It's been interesting - she went from an intelligent girl who took school seriously and interacted well with and respected adults. By the time she left she was popular. She was still pretty good about being respectful to adults but she was also very concerned with herself and her interests and less interested in the world around her. However, it didn't take long after she got home to revert back to less of an "American" teen and more interested in the world around her than just herself.
Your pictures look much like my own high school year book. Strange world we lived in (and strange world our children live in!). I've absconded with my own children. I'm homeschooling them in the hopes that they'll grow up to understand more about the world than whether they're a "nerd," "jock," "stoner," or "preppy." Oh, yeah I'm out of date on my terminology - I don't even know what these groups are the kids are talking about in previous comments
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im here for your enlightenmen;
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because you're an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because you're an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because you're an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because you're an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because you're an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
A.
· 1 year ago
Dear Mr. Cunt
I think that you should find out something about the author of this article.
By most criteria, he would not be considered a "narrow minded failure". Try to "just fucking google" "Paul Graham".
Kind Regards
Ft24
· 1 year ago
lol, "Dear Mr. Cunt"
Dude your a complete idiot, shut up and move on. if you didnt like it, dont bother it. and swearing a lot only shows that you have a very limited vocabulary
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because you're an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
really a shitty cunt
· 1 year ago
You can't form grammatically correct sentences, which makes your bashing of literacy rates hilarious.
Jen
· 1 year ago
You must be "popular". Great essays don't always have to be perfectly gramatically correct. Sometimes the greatest oppinions to read are ones that communicate in a less formal fashion.
Lain
· 1 year ago
Being a person of intelligence somewhere in the range of 130-160 (or more), I think I could shed some light on the issue:
Nerds are unpopular because there is a considerable about of alienation caused by being smart... some hostility, some misunderstanding When I understand something.. it is almost patronizing to actually HAVE to describe why it makes sense to another person, being smart is.. albeit lacking in logic... insulting
Often times, for me anyway, I feel like I'm not intelligent, everyone else is dumb, and it is very frustrating to understand something, to be able to pull stuff out of my head at the speed of light, and to see others confused at some of the simplest task and problem. Some people end up forming frustrations and... not understanding the extent of which one doesn't understand, can actually patronize, and insult another for acting as if they are "that slow". Standing in a room full of r-tards is very frustrating, and a true test of patience for both groups, the nerds and the norms, it may not be "jealousy", or "envy", quite frankly its hostility and it is anger from the illogical emotional misunderstanding.
Daniel Lima
· 1 year ago
This was very enlightening... some of the exact observations I've made in school. I consider myself seperate from the social ladder; I simply go from class to class and exist. During lunch I go to the debate classroom, and sit off by myself as the other kids talk. I myself am very sociable; I'm the class clown in debate class, I think. But during almost all my other classes i simply sit quietly, and when not i talk to the same couple of people... as individuals. I'm not part of a social group at school. Strange... but you just helped me a bit with my speech topic. Thanks dude
Annonymous
· 1 year ago
GREAT essay.....I live in India...and I'm not proud to tell you that the situation in private schools is getting close to the one you've described..... I'm in 9th grade....and I'd say I'm somewhere in the middle of the social ladder...I mean, I'm not popular because I'm not known by everyone....if I was..I'm pretty sure I would be..in our school, being 'famous' is synonymous with being popular.....and I'm not known because I don't want to be...'cause that would involve wearing truckloads of makeup everyday and wearing skirts about 1/2 a foot in length ( a little exaggeration maybe, but not much)This doesn't mean everyone who's popular is an airhead...I have a couple of friends who're really well known..and they're good people who're also smart.....I wouldn't mind being like them, except I'm not sure HOW.....because the social positions have been established already, and changing that is not the easiest thing in the world.
wade
· 1 year ago
ho are you today
Braddon
· 1 year ago
I find it pretty amusing that you describe Renaissance teenagers as cheerful apprentices. Haven't you read about Caravaggio?
I have a feeling that this article is just special pleading by someone who was a traumatised outcast in high school and has made his way in the "real world" by taking the opportunity of graduation to avoid it entirely and permanently.
Jen
· 1 year ago
I think your view is right on. What an amazing essay. I was a freak and chose that as the lesser evil to being labeled a nerd. Now as a Master's student and no longer very freaky, I am proud of my intelligence. If only I could have been so secure about it then. I only wish I could believe the "real world" was better. I just recently got fired by the high school quarterback and I felt like I was reliving high school :(
I figure it is only a matter of time before his C average leads him to further poor decisions. I was probably one of his most capable employees; unfortunately at his learning rate it will take him 3 times longer to realize it :)
Kevin
· 1 year ago
Hmmm... I was a nerd in high school, but I was also one of the most popular kids there as well. Being a nerd or a popular kid has nothing to do with intelligence, it all depends on attitude and social skills. I sucked at most sports, too, but that did not hinder me at all in high school.
High school is very similar to real life. Believe it or not, popularity is still a deciding factor in the workplace. But that person had to be something or do something to get to that point.
To call the high school quarterback dumb and ignorant is ignorant itself. Stereotypes do not always rule the world as most people think. Brooding over failures in high school will get you nowhere Jen. Maybe you should be more personable and less stuck-up about your "impressive intelligence".
anonymous
· 1 year ago
I'm currently a highschool student and this essay was actually very accurate, you kind of wrote it in the point of view that some teens see it in.
Your essay is the first essay ive read thats been written by a person whos graduated highschool and college and manages to sound decent to a highschooler. Most essays ive read usually tries to belittle youth culture, or try to explain one thing but end up saying something completely bogus.
You forgot to mention though that there are ways that nerds can actually beat the system and still manage to be smart, be praised for it, and yet still manage to be one of the most popular kids. I know its seems kind of like a movie thing but it does happen. Usually these "super teens" don't usually share how they did it because they don't others to do what they did so the original popular kids wouldn't start thinking "hey too many nerds are becoming popular, we gotta stop this."
In my school, the gangsters and b-boys are at the top of the popularity game. Well growing up i was a nerd, from grade 1-9. But then i started hanging out with an old friend of mine who happened to be transfering to my school and yes he was a gangster. Once everyone saw me with him they were like : "Yo man you chill with that guy? say word, didnt know you got deadly connections like that" and i was instantly popular yet still managed to pull a 94 average in gr10. There are other ways that nerds can do a popular leap but in our culture, you're not supposed to tell adults anymore than they need to know and you don't tell them anything that they can use to ruin your society.
Lex
· 1 year ago
I'm really blown away by how much several of your essays mirror my own feelings/thoughts. This is a great essay. Have you ever read anything by John Holt?
Samantha
· 1 year ago
Thank you for your essay. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was amusing, intelligent and a bit tongue-in-cheek at times. Although I can draw many parallels from my own experiences and observations and your own, I do not agree on everything you have said; though I do appreciate you sharing your views. I really liked the extended metaphor of the prison you continuously use throughout your essay. Nicely put there.
Aran
· 1 year ago
I am from the UK and although the situations you described were in America. I could in fact draw many parellels. Maybe UK and the US are more similar than previously thought. Very good essay!
X
· 1 year ago
I'm from Australia and finished year 12 last year, at my school the smart kids and the sporty kids interacted without any problems, it was infact the dumber kids that took any real critisism.
flora
· 1 year ago
Thats kinda way i think it should go,i think everyone should be popular. I think that instead of sitting at the unpopular and popular tables,people should sit together for there hobbies.
Shai
· 1 year ago
This was a very insightful essay. One that I had considerable enjoyment reading.
I can definitely relate to the author and the trials faced in high school. I think I faced even more scrutiny than normal as I was a dancer and chorister as well as an academic who just happened to be good at sports. I was a bit of an enigma and lot of Aussie males didn't know how to take me.
I totally agree that hormones have become the new excuse for inexcusable behaviour. Still, the education of morals and values must fall on the parents. The schooling system is to teach us many things, but if we can't learn the fundamentals of life and relationships from our parents, then schools have very little to work with.
Thank you once again for a very good read.
Jordan
· 1 year ago
So true. This pretty much describes my life since grade 7.
Kelsey
· 1 year ago
is this macat jordan??
Alex Lang
· 1 year ago
it probably is aagh i love macat
Kelsey
· 1 year ago
I really like this essay. I didn't really read the middle, but the beginning was realy interesting. I think it's cool that some kids actually made a populatarity chart. Future science project?
P.S. If anyone else from MACAT posts a comment, put MACAT Rules! (cause it does and you know it!)
EdD
· 1 year ago
Interesting. I used to be a nerd myself until I decided to take a stand for myself, went to the gym, learned judo and beat the crap out of my tormentors. Forget psychology, think nature and social order. What most people fail to realize is that we humans are by nature hierarchical creatures. And this behaviour is most noticeable in kids who are more atoned to their natural instincts than to reason. What we see in them, is what nature would have us be had we not developed reason (or what we might have been). Challenge the social order, and you will change your status in the hierarchy, but do so using your nerd skills, be smart, plan and execute, you don't need to go postal on anyone, just show them that the game stops here and it stops now.
Marcus
· 1 year ago
EdD-- You are right on the money.
welf
· 1 year ago
Here is the Russian translation of this excellent article
sheleah
· 1 year ago
I see exactly where everyone is coming from, im an idiot and im insainly popular.
Santh
· 1 year ago
Wow, what a brilliant essay!
Solomoriah
· 1 year ago
I dispute part of this essay... I suffer from Asperger's Syndrome, as do (I suspect) a great number of "nerds." Being popular (in the way described) is simply not possible for someone with an autistic spectrum disorder such as Asperger's.
Having said that, I did read the entire essay, and I do agree wholeheartedly with the conclusions about the sort of society modern Western secondary schools create within them. I worry about my daughter, who is a bit like me, but at present (at age 9) she is popular and respected by her peers. If only that situation survives...
John Emmery
· 1 year ago
Thank you
You've just solved something that I have been pondering for the last couple of years. I'm british and well ,a nerd but was actually pretty well liked at my secondary school, but I just couldn't figure out why people like me were so hated in american schools. If its OK I'd like to suggest this to some friends of mine, they may enjoy reading this and pass it on
jake
· 1 year ago
Most everything here, in my opinion, is true. There hasn't been anything i learned in school for a long time that i'm actually going to NEED in life. I'm sort of a nerd. I have friends, not many, but kids aren't like making fun of us. I go to a public American school. It's not like they make fun of us, beat us up, push us around. It's not that bad. But ya, sometimes we get made fun of. I'm actually trying to get an apprenticeship at a local airport. But the thing is, they say "it's a liability issue". I' willing to sign my life away. They just dont want me to help them. But at least I have a gf. And i'm doing a sport, that i'm good at, and i know what i want to do as i get older.
Alex Lang
· 1 year ago
i'm in a advanced program along with all of my friends and its sad that withing this group of nerds there is a hiearchy in itself i sent this to a bunch of my friends in the inner inner circle. with this essay i realized half the people in this "advanced group" arn't that advanced and would be up there bullying us anyways. and though my speling (get it) sucks and this came up on a search for how to make a essay longer this is important. jease when i become a supreme coart justice and destroy the electoral college system i'm also going to have to fix this remember my name for it will be important some day
Alex Lang
· 1 year ago
MACAT rules by the way (thats our advanced program)
Jenna
· 1 year ago
What, your going to be in the leagues of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs?
Jenna
· 1 year ago
I am so sending this to all of my teachers
Colin
· 1 year ago
good job on working on your essay. i can see the effort put in into thinking about and fine-tuning your work. yes, im also a nerd.
jess
· 1 year ago
this is a good essay but you are nerdy
jess
· 1 year ago
think this is cool but very sad u r all nerds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
Kev
· 1 year ago
I'm 22 years old guy, who just finished university, and got a great first job making over $50,000. In the beginning girls may attract ONLY by badboy/athelte/look type... but as you age more and more... guys who only have such feature can't do shit when they are dum as fuk, unless they have those features and have the intelligence. Girls then realize that they need to start eyeing on guys that are intelligent to survive or live easier in this world... so be patients and keep on studying hard and you'll get the girls and the popularity... In a sense i disagree with this essay, because there are guys that have it all... Looks/Intelligence/Popularity/sporty TRUE STORY =)
un known
· 1 year ago
I'm quoting you, for somthing I have to do at school. This essay is amazing
Brooke J
· 1 year ago
This essay is amazing. I'm nerdy and extremely anti-socilable and the one thing I hate about being nerdy is that everyone in class wants to copy my papers or work with me and do nothing.
Abel
· 1 year ago
wow this is a really good essay
i agree with you all the way
anyone suffering from sadness should stand strong
Luke Weston
· 1 year ago
hi my names luke and i study sociology at A level (UK) and i found this peice amazingly interesting and it opens a whole new perspective of high school i was classed as a nerd al my high school life and i tried to shift from group to group to gain popularity ... it didnt work i wish i had read this when i was 13 it would have made things alot easyer
Luke Weston
Mummy
· 1 year ago
Nerds are hot.
MadassAlex
· 1 year ago
I agree with you there. I love the nerdy girls.
They're a turn on in a way other girls just can't grasp.
are you a genius??? why hasn't this made sense until now? kudos.
Anna
· 1 year ago
I've been doing random Google searches to make myself feel better about being such an introvert. Instead of shouting across a noisy lunch table with 15 people, I spend my time reading the Iliad in an empty classroom. I found what I was looking for- brilliantly written.
Hopefully next year (college) will be better =)
Linda
· 1 year ago
My son consistently gets called a nerd at school. He is ten but skipped a year so is in year 6. He is in the Advanced program and is very smart. Even though he skateboards and snowboards and has long hair and dresses like a skater he still gets called a nerd because he is smart, wears glasses and is very good on the computer. He has lived on three continents and has travelled widely. He has a very adult sense of humor but as he doesn't play football he still gets called a nerd - which upsets him a lot. He nolonger wants to be in the advanced program and even suggested to me that if he got a 'B" or "C" on his report card maybe he would fit in better. It saddens me to think kids can be so cruel.
Perla
· 1 year ago
this is a really good essay!
you should be proud of yourself!!
even though im smart i am popular because i am entertaining to the really popular kids.
im smart like genius but every group of popular kids needs a nerd to get the plan an be the look out so thats were i stand maybe one day well break the system awsome essay
Erik
· 1 year ago
Fuck dude, this was an amazing read. Your points were spot on with my views of the world. Didn't think anyone else thought that way. Nice work. It's changed my life.
SeanPMG
· 1 year ago
Wow, that was a great article, I understand myself even more now! Power to the NERDS! I was a sucker for the process. I am so glad you took the time to put this up!
Joel
· 1 year ago
I agree with so much of what you say and have so many comments about it. My nerd experience was just like yours - awful in middle school, a bit better in high school. After a short and successful stint as a computer programmer, I'm now a high school teacher. What you say about kids and about teachers is very accurate - and I like to think of myself as one of those people swimming upstream to change the system. My classes are what you might call "nerd friendly". Still, there are lots and lots of problems with education - a good teacher can make a difference, but only a small one.
CFos
· 1 year ago
You sir are brilliant. If this is ever published in writing(which it should), i will be sure to buy it. Few people can bring themselves to put words to the ideas and feelings that brood in the back of our minds growing up, but you display them with absolute mastery.
Mad Kudos
Smart Beauty Queen
· 1 year ago
YOUR ALL JUST A BUNCH OF NERDS AND THIS PROVES IT! WHAT SORT OF LOSERS WRITE ABOUT BEING A NERD AT SCHOOL?? "OOH POOR ME" GET OVER IT! ITS NOT THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN! GET OUT OF THE PAST!
SeanPMG
· 1 year ago
Your name proves the point of the article perfectly! Thanks
HQ
· 1 year ago
ignorances kills, tank good i went to school in the Bahamas i mean i guess it's the same but we allow for more variations . Lets say u cld be popular amongst set "B" and unpopular amongst set " A" . that being said it was bitter sweet . a loser to most amongst guys {some girls to}, but the complete opposite to others {mostly females I was that type of guy}
ali
· 1 year ago
hay dawg nerds r smart people and i think u will end up behind bars trust dawg
boats46
· 1 year ago
I STRONGLY AGREE
Colin
· 1 year ago
I'm doing a presentation on how Intelligent people tend to be socialy unnacepted for my psychology class and I would just like to thank the autor of this peice. For one, you've really helped me get some much needed info and secondly I READ THE WHOLE THING. Im cosidered to be a "normal" person but I think fo ymself as a nerd. I'm proud to know about what's going on around me and I've been exposing myself to situations thatmy high-school peers have no experience with. It's great to be smart, but hey, everyone wants to be socialy accepted. Again thank you and I will cite your works if my teacher asks.
i dont have a name
· 1 year ago
Ok, I am also a self-proclaimed, " nerd" and upmostly sientist and have always been fasinated by my generation culture. It is indeed absolutly barbaric and very much " lord of the flies" material. For months now i have been working to find out how and why so many of my peers can just acept this as normal , compleatly un-defied fact. As far as any of my friends know, all there is too life is just floating through school and then getting a job and then being a loving housewife! You have helped put all of my research into words and hopefully i will be abel to complete my mission to save my generation and others to follow from such dire passivity. They do not understand that there is any other way to live or that there ever was. And when they are lucky enough to hear the truth most simply push it out of there mind because they cant accept that the only thing they have ever known is screwed and that their underlying suspitions that adults just tell us it takes all our young lives to learn what we need to get a job and make a dif. . Rather suspitions that it takes exacly as long as it does for us to grow up and be " usesful" hrmm? - A High school girl who has taken it upon herself to save her f fellow prison mates.
adinoyi
· 1 year ago
All the way from Nigeria in West Africa, I have experienced the same problems, while in secondary school, labeled as an "eccentric".
SeanPMG
· 1 year ago
Love it!
kata
· 1 year ago
Must be nice to be so smart. I was part of the other variety of Nerd, may also be known as geeks.
anonymous
· 1 year ago
I am also a nerd. In Junior High I had the social status of the lowest class, with my only friends being fellow nerds. At my School, we had three classes: Jocks, cheerleaders, and nerds.I was unpopular because I would listen to Classical music and read Shakespeare in my spare time. I was never the one who got in trouble: Only the meat-brained Jocks who thought they were so "wonderful" just because they could shoot a ball through a hoop.
foobar
· 1 year ago
a wonderful to-the-point essay. the title should be different as this is not so much about nerds as about schools and their pointless degenerate social system in general. should also be mentioned that schools other than american highschools share pretty much the same problems. most schools suck and the older I get the reasons for that crystalize and manifest themselves more and more. what bothers me is that, when you are young and still in school, adults (teachers in particular but parents too) degrade your opinion and take away your confidence about your thoughts. they make you believe that things go wrong because there is something wrong with you. the sheer reality, however, is that there's something wrong with all those joining this pointless game in school (which are an estimated 90%), not with those who don't. Today, people listen to me because I am older (24) but in fact my mind hasn't changed much and is still the same as ten years ago. I hope that schools and society in general will realize this situation and change. Otherwise I will refuse to have children on my own and someday die laughing because this sick system will finally eat itself.
Michael
· 1 year ago
Paul, excellent essay, the best one I've read on the subject, thanks for your work!
One important part is missing though, what steps did you decide to take to help your children prevent the same misery?
Michael
Globetrotting Nerd
· 1 year ago
This essay is 100% accurate. For all you who are still in high school, my advice is to avoid the place as much as you can while still doing well (because it's true that you have to do WELL in high school to get out of the horrible fakey world of the suburbs). Here are some tips for doing this:
In most states high school kids are able to take a large proportion of their classes at community colleges. This is what I ended up doing, and I don't know how I would have made it through otherwise. It instantly helped me to see that high school was a farce, and all I had to do was wait it out.
Another great idea is international travel. This doesn't have to mean a huge expense; many exchange and volunteer programs are relatively cheap, and teens could easily pay their own way through these programs with earnings from a part time job. International travel, particularly to developing nations, will help you to broaden your perspective like nothing else, and if you participate in an exchange, could buy you up to a year outside of high school while still earning you credits for it.
Also, take every single school-sanctioned opportunity you can to get off campus. Spanish club field trip to a Cinco de Mayo Festival? GO! Does it matter that you have no interest in learning Spanish? No way! If it means getting off campus, do it. Period.
Finally, I must suggest you learn about and exploit your school's excused absence policy. At my school, we got 10 absences a year for free, plus extras for things like dentist's appontments, church services (Not religous? Go anyways! Temple, mass, mosque-- learn something new and give all holiday services a try.), etc. This meant I could be absent from school around 15-20 days a year with absolutely no penalty whatsoever, assuming I did the homework for the next day. Band together with your fellow nerds to let each other know about homework and missed assignments, and take turns doing something more interesting with your time.
Final piece of advice: join the school paper. This is a classic nerd enclave, and typically give offers enough freedom that you can write something at least moderately interesting. Plus, journalism teachers are often nerds themselves, and are usually willing to open their classroom as a nerd sanctuary during lunch.
If you take all these pieces of advice, you'll minimize your exposure to the poisonous high school environment, while simultaneously doing the very things colleges like to see (i.e., getting involved with a wide range of outside activities, making you appear to be a more balanced, well-rounded individual). This will help you to get OUT of the boring, sterile suburbia you grew up in, and then your life can REALLY begin.
THEBULLYNERD
· 1 year ago
I USED To be the best Bully in primary school(which i know regret) but when i got to secondary i had a fight with the top bully from another scholl and he beaten the shit out of me so in my eyes i saw the path of the NERD at lest being the least popular is better then being bored at the middle grade
P.S at our school these older kids made this book school yard rules and its all about who is a bully and who is a nerd and nerds and bully's and rich N famous people are ON the top the rest is like normal unpopular kids
aristus
· 1 year ago
The idea of modern children as "neurotic lapdogs" is right on the money. I was fortunate to be a working dog in a family business. I spent half the day learning trivia in school and the other half fixing machines. Nothing teaches algebra, or at least V=I*R, like picking up the wrong end of a solder iron. Sure, keep them out of mines and put safties on the power tools and make sure they have their shots, but don't lock kids up with nothing to do.
I think this phenomenon is more common in the anglophone world. An almost universal observation by people from Latin America about the US is how isolated life is outside of work or school.
I'm a little worried how I can do the same with my kids. My childhood was an outright oddity: my parents ran a small farm and an electronics repair shop. My wife and I could work from home if we pushed for it, but it's not obvious what help a 12-year-old would be to a programmer or a painter/writer. I guess we'll have to find out.
Freak
· 1 year ago
I love this article, it follows so many things I noticed when I was in high school, which wasn't that long ago, I'm only 22. I started out the same path as the nerd, I was smarter than most of my classmates, I was more interested in reading a book than playing sports. But it happened early enough that I didn't slide into the nerd crowd, they were still a part of society when I drifted away from it, which left me very lonely and isolated, when I reached high school, as most if not all high school students do, I cast about for the feeling of belonging. In my school, there was one group that was always open, and that was what the author of this article refers to as the freaks. I was weird, and that made me popular. In fact my wierdness had an inverse effect, I was very popular among the misfits, and a core group of us formed what I felt was a counter-high-school-society, we drank and smoked pot, we used big words and read good books and learned to be specialists rather than conforming to a standard. I only wish we could have had better guidance, because so many of us never graduated high school or went to college, and our intelligence was wasted through continued drug use or incarceration or death. A lucky few of us have made it out into society with the ability to make something of ourselves in it. Kids have the drive to do great things, they just need help to learn its ok to be weird.
me
· 1 year ago
kl
Ndividual
· 1 year ago
I once stumbled on this article during my last university days. you have no idea how far reaching this is. It saved me a lot of frustration understanding why that fake lifestyle came as default. Truly helpful if not lifesaving.
As someone said, you kinda missed out on the steps/solutions. On the other hand, after reading the article the best advice could be to simply understand. Not much can be done on something that's come by default and no-one wants to do anything abt it (trust me, if you talked about a topic like this where i studied it would be tantamount to what happened to Jesus when he lashed at the pharisees - that much i know).
I was "the geek" who did nothing much other than 1's and 0's in school. Now i have a good job at the age of 23. Most of the rest in my set either married immediately after (for the ladies - nothing against that, but you get my drift), or are now in trial and error mode. And that costs time.
Once again, thank you so much.
ur a id
· 1 year ago
nub
André
· 1 year ago
After reading your essay, I noticed this is an international fact, with some cultural variations depending of the country. I'm a portuguese 16 year old kid, and as part of an european and western country, we are strongly influenced by american culture: kids listen to MTV, kids eat more and more burgers, and get more and more fat; kids have that kind of social "organization" at high schools... Here, as we play our football (soccer) instead of yours, we don't have the quarterbacks, the high school leagues and cheerleaders. the popular kids are normally the ones who play soccer in a local club, playboys and overall athletic and acording to girls: rebel handsome guys. and then we have a variety of undercultures: skaters, the "mean rappers pseudo black hood guys", metalheads, geeks,... and the weird marilyn manson-like kid staring at people in his corner, with his hair covering his face... In my case, I'm a mix of cultures: I'm a nerd, because I love history, politics and physics (and want to be a physic), I'm half metalhead, as I have long hair and listen mostly to metal (although I also have the nerdy taste for jazz and some classical music...), and I'm a bit freak, because although I don't belong to their group, I have a brain, I don't study, I have good grades and a weird mind and personality; and so people look at me as an interesting odity and don't piss me off that much (popular girls find it funny when I say pneumoultramicroscopicsilicovulcanoconiosis in japanese...). Anyway, I can say I've been bullied a lot in the 8th grade (we had a retarded kid in the 7th and a geek in the 9th...), and in high school, as I started practicing martial arts and have an higher confidance, they now don't go after me. but as I am in a mix of groups and I don't specially belong to any of them (have nerd friends, metalhead friends, skater friends, etc... although none of them are close friends...), I am normally a lonely guy, sometimes depressed, most of times feeling as an alien traped in a boring, senseless mini-world, just in school to absorve an amount of boring trivia because I have to (I have much higher grades than the ones I need to enter college). And so my life at this point is just a limbo, where I wait for real, interesting life. Concluding, what you say applies for most of the modern western world. American case just seems like the ultimate, plastic, stereotiped and clearly bordered version of high school social organization. I just hope that in the future, educational system becomes a comprehensive formation for young people, instead of just a stereotyped factory of labor.
Celeron Cyto
· 1 year ago
I haven't read through the whole thing, but I don't think that being smart makes you unpopular. It's more like: being unpopular makes you smart. Maybe you aren't a football player or maybe you don't have the personality to be popular; the result is you're lonely with nothing "better" to do than homework, books and video games. That's mostly where nerds come from.
andrew
· 1 year ago
You and I have both reached the same conclusion. What saddens me is that their is a loser in this process. People that tried to be popular, are penalized. I'm glad there are other people who share this opinion with me.
chocolate
· 1 year ago
nerds smell...
NERD GEEK
· 1 year ago
you are so mean nerds are hot!!!!!!!!!
twin
· 1 year ago
please dont so immature about this topic... it really hurt my feelings as i am a nerd...and i do not smell... thankyou
boats46
· 1 year ago
look people make fun of me and i have no problem, there is always someone out there that will have a problem with you
Kat
· 1 year ago
Thank you for writing this piece and for sharing it with everyone else.
It really was enlightening. Something tells me that this should be some sort of required reading for teens, or at the very least, we could have been introduced to this concept earlier... It's amazing to find an article about a matter that few people really talks about, and even if they do, they rarely go into an analysis as deep as this.
In school, I was mostly a floater, which, if I understand correctly, is a word that meant I could interact with a lot of people and wasn't particularly confined to a specific group-this was what I was. Of course, though there are advantages and disadvantages to this, it was particularly interesting that I was able to see school life from the perspectives of different people...
I agree with the idea that perhaps, the reason why many teenagers are frustrated or unsatisfied these days is that we rarely feel that we have a purpose, we are mostly idle and stuck in between not being able to enter the adult world... It's rather saddening to be constantly surrounded by the trivialities and unmeaningful things that occur in our circumstances. Hmmm. A lot remains to be said...
Again, I would like to thank you for writing this and for letting us read it. It is very much quite interesting and I loved it. ^_^
Whiteandnerdychick
· 1 year ago
Nerds rule and i am proud to be one! wOoT!!!
Wedgie
· 1 year ago
NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
sarah
· 1 year ago
Though you pose thought-provoking points, i disagree with much of your essay. In general, I don't think nerds are unpopular because they are distracted by the more important need to be smart. Like was mentioned before me, they focus on being smart because they've already been rejected by their peers. Since they need something to focus on, and they've failed in the popularity aspect, that's the first thing they turn to.
I also disagree with your views on school. You see it as a "prison" in which to drop off your children so adults can get things done. The skills and work habits developed in school remain for a lifetime, and are necessary for whatever profession they choose to pursue. Being around other people their own age, it also encourages development of social skills and proper behavior in public. Children begin exploring from an early age the different courses offered in school, thus determining their area of interest(s). Therefore, they can choose which career they have according to their strengths and likes.
Though perhaps my judgment is clouded, as I am in high school presently.
chris
· 1 year ago
As a 35 year old professional and business owner, I'm sorry to say that you appear to be a bit too close to the problem to really see how detrimental the existing public school system is.
It's been my experience that it takes about 10 years or so to undo the damage done by the "skills" and "habits" acquired in a traditional high school environment. It is only after this "unlearning" period that a person's erratic behavior can settle down into something repeatable, useful, and productive
ben
· 11 months ago
yeah, that sounds about right
Justin Carr
· 1 year ago
that blew me away. i know i'm leaving a comment, but really i'm speechless. I feel like i know what you're saying, and at the same time, its all over my head. I'll have to take time to read it again, and maybe take some notes. but very insightful all the same.
mike
· 1 year ago
I am a nerd and I found this article offensive. What's wrong with being a nerd? Did popular kid invent the computer? No Did a jock invent te ipod? No. Has a popular kid ever been President? No. How is it fair that we are treated like crap? We are unpopular because the system set in place by populars. Yet your telling us why we should be like them. I like the way I am and wouldn't change one bit.
Lol pie
· 1 year ago
I think you're missing the point... Take a deep breathe, and read it again.
Jess
· 1 year ago
Wow, you sound like you didn't even read the article. Good job mate.
Madison
· 1 year ago
I'm an introverted 14 year old nerd in high school who has always been weird one out, and although I strongly believe I am who I am and shouldn't change... It's hard. People believe I'm worthless and a loser, and I was believing them, but you're right. This really cheered me up. Thank you!
Lost-Chances
· 1 year ago
I'm a loser fag who goes on newgrounds forums :'( Help me improve my life.
ClickToPlay
· 1 year ago
I'm also a loser, I have no friends and I'm secretly have a crush on my best male bud. Even worse, I go on Newgrounds.
What can you do to help me?
boats46
· 1 year ago
YES ON 8!
Jerry
· 1 year ago
we are being dumbed down to keep vulnerable girls from pedophiles. the nerds are in fact ACTUALLY the ones bullying everyone else. once i realized this my brain popped.
Jerry
· 1 year ago
also, poor lower class people hate nerds because nerds are WHY
Jerry
· 1 year ago
i can outmasturbate all you bastards
Shay
· 1 year ago
This essay was wonderful, I normally don't read essays unless I'm forced. I have long seen this happening within my school. A public school - revolving around this 'popularity contest'. I admit to have briefly joined but when I think about it, what good will it do when I graduate? Who will even remember me as 'that popular girl from high school'? My employers won't care that I had the most friends, or was considered higher in the food chain. Pah! I'm living my life and making the most of it, because I know that it will take me far. I study all the time, and dream of inventing and making the world a better place. I call myself a nerd, because I'd hate to be classed popular.
boats46
· 1 year ago
well im not a nerd and i'm not popular either and my brother told me that when you are not popular in elemantary school you will be when you are older which happened to him, and i'm always depressed and i've never had a happy day (i'm in 6th grade) but since i'm a know it all people call me a nerd, and all the rest of the smart kids are popular and i know i dress well because my brother told me what to wear and now that he is in college and now i have no support and no i don't play any onlinegames like world of warcraft which i think is just stupid and my dad always jealous of my knowlege which i don't think thats the problem
dfg
· 1 year ago
Punctuation. Use it.
mom
· 1 year ago
I'm a mother with two sons in high school. One considers himself a nerd. The other keeps under the radar as he puts it. I sent both this article to lighten the burden of high school. I wanted to home school but the boys wanted more time with friends thus they chose the public HS system. At times they are not sure it was worth it. You pretty much hit the nail on the head. School IS an artificial environment and unfortunately kids are stuck with it for too much of their youth. These are the years they should be exploring, creating, inventing. Their minds are fresh and untainted by society. School locks them down with boring details that "the others" think are important. I say give them the basics and then let them choose which courses to take in an environment that pertains more to their interests with enough guidance to keep them safe. Let them open up their world instead of locking them down in mindless dribble day in day out. And no homework - enough is enough. As far as nerds go. I have always found them more interesting to talk with than any popular kid. In my day the popular kids were boring, empty headed, insecure and some were mean. Are they still? They knew how to work others period. Talk about an unimportant skill to master. I wish there was some way to wiggle my nose Samantha style and make all kids realize how first and foremost the opinion one has of oneself is the only one that should be so important. High school is a blink of the eye in one's life and I wish kids could see that while in it. Putting things in perspective is very hard while living it BUT it can be done. And no, I wouldn't go back to high school for anything. I don't go to the reunions cause I could care less about what those kids are doing. I didn't CHOOSE to have them in my life I was only stuck with them for a while. Remember that.
Jessie
· 1 year ago
"They knew how to work others period. Talk about an unimportant skill to master."
Unfortunately-- think about how many successful people have gotten ahead on that. As people, we're all too quick to dismiss how valuable certain social skills-- even the ones used to con other people-- are.
Yeah, it sucks and it's unfair, but... that's just the way it is, it seems.
As for the bullies-- I really wouldn't be surprised to see them bullying others beneath them in workplaces, being managers or HR people, and managing to look great to the bosses and like manipulative assholes to the people who work under 'em.
Unfortunately, "working people"-- particularly in combination with a sadistic streak-- and the ability to go undetected-- seems to be an attribute in the career world. :/
8th Grader
· 1 year ago
Want some advice on how to improve your life? Read this:
"It's much more about alliances. To become more popular, you need to be constantly doing things that bring you close to other popular people, and nothing brings people closer than a common enemy." - Paul Graham, Why Nerds are Unpopular
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't give anyone with influence over other people's ideas ANY REASON TO DISLIKE YOU. Even if people are insulting you with being provoked, just ignore them and maybe throw a sarcastic 'Nice to see you too' (most of them are too stupid to recognize sarcasm anyway). Eventually people will warm up to you, and you'll feel better anyway when you just ignore the stupid crap that they say. For example, I know a kid who is called by many people 'gay.' I didn't particularly like him since he was rude. The problem was that he was rude to everyone. When you respond the the stupid crap that people say, you just give people more feul to dislike you, and less guilt when they ruin your life. My life was miserable in 7th grade because I didn't understand that dissing them back wouldn't help me. When I started 8th grade, I began to notice how rediculous the antics the other kids used really were. Slight polite things to people you don't know will get them to like you. If this is the way you act, why would you have enemies?
successfulnerd
· 1 year ago
I just wanted to add this comment. I was also a nerd in school and a member of the chess team, beta etc. I remember the football players cheerleaders popularity ect. through high school. I went to college got my degree and came back to the small town I was from. I now see some of the popular kids from back in the day. The football players still have their high school trophies up as there only accomplishment and drink daily because of an unfilling life. The tables do turn however, because once you nerds began to earn money, you will get the cheerleaders in the end trust me. The funny thing is, the people that were popular in high school still do not understand this even in adult age, and will be wondering how you took their girl from them (because they were a great sport star lol). So, in conclusion suffer for a few years (it seems only fair if you think about it), its worth it, because in the end you will have the prettiest girls, money, and a great life and can then pick on the high school football star if you are feeling sadistic. Or you could choose to fire him, because you will be his boss.
boats46
· 1 year ago
that is exactly what my brother told me
SAVEusJESUS
· 1 year ago
Thats not true successfulnerd just because you were poupler in high school and didnt do good job on classes dont mean you wont have succesfull life, anyone can with a passion and faith.
successfulnerd
· 1 year ago
Well there have been many successful people that didnt do good in school. Think about it though, if you are not willing to make good grades in school, then you are probably not going to do well in life. "your i will, is more important than your iq" this is true. This doesnt change the fact that if you didnt make good grades go to college, that the unpopular kid that was picked on will be your boss. Im sure if you look well enough through research articles you will find a correlation between education and income. There are always outliers in any stat though, but do you really wanna bank on that?
successfulnerd
· 1 year ago
Your brother is a wise man then. I may not be the most moral man, but I have one girlfriend, and my secretary was the beauty queen of the day, and is now coming to visit me in 15 minutes because I decided to take the day off. She dated the football quarterback in highschool, but whos door is she coming to knock on now? Im only 26 so its not been long since I was in high school. I can tell you rough it out, because you will get what you earn. A person can have long or short term goals. Being popular in school gets you nothing after graduation day. After school is over, money, charisma, education are what matters, not how you throw a ball.
boats46
· 1 year ago
well he is 18 and he goes to fresno state university and he was very poplar in high school, so i can get some easy advice (and no he is nott ghetto or a gangster and doesn,t like rap, he likes punk rock), thanks for the comment successfulnerd
boats46
· 1 year ago
successfulnerd, to tell you the truth i'm only in the 6th grade so all these things you were telling me won't happen for a long long time
mike
· 1 year ago
I hate popular kids they are the ones that always start the conflicts and cause kids to snap anddo terriable things. Populars hate the words "different" and "eqauilty" because they believe that nerds will bring the world to an end.
mike
· 1 year ago
Bottomline: adults don't and will never understand the conflict because they are popular sympathizers by saying that nerds should just wait and become succesful. Plus it's probably been over 20 years since they weein high school.
successfulnerd
· 1 year ago
I sympathize and all the rest of adults do as well. I mean I am only 26 you have 4 years after high school to become successful, what more do you want? Let those less fortunate have their glory days from their teens to remember for the rest of their life. How can you say an adult does not understand after they have been through what you have, and have seen the outcome?
amerz
· 1 year ago
I accidentally came across this article and I couldn't stop reading it! I would say I sat at the B Table in school, but definitely viewed school like a fake place for holding. I was a certain ranking at school then another on the school bus and someone totally different at home. I guess it was unconsciously playing the game. How sad. Now I know better why I am homeschooling my children. They need to be part of the real world and see that even they are important to society.
boats46
· 1 year ago
i don't care if i'm popular really i just want to go to college and have a successful life and i think you are a good father but you bring them to a good school where there are no gangs because school is for learning not about being popular everone should no that
9th grader
· 1 year ago
This is a great article i couldn't stop reading it
I read the whole essay and what I can say is that it perfectly reflects my own experience, and that it's not only like this in the American system, but also in the French system (I'm French). Without being arrogant I can say that I was always a "smart" girl, I was a year ahead of the others, and I almost always got the best marks everywhere. When I was in primary school, I sometimes had to cope with the jealousy of certain people, but I had friends and I was really happy. My life became really miserable when I reached high school. What I felt then was basically that even the people I used to know and like in primary school had been turned into stupid and mean people almost instantly. I cannot say I was constantly bullied, probably because I'm a girl (I think it's worse for boys). However, I was sometimes bullied and very often ostracised. I had a few good friends, who were not necessarily nerds themselves but happened to behave more intelligently. You analysis is so, so true. Conformism really is the key. And indeed, I already realised back then that the reason why I was not part of their "society" was that I hated the idea of conforming to their stupid rules so much, that I'd rather pay the price and stick to my principles, even if it meant being uncool and lonely. And what you say about adults is also very true. They absolutely don't realise what's going on. To them, you are smart, hard-working, getting good marks, so everything is OK. I remember how I sometimes felt distressed when they would meet at the end of the semester to review all students, and would usually spend about 3 seconds on me because "everything was alright" and "there was no problem". I also remember feeling like killing my teacher when he started praising my work for what seemed like hours in front of the class, while I could feel the jealousy and hatred growing in my fellow student's minds. He was pronouncing a social death sentence without being aware of it. Some of my "friends" even went to see him and complain that he was praising me too much, and that they found that annoying, but he got angry and did not understand the problem. I also think that this issue is a key to what they call the falling standards in education. Some people have real difficulties, but a lot are bad or average just because studying and showing interest in your studies is SO uncool, and also because getting good marks would put them closer to nerd status. Most people in general don't understand this issue, and many even laughed at me when I complained about this; I was the "poor little smart girl" who complained about insignificant stuff while they would have like soooo much to have had my good marks (but they probably wouldn't have liked what came with them). Maybe some of them won't acknowledge it because they participated in the system and feel ashamed of it, or just because they are completely unaware of the mechanisms you described so well and to them it seems "natural".
Rei
· 1 year ago
I completely agree with you but the fact that you're friends were complaining to the teacher seem as they weren't actually friends but instead associates. Otherwise I just have to say that I really admire you for your all the work that you had to go through. I was also in your situation so I completely understand well besides being french and all. lol ^_^ I hope to communicate with you again.
tesa
· 1 year ago
hey,........ this is so very true and most people are bullies to special ed! so i do understand what you are trying to say about being a nerd or popular!
babay
· 1 year ago
yall sucjk
boats46
· 1 year ago
you suck, i guarantee you won't be successful after high school babay, which you are a baby
just a girl* =]
· 1 year ago
wonderful essay!
i always felt so conflicted in highschool. i definately identified with nerds but since i happen to be attractive i banked on that instead and chose my words very carefully because heaven forbid anyone should realize i was *gasp* SMART!
in middle school, before i'd discovered a straightening iron and figured out how to apply my make up correctly i was so jealous of the popular kids. everyone was always talking about them and their parties and i just wanted so much to be a part of it, just like everyone on the other side did.
fast forward a few years- i realized that i had finally done it. i was one of them- on the "right" side, if you take my meaning.
i remember being briefly at this party my senior year where some of the "cooler" sophomores were congregating and it wasn't glamorous the way i would have once imagined it to be. i found myself thinking how two years ago i would've died to be here, and here i was. the girls, the ones who won't talk to you unless you're somebody, the types i'd always found so intimidating, were sloppy drunk and making asses out of themselves getting felt up publicly by boys who were dumber than they were...
and suddenly the irony of it just hit me, that THIS is what i'd been missing out on all these years... and i just smiled to myself. i think i felt myself grow up a little bit in that moment having finally realised the secret of highschool:
popularity is a facade. it really only exists to those who aren't popular- the popular kids themselves don't even think about such things because they aren't that self aware. they're bland and ignorant and they merely EXIST and those who believe they're beneath the higherups perpetuate their starpower by admiring them and talking about them and for what? it's tiring to even think about it.
i'm just so happy that it's over!
oh and don't hate on my email address... yessss i know that it's lame. i made it in the 8th grade. =]
anonymous
· 1 year ago
the difference between being a nerd and being smart is how you show it, im smart and decently popular you just cant flaunt it, nerds feel the need to display their intelligence, truly smart people know, they dont need to, and dont, its all about how you use it
boats46
· 1 year ago
their are kids like you at my school anonymous, and they all call me a nerd because im the smartest boy out of my whole elemantary school, and i get my clothes at ae(american eagle) so i know that i dress great and my clothes match< and i hate every japanese show like pokemon, and i don't play video games and i don't talk about video games, and i don,t like drawing i don't like any fantasy things (shows, games, etc.) such as dragons, wizards, warlocks, witches, elves, santa, etc. i only have 3 friends (no they are not nerds, they are popular) and they really treat me like i'm popular, and i trust them because they have never lied to me
Nicolas
· 1 year ago
When I was in high school, I had the best marks. And I was really popular, something like sitting in the A table, to use your cafe-scale. Being naturaly smart (i.e ability to learn fast) is a true gift: you can play both game :-) The study game, my parents taught me it, it was prety simple: "you surely don't see the point learning all these stuffs, but just do what you are asked, value achievement and performance above all, then you will be rewarded few years later". The popular game, I learned it by myself, observing how it works: be cool, ally with popular people, but NEVER look or pretend to be smart (being a live wire can help alot), lie (not too much), perform as best as you can in sport (practice if you're not good enough). This is the way to be successful in life, having a happy high school.
And by the way when you play soccer, you don't need to care about the glass of water above your head, just stay focus on your objective, you know you will be able to refill the glass later, sticking with the image. Still... it worked for me.
Anonymous
· 1 year ago
God, I raged hard at this comment. Not only are you one smug bastard, you also seem to think that obedience and sycopanthy is the way to go.
I mean, sure, you'll be popular and "happy", but in my opinion, you lose any and all integrity when you decide to just "go with the flow" and change who you really are, just to be socially accepted.
Also, the method you use for studying is really bad. You should learn things because you WANT to, not "just because" as your parents seem to have taught you. A mindset like that creates dispassionate drones, something that is, in fact, NOT desirable at all. I mean, would you rather have a doctor who became a doctor simply because he wants to help people or a doctor who's just in it for the cash? I'm sure you get fantastic results in school, but really, it's a bad work ethic, just mindlessly following after rewards.
Hyphin
· 1 year ago
I agree with what a few people have already said. I was a very high acheiver in High School, as in, top grades and a friend to the teachers. I was also part of all sorts of philanthropy clubs, and peer support clubs. Basically, on paper, I might look have looked like a nerd, now that I think back on it. But I was also very popular. I ran for President of the student body, when I was in grade 12 and won in a landslide. I have no idea whether or not I can speak for everyone who gives it their all in High School, but listen, for me, it was all about social 'regular'ness, or better yet, social moderation. I never tried to put myself in ONE category of people, which is what happens SO MUCH in High School, and what I noticed many of the people I knew did. That just isn't how you get the most from High School. That's what I felt, anyways.
hello
· 1 year ago
i HATE nerds i am not a nerd i dont want to be a nerd i dont get the point of this website DELETE IT!
bum
· 1 year ago
my comment is that i don't think that's why nerds are unpopular. I think it's because they are soooooooooooooo gay!!!!!!!!!!!
me
· 1 year ago
Could you be a little more specific please?
hello
· 1 year ago
i am not in high school yet but i dont like school sort of
bum
· 1 year ago
why r u a nerd i didn't know that hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
bum
· 1 year ago
why r nerds unpopular that doesn't tell me anything
Calling you out
· 1 year ago
I the comments humor me, compare the comments of the people who accept they are nerds to the ones of the people who "hate nerds" notice any correlation between nerds and proper usage of grammar and spelling and the people who "hate nerds" seem to have almost no grammatical or spelling skills, using test speak. I laugh at those people, Truth is I was a "nerd" once in high school and I hated it I would have given up my intelligence to be one of the cool kids that is how bad I wanted it, but I had something that the average imbecile popular kid didn't have, determination. Sure I went through high school with only a handful of good friends but I still had fun at their expense using my skills. I took control of 5 of the most popular kids facebooks and completely messed up their lives for a while, got kids suspended, and many other exploits that got me a good laugh as well as my friends, and some detention time too. But alas, I have wandered far from my point, you have to be determined, I am in college now and am an Electrical and Computer Engineering major, but I am in a fraternity have some really good friends and have a good time, I am not the most popular guy but I am a lot happier and a lot more popular now. Just wait after high school when all those idiots are failing out of college because they can't even get a liberal arts degree and were only on a sports scholarship while you have a high gpa and success.
Nicholas
· 1 year ago
As a current senior in High School, I have no issues calling myself a nerd. I am (though I hate to be pompous) very intelligent, enjoy generally un-popular activities, such as Magic: the Gathering, Dungeons and Dragons and the like, do not have the most finesse in social situations (though I don't consider myself to be particularly inept), etc.
I've come to find that, yes, the lower-tier of the social ladder try to step on us as a self-boost, and to be quite honest I can't completely blame them for that. I can understand the goal, just not the means. However, being intelligent as I am (as well as having a great degree of artistic prowess), I seem to command, if not popularity, a sort of respect from my peers. It turns out that I am generally disliked by people who have never met me, but liked by almost everyone who's gotten to know me. In the world, it's respect, not popularity, that gets you places. Make yourself well-known for what you're good at and people will know you less for your shortcomings, although you can't be too overt without seeming pompous and self-serving (For example, I prefer to draw in public and let other people see for themselves how I am, rather than say "I'm a badass artist, look at my stuff." verbally).
When someone asks you why you prefer to sit around jotting down code on scrap paper for later when you can smack it into your computer rather than going out and playing sports? I frequently respond by asking them why they like playing sports rather than practicing theater. I may not know anything about their football coaches, quarterbacks, teams, whatever, but I'm damn sure they couldn't tell me about Frank Frazetta, Chuck Close, or R.K. Post.
Case in point: Keep yourself happy with -you-, show people that you're confident in yourself, and the only people who're gonna' keep bothering you are the incorrigible idiots who're gonna' do it anyway.
Karley
· 1 year ago
Alot of the reason people think nerds are uncool, is because of the mindset they have. MOST have the mentality that if your smart, you don't have time for much else like maintaining a social life, replacing the glasses with contacts, combing there hair in a better way, or pulling down there pants a little. I enjoy being around intelligent people. It's refreshing. But when there so 'smart' that they disconnect themselves from the world, then it's annoying, and i do not like them much. I mean, honestly, you CAN go home and play dungeons and dragons and STILL be a cool person. I don't care if you still play with pokemon cards.. you can still participate in the outside world.
hanna
· 1 year ago
the guy SITTING BESIDE ME IS A NERD. HAH JK. I LOVE YOU allen.
yashamaru
· 1 year ago
cool post. you guys should also check out www.wundergrad.com, i stumbled across it yesterday. it seems new, it's about nerds.
Icy
· 1 year ago
This is an excellent essay. In-depth, profound, articulate and beautifully written. I take my hat off to you.
Fellow Nerd.
Ziv
· 1 year ago
Great artical, i'm 16 years old from a different country. I've understood many things that no one can understand unless he listens to an experienced adult. What are you suggesting nerds should do? Fit in or be careless? Thank you very much.
mom
· 1 year ago
As the parent of a 13 year old who is a "nerd" to his peers-I cried when I read this essay-It made some profound points. I have wanted to get him out of a "mainstream school for a few years now, but for some reason he doesn't want to look for an alternative. I will print this and let him"find" it to read for himself-Thanks
Anonymous
· 1 year ago
Terrific! As a 21-year old guy from Europe, I can tell you that problems like that unfortunately aren't exclusively American. I saw myself in almost everything you mentioned. I fear that those "worst years" from 11 to 17 may have left some permanent marks on me, but I guess we all have our problems.
Anyway, great article, I'll be sure to send anyone who don't 'get' nerds to come here and read. It explains the situation as it is. Thanks again!
trokia
· 1 year ago
Great article, brought back some unhappy memories and some good. I'm from the UK and my education was to be honest (and being polite) rubbish. Not due to the substandard ability of my teachers to "teach" but due to the lack of having a place, using the table system I would be out the school, down the road and up a tree eating my dinner on my own.
One of my passions in life is rugby and this went down well with all the more popular kids, I was fast, agile and held a squad place through all my years at high school. I was also quite creative, not the most intelligent of students but willing to answer questions and even question what was being taught to us and so I was also popular with the "nerds". Or so you would think. I become a sort of go to guy on match days and when English, Art and Music essays had to be done the rest of the time I was an outcast. I spent most of my school days on my own either reading or practicing on the fields. In my words a full on billy no mates. When I reached college I was in a pretty low place suffering from depression and more than once contemplated suicide, I didn't think I was going to stick it out but then I found other people who had been just like me, we have formed some strong friendships that last to this day, which rebuilt my confidence and allowed me to look back and be glad that my time at high school has made me into the man I am now, ten years on.
I'm not the most successful of people nor am I unfortunate but I have found my place through the help of good friends, an eventual determination to better myself and to enjoy the things that I enjoy, from rugby to reading to playing RPG games on my pc, no matter what anyone thinks or says otherwise.
Some advice to anyone who wants it. Stick with your passions, don't change for anyone apart from yourself and try your most to enjoy high school, it can be tough but think that in ten years what do you want to look back on and say.
Some Guy
· 1 year ago
This is article if full of some intellectual stuff. But I really think you'd be a happier person if you didn't analyze this stuff so much. Like you said, once you're in the real world, none of it matters. Just be content with the fact that you should be more successful than those on the other end of the bell curve
The Nerd
· 1 year ago
No idea what your high school experience was, but High school is important. I am not saying that it completely affects your personalty, but it has a huge effect.
Some Guy
· 1 year ago
After reading this article and a number of the comments, ive gotta wonder- is the world as black and white as you make it out to be where people fit into perfectly stereotypical groups? Couldn't a very intelligent person also be popular and be recognized for their intelligence at the same time? i mean, it would make the world simpler if nerds could blame their lack of popularity on above average intelligence but im not sure this is completely true.
sophie
· 1 year ago
popularity seems like such a big deal where you are, its not really a big deal in the UK; some people here are more popular than others but everyone seems to get on well together. Some smart people are popular and some are not, it depends on their mentality and social skills.
yashamaru
· 1 year ago
Hands down, one of the best articles i've ever read. Cool beyond measure. I can't say i was much of a nerd coming up but i sympathise with a lot of people i knew and was close to who were also smart but couldn't cut it socially because school was unkind to them. When you think about it, they were the brave ones because they didn't sellout like the rest of us.
Alma
· 1 year ago
Very interesting. I do agree with much of what you write. As a university prof. I got a good chuckle out of the Nash comment.
However, I wonder whether you are correct in saying that popularity is unimportant. There was a book called Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, which cited that people who were socially adept were more likely to be successfull in life. (Or something like it....I read this ages ago). I believe the measure for successfull was career/financial, however one could equally define success in terms of happiness.
So, while I think it is important to pursue ones passions, it is perhaps also important to learn social behaviour, depending on what makes one happy. I think I probably sat at the B table in high school (I honestly didn't pay much attention, but I was never persecuted nor did I feel highly popular). I have a PhD, but have lately begun to realize that I would like to further develop my social skills....not only for my own happiness, but also to avoid those faux pas that hurt those around me.
And it isn't an all or nothing affair. I have plenty of free time which I devote to leisure. Sometimes, I know I'm just too lazy and committment phobic to make too many plans with my friends.
So I wonder...whether social skills should be higher up on the list of interests than some of us make it out to be. If it is important "in real life" then why don't more of us care? If is is not important "in real life" then why do popular kids put so much energy into it? Preference for instant gratification? Lack of clear RL goals? Obviously I haven't thought about this as much as you have in your essay, but I think the subject merits further discussion...and perhaps academic publication :)
Cheers.
Jessie
· 1 year ago
I'm Australian, and female, and SO much of what you said here reminded me of my own crummy school experiences. I wish I'd had access to something like this essay when I was in my last couple of years of primary school. (I always though if I could talk to 12 year old me, I'd say "This isn't permanent," and "No, you're NOT being a pessimist for thinking the system is a crock.")
I wound up dropping out at 14: I'd come to resent so much about the institution and what I felt it stood for-- and I got sick of teachers with power trips, the blind conformity and "inmate code" amongst the student population, and like you say-- the pointlessness of it-- that I wound up getting a fulltime job and working in retail for a few years. (And then went to uni as a mature age student-- amusingly enough, I was starting uni the same time as the kids I would have graduated with did.)
So-- thanks for putting it out there, for admitting to the ugliness, and putting some logic to it.
The last section hit a nerve with me, too-- the moment I found out I was pregnant with my first son, I thought, "I don't want him having the same crummy childhood and school experience I did," and one of my greatest fears is that he'll come to hate school as much as I did. I just wish there was some more practical way to get involved to actually change things: it's hard to know where to start.
All the best-- and thankyou.
dafydd longhorn
· 1 year ago
i'm an aussy kid in 9th grade and my school works on the same princibals. "gangsta" kids at top and non-smart nerds at the bottom (there are no smart kids by the way). the gangsta's are only liked by gangstas and the nerds are liked by nerds and some gangsta's. so nerds are actually more popular than the popular kids but no one will admit it. i'm a smart kid who hides intelligence and it works, no one hates me and i can hang out with who ever i want. albeit i used to be unpopular after a bad first impression at my new school and i was an easy target with my name and all.
Ian
· 1 year ago
my good sir you've said it very well!!!! much better than i could've even dreamt it. well i have no long winded response like some of the others on this topic, other than to say i'm in 11th grade and as of yet still have seen no point for school. this essay is genius! thank you for writing it!!!! it got so many points my friends and i have talked babout actually!it's also very late so this comment is barely making sense to me...
John
· 1 year ago
Your essay on Charisma and this one seem to contradict somehow. For example, presidents who are charismatic (and therefore popular) can be smart, too. Per Myers-Briggs, there are introverts and extroverts--and I don't believe these attributes necessarily correlate with intelligence. Per Developmental Psychology, the style with which ones mother nurtured him/her also impacts ones social behavior. I'm learning that personality is quite complex! Your article on Heroes, which upholds those who do not seek approval from others, indicates you are probably an introvert, which is a minority in the US. Though I mostly agree with Alma, it's true that you might be slightly less prolific if you spent more time socializing, so there is risk there. For the introvert, socializing seems frivolous, whereas to an extrovert, nothing is more invigorating and pivotal to ones happiness. Your essays make for fun Sunday reading! Thanks.
AmazingAmanda
· 1 year ago
That's an amazing article. I'm a 15 year old, and it was 100% dead on target. People ostracize smart kids because they feel threatened by them. The fact that someone thinks that their popularity game is pathetic/refuses to play, makes them realize that someone out there thinks they are worthless. Perhaps for "popular" kids they take it as a threat to their way of life. The only way they react, is to lash back.
Catherine
· 1 year ago
I agree with most of your points - one of the best analyzes of a high school I've ever read, but I'll have do disagree with some points.
First thing, I'm one of the most popular kids at my school, and I've also got a MENSA level IQ (but maybe that's because I'm also really pretty). I'm appreciated for both popularity and smarts. I find my social life much more important than grades and studying because, like you've said yourself, "[we] are sent off to spend six years memorizing meaningless facts." Meaningless. Most things you learn at school aren't really applicable in real life, whereas being socially adept is just as important for success in RL as knowledge is (yes, there are socially inept people that have succeeded on knowledge only, but there are also stupid people who have succeeded on charisma only. Most have both, though).
I think social ability, charisma, etc. is very important for sucess in the "real world", pretty much as important as actual knowledge is, and, just like the populars don't give much credit to "book smarts", the nerds don't consider it as important as it is. Socially adept people have more chances of getting jobs because a part of getting it is charming your boss. Presenting yourself and your knowledge in a way that makes you appealing to people is as important as the knowledge itself. They're more likely to get promotions because they can climb their way up the corporate ladder using skills and charisma the way they do it with the social ladder, whereas the less adept one have big chances of being working bees that are underpaid and under appreciated (not saying that it has to happen, or that it generally happens, but there are chances). Also, generally, socially adept people have a bigger circle of friends, a richer social life and are generally happier than less adept ones (at least studies show that).
As a person who plans on graduating in marketing or commercial design (which further proves that popular people do think about their actual careers and the real world, at least the smart ones like me), I'm very aware that, even in RL, there's a lot depending on how you present yourself/your product. The socially able kids are experts at this.
Also, I think popularity depends more on whether you're an extrovert on an introvert - to an introvert, socializing doesn't matter, whereas it's the key to an extrovert's happiness.
Also, I find it odd that, with your very keen analyzing of all the social phenomena in a typical high school, you haven't mentioned intellectual elitism. Some geeks in my school can be just as cruel and elitist as the popular kids. Not all, but some act like they're superior to the rest of us poor mortals because they've got good grades and see how meaningless and worthless the high school's social system is. I've seen a really smart guy constantly humiliating, laughing out and underestimating his best friend in the cruelest of ways because his friend wasn't that smart - he was one of the "stupid" geeks who don't belong anywhere. The same way most populars consider nerds worthless weirdos, some nerds find the populars shallow, worthless and stupid (which most really aren't), and this insults the populars the same way social elitism insults the nerds.
I would really like to discuss this all with you, so, if you want it too, you can send me an e-mail.
The Nerd
· 1 year ago
It appears to me that you seem to be someone higher up the ladder. Yes, you do need a certain level of social activity to be at the top, but you also need a brain. If you are what you say you are then you must be on of a kind because the average popular kid specializes in rap music, what they are going to wear, and can be found in the average classes or in a bottom grade college
You cant always get your way through life sweet talking people.
And about the nerds insulting the popular kids, "All is fair in love and war"
Daz The Automator
· 1 year ago
This seems like a rather bitter memory of your teenage years. The problem I find with nerds is that many of them have a disgusting air of superiority about them. It's as if they realise they are socially retarded and unpopular, and then try to console themselves by thinking they are smarter than everbody else. To quote: "To them the thought of average intelligence is unbearable." These nerds may not be of exceptionally high intelligence themselves, but they work harder at school etc. to prove to themselves that they ARE worth something. This can be proven by the fact that most 'high-performing' nerds are also highly competitive. They tend to rate themselves against the academic achievements of others, and can often be seen in the corner of the classroom discussing test scores with other nerds. I think that if they were truly intelligent then they wouldn't feel the need to project this 'smart image' to everybody else, they would just be content to be intelligent in their own head. The smartest people I know have zero attitude, that's why they are my friends.and there's nothing worse than an arrogant nerd. Nerds are unpopular because they are no fun to hang out with, period. It's not to do with jealousy, or being ugly, or bad at sport etc etc (insert other lame excuses here). Nobody minds if you enjoy reading encyclopedias in your spare time, just don't think you're special for doing so. Perhaps try to work on your personality...and have more fun!
Zombie
· 1 year ago
I must disagree with you Daz. I don't think you were a nerd in high school. In the eight grade I was sick of being smart (due to the whole popularity thing) I began not caring about school, getting lower scores, and gaining absolutely no friends. I went through a depression that has irreversibly changed my life. Not that I don't appreciate the change, it's just attempting suicide twice isn't a very good way to get there. So if you feel that in high school someone like me felt superior to you, it was only because I saw the world in a different light. I have virtually no morals and don't consider death to be a negative change but a positive one. I am atheist and believe that when you die there is nothing. Absolute nothing. It is the most peaceful thing I can possibly imagine and long for, but I will not cheat to get there. people like me can't have fun more because we don't have anybody to have fun with. So, like I said, I don't think you were a nerd in high school.
a
· 1 year ago
Zombie, I think it's obvious that you care a lot about popularity. I think you'd be happier and have a better outlook on life if you improved your social abilities and made some friends. As other comments have said, developing meaningful relationships is as important, if not more so, than focusing on making your way in the world.
Actually, I kind of feel bad for you and others who have posted comments. I too had a grade school full of some mean-spirited kids and unfortunately, I had a strong sense of justice and went to the aid of a really unpopular, put-open kid. But my high school has an entrance exam and admits mostly at least marginally smart kids. So it's easier to relate to a lot of people and has a nicer atmosphere. There' s only a handful of designated nerdy kids and even those kids aren't really given a hard time. So I hope that things go better for you and anyone else have difficulties socially.
Zombie
· 1 year ago
I appreciate the feed back... a? I have fine social abilities and friends but many people that I used to know completely deny my existence. I guess that is also where part of my depression came from and drove me to become a different person. as far as having a better outlook on life it is about as good as it's gonna get and to quote myself "I went through a depression that has irreversibly changed my life". There is no way for me to go back and I don't really want to seeing things the way I do now. Depression isn't the same when you know how to interpret it into something positive and meaningful to yourself or possibly someone else. It's not that I have difficulties socially its that some people never had to go through anything like that, leaving virtually nobody to have a conversation about these things with (except Melissa who I love dearly (like a sister if she reads this)). And if you couldn't tell I'm depressed right now ( I found this site by going to Google and typing in "why?" like I was going to get some intelligible response from a Boolean search engine! ) but I'm not exactly sure why. So if I was a tad bitchy to you a then I am truly and most sincerely sorry.
A Nerd Trying to change his HS
· 1 year ago
I believe that you touched on some very great points. I think the main difference between nerds and the "cool kids" is that we nerds realize that what we are doing to actually pertains to real life. Im an A/B student and I only am because I know that with good grades makes a good life. I guess you could call me crazy buy calling me a nerd is a compliment. Most major (and wealthy with a good life) people were nerds in high school. While they can be typing numbers in a cubicle, I can be doing things that make a difference and enjoy it too.
rob
· 1 year ago
I realy agree to waht you said about teenagers not being able to function together with out sukpervison:) :):):):):):):0
physics!!!
· 1 year ago
That was an absolutely amazing essay! You had some really good points in there, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Brilliant! Being a 14 year old nerd, I now understand why I have never been popular.
Cheers.
Felix
· 1 year ago
This is not just America, I live in the UK and it works exactly the same over here
b
· 1 year ago
Everything you wrote is entirely true. I live in Australia and it's exactly the same over here. I can't wait until it's all over. If it's the same in university- I'm screwed.
First they rip you off for being smart. Then the word "smart" is substituted with "spock". Then they think you're an uptight goody-too-shoes because you don't have a boyfriend and don't go to parties. Truth is, I'm never invited to parties. And don't you meet boys at parties? And then you're "weird" because nobody bothered to get to know you in the first place. So over it.
nerdo
· 1 year ago
happened 2 me 2.......
ben
· 11 months ago
dont worry mate, it does get better at uni. intelligence is important there. (speaking from experience). like the author said, high school is a society whose rules are created by children, and children are brutal thugs. chimpanzees honestly. the wider world is ruled by adults and being an asshole has real consequences, which is why the problems of high school tend to disappear after high school. hang in there. i really started to enjoy life at uni, sounds like the same for you. just keep your head down and try to ignore the apes in the mean time. in a few years they'll be mopping the floor in your office.
teh
· 11 months ago
great answer. you pretty much summed up the whole essay
b
· 1 year ago
Daz the Automator: You seriously have no idea.
jusr another lost dude
· 1 year ago
heh..... i googled "why" too.... i didnt expect to find anything worth while....
fortunately (i guess), i didnt have to go through any... well MOST of that... my parent put me in a home school deal when i got into the 6th grade. but.... i donno about home school im happy i dont have to put up with any of that bull (i might qualify as a freak but with out the drugs) i dont think i could handle it... someone would have either ended up hurt or dead if i had to put up with that. but on the other hand when ur not (for lack of a better word) forced to "go to school" its like whats the point? my dad has already told me to my face that its bs. so im left here standing at the fork in the road with like 70 somethin credits to go... and ive been stalling for like a year now... im kinda surprised i havent been kicked out already.... i want to graduate... im GOING to graduate... but for what? so can work at Burger King? i was blessed enough to find what i want to do really early in life but... this... this piece of friggin paper (and another one of course) MIGHT just determine wether or not i will achieve what i want... at any rate... i hope this bs is fixed b4 i have kids.....
oh right! awesome essay XD
james
· 1 year ago
well i live in canada and its not true here kids get to do what they want to do no social tables or any of this bs
flook
· 1 year ago
i live in canada and when i went to high school 1 year ago we had social tables
nerdo
· 1 year ago
great! i liked it but u didnt mention ways 2 be + popular
nerdo
· 1 year ago
good thing about being a "nerd" is you understand quickly and can do what u want while teacher repeats all over again.
thenikitainator
· 1 year ago
OH WOW.. well.. i was trying to find out why the writing for my zodiac sign on my myspace profile.. was different to all the other answers... so in desperation... i typed in why?>! in google.. and this is what i got!!
hahha most funniest thing in my life!
BLACKINATOR
· 1 year ago
okay though... but being serious...
i'l use terms so ppl can't find me and get me =|
okayy.. so lets say that i go to this school... we'll call it...
Aardvark's Academy for raccoons...
so im at this school right...
and.. i have lots of friends.. and we dont have tables for seperating the popular and unpopular... and we aren't mean to them or anything.
and we're the most popular group.. but.. i am not dumb.. and most my friends are actually pretty bright.
and we are in the advance classes... and we're in the smartgirls maths team.
so... i'd say.. students at aardvark's accedemy for raccoons... aren't one to discriminate :)
raccoon4life <3
· 1 year ago
lol at the person below.. haha who i no XD yeah ! hahaha nerds... i love them. hahahaha oh except for a kid in my class.... lol
Good Stuff
· 1 year ago
wow. this is a very informative and very true article. I agree with almost all points and I think that the adult world is very much different from the high school world, but in some ways similar. I myslef am a geek, but am friends with alot of the "popular' people in my high school, and while it's not good to be a geek, my personal mix is helpful in my self-esteem at school because I can think for myself, while having my ideas listened to.
Nerd 4 life
· 12 months ago
Too true . If we could just be ignored we would have alot more esteem
DeepcreekXC
· 12 months ago
Good point. However, I don't believe all schools are like this. Take my school, Mount Saint Joseph. Yes, us smart kids sit together, but we're not bullied, and even, I feel, have a bit of cachet from being on top of the academic heap. Maybe this has something to do with the vast ammount of homework we recieve, which challenges kids to compete academically. When some kids do well in school, it actually means something, and plays into the hierarchy. Furthermore, when kids need help they can ask smart kids for help, also playing into the hierarchy. Another effect may be the ammount of sports kids play. When a smart kid plays a sport, even if they suck, they still gain respect from playing. Sports create a hierarchy that benefits all involved.
Chris
· 12 months ago
This is a truly fascinating essay.
potatocubed
· 12 months ago
And there I was thinking that I was the only person who saw this. Now I have to find some other way to be inconclastic. =P
sarav
· 12 months ago
You really have showed great insight.
Callum
· 11 months ago
Im from england and have been thinking these things for a long time, like how pointless school is. Its really wierd seeing my thoughts so eloquently written (i dunno how you spell that), this is a genius essay
Aah
· 11 months ago
this is so stereotyped and the facts sound like they were sourced from high schools two hundred years ago
F S
· 11 months ago
Posted this on my blog years ago, and still am amazed to this day. by this article.
AAA
· 11 months ago
thank you, you are a genius and have put it into perspective for me, maybe i dont want to be popular as much as being smart counts. You are right, and its made me happy to know that being smart counts far more than being popular especially when i have grown up
George
· 11 months ago
This is the ten commandments for nerds. The information was delivered shrewdly and was not another article that just said that nerds are unpopular in school because the popular kids envy them. I am 13 and in the 95 percentile according to ITBS ( i got 99 in reading and social Studies and a 97 in science but I sucked at math back then so it lowered me). This is exactly what is going on in schools and i have seen it from a a first-person perspective. Just stand strong and ignore what other people say. It is amazing how critical kids are. I am the best soccer player at my school(not exaggerating i played on one of the top teams in the state and no one comes close to me) did cross country, was last cut for the Basketball team, was a awarded the Presidential fitness award and even from unathletic kids who are popular call me a nerd just for being smart. I am also nice to and have no social blunders. Its sad how kids just can't get over someone being smart. Thanks for the article, it was profound in every way and i hope that others get motivation from it.
Ms. Herr / @MsHerr
· 11 months ago
Note: Telling the popular kids "I can't help it if I'm smart" does not make you any cooler!
A/C
· 11 months ago
Where I come from smart kids from my cohort (including me (roughly the top 1%)) where placed into a special stream. This, though I didn't notice at that time, instantly doomed us to a life of getting shunned and be called nerd-freaks. This article has been insightful and has helped me understand my predicament
THEDEADkubacroft
· 11 months ago
i think that nerds should be at the top, i mean where do ps3's and xboxes come from? they come from nerds! so why need be popular when thy could be smart? the thing at our school is that most smart kids commit suicide because the bullies bullied them all the time without a break. i was a WEIRDO not a nerd, they thought i was weak in everyway. they went flying in the air , when i used aikido on the little fuckers, the nerds hang out with me now for protection and i hang out with them to get better scores. the next year a kid about 30 cm smaller then me started to bully me and made friends with the bullies thinking they are the gods of the world. after half a year, at lunch i was playing conkers with my best friends the *bully* came from no-where and took the conker out of my hand and through it at concrete(it broke), then he punched me in the belly i told him i didnt feel no pain so he punched me in the face i ducked and punched, then i was attacked by his mates i did aikido moves on them and they went flying, just at the time when i was doing my aikido on the fuckers the teachers came and told me off and i was taken to the headmaster.
the story ends here, now bye as by the time i am reading this i am probably lying in a pile of blood. if you ever see a person called connor singer, please punch him in a place i will never be able to use.
Bye Bye,
Shane
· 11 months ago
I'm a seventeen year-old living in Ireland who finished secondary school last June, and I really enjoyed reading this.
I'm not quite sure that "nerds" are as stigmatised here as they seem to be in America, and people's whole concept of "nerdiness" (in a school context) here is quite vague and seems to derived from its depictions on American TV.
I was bullied quite a bit when I was in school, but that was pretty confined to the time period that I think is roughly equivalent to middle school in the US (maybe a year ealier). In my last few years of secondary school, the people around me seemed very approachable and I got on with them quite well. Certainly the notion of "popularity" stopped being important at the age of 14 or 15... though I get the impression that isn't the same in all-girls schools (I went to an all-boys one). The average secondary school here is also a lot smaller here (as far as I know), which may be a factor too.
I don't think I ever really felt trapped in school - it never felt like school was all there is to life. More precisely I suppose, it never felt that the barbaric society that existed inside school (which, at least for me as I explained above, didn't feel as barbaric as made out in this essay) was the primary society that I was a part of.
I didn't have any real friends in school (though there were people who I'd get on well with) - but I had many good friends (who I still have) outside of school. Initially, a lot of them were people who I had met and who I'd talk to online. There were a couple of online communities (of other nerds) that I felt a part of - I learnt a lot from them and it made me feel like I had a purpose (writing code, essentially) that was more meaningful than school.
However, when I was 13, I made a whole new set of friends who I knew in real life and became much closer to - at a thing called CTYI. Basically, it's a programme that takes the smartest 13-16 year-olds in Ireland and gets them to live on campus in DCU together for three weeks while they study something they find interesting. While I didn't have a lot in common with the people I met there in the sense that the friends I made weren't necessarily into computers, I was still able to have intelligent conversations with them. I was able to get to know them in a real way, and it really shaped who I am today.
The whole experience (which continues even after the three weeks are over - people who know each other through CTYI invariably meet up in town on a Saturday (Ireland is small enough and has a decentish enough public transport system that it's possible for teenagers from everywhere in the country to meet in the centre of Dublin on a Saturday)) just felt so far removed from what school was like that school just didn't seem important once I had experienced it. This feeling seems to be pretty universal among CTYIers, and I honestly don't know what I'd be like right now were it not for CTYI.
I know that there's CTY in America, but I don't know many people end up going to it. Certainly for the nerds that are aware of CTYI in Ireland (and it isn't as widely known as it should be - my school never said anything about it, I discovered it by chance), it takes a lot of the misery out of being a nerd in school. It makes you feel so happy to be a nerd because you know that the non-nerds who look down on you couldn't possibly have a life as fulfilling as you do, or friends as good you do.
So those are just my experiences - as for your criticism of the school system as a whole: I completely agree. I remember saying things along the lines of what you said in that essay to my English teacher last year when explaining why I was never able to motivate myself enough to do English homework... but it would still take me years before I would be able to express those thoughts as eloquently and clearly as you've done. Thank you so much for writing this - I can't wait to show it to people who I think it would help, because I would never have been able to express those thoughts as well as you've done.
fart
· 11 months ago
hi
Anon
· 11 months ago
I'm a ten year-old attending a British international school in Thailand.
I feel that nerds are equal as everybody else. It's just that nobody seems to notice nerds because they seem to think that even though nerds are quite intelligent, they are not physically attractive, not being popular (which is a problem for me) and other reasons like that.
Other people don't seem to pay attention to nerds because nerds have different habits to other people. For example, some more popular and stronger people tend to play sports where nerds settle for less physical habits such as READING, or typing which is what I'm doing right now. What I'm trying to say is nerds' habits are mental, and other people's habits are physical.
I would wish that everybody was a nerd. That way, we can all be equal - there would be no ups and no downs.
boats46
· 11 months ago
not all nerds are unattractive
Dvz
· 11 months ago
Gaming unites us all. Online gaming makes things like minute details on clothing, or what kind of music to like obsolete. Reading this thank god I found it. I honestly believe it's made me more tolerant, but I knew that before this article, looking at some of the types at my university. I'm 19 now.
ff
· 11 months ago
That is not THE reason you are playing any games, right? Or maybe it is, watch out for it not taking too much of your time.
boats46
· 11 months ago
plus video games aren't going to get you a life like billy mays MIGHTY PUTTY
Anon.
· 11 months ago
Wow. This is truly inspirational. I'm glad to see there is hope for me yet. And I've just barely begun my secondary education. :) I wouldn't say I'm a "D", though haha. Maybe a B-. :) This is exactly what I'm going through and you're right: Teenagers nowadays are downright barbaric. They work around the clock to be popular....and for what? They're caught up in petty squabbles, Myspace, who is dating who, and conforming. Honestly, it makes me gag. Most of the so-called "popular" people a my school wouldn't understand this essay at all; let alone the word 'albeit'. Bill Gates once said that bullies should be nice to nerds becuase nerds will be their bosses one day. I think that has a lot of truth.
For me Honors courses have been like heaven. Having a support system (in which the members are of the same age) has done amazing things for me because never before have I met kids who are so similar to myself. Friends who recognize that doing well in school and learning all we can is more important than trying to climb the social ladder. I'm not saying we don't have fun, but the party only starts after we've done our homework. lol. Other kids call us tame or prudes (which is true, in a way) but in reality it's just called being smart. 'nuff said. :)
Anyway, thanks for writing this - I can't wait to forward this to some of my friends who this could really help out.
boats46
· 11 months ago
you have a good vocab
Anon
· 11 months ago
Thanks for replying, lol.
Anon Thailand
A
· 11 months ago
Well...to be honest, the school that I went to for high school was the opposite. I found that the meanest and snobbiest were the nerds. They were also far from popular either.
I took a few honours classes and a few regular classes. I was treated with more respect (and had more friends) in those regular classes who had average/popular students
Asoka
· 11 months ago
Hi i'm 18 and i'm from Colombia. I take pride on saying our educational system doesn't rely so much on popularity issues, maybe because in a strict sense of words we're given a purpose for being in school, maybe because its easier to feel the real world when it comes to haunt you at your door. Anyway, i also knew the cases depicted here, despite not being persecuted, smart kids were the saddest, their lifes being the most miserable, hopefully, most of us got together (i mean with all kids in school). Maybe because of the problems bleeding our country, we taught ourselves it was more important to survive altogether than to try to make more enemies
Great essay :D
Teddy Katana
· 11 months ago
With all the budget cuts for schools, the country isn't thinking much about education. Keep the people stupid and they can be easily misled to go broke on a bunch of nothing.
Alex
· 11 months ago
You are perhaps the wisest person I have read this century. Every sentence, every paragraph, was right, down to the last detail. Excellent essay!
Karina
· 11 months ago
I can completely agree with you ! Its like you're outside a cave looking in and there's so many people inside this cave and only you outside of it and while you and your pair of eyes are looking in and wondering why that world in there is so the dark, a million eyes are staring at you back wondering the same thing about yours.
Teddy Katana
· 11 months ago
People think too much about whats going on in a group, and vice versa. So much time is wasted, rather than just going with the flow, getting a good education, and so forth. If you notice with the people that generally think about everything else but their education, they end up working at a minimum wage job. There just needs to be a little cool calm and collected swag added to a geeks palette and they should be good to go.
Teddy Katana
· 11 months ago
This is nicely written. There is a lack of social skills on both sides of the spectrum (one may seem better than the other, but its not), bullies, cruelty, lack of intellect all tend to be a role, etc. Confidence plays a killer role too, but also if you don't care about a scale in scale in school, you won't be a part of it. Have some type of interaction with someone though so that you aren't robot-like.
I associated with who I wanted to associate with, whether they were geek'ish, cheer'tators, athletes, etc. No one should ever feel ashamed about actually doing school work, and getting good grades. No one hated on me when I got my work done, cause it doesn't make or break the way you dress, the way you look and if no one is buying your clothes, it really doesn't matter what they say (right?). Although i've seem some very off the wall outfits, if its you, do you, confidence just might add a little fire to it (FIYA!).
For the so called geeks though (people have names, there are enough titles in the world) it pissed me off to see someone bothering them in class, and the teacher, making money to teach doesn't intervene (it blows). So at times i'd find myself damn near about to get in trouble for saying something, because the teacher wants to come at me, rather than actually doing their damn jobs. Don't be scared of the damn teachers either, if you are being bothered in their class, put them on blast with your parents, and the office.
Things shouldn't be ignored, and I can't lie, I didn't want to be in a class where a kid lost it, and shot up the whole room. LOL
Gavriel
· 11 months ago
I finally understand the reasons for my behavior as an "outsider", as I have been called.
Prathik Raj
· 11 months ago
You are smart! (:
liakias
· 11 months ago
Great essay! Nearly everyhing you say is a thought-provoking and incisive comment about the state of educational hierarchies. The point about the problems deriving from a lack of work are especially true: the problem is universal. Hadrian's Wall and to some extent The Great Wall of China were ordered by emperors to stop their armies mutineeing- they were simply too busy. American teenagers seem to have no meaning and find trivial ones.
Attending an English secondary school, I can only recommend some traditional measures to help nerds. We have a lower standard of 'nerddom' and having schools graded on academic intelligence gives a meaning to school life. From my experience, school doesn't seem merely a prison for children, or why else would governments spend so much on educaton? However, schools do house children so adults can work etc. Though it is easier to be popular, here some nerds do manage to 'play the game' and compete with the 'jocks', often outdoing them with a superior sense of humour, which is used to devastating effect in amoral insults. So, nerds in America need to either learn to use humour and be socially accepted (though the British stress on humour may make this easier in Britain), or (preferably), American society should intervene to separate the intelligent from those obsessed with popularity and introduce traditional academic standards to provide a purpose to schooling. Finally, the adoration of sporting success (which is useless to human progress) and the focus on shallow values of appearance, slang (retards etc.) and 'gangsta' disrespect must be stopped, by tighter controls on child accessibility if necessary. Ignorance, violence and conformist rebellion are the virtues of teen culture and this must change to prevent bullying, abuse, misery, suicide and school killings. Villifying intelligence is contrary to nearly every society in history and only by forcing teens to be nice and limiting the influences negative role models can decent, hardworking teens grow up living in intellectual and social freedom and equality instead of the Stalinist terror of a social elite.
maddy
· 11 months ago
i agree that they make problems 4 there sleves but thats there way of finding meaning in there life why live a life that changes nothing in the world. i dont think popular and intellagent should be seperate causethey will still sudivide and even worse the nerd will start acting like the popular ones to the other nerds. personally i would perfer a bone head bully than an evil genis.it will never change think of it as the finding someway to charateris and make sense of there peers like we classify animals its just how we identify them.
braktos
· 10 months ago
By humor in America, liakas, you mean insinuating that someone is homosexual or that you had sex with their mother, or that they are mentally inept. Here's a basic rule for true kid societies, it's a caste system, the position you first had there determines what you are, and if you weren't there from the beginning, you will automatically be on the bottom.
maddy
· 11 months ago
sorry i only read the start but how i see it is there is the bad asses and the nerds the there r the popular people aka popular in my mind is likeable nice(all good nothing to complain about) and also sadly push over and sometimes a inside wannabe then there r the bad asses who secretly everyone wants 2 be cause they reckon its cool to pretend to not care who stand by there opions which gets them into regular fights (this makes the popular crew think there being cruel to be cool and like lemmings follow)then there r the nerds socially off because there ve only ever had there wits 2 depend on and shy cause they over think things and teased because socaity think there needs to be losers to be winners. but really this is probberly a load of bull shit
· 10 months ago
Learn proper spelling and grammar and then your opinion might carry some weight.
Soraya
· 11 months ago
Ah, secondary school, how I loathe thee... let me count the ways--
I was a nerd and an outcast in school, either actively bullied or ignored. I didn't even fit in well with the other outcasts in my school. I think part of the problem was due to the simple fact that I'm... well... odd. I somehow seemed older and younger at the same time than everyone else. I had my idealistic, revolutionary phase (which comes to most people in college) as a sophomore in high school and my constant prattle about the importance of reproductive rights (among other things) , gun control and habeas corpus baffled most of my classmates. I might as well have been speaking Tagalog.
Ah well. I suppose we live and learn.
Anon
· 10 months ago
I've not even done with primary school, so I'm kind of un-updated with the nerd concept.
Can someone help me with the "nerd" problem?
carl
· 10 months ago
My god you go on and on and on... you get so analitical - like a nerd
braktos
· 10 months ago
Up yours ignorant barbarian.
RistUmahali
· 10 months ago
Only a nerd would read this whole thing, like me :D. Well in my opinion I thought this was a very good and well written article and straight to the truth.
Amy
· 10 months ago
Wow, this was very well written, congratulations. I totally agree with you, the things that nerds have to go through are horrible. I've hanged out with the popular kids all my life, i'm in the cheerleading squad, so i don't really know how it is to be a nerd, but i can imagine how they must feel. My friends pick on the unpopular kids all the time, but i could never do what they do, i don't like hurting people. But i disagree with the fact that popular kids can't be smart. Most of the popular kids at my school are very interested in studying, and have great grades.
braktos
· 10 months ago
Get your friends in line, and try to see if they would be receptive to hanging out with smart guys. I know a very pterry cheerleader that hangs out with all groups. She says that what I say scares her sometimes, so I guess its fear. Associate with the feare object to master it.
Madeline Green
· 10 months ago
i am a nerd and i like em'. who wants to go out with me???????????
Carlos
· 10 months ago
wow. that was beautiful and so true
Anon
· 10 months ago
I have one word on that article - Beautiful.
mitch
· 10 months ago
hi there,very interesting article indeed,,john lennon wrote a song that points out a few things thats you say,,,the song is called working class hero,,, it states in the song that when at school hate you if your clever and despise a fool,,such very true words,,im uk by the way
Anon
· 10 months ago
I'd say smart people created the internet and popular people like to use the internet.
So, smart people could turn off the internet, then where would MySpace or FaceBook be!
So that means popular people are at the mercy of smart people.
Anon
· 10 months ago
Why can't popular people just accept that nerds are equal to them?
aa
· 10 months ago
shut up, stupid!
just kidding:)
.
· 10 months ago
That was a really amazing article. I can confirm a lot of your points. I'm an exchange student at an American High School right now, so I have it easier to compare things to conditions in other countries. I never saw a school before with such a high importance of "being popular".
Matt
· 10 months ago
Perfectly said.
Aj
· 10 months ago
Very well written. =)
Popular people can be smart though.
teacher
· 10 months ago
This is a very perceptive rant. I use it in my class on the topic of socialization.
Nerd
· 10 months ago
This article opened my eyes. I myself am a nerd but not just a nerd I'm an intelligent nerd. Two of my best friends,basically my only friends,strongly disagree that they are classified as a nerd. This classification is not mine. It is popular student's classification. In my opinion I think they are very "cool" (if cool could actually be defined). I think being intelligence has a large role in popularity. If a smart kid engaged in conversation with a popular kid most of the time the smart kid will use words that popular kids don't understand. These words are not words that ,as the article puts it, are "right" to them. Popular kids pick on nerds because they are outcasts. To them being smart is alien to them because they group with people that are the same as them. I'm also in junior high. For me it's seventh grade not eighth grade for 12 and 13- year- olds. I need to stop there even though I have much more to say. I almost comepletely agree with this article.
bob
· 10 months ago
get a life. cunt.
Shaun
· 10 months ago
I agree with a few of the points in this article but during my time at high school in Australia I knew many "popular" kids that were also quite smart. One guy I can think of in particular came to our school about halfway through and went straight to the top of the "popularity chain" within a matter of his first day and also managed to get top marks in every class he was in. Maybe our school was just an exception but I can also think of many nerds that were not that smart and you wondered how they ended up with the title. I think that the meaning of the word "nerd" has changed from an intelligent individual to an unpopular one. I think that It does depend on what kind of environment your raised in and how your parents act toward others. You also mentioned being popular is a 24/7 hour job with many aspects of everyday life to consider, from what to wear to how to act towards your peers. I think this may be the case at first but after a while it would just become natural. It would be like breathing we all do it but we don't have to concentrate on it.
me
· 10 months ago
i'm smart and not popular. You can't be both popular and smart. You're wrong that smart people don't try and you're wrong about elementary school. in elementary school people do care. it's where the outcasts develop. the outcasts are identified in elementary school and they can't get away from the lable. nerds try harder than anyone for a while, but when it doesn't work they just give up, so they keep the label forever.
braktos
· 10 months ago
In emo's terms, it's pointless. I went to a summer camp with pretty much no adult supervision at all. Yes, there were counselers, but they did nothing except run the activities. There was this one guy who's real name is Thomas Umbricht, or is was Thomas Umbrich. Either way, he is the biggest asswipe I have ever met. He made fun of anyone who was smaller than him. It wasn't funny or good humored like when a group of familiar guys go at it in high school, it was meant to humiliate and to destroy. He threatened to kill me and pointed a knife at me. No matter what he did, I ended up being the bad guy and he was liked by everyong his size or bigger. If I met him against, I would kill him torturously. He didn't even have the decency to leave the eight year olds alone. Once this fucker beat me up in from of some people in line, and no one cared. Bottom line, smart/introverted people always end up being the bitches in a who gives a shit society with no real authority or sound basis. Letting kids have at it creates problems, look at what happened at Columbine. If there is no real objective, people will create one. Nazis in the beginning had no real objective, they were just a bunch of thugs who banded together. They picked on people they perceived as problems. When WW2 broke out, they had real enemies, but overcentralization caused internal problems. You need an authority, a purpose, and clear rules. The authority needs to be mildly strong enought to prevent real factionization, because humans are essentially tribal. There are little groups everywhere. Look at even a small setting like say, a scout troupe. There's still about 5 groups minimum out of like 20 kids. People always factionalize, and every group needs something to separate it, and the groups mostly have a common crux, superiority over someone who is generally disliked, such as the smart kids or the introverted free thinker. Seriously, There are gods and clods, and they are an inevitable byproduct of a social existance. I am the clod, and the guys I was talking about in my other post are the gods. The gods exist because the clods exist, and the reverse is true for the clods, so stratification is a necessity of any society.
mob
· 10 months ago
fuc nerds
UNKOWN
· 10 months ago
Lol i am a "A" student am going to Harvord University and to be really popular you have to be in lots of events and join activities and just try to do as much as you can like a join the basketball team or hockey or football teams and take band and French or Spanish .etc and be confident and believe in yourself to look good and be happy think positive still be smart you will be more popular then anyone in the future when you grow up and do something great. like invent something or find the cure for a disease. Also be physically active but then when you do all this you dont have much time at the end of the day. But you see those kids always partying not caring about their homework later in their life they will be depressed and it will be hard for them because they don't have good jobs like you kids the smart ones. CHOOSE your classes carefully dont bother taking a stupid one like cooking or band or that not like you gonna be a musician and you wasted your time cooking a damn pizza! Make sure they all like make one job dont do physics and cooking and computer stuff if you wanna be a doctor!!! BUT HIGHSCHOOL ISNT ALL YOU GOT COLLEGE!!!! AND UNIVERSITY!!! dont spend so much money save it all for education and be really fuckin suprised cuz im in the 7th damn grade and havent BEENto highschool and im gonna enjoy elelmentery as i can cuz highschool my life gonna change and i wont be such a little kid anymore!!! and puberty made my voice really low and tough like lets see MASTER CHIEF AND IF U A SUPER NERD GOD DONT PLAY VIDEO GAMES DO HOMEWORK!!!!! AMERICA FUCK YEAH!!!! just kidding usa sucks Canada eh?
brad
· 10 months ago
nurds are gay
DO IT!!!
· 10 months ago
YOU AMERICANS WTF IS A FRESHMAN AND WHAT WRONG WITH ONE? ALSO WHY YALL KILLIN EACHOTHER AND FIGHTIN? PEACE!!!!!!!!!!! peace out- Atown ASSASINATE OBAMA!!!!!!! no dont hes a good president for the us your healthcare would be oh verry fine just that YOU REALIZE YOU USA FIX YOUR FUCKIN ECONOMY FAST YOUR FUCKIN IT UP FOR THE REST OF THE WORLD ENOMOMY!!! WASTE YOUYR MONEY BUY STUFF BUY NEW CARS from gm dodge chevy .etc Sure healthcare will be fine but taxes up the roof!!!!! FIX IT OBAMA PLEASE!!!!!! i hope your grannys in hell!!! McCain wouldve made a war in Middle-east countries and bomb em`
me
· 10 months ago
its important to note the idea that some people decide being popular is not worth pursuing. doing your best to understand the world and contribute requires time spent outside competitive social circles. the popularity game tends to be a waste of time and counter-productive when striving for a greater good. of course there are a lot of definitions for "nerd". another article talks about the ineffectiveness of written language.
Vinesh
· 10 months ago
This is my understanding, you might find it interesting:
The dominant or the Alpha male is the one who reacts the least to any situation. You can notice this in conversations too.
The reason is simply that responding does not show a lack of self security but reacting does, if something makes you react, it shows your security and assured self-worth was challenged for you to act out of accord by reacting to a particular scenario.
To put it in a more elaborate fashion:
The athletes, good looking guys, etc over a period of time get a lot of validation from external sources.
For example, when I dress up and go out, people often stare which gives me a lot of self-assurance and gets my identity validated.
Similarly, the 'jocks' get themselves validated by people for a period of time so they automatically assume the alpha role in a scenario when they talk to someone who does not impress them or exhibits a higher amount of self worth than them.
People seek validation primarily from potential mates, secondarily from seniors.
Athletes enjoy both to a good extent Good looking guys enjoy the former to a great extent While Nerds enjoy the later in a moderate extent.
The movies where the nerds and geeks are tooled don't do much to add to their self worth.
So the question arises, what do the nerds do to enjoy popularity?
I disagree entirely on the article's basis on 'dropping a few scores and working on popularity' infact that would be counter productive if not else.
The key behind any sort of dominance is to be proud of what you are doing, the nerd has to be fascinated with his work and ideals, he has to be like 'I AM A NERD! YEAH!' if you get my point.
Females are very likely to follow lead of Alpha males, Alpha are not necessarily a physical group but more of a 'less reactive, more assured' group.
The idea behind it is simply being instinctive in life, If you feel like being a nerd when you are a jock, you are likely to be a beta male despite being a 'jock'
Because if you are fascinated with something else, you will probably react to it, you will probably have less confidence in your current position.
Its simple: When you are following your passions, you are doing just what you are fascinated with and that *personal validation* automatically generates a public validation leading to the 'alpha role'
to sum it up short: Do what you want to do and be proud of it.
This is the only thing that makes an alpha male.
You must have noted similar examples when hot chicks often have ugly dudes as mates.
L
· 10 months ago
This article is not referring only to males. Females do not always follow anyone. Nowhere in the article did it state this. Don't assume.
Ryan
· 10 months ago
fuck you you fucking nerd! The reason that you and many other nerds are nerds, is that you are not "popular" Just kidding, you make a great point, i enjoyed exploring the thought of this essay and would like to thank the nerd that made it possible for me to read this and for the nerds that created computers and websites and shit. oh yea bob is right you seem to be quite CUNTISH in nature, maybe that is why you are a nerd!!!
chizzy
· 10 months ago
i'm popular but i'm not smart though lol but the only reason i'm on here is because i'm bored and btw there are lots of poeple in my grade that r smart and popular and there r like some mager weirdos but still that story is so fake seems like stuff that only happens in movies
Ali
· 10 months ago
I would have to agree with your analysis that public schools (and especially at the junior high and high school level) function primarily as a prison, except for a handful of students who actually benefit from the hierachy. A question that is as equally important as why nerds are unpopular, however, is why public schools in the U.S. function as prisons.
A few thoughts: 1. Students have no choice over their course of study, the timing of their classes, or their teachers. They do, however, have a large degree of choice when it comes to electives. Thus, someone can choose to join the football team or band or choir, or not. Being given the choice makes it much more likely that you'll actually want to invest time in that discipline. 2. There is a significant anti-intellectual streak in this country that is not necessarily present elsewhere. In other countries, chess champions, authors, and artists are often as highly respected (or not more so) as sports heroes and entrepreneurs. In a country where the (former) President thinks that reading is a waste of time and where the Super Bowl is the most watched event of the year, it should come as no surprise that teenagers look down upon bookworms and look up to the high school quarterback. 3. Sometimes nerds really are just bad at interpersonal communication, especially in junior high and high school. Many of them get better at it with age and experience, but some of them never really come out of their little shell. Luckily for this minority, those who continue to be antisocial in some aspects either don't care or learn to be social in artificially constructed worlds, such as online gaming communities, etc... 4. Most of the adults I know actually think geek culture is cool, and this includes the females, who are much more attracted to geeks than to jocks. So as you point out, the message to nerds should be that their prospects for hooking up with women improve as they age....provided they actually make the effort to go up and actually converse with the opposite sex from time to time.
Thanks for your thoughtful essay. If only more students had the opportunity to read it!
15 yr old
· 10 months ago
I have to agree with you on the fact that middle school is the worst time in a kid's life because they can see all the things going on around them as a way to live and get caught up in the unimportant rituals of popularity. Unfortunately, kids at this age are not mature enough to understand how pointless it is. When you get to high school though, you can start to realize how pointless popularity is. My advice to teenagers would be to learn all you can but to have fun doing it--meaning that one should not focus on trivial matters of popularity. Find something that you want or want to do, and try to do that.
h
· 10 months ago
amazing stuff, and so true
Cesar
· 10 months ago
i have something to say to this , you say if your popular your cant be smart is that correct ? well let me point somethings out , if you really want something bad enough to strive to obtain it , & me being in the perdicament that imean icant say idont know what its like for a nerd because ido, maybe not in the same way or in the same likes or dislikes , but think about what your saying . iunderstand where it goes & im not saying your wrong at all , but why generalize what you seem is to be an opnion more than a fact ? ipersonally always wanted to be popular & isee how much it changes lives & how things really work , but im just as smart as a "nerd" & just as popular as a jock . ido play sports , but ihavent in highschool , ilook good yea thats truee , ihave a sense of knowing what to say & how to say more than half the time , but at the same time im just a kidd , im a junior & irealzied freshman year when all this started that being popular isnt all that , thats what i understand about your article but , ihave a 3.9 gpa & im ranked 35 out of the 551 juniors in my school , ibrag about my grades all the time & even though that sounds irrational its true , but iunderstand what you mean i get girls all the time , but this one time this girl came up to me & told me that iwas tooo hott to be smart ? iwas like your never to of somthing to be something . you follow your heartt , ilove the fact that im intellegent iguesss being popular is a bonus to that . in conclusion to all this , ibelieve that your right , just in your case. not everyones is the same & iapologize for those kids who swear there so much cooler because they just make them selfs look worse , just dont let it phase you kids , & older peoples of course lol . thank you for your time .
mr loller
· 10 months ago
Your writing makes you seem more like an idiot, so I'll go ahead and say that instead of disproving the guy's theory, you proved it. Anyway, thanks for the laughs, dink.
I wonder how much more irony is in 825 comments...
Dylan
· 10 months ago
im not a nerd but i hate being picked on. im called weak and stupid and a lot of other stuff. even getting in fights doesn't help the kid who was losing still thinks he won please give me help
Wow!
· 10 months ago
So true...
Rose
· 10 months ago
Yeahh... Thats so true.
I used to be a nerd; I had no friends, so in the end I dumbed myself down, and I became popular. Pretty pathetic, hey.
Random
· 10 months ago
you have just got to become friends with the popular chicks and the rest falls in place
Random
· 10 months ago
thats if you are a guy if you were wondering
BB (Bella Bee/Beautiful Bella)
· 10 months ago
at my school (in england) we have a social hierarchy too but it is pretty different (no cheerleaders for a start)
to start with this is coming from the point of view of someone on the edge of the popular inner circle...at my school most people are fairly rich (which is one of the reasons our school has uniform-so we look the same) but some are pretty poor too. That is your first boundary though it is pretty blured.
also at my school the most popular people (bar one or two) are actually pretty smart. there is a difference between being smart and being a nerd. Being a nerd at my school means wearing your skirt below your knees or your tie to your trousers ( big stereotype but there is no one in the inner circle who dresses like that)
My school has far more of a clique culture (though it could be graded in the A-E way to some extent) There are two popular groups of girls; the ones who wear huge amounts of make-up, aren't very bright and are secretly hated by most people. And there is my group, we look like the other group on the outside (though with a little less make-up) but two of us are taking GCSEs(exams taken at 16) 2 years early I am in the 2nd to top set in math(true I got dropped down from the top one:D) and the other two are fairly intelligent. The boy's group I'm not too sure about( they don't seem to have have as much of a clique culture- girls are evil to each other)
But what i do know is that there are merges from the inner circle to vairious other cliques. It often depends on who you live close to or get the bus with.
I find it funny to here about American high school culture, you have it so intergrated about who can be friends with who.
I was watching a program called numbers(something i would never admit to watching to my poular friends) and the math genius guy had set out a plan of where everyone would sit in a cafeteria. he said that if the cheerleaders came in first they would sit down (say in by the window or glass door) then the jocks came in, they would sit as close to the cheerleaders as they could. Then say, the nerds came in, they would sit as far away as possible from the jocks. Then it would fill in round that (say the popular but un-sporty girls would sit near the jocks,etc,etc).
what happenens at English schools is nothing like that. It is similar in way but not much. At my school we have 5 or 6 long tables and we go in year groups by year group (year 9,the 13 & 14 year olds go in first). So it is a bit of a free for all.
But i do recall in one of my first few days in the inner circle (I was never naturaly popular I had to, and still am, work hard to get there and i still secretly have unpopular friends who i can talk about books and such to) we had just bought lunch and there weren't enough seats for all of us (cue momentary panic attack when i thought that they were going to sit down and make me sit somewhere else) so our "leader" went over to this girl in the year below ,who has no friends what so ever, and asked her (politely at first) if she could move so we could sit down. This girl very bravley told us that she wouldn't so she was then told to move or we'll make her life a misery through mini-mes (the popular girls in the year below who we've adopted:D and I'd made the nickname up for). that of course causeed her to freak out and scamper off.
You may have noticed that early not only did i mention that i din't start off popular, but also that i still, even now, have a few "unpopular" friends. I came from a different primary school to the other girls and had been badly bullied at primary school. So when i started I slipped into a unpopular group. I quickly decided though that hardly anyone at this school new me and that i could make myself anyone that i wanted to be. So I set about buying the right clothes and getting a good haircut, and I latched myself onto the popular group in my form. Of course getting them to like me had been the big problem but thanks to a school project that required a group of 5 I begsn to prove to them that I had what it takes.
This may sound like some teen girl book but i swear its all true. The thing is that my old friends had adopted me as a kind of leader so they kept trying to follow me round. So I started to blank them totally in school but made extra efforts to keep in touch with them out of school (I had problems going into town though incase any one from the inner circle spotted me with them). Those friends are pretty bright and quickly caught on to what I was doing though they occationaly give me the cold shoulder.
The problem was I became obbsessed about getting these popular girls to like me and I used to have huge plans about how to get each member to idividualy like me ( I remember one day following them round school working out how to get one to like me because even though they were the one that I didn't like so much, her best friend was ill so I worked on taking her place).
My friend from another school knew all about it and being one of those people who are just naturaly are popular she quickly helped me work out a plan though she found it really funny.
I was never naturally a popular person but I have eventualy made it. Even though it is only a show (I sit here now this webpage up, a game website up and I am also helping one of my friends make a good skin for bebo, oh and I am IMing about 10 people, no joke).
Even though it is hard work I'm actually glad I've put the effort in, I may never be Miss most popular but I'm close enough and I think that I'm going to be happier in adult life because I've proved to myself that I don't have to spend school being bullied.
alex
· 9 months ago
wow..............no body really does that anymore this is like wierd. yo must be like 70 years old now u crazy foo. this is stupid i mean you wrote so much on what people could care less about. sad............very very sad :(
jim
· 9 months ago
That Is where you're wrong, the schools / school systems have not changed, sadly. You are clearly not a "nerd" who would have the ability to see the flaws in the false society you don't even know you're living in. In the long run, being a " nerd" will help you out more in the REAL world as opposed to being an unintelligent popular amongst morons you'll just forget about kind of person.
You sir, are one of the morons. :)
jim
· 9 months ago
In response to Alex, for the record.
Doug
· 9 months ago
The thing you just said either means that you didn't read the article or you just didn't try to get what this man was saying, because you have just become a perfect example of it.
Nice article, I agree with this man on all counts [ I am an 8th grade nerd. febuary 18, 2009 ]
REBEKAH
· 9 months ago
YOU need to stop teasing him if he wants to open his heart upo to the public let him do because popular people are no diffrent than regular people. They just think that because they have some money that there parents make they think there sooooo cool and there not. So if you CALL yourself popular than than leave the so called NERDS alone and if you have the nerve to be mean to any one imagine yourserlf being a nerd and every one makes fun of you because you dont have that much money or your smarter than some one. THINK ABOUT IT .
James
· 9 months ago
this is true... the blip about the suicide of wanting to be popular so bad, I've seen it first hand; I am one of the few "nerds" who chose to sacrafice intelligence for popularity; people know me now, but a few years after having an impeccable record of schoolwork, I'm barely scraping by my classes. Is it appropriate to make such a sacrifice, to try and establish connections and instill memories in the minds of people whose names you won't remember five years from now?
I don't know
Jack
· 9 months ago
Wow.. I guess Im a lucky person. Im pretty popular, but you are right if i had to drop popularity or being smart I would definently drop popularity.
very honest
PoopHead NErdhater
· 9 months ago
this page is toooo long!!! no wonder your unpopular. lol
nErDz aRe gAy
· 9 months ago
haha true bro.
PoopHead NErdhater
· 9 months ago
Your a bloody NERD!!!!!
LOSER!
joomunji
· 9 months ago
hey lol dont tease him
NERDS ARE AWSOME!!!
· 9 months ago
Shut up Poophead Your gay!
Loser!
unnerdyandsexy
· 9 months ago
haha stupid nerds fighting for rights.. lol
6r347 dud3
· 9 months ago
ohhhhhhh mean shit said here
ANARCHY
· 9 months ago
tooooo long. who reads this stuff anyway? No one cares unless ur a nerd and nothing will change for them.
ayesha
· 9 months ago
This was the most honest essay I ever read,but not just that I couldnt belive how much I related to I see he's probably a white male who grew up in the suburds and me a black female who grew up in the getto. where these problems get worst. Thank You.
fucknerds
· 9 months ago
fucking nerds are fucking unpopular. if they would just toughen up and not let theirselves get beat up they wouldnt be in this position to where they are spending all their time complaining.
fuckfootballplayers
· 9 months ago
@fucknerds Yeah right, it's dumbfucks like you who are debasing our society into a miserable shithole. Do you think we'd have achieved anything if nerds didn't exist and we'd all be football playing brutes like you only? We'd still be cavedwellers, retard.
Dr Manhattan
· 9 months ago
I have a 12 inch cockalocka I'll never be unpoplular
Jedkins
· 9 months ago
Pretty good article; The boredom/hunter theory, is quite telling. Also, the idea of vanity & stupidity comes to mind, considering the human condition. 2 bad this energy is used against innocents & respectable pieces.
About earning internet popularity, I suppose 1 can play other(s) by their interest(s), even though, I personally find that the average internet sociopath, isn't a prize worth chasing.
I know these kinda articles will quickly, traffic plenty of trollers/cyber-bullies; U know'em, when U see'em, simply by the attitude, logic, & content.
I tried to post something like this @ pof's, 1st come/1st served, voting system, thread, & ended up gettin' booted, by, U guessed it.
Btw... nice forum, open & allows for editing; nice stuff...
Booger
· 9 months ago
NERDDSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Froggy
· 9 months ago
Wow, never thought anything could hold my attention for that long. Read it all the way through, and you're right. At least, I hope you're right; the thought that teenagers aren't inherently unhappy is a good source of hope for me.
Thanks from a still-in-school nerd! ^_^~
nerds=NOOBS
· 9 months ago
i play games a lot, but i go to every party there is at school, and i dont go to the library at recess+lunch. i just love playing games thats all... i absolutely HATE studying, yet im smart. i absolutely HATE books, yet there is a book somewhere that im addicted to. yet i like rap songs beter than anything else. and i am fairly popular. what does that make me. oh yeh, i HATE BOOK AND STUDY NERDS HU DONT KNOW ANY BETTER!!!
nerds=NOOBS
· 9 months ago
to add to that, i also hate hate hate nintendo DS or PSP nerds who play in class, in the library every chance they get, and if i steal for fun their DS for 1 minute they go absolutely CRAZY!!!! im serious
why
· 9 months ago
this is just true.....dumb popular people....stupid!!!
why
· 9 months ago
hey you wat u sayin
chris
· 9 months ago
on your point of how the heirarchy changes in univerities and the like i totally agree. there have been times when i was depressed on "not being nerdy enough".
Muhammad
· 9 months ago
You suck, nerds are gay, i hope you commit suicide. I have a 30 inch cock and im jacked. Know what i do to nerds? Theres a kid named John in my class, i didnt like him, John doesnt come to class anymore. You wasted my time from reading the Quran, long live ALLAH! FUCK U ALL, FUCK AMERICAAAAAAA, BOMBBBBBBBBBBB
Mark
· 9 months ago
I'd say nerds are unpopular because they have a different focus in high school. They're focused on getting good grades. There are plenty of smart kids who are popular, they just decide to focus on the social aspects of school. They realize that paying a little attention to what you wear and learning to carry a conversation will get them more of what they want in the short term then working hard for the grades.
NK
· 9 months ago
Very good article, honestly I did not read the full thing, but I got the message after a few minutes of reading, I never wanted to be popular all that much and did not care, and ironically, that is what people were drawn to, they expected someone like me to be smart and, oh who cares, lawls!
the watcher
· 9 months ago
back when i was in school, nerds were unpopular, the ones that got made fun of anyway, because they would say and do stupid things that made people say "Wtf?" they probably did it for attention, even if it was negative attention. but, still, brought the harassment onto themselves.
umm..
· 9 months ago
YOURE THE NERD, GEEK! Just because you wrote this,
who you think
· 9 months ago
i keep my foot lookin like an 88 draft pick
tc
· 9 months ago
nerds are people too.
Taylor
· 9 months ago
I'm at the beginning of year 12 at the moment, and for the past 12 years of schooling, popularity has been a mojor focal point to our schooling life. your article has really made me see that school and being popular is minimal, certanly up against the real world, where correct answers matter.
Sina Seifee
· 9 months ago
So true. My experience was somehow more devastating in some ways. I live in another continent, with far more different culture and habits. But above all I suffered beyond explainable. The main issue there, was memorizing data, listening and grasping principles. Yes, cruelty and boredom were definitely present. I sometimes think how can you put a ten year old kid in one place siting for six hours and don't let him to interact, to create, to discover; and instead throw some old chewed crap of facts and formulas at him? But I know now that it was supposed to be that way. In ideologized societies everything is political therefor estimated therefor judged therefor filtered and therefor forced. And add that to religious conservatism and rituals that must be contributed everyday. We didn't have castes or status like yours, it was more just a giant liquid mess, a big floating chaos have to be flagellated time to time by moderators. And kids didn't have time to do anything else than to finish their pointless repetitive endless homework. That was my education (without any exaggeration. believe me!): stress and fatigue, which leads to depression, frustration or hatred (in my case the first one). And I really think that was what they wanted. They didn't want competent creative intelligent outlaws to initiate and commence to challenge the system. They wanted drained and tired humans, who doesn't desire to think or group or to establish something useful. And they have many. It was all about control. As you mentioned, it was long after that I could bring myself to reading and truly learning. And again as you said, the worst than all was this incoming belief: THIS IS ALL THERE IS TO LIFE AND NOTHING ELSE.
Z.L.
· 9 months ago
Immensely profound yet surprisingly simple.
I agree 100% and I'm glad I'm not the only one who shares this view. Glad someone is using their brain. Exellent insight!
Emily
· 9 months ago
I'm sorry you had such a dreadful experience in high school. I'm a geek and I loved it. I never contemplated suicide, I had a lot of amazing teachers, and I had a lot of friends. I was really involved in a lot of aspects of school- senior year I had the lead in the school play, I was the editor of the literary magazine, and the captain of the debate team. I also got the highest score in my class on the SAT, got 5's on all my AP exams, and got into the most selective college out of all the graduates that year. And before you say that I wasn't a real geek, I've also been heavily involved in online fandom for ten years- attending conventions, writing fanfiction, making shippy powerpoints of fanart, the whole nine yards, and I never concealed this from any of my teachers or fellow classmates. I don't think that smart kids are doomed to having a miserable time in school, and I don't think that school is little better than a holding pen. Again, I'm sorry your experience was so dreadful, but it doesn't speak for all of us.
Also, reading this essay, I wondered how much of it was affected by coming from a male perspective in a period before the Internet. Perhaps the isolating experience of high school students is alleviated with access to the Internet? I know my adolescence was immeasurably improved by contact with other people in fandom, primarily female, and primarily college age and older. They were able to give me a lot of perspective on life that I wouldn't have been able to acquire otherwise- for many years I wanted to be a civil rights attorney and legalize gay marriage, and this goal was a direct response to my exposure to the Harry Potter fandom.
Also, I've never wanted to be popular. Those kids weren't the ones I envied.
Ehh Clemi
· 9 months ago
Shut up faggots
da dude
· 9 months ago
Tc shut the fuck up! nerds just be stupid all the time, they can't take a joke, and they play stupid games like runescape all day...even after they have left school. Instead of studying for HSC they bloody play Pokemon all fucking day. If your gonna be a nerd be a real one and not a poser gaming freak...seriously.
da dud32
· 9 months ago
Adam Tape is GAY!!!!! mwooohahahahaha
Thomas
· 9 months ago
The problem with your argument is that you automatically associate smart and nerdy, when the two are very different. Being nerdy usually means you are simply socially awkward. Some smart people can be nerdy, but the two are not mutually inclusive. In high school and college I was one of the smartest kids at my high school, played football, and did not sit at an 'E' table. I found that I could be an intelligent person and also date and have fun. It turns out that even jocks can score over 1400 on their SAT, you just have to apply yourself.
What most people don't understand I think is the difference between being a nerd and being smart. Nerdiness usually implies a willful participation in socially retarded practices, such as boardgames, roleplaying and making friends with stupid teachers. Being intelligent means actually being smart enough to do well academically. I know of A LOT of nerds that simply were not intelligent. They acted like they were, but when it comes down to it, they SAT and GPA just wasn't very high.
This is why so many nerds feel separated from society, because they do not understand how unintelligent they really are! They believe that they are pariahs because of their intelligence, but it is really because of their social awkwardness.
Tracy
· 9 months ago
I agree with Thomas. I also think that you associate being 'popular' with being 'right' too much, because not all kids/teens think that the popular people are doing it right. Many kids would love to be popular, i.e. adored by lots of people, but don't want to give up their own hobbies and enjoyments (maybe smart things like reading that are considered 'uncool') in order to obtain it. I think that's a more realistic argument than a 'nerd' having to choose between popularity and intelligence. Like Thomas said, many kids can pull of being smart and still have friends. It seems to be more of a confidence issue and a fear of being rejected for what makes that individual unique.
You made a couple good points though, I'll give you that...=)
Joan
· 9 months ago
Popularity continues to be an issue well into adulthood. New moms are usually shocked to find themselves facing mom cliques at the playground...they thought having a baby alone was the price of admission to a new group of friends. Wrong. I just wrote an article about this at my blog. Interesting article and comments here.
Pete
· 9 months ago
wonderful essay! at my school the 'brains' weren't so much picked on as they were ignored. Part of this was self-induced. when average kids went to parties, or just wasted time hanging out, we were either studying or at the library looking up stuff. The solution was to do a lot of extra-curricular activities as these put you more into the real world while still remaining with your age group
The cool kid
· 9 months ago
Most of the popular people at my school are smart so i dont know what your smoking....
Myro
· 9 months ago
Um... I'm not really sure if you know what 'smart' means in this context, because I've never found that to be true at any school I've been to.
Anonymous
· 9 months ago
It's the same at my school, just because you haven't seen it Myro doesn't mean it can't be true.
For your information I'm smart and popular and so are a lot of my friends.
Mgccl
· 9 months ago
To be fair... maybe Myro won't think you are smart. Obviously, you might not think some people not popular.
The problem is there isn't any standard on how to measure popularity and smart. everyone is only referring to the world they live in... Maybe, the smartest person in your school doesn't even qualify as a nerd in mine.
Nerdy
· 9 months ago
Only in your school. What can you tell about mine
Sara
· 9 months ago
This is absolutely fantastic. I feel like you get me and everything I believe. I was a nerd in high/middle/late elementary school, and not an obvious D&D playing nerd but a quiet, studious, and unpopular girl. While from age 13 on I had wonderful, also unpopular, friends to get me through it without too much depression, it was not an experience I'd care to repeat. My parents love the town they live in and don't understand at all when I complain about how fake it is. I still hate being there. Anyway, with just about everything, you've hit the nail on the head. The effort it takes to be popular -- I tried in middle school and gave up quickly. How you feel there's something wrong with you if you don't conform and if you try to seek something with more meaning (be it math, spirituality, whatever). The freak and nerd overlap. The reeking falseness of suburbia. I think part of what has colored our vision, why we thought something was wrong with us, why we assumed the popular kids knew something we didn't, and why a generally annoying situation was a terrible experience for us, was lack of confidence, which is so devastating in such a fiercely cruel and competitive arena. I'm so glad I stumbled across this essay. Thank you for writing and posting it. It gives me hope that I'm not alone in believing something is wrong, and maybe -- probably not, but maybe -- something will be changed someday.
Pia
· 9 months ago
who wants to write an essay to me about "a person you thought would never achieve anything who is now doing well" or "a person who was once a successful student who is now having problems in school or in life". Send me an email at once. I have so much homeworks to do. I don't have time to write an essay myself...
Rejeev Divakaran
· 9 months ago
In my opinion, envy of the 'normal' people coupled with 'self-enhancing bias' of majority of the 'normal' is one reason for unpopularity of the nerds.
laurie
· 9 months ago
.................................
note
· 9 months ago
the only way to be popular is BE URSELF how hard can that be. Dont try to kick back and chill thinkin they fresh no it not what it about. ull find more about it once u be urself
nitesky
· 9 months ago
could you please translate that into literate english?
sara
· 9 months ago
that is the worst idea i have ever heard well for me at least i am in themiddle of nerd and popular so normal and i try to be my self but none of it is working what should i do
manuel
· 9 months ago
ill tell you what to do, search for something you really like in life and stick to it everyday. dont look for something that will give you money or popularity just something you truly enjoy. be consistent and dont abandon it. then naturally you will both enjoy life more, gain self esteem and also have lots of friends, which you will reaize its not as important as finding your true goal in life. the fact is that people suffer only because they are taught irrelevant stuff instead of being helped to find what is it that they truly came to do in this world. and school kids are oblivious to all of these ideas.
Sara
· 8 months ago
How hard can that be? REALLY hard, trust me. Especially when you don't have any confidence, you don't really know who you are and nobody's giving you the chance to find out. But it's a good idea, if only it would work.
WuMaster
· 9 months ago
This article is so true and is the best one I've ever seen explaining the insanity of the high school system and it's dysfunctional self destructive social hierarchy.
The only people that would deny the truth of this article are those who reaped the benefits of the system. Only those who suffer, as this author did, are able to look deep within the system and find out the meaning of it or ask the bigger questions.
Still, I wonder why schools in other countries are not as crazy and dysfunctional as in the US. In Germany, for example, the bullies, who are usually lower class kids, are put in separate schools.
Also, why are the adults in the public schools unable to empathize with what's going on in the school, since they too were in high school once? Have they forgotten? Or was high school long ago different than it is now?
Stephen
· 9 months ago
The problem with the US education system is that it is deliberately made that way. If you want to successfully destroy a society, you need to do it from the ground up, and that means controlling how an entire generation (or two) of kids grow up. Once you've made a generation largely dysfunctional and popularity-focused, they're easier to control and manipulate.
Seems to be working, IMO.
WuMaster
· 9 months ago
I suffered so much in high school too. I wasn't even a nerd or a freak. I just didn't fit in anywhere. I finally found happiness overseas. See my story here:
I'm a nerd and I can tell you why I'm not so popular. I just don't want to! What people would admire me only if I was popular? Only the shallow ones. The others wouldn't care if I'm popular or not if they like me. The latters are often nerds, too. Maybe this is the real road to enlightenment ;)
God man
· 9 months ago
joel gordon is gay!!! hahahaha!
dsfsrhgth
· 9 months ago
Shut up noob!
dgsshd
· 9 months ago
hello!!
qwertz bro
· 9 months ago
wumaster you poor baby
dan
· 9 months ago
the length of this narrative is why you're not popular - think about the delivery
EA
· 9 months ago
Considering the state of the World, and the American education system, I would say that being smart in school(you know, all things being equal), is about average in Universal terms.
lincoln
· 9 months ago
hooah, young son! you hit the nail square in the head! The problem is tha actual education and child rearing is a lot more difficult and expensive than are busy work, repetitive memorization of facts, forced marches, and imagination sapping media. Or in simpler terms, one path makes a child into a well-adjusted adult, the other makes a person into mush. And mush doesn't give back-talk! So the objective, (from a practical, governmental standpoint), becomes keep these little hellions tied down until they can join the workforce and pay some taxes. It isn't their concern that we want to actually make something of ourselves, and it isn't really their priority to help us do that. So once again, the system becomes an obstacle.
Except that people like you and me, survivors of the system are on the outside. We pay taxes. We "control" "things". So we can make it so the system works. Who's with me?
sunny
· 9 months ago
OH come on. I'm a nerd, this article is way too long, I'm not going to read it sorry.
Please edit the article. Perhaps you didn't do that well in English class then?
sam
· 9 months ago
hahah poor baby. if your time was so precious you'd not have wasted your breath attempting a snarky reponse. Parhaps U shoud learn to read more fastar, eh? (honestly, I didn't think it was that long at all. ADD much? You kids these days.*shakes head*)
Rande
· 9 months ago
Actually, I found that being smart kept me from being demoted to the lowest class. When I went to school, there were three classes; upper, middle, and lower. The upper class consisted of those gifted in all three areas; Intelligence, looks, and money. Lack even one of these attributes, and you were automatically demoted to middle class, where I was positioned ... you see, my parents were divorced, and the money aspect was gone. Since I was also shy, I did not want the attention of the upper class, so I was content right were I was ... a strong middle class.
The low class were not only stupid, but they were the ones involved in most of the fighting and were always in trouble over something. The whole student body shunned them.
Mark
· 9 months ago
Amazing!! This should be read at every school! It might do a few of them some good, if you could get them to pay attention for just a few minutes. I was kind of a nerd in school. Fortunately for me, I understood at that time, to quote the late Great George Carlin (may he rest in peace) that "it's all bullshit and it's bad for ya!" ;)
Mark in Oregon
art
· 9 months ago
Good topic , true all the way . . and still today .. In my day i was considered a middle class student. but played as many sports as you can imagine. this is what brought out character and pride in oneself not to mention self esteem. this also helped you to become more confident in everything you did outside of school as well. I would see how the so called nerds would behave if they were not studying. they simply were not a social group. they were somewhat withdrawn to the rest of the school body but yet not withdrawn amongst themselves. personality was definitely lacking, no athletic skills at all. some would try being part of the track team but anyone with two legs can run, so i wont count that as a sport that requires some sort of skills or talent. I remember as we have all moved on in our lives , each taking a different path, as time would go on i would run into past classmates. my own personal group of friends i had, the what you would call the lowerclass of kids and the nerds as well. I found that some of the so called nerds were then the most educated of the group in our school but i realized they still lacked having a personality . they were still somewhat to themselves, and yet after all these years of education, i realized their social skills never really blossomed. and yes of course they had their circle of friends and i am sure when they were all together things were different , they all hung out and laughed and had a good time but from my own personal experience nothing has really change. i feel bad for alot of them because they missed out on alot during the high shcool years. . there are so many memories that most of us had during those years that the nerds missed out on. i considered them not to be well rounded students. where their lives could have been more balanced to experience more about life and more about themselves.
since i own a service business , i get to see first hand how most of the nerds had progressed in life. most are very intelligent ( as expected ) they have done very well for themselves financially, and most have nice looking wives as well. I would look at these couples ( nerds and gorgeous woman ) and shake my head ? but what i have noticed is the following through my years of observation by maintaining their properties. a good percentage of the women who married nerds did it for only one reason. for financial security only. not out of love. i know this first hand because i have the time to talk to the wives of the nerds while i take care of their properties. this is the common denominator amonst most of them. the wives of the nerds eventually will look to fool around on the side because there is no fun in their relationship, no deep conversations , no communications at all with their husbands. they confide in me because of my years of service to them to them, and all tell me how boring their husbands are. that they are always working and even when they come home they have dinner , have some small talk then off to the computer to work again. half of the wives say they are not happily married because they jumped in it for the wrong reasons. some are now planning for their children to graduate before filing for divorce some are lying low and just accepted the fact that they are not going anywhere but will always have another man in their lives to fill their emotional needs. they all complained that if their husbands were more outgoing with the family, doing things together but doing them because it comes from the heart, being affectionate towards their wives and children , their relationship would be different. but what the wives are hoping for is an impossible task because their husbands will never change and have never really left those days back in high school where they all hung oout in some corner of the caffeteria, withdrawn from society...........................
jimbo
· 9 months ago
go back to school and learn some grammar and spelling
art
· 9 months ago
i know jimbo i wrote it quickly before i went to work to service my wonderful nerdy clients. so i did not have the time to proof read what i wrote but i am sure that you understand what was said. I am sorry if you are a nerd but sometimes the truth hurts. if you were not a nerd then so be it. . I hope you are not in the grouping that i have stated above because that means that someone is slamming your wife.
Obehave
· 8 months ago
Yes art, you are another case-and-point of this article, guess which one!
Deb
· 9 months ago
This has to be the definitive essay on the utility and uselessness of school, as well as on the artificiality of popularity (which equates to social success in a superficial, transient way).
Every school teacher, every education director and gvt minister should read this. In the UK we used to segregate kids according to ability - the clever kids going to an academic establishment whilst those who were more likely to find meaning in social popularity and preening themselves and vote winning went to schools that taught them a lot of useful stuff like carpentry and plumbing and food preparation.
It obviated many of the problems that we see now in 'equality' schools across the Western world. In striving for this faux 'equality' the adults (not sure if they even deserve this designation) have created or at least exacerbated the issues they thought they were countering.
You're right, school (and I speak as a former pupil, a parent and a school governor) is nothing more than a dumping ground, riddled with toxic waste - of time, talent, energy...
reverett
· 9 months ago
Great piece and ignore the criticism of its length. Not everything fits in a 30 minute episode. Even online, certain elements seek to bolster their own standing by "putting others down".
I do think you might want to think a little more about just who establishes the top tier in the hierarchy. The existing powers use their control of that tier to manage the whole structure - you don't conform, you don't play. And it is no coincidence that the majority of politicians come from this pool. Nerds are smart and smart people are dangerous - whether they are plotting revolution or just raising their hand to ask the teacher a difficult question.
Ben
· 9 months ago
I'm not very good with words so ill get right in to it. I think this is quite good on the whole but there are a few things I think are wrong. Now being a student of a middle school my self(Australia not America and I'm 15 not 13) you may find fault in what i say as well but I think what you were saying about the bullying thing is good though I still think its just some one trying to generalize all the problems this world has (which are far to many to count). Because I don't believe the most bullies have reasons, that is just what they do its just them going through the motions (there probably will be reasons for some, hell maybe even all, this is just what i think). What i really disagree with though is all that crap about school being a "prison" there are reasons we go (despite the fact that I slept in Science). They are preparing us for the "real world". if you skip school and smoke weed and all that then head out into the "real world" you will end up working for the sanitation department on a minimal wage. children in the Renaissance were also beaten without restraint if they had parents or starving if they didn't. time's change in some cases for the worse but in most for the better. you keep saying that all the successful people in life were nerds, being a nerd meant being smart...you getting me? if not the bottom line is that we need school, there is no way around it. sorry for the bad grammar,poorly arranged arguments and probably the miss use of words. science isn't the only class i have slept in(though in my defense i get up at 6:30 AM to get ready so I'm pretty tired) and its 11PM as i wright this so im off to bed
Dustin Palmer
· 9 months ago
That was the most beautiful thing I have ever read.
Jerome van Stam
· 9 months ago
USA schools are notoriously easy.
maria
· 9 months ago
Nice article. The key to survive other people are : Be yourself no matter what, be faithful to your inner person, trust your intuition, try to be able to respect yourself with obviously some flaws but not unbearable ones, don´t spill one drop of energy to worry what others think or say about you. If they get rotten, be agressive, learn defensive sports just in case, And think that it is much better to have something in your head and inside than be a hollow mannequí living a a really stupid showroom life with false values.
Ron
· 9 months ago
Very insightful article. I was also at the D table in the lunch room. I would guess that this is part of the reason homeschoolers do so well. They have a chance to be bright but without being classified as unpopular or wierd while they are doing it.
Joe
· 9 months ago
Maria, you're right to an extent, but you couldn't have been paying that much attention to the article if that's the best explanation you could come up with. This entire essay is about how it's almost impossible for kids from age 11 through 17 or 18 to "be themselves" because of all the pressure put on them. A good way for the "outcasts" "freaks" and "nerds" to get through this is to actually do something about it; and no, not the "Revenge of the Nerds" ending where everyone realizes that at some point in their life "they too, were called a nerd". These kids need to know that in life, sometimes one has to stick up for him or herself, even if that means getting into a physical fight with someone bigger, stronger, and faster than them, because then at least the child/teen knows that he/she did something about it, rather than tell a teacher or parent and be labelled a rat by his/her peers.
MARIO
· 9 months ago
smart people are unpopular cause they can see the truth that no one wants to hear , even in the earliest stages of life . Thats all .
MARIO
· 9 months ago
When smart people grow up they realize truth hurts and start hiding it so they become more popular ...
dave St.John
· 9 months ago
As a former nerd and middle school teacher I thank you for your thoughts. Yes, offering teens something real to do is the answer. It won't happen, though, because A, they might get hurt, and B, if they were to do something valuable it would be "child labor," and C, it would mean admitting that every child is not going to college. Thanks again for your thoughts.
D. L.
· 9 months ago
Funny but the folks who were the most popular in HS today make up the majority of what some would call "white trash" (or black or Hispanic or whatever)...because most of them never had the brains to see that this popularity game was based almost solely on looks, and, quite frankly, if you weren't super good looking or a pro-team calibre athlete, you weren't good enough for the meritocracy of adult career life and weren't smart enough to "schmooze" your way around it.
I was neither nerd nor emo nor popular, but by my senior year I was firmly embedded in a group of non-conformos (art students) in 1969, when drug use was becoming firmly entrenched at my school. In other words, not popular enough to matter but popular enough to be considered "relevant" (in other words, low B, high C). and as for lunch table, we never went to "lunch" but hung out in the bathroom smoking cigarettes.
Bobby
· 9 months ago
Great article. I had a buddy when I was in high school some moons ago, who was that rare exception. The guy was brilliant with book learning, and a star athlete. The strange thing was, that after having gotten a degree quite easily in physics, he became tired of school and got a job as an inside saleman for a soap company. No, I'm not kidding.
Steve
· 9 months ago
I wonder how many of these bright but miserable adolescents grew up to miserable adults? Of those, how many just faded away into the uncounted numbers of alchololics and drug addicts who self medicate their pain away. Very sad.
Fred Teflet
· 9 months ago
Dear Steve
Judging by your comment, you sound like one of those who chose to dwell in the lower reaches of consciousness in exchange for "popularity". I bet you watch American Idol as well.
Afshin
· 9 months ago
Fred, think "bell curve". You can't talk someone out of a position they didn't talk themselves into. Nature put some persons in the Hilly part of the bell curve... Some on the "shady side," and only as few on the "bright side." Let it go, Fred, let it go.... Let Steve go merrily merrily merrily down his happy little stream :D
Roland
· 9 months ago
You are not responsible for the insecurities of others. You are responsible for your own insecurities. Get over being alone. There are many worse things in the world than that. I have long since concluded that the main reason most of My Fellow Americans don't like me is because they are nuts. They voted for GW--twice!! They love wars, and violence like WWF. They are bullies even as adults, so they support things like the War on Drugs. You are better off without lunatics in your life. Get used to it.
Obehave
· 8 months ago
Bittttter....
Jock
· 9 months ago
Shut up you dork. You talk too much.
Afshin
· 9 months ago
He does take the long road, doesn't he? But rarely has a long article been so readable. I'm impressed. Therefore, go do some bench presses and come back and read it to the end, you'll gain some perspective on yourself and the "dorks" you lord it over.
Will
· 9 months ago
I so glad that unintelligent people still think that they can debate someone intelligent with only insults. I wish you luck in your career as bag boy at the local supermarket.
Graham
· 9 months ago
This article is juvenile drivel with zero intellectual depth; written by a person well on their way to self absorbed navel gazing.
They hate you if you're clever and the despise a fool. John Lennon
Afshin
· 9 months ago
You're an idiot.
Archivist
· 9 months ago
I don't know what it is but this essay needs some kind of internationally recognized award. Some kind of nobel prize or something.
You expertly summarized the points people need to start addressing this state of our society.
Five stars.
Afshin
· 9 months ago
I agree, thanks for demonstrating not only your appreciation of this piece for all its merits, but also for demonstrating that you have a brain within your cranium. I express my appreciation of this piece and of you, simultaneously. :P
Afshin
· 9 months ago
"There are certainly great public school teachers. The energy and imagination of my fourth grade teacher, Mr. Mihalko, made that year something his students still talk about, thirty years later. But teachers like him were individuals swimming upstream. They couldn't fix the system."
And do note, you still remember his name...
Afshin
· 9 months ago
Wow. Your thesis is coherent, moving, and likely. It is well-rounded in scope, well-balanced in perspective, and well-grounded in contexts as well as detail. Your reasoning is valid, your premises reasonably sound. It rings true, and it puts a perspective on my experience of the "public school system." You've informed me, encouraged me, inspired me. Thank you.
Tom Hughes
· 9 months ago
Outstanding- People like to work. And teenagers are junior people. So the system (which has no use for them) is driving them crazy. Dead on dude.
Niki
· 9 months ago
Dear Sir,
I did not think that I would even read this paper past five minutes due to its length, but it just took my curiosity by storm. It took me approximately half-hour to read, but it sure opened my eyes to another perspective. In a way, I was lucky to realize in high school that unpopularity is not an innate matter, it is just a lack of a certain skill, to be popular! This was the point where I started studying sociology and other areas of interest in my life opened up. I'm really impressed with your point of view in this paper and will forward this material to my friends.
J.
· 9 months ago
Hello!
I recently attended co-ed public school for junior high in western PA in one of Gateway's neighboring school districts, and school was exactly as you described in your essay. Nothing ever changes. You better believe it. If you want to read an interesting book on the same subject, read "Nerds: Who They Are And Why We Need More Of Them" by David Anderegg.
PS. High School football is ridiculous.
nerd or freak?
· 9 months ago
Your argument may explain some cases, but it is definitely not the answer to why nerds are unpopular, or why kids are unhappy at school.
I believe that in order to argue against the fact that a sharp increase in hormones contribute to strange hierarchical behavior in adolescence requires evidence of an acute understanding of the effect hormones have on the human body. This essay is a great example of the saying, "Talk is cheap, show me your data."
As primates, as vertebrates even, humans will always create a social hierarchy. Hierarchy is observed in other species as well: every sort of monkey/ape, dogs, cats, etc. I worked in a fish lab for 2 years and even they had a hierarchy. This is a way to organize a group of people. Everyone has their own ideas of what is right and without a hierarchy, there would be no uniformity in the goals of the group, so nothing would get done.
I could use myself as a counter example to many aspects of your argument. So, until you get some statistics about children in school, this essay is a load of opinions.
I think adults can gain respect from students with more discipline from an early age. Capital punishment used to be allowed in schools, but now there are little to no consequences for bad behavior.
In addition, teachers are not screened for their ability to decipher children. Perhaps they need a motivation to take their child psychology courses more seriously. I don't think they realize how they project to their students: "you are all dumb," so students become a self-fulfilling prophecy. And if the teacher doesn't value the subject, why should the students? It is sad that a good teacher is such a rarity.
Its also difficult for people under 18 to find work, since you must obtain working papers signed by the school dean and take them to the employer, parents, etc. If it were easier for young kids to find a paying job, perhaps they would be useful to society. However, since we are a developed nation, child labor is not prevalent. For many Americans, to make children work is to destroy the sanctity of childhood.
A better way to incorporate young people into the "real world" is through volunteer work. Perhaps being exposed to real peril, such as the homeless by working at a soup kitchen, will make them realize why they are going to school... In any case, some statistics on children doing volunteer work vs. perceived quality of life could strengthen your argument.
On the up-side, I did learn some things about suburbia that I wouldn't have ever known...
Obehave
· 8 months ago
I believe your rebuttal is too harsh, and may mirror a personal subjective experience and interpretation of how life in junior high/high school really was.
There is a counterpart to the "dependence of solid data"-syndrome that you seem to exhibit here, and that has to do with understanding what is being written in this essay as a summary and narration of invariable truths about human nature, done as well as the author managed!
The obvious pitfalls of writing the essay to begin with, being the scrutiny of professionals and the ridicule of the uneducated, have not deterred this author from giving it all he's got, and that is commendable to say the least!
In conclusion I would like to say that I'm left with a definite conviction that the focus, tone and "angle of attack" that this author is taking with the goal of trying to explain and analyze the issue at hand, is a more positive and "solution orientated" one, than the approach you seem to embody.
Me
· 9 months ago
Wow...that was pathetic. My brother and I were both smart and popular. We were both in gifted programs, played sports, dated girls and were well liked.
That blows your whole thesis out of the water.
Sounds like maybe you are painting your past with a revisionist brush in order to feel better about yourself....I think there are some merits to your points about physical characteristics...but like I said I was in in the chess club, played sports, had friends of all predilictions and was well liked.
Obehave
· 8 months ago
Don't you spell that "predilections"?
You, good sir, are what I would refer to as a case-and-point of what happens when popularity goes to you head. By the way, using 2 advanced words in your post, does not actually mean you are eloquent or intelligent. Have a nice one;)
RationalThought
· 9 months ago
This article was definitely to loooong. However, probably the two most salient points are: 1) Popularity is proportional to "level of conformity" and the more conformist the more popular and 2) the smart people who could think for themselves and analyze the behavior of the "in crowd" as the ridiculous drivel it is and choose not to participate in it are condemned for by the conformists. Kind of like the Republicans and Limbaugh's "ditto heads" who ridicule the Progressives who point out how the conformist policies of the past decades have failed and are suggesting a more "intelligent" analytical approach to government. Conformist sheep must condemn rational self analysis otherwise they would have to admit they are incapable of independent thought. In the end it is up to independent thinkers to provide the innovation that drives the technical, social and political advances our society needs to survive. Hooray for the nerds who persevere and don't submit to the "comformist" Bullsh!t.
Spoom
· 9 months ago
This article is awesome. I remember I read it shortly after graduating from high school (or was it shortly before?) and only wishing I could have read it sooner.
By the way, exceptions don't "blow his thesis out of the water". There are always exceptions; this is what it's like for *most* people in *most* places.
denny
· 9 months ago
You goddam nerd
313t3 5k33t
· 9 months ago
at my school most nerds are raging homosexuals...
313t3 5k33t
· 9 months ago
are u gay? tee-hee.... butt pirate.
Marshall | bond Christian
· 9 months ago
Most likely, no one will read this comment, save perhaps the author. However, I shouldn't leave without saying thank you. Thank you for offering a different perspective. This is one of the best articles I've read in the past couple months (and I read a lot of articles).
Marshall Jones Jr.
Will
· 9 months ago
I have about two months of incarceration left at my school (a public school) and I would like to thank you for hitting the nail on the head with this essay. Everything you have said is so true about public school and the teenage social hierarchy. I am glad to know that I am not the only one who feels this way about the parallel "life" set up for teenagers in suburbia and in public schools. I must also say that I am proud to be a nerd.
Jake
· 9 months ago
Brilliant.
Alice
· 9 months ago
This essay is too too long, and gets ridiculously redundant at many points. It's a shame, because the actual thesis regarding so-called "teenage depression" is a good and insightful one. It felt like digging through one of those 1000 layer birthday gifts, though.
jj
· 9 months ago
absolutely brilliant.
knurD
· 9 months ago
dis is super awesome. this piece of literature simply solved all the questions i personally had in a jiffy. Brilliant!!!
essm
· 9 months ago
i stumbled onto this article by accident, and it's something i wish i had the chance to read in high school. overall, it was very well thought out and would make excellent reading material for a classroom. it also makes me want to play a role in changing the system. i feel fortunate that i am not so far out of school that i don't remember what it was like to be there.
Dominique De Vito
· 9 months ago
Thanks for this brilliant essay.
The different kind of students and their relationships are very well described; this matches well what I have seen while being at school. While reading, their interactions appear and then I have been able to see how the school pattern has emerged.
While reading, I have thought about René Girard - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ren%C3%A9_Girard - Professor of French Language, Literature, and Civilization at Stanford University - who has done a great work on imitation and victims. He is worth reading.
Waldorf schools are not better. I have attended one (in Germany) in the seventies and can attest that much.
There are of course differences in the 'official' culture as informed by the anthroposophic world view, that will lead to slightly different occasions when you are seen as teacher's pet. And to grade parents/families: the 'engaged' in school life, the middle mass, and the 'parkers' (who had little interest in Waldorf stuff but parked their children to get them a better education).
The Waldorf ideology of harmony (e.g., no principal, but endless discussions in the teachers' conferences that, according to our students representative, were usually won late at night by the teacher who was armed with the highest caffeine level and the most Steiner quotes) does breed a repression of aggression, which then finds subtler ways to express.
The doctrine of no grades and keeping kids of all degrees of smartness together in one class are a source of endless frustration for the smarter kids, and they last for about a decade.
No clear goals, fuzzy evaluation -- every management school will tell you what good that is. Plus a huuuuuge gateway for subjectivity on the teacher's side. (We had a 'class teacher' [i.e. the one who gives at least the first 2 hours every day and remains the same teacher for classes 1 to 9] at our school who seriously believed that kids with bright hair were of a fair character and the dark-haired were kind of evil. I am not making this up, it appears to be backed up by some obscure passages in Steiner's works. Imagine the impact on the little souls... And, as a side note: Search the web for Steiner's racist tendencies -- "root races" that are earlier stages of mankind that legitimately have to get extinct!)
Imagine the bore while the teacher explaining some chemistry or physics experiment 2 or 3 days in a row when you have understood it on day one, or even could predict the outcome before it was performed... Or reading a huge brick in the German class in 20-pages chunks, then you have to answer questions about that piece next day, but you can't -- because you read the whole damn thing in the first days (I sometimes read up to 750 pages/day). I am grateful to that German teacher who understood that I was not being lazy after I showed him that I had set out to work on my own: extracted a complete (!) genealogy of every character from 'Parzival', plus an etymology of every personal name in that book. When I had it finished he copied my work for his job :-) )
Fortunately my town had a university and a city library to feed my curiosity -- but, my, was I a repressed, inauthentic, and lonely kid in an oh! 'so socially aware' Waldorf school!
The nature of the theoretical basis of Waldorf schools, the fuzzy doctrine, the mass of originals sources to pick the quote you need for your power game, the lack of clear-cut rules, hierarchies and authorities, this all just adds much, much more in degrading tendencies than the little advancements can make up for. (...and the latter have mostly been integrated into non-Waldorf schools anyway. Waldorf schools have been founded as a reaction to the deepest materialism period, and have evolved very slowly since.)
hello
· 9 months ago
this is deffently long
yen
· 9 months ago
Stumbled upon by accident, however, must say that I was totally engrossed. I'm an asian student studying in the UK (Uni) at the moment, these things however do not appear in uni but definitely something I noticed elsewhere. It was truly a fascinating read. However, as I am of asian background and my upbringing and school life must have been so different. Anyway, I digress. This motivated me to now search for some articles on the differences between eastern and western school hierarchy
john howard
· 9 months ago
shabang
Marios Nikolaidis
· 9 months ago
Great essay mate. Amazing how much our opinions and views coincide about secondary school life.
KATYGURL11
· 8 months ago
eew who would write something like that but not only write it but then put it online -LoZeR-
Anonymous
· 8 months ago
Case in point, I'm afraid. :)
kait;lyn
· 8 months ago
at least he is honest jerk
Sheherezade
· 8 months ago
I just wish he had done it sooner. Having my Hell explained to me while I was still living it would have made the whole experience a little more bareable. Even though help is late I thank him by all my heart. I kind of brings closure.
Frank
· 8 months ago
Hey bitch, Shut the fuck up - if anyone wants to hear from an ass, they can fart.
WE DON'T WANT YOUR BULLSHIT OPINION!!!!
Physicist.
· 8 months ago
LOL i'm totally quoting you wherever I go in real life. :)
"If anyone wants to hear from an ass, they can fart." pure win lol
ANNONNUMOUS
· 8 months ago
Very nice essay, stuff in the US still happens like this and i'm at one of the best schools in the county. Thanks and I wish others would read this.
Derek
· 8 months ago
Very accurate, although I don't truly give a rats ass what everyone else at my school thinks about me, because they're retarded. Of course I will be more successful in life, I will make more than them, and live better than them. It seems to be a fair trade to me.
eterpah
· 8 months ago
I'm in high school now and have never really noticed the kids that are concerned about their grades being singled out to be picked on. being third in my class definantly takes a lot of time and while I don't have the time to attend all the parties or know the most people I have never had this lack of effort socially draw a lot of ridicule. While people often do not hang out with the nerds out side of school they are never anything but nice when they are around and the worst any sort tormment comes to is just ignoring them. Plenty of kids are picked but it tends to be the kids who let the torrment crush them. Since kids are looking for targets to tormment just to have someone to torrment the only quality of concern is how well the kid responds to such abuses. The things like being a nerd or fat are just the aspects used for the tormenting those characteristics do not cause the tormmenting. The only thng that causes it is to act genuinly hurt, upset, depressed, or angry about the tormmenting. If you just roll with the punches and laugh at yourself then a few of the old torments my hang around as jokes but the real onslaught will be focused on more fulfiling targets from wich it is easy to provoke a response that gratifies the tormentor.
DJ
· 8 months ago
Interesting coincidence - you're third in your class AND you provided at least three different spellings for "torment" ("torrment", "tormment", "tormenting" - not to mention at least a dozen other egregious spelling errors in your post).
I'm guessing you haven't observed the essay writer's experience with bullying and indifference to intelligence because you choose to split your time between your academic and social pursuits. Were you to focus on academia you might be first in your class. However, balance is key to happiness, and so I'm sure you'll be a very happy member of society. You'll never achieve anything spectacular, but you'll be happy.
I just wouldn't presume to equate your social experience with that of students who place excellence above balance. Such priorities might seem rather strange to you - indeed to most of us - but without such individuals we would still be living in trees. That's a fact.
Jedkins
· 8 months ago
Just wanted 2 say; Good pnts. eter... U just provoked a challenger :P
M.G.
· 8 months ago
wow, this is exactly like my old middle school, and now high school. Right on!
Steven
· 8 months ago
Very interesting article. I'm glad you took the time to write this and put it on the internet. If you had a pshyc degree to go with it, I'm sure this would make a great section in a "understanding teenagers" book.
I think teenagers are too much viewed as an unhuman creature. We need to stop assuming that teenagers are suppose to be that way.
You have a done a great job stating your case. I don't know what the answer is. But i'd be intersted to know if you propose a detailed solution to the issue. or possible solutions...
RS
· 8 months ago
I enjoyed reading this article – It represented a thoughtful perspective and a world view very different from my own. In High school I feel like I sat at the A table, in reality it may have been the B table but I never noticed.
I can’t remember ever picking on anyone, but I do recognize the fact that it would have been hard to invite a socially awkward “new friend” to hang out with the gang.
Looking back on high school I can see that there is a difference between being popular and having good friends. Most kids no matter how “nerdy” can find a hardy band of brothers (or sisters) to call their own.
Jason
· 8 months ago
Solution: Good grades plus: Play groups, basketball camps, soccer teams, skiing lessons, scout groups, church activity, plays, art class, etc...
A hyper-educated unhappy childhood is not the key to successful adulthood. Balanced happy successful children, make balanced happy successful adults. If it didn’t happen for you make sure it happens for your kids.
rajerino
· 8 months ago
on point, my friend.
Addy
· 8 months ago
Very interesting article. In my school I'm considered popular but, I know a lot of people who are smart and considered nerds. It's unfair becuase, people have feelings and shouldn't be judged by qualities and looks. I think the world would be better, just if popularity really wasn't real. Your article is very true.
Steven
· 8 months ago
You know the smart people not being popular thing isn't really true anymore. The beautiful cheerleaders and athletic types were the ones sitting in the advanced classes.... nowadays the eccentric types are outcast as people now have goals and ambitions that require a higher mentality than just acquiring good looks.
Lisa
· 8 months ago
Well put. I find your observation on the reality of the teenage existance very true to form. I wonder though where those few people that actually did fit into "both" groups would fall. I personally was not popular in the traditional football team sense, wasn't a freak, (not really anyway) and was possibly too smart to buy into stressing out about grades. I've always considered myself intelligent, and my friends and family support this belief. I got along with people and didn't get along with people pretty much indiscriminately. If I thought that someone was a jerk, then I treated them like one. If I thought they were a good person to be around, then I maintained a friendship. In fact I've found that I'm more disgusted by popularity now, in the real world than I ever was in school.
D
· 8 months ago
You have definitely captured the essence of the life of nerds, as well as most teenagers throughout highschool. You support the fact that I believe that life works on a basis of equal exchange. Position of popularity = (how much you care) - (how much you don't care) In order to get something, you have to give something else up. That is also true when applied to the so called nerds. As you said, they must give up the possible seat of being popular to maintain their seat of intelligence. Of course, there are ALWAYS exceptions, but that of course comes with the usual unfairness of life.
Lucia Rotger
· 8 months ago
Maybe this happens in the USA. This is sad. Europe is a very different story, but different or not, I find the whole prison idea is too bitter to be taken into consideration and I think you might be terribly mistaken there. Now I'd like to tell you how was my school period. My school was not cheap, but it was by no means exclusive; we were 2,280 kids ranging from pre-school to 18 year-old. It looks to me like you didn't realize it was an opportunity to learn extra-curricular subjects and hang out with other smart kids. Hey, *we* humored the thick guys and they came to us to ask for math/physics questions. I was in no way popular and never went to a single party, but I was left alone, I was not an outcast, instead I kept myself apart from the immature/stupid people, whether they were kids or teachers, and sought the company of my ilk. I had fun. In a nerd kind of way, of course. I had two fights, one I won, the other I lost. I had trouble with stupid teachers, one even threw me out of class for asking something he couldn't answer. But I never got picked on. The bullies picked on everyone, not just smart kids, come to think of it, stupid kids are an easier target. I cannot relate to school being a horrendous place.
Silver Drake
· 8 months ago
I agree with the whole nerd part. This does happen in Canada, but not on such a grand scale. Actualy, it happens rarely at my school. It isn't really that serious. But the schools (and teachers) are (as far as I understand) fine.
James Sheckwith
· 8 months ago
well said! I never particularly thought myself as a 'nerd' in secondary school, but i did understand the social hierarchy that seemed to engulf everyone. As you said, it's kill or be killed.
I was probably a B/C in your lunchtime hierarchy, but even as that level i completely agree with your school = daytime prison hypothesis. Mass education just seems like a way to conform most people to a generalised way of thinking, unless people are smart enough to think otherwise (the nerds of course!)
And what is most amazing, is that you see these people who appear to be so 'popular' in secondary/high school (i'm from the uk), and where are they now? the bulk of the popular kids in schools are the ones who have low paid jobs or who are in middle management, because they are unable to make that adjustment.
I sort of did see through school as a teenager, but not enough to let myself become tangled up in the system to some degree. It's pretty impossible not to become focused on it to a certain extent, considering the peer pressure and social intensity to become someone 'better' within the prisonlike society of the schoolyard.
I am now in college and thankfully the social hierarchy has diminished to a certain degree. While there is always a hierarchy in society as you said, in college it is dependent on skills you possess (e.g. music/journalism) and how you perceive yourself. The 'popular' social form is still there, but, thankfully, it is less prominant.
now all the formal stuff i wanted to say is out the way i'll end with: ywah that writing was sick!!
paul van den Bergen
· 8 months ago
I agree with almost everything you have said - and the bit's I'm iffy on are not important - well done.
One thing I've noted that seems not to be mentioned - especially with respect to girls - is cruelty and teasing - especially verbal teasing... My daughter has started preschool and we have seen it at crèche!!! The kids are really vicious to each other, especially verbally.. At crèche and preschool/prep level it's "you can't play with me, you're not invited to my party" level but it's just the start and it is relentless.
I have some theories I'd like to propose to explain this...
One is that it is part of establishing the pecking order - if you put others down you go up. another is that it's self entertainment or entertainment for the local cohort. yet another is that it makes the kid feel potent, important and makes others fear them.
none of these are mutually exclusive mind you - I would be interested in your thoughts...
I'm especially interested in working out how I can arm my daughter(s) against this... they re both bright kids - luckily they will also do team sports and are quite pretty which should help, but any skills or tricks would help...
note: don't want them to be "popular". Want them to avoid excessive creulty...
ANNOYMAS
· 8 months ago
I'm only a grade away from middle school, but already I have seen this on websites I get on.I think the world would be better if they called the popular people the nice and good people.It would be better to call the mean people the nerds, but then we would have all been popular or nerdy before right?We've all been mean and we've all been nice.Beauty should be judged the same way as well.
regina
· 8 months ago
i think this is untrue, fortunately for me i was in the popular three, we were seen as the mean girls, but we were not horrible to the "nerds" simply others who wanted to be like us wouldnt tollerate the nerds, so they could be seen as respected by us. its sad but i suppose if your born with looks, and yoursporty and your intelligent, then you cant go wrong. I had that and everyone says to me how come your so lucky and others just get hte bad luck no matter how hard they try. i suppose you either got it or you aint.
Physicist.
· 8 months ago
You really need to re-learn elementary school grammar.
I'm sure your sporty and your good looking and your intelligent and your lucky and didnt go wrong.
I'm sure people either got it or ain't.
Actually, scratch that. YOU'RE an undeserving elitist bimbo. YOU'RE the mediocre loser working a middling, unimaginative 9 to 5. YOU'RE stupid enough to have forgotten grade school-level grammar by the time of your writing.
"you either got it or you aint"? First of all, I have no idea what you mean by this because, colloquialisms aside, "ain't" refers to a condition and not a fact. You're comparing two incompatible phrases. But I guess YOU'RE too stupid to realize it. Oh well ^^.
anonymous
· 8 months ago
nerds are unpopular because they dont do extracurricular activities, which lowers there social level..
Eric
· 8 months ago
Wow. Amazing. I was definitely a nerd in High School--graduated first in my class, but felt alone and sad from Junior High through graduation. Just once, I would have liked to have thrown the touchdown pass or dated the hot cheerleader. I often felt invisible or an afterthought. Strange thing though, as in the article, it is temporary.
There is a light out there if you stay true to yourself and never allow yourself to feel ashamed of being smart. Long story short, I became a doctor, married a beautiful lady that would never have given me a second look when I was in high school. Ironic isn't it? Funny thing is she was the Prom Queen at her high school and I didn't even attend my Prom--couldn't even get a date. Now I have kids and they are in 5th and 6th: and, I worry.
As a parent, I don't want them to feel uncomfortable and inadequate. I simply tell them to be themselves and hold their heads high. I also tell them to believe in themselves and before you know it the tough years will be over. But one thing is for sure--life is short. There are so many wonderful things to learn and see to dwell on those insignificant things that in the end will be forgotten or won't matter a bit in the grand scheme of life.
Anonomys
· 8 months ago
I agree. I am a 14 year old nerd with an IQ higher than anyone he's met and for some odd reason I don't fit in. I don't do any of the "no no's" of teenagehood such as bragging, farting, saying stupid things without it being a joke, Im not a perv, but I just don't try to rank it up the ladder. The only thing that is "bad" about me is that I used to be overwhieght when I was yonger and I just do better than other people on tests in every subject (except spanish)
stephanie
· 8 months ago
If you really were as smart as you say, you would be able to spell "anonymous". Seriously, you don't even know how to spell previous! Hard to believe you scored higher than 50% of seniors on the SATs. I'm smart, and I'm popular. There's a lot of popular smart people at my school. It has nothing to do with whether you're smart or not, it's all about your attitude. Some people are just WEIRD. Geesh.
Physicist.
· 8 months ago
... yet you refer to yourself in the third person.
It's cool. You're 14; when I was 14, I was cocky as hell and I thought I was better than everyone else (I was also picked on). In the latter part of high school it gets alot better, and you'll end up being respected by your peers (my school was a shitty school, so when I got a 1600 on my SAT I and won the NMSQT [with a score of 235 in junior year], the school administration was all over it and my name was all like... plastered on the front lawn bulletin thing).
You'll get over your cockiness. You won't know what I'm talking about until later on.
By the way, I'm 22, and in my first year of medical school (majored in physics). If it's one thing that I'd like to say: GO TO MEDICAL SCHOOL OR LAW SCHOOL. With the way technology is improving, employment opportunities become scarcer and scarcer. The only fields of study where employment opportunities are in constant demand are medicine and law.
Anonomys (same as previose
· 8 months ago
and I have arleady scored higher on the SATs than more than 50% of seniors
Kaleb Barrett
· 8 months ago
Wow. What an amazing essay. Finally someone who sees the system and not the dull flesh surrounding it. I'm 14 and I guess i could be classified as a nerd, but really I just see barbaric nature of high school, popularity, and conformism. Do you ever give speeches at schools? Disregard that last question, the people who are trying to imprison you don't want you to ask questions or speak down on them. HYPOCRISY!!!! What really bugs me is the middle and high school students who posted below that don't know how to spell "anonymous".
Physicist.
· 8 months ago
For a 14 year-old, you certainly write coherently. Bravo, and by no means am I being sarcastic. I remember when I was 14; I couldn't write well at all. You could fix a bit of your grammar though; you WILL be tested on that stuff on the writing portion of your SAT I (... is the middle and high school students"; is should be are here ;))
Ben
· 8 months ago
Even in college I feel it. Except replace "sports" with "ability to drink beer."
Tardigrade
· 8 months ago
The first half of your essay I found completely foreign to my Middle School and High School exerience (and I was "smart" enough for gifted classes, and didn't participate in sports outside of orienteering in junior ROTC, and was mildly overweight). But the last half I almost completely identify with (beginning with: "Another problem, and possibly an even worse one, was that we never had anything real to work on").
"As jobs become more specialized, we have to train longer for them."
It's not even that. I have an A.S. and work in biotech - with the current kits out there half of what I do is easily do-able by an average high school student. And yet, it isn't done by high school students, it's done by people with associates degrees or bachelor's degrees, and sometimes by the Ph.D.s who like hands on lab work.
It's the chauvanism of those who have passed through academia saying that comparatively menial tasks are part of a job that involves more specialized tasks, and that you won't be hired to do the menial (learning, "apprentice-like" tasks) unless you've gone through schooling that means you hypothetically know how to do the more specialized tasks as well. For the most part what I do is easy, and I learned almost all of it from on the job protocols, not from college classes.
Response to the first half of your post:
Maybe the gifted classes in middle school (which selected for a relative diversity of "smart" people) insulated me against outgroup pressure.
In HS I was socially oblivious; was only basically aware of groups that may or may not have been "cliques". The people I tended to eat lunch with were of the grunge/trenchcoat crowd. I on and off ate lunch (and played Magic:TG) with them throughout all 4 years of HS, and only in the last semester of my senior year did I find out some of them smoked marijuana (which blew my mind and sundered my sense of reality - the knowledge of having been that oblivious).
The summer after my senior year I met one of the people probably considered fairly popular (pretty sure she was a cheerleader) when she was a teller at a bank. I had heard her name from a friend (which is why I knew her), but really hadn't even noticed her throughout HS. At the bank this person who was a cheerleader knew who I was by sight, and I only knew her name after she told me, and her face from having occasionally seen her in school. She seemed like a very nice and pleasant person.
I guess either there really weren't strong "popular cliques" in my high school (in a Navy shipyard town), or I only paid attention to people I was compatible with than whatever the intraschool rankings of any particular person was.
"And that's why smart people's lives are worst between, say, the ages of eleven and seventeen."
My life didn't fall apart until college, where a lack of curricularly-oriented study skills was the killer.
"Unfortunately, to be unpopular in school is to be actively persecuted."
Being slightly over 6 foot tall at an adult height (and never on the short or scrawny side) may have spared me persecution. My parents were fairly upper-middle-class, with a 3000+ square foot house on 120' of waterfront. I don't know if this knowledge got around to other kids, but if it did maybe their relative wealth made me something other than a nerd to be picked on as well.
I remember being verbally harassed by a kid in HS - for some reason we were both called into the vice-principal's office, where I ended up saying to the VP (in front of this other kid - pre-Columbine) that he was the only person I had feelings of wanting to kill. After that we got on well - no more harassment or anything of the sort. The only other time I've been verbally "persecuted" was as a college sophomore by this a**hole freshman. Was already having serious difficulty and eventually dropped out (not due to him). I doubt he was picking on me because I was smart or whatever, but probably (I think in retrospect) because I unintentionally insulted him early on (during a game of Magic:TG).
Tardigrade
· 8 months ago
I'm almost positive I responded to this essay 3 or more years ago - it seemed vaguely familiar while writing my current response.
Alice Smart
· 8 months ago
Hey im 15 and from England, I can Totally relate to what you are saying, its the same at my school, although not as bad, i Am Quite popular, Just about, and very smart and can relate to what you are saying about its not coincedence that your either a nerd or popular i try to balence my school work with sports and friends its exahsting, trying to be sucesfull and have friends now and yet still prepare for the future, it was nice to read this and get a good prespective on things, Thanks Alice :)
Joel Brook
· 8 months ago
Hmmmmm kind of any annoying post. For those who wish to kill them selves at high school due to been "unpopular" do it quietly as to not disturb the rest of us, it is your life, have fun. As for all the below posts stating "i wish i had that" eurgh you must of had boring lives! As i am only 20 my self and just started universify i can only vaguely use the term "life". "life is what you make it" if you believe you had a hard life because you were so much smarter than every one else then you are infact a stupid individual. We all die so have fun with what you have. If your ugly, so what, thats who you are, if you cant handle that then get rich and buy plastic surgury ;). In the end you only have one shot and it seems alot of you missfired. Your problem for having bad aim.
Physicist.
· 8 months ago
Sure, you just started "universify", lol
From your post, I get this dull pain in the back of my right eye, probably because I realize that I have just spent 15 seconds reading something that had a lot to say about nothing.
Good luck being mediocre. The writer of this article has made some excellent, valid points, and the reasons you cite for disagreeing with him (e.g. none at all) are completely insufficient to debunk him.
Also, please post something only if you have anything meaningful to say. You state that you have an opinion, but you never actually say what it is.
Max Powers
· 8 months ago
Fuck you, Joel. You have no perspective of life beyond your own.
Kyle
· 8 months ago
Hey, I am 16 and a sophomore in Central New York, and I am experiencing the worst of high school right now. I am considered a nerd, and almost looked down on, but I have enough personability to hang w/ the "average" kids. I am a good athlete, but my problem is that my humor is so off color compared to everyone else's at my school. I refuse to bring myself down to the level of everyone else by making fun of people, and that wasnt a problem until last year, when, after junior high, everyone just decided that nothing is funny unless u r completely destroying someone. Also, nobody likes the clothes I wear, but they arent really weird or anything, nor is this the central problem. Basically, I have no idea why I am unpopular. I am nice to everyone, but tough, as most people know because I have kicked ass on the wrestling team, and I am in other sports, not to mention (and not to be arrogant) but I am pretty ripped from all the weightlifting I do. Also, I am pretty good looking, talk to girls, and I play guitar. I am in 3 AP classes next year so I can get away from all the ass holes, but I really have no idea why I am a target. I am a jacked, tough, athletic, hard rock liking, teenager, who refuses to make other kids feel like shit, and has an extremely gifted mind. My interests are everything, hunting, fishing, trapshooting, history, reading, baseball, wrestling, weight-lifting, etc. To me it seems like the jocks, some arent even GOOD at sports, are the losers, not me. Yet, I am labeled as a loser. I do not understand. In short, why has their already not been a rebellion by the nerds and such against the system if so many kids are so miserable. I feel frustrated that even though I beat the jocks at almost everything but humor, goofing off in class, and being an a hole, I am looked down on. I happen to like history, but that does not mean I am a nerd, these stupid immature kids refuse to respect everyone as a unique individual.
PLEASE SOMEBODY RESPOND: I need some positive reinforcement, and someone to tell my why I am considered a nerd (by the way I don't even get along with or hang out with the nerds, tho i hav nothing against them). Also, sorry this post was so long, but I needed to vent.
Fred
· 8 months ago
hey, I experienced the same thing as you up to 16 years. I was a nice guy, I never made fun of the others because i knew what they fell ( i was a nerd at elementary school) and I was one of the class clowns always trying to make people laugh. But this was not enough, even for my best friend. He always tryed to make me feel like shit so he could feel good in front of the others, and at that time i didn't understand. One day when we were in the locker room after physical education classes, he lowered me in front of everyone. Since that day, I sank into a melancholy because whatever i did, people weren't nice and joyful with me, they were always mean and criticizing me even if i gave them the best time of their day. So i started to stop joking around and i stopped to be friendly with everyone. And then, people didn't understand what was happening with me, they started wandering why i was beggining to be sa mean with everybody and that's when people started to be nice with me. The point is, from that day i realize how the world worked, be nice to everybody and they will eat you up. Be mean and cruel and people will beg pardon. That's what i was thinking at the time, but at your age the world just work that way, that's what i think. Especially girls( in general ) want to get out with badboys, the only girl i wanted in high school didn't give a shit about my feelings for her ( but i was her beast friend ) till i began to treat her like shit and after that she wanted to get out with me..(i never went out with her) That's the way high shool work. NOW for the POSITIVE PART.. Kyle, i just want to tell you, don't get discouraged, you'r in your worst years, don't change yourself, the future is brighter(and it's true). After i understood how people work, i started to be myself again, nice and friendly with people, because i knew that the majority of people are imbecile and don't understand true friendship. Kyle, don't give a fuck about others asshole and get a good group of friends because it is better to have a short number of quality friend then a bunch of friend that dosen't worth shit. Popularity is just temporary, intelligence will bring you almost everything you want in life if you use it right. I am now 18, and life is much easier now, people start to be `adults`. Till the age of 21-22 girls will go out especially with badboys, and when they will want kids, and a good husband, the asshole at highschool will only gets shit. SO DON'T DISCOURAGED. Trust me.
Joel Brook
· 8 months ago
Why is he in his worst years? because you had a bad experience? instead of been "emo" and closing up, how about letting your self out?
Fred
· 8 months ago
There's a big difference between being a emo and closing up. I just realize how the people around me were and i change the way i felt for them. It could be different in other high school, but in my high school people were more self-conscious then open to people, so they just didn't gived a shit about others exept themselves. Even if i ``Letted myself out`` people wouldn't have giving a shit about what i said. The truth a lot of people in high school have no conscience and a lot of them are stupid. Just look at how many people leave school before they have gratueted or the average person. A lot of them are imbecile and selfish. And this is part of high school because when u enter university, does dumbass aren't there anymore and you get to meet brigther people, who will become the next generation of high salary individual in society and the ones who lead the world
Fred
· 8 months ago
( I am doing alot of generalization up here)
Trish
· 8 months ago
I think it is true that this is an artificial world. I was on the cusp of being popular in High School. The boys liked me and the popular girls thought I was *sweet* until I became a threat to them...my own friends weren't happy that I chose to go to the popular parties, I was usually a date of some guy. So I tread water in both worlds. Inevitably I made everyone mad at me. Looking back, I don't think I was trying to be popular, I didn't see why I couldn't float around from group to group and be friends with everyone. I am still in contact with my own nerdy friends, and some of the popular ones who weren't jerks. Interestingly, I got a very intense email from a very popular boyfriend of mine talking about his life at home. He slept with a gun under his bed to protect himself from his violent abusive stepfather...I never KNEW that!!??? This was Mister Populartiy that everyone loved...another old boyfriend who was very popular never graduated college, and still lives in the glory days of the past... I think it helps to have some perspective, like 20 years!! So hang in there! You really are in a controlled experiment type environment. All I can say is IT GETS BETTER after you graduate. I wish I could give you a crystal ball so you can see yourself in ten years, I think it would help! You care about what others think, and that is good to a certain extent, but care about yourself more, your feelings are valid and you are an important person. Most importantly remember that God loves you! He knew you before you were born, he has plans for YOU! I don't know what those are, only you can find out.
H
· 8 months ago
Kyle, I think you are considered a nerd because you are smart and not one of the idiots who refuse to talk to people who are not as good-looking or smart as they are. Creepy as this may sound, you kind of seem like the perfect guy and I bet in 10 years time you will be unbelievably sucessful I hate how sports orientated my school is, there are numerous awards for sporting but very few academic prizes . . . but I suppose that's the way things are. I used to want to be popular, until my friend became popular and I was given some insight into the falseness of that world. In the end I would rather be obsessed with things like math and Harry Potter than Paris Hilton and Reality TV.
brian
· 8 months ago
hey man i'm a sophomore too and i feel for you bro
i'm basically a nerd. i'm in all honors classes and all that stuff. you know, AP Euro, honors english, everything. I get A's in almost everything (I don't want to sound arrogant haha. sorry). And I play guitar in this band, we're called Von Chalant (not that the name matters) and we're like the most popluar band in school. No joke. And it's weird cuz i'm one of the best guitarists in school, i play in jazz band, so i'm friends with all the band nerds, but everyone in my band is more popular than I am. Our drummer is a pothead, our bass player is a football player, our singer is kind of a prep, and our keyboard player is a hilrious class clown. But don't get me wrong, I'm really good friends with them and we make really good music together and we all enjoy each other's company. The keyboard player is also in jazz band and is an incredibly intelligent musician. And I don't really feel these clique differences when I'm onstage with them. It's just that well, they all seem like cool, rebellious teenagers to me and i feel like a skinny smart kid who's just dressed up like a teenager. At all our concerts the popular girls and guys from school come to see us, because that's who the rest of the band is friends with. But i'm sort of not... My friends are more like me.
And once i got to know these "popular kids" a little better because of my priviledged band position, I found out that they're not bad people. They just are a part of the system that brands people as inferior to them.
But when i read your comment i really feel for you bro. Like you have even more redeeming qualities than me and you still get labeled. So what I think is that it's the system's fault, not yours. But don't lose sleep over being popular man, it's propbably not worth it in the long run. Just try to have good friendships with the people you love and do what you like to do and remember that life is short. It's really important not to waste the time you have on things that you don't care about
Don't feel bad man. You're better than you think you are
Kyle
· 7 months ago
Ya, like sometimes I feel down about it but usually I just feel really really really pissed... and clueless. But like, it makes me pissed that the people that are ass holes to me I am better than in almost every way (not to be arrogant) but also Icould beat the living shit out of them. I guess im not really looking for answers, just venting.. like the guitar though, what music do u play? (3 doors down, velvet revolver etc.) (looking to join a band)
kendra
· 7 months ago
hey kyle, my name is kendra and i am 20. soon to be 21 (yay!) and you have nothing to worry about... you are so put together! oh my gosh when i was in high school if someone would have asked me to describe myself the way you did i would be speechless! i would never be able to say out loud (or even in print for that matter) that i am smart! or nice or fun (all of which i am, by the way.) i wish i would have read this article back when i was in high school... shoot i wish someone had just told me that high school is not life. i worked constantly when i was in school cuz my parents were poor and i had to pay for my school supplies and clothes and stuff... from the time i was 14 i had two jobs. i worked full time at a telemarketing place and i worked cleaning hotel rooms on the weekend. so i had absolutely no time to have friends. i wasn't picked on or anything i was just always left out of things.... even the few friends that i did have stopped asking me to hang out cuz i was always so unavailable.
but now that i think of it i think i was told a time or two that high school isn't life... it's just that, when you're a teenager, it's hard to accept that from someone much older... like a parent or something. i wish i could've talked to a college age person...
the biggest thing that i had a problem with in high school was my self image/ self esteem. i was molested at a young age and as a consequence i felt worthless, shameful, ugly and dirty. so i never really reached out to anyone for anything. i never really went out on dates with boys, or hung out with friends. i can count on one hand the number of times i went to the movies. i never went to peoples houses or had anyone over....and people thought that was the way i was because that was the way i wanted to be. but in my heart i am a true extrovert. i love to be around people. i love socializing and talking with friends. that is when i am the happiest. so you can imagine how miserable i was being all withdrawn and quiet... throwing myself into work at such a young age. when i got out of high school i moved 30 miles down the interstate. 30 miles. that's it. and i was in a new universe! apparently i am cute! (so they say... i had no clue!) and i am funny i tell good jokes! and i'm fun to be around and a good friend. i like to give advice to my friends and decorate houses all of which i did not know about myself. i didn't even know who i was in high school... i don't think many people really do. except for you. you have an amazing grasp on who you really are... you really understand the way things are in the real world. which is why i think you have such a hard time understanding the way things work in high school.. i don't know what advice to give you so i will offer none. just know that i admire you for being honest about who you are. and i love that you recognize and agknowlegde your positive traits. because believe me there are plenty of us out there who are so eff'd up we can't even see the good in ourselves. i am just happy for you that u know who you are.
take care and you'll get there
marbin
· 7 months ago
same situation when i first entered high school among the juniors. i feel you mate, find a social group you are comfortable with who accept you and disregard the disrespectful thats all i can say.
immigrant -woman
· 5 months ago
Here kid my advice to you as woman from her 50. I am give you a good advice. Be yourself don't worry that someone or 10 kids need to like you or you are unpopular I never thought about it in your age I had only one good girle friend
You are not Hollywood actor to be popular you are lacking your self confident character??I read this site because my husband is nerd and I tried to study from you about nerds. I was born not in
this country and I was always respected and boy-girl at my school and kids very scary of me because I was so independent and sporty. I beat up 2 girls and they never tried again. Be yourself who you are .Do best Don't please everyone. Stop to use these worthless jokes if people find them not good. Clothes, use just like everyone don't make different, make fashion, so nobody will judge you harshly.Find that complement your personality kid,good luck
bob
· 8 months ago
Dude thanks this really helps i was in a dark place but this really clears it up i hope you can help some other people
charles
· 8 months ago
hmm, quite.
Steve
· 8 months ago
In Asia, nerds rule in high school. I'm so lucky. :-)
Zara Anne
· 7 months ago
This Is Really USeful Thank You So Much I am A Nerd Myself An I Am Proud
Jory
· 7 months ago
Great read,I loved it. I am 15 at the moment, and live in Australia. I think that the map of whos 'it' and who isn't doesn't apply to my school or any for that matter in Australia. We seem to have friendship groups. People can be a part of more than one, but in most cases they belong to one. A good list of groups in Year 9 is listed below
Popular Girls (Yeah, you know what I mean) Athletes (Macho, guys in the U.S call them jocks) Middle Class (More popular than unpopular) Lower Middle (More Unpopular than Popular) -Me Lower (Nerds)
In Aussie schools a funny thing I have noticed is that Lower Middle and Lower are not picked on like you said about nerds. The popular kids really just don't want to have anything to do with them, so they do not waste time with them
There are many sub-groups such as band (ME!) and Nerds etc
I have made my niche as that 'Grunge' kid who listens to Nirvana and Alice In Chains lol. For some reason Kurt Cobain's angsty lyrics appeal to me.
My favorite quote is 'I'd Rather be dead than cool' by Kurt Cobain and for some reason I dislike the popular clan. I do not want anything to do with them. I remember playing Nevermind in the band room with a bandmate. We had the stereo on full blast and put the mike to the speaker and the music blasted throughout the entire school lol.
Kyle
· 7 months ago
ya, like, my problem is I don't get along w/ anyone really well enough to really be a great friend, because nobody has any sincerity, all they care about in high school is themslves. So nobody seems to care about me, but Im the type of guy that when I look for a girlfriend, or best friend, etc. I want them to be the type of person that would die for me, because I would do the same for them. But no one at my school is like that, and all the half decent looking girls are A. Stupid, and B. Super Shallow. I get really angry about it, and I hold my temper in check, but everyone that dares make fun of me I could kick the shit out of. I guess I dont understand how doing drugs and not getting good grades to set yourself up to be rich someday is cool. I only got two years left so then itll be over (I hope, how is college?) and I think I want to go to college out west or south to get away from here because I am just sick of all this shit. I mean, I get along with adults, but the way I dont understand kids, even my own friends, makes me feel like autistic or something.
marbin
· 7 months ago
I'm 15 and in Australia and despite being in yr 10 have established close friendship with yr 11s and 12s. Social groups at our school are somewhat different being senior(some 10s, 11s and 12s)/junior(8s, 9s and some 10s) rather than populars/nerds. There are then divisions among the juniors as to the loud ones, the ones that play cricket and footy, the broad group of everything, the mad gamers/nerds, the ones who smoke and the complete retards. However these divisions are then broken as their schooling life progresses into yr 11 where many just drop out of school or realise they must change attitudes. Seniors tend to respect people more and often dislike juniors and juniors while many juniors look up to seniors. Its really confusing and strange. I have been friends with seniors since i first came in yr 8 mainly because of my attitude which is why i am often left hanging when the 12s graduate. The situation is always changing. In senior, everyone mixes regardless of how smart you are, athletic abilities, creative abilities etc...
Psychologist
· 7 months ago
Psychological problems block nerds and lead them to incorrect conclusions.
Kyle
· 7 months ago
I hate it when psycholigists try to figure teenagers out like we all just have a handbook or something.
Psychologist
· 7 months ago
Not only teenagers, but article writers too. Me too. Almost everybody. There's nothing to be afraid of, apart from the lack of people who know how to solve these problems.
Kyle
· 7 months ago
I am not a nerd, but people view me as one because I refuse to be a complete ass hole, what I do not get is how everyone worships jocks, which I see as drugees and losers. I am not a guy that simply stays home and studies allnight, Im just driven, so Im good or OK pretty much everything, yet people only see my smarts. Any help from Mr. Psychologist?
Psychologist
· 7 months ago
You have to think a lot and deeply about many things. And think twice or more times when you reach conclusions that make you feel bad. Be careful with your mind while your thinking, it is not a perfect thinking machine and sometimes it thinks wrong and sometimes it thinks wrong due to things you can not imagine you have inside it. I can give you answers, but it would not be effective if you did not spend time reasoning about these things. Do people worship jocks? Everybody? Why do people worship jocks? Why do people worship something? What is worship? What is a jock? What is the point of being smart? What is the point of being a jock or a nerd? The important thing is to think well, if you are intelligent as it seems it will be easier for you.
Psychologist
· 7 months ago
Sorry for the typo "your thinking", I meant "you are thinking".
Kyle
· 7 months ago
its kk, im used to texting
Kyle
· 7 months ago
sorry but you are too calm, for being sixteen I am extremely deep. I do not reach wrong conclusions, people are just ass holes. This is why i hate psychologists (No offense, just my personal experiences) they always act like all u have to do is look the other way and the problem will go away, u need to fight back. Just to answer ur questions: 1. 95% of kids in my school worship jocks, or at least people they concieve to be jocks. 2.they worship them to further their social status 3.Worship is the idolization of something jock = hot chicks nerd = free college anything else?
Psychologist
· 7 months ago
There are more options, such as crying/complaining or destroy people. More interesting are try to convince them, think how to convince them, think if it is really important, think how to improve yourself. Problems exist in your mind, you can learn how to control them and not vice versa, you can even decide what a problem is. Think much more deeper and be patient. Think how to find the most intelligent people who can help you being more intelligent (teachers, entrepreneurs, etc.). Understanding is the key, not memorizing. Analyzing all little detail that happens around you will let you synthesize adequate plans in order to achieve your goals.
Kyle
· 7 months ago
synthesisng every detail would be a problem, because then you become a robot, and over react.
Psychologist
· 7 months ago
I think you can not stop being a human using all the power of your mind. But there are at least two kind of humans as you know according to the use of their brains. You labeled one of them as 'ass holes'. What is the difference between us and ideal robots? What is the difference between us and an animal? And what about a simple stone?
blah
· 7 months ago
ur a fucking loserb bro
Grateful
· 7 months ago
Thank you. Your words have saved me. I am indeed a nerd, currently in 9th grade and minutes ago seriously considering suicide. I am picked on by groups of, "Popular" people, the only people I feel I could connect to were Drug users/Rebels and now I understand why. Your words flow smoothly with messages that should shame those Educators and Parents into admitting that, "Yes that is right". Thank you for opening your mouth where many adults subconiously change the subject or dismiss the seriousness of the reality of School life. Thank you, thank you! I also thought the horrible aspects of my current high school life was due to hormones, THANK YOU, for teaching me that this information is wrong! I could kiss your feet! the gratitude I feel cannot be conveyed in words. This is perfect thing to shove down the mouth of anyone who says, "Its just hormones, Hon". Thank you-thank you-thank you!<3
Shara
· 7 months ago
You are my hero. You've clarified for me the jumble of thoughts I've had for years about what is wrong with the current school system. I read this essay in 2003 and once every couple of years ever since. I also keep passing it along to new people.
I'm concerned with several problems with the system. (Several hundred, but I'll just talk about a few.) The classes have nothing to do with real life. My father and I were discussing the subjects taught in high schools recently. We think it's disturbing that kids are pushed into Algebra II, but never have a class on household budgeting, managing savings, the different types of savings, and how to use credit cards responsibly, etc. I learned it all the hard way. (And I'm not talking about a half-hearted, one-week section thrown into Home Economics.)
I had to read tons of famous literary works, but no one taught me how to express myself clearly and concisely in my writing. What I was taught about proper punctuation went no further than when to use a question mark and when to use an exclamation point. I became an editor not knowing the first thing about editing. I learned from a fabulous supervisor. I took a three week course held at night in a high school classroom, offered to adults through the community college, from a poor-selling Christian novelist that taught me more about writing than several semesters of creative courses combined.
Their idea of career counseling is a joke, if they even bother to pretend to make an effort at career counseling. By the time I knew enough about the real world to see what kinds of job opportunities that were both interesting and *realistically* available to me, it was too late to go back to the beginning and get the education needed.
Something that always really bothered me was the lack of respect for the students. Guards don't respect prisoners, after all. Many teachers went out of their way to be degrading to students. They can be as bad at bullying as students. A teacher and the school administration destroyed my growing interest in sewing by treating me, an good student with a perfect record, like a criminal over missing equipment. A popular girl who disliked me told them I didn't take it and she saw who did. (Then they hinted that the popular girl was lying for me.) I wasn't allowed to sew on my project for a week during the whole mess, then I had to stay after school to catch up. I never received so much as an apology from anyone. What was this whole drama about? A missing bobbin case. Bobbin case = $9; killing a 13-year-old's pleasure in learning a new skill = priceless.
Ms. Geek
· 7 months ago
I'm an adult and this is still true. In a small town where everyone parties and no one works, the smart, motivated young people are treated like freaks. And singled out for "roasting." Thanks for your insight.
Professor Poopenstein
· 7 months ago
I AM A SUPER NERD IM GOING TO DESTROY THE WORLD!!!!!
Somebody
· 7 months ago
I agree with everything in this article, except the part about unpopular kids being bullied. In my personal experience, and I've gone to schools all over the country, popular kids either don't even notice nerds or else try to be nice but do so horribly patronizingly because they don't know any better. My favorite example was a cheerleader who told me that I didn't need to be invited to parties, I could just show up and meet people. This was on the same day I was thrilled to have a brush with popularity by overhearing complete strangers in the locker room discuss a party. I felt sad and humiliated, but she was honestly trying to help me get a social life. I couldn't admit that I didn't even know where parties were. I fell back on my favorite defense mechanism of pretending to be a dull nerd who was only interested in homework and didn't want to have fun anyway.
On the topic of spending one's teenage years in a system that requires one to sit down, shut up, and memorize vast amounts of useless information, I agree with you. That is absolutely the source of my problems with depression. I set my mental health goals based on the school calendar. I'm not doing accomplishing anything real, so I conclude that I'm a worthless human being who is incapable of doing anything real. I get a sadistic pleasure out of listening to "High School Never Ends". (Note: I consider all dedicated honors students, myself included, to be sadistic perfectionists. Some of us are diagnosable, the rest hide it to get our parents to stop worrying or, in opposite cases, telling us we're just lazy.)
Fortunately, I have planned an escape route once I make it through high school. Which I will do because I'm a sadistic perfectionist who has endured waaaay too much not to graduate with my 4.0. Instead of college, I will enlist in the armed forces. I procrastinate my more worthless assignments (the ones that aren't even helping me to learn the useless information) by browsing recruiter websites. My parents tell me that college isn't like high school, but I don't believe them. It's still school. They tell me I should look forward to being independent without having to worry about responsibilities. But it is the responsibility, and the knowledge that I am capable of being responsible for something, that I crave. And no, positions in boring school clubs that don't actually do anything and are run by teachers anyway do not count. I hate it when adults call that leadership. It is a weak substitute that is only attractive to resume-builders. Seriously, a girl campaigning for a position in the student government (which was absolutely powerless - elections were popularity contests among the college-bound) made a big deal out of saying it wasn't just for her resume, she thought it would be fun, too.
Niranjan
· 7 months ago
In my school, it was just the opposite. The smartest kids were also the most popular.
KarenKaren
· 7 months ago
It would be extremely helpful if you posted a citation for this. I'd love to quote you for some of my education and psychology papers.
Good In Bed.
· 7 months ago
i do not know what it would feel like to be unpopular because i have always been the smartest, prettiest, most liked from primary to high school..
I am insulted by the fact you are sitting here actually sticking up for nerds... They obviously have no place in the world... So let them be..
So summing up, im pretty much getting at, nerds are a waste of space... only beautiful smart people (like myself) have a place in this world.
Josh S.
· 7 months ago
Quite honestly, I disagree. Every type of person deserves a place in this world. Sure, the jocks and the preps live a high life of popularity, but if you look at things, they are also the ones who over-dramatize things in life. They also start drinking younger. If you look at the nerds, they seem much more rational about things. They can think things through. They don't need all the drama, and are focused on their schooling career. Also, most of the technology we cherish is created by such people. Take myself for example. I'm a 9th grader, and I will not deny it, but I am a nerd. I'm very smart, and almost an A-average student. However, this doesn't stop me from having a social life. I just don't look for drama and parties (though they are fun) and cliques and that stuff. (Unfortunately, no one really can escape drama.) If you ask me, I say its only a state of mind. If someone wants to do really well in school, they push their social lives aside and let academics be their forte. A social life takes the stage if someone wants to stand out from the crowd. Honestly, I say that a balance of both is best. So why people pick on nerds, and/or think that they are the bottom of the social food chain, is quite beyond me. Tangent aside, your comment is quite rude, no offense. To say that only beautiful smart people (as you claim, like yourself) have a place in the world is a highly conceited statement, and one that could create a useless argument. The world needs beautiful people, and smart people, and jocks, and preps, and druggies, and rejects, and emos, and goths, and all of their opposites. As I said, its a matter of balance, just like with academic and social lives. Point being, your comment is quite biased and conceited (and I quite disagree with your name for this). But also, in terms of this article, it really isn't exactly black and white, in terms of being a jock or a nerd. There are definite shades of grey. It is only a choice of choosing how to balance these things in life that enable you to determine the path you choose to take.
immigrant -woman
· 5 months ago
Very smart.
V
· 7 months ago
"Smartest," you say? No wonder why your post is filled with grammatical mistakes.
Stuck in the Middle
· 7 months ago
Wow. you are exactly the type of pretentious girl that most people secretly hate in high school, but gets by because everyone wants to get inside your pants. Congragulations, you just made a fool of youself and made what this guy is saying even more true.
FANTASTIC in bed
· 7 months ago
Unfortunatly there are so many problems with what you said I couldn't find the time, even if I was an imortal, to tell you them. So I'll summerize (that means shorten it up into points for ya!) By what you said, you just told the world that all you have are looks, and the only way you we're popular in Jr. High was being.............. how did you put it....oh ya "good in bed". Also smart people as you call them are usually more humble. Arrogance blinds intelligence. If there were no nerds there would be no chemists to make your whore like makeup, or your face wash, and how about shampoo, conditioner, and exfoliating creams and washes? No one!!!!! Nerds are the people behind all your products. Making you prettier so you can be on your 12 child at 25!
Mike
· 7 months ago
Wow! Your comment is... amazingly ignorant of the article that has been written. Well Done! Well I do hope that you ARE good in bed darling, because your clients are definantly not going to be paying for the conversation.
Alex
· 7 months ago
If only there were words to describe you. That comment alone shows that your a selfish moron who lives in a sanctuary of unreality. Take a look at what's happening in the world. Try war? Maybe Poverty? And here you are being an idiotic brainless wonder. Grow up, thats really all i can say to you.
(Directed At Good In Bed)
Alex
· 7 months ago
I forgot to ask, are you the cheap ass version of paris hilton?
immigrant -woman
· 5 months ago
I think she is.Even I am in my 50woman
immigrant -woman
· 5 months ago
Good man Good answer. First her name Good in bed it is a lot of slutty word. She is very average brain woman. I am almost 50 years and from another country. I was in overseas school not American and we never ever had a such problems of talking about our children and our fiends at school. Is this American type of discussion??? I was in poverty world I know what means have no food in this century and no second boots and one boots are just broken and no money to buy and weather is cold outside. I think American kids are never will mature it is so happy life and too much food and they all going to be too fat here??? Isn't that truth?They don;t have problems except to talk who is who or have sex at 11 years old? Is this a good culture or it is dead culture which is going to nowhere??Smart kids it is a gold of the country and it is nothi ng to do with popularity!!I wish I would be more smart and study and know English much better or math. I was always bad at math or another .My score was about between B or C To be smart it is a big plus and sport it is for health and it is good but it is just additional hobby friends Americans. Agree with this??
DB
· 7 months ago
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You have lifted a veil from my eyes by explaining and connecting a dark sea of vague inchoate thoughts and impressions of the worst years of my life.
Joey
· 7 months ago
I am in my last year of high school and an un-bullied version of the nerd you described. The main difference with me though, is that I was really aware of how asinine the "popularity contest" was. But never have any of these ideas been so clear, especially the root cause of the problem. I always knew Lord of the Flies was a good book, but of course our teachers never explained how good or why, and the writing was really dry... Wow. Now whenever someone goes on a rant about the system, I'll be able to contribute instead of saying, "No, I think it's alright, you just have to realize it's stupid and get through it."
Golden Child
· 7 months ago
It is obvious why nerds are unpopular. There are many different types of intelligences. Nerds are book-smart meaning that they excel in academia. But book-smarts are not everything. "Cool kids" are more street-smart, which means they have a much higher social intelligence than nerds. These types of social smarts include being confident and articulate as well as the abilities to dress well, have good hygiene, make new friends and engage in social activities gracefully. Street smarts also include the ability to relate to the opposite sex, handle your liquor and your experience with drugs (most commonly reefer). The difference between book-smarts and street-smarts is that you can't be taught how to be cool in a classroom from teacher. The inability for nerds to pick up street-smarts from their peers in informal social settings is the reason why nerds will always get their asses beat. Ultimately, humans are social animals. Nerds are book-smart geniuses, but they have room temperature IQ's when it comes to social interaction.
Sex God.
· 7 months ago
i totally agree with 'Good In Bed' i think her morals are so right and everyone should respect and follow what she says !
FANTASTIC in bed
· 7 months ago
I'm pretty sure what you meant was "HEY GOOD IN BED WANNA SLEEP WITH ME?"
Erica K.
· 7 months ago
Yep. I think that you're right about nerds not wanting to be popular because I know someone who is raelly smart but they are dead popular because they make themselves popular with their style and how they discuss things and they prove everyone that they have a shining personality and that's how they get tonnes of friends - absolutelty masses of friends.
Rose_Tea
· 7 months ago
While I don't agree with absolutely everything this essay says (partly because I am an Australian student, and we don't have such a highly stratified popularity system in many of our schools), this is really powerful, and on the whole so true. I myself am a nerd, and experienced so many similar problems as a middle school student.
I have noticed recently, though, that the idea of the nerd is becoming more accepted in schools. I have wondered if this is a result of an increase in successful nerds in the media, or because of TV shows and movies for teenagers that portray nerds as good. I am, in fact, writing an assignment on this at the moment. Alternatively, it might just be that I know alot of people like myself who have acknowleged the popularity contest and chosen not to participate.
c-dawg
· 7 months ago
good report dude i mean im one of the more popular kids in school right now but i would trade it all to be smarter the only way im getting into clooge is through sports but how is that going to help me in my future i know im not good enough to go pro every one thinks being popular is the best thing really its only good during highschool and your future well be nothing if all you got is popularity but me i would rather be playing sports than studying for a test.
algeeman
· 7 months ago
i'm in 7th grade and i just got a score of 285 on this math test. the standard for 10th graders is 243 on the same test. smart=nerd=unpopular. not very popular at my school as you may have guessed =/ oh well, i'm pretty sure my future will be better than those who consistently get D's or F's =)
FAD... SAL
· 7 months ago
While, Nerds are not bad people after all! You understand me, right? I am not saying this because I am a nerd or because I am on their side But actually nerds are people who could be (sometimes) very sensetive that they get out of there emotions... Which is really bad! I am a NERD afterall I get the one of the highest marks in my class.
Andrea
· 7 months ago
< Nerd in junior high, high school, today, beyond? But I wasn't unpopular or popular, just kind of there. The weird thing about my school (read: not suburbia, inner city) was that the popular kids were for the most part very smart, athletic, did drugs, got into good schools. We hated them for it because we couldn't be like "well at least I'm smarter than them." Cause you know, they ended up going to Yale anyway. I think what made people nerdy in my school was being different. For instance, a lot of the newly immigrated kids who didn't speak English well. Or the overweight kids. Or people who, you know, dressed funny. If your parents were poor and you had to buy your clothes at TJ Maxx. I was surely somewhat jealous of the cool kids but, like you, I did not try to hard to be like them. I mean, I made effort in my looks, but not MUCH effort. I made more effort in school or sports. Still do. I knew high school were not going to be the best four years in my life and I felt sorry for those for whom it was. The weird thing is, college is in some ways similar. Sure, everyone studies hard, but at the same time it's also necessary to talk about how little sleep you got or how hard you partied on a Monday afternoon. This bothers me. Why must I party hard? Don't you know sleep is good for you? It doesn't make sense! So yeah. Popularity contest part two: college?
Good In Bed
· 7 months ago
To 'FANTASTIC in bed'
Dontworry your not the only who has asked... LOL the question is do you meet my standereds?
xoxooxoxxoxoxoxoxo
P.s there is a reason im called good in bed.
josh
· 7 months ago
bam u guys are the nerds fuck u all
Josh S.
· 7 months ago
For the record, I am not the same Josh as the one that posted above.
Honestly people, must we be so ignorant, selfish, and uncaring? Why would you just go and throw out cuss words like that? I'm no psychologist, but to me this message says "hey look at me, i'm so cool cuz i swore at people i think are nerds." It makes no sense. The amount of... I'll make it up here... "educational racism" (segregation of nerds and non-nerds) is just, as I see it, the result of either jealousy or anger at the people who are smarter than others. Constantly, you see people swearing at, bullying, and ostracizing those they consider nerds. What did we do to you? Make you look bad because you didn't score as high on a test as we did? If you're upset that someone aced a test, then you probably need to look again, and realize that its because they studied, and that it isn't their fault, its your own. You need to rethink your work habits, so maybe on the next test you'll score higher.
Please just think about this. For all you who keep posting against nerds, think about what you are saying. If you think calling someone a nerd is an insult, think about this: you are basically stating that they are smart, and also stating that they are smarter than you.
Also, throwing out swear words doesn't make you cool. Just saying.
lucas davis
· 7 months ago
fuck josh ur the biggest nerd of them all but the ones in the story are fucked in the head type nerds
Stuart
· 7 months ago
You are a douchebag!
UK Gold
· 7 months ago
Perhaps the popular kids are the smart kids and the nerds just aren't as clever as you think. Being academically clever does not necessarily make you smarter than the kid who scores strait D's. You may have already argued this point but I got board reading after the third paragraph so forgive me if im talking stupid. Stay cool - be popular - and smart.... right
Josh S.
· 7 months ago
I do agree, to an extent. One thing to consider is there are two subjects you can be smart in. Academic smarts or street smarts. Nerds are the people who are academically smart, and not very street smart. Sure, they'll know the answer to Question 36 on last weeks Geometry test (just an example. don't criticize me for it), but they won't know which celebrity just married who. So, basically, yes, you are right, in one way, UK Gold. An average nerd is generally academically smarter than your average popular person, but your average popular person has more street smarts than an average nerd.
Derek Gaine
· 5 months ago
Why the heck would you ever need to know which celebrity married who in life. Thats a totally bogus and pointless argument. True street smarts are knowing social skills and being likeable. But hey, everyone's not gonna like you so theres really no point in trying to be "popular." Just be friends with whoever you want and make sure school comes first.
Thomas
· 7 months ago
I think that nerds are unpopular because they are a really singled out group in the world. The fact that not many nerds exist make an otherwise popular person afraid to be in a group of nerds because they wouldn't fit in. More popular people say that nerds are just outcasts, but subconsciously, they view them as a clique, something that makes popular people think a friendship woudn't last. If you're a nerd though, you know that you're an open and friendly person. Other people woundn't bother risking their earned popularity not knowing how the life of a nerd really works.
h
· 7 months ago
to damn long
Wes
· 7 months ago
Im my school, im one of the smart people, but our popular kids seem so dumb. I dont care what they say, i still want to be smart, and nothing can change it.
Amorina
· 7 months ago
A wonderful twist to this story is when a teacher who WAS popular in school takes on a group of "nerds", and in true Pygmallion fashion turns them into the envied group of the school. My teacher, Mrs. Haferkamp, does this. It is also my understanding that she has done it everywhere she has gone. How wonderful it would be, if all teachers put in the time to eat lunch with the inmates and learn their ways.
Tina
· 7 months ago
You can be both. Didn't you ever meet the cheerleader that got straight A's? I think many so called nerds were unpopular because they based too much of their identity on being smart. They simply weren't well rounded or feared communication with people. Then, most of them grow up to be completely insufferable always, always needing to prove they know this or that. They remain unliked this way.
sajai
· 7 months ago
i think we're not giving the popular kids enough credit here. i find it incredible that in an article claiming that nerds are a step ahead of everyone else could be so behind. even more incredible is the inference that to be popular you have to be average or below average in intelligence. does that also mean to be intelligent you have to possess little to no social skills? of course there is a heirarchy in any institution, but the people that fall to the bottom aren't necessarily intelligent. to be at the bottom of a popularity heirarchy only means that to be at the bottom, you must not possess the social skills to place you higher in the ranks.
SAN
· 7 months ago
I find this article very insightful and the author worthy of praise.
I'm an almost17 year old Canadian student, currntly busy picking a university for next year. Before reading this page, I opted to picking a university away from home, so that I could escape my parents and grow up in the "harsh world" just as everyone else do. After reading this page, I understood that my self-admitted isolation, boredom, and even false behaviour towards my parents are easier to fix by integrating myself into the real world. Perhaps I get a job this summer rather than signing up for summer school to boost up my scholarships.
I thank you
Jaxob
· 7 months ago
That's a load I am a Straight A student and yet I am considered rather popular amongst the entire school. Everybody knows me and everybody likes me. In fact times have changed. Nowadays being a nerd isn't uncool, so long as you have looks to go with it. In fact I am doing two higher maths subjects and my schoolmates envy me.
Josh S.
· 6 months ago
Not to be rude, but nobody likes a braggart. Also, I do think you are exaggerating the facts a little. And its true, being a nerd isn't uncool, but you don't necessarily have to have looks as well. The best advice I can give is just be yourself, and don't let things get to you.
Ian Clements
· 7 months ago
Also, mind you there are always the nerds who are not smart, at all, as well as not physically in-shape or attractive. Some of the simple things are charisma, interests, physical apperanace/shape, political affiliation, humour, wealth, and even intelligence, but arrogance only works if you're kidding, otherwise, :(. You can be popular with select combinations of at least 4, and usually there are different 'popular' groups which you can belong to, based on which combination. Or just use some drive, don't back down, and don't be unwelcome where you are. Use some of that.
nigger mc niggerssauce
· 7 months ago
what...the...fuck...
The Magical Elfin Dancer
· 7 months ago
OMG liek hav u guys seen twilight?? Isn't edward culen just the sexyest man vampire in the world?????!?!?!? ok <3 guys, i actually am a nerd, and i like fall out boy, so i am a liek cool goth man..... so yeah...
The Whimsical Faerie Prancer
· 6 months ago
lolol awesome
FiddyCent
· 7 months ago
That last guy was sooooo gay. I cannot believe it. Like, he should just die. totally.
FiddyCent
· 7 months ago
not that I am anti-gay or anything...
Roger
· 7 months ago
Really nice article. I especially found your analysis of what school life is to be true. Other than that, there's really nothing I can think of to add to it...
get off your High horse
· 7 months ago
maybe nerds were/are disliked is because in general they try to parade their "achievements" infront of others faces. Why do you people always think because you have gotten a Phd in anything you are better than others? create great things......? how do you do this without a skilled workforce to make it happen all you are is another side of a coin so treat your opposite with a bit of respect
Josh S.
· 6 months ago
True, we do tend to do that. But it isn't intentional. What is so wrong with being proud of an achievement? I know that I get quite happy when I score over 100% on a test/quiz, and like to show it off to my friends, but i don't mean it with the intent to hurt them, and they understand that. And for the PHD's... well, yes, they do make you better than others. But only in the subject you received it for. Also, a PHD is a good thing to aim for in a career. So there really isn't anything wrong with being proud of an achievement. However, its human error to be over-proud of it, and "parade" it around. I personally try not to do that, but sometimes, subconsciously, I think that I am. And I'm not trying to say the other side of the "coin" as you put it isn't important.
Dr.
· 6 months ago
Do Not apologize for the gifts that you have. With grace you can determine if criticism of you is valid. if you are good at what you do walk proudly and confidently and thank the lord for giving you these talents. Do not look for aproval in what you do for there will be none, but know that you are doing what you were meant to do. Nobody likes a braggert; sometimes it is best to keep your acomplishments to yourself knowing full well that you are the best.
dr. nothing
· 6 months ago
Is the captain of the football team derided for parading their achievements in front of others? As an intellectual, I felt I had to hide my achievements to avoid people like you thinking I was parading accomplishments. I got a Ph.D. because I didn't want to "grow up" and enter the real world, not because I wanted to feel superior to others. Some Ph.D.'s are jerks, just like some non-Ph.D.'s. It just seems snottier when you find out the jerk is a Ph.D. You get a Ph.D. is one topic (usually). I'm no expert at 99.999% of other disciplines. Even within my field, I'm not an expert in every topic. I readily admit that, to the surprise of many non-Ph.D.'s!
immigrant -woman
· 5 months ago
I am agree that we don't need to make it painful who is who. People are all people.I grow in another country and married American nerd.And these people are different in their social skills even he is almost 64 now.We had a smart gorle in our class overseas and nobody dated her because she was too smart I think that they don't have that special attractiveness that it. Please don't think that being smart it is bad not , because smart people can create more but not so smart people also do the job that are needed by humans Looks on all American roads, who build them? Please respect all people and their. job. That was a very good essay. I think that more important that reflect on the quality of school here in USA.More smart kids and this country will not need more immigrants .unless Corp want to save money???
Patrick
· 7 months ago
Great essay. I can provide a traditional Chinese translation in June.
Josh S.
· 6 months ago
I am currently doing a social commentary project on social casting (how we associate ourselves with others), and your essay has been a really good addition to my piece. Thank you very much for the essay, as it has been a help to me and my project.
Tyler
· 6 months ago
Puberty = start of human process of sexual ornamentation. Human sexual ornamentation is proposed to be largely based on status/hierarchy; Kids all of a sudden become painfully aware of its importance (subconciously) and so we get these high school behaviours.
Could propose most nerds are that way because they started low on the hierarchy due to poor physical ability/looks/confidence/coolness(whatever the exact sexual ornaments we humans have), so quit the game. Maybe this is why adult nerds are still very poor with woman in general...
Nick Papa Kho
· 5 months ago
Like yourself, Tyler aka Owen?
Warm alpha broham. Warm alpha.
Tyler
· 6 months ago
"They're just playing a different game, and a game much closer to the one played in the real world"... No its closer to the game YOU play in the real world, because you've been playing the same game all along. You're projecting your reality. The real world still more than rewards traits of charisma, 'coolness', call it what you like. No so much in money but in what you could call 'mating opportunities', which as it happens most humans still apparently value more
Tyler
· 6 months ago
"The problem with most schools is, they have no purpose. But hierarchy there must be. And so the kids make one out of nothing."
Its called social status. Ever been to a party? or night club even? No ones going to give a fck about how many lines of code you can write, the people who have fun (without writing an essay about it) are the ones high on the hierarchy.
nono
· 6 months ago
Great ESsay!!
ja
· 6 months ago
so boring
anonymous
· 6 months ago
I commented a while ago under this name, I am still a 8th grader at age 14 (that's normal) but I got my SAT scores back about 4 months ago, which I talked about in my earlier comment, I got a 600 on the math portion of the SATs (which is better than 75% of senoirs) and I am going to Jon Hoppkins center for talented youth this summer. This I belive puts me into the classification of nerd/ super nerd. I agree that the worst period of all the social heirarcy is middle school and freshmen year of high school (which I haven't gotten into I just know other nerds in that grade), but it isn't non-existant during the other times (I disagree with ja by the way) Such as when I was in elementery school I was TORTURED by some of the other kids in 1st/2nd/3rd/4th/5th grade and it is likly to happen to others in the later of high school as well as collage/real life. Another thing to add is my own thesis on this subject, it is a slight variant of the other seen is this buetifly sculpted thesis paper, and it is!!! that it isn't that nerds don't "learn" these social cues and other abilatys of the other people to an amount socialy acceptable by most people, it is that the others don't allow you to rank up because once you get into this cycle it is very hard to get out not because it is a viciose cycle but because it is a wall that because people social rank is determend by the others around them people leave them on the bottom of the list because they have already became a lower rank. This also determens why the high ranks don't pick on nerds, because they arn't effected by them breaking the box they are in while the middle class of junior high is very much affect by this, every input to the nerds meens an output to the middle. So therefore nerds cannot get out because they are stuck. Many choose just to stay there and not try to break out by bringing themselves up. I'm not one of those people. I was able to get myself to an okay look, not annoying or anything like that, and when I went to the high school to check it out I was assigned a person to shadow, a thenth grader (one grade higher than usual) and him and the click he was in accepted me. It was by definition a middle class click but they were still 16 to my 14. One main factor was that I found out that undershirts make me look pretty thin in comparison to with out because my manbreast that arn't very large stick out on the end because I have large pecks behind them with a smaller amount of fat than others to it looks like I have huge breasts normally because I have a very large ribcage in comparison to my hieght. The undershirt flattens them. Which is why I think that this thesis work just a little bit better than the one above, mostly because it uses all the same facts but with a few extra that only work for it but it still works better, in my opinion.
NoRmAl PeRsOn
· 6 months ago
anonomous... u kinda overkilled it LOL! like people be mean if you be different.. I mean you use bloody scientific words... and wadeva other shit you said.. dude how can people relate to you if they dont understand you?
anonymous
· 6 months ago
Sorry for the double post again and the length. Also this essay has made me think pretty well about it.
anonymous
· 6 months ago
the above essay not the one I just wrote.
Hannah
· 6 months ago
Im not the smartest person on this earth, but my whole life, (im a future freshman) popularity had nothing to do with being smart. This have changed since the past generations, and in my school, popular people are smart. I am popular, and i have been my whole life, but im not a cheerleader, or in any sports. I just have high self confidence. But we live in a material world, full of media & celebrities, and it influences us. Really, popularity is based on confidence, who has the newest most expensive things, parties, and how social you are with people.
Im not concieted, but i know im gorgeous. Popularity is also based on looks. Which very ugly people are popular too. It really is about who your friends with, and how much other people want to be you, and how your the other peoples ro-modles.
I, myself, do really good in grades. im a a-b average student. So is most of the other popular people.
Sometimes i wish there was no such thing as popularity, just because sometimes its hard looking and acting so good.
Also, now, popular people are not mean & dont bully others. No cussing, drugs, sex. None of that. Im probably the worst out of our popular people. But i've been myself all these years. Being fake will get you no where.
Mike
· 6 months ago
I see your point. There are exceptions, and maybe your one of them, but for the majority, this article is correct in how popular people usually aren't the most successful in the long run.
Belgian_Nerd
· 6 months ago
Great essay. Agree with most in it. I do have a PhD now, so I may be biased. :)
Rebuttle Huddle
· 6 months ago
Here are my feelings on the popularity I guess you can draw the conclusion that being "cool" is the same thing as being "popular" The thing is that most people view these terms from a standard. This standard is set by mostly shallow people who inhabit the majority of the planet. People who agree with each other the majority of the time and therefore are called public opinion. You have to reach the realization that being cool is based on one's own ideology. Having things in common and having certain morals. Sometimes your ideology is the same as the group, but it usually differs. People who believe that someone is cool because they are told so have weak minds. Pretty Much...my ramble is just trying to say think for yourself and make your own decisions. In order for someone to be cool in your perspective, there should be some logic
Average Teen
· 6 months ago
As a teenager mysef, and a nerd, I'd have to agree with most of this. It's not as intense as you make it sound, at least not these days. Nerds mingle with Jocks alll the same.
Well actually on second thought I'm not thinking of the very serious nerds, the ones who do in fact appear quite socially awkward. They do seem to be withdrawn from the rest of the school and avoid most people. I talk to them sometimes and their view of the school is similair to yours. They lack respect for the higher class who spend all their time trying to be popular. These kids seem to be on the fats track to suiccess and as a semi-nerd I envy that. I have managed to balance a sort of popularity, at least with my own clique , and a genuine intelligence.
But yes, in conclusion anyone, like Hannah, are not looking at it from the correct perspective it seems. Hannah did not do anything but state that she still didn't talk to nerds and that ugly could be popular which was never argued against anyway. The others below who seem to want to curse at tyou or mock this are undeniable the C or higher class as you ranked them. THey do not understand fully what you are trying to say.
Walking-Contradiction
· 6 months ago
wow, that was really good... well written as well I love your way of looking at things and the way you have basically analysed teenage life. I go to a 'selective' school full of people that are all very intelligent however i have found that a similar heirarchy is in place and often I am reffered to as a 'freak' because of my high marks (it also did not help that my physics teacher named me empress of physics infront of the entire class for scoring well on a test...) But what you are saying is true, the thought of being of average intelligence is just so unthinkable i would rather be unpopular...
Although saying that I am not actively bullied but rather bitched about and i have learnt to not care about that so teenage life is not as horrific as it used to be.
Jared
· 6 months ago
As the saying goes "everyone will be working under a nerd in his/her lifetime"!
Thanks for the post, very interesting points made. The nerds are what make this world work. They make up for all the lazy people in the world, which is becoming more the norm in society today
Amy babiiee.
· 6 months ago
Annonymous. I think your really cute. The things you say are like you think you know everything. And i like thiose things in a guy. You tickle my fancy. <3 talk later. From Amy.
sxc katieee :o
· 6 months ago
Yeaaah ummmm haiiii anonomuouss yeaahhh ummm my freiinnd ammyyy told me ur cute. I uhh kinda agree :))))
sxc
Katie
you gay
· 6 months ago
i think you are worthless and gay im sorry to say but you are really a bum jacking poo jaber its people like you that make me stay at home :)
Amy babiiee.
· 6 months ago
sHUT UP yOU gAY. your a rfaggot muncher. he is sexy.
sxc katieee :o
· 6 months ago
Nooo! That cute anonomous makes me wet.. Just shut up you stupid fag!
you gay again
· 6 months ago
i am going to hang my self over this you guys are fucking faggots fuck you all!!! i fucken hate gays, like yous
Amy babiiee.
· 6 months ago
i <3 annonnymous.
he makes me horny!!!
prof harley.
· 6 months ago
The other thing that's different about the real world is that it's much larger. In a large enough pool, even the smallest minorities can achieve a critical mass if they clump together. Out in the real world, nerds collect in certain places and form their own societies where intelligence is the most important thing. Sometimes the current even starts to flow in the other direction: sometimes, particularly in university math and science departments, nerds deliberately exaggerate their awkwardness in order to seem smarter. John Nash so admired Norbert Wiener that he adopted his habit of touching the wall as he walked down a corridor.
Thanks.
Fucken BUILT BROO!!
· 6 months ago
I'LL fucken fuck that anonoumous guy up!! ARGGGHHH!!!! I AM TANK BROOO!!!!
Bob
· 6 months ago
i like people like :) i really do dont listen to those other people !. i enjoy reading your articles. it makes my ass open :):) can i have your number and your adreess :) by the way im GAY !!
benjamin
· 6 months ago
Technology is a broad concept that deals with an animal species' usage and knowledge of tools and crafts, and how it affects an animal species' ability to control and adapt to its environment. Technology is a term with origins in the Greek "technologia", "τεχνολογία" — "techne", "τέχνη" ("craft") and "logia", "λογία" ("saying"). [1] However, a strict definition is elusive; "technology" can refer to material objects of use to humanity, such as machines, hardware or utensils, but can also encompass broader themes, including systems, methods of organization, and techniques. The term can either be applied generally or to specific areas: examples include "construction technology", "medical technology", or "state-of-the-art technology".
The human race's use of technology began with the conversion of natural resources into simple tools. The prehistorical discovery of the ability to control fire increased the available sources of food and the invention of the wheel helped humans in travelling in and controlling their environment. Recent technological developments, including the printing press, the telephone, and the Internet, have lessened physical barriers to communication and allowed humans to interact freely on a global scale. However, not all technology has been used for peaceful purposes; the development of weapons of ever-increasing destructive power has progressed throughout history, from clubs to nuclear weapons.
Technology has affected society and its surroundings in a number of ways. In many societies, technology has helped develop more advanced economies (including today's global economy) and has allowed the rise of a leisure class. Many technological processes produce unwanted by-products, known as pollution, and deplete natural resources, to the detriment of the Earth and its environment. Various implementations of technology influence the values of a society and new technology often raises new ethical questions. Examples include the rise of the notion of efficiency in terms of human productivity, a term originally applied only to machines, and the challenge of traditional norms.
CHeeras.
licker
· 6 months ago
i lick eggs
harry
· 6 months ago
I am 15 and I know that if I just pray God will stop me from being gay
I go to church and I know that if I put my hands together, cross my fingers and just pray God will stop me from being gay
I received the blessing so I know that if I put my hands together, cross my fingers, click my heels together three times and pray God will stop me from being gay
I am 15 and I know that if I just say that I am healed no-one will know that I am gay
I go to church and I know that if I just say the Holy Spirit took my guilt away no-one will know that I am gay
I tell my parents and I know they think it's their lucky day They cross their fingers, kneel and pray yet deep down they know their son is gay - but it's okay
"I have no reason to be afraid In God's image I am made"
licker
· 6 months ago
ya mamma did what??
tash
· 6 months ago
Wow, I'm meant to be doing homework now, but as usual I lost interest because of the futility and tedium of it. I typed 'why?' into Google on impulse and this was the most interesting looking result. Half an hour later and I think I've just learnt more than the eleven years of school I've done so far has ever taught me.
I've always just played the system without really knowing why- I find out where the most marks are scored and concentrate my efforts there, usually this results in my attainment of higher marrks than those smarter than me get. Some think that this is dishonest or somehow cheating- your essay has renewed my faith in playing the system in order to get out.
Needless to say (yet for some reason I'm saying it anyway), I am a nerd. And you know what? I'm fucking proud of it.
Thank you so much for writing this essay, and putting it on the internet where nerds like me can read it :)
=]
· 6 months ago
lol, I also typed 'why' into google instead of doing my homework.
:]
· 6 months ago
LOL same
Guest
· 6 months ago
This article makes a lot of sense, I never understood why people disliked others for seemingly no reason. Although, I'm not sure I entirely agree that it is a teenage thing. I seem to see it among adults still. Though not as bad mind you, and usually among "lower" forms of employment. I would have to say the kids may learn it from the adults but since, as you say, there are no immediate consequences for you actions, I think it is worsened.
uph0
· 6 months ago
I too wish I could leave school and pursue my own interests, not society and the school's interests. Its sad that young people are being dumbed down
But more importantly, I would also like to say thank you for writing this article. you summarize the whole thing so well... maybe I could print it out and distrubute to kids at my school- and teachers :P it could be epic
zane
· 6 months ago
Haha this is so right but in a way wrong im a very intelligent high school student, and part of the popular kids group. i am friends and buds with all the poplar kids, but i never hang out with any of them after school. They offer but i refuse. i feel that you have to go with the norms of society and be yourself, and friends will come. i LOVE going to school and seeing my friends, but i never hang out after school is that im too busy studying or doing hw. Being popular is no big deal, but the journey after high school is more important
a
· 6 months ago
I would like to say thank you for writing this article. You summarize the whole thing so well. 11-18 are the hardest years of life- socially.
JOhn
· 6 months ago
strangly i think that i am unpopular because im white, i know it weird because i live in London but i am the only white person in my class! which is in a school in east london! lol!. school sounds very different between the us and england
rhea
· 6 months ago
I think that ur essay is one of the best i have read on the internet.Nerds are defined as people with inept 'social' skills or 'misfits' and 'outcasts' in the typical 'high school society'.But the fact is that people whom we call 'nerds' are disgusted by the typical 'high school society' because they are way above it.Therefore they try to segregate themselves from this 'society'.
Denny
· 6 months ago
You definitely hit it right on.
Kinda wish you wrote this sooner, before I decided to take that 30 percent off in exchange of the chance of popularity, it doesnt pay off...
I suppose thats the weakness with typical American High School System, do you think it would be better if we switch to typical Asian System where they just give you ridiculous amount of work so you barely have anytime to yourself to worry about these things??
I used to study 6 hours after school when i was in Asia before switching to American school
Denny
· 6 months ago
wait you actually wrote in in 2003...haha wish I ve stumbled upon it sooner then
Green
· 6 months ago
Your entire essay and arguments rang true to me. Despite being from an ethnic minority and a self-described nerd since I knew the word's definition, I had never been actively persecuted in school. I'm easygoing and tend to keep a low profile when around people I don't know well, and most people vaguely know who I am and that I'm 'nice', or whatnot. However, in the middle of my eighth grade year, we were given a previously unheard of, golden opportunity to choose where to sit at lunch--we would stay in these places for the rest of the year. I was shocked, though, because wherever my friends, all nerds, went, people--even that I was on good terms with or talked to regularly--flatly refused to let us sit with or near them. We eventually found a place at the corner of one of the least desirable tables with people on the other end who openly expressed their displeasure at our being there. This was the first time I became acutely aware that I was in any real way different from the masses of my peers (something that both scared and stirred rebellious feelings in me), and in some ways I regarded my peers in a different light afterwords, becoming very self-conscious. Luckily, I had friends in the same situation and we strung it out together and actually achieved some real happiness together that year.
I also strongly agree with your observations on suburbia and "hormones". I was often frustrated as a teen when my parents would not take me seriously when I was emotionally stressed and blame my problems on 'hormones'.
Very much enjoyed your essay. Thank you.
lozzaaa
· 6 months ago
Awesome essay. Nerd and proud.
kezia
· 6 months ago
i am in high school, and i'm sorta nerdy lol (why else would i have read all that^) haha but everything you said there was true ( O= i couldn't have put it better myself... i think i'm more of a smart person... never really been teased... i'm pretty sure most people respect me for it (maybe because i'm in the smart class, so there a little more mature than the rest) but i really don't mind school that much (most of the time) as much as i don't like some teachers, i usually end up learning something, which is good (i can add that piece of knowledge to my brain yay!) so even though you placed school as being a prison, we should still remember that we get a whole heap of general knowledge in between the important bits haha what i don't like is that in year 8, the first year of high school, they teach you hardly anything, mostly what they do is give u (by the end of the year) several whole books full of worksheets and handouts. now i'm in year 9, so it is looking up a little.
nice essay. well done! i think you should send it to all the schools on the world for every person to read...(or at least for those nerds to read haha) it might give the teachers a taste of there own medicine ( O=
5487
· 6 months ago
hola torpes nerds jjajja
Austin
· 6 months ago
I believe that this really states it all. I'm not a nerd, I'm popular. I play football and basketball. Even though my team treats most people that way I try to make sure I don't. Sometimes that even lets my team know that they are being dicks for no reason. Nicely done essay.
nerdygirl
· 6 months ago
i'm a nerd, but i'm not exactly unpopular. i'm not popular either. i guess i'd be below average. I wear glasses, but not braces, and i don't hav pimples. somehow being a nerd makes me really inconfident at times. i'm convinced that i'm nerdy bcuz i was at the same school with the same ppl for 7 years, lol, most my life, and i was kind of a shy kid. personally i think nerds r nerds bcuz they dont hav the charisma to be popular, so they can only be smart to stand out, and they wind up nerdy.
Person
· 6 months ago
That was a great essay. I'm not sure if anyone else could have said it better.
james
· 6 months ago
the real world is just as depressing if not more so than highschool the only redeeming thing about my life was my childhood after i turned 13 everthing went downhill
whitehawk
· 6 months ago
If your essay really describes the general situation in the U.S. then I'd say it's really harsh for little nerds. I would call myself a bit nerdy and have to say that my experience of growing up in Slovakia was by far less tough than what you describe. I agree that probably the most difficult times come at the age around eleven when other kids start to form rather close groups and a nerd usually becomes an outsider. What makes it more difficult is that your world is very bounded at that time and you probably don't know many people like you. At least in Slovakia, the biggest issue you have to fight with is not humiliation by the more popular peers but loneliness. Your situation starts to change when you realize what sort of people would you like to be with and how to get to them (science contests, young scientists organizations). Of course, supportive parents and teachers can help you a great deal with that but nowadays, also the easy internet access makes networking much easier. At the end, it might be true that you're left being confused about your place in the world for two or three years but not more than that. I admit that in the U.S. things might be more difficult because of the larger geographical distances that make meeting other kids like you harder.
Joseph Barrow
· 5 months ago
While reading this, I made many comments to the screen of my laptop, mainly consisting of things like "The author is completely right," or "My thoughts exactly." At some points I was even tempted to cry. This piece was beautifully crafted, and I preach the exact same things to my friends.
Now, before I go further, some background information. I am 14 years old, attending a high school in Fairfax, Virginia, and I just finished my freshman year. I am the epitome of the word 'nerd' at my school. I program computers in C++, Python, and Java, and I build websites in both HTML and PHP, as well as hack websites (white-hat only). I also build and fix computers, and have never gotten a B in my life. I speak both German and English fluently, and I regularly do Game Theory for fun.
Unfortunately, as you said, I am too distracted to be popular. While I am never physically bullied at school (this has to do with the fact that I am 6' 4") I am generally ignored or called names. I have even been rejected by two girls whom I never even asked out! They just walked up to me (on two separate occasions) and told me that they don't want to go out with me. I also have three sisters who make fun of me constantly for being a nerd.
But, enough about only me. Relating this to your article, I would say that this is spot on. US high schools are some of the worst in the country for nerds and non-conformists alike. Popular science recently did a study about this also, and concluded that nerds are unpopular for many of the reasons described above, as well as our lack of interest in sports. There is almost a direct correlation with how physically fit a male is and how popular they are. US schools have become a hole of ignorance. Teenagers are emphasizing ignorance as a good trait, so that some people graduate barely literate! And teachers allow this, too, holding double standards. In my school there are high standards for nerds, in which teachers grade many of our assignments harder because they expect better, a low standard for athletes. I was on a study team in my school, and our group found that athletes get higher grades for the same work. We had an athlete turn in an assignment copied word for word from a nerd's assignment, and the nerd got a B on the assignment while the athlete got a 100%.
Well, I've rambled on enough.
Thank you for this wonderful article.
Joseph Barrow
Immature and proud
· 5 months ago
omg this is the best thing ever! im extremely unpopular at school (13 years old and only 2 friends). Im very smart, i have braces, but no acne, blue eyes and, ironically enough, im blonde. Everyone knows im really smart and no one has ever made fun of me for being blonde, but i got in a big fight with someone who i THOUGHT was my friend and now im hated by almost everyone. Im just so happy ive got my 2 friends in school and my 10 million friends outside of school. its weird... i can be popular anywhere EXCEPT school...hmm...
kevin
· 5 months ago
Very nicely written essay. As a nerd and father of a nerd, it resonates with me.
MathematicsWorld
· 5 months ago
A definition of a nerd, is one in which his/her intellectual capability is well above the average level of intelligence. This usually only exists in a very specific field, for instance, Math nerd, psychology nerd, economics nerd, etc. Thus, a nerd cannot be completely in chance of getting a perfect/good score on an exam. Being a math nerd and human calculator since I was 10, I know how it felt. Usually, nerds have a very bland social life, with a small ring of friends usually with their same capability and/or field. They have little to limited physical capabilities, rendering them defenseless, and possible to be picked on by novice "bullies" or any person that has a higher physical label. Nerds are an intellectual wonder, usually indulging in the intellectual arts. Here is my profile, which most psycologists would consider the high nerd:
I am currently 16(.166) years of age, nearly completing my 2nd month at the age. I am graduating from MIT, I have been known to be able to multiply 16 by 16 digit numbers in 1.2833 minutes (1 minute 17 seconds) on a regular basis, yet mentally. Stating my near 'Alma matter', I reside in Boston, Massachusetts. I have some German roots, and controversially the English. I've taught myself Algebra, Calculus, Complex analysis, and some harmonic analysis. I have rotten memory, so, I've never gotten a chance to memorize any facts I am calculating, for it would take too long. I am popular, considering the people who know my calculation feats, but I only have 5 actual friends. So far, my lowest grade is 98, and I have mantained a perfect score in mathematics for my whole life, whether SAT or random mathematics assesments on the internet (I time myself to assure the fastest performance, which always makes me first to submit my assignment/assesment.) I also believe complex analysis, numerical analysis, and functional analysis is fun (it really is), and do it all the time for no reason. I am relatively short, 5' 3", I am easily rejected by anyone I talk to, unless he/she is an intellectual, or a teacher. Otherwise, I am tempted to do any problem given, explaining my high scores, and as said in the article, has habits of reporting external activities, like bullying.
I would say, there were many acts against intellectuals and nerds. This probably comes from stress from the school and/or study and 'fun' habits. Also, nerds are stereotyped as a lower class, ever since the 1970s. Because of its 'great' times, many teenagers convert from high class students, to drop-out party freaks. These mass conversions leave little trace of its history except the knurds (nerds) who studied and had intellectual pursuits. People refuse to accept difference, and stereotype these nerds, until nerds are considered negative and derogatory.
Your article is very interesting, and really explains school scale intellectuals and nerds, being at their worst social status.
Henry X. Pennston
Derek Gaine
· 5 months ago
This is a really good essay, but is also depressing. If not in high school, when is a "nerd" supposed to ever make great friendships. Your essay implies that its not nerds don't have social skills per say, but can be easily singled out due to the nature of them being "easier targets" for their maturity. They know arguments and fights are unecessary and won't bite back as say the captain of the football team. Its just a matter of weak individuals with low self esteem trying to protect themselves. Picking on a kid on the chess team is a whole lot easier than someone on the football team. Nerds can still be friendly but may not earn "real respect" until college where mental capabilities play a higher role. For example I'm pretty sure no one can make fun of you for being smart if your attending Harvard as opposed to someone making fun of you in Junior High. Absolutely brilliant essay, I'll say. You should most definitely share your insights into other subjects dealing with the social structure of our country. Great Job
Kleio
· 5 months ago
Thank you for this beautiful essay. I guess you could consider me a nerd, since I got a perfect essay score on the SAT's at 13, as well as an award for my score on the reading half. However, like most nerds, I've always been... Well, a social outcast. And the worst part of it is, I have almost no friends who share the same interests and intellectual capability as I do. It’s unfortunate, seeing as I love things such as debate and the like. Nobody in the seventh grade ever seems to want to discuss politics, it seems, something I’m genuinely interested in. In fact, and I refuse to mention names, a few of my friends have even told me a lemon ISN’T a citrus fruit. The public school system is doing a great job teaching kids, eh? Alas, like you said, it’s become more of a daycare for older kids than it is a place for learning. I’m currently homeschooling, seeing as I find myself (and I don’t mean to sound conceited) beyond learning where to put a comma in a sentence. Half the people I know can’t even use the most basic of grammar. Heck, my own younger brother is using chatspeak! It just… I don’t know, it’s frustrating to be the only one who understands things that others in my age group don’t care about. Nobody wants to form opinions independent of their parent’s ideals, nobody wants to look into the issues surrounding the government, nobody wants to take the time to ask themselves the simple question, “Is this really what I think? Or are these simply the opinions of others that I’ve taken on in my efforts to become popular?” The hardest part for me is to look at another person, and ask myself… “How are they going to succeed in life? How is a teenager who can’t even put a period at the end of a sentence going to get a job?” I don’t know… I’ve always been odd in the respect that even if I don’t show it, the problems of others always end up being my own, as well. I suppose you could take this next literal statement in a metaphorical way, as well; I hate bugs, but I could never crush a spider, rip the wings of a butterfly, or flood an anthill. It’s almost like I find myself cursed forever to worry about everyone else as well as myself; even those whom I hate.
zena
· 5 months ago
its because you are a responsible, intellectual=mind + spirit person, and society isn't set up for you to be successful. You kind of have to be successful at what you hate to do or be outcasted for doing the opposite=mind OR spirit, not both because then you would have motivation, a force; you would be a motivational powerful force...you would be happy... you can only serve one master
imguilty
· 5 months ago
Just wait until your education is complete and you're done with school for good. None of that nonsense will matter and you will be happy. Just don't throw away your gifts like I did for the sake of fitting in. It's not worth it.
Hugh
· 5 months ago
You've managed to deduce an overwhelmingly logical set of reasons for the bitter hell that encompassed that period of my life. Knowing _why_ has released me from much of that torment. Thank you.
Former Freak
· 5 months ago
A big component in the hell that was jr. high in the past is the element of isolation. Unpopularity eventually leads to segregation, or at least a serious restriction of possibilities of who to interact with.I think it's a bit different these days.
Without a doubt, jr. high schools were like a recreation of "Oz" with a younger cast back in the 80s... but that was before the great equalizer of the Internet. Nowadays, you can find people with similar interests or abilities with a quick visit to google. That awareness of, and interaction with, a bigger world filled with more mature people helps to bleed off a lot of that pressure which in the past would have built up to dangerous levels.
Unless they have such deep social interaction problems that they require professional intervention, even the most socially awkward teen can now build a peer group and break out of the environment that would have trapped us just a generation ago.
Who knows, this may well be one of those problems that goes away after being ignored long enough. ;)
Jeff
· 5 months ago
Can definitely relate to this, being in the same boat. I withdrew entirely from the popularity game during my school years, and instead turned into a keyboard jockey. The internet is great, but can often be detrimental to one's social skills. I know mine were hurt over my obsession with the internet, I'm paying the price now.
I always rejected the system of social hierarchy but when the popularity game is being played around you all the time, it just feels really bad not to be a part of it. Its very tough to fight off our tribal instincts and sense of belonging to a group.
Intelligence comes at a cost, I'd much rather be a bit miserable and far more awakened to reality than a conformist. Mediocrity and banality is boring and too; is the driving force of the worker masses. I say fsck it, be yourself.
When do you think what I think is a sense of 'awakenedness' to the bs of social order develops? I couldn't say when the switch flipped for me.
derek
· 5 months ago
smart people, who are apparently automatically nerds because kids sort by intelligence instead of looks/money, don't know words like "tact" in high school? riiight.
after reading this essay, i am pretty sure you were unpopular because of your personality. i wouldn't be such a dick, but there are 1154 comments already, so i figure this ain't getting read.
Codi
· 5 months ago
Well this guy doesn't seem like a dick at all. In fact he sounds like a realist. Someone who can't help but to notice the bullshit. Now I personally can't relate to the American school life, but since many of us here in Canada are affected or at least think they're affected by the American life. It's (Canadian school life,) still rich with the social hierarchy. See at my school he have no football team, and we have no cheerleaders. The students on our hockey team, on our basketball team and so on are slightly noticed, slightly more popular but are not put on a pedestal by the majority. It's the kids who think that they're on a pedestal that are the popular ones. These are the kids that hang out with older people and think that by association they themselves are somehow better for the experience. Regardless there are still people who realize that that they're essentially worthless. I don't admire, but I don't hate them either. My only thing to really say for them is that they're attention whores in denial. Bottom feeders like the rest of us who intentionally drowned and floated to the top just to be noticed by us, they're underlings. I'm not popular, I'm not particularly outgoing. I've only smoked pot twice, and have only been drunk twice. I'm literally just there. Sitting and waiting just so I can bitch about the fact that I'll have to board the bus and do it all over again in about sixteen hours. I don't fit into any category really. I'm not into the arts, I'm not in plays, I've never tried out for a sports team, I've never tried to please the masses by running for student government and I sure haven't tried to be academically superior. I'm just well... kind've there.
Oh and @ crotiger,
You're unpopular because you've never tried to be most likely. You're most likely admired, yet demeaned by guys, and pursed by girls. The only thing is that you're used to feeling vulnerable which makes you put up walls so you don't notice when somebody genuinely likes you.
crackabottle
· 5 months ago
You say you only smoked pot twice like it's a bad thing. Pot is an herb and the Bible says that all herbs were created as a gift to benefit mankind. Sorry to be off topic, I just have to stick up for pot whenever I can.
The Overgeek
· 5 months ago
That is very true, however like all good things it should be used in moderation. Inhaling smoke from any source is extremely damaging to the lungs. Particulate matter especially.
crotiger
· 5 months ago
I don't know if someone is actually going to read this, but I can't refrain myself from posting this. Reading this article was reminiscent of my life story and I have an urge to share a couple of thoughts with you guys.
I've just turned 18 and approaching my senior year in high school. I'm 6'2'' (tall), dark hair, handsome (a model), academically superior (perfect grades, lots of contests) but still UNPOPULAR in school. You know why? I DONT KNOW WHY. I just can't understand what the heck are they all talking about. I just feel different.
Sometimes I've even been contemplating suicide. And still don't know what to do.
:(
crackabottle
· 5 months ago
I feel ya man. It's hard to gain acceptance from anyone. My situation sucked hard. I moved in grade 8 and went to a small town K-12 school where everyone grew up together and I was always the outsider. I decided to give up intelligence for popularity and eventually I was part of a clique but I ended up not graduating. I'm still not sure how it happened, I guess I just stopped caring about my grades if it meant being completely alone. But one thing I discovered is that once school is done, none of it matters.
crotiger
· 5 months ago
I don't know what to say man, I just know one thing - the school is ruled by mediocrity.
dan ???
· 5 months ago
hi im a 14 yeat old nerd from the uk. im glad to say the system where i live is different to yours over the pond. the hierarchy is of a more eggtimer shape with the "popular" peaple (or as we call them, chavs) at the top and the nerds and "freaks" (or as we call them, emos) at the bottom. but like a egg timer, the sytem can be turned on itself. the nerds are subject to bullying but usally block attacks with wit, a thing we are born with. while the popular peaple as children learend to play football. we nerds played on mega drives and snes'. and at high school the popular ids hang around on allys smoking and drinking. we nerds challenge the world on everything from halo to mario kart.
popular peaple DO demote smarter peaple to gain status. but we truely only learn this when we reach juinior and high schools. as this happens nerds bond with others , not necceraly nerds, for support.
but before in infant and primary schools intelligence was power. if you could do your 3 times table you almostruled the roost. i look back at my old school photos and nearly all the peaple on there i drifted away from. i became smarter the others didnt. i went to a school with relitivly low tandards and i felt out of depth at times. so i banded with anyone i could.
whikle others would perfer to balance socalising and work a do not fort me i feel i need to put all my effort into my work and socalising comes after. take my it lessons. 1 hour of it and mosty peaple have programmed mase games deemed "ok" y the teacher. i have already made frogger, pac-man and tetris.
but thats just what i think.
Pheredu
· 5 months ago
I recently graduated, but I agree with all of this, even though I was a Canadian student. I was one of the heavy metal fans in school (I still listen to metal), but what was so odd was that I was noticed by popular kids (Student Council) and the people I hated (Specifically, sluts). It felt very weird since I absolutely refused to be popular and worked my hardest to be against the crowd. I don't think I was popular, but maybe other students saw me as a refreshing blast of truth. I was a smart kid (described as a walking encyclopedia for music) who hung out with stoners, nerds, and even criminals, yet I was never one of them. My hatred of conformity meant I never was able to fit into any group just right. I still felt weird with student government noticing a cynical, hateful, depressed, gifted outsider who had no social skills and could only play bass very well. I know this doesn't fit with the topic, but I am just stating that there are those who are in limbo between outsiders and the popular kids. Maybe it only happens in Canadian schools.
Lori
· 5 months ago
Maybe it's because I went to high school in a small university town, full of students with parents who were professors, but nerds were the popular kids in my high school. If you weren't smart, then you at least had to be in band (another oft-reviled group elsewhere, it seems). People went to football games not for the games, but to watch the band and to make fun of the jocks (and oh how our football team sucked).
I'm not entirely sure how my high school and fellow students flipped the who-is-popular trope upside down, but I'm glad it was, and it shows that it is at least possible for school to be something more than daytime jail. This is likely because my public high school clearly valued the pursuit of education, and routinely got rid of teachers that were bad educators (it may also have had something to do with parents caring more about the academic side of school as opposed to the athletic). I reject the premise that nerds *must* inherently be unpopular, because when kids (and the schools they're in) value intelligence, it's the nerds that rule (as they do on most college campuses). I simply do not agree with the dichotomy you've set up in this essay; it's too simplistic and too limited in scope to apply to all public schools and all nerds.
I do think there is merit in your answer to why what happened to you and other unpopulars (nerds or otherwise) happened, however--it is a lack of adult involvement. The only way to correct the problem is to become an involved adult, whether you're a teacher or a parent or simply a concerned member of the community. If the community expects a school system to give students a good education and equips it with the necessary funds to do so, the schools are going to be much more likely to provide one to their students, and when schools have a culture that is pro-intelligence, a lot of the pettiness you find in high school begins to go away.
veronica11
· 5 months ago
Hey I'm Veronica and I'm in 10th grade. I think alot of the things you say are true however I also think alot of it is not true. Like the lunch area map you described well thats true. at my school it like this; the popular and the normals and the nerds/radomes well we have a different area we hang at.My group I would consider the radomes which is a group of girls and were friends with the nerds. Don't get me wrong were not nerds ourselves we just like to hang with them because were not judge mental we se people for who they truly are. I started 8th grade with no one from my old school.I met this girl and we were great friends for ages. Than I met these new people and we all made this group. the first year was the best year of my social school year but I was rarely ever invited to sleepovers and movies and shopping and that kind of stuff. so whenever I did get invited to something i would be so happy and exited. things where good till my good friend got her hair cut than she suddenly became a bitch. She changed for the worst. Half way throughout 9th grade i started to get ignored from my group and I tried relay hard to insert my self in conversations and to get involved. now I'm half way thought 10th and things haven't gotten any better. last week i got invited to ice skating but the night beforeat midnight my friends told me on msn that it was canceled. deep in my bones i know that they wouldn't have texted me in the morning to tell me they would have just let me turn up i think. or maybe it wasn't canceled and they all went anyways. I don't know and i never will. And their meant to be my close friends however i was talking to one of them on msn and it turned out that she had a sleepover and she didn't even invite me. i want to ditch my friends and find some that are good but i don't know how to without alienating my other friends that i am sure are genuine. I also don't wana ruin my reputation of being nice. I think the way i fill shows on my face because often at school i ever have no emotion or look sad and scared and even depressed. I think school is relay designed to teach kids life skills but to me its pointless because nothing is relevant to what i want to do. I'm not supper smart or anything. at my school being smart doesn't make you a nerd its its the way you look act and dress. its so judge mental but alot of the popular girls are really and genuinely nice. also you said that when you were a kid u wanted to be popular.well thats not true with every one. all I ever wanted was to have truly good friends. you cant expect to find excellent friends in school because in the real world you might not even meet because at school your locked up six hours a day in a class filled with the same people so you are bound to hang with them they have no choice but outside of school friends chose to hang with you. do you know how to change friendship groups in 10th grade? I'm truly desperate for an answer from anyone and my sisters are no help. when i found this site i typed in google how to change friendship groups in year 10. well whatever ty if u answer back anyone.
veronica11
· 5 months ago
oh yeah i forgot to add im in Australia and have been to a few schools and this is the nicest but still mean one iv been to. oh and im not geeky or ugly looking (not to be judge mental or mean) and i never talk and i look nervous all the time and if im not sure about someone and they talk to me i am hesitant to reply and sound digested and scared (i have a lack of trust) and i actually never smile but im not ugly and i nobody i know of's ever had a crush on me(not to go into that kind of stuff) but it tears holes in to a girls heart.
veronica11
· 5 months ago
i just hate all this social crap i am apparently a very awkward person and i must admit im guilty of being very very vein so trust me popularity isn't about looks. but u have to have awesome hair.if you fill like your ugly plz dont you probably just need a new hair cut.you would be surprised what a good hair style can do to your looks. some guys have awesome hair that makes them hot but than they cut it of and aren't hot anymore.sorry about my wired comment my sis is always telling me i say the most random things lol well i wanted to be a hair dresser once but changed my mind now im going to be a photographer and am starting TAFE next year yay.maybe i can find some genuine friends their.
Costel
· 5 months ago
Hi. Just wanted to say that this essay partially describes what I've been through junior high, and I'm from Romania. So the mediocrity of the public schooling system is more universal than one might think, in any case not restrained to America. Before reading this article I thought that I must of been the unadapted one (not that it isn't true), and that everyone else was normal. Where I'm from nerds were the obedient ones and I was just a geek, but I guess language doesn't matter that much. There wasn't a great deal of geeks in my school, and I was certainly the only one in my class and reading this article now made me realize that there's people out there that have been through similar situations to those I've been through. I don't know how to better put it: Thanks.
crotiger
· 5 months ago
You are the normal one, don't worry. They're all crazy. My advice: keep up the good work and do whatever makes you happy. All the other things being equal, smart people are way more popular (esp. with girls). You just have to build some social skills (if you haven't already) and you'll be perfect. This is the formula:
good looks + intelligence + self confidence = girls love you + guys hate you
veronica11
· 5 months ago
at my school nerds don't get bashed up and not to much mental torment. just a little but even in the nerdy group there is a lot of hidden bitchiness which i hate i wish people could be more upfront. where i come from the nerds are more geeks than nerds and they are very funny joking people more than those bitchi popular people and also in my grade its the popular guys that are the meanest
alan
· 5 months ago
i was bullied all through school, and i agree with his first statement : i am not incredibly smart, not incredibly athletic, i am completely average yet i was bullied for five years, from getting held off the floor by my throat to having a leg broke, and i must say that in each gfroup of bullies, there is a leader who plans stuff.
veronica11
· 5 months ago
hey alan did u know that if u live in Australia and have prof of bulling even none physical bulling than once ur 18 u have a year to sue those people and can get hundreds of thousands of dollars compensation. at my school its not physical bulling its more mental torment. which in some cases can be worse. the school i go to theirs might be like one punch up a year up and their really small ones where people don't even get bruised and its mostly over girls how stupid. braking a leg is terrible u could have gone to the police and the bully probably would have gone to juvi(child's prison) expeshly after being pined down with someone choking you and i thought bitchi and fake friends was bad. if people are hurting you that bad than u should change schools because what if one day they get even more physical. this sounds more like hate to me. how did they break ur leg anyways. it must have been painful oh no u didn't cry did u? showing weakness to someone that mean could make it worse. also i have never my self broken a leg ouch but i got almost 3rd degree when i was little (luckily i have not to many scars) i had to get my skin pilled of yuck and i didnt even cry but trust me it was the worst pain iv ever felt. i dont cry when im in absolute terrible pain just the little things make me cry. bye l8r and u really should do something about all that bulling because if u do nothing its just going to continue. when i was in ur 6 this mean guy always called me gold fish because i forget easily but it hurt my fillings even to this day. I like this site because i can express my fillings that nobody i know of would care about. maybe my parents but this is just stuff not to share with them
veronica11
· 5 months ago
The school i got to its not about athletics. nobody talked the school sport teams seriously and nobody talks about them ever.
veronica11
· 5 months ago
i hate myspace and bebo. a couple of years ago 9 actually liked them but now i cant stand them.does anyone know how to get rid of accounts on these websites? Heres my email this is my work related email and not my social email thats why the name of its wird its :seastory293@hotmail.com plz only contact me if u know how to get rid of myspace or bebo
virginia
· 5 months ago
hi, my name is virginia, im in year 9 this year. i used to be one of the 'unpopular' kids at my school, i was bullied all the time, its a horrible thing to expierience...all i wanted to do was be friends with one of the popular girls...they would play the trick of 'if you do this we will like you' or 'if you get this for us we will be friends with you' i jumped through hoops and went through so much humiliation and sadness just to try and be liked. i'm now one of the most popular girls in my school. and i'm not popular because im a bitch either. puberty helped, but instead of trying to be other peoples friends and changing for them, i was just myself and it was soooo much easier. people dont just judge you by the way you act, its also how you look, its cruel and i hated it. but we all change alot when we go through high school, sometimes good changes...sometimes bad...i'm not sure why im putting this on here...but it might help other people..so yerr......
Harry
· 5 months ago
Well, that was a good read. It's really too bad that i don't fit into the Nerds group or the Popular group, or any other group for that matter, I'm just neutral. Also the fact that I generally enjoy my own company over anyone elses is starting to eat at me as a little strange. I don't really have any hobbies, though having tried to gain some by trying a whole load of different things. I am smart, but I'm not extremely smart, I get good grades (85%+) without studying too much, but something clicked in my head about 2 months ago, and it was that I actually wanted to study, but not to learn, or to get popularity (being smart can make you very popular, as being an individual is the main thing that other kids see as 'cool', and it just so happens that being smart = being individual, which in turn = popularity). I have no idea why i want to study so hard, but I guess I just don't want to fail later on in life. It's just too bad that around a month ago i was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, meaning even the one thing i had spurring me on (studying), was hard to do. All i ever want to do now is sleep, and i literally have no time for studying. But I guess it's just the world's way of punishing me for being so ignorant earlier on (asshole). Well there is my 2 cents (2.55 AUD). I don't know what i tried to accomplish by writing this, but there are my thoughts.
veronica11
· 5 months ago
I don't know why but i enjoy dying my hair bright colors. I'm a natural blond( built i'm not a bimbo but i have my moments lol) just for the fun of it I'm going to type some of my bimbo moments lol i still can't believe i said them. "hey dad did you know that human beings are living people." "Look thats a mountain on top of a hill." " Dad because that cars engine is in its boot its like its going backwards but its really going forwards." Ok so now I have bright red hair not ranga red or orange either just artificial red. i never fit in which ever school i go to I don't fit in with the nerds or the average or the popular or my (fake supposed to be) friends. Its like theirs no were in the world i fit in like i ned to escape and that is why i am so into numerology and horoscopes. every thing they say comes true its so wired. but the thing about them it means i have a future and that is hope which all of us unfortunate people born into a world that does not love or respect us needs don't let anyone put u down
Steve
· 5 months ago
As a member of the D table crowd, I believe you are mistaken. Thinking that you chose to be smart instead of popular is just wrong. Many members of my D table were not smart, and many members of the A table were.
We were different because our mothers dressed us funny, or because we were too shy to approach people, or because of some other insecurity issue.
Indeed many of us have outperformed the A table bunch in the real world, but I can introduce you to as many D table failures, as I can A table failures.
I suggest you are consoling yourself by implying you were smarter than the popular people. Bah Humbug.
Suzanne
· 5 months ago
I've noticed that the higher IQ someone has, the lower their EQ tends to be. People with high IQs are more distracted by learning other things and focusing on the world, while people with high EQs focus on themselves and social relations. People with high EQ will naturally be more popular. Fortunately EQ is non-linear to IQ and can be learned through experience.
Grace
· 5 months ago
Suzanne, that's not something you've noticed... there have been studies demonstrating that for a few decades now I believe.
JR
· 5 months ago
Here's how I'd summarise the issue: low stakes + high physical confinement = exceptionally nasty social hierarchies.
We all want to be good at something or, rather, we all want to better than *other* people at something. If you're lucky enough and work hard enough to discover a 'calling' (call it compelling curiosity about *something* [and it needn't be academic]) then you'll soon find yourself pulling ahead of the people who cruise through things with nary a moment of anger, excitement, commitment, or any other meaningful emotion.
So let's say that you're lazy and, every day, you have to confront a group of people who are clearly better at you in some area what are you going to do? Because every day you're reminded of how you're not as good at 'x' as persons 'a', 'b', and 'c'. And there's no escape. You can't quit your job or meet your friends at the bar to complain about your co-workers.
You *could* work hard... and believe it or not, the jocks actually work really hard at being the best football/hockey/whatever player they can be. And your nerds work hard at academics. So if you're in the middle of all of this you could: 1) try to beat the jocks at sports; or 2) try to beat the nerds at academics. But it would all be a lot less work if you just skip to the part where you beat up on the nerds: they won't usually fight back and you'll feel better because you've beat them at *something*... without too much effort.
The hilarious thing I get from going to HS reunions (I've been to a total of three in nearly twenty years, mostly out of anthropological curiousity) is that the people who made my life unpleasant (though not nearly as bad as some of what's reported here) are pretty much the same as they were then. They haven't usually changed: live in the same town, act the same way, hang out with the same people, do the pretty much the same things... and all I can tell you is that at thirty-five that is well and truly sad.
Think about it: what kind of sane person (or interesting person for that matter) wants to spend the next sixty years of their life saying: high school was the *best*! If you peaked in high-school then you peaked about fifty years too early and are in for a seriously crappy rest-of-your-life. With an open mind and a passion, each year gets better and better in completely unexpected ways.
So it probably won't help, but I wish that in high school I'd had as a mantra the words: low stakes, low stakes, low stakes...
Maybe take up a hobby or interest that gets you dealing with adults (preferably ones who have interesting jobs and live in a different neighbourhood) and you'll probably see at least a tiny little bit of the same cattiness (we're all social creatures) but you'll notice that people with *real* interests and a big picture view of the world don't get too upset, and neither should you.
bondy
· 5 months ago
Grace, a person can "notice" something, and not necessarily have been the first to notice it. I don't think Suzanne was even trying to make that distinction, so I don't know why you would bother to point it out. I think she was just offering her own point of view, which may not have been the first of its kind, but neither did she claim it to be so.
dm
· 5 months ago
If only so many people (students) had read this earlier. It would have been the biggest help ever, and so, so true.
Joe
· 5 months ago
man. I'm in highschool right now. Things are no different in canada. I get what your saying about nerds and freaks, but common. What if you like fun, and you want to fit in... What the hell do you do when your at the bottom, but belong at the top
ssummit
· 5 months ago
In my opinion, I think most people just don't want to be outcasts or picked on. It might be nice to have a larger group of friends, but not if it meant acting in ways that you're not comfortable with or that are hurtful to others. Also, when I tried hanging with the "in" group in law school, it ultimately meant that I was only the butt of their jokes: you never really were one of them, that they're ultimately a different animal.
The biggest surprise, I think, is that you never realize how many people in junior or senior high feel that they're outsiders, to one extent or another. Maybe it's because, other than comparing yourself with the "in" group, you forget to look at all the others.
Also, I did know two guys, one in high school and one in college, who were both very smart and very popular. I think it's because they combined intelligence, charisma, social ability, athletic ability, and good looks.
summerdevine
· 5 months ago
Wow! I have never read anything or spoke to anyone who ever understood what school is really like for kids as much as you do. Your words capture what I have felt and tried to explain perfectly. I wish there was a way to make this required reading for every person who comes into contact with kids/teenagers. I am standing up clapping for you, really well done. I think the part I connected to most was when you discussed what school is really about and left the "nerd" topic behind a little bit. This was the most interesting, thoughtful, honest writings I have ever read anywhere. Personal question, how old were you when you wrote this and why did you decide to?
8thgrader
· 5 months ago
Wow! This is amazing! I guess I'm pretty much a nerd but I wouldn't say I wasn't popular. I'm just going to 8th grade and I'll probally remember this till high school. I'll look back at it because I know I will want to be popular proabally in high school but I have to tell myself, would I rather be smart or would I give everything up just to be popular. Even though it might sound tempting I would hate to give up friends that actually like me for who I am and giving up being smart, well thats just dumb...
bryceraines
· 5 months ago
hell, im a nerd, and im popular, and smart. i could be more popular but i already have been there. ive been part of probably every group at school. nerds, geeks, jocks, dumbasses, drama, band, preps, emos, goths, you name it ive been it. i just like to sit bacck and watch the world
bryceraines
· 5 months ago
and i have an iq of 162, so im very smart.
jesario
· 5 months ago
If you think about it, desiring to be popular is idolatry. This means you want the attention more than anyone else - like you will be king. Desiring to be smart, is the same thing, you want to be smarter than everyone else another king.
The one thing to master in this world is love. There is nothing greater, stronger, healthier, full of everything you need, than love.
Many people reading this, and get it probably never thought about this before. So, you have been living for something else, and that is OK. God wants to forgive you. Forgiveness comes through belief in Jesus.
If you are turned off by that name, as I was once, you should find out the truth for yourself before you laugh at it.
Take a Bible, read the book of John and think about it.
Grace to you
isolateme
· 4 months ago
I bet that you copy and paste that crap onto every article you read. I bet you're paid by some company to do that. FYI, nobody came to this site to learn about religion.
jesario
· 4 months ago
Hi isolateme,
Thanks for your reply-comment. Please allow me to answer your questions.
I customized that comment just for this article. Also, I gain no money for writing that.
You seemed to like what Anna wrote above, where people were respecting each other and helping each other. If I am not mistaken, if the students in America followed the simple rule of loving each other, as primitive that may sound, what Anna was talking about would automatically happen.
Seek the truth, and the truth will set you free.
Grace to you
tm4
· 4 months ago
Unfortunately, you are being naive. The reason isolateme answered as he did is partially that any highschool student knows that it isn't just about following the simple rule of loving one another. Telling that just does not work. You should realize that your answer is not satisfying, as often happens nowadays with religious answers. Not because religion is 'bad' or 'useless' but rather because it cannot be the all-encompassing paradigm for solving social problems as it once was. Indeed that is the whole point of the essay: to uncover and show why this phenomenon happens and provide a lead for the solution. Anyone that experienced the situation in point and reads both the essay and your advice is much more touched by the first. The religious cannon is admirable in itself but it does not adress this situation properly, in part because it was not designed to. This should be at the forefront of one's mind upon reading the scripture.
jesario
· 4 months ago
Hi tm4,
Thank you for your comment.
I am not sure if that is what isolateme meant, and I am not sure how you are sure, in partiality, (that) that is what they meant.
I do not see why loving each other would not work to solve the social "paradigm" of different groups of people who do not respect each other.
I mentioned the Bible for those who read what I wrote and would like to know more. However, I do not see how a statement of "loving each other" immediately means religion. Though, it did seem to you, so this might be some realization for you.
The Bible was designed to address all problems of the world and everyone in it. In fact, the entire Bible is about love. The reason you do not know this is because you do not really know the Bible and you also do not have a relationship with God.
I believe this, based on your comment. You can start to change your mind by having a read with your heart instead of analyzing the Bible with the "forefront of your mind."
Grace to you
veronica11
· 5 months ago
did u know that school wasn't made for smart people it was only made for the average and thats why smart kids don't fit in its not made for them. i fill that people shouldn't show of their smartness thats what gets their buts kicked. well i had this freind and she never involved me listened to me or talked to me unless i talked to her first and were meant to be like close friends and all so i stoped trying to be her friend just not bothering being nice to her like saying hi when i walk past her and guess what now all she wants to do is talk to me its anoying. When your the nicest most loyal freind to someone they tret you like crap but when you don't bother with them like ignore them because your sick and tied of being traeted bad they come running back like wonded puppys
Kenneth
· 5 months ago
Awesome article. Totally agree.
elizabethk
· 5 months ago
I wish I was a nerd. I'm not smart enough. I wasn't popular, either. I was "nothing". But I tell my teenage kids that Nerds Rule the World. They have Bill Gates as an example. It's a slightly different world than when I graduated from high school in 1982. If you want a lift, watch Napoleon Dynamnite. Stick with it even if the movie seems silly at first. The kids who were popular in school just don't get it. Everyone else gets the movie!!
elizabethk
· 5 months ago
By the way, you nerdy guys might be hypocrites. you whine about not getting the girl, but which girl did you want??? The nerdy girl at the end of your table, or the ditzy one at the popular table. Bet you all day dreamed about the cheerleader, not the girl who excelled at math. Shame on you...
isolateme
· 4 months ago
Is there a 3rd option here? A girl that isn't nerdy and isn't a ditzy cheerleader? Another note: A lot of nerdy girls don't date. They are too busy getting smarter. Did you even read the article?
eikinkloster
· 4 months ago
Nerds are a tiny minority. Let's say, 2% of the frail. If a male nerd is to date a female nerd, he is that limited in his choices. It's no surprise those he'd feel atracted too were in other 98%.
Plus nerddom doesn't distribute simmetrically. In my Engineering class there were half a dozen girls for almost a hundred guys.
Naoj
· 4 months ago
Thanks.
Having grown up in Scandinavia, I recognize an awful lot of what, you are writing from own experience. I, too, wish I could go back and tell my 14-year-old self, what I know now. Even if I'm not sure, I would have believed it: That I would grow up, find like-minded friends, go live with a lovely nerd, who actually likes my nerdiness, get a job that makes great sense to me and - be happy. That I shouldn't really have to mourn the fact, that I would never fit into that, which back then seemed to be the only real world.
I think, what might really have helped back then, is if somehow, someone could have just introduced me to some more nerds - of any age - to make me see, that I really didn't have to feel so alone. I don't know, how this need could have been explained to me back then (seeing, that I really didn't like to be identified as a nerd in the first place), but it might have prolonged my life with several years. As it is, it didn't really kick off until I was about 19...
Regards.
ashalayy
· 4 months ago
My English teacher always told me, "Don't make fun of someone because they are smart. In your school years, they will be called "nerds." Once you get into the real world, they will be called "boss." Being popular, in fact, is how most people go through with high school. these days, everything is all artificial. the only way you can succeed is with the things you have. you may be pretty, but if you don't nice things, it may be almost pointless. that's why pretty people tend to try to stick with other popular people. in my opinion, people should try to stick to being average instead of being popular. there are more "middle" ppl anyways. the middle people could easily over power the popular, but they are all afraid. another thing that makes the populars powerful is because they have money. they could easily use that money and make other people's lives miserable. they learn this from the adults in the world.
Juliana
· 4 months ago
An excellent reading. The ´terrible teens´ are hard. If I could go back to my 14 years old self I would tell myself to be true to myself, and not let other people´s insecurities get me down.
I think teachers should be given the chance to be more than just wardens; part of the reason they often don´t give more of themselves is economic as we know, especially in public schools.
I myself was a ´freak´ I suppose but today I am grateful for having maintained my independence. I achieved my goals, and it wasn´t because I knew it would pay off, but because I reached a point I didn´t care anymore.
If kids were given the chance to embrace themselves as they are and taught confidence, maybe they would be more sure of themselves, thus decreasing the need of proving themselves better than the rest. It starts in childhood, by complimenting a child for little things as well as big things is a good start. Self-confidence is the key to success and maybe the first step toward a better academic environment for kids of all ages.
Being smart and popular are definitely not mutually exclusive.
Nerds are picked on not because they are smart but because they often lack the other attributes it needs to be popular - good looks, confidence and being funny/witty. Nerds put all their efforts into studying and don't see the bigger picture - i.e getting good grades isn't the be all and end all. To be popular, you need to know how to brighten up other people's day not how to factorise an equation. And whilst it might seem stupid (esp to nerds) to spend an hour on hair and make up, humans are genetically programmed to respond positively to pleasing aesthetics so scientifically speaking, the good looking kids are going to be more popular. In sum, being smart doesn't hinder or help one's popularity but it does usually hinder the development of other attributes needed to be popular.
Therefore, my personal view is that if nerds' priorities were not so blinkered and focused on other achievements outside of grades, they too can be just as popular.
chaosakita
· 4 months ago
I read a printout of this article a couple of weeks ago at some sort of youth in government extracurricular program with my fellow overachiever nerds, and I was confused. It would be a huge stretch to call me popular, but I'm hardly the opposite. Are people talking behind my back or what?
ekstos
· 4 months ago
I think there are different types of nerds: the Trekkies, and the ones who read this article (that's me!). I, though I would say I put finishing projecteuler.net as a higher priority than friends, have quite a few.
yanalaugh
· 4 months ago
Whoever you are, you are a genius. I have never read anything so dead on - so compelling.
I was a nerd - who did desperately believe I wanted to be popular - but you are right, I never did put my heart into it like I put my heart into reading Pygmalion or studying the lines in the school play. LOL. Nor would I have honestly traded my IQ for popularity. Not then. Maybe in retrospect, but not then. And it is interesting that the smartest kids aren't the most ridiculed in every country - far from it. That is a pretty British thing, actually.
veronica11
· 4 months ago
Im not popular, or nerdy or ordinary, but i have this stupid learning problem called asperges (the smart version) so it makes me not know how to communicate properly with others. its a struggle to talk to my own friends and an impossible problem because i cant even make myself talk to class mates. but I'm a chatter box i love to talk and once u get me started u cant stop me but at school i just cant bring myself to chat. also my learning prob is more than that it makes me light sensitive so at school i look at the ground a lot because every thing so so bright and i have trouble smiling so i look depressed. and im actyly pretty and i look normal. my life sucks.
Fuck nerds
· 4 months ago
Your all fucken gay cunts.
maymie
· 4 months ago
well, i dont know why my friends perceive me as nerd. I am not a nerd. Do i get good grade? Yes, i do, but with lots of effort. I think i am just a type of person who just want to make everything at my full potential. I dont read everyday. I dont pay attention in class. But I just like to get assignments or readings done in advance so that I don't have to put myself in a miserable/stressful mode. I saw my friends and other students complain about how busy they are, how many hours they slept ... to me, it's all about managing time. Unfortunately, people just think i am a nerd....
Mason Wheeler
· 4 months ago
You're dead on with the historical comments. There's no such thing, objectively speaking at least, as "adolescence." It's an invention of modern America, a confused state in which people are expected to behave as adults while receiving none of the privileges and rights pertaining to adulthood. This is a bunch of crap, of course.
It's safe to say that anyone who comes through here is most likely nerdy enough to be familiar with Spider-Man. We all know and understand that with great power comes great responsibility. Thing it, it works both ways. With great responsibility comes great power. It's like a balance scale, or an algebraic formula: the two sides have to be equal, and this is intuitively obvious to any well-developed mind.
"Adolescence" violates this basic psychological principle by adding social responsibility in large doses with no corresponding increase in rights (social power.) If adults wonder why teenagers act crazy, they ought to consider the way they drive them to insanity by imposing upon them violations of the fundamental principles of the human psyche.
karlamari
· 4 months ago
absolutely fantastic, kudos my friend, im currently residing in highschool, its truely awful. i´m not a nerd or anything but i do find myself trying to fit in with these insane people. Its nice to have a better´perspective on it.
Cheyenne
· 4 months ago
I stumbled upon this essay while browsing Google for things about high school. I'm starting next month and i thought i needed a little perspective about what it will be like.
I do wonder if high school now has become a little less feral than what it seems to have been in your experience. I guess i will just have to see. Although if it isn't..then thanks for the heads up. I've never cared about popularity. If i make a new friend, then hey, that's great. I'd rather have a few friends that are amazing and trustworthy than a million 'friends' that only care about their social position. But then, at the same time, i am self-conscious of what those 'populars' (i just call them preps) think.
My friends call me a nerd because i really pay attention in class (not necessarily good grades), and LOVE reading. But yet they are 'nerds' too because they're interested in non-prep things and/or don't have the athletic abilities. Labels are really just thrown around these days. What a person really is, what they call themselves, and what others call them are all really different things.
I'm not sure what my point is with this, but thank you for your thoughts/insight/disaster. I'll keep it in mind this school year :]
travman
· 4 months ago
Apparently,were I come from, not wearing the stupid wide brimmed hats with logos all over them, wanting to sit out of the things like football or soccer(so I don't make a fool out of myself when I don't catch something) . Don't get me wrong, I was pretty good at baseball and football when I was younger. Then I watched a show on the History channel. Now I read books like 1984, Brave new world, animal farm. People ask me why I dont play sports. And I ask them why. In the not so distant future I wont need to be able to hit a homer or the a ball 50 yards!!!! I dont really care anymore. I'd rather read the classics and be able to make smart,logical answers while enjoying a couple games of Halo 3.
idk
· 4 months ago
I'm like, 1/3 of the way through the article but I disagree with most of what was said. But then and again, I go to a magnet high school (that *supposedly* picks out the smart kids) and went to an art middle school. Still, I really don't think it matters how smart you are so much as how you act. I hate people like Hermoine who raise their stupid hands for every single question they know the answer to. Keep your hand down and raise it when there's a hard question that no one else knows, damnit. Now I'm conflicted and confused. Are normal high schools really still like this? Really? At my school, the smarter you are, the more respect you have from everyone, especially if you're modest (aka not annoying) about how smart you are.
Dawn
· 4 months ago
I greatly enjoyed this essay, thanks so much for it. It seems to point indirectly to the potential for home schooling or unschooling to better meet the needs of a child, especially a child interested in more then clawing their way to the top of the pile.
wigglyworm91
· 4 months ago
I go to a large high school (about 800 people per grade), so it's easy for us to separate into various groups and stick to ourselves. In fact, we so rarely interact with the other groups, that I haven't really experienced this (even in classes; we have some pretty specialized electives)
Where I did notice this was in middle school... fewer opportunities to separate the nerds from the jocks.
metalhead
· 4 months ago
look im a metal head freshman that breaks rules we dont do it because we want to be part of a group we do it beause its fun. i dnt care what others say about me because my boys stand by me.if i was in a clique it wold be what we call the F**k you group nerds at are school arent smart. they are creepy people that play vid games to much are lazy and dont go outside. i ragged on a guy 30 minutes for his sweater never wore it again and he got alot more friends.
Journ
· 4 months ago
Go nerds!
pod
· 4 months ago
@IDK
Yes, but as you yourself noted, it really depends on your school. The one I went to was relatively small, and tended to focus on and admit smart students. My high school was a reasonably passable experience. I think I even enjoyed my last year.
But my sister's school and my friends' schools more resembled that of the essay above, at least from their stories.
The students create the society, so what they create depends on the students.
vivekzone
· 4 months ago
PG, that was a beautiful piece. I am quite surprised there are quite a lot of high school students out here who actually read this blog ! You are absolutely right when you say it isnt as bad for nerds elsewhere around the world. It beats me that Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian can be bigger celebrities than say Larry Page or Sergey Brin!
rm
· 3 months ago
I loved it. I am a very smart person that loves knowledge more than being with a crowd of popular people or even other people. I am the only African American goth in the school,the one man stand, and i am proud of it.
greg22b
· 3 months ago
Nice essay. The world is very backwards and epically in High School. I like the fact that you notice nerds are focused on other things. Being a nerd, I was not just focused on typical nerd things but on family problems and the social issues i was experiencing as a "nerd". (Hey, I didn't choose it). That focusing alone lowered rank. I still can't figure out how the world is cruel when everyone seems to be complaining about the same thing,.
bsaunders
· 3 months ago
I love this essay. However, I have had a different experience. I went to a private, academically focused school where nerds were well within the norms. Of course there was a popular crowd; most of them were also nerds in the scheme of things.
It was in the "real world" that I first encountered people who actually spent a considerable amount of time and energy on their social ranking and/or approval from authority figures. Guess this is why I am out of nonprofits and back in high tech! A supervisor at my last nonprofit job asked, "Doesn't it make you feel good when people say they like your ideas?" I was blindsided.
"Actually, no, I said. I'd feel better if they jumped in and responded to my ideas with a really good argument against it."
I confess. Nerd.
Madalina
· 3 months ago
ok ,smartass, don't you think that your post is kind of LONG to be read by any human of average intelligence? At least you could've made us a favor :P
Izkata
· 3 months ago
It may be interesting for you to learn that I'm a "nerd" who did beat the system. Early on I realized that the sole credits to popularity are: Athleticism, Looks, and Friends (the in-crowd, that is).
Athleticism I easily replaced with smarts, I was naturally at least decent looking, and because I was smart and not nerd-looking, people from almost the entire spectrum of popularity was willing to talk to me, mostly for math help, but at least a couple from all the levels I stayed in contact with as loose friends.
I was never fully part of the in-crowd, though, as part of it involved pretended to be adults (Parties, too much makeup on the girls, alcohol, etc), without understanding what it meant, something I found completely pointless.
And before you try to say I could do it because of the school, ours had over 3000 people. 680 graduated in my class.
(Also, I've found "geek" to be the more appropriate term, as "nerd" is more and more associated with the 70s-style borked glasses and pocket protector, whereas geeks are more into gadgets and tech)
Beavis&Butthead
· 3 months ago
Re: Why Nerds are Unpopular Because adults in schools don't favor smart people. They favor the obedient and popular. That's how they pre-train values to children. Then they wonder, that at the end America won't have enough scientists. Well, they have been driven to suicide some years ago. Where are our most brilliant people? In the graves, or - wounded by bullies - in the hospitals. Well done.
Retarded Nerd
· 3 months ago
Although being unpopular can be very miserable for nerds, there is something worse that has happened to this nerd. Being called mentally 'retarded' (not just figuratively, literally) during lunch for not saying anything the whole time hurts a lot more than simply being unpopular. Especially when this nerd thought he was smart, this comment really makes him doubt whether his perception of intelligence is true intelligence and not just a false facade.
Anonymus
· 2 years ago
Hey, I liked your essay. I do not believe though that stuff happened at my school exactly the way you described them, but it does have good point: popularity is unnecessary, and the only reason why they create such contests at puberty is primarily because kids are not given any real work that will prepare them for the real world throughout primary and secondary, not just puberty. Even though I do like school, I believe that these contests are unnecessary and that real world success is more important. However, I do not believe that all popular will not be successful nor do I believe all smart people are nerds. Perhaps most will be at mediocre-paying jobs, but not all. Some smart people enjoy socializing, but the smartest ones are the people who are nerds. Anyway, I believe even though all the points do not apply to all public schools, the main idea does and I also believe it is a very good essay. Thanks for the talent!
help
· 2 years ago
i am not dumb or anything i am in the smart gifted program i was just wondering if you guys have good argumentative essay topic ideas for a middle schooler im in news paper but cant come up with good topic that hasnt been done already and since all of you were nerds help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry if offended
will
· 2 years ago
this point of view does have validity in it, but if only high school was so black and white
i was a nerd in junior high, but i'm in high school now and i'm not one now. I didnt know anyone beginning my freshman year and i've discovered that its not just "the popular clique" and the "unpopular clique"
the "popularity system" is so intricate and complicated that one can actually climb the social ladder, one just has to discover the mechanics to the popularity system and how everyone is "related" to one another and bridge off one person. All it takes it getting to know ONE popular person, and with time, you will become popular. That popular person will actually lead you up the social ladder unconciously and as you go deeper and deeper into the popularity system, the more you find out how much more complex it is than it appeared when you stood from the outside looking in.
whew.... thats highschool...
Rachel
· 2 years ago
I think your crazy, I am very smart- and very popular. I resent the fact that you sterotyped popular people. Thank you
fc
· 1 year ago
I like this subject so much.
cheekie2
· 1 year ago
Me too!!
very
· 1 year ago
Bull Shit
butts
· 1 year ago
this is totally random, who likes runescape? i mean who does? k, im gone naw, and reply!
butts
· 1 year ago
Hello ppl im getting tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xerxes
· 10 months ago
this article is retarted. your a fuckin idiot. long live persia.
boo
· 9 months ago
shut your piehole you twat
P. Neck
· 10 months ago
That's not true, I'm the smartest kid in the whole world and i'm sooo popular. everyone is my friend and i'm the coolest kid in the school!
All Comments
I look at these American films where everyone is obsessed with prom and I think to myself.. the media and film industry is brainwashing these children. If they weren't constantly showed these materials they probably wouldn't have this obsession.
My advice - move to Europe.
having been a nerd for all my school time I've seen everything you described here but I could never explain the why. Meanwhile I've learned a lot about social psychology and educational science but I've never managed to meet someone who could rationalize to me the phenomenon of nerds in such a complete way you did in this essay. Thank you so much! I really adore you for it. Please allow me to quote extracts from it on any ocasion!
Lots of Love, Miriam from Germany
P.S. Be reassured that nerds are not only an american phenomenon. They exist in Europe too.
smarter they 1st wanna kill you(if the right given) 2nd they wanna get read of you 3rdif they cant do the above mentioned and you continue to read they're thoughts they evade you or talk shit behind your back
don't want to be your friend for sure.
Success of any organizational structure relies on three pillars: 1) adequate resources; 2) strong, responsible leadership; 3) worthwhile goals.
In the absence of these three pillars, things start to degenerate quickly.
The only thing to do is be bored, and wait it out. Another 3 years, it will drive me crazy. Anyway thats my inside opinion.
On a more positive note you would think succesfull adults (who were once nerds)would atempt to change the system. I live in England and all i ever hear from them is "Try your best, don't do drugs... E.T.C". None of it means anything.
From an economic point of view it would be a great advantage to ensure that supernerds get the best and quickest education possible, then throw them into the real world to exel at what they do. As for the dumber ones they would get almost no education and spend the rest of their lives doing the manual jobs that are currently reserved for teenagers. They could form a perfect society where everyone has his/her place.
Now, concerning education. Popularity ranks pretty low with the ability to make a positive impact in the lives of others. Granted there is the ability to get people's attention, exercise compassion, and provide some positive contribution. However, the more intelligence you and I can acquire, the greater impact we can have in the lives of others. A doctor can treat cancer. A lawyer can help people who have been wronged or injured. A scientist can create antibiotics. Popularity at the highest levels cannot do any of those things. People who make a positive difference will never be lonely, in my opinion. In my opinion, there are those who have passed on and still want to make a positive difference in our lives and are willing to be our silent, invisible, tutors in our education and career in making a positive impact in the lives of others. Close your eyes when you get frustrated with school and work and see if the words "Do it for others" don't come to mind and inspire you to sit back down and resume your work at a new level and possibly with a clear understanding of what you just struggled with moments ago. THAT is an incredible experience. That is one that will never be unfaithful, dramatic, etc. It is one that will always be positive. One from an intelligence that has a much larger picture of life and the world we live in and can best lead you to whatever positive desires you have, even if it is popularity. The only question you might be presented with is "What will you do with it? Will you use it for to make a positive impact?"
is going to be a freshman in high school pretty soon. All I really want is a
guy best friend that I can relate with, someone real...not some sports-
oriented group that just cares about girls, getting laid, or ostracizing nerds
who aren't like them. How do I get that?
The reason is, I think there's this person that has the potential to be a great
friend of mine. But he has his own basketball/baseball crew, and I keep
reminding myself I am not like him. Yet, I want to be around him. If you knew
how much I wanted to be like a teenager right now, you would get it.
How the hell do I beat the system? That's what I want to know. What is the
single thing that will get you a bulls-eye, true relationship?
But let’s say he isn’t interested in you, even if you take an interest in his basketball. I want you to then remember ice cream. Hehe. What I mean is I like ice cream with a bit of vanilla, chocolate swirl, chocolate covered peanuts, and peanut butter. I know guys who prefer Rocky Road, Mint Chocolate Chip, Oreo, Pralines n’ Cream, etc. Baskin and Robbins alone has 31 flavors! Now, have you ever ordered your favorite ice cream and looked at a friend’s and said “Hmm, that looks good, can I try it?” You then try it say “Wow! That is good. I wish I had gotten that one :(.”
Here is the first point. Every guy out there (and girl, for the guys) is like an ice cream flavor. You see what’s in the case, but until you have experienced as many flavors as possible, you have no idea which is your favorite! All you can do is guess and make assumptions. So, my first recommendation is to not set your heart on a single guy until you have dated numerous types of guys.
Second point, you are a flavor too and guys have no idea what they want either. They can look in the case and make a best guess, but until they have tried numerous flavors they have no idea which is their favorite. For guys, we have an additional complication. Our biological clock says “It’s time to reproduce, even if accidentally.” That really messes up our thinking skills, but the level of intensity varies from guy to guy.
Realize too that if you have to act or dress in a different manner to get a guy, it is not worth it. To get a “real” relationship and/or friendship, you have to be you 100% from the very beginning. How long will that take? It wasn't until I was 23 and wow did I have an incredible marriage! Every other girlfriend before that, from age 12, was just a source of good times, followed by anxiety , followed by heartache, since I always wanted to go steady and not have open dating relationships. The lack of open dating was also the cause of my divorce. I had no idea what other flavors were out there and wondered if I had made the best choice. Now, 10 years later, I am saddened that to this day, I have yet to find another woman of her caliber who loves me in return like she did. I hope this all helps.
people (actually a lot), but now I feel that there's more out there
for me. In regards to ice cream, you are right! Why should I
stick around for vanilla and strawberry when New York Super
Fudge Chunk could be around the corner? Lol.
I also think that--when I get old enough, I haven't started dating
yet--I'll have open dating. I should experience it all, not set
my sight on one prospective person.
Thanks a lot, again.
I am from Australia and currently in Year 10, and in my school it seems that the most popular people are infact smart people. Maybe they use their intelligence to realise what it takes to become popular, or maybe they are just multi talented and naturally popular (yes, naturally popular, it is possible).
Thanks for the great essay.
-This essay was great. I'd love to read more of your work!!
A good google search, to be sure.
-Qes
Jonathan Yedidia
http://nerdwisdom.com (as you can see, I'm proud to be a nerd!)
wait! I got something.....um..........STOP RAMBLING ON!
that felt good..................
Much more to say on the matter so keep your eyes peeled.
If I had my time at school again, I'd be a nerd again. Teenage girls are immensely boring.
And "will have lots of free time to read and write" ?? You act as if reading is something to kill time with, instead of something with which to increase the scope of your world. If you were a nerd, you couldn't have been a very smart one.
It is tribalism but intelligence is not the defining variable. I have know very smart populars and some very dumb nerds. The arrogance of the nerd tribe to assume that it's about smarts is one of the reasons why they get disdain even in the adult world, just behind their backs after they trouble shoot the office mainframe instead of to their face. It comforts them by thinking it's envy of their brains and that illusion gets them through the day. Nerds just have very specific attributes that give them high reward for low effort in specialized fields. They do not have many social skills because they do not require them. The survival fire is not under their buts enough to motivate them into the effort of it. Technology has created a niche they can be very comfortably successful in.
School is a primitive emulation of the adult social politics. It gets more subtle and refined as we get older but it never goes away. Every one chooses whether they realize it or not that they take the path of most reward for least effort optimizing their talents and skills. They go where the results are. In the wheat from chaff process over the long term many nerds get left by the wayside as much as dumb jocks, empty beauties and shallow populars do.
And it is a given that the nerd tribe breaks down into sub groups with their own status ranks.
School is a 'limited" emulation of adult social politics. In this Paul is exactly right. In the real world the A through D tables are so large you can choose to almost exclusively associate with the type of people you prefered in school. When you feel uncomfortable as an adult it is because you have been forced to deal with people you did not like in school.
I feel really bad for you actually.
Im a sophmore in high school.
And i make fun of all the nerds at our school all the time.
But i don't care because im not one of them.
It's fun, because being the so called "nerd" and being small, also makes me immune to almost all punishment. "He started it, I defended myself, why would i try to fight someone twice my size?" and I'm off. Small people have more fighting experiences then you could ever image, not to mention the speed to back it up, and maybe not pure muscle compared to you, but in comparison to body size, they most likely have more then you.
p.s. I think it's pretty funny reading all these high school kid's comments like, "I'm popular AND smart in my high school so your essay is wrong and I don't agree with it." It's not really about your or his experience through school, there's much much more to it than that.
You could be smart and attractive/popular, however, that is one of the hardest roles to play and manage in highschool, because you want to maintain a balance without messing up anything on either side, unfortunately, at this point, popularity is more important for most people, although smart people won't be shunned, nerds/socially awkward people will be out of the circle.
One thing I think is the hardest for smart people is that they realize the system. They see through it when other people can't, they know thing other people can't relate to and that makes it all the more depressing when you realize you're among the few who's in the know about how pointless school is at times but you can't beat the system. Especially the social pressure which before you and everyone else was numb to but then you see how pointless and consuming it is and yet no one ever questions it.
It's just a big, fake circle with no sense of reality, and I feel I'm just walking in an infinite loop until I graduate, the good thing is seeing kids who you know if they stick it out for a few more years, the roles will be dramatically reversed.
They always tell us that the real world is alot more harsher, scarier and worse than school. I don't think so.
I am facing many problems,because of my Asian descent and the distinctive way of dressing and walking.
Thanks for the information. Knowing this from somebody who's been through that to the real world, I can walk through the school social scenes with confidence that it won't affect me in the real world, although I've always known that, sort of consciously.
You keep saying that such barbaric situations are "back then" - but it's still like that, and I doubt it'll change any time soon.
Just as a ray of hope, there are private schools that are not as empty, and provide structure and growth for the students enrolled there. If we could simply model public schools on successful private schools, we would be well on the way to remedying the situation you have so ably described.
Overall I wreckon u can be smart n kool and that its reaally easy.hOPE PEOPLE CAN REPLY TO DIS!
@ mi skool im sorta in da middle but there r still major populartity issues
I'm not sure how I feel about the dismissive tone about popular stuff being "dumb"-- while it wasn't academic in nature, surely, my "quest for popularity" was anything but stupid, I think. I started out as a nerd (but my school was in Canada, which I am learning makes it weird-- there was a provincial instead of local hierarchy, most schools had a 'magnet'-- mine was gifted kids and an auto shop, while down the road was high-performance athletes, and another had art/drama, and another was for kids who struggled with school... you get the idea. They all still had the regular, 'local' kids, but then a huge displaced chunk of kids coming from across the city for one specific thing. But I digress) and worked my way up. I mostly did this by getting really nerdy about 'cool' things-- music, comedy, things like that. I still played plenty of video games, but I was listening to an amazing band that nobody at school would hear of for months. People would occasionally attempt to ostracize me or tease me, but I'd become confident enough that I was able to brush them off like I meant it (having a good zinger comes in very handy for this). Hell, I got a pair of stylish glasses in my junior year and some clothes that didn't look like they were from a department store (in retrospect, they probably WERE from a department store) and ended up dating one of the most sought-after girls at school! Then again, I was lucky in that nerdiness was kind of 'cool' in the early 2000s. I just exploited that fact really, really well.
That kind of leads me into my next point, which is that nerdiness is becoming chic. Yeah, we've heard it a million times, for sure. But I remember my last year of high school as virtually run by former nerds-- there was my friend M, who was the only kid our grade wearing punk shirts to school in grade 9 and was made fun of for his weight throughout, who became incredibly charming and school president in his last year. There was me, who talked about final fantasy and wore sweatpants, but at some point got a clue and turned into the hilarious guy everyone wanted to hang out with on breaks. My friend G was, well, one of my best friends, and he grew about 6 inches one summer and stopped talking funny and started looking pretty good, so he was a shoe-in.
I forget where I was going with this. Oh yeah... my point: there were kids who were nerds and freaks at the beginning of school who became the 'cool' kids by the end of school. It wasn't because they sold out and picked on other people; it was because they realized that the two important aspects of popularity are mass appeal and confidence. Once you realize the first, you recognize that virtually everyone has the potential to have mass appeal-- if you're not sporty, you can be charming, or funny, or badass, or whatever else you can think of. And once you realize what you can exploit, the confidence follows. And if that kind of reasoning isn't nerdy enough for you, I'm not sure I know what nerd even means any more.
Bullying still exists however, its not as bad as people who come from the preceding generation say it is. I'm a Senior this year, and from what I've seen nearly all of my fellow nerds have also seen little to none teasing or bullying. What seems to stay consistent is the very top of the spectrum. Kids who are rich, on the football team, or simply "hot" (as girls put it) continue to rule the school. Nerds, in their eyes, are simply losers.
But also what you wrote confirmed our decision (our kids' decision, mostly) for our home education program. Our kids learn what will promote a good merge into adult culture. My oldest loves to write, so she writes. My oldest boy loves to create and plan and draw, so he creates and plans and draws. Yes, they have the typical academic courses, but as they teach themselves, they motivate themselves. I'm there to faciliate and guide their learning.
They also have the opportunity to join in a more adult world as they volunteer their time in possible work scenarios that may end up being their life's work. My sophomore daughter teaches other homeschooled kids, and she loves it; she may have found her future in education. She also volunteers for our town's newspaper, so journalism may be in her future also. Because of home education, she has the time to pursue her own interests as well as complete solid academic work including the study of Latin, her own choice.
When I taught at the university level, I could see some of the "nerds" coming out of their shells as they accessed a more adult world. Yes, the "popular" people still existed, but there were enough nerds around for them to join together and find their niche in university life. I hope that this phenomenon starts to unravel during the more independent college years, if not during the junior high and high school years themselves. It's just so sad to know that many children suffer needlessly this way. The damage must be immense.
This statement above made me upset, yes they do set out to do it on purpose, I was not the most smartest in school, but I certainly didnt have to work hard to get good grades, my problem was people thought I was weird. I hope one day I can find an article like yours to explain and relieve some stress for being the weird kid. It helped me a little but not a lot, I didnt have the oh so sad life of being in a suburb, most of my life was in the inner city hoods of beautiful california, and the downtown mess. I didnt have a mom that liked to dress her pretty daughter nice, and she was cruel and sick minded, and then came the other adults, then the kids, like I dont remember the kids hurting me that much, because the adults ripped me apart before they ever could. It was mostly the adults in my life that wanted me to have the pain of the nerds you spoke of, and the kids just followed along. My mother hated me, so my brothers did, then my brothers made other kids hate me, and now I see how such behavior could start, you let me know how bullies really think, sadly my biggest bully was my mom.
Thank you for your article, and I'm glad I did a little more healing.
I just googled 'why' because I felt like I wanted to hear an answer to some random question I didn't ask.
This article came up, its awesome!
I'm from Australia, but I can definately relate.
I love how simple, clear and accurate this essay is.
this article is amazing and definetly sums up school life
I'm from ireland and the social system in my school seems very similar to your schools
(by the way I am in 2nd year or 14th grade i think)
Here in Brazil, at least in my school I didn't saw much of this bullying and outcasting, it's weaker here. Bullies are often recognized as plain evil, even to other children. But I think you are right: schools works as a prison, just because kids have no use. And I started reading this article believing this was the only way.
i can see how it got kids attention from around the world.
nice judgements.
I'm currently considering my status as a would be customer service representative and wondering if I'm actually a nerd.
I was a "freak" in high school, always wore black and sure, I had connections with the so called "dorks" in high school as well. I'm currently unemployed and have been for about a year and a half and I'm just about ready to re-enter the workforce so I've been searching for an identity that I can hold on too as I re-enter the "real world".
I'm 25 and living in the suburbs again with my parents and I can tell you, it'a a bit of a nightmare. This place is deserted. TAKE ME BACK TO THE CITY!
Ahhh well, If you're reading this you're probably wondering if I have a point to make.....well, I don't!
HAHA!
Have a nice day.
You constantly feel you have to keep up and image, and as soon as you laugh "too loud", or make a fool of yourself it's seen as scandal.
But I didn't know where else to go, all my friends were in the popular crowd.
Then we were mixed up for subjects such as maths and science, and in top set I met other people as none of the popular crowd was in top set. Of course there were nerds in our class, but there were also...(excuse the word) normal people, interesting people, who made real conversation, instead of meaningless gossip. I loved it, and made some amazing friends.
I suppose now me and my friends would be...about B or B- in the popularity scale.
I could never go back to the popular crowd, because I'm now an outcast from that group. But I'd never want to go back there.
Your article triggered a lot of memories for me :) Thanks for posting it.
Whoa, my comments almost as long as your article so I'll end it on this - When describing popular kids, all you can say is "They're popular". Popular with who? Their friends. Does make everyone popular? No of course not. So why are they described as popular? Because without their popularity they have nothing else.
I'm being very blunt here, but for years I have been observing the way people act, etc. I figured that I might as well share my knowlegde.
If you really think nerds are smarter and the popular cool kids are dumb then your wrong.
I used to be on the Basketball team and now I am on the Track And Field team in my high school and I am in honors.
Many "nerds" are in Honors, but in regular also.
Nerds aren't that smart, plus I rather be on a sports team with a 91+ average and have a nice social life rather than being a nerd. A nerd with a 93+ no athleticism, and almost no extra-curricular activities except for chess team.
Why aren't nerds popular? Cause they aren't that much smarter then the "cool kids", they talk to themselves a lot, start conversations with random people about random stuff... Example:
Me: Hi
Nerd: Oh hi, yeah so I can finally kick my brothers ass in Halo 3..."
Me: Um Okay cool bye.
Okay maybe I started that one but you get the point.
Also even geeks some of 'em have like 98+ AP classes averages and such AND DO SPORTS, they also have a good social life...
Nerds are more of the fat kids who snort when they laugh and such.
The difference is that there's a reason to fit in online. It comes naturally from practice, and online culture makes you smarter. not myspace of course, but in general finding articles like this and arguing about them is useful. You can always leave the game, or be a passive observer. And the society is far from a closed bubble, of course.
So then, why are there people as abusive as Marco? why would those who fail at being acceptable online be in any position to bully? I think it's a habit. good luck picking on the nerds on the Internet, you'll drown in reasoned debate.
by the way kristina, you're as wrong as he is. jocks aren't all stupid, and honors takes dedication. You fit in online quite well, because of your experience and intelligence, and so you bully less intelligent people who are awkward online.
nerds bullying jocks...ain't the Internet great?
I get that "yeah... that sounds right..." feeling.
I guess I just want to say, being yourself and out there is extremelly important. Don't just limit yourself to one friend group, try out different things, don't be scared to fail and you'll make lots of new friends and be invited to many parties and feel loved and popular:-) thanks for reading.
pretty hard and harsh, mind. at football, i was always embarrased at being one of the last ones, but id look real dumb wandering around on the field.
part of it, i found out, is racism...
You write as if you knew me in school. At my 20th reunion, a woman, whom I didn't recognize, walked up to me and said, "I'm so sorry for what we did to you." I'll spare the details of those dark years, as you've outlined them in your essay; all I could add would be the particulars of my situation.
Based on my experiences, I have a lifelong hatred of bullies, utmost respect for folks like John McCain who were POWs, and a strong dislike of planning, utopianism, and ideology. I hope that the homeschooling movement helps to deschool society (to borrow Ivan Illych's phrase), and that the utter failure of our schools, in an era of shrinking budgets, will lead to their collapse, a la the Velvet Revolution that swept away Communism in Eastern Europe. Thank you for the public service you've done by so eloquently identifying the root causes of the problem with American public secondary schools: purposelessness and boredom.
-Lloyd A. Conway
P.S. Parochial schools are different, I think. Where my wife teaches, they do have a mission, the kids learn, and they're a pretty happy lot.
but i'm a straight A student and i'm popular so i don't understand why other smart people can't be popular
Hhhmmm!!!!!!
Now I'm the mac and it has made the past all worth while.
This should be required reading at all high schools. Cant wait to read the rest of the book in between my hacking binges.
I would consider myself slightly 'arty,' and if I had to place myself in a social ranking I would be just above average. I'm odd though, in that I have close friends who are in the Rugby A team (a sure-fire ticket to social stardom) and nerds who spend lunch break looking up upcoming video games on the internet. This has its drawbacks, as in I am invited to parties where I feel very uncomfortable, or drawn into sports conversations I honestly couldn't care less about.
Partly because I am what I like to call a 'secret geek.' I am ashamed to say that I pick on those who are truly unpopular like everyone else, when in my heart I do the same things they do. I just don't tell anyone. I often wish I had someone to debate Buffy the Vampire slayer with, or to write with on a pbp rpg. But I shroud these things in so much secrecy, because they're existance would send me spiralling to the bottom of the social ladder.
Wow, this really mutated from 'i like this essay' to an introspective on my life. It feels good to type this, safe behind my iron curtain of secrecy. Anyway, I really like the article. It's very true.
- J, of Guildford
here is another nerd, who is just finishing school and doesnt know where to go, my aspiration is "the sky is the limit", no wonder why I dont like those people who say "you can become a doctor" for I dont want to become a doctor, there are doctors !!
I may like to talk to anyone of you here ( because anyone has read this page and is reading the comments must be a little geek) so you can find me in Yahoo Answers "hidden" under the nickname of WISE_monkey .
I would really like to chat with you, by the way I am a born christian-arab (dont activate your hearsay system) , but I dont care for all those racism, because i know that we all humans share one thing, for we are VERSION 2 OF MONKEYS.
peace on all
Fortunately, I am one of the few who have a bit of use in society. I got some prints of my artwork into a local art store recently and hope to add more soon! :) (my website shows them)
I was beginning to question the whole system when I found your site! Thank you so much for the advice!
If you are anything like me you will try to analyze what I said to find out which category I am in. well I’m going to ruin you fun and tell you. I’m not in the popular crowd, but Im definitely not a nerd. Luckily I popped out a female and as we all know, the anatomy of a female (no matter what she looks like…ok maybe with a few exceptions) gets a heads up on the scale of any nerd. Aka, a nerdy boy usually looks worse than a nerdy girl. I’m getting off topic… my point being I am not a nerd. Neither did I get good grades. I’m terrible at spelling and grammar and its embarrassing how horrible I am. I guess you could say I’m … a little slow, at everything. I was a ugly little thing in middle school but by the time I reached high school popularity groups had already been established, restricting me to only jump up a few notches never allowing me to reach the most popular peak, (which I didn’t care much about as long as I wasn’t an outcast). I also didn’t care because what really mattered was what the boys thought of me, not the girls. A popular girl could trick herself into thinking I’m not competition because of my social status conducted from previous years before, but males at that age don’t thing with that part of their … brain? I guess you could say.
I’m only telling you all of this because I have no mental challenge at the moment, ( I dropped out of high school because my eating disorder was taking over my life and I’m getting my GED, but I haven’t had a good assignment in much too long) and I was looking for some mental stimulation. So thanks for writing your thesis, so I could critique it.
p.s. I'm still a nerd at heart. I'm in one of the best engineering programs in [my] country.
Once you get into the 7th grade the system becomes so screwed up that you stop learning entirely. Like in math, you waste your time with review of everything you ever learned about math half of the semester, and when they finally start teaching something new the repeat it so much that you don't make any progress. My guess as to why this happens is that they are trying to include people who "learn by repetition" instead of working with each student individually.
As well as that the nerds who get bad grades realize that the adults are trying to prevent this I've seen posters put up in classrooms that say things like "Question: When will I ever use this? Answer: You can never use what you've never learned." These are put up to counter the few sparks of brilliance the even the most dim witted people have, even if it doesn't answer the question. In fact it seems to me that it proves nothing. We know we cannot use it if we don't know how to, but if there is no where you are going to use it, than why bother learning it, but if you mention this obvious fact you're told you have an additude, or ironically that you are being smart.
Second: Whssaaaooo, a very interesting piece.
Looking forward to your Hard Cover!
I would like to mention that as you have it stated, "Nerd" is not interchangeable with smart, and as a result you leave out the fact that there can be many intelligent people who still are completely social. This results in a massive hole in the thesis. Nerds, people who are smart and not socially adept, are unpopular. Wouldn't you also agree that people who are not socially adept are unpopular as well (That is to say the theoretical loner who has no friends. Even if people secretly think he's cool, as some girls think nerds are cool, he still has very little social contact, and is generally unpopular, because popularity must be recognized to be measured.) Thus what you really should be saying is socially inadept people are inadept socially! Popularity is a direct measure of your social ability around a group of people, and thus in a group of people (kids) who you are not adept socially, you are unpopular. It is very rarely, and you might say never, the case that a socially inadept person is popular among kids. In a group of outsiders who admire the "really outsider" kid, he is not socially in adept, but idolized and popular, and thus adept within that group.
Thus we are left with the other side of the coin. What if what you really are trying to say is that intelligent people are intrinsically unpopular.This is closer to the truth within schools, but demands that unpopular be defined for all subsets of kids. By your definition "nerds" already don't have the social ability, but the lack of social ability sprouts from "intelligent people" ignoring it! I have known many intelligent people who have not become "socially inadept"(for we are talking only about social adeptness, as intelligence *itself* is not unpopular), and I have known plenty of people with below average intelligence who are socially inadept. At the same time, those on the fringes who are not popular among those circles can form their own "outsider" circles, but can be just as smart as those outside and just as popular as others within their own circles. Given a large enough population in any given circle, bullying between social circles would not exist.
You speak from the experience that the outsiders (D table) only had one table out of everyone. What if the outsiders had just as many tables as the A tables? What if they had more? The common idea of the "common" high school student would be thrown out the window if they were less common, however in everyones minds they remain the same( the sports team/cheerleading partiers). However when there are more D than A, doesn't existing in group D give you much more popularity without as much social restrictions, especially if you already have been associating yourself with that group? If you have declared yourself a nerd, and now you enter an environment with more nerds than sports players, you are on top (college matches this perfectly). Intelligence itself doesn't cause unpopularity or social awkwardness now, because you are in a group of like-minded people who all value intelligence. Secondary schools could be exactly the same given the right mix of students, however there will necessarily be less like minded intelligent people because not all people go to college, and thus the ratios will be different. In today's high schools, intelligence has become a more popular thing to have that previously. It is not as important a factor yet as "fitting in", but given the right set of conditions, children will find the next big trend and just like your example of John Nash picking up new habits of the people he admired, they will latch onto the trend and run with it.
To sum up: Intelligence is not a factor in popularity, but associations and populations of like-minded people is. If there is enough people with the same ideals as you, you will have both popularity and social acceptance, whether this group values intelligence or field goals, or whatever. The current status of the schools can change, but the change can be seen in the students without new school systems given time and the right societal changes to redefine what is popular.
"Popularity" has many faces.
A blabbering extrovert does not equal popularity in some circles.
Though schools certainly vary.
In my school, there is no one society of teenagers. There is the main collection of students, divided into blacks and whites and grays. There is the main group of athletic kids, and then the other groups. The smaller groups lead happier junior high careers, are smarter (though not necessarily academicaly), and quieter. They are also close-knit among each other, and there are certain social classes that neither harm nor benefit. They look at the main group, with its intricacies and its drama, and laugh. I am one of the outsider group.
It's interesting to see how else a junior high system can be organized, but it seems that it all boils down to the same bubble and the same need for organization--however savage.
Though, the intricacies of junior high life are more likely than not infinite. There is a certain rulebook built into people's minds absolutely FILLED with exceptions and clauses. Popularity is not a black and white thing, and the society in a school is not singular. A school is a large enough environment to achieve numerous societies with their own social castes. The way you have written about it simplifies it: "popular" is defined by being liked within the largest society in the school. In reality, it is different. There are cliques which range from large to small, either having or not having social classes. Smaller cliques form larger societies of closest-knit cliques, in which existing social castes blend and conflict with each other.... As I said, the rulebook has infinite clauses. I say this coming fresh from this system on a Friday night after school.
So, you certainly might have included more about that in your essay. Though all in all, there's definitely a lot of good in it. Good job, and thank you for giving me something to think about.
My high school experience was a little different and doesn't fit the mold. It was an all girls Catholic High School. It was entrance by exam, college prep, and very competitive. When girls don't have to worry about being unattractive to boys, its a funny thing. They get smarter. And lacking achieving male attention as a common pursuit, they compete at being smart against each other.
While the smartest girls were NOT the most popular--which holds with your distracted theory, I found--they were not persecuted or unpopular by any stretch but greatly admired. By Junior and Senior year there was very little antagonism between the popular and unpopular girls.
I was by all rights a nerd but I ventured into the freak category in as much as I flaunted not studying--but this was to differentiate myself from the Grinds. I was NATURALLY smart, you see. This was my way of setting myself a part--advertising emotional angst and complete intellectual boredom. This eventually succeeded in getting me begrudging admiration across cliques--or at least it seemed that way to me. And while it prevented me from developing a good work ethic, it set me apart.
To show you how unusual the all girls competitive environment is: the most anticipated day of the year was rank day. Each quarter there was a clamoring as the class rank was posted. The top 5 (which occasionally but not usually included me) were quiet, sweet girls who worked hard (I was the exception, there--Lazy But Smart). They were universally well liked, for no other reason than they were NICE and eager to please but not sycophants. And the Top 10 was not without at least 3 or 4 of the most popular girls in school.
The real social qualifier, in most cases ESSENTIAL for popularity: MONEY. And you could tell who had the money even in uniform: by the earrings they wore and their shoes alone.
An unusual but interesting and, for a female, invaluable high school experience. If I could send my daughter to an all girls educational environment I would in a heartbeat. It never occurred to me in high school that being smart was a liability.
That didn't happen until I discovered boys and the rest of the world in college. Talk about a rude awakening.
P.S.
The guy below me (DO not wake the Dreamer) is very ignorant not because he said it is "stupid" but to have such a small statement not even to back it up (probobly Cause he didnt read it all) and negative comments for what? does it make him feel better cause he pts a "stupid" smile at the end of his sentence? I hate "Stupid" People
How can you put a value on that? It's hard to prove, but we see it all the time with our children so we have come to believe. John Holt would be happy to see this online.
it's like i'm the one who's writing it... you can really see what's going on...
SO GREAT!!
You just cant begin to explain em.
You cant just classify reasons why people are unpopular. Their are many.
The closest I could probably explain it imo is: Basically it just boils down to people being twats to a certaing degree, and people trying to not be seen as shit or whatever by the twats. And then them who are just noticed as people the twats dont like who find it hard to socially inteeract with others.
But ye even that isnt right. Theres just too many reasons :P
But when I was in puplic school (last year) my class was mostly popular kids so every time a nerd, geek or ''retard'' came their parents would ''mysteriosly'' pull them out of school!! We didnt realy have seprate tables, but most people would move if someone they didnt like came!!!
Im bug scrole down!
It's just so funny to see how so much of your article applied to my life. Though I was a nerd during my adolescent years, I turned out graduating college with honors and getting a great job, and leaving the white trash bullies of past years in my dust.
Funny how some of the people who disagree with this article happened to be the popular ones in school. They seem to feel threatened that the nerds 'play a game much closer to the one played in the real world.' Too bad for them. They're also not the ones that are at the bottom looking up in this hierarchy.
here's the question..... In Egypt there was a god that would judge people when they die. this god's name is..
a. Anubis
b. Osiris
c. Isis
d. Amun- Re
if u get this right i will give u an award and if u want i will talk about u to my class so that way 22 people u dont know will know who u are
If I wasn't shy, I wouldn't be this smart. But w/e, live and let live.
(anubis? hard one!)
Nerds are awesome!!
"So if intelligence in itself is not a factor in popularity, why are smart kids so consistently unpopular? The answer, I think, is that they don't really want to be popular."
I realized I was lucky enough to learn this in 7th grade. Really being avrage just means they don't put in effort. I learned that because you want to achive more all you have to do is show that you put in the effert. ( Please bear my spelling it's math and science for me).
Being famous is an adult's version of being "popular at school" and look how they are treated by everyone else. No different than the relationships between nerds and popular kids - And most of them are simply famous because they're either good looking or good atheletes - just like school.
As for why smart kids are nerds.
The popular kids are:
a) the best looking
b) the best fighters and
c) the best atheletes.
Everyone else in their group are gimps, the reason why nerds stay away is because they're smart enough to realise this.
a. Semnut
b. Istnofret
c. Nafari
d. Merneptah
if u get it right u get a prize. and also if u want ill tell my whole class about u!!!!!! ill give u a hint about his son. his son was 50 years old when he became pharaoh and also u might want to check out the book " The Place in the Sun" that's where u might find the answer ;)
theres a diffrence between knowing its this_string.equal(other_string) because of what the book literally said vs knowing the appropriate use between that and this_string == that_string based on understanding of pointers (Mr. grahm, please forgive the use of java in this example, it was the first thing to pop in my head)
IE: quoting random trivia is not and will never be an accurate measure of intelligence
some popular kids at my school are in honors math (the highest)
and some nerds at my school arn't smart
i think that personality is what determines your popularity
anyway, thats just what i think =]
Americans are just across an ocean from the UK. Are you truly that different? Can you not excel academically and in sports? Can the school student not be happy independent of their academic record?
Tell me that you went to a bad, a-typical school. With your essay, and certain teen films we see over here, it paints a cruel and selfish portrait of American school life.
- Paddy.
This essay makes a lot of sense to me. One thing you said was very interesting to me:
"There was something else I wanted more: to be smart. Not simply to do well in school, though that counted for something, but to design beautiful rockets, or to write well, or to understand how to program computers. In general, to make great things."
I couldn't agree more. This explains a lot. for example, I'm a grade-A nerd (quite literally) but I don't try hard on boring assignments. I can admit I' m a slacker, for several reasons. First, I don't _need_ to try hard. I get good grades anyway. but also, I'd rather work out a tricky computer program or make yet another useless geometric picture-cipher than spend extra time reviewing for a test I know I'll do well on. nerds don't have time to be popular because they're thinking about things on a more abstract level (or maybe that's just me).
I'm a nerd, but I don't care much about grades. It makes sense, really. in the article you talked about the meaninglessness of grades and tests. I'm smart enough to realize playing the game of perfect grades is a useless as popularity (well, almost). I just have more intellectually stimulating things to do than worry about my clothes. or obsess over essays.
after this rant, though, I need to add that I do try hard on interesting assignments. I'm a perfectionist if I want to write a good essay for its own sake, if not for the grades. And a good report card is the ticket I need to slack off. Pass a certain point, and you can spend class time doodling on graph paper.
If Your Not Confident Enough
Pretty Enough
Fake Enough
Then Your Not Accepted
And If You Try Hard To Get Notcied You Get Called a Suck Up
Theres No Way Of Winning Its Quite Depressing ...Thats Why I Can't Wait to Leave School Not Because Of The Work Because Of The People
i grew up killing your friends and my parents were the same !
us cool people hate you you scum bag !
eat dirt!
i rape you in the showers while you scream my name
'again captain scott'
i love ur buttocks
grrrrrrr u nerd
If you are cool then I hope I am not, I would hate to be the link to our Neanderthal past that you are demonstrating so clearly. You are the reason this world is in caos, you are the reason there are so many wars, you very exsistence is proof of devolution and lastly you are so stupid you probably have no idea what I just wrote. :) Have fun.
In about year 8 I was friends with some of the 'popular' crowd but I didnt like them very much because they were always bitching about each other so much. That's why i tend to habg around with the 'freaks/nerds' I find them more friendly. True I dont hang around with the very odd people, but I wish I had time to talk to them more, because I am sure they are actually very nice people.
I am a High School Nerd just like the ones you talked about here, and what you have said is extremely relevant, and is also an inspiration for when I get the middle finger in class for knowing what pi is.
Just 3 more years ;)
Great essay dude... Drop me a line sometime: ferret949@yahoo.com
Thankyou
RHCP rules!
I, for the record, would like to reaffirm one point: I don't have perfect grades... nor to I really even care about the grade beyond getting accepted in to collage. My passion is Math and my hobby is writing randomly. I neither need nor care about the grade because my life doesn’t revolve around them. Grades are only as good as the person behind them.
-Vorlondel-
1st observation - To become popular often you first need to believe yourself to be above others, if you do not believe this yourself then how will others? An automatic response to this is to believe you have the right to pick on those you feel are below you. Once you do this you notice it gains you popularity and often will continue to, until your popularity is based on your ability to belittle others. However a smart person learns quicker, everyone gets trod on by someone, and a smart person very quickly learns empathy, the ability to place themselves in someone else shoes. I know myself I could never belittle anyone else for a simple reason - it could be me, and so my popularity never grew via this method.
2nd Observation - It is human genetics and most animal genetics that automatically make the strongest and most confident man or even woman the alpha man/woman and not brains, and it is true alot of people have one or the other and not both. Why? why dont clever people wish to make themselves footballers, and compete? Well often they dont see the point, it is hard physical work, why would you need that if you have brains. Actually you are looking the wrong way, often people become clever because instead of going to kick a ball around, they stayed in reading, or even watching tv (yes tv can teach you somethings) again drawing from my experience, I liked to play football, but I liked to read just as much, there is another reason I prefered to stay in (see obs. 3).
Observation 3 - Smart people often lack good social skills as children, they see things differently and do not like to talk about meaningless things such as going to school, they wish to talk about possiblities and things that often the less smart have no idea about, and this will always be one of the biggest dampers to conversation, People hate what they dont understand and so the less smart will try and shut up the smart, again this is automatically seen by others as a show of power, and so one loses rep for not standing up while the other gains for pushing down. They also lack the social skills for other reasons in ome cases, for exam they consider other people more (see obs1) and so do not wish to push in and so the conversation will go on without them saying anything (not good), when they do say something it will be misinterpereted because they know what they mean,but telling it to someone of less intelligence is not so easy (like trying to open an excel 2007 with excel 95)
4th observation - I actually have met some very intelligent popular people, who for the very simple reason that smart is seen as bad do not wish to be seen as smart incase they are disrespected.
Alot of these reasons work back and forth between each other, however it is good to know that those that have problems normally get passed them as the get older, though to say that the hierachy is not there in adults would be wrong, atleast the way people see each other can stay the same for life, I know grandparents that still despise the smart/popular/sexy/ugly for no reason other than it is what they learned to do in school.
These are my thoughts, maybe I am wrong, and I agree with most of what I read of yours.
I know there are some meat heads out there who will reply to this saying something highly intelligent such as "That was the biggest load of turd ever." to those that do - if you aint got something nice to say - "SHUT THE HELL UP"
PS it helps if you do gain some muscle to defend yourself ;)
What you guys want is people to like you yes? So be yourself. For the benefit of the younger me, that kid who is getting bullied for being different, be yourself, do not allow other people to push you around.
Talk with people dont block them out, do not be shy, if you are shy people will see it as weakness and will prey on it and you will just become more shy.
I may sound like a blathering idiot, and sometimes it is hard to communicate exactly what I mean. However I have been from the lowest of the low to the highest of the high. I am not stupid, I have an IQ last tested of 150, but none of it matters if you do not have friends, they are what support you, they are what make your life bearable, you can strive to be like those footballers and cheerleaders if you want, but you have to ask yourself, what do you really want, to be a stuck up arrogant morron or to have friends, because at the end of the day I will always go for having mates. "divided we fall, but together we stand tall". I will tell you a story about the difference having friends can make instead being the guy that makes everyone else life a misery.
"I was once in a club with my brother, fairly drunk, my brother is 2 years younger than me and a "popular" kid, I love him though, and will protect him no matter what. We were just standing talking to other people when another kid came over and started to punch my brother, again and again, with another big guy stopping people from getting near, at first I was shocked because I had no idea what was going on, I thought maybe he had done something, so I started to walk over and said to the guy "hey what are you doing, what has dan done" at this point no-one else was coming at all to protect dan (my brother) and the big guy just says "stay out of it", so I said "no he is my brother, tell me what he has done" at this point the big guy swings for me and I catch his hand, the guy that was hitting my brother stopped and swung for me 2 but I catch his hand aswell and hold on so they cant swing at me, at this point about 30 of my friends, swarm around us and push us apart, my brother walks outside and heads for home, while I am standing in the middle of a crowd of people all stopping these guys from getting anywhere near me, it is then that I realised who my friends were and that I would not give them up just to seem like the popular person. Those were all people who I had just accepted and talked to as people. It is even funnier that I later became mates of sorts with the big guy because he respected not only the fact that I was the only to stand up to him but that everyone else rushed to protect me but not my brother. "
There are many bullies who you may think you are above or better than, there are many snobs that you may think you are better than, footballers, cheerleaders, even bums, and tramps or your average joe. Let me put you straight, and if you are clever and of open mind you will understand this - "You are wrong". You are not better or worse than anyone around you, you are different everyone has been shaped by different lives, by different genes, but at the end of the day if you do not understand that, you are just as ignorant as a racist, nazi, or whatever, that may be hard to take, and I am not saying you should let people get away with what they want, you shouldn't I am saying that you should manage to understand that - in their shoes you WOULD do the same.
So next time you talk to a "cheerleader" or "footballer", talk to them not as a superior or inferior person, but as an equal.
Most important of all even more than being clever are friends and enjoying yourself, life, is for the living, live it, dont hide away and watch it go by. If you are lonely you can come on here and talk, I will talk back if I am around, but dont get sucked in to this, get out, make friends.
Please listen to me, I have seen too much misery in this world caused by one man wishing to be better than another, as soon as the world understands we can live as equals it will be a much better place to live.
I am not trying to preach here, if you are happy where you are at, I say to you stay there, but if you are one of those people who like me used to sit in the corner alone and sad, try and change it, dont keep sitting there, the problem propbably wont go away.
I have a good friend who is stuck in a rut that she has worked herself so deeply she does not want to do what is needed to get out, she has left it too long and ahs got used to being sad and alone, I watch her and I try and pull her out but at the end of the day she has to be the one to change her situation, I can provide a ladder but only she can climb it.
My message to anyone stuck in a situation alone is that you dont have to stay there, climb out, find your strength of will, the longer you leave it the worse it gets.
I dont know what more to say, there are people out there who want to get you, who are so selfish and narrow minded they cannot see beyond their own eyes, but be happy in knowing that you are not them. They will have problems all the rest of their lifes most likely, whereas you can step out and change your future. Also be happy to know that if you look properly there are probably alot more people willing to help you than you first believe. I am one but in every society there will be others there to help.
As a freshman in high school (and one of the smart girls who was saved from nerd-hood by good looks), I must say I agree. I went to an amazing elementary/middle school combo school, but once I got into high school... challenges disappeared. I've told a senior friend who agreed with me that the only reason I still go is so that I can get out of it, aka get into a great university so that I WILL be challenged.
As a guy who can't throw a football worth a damn and of average fitness level, I'm not high on the "popularity hierarchy", but I'ce also learned to not really give a damn, either in my senior year. Realizing this fact has made life a little easier.
Of course I'm also a bit older (20 as opposed to 17/18) due to not doing so well at school before (homeschool is much worse, let me tell you), and as a nerd, I'm not by far of the most unpopuar kids in school, mainly due to having built something up in creative writing class with my input (I've been doing it for quite awhile) and quirky humor. Of course it isn't the nerdiness that is getting me anywhere, but that I've learned some semblance of social skills in my time.
I think the biggest poblem for me growing up was never fitting to any of the "social norms" you find anywhere. I can get along with most groups now without really having to conform... Um, hard to explain what I mean, just that as time went on I've been with this or that group but always as an outsider. or something.
Damn.
I mean, good essay. Really hits home and gives me more hope for the future.
I'm a nerd too, and every day I get commented on who I am and the way I am.
But this essay made me realize some important things and completely changed
my view on society.
I thank you.
Before you can succeed in the external world, it's best to master your internal world. Zen meditation helps speed that process up by clearing up mind blocks.
It helps ease mind waves in a sense that it ask you to accept things are they are as they appear in the moment.
I recommend the Book "Zen Mind: Begginers Mind" to get started if you are interested.
but from what i hear i thing that what is written is 100% true
If your a true "smart" nerd reading these comments, remember one thing above all else.....what you do or not do in high school will matter when you graduate from high school...whether or not you go to college or not. Think of high school as a big fish tank with lots of other fishes......all of the fishes in the tank will eventually be released into the ocean, how popular, good looking, or athletic some fish may be in your tank will mean nothing once they are released in to the ocean......these good looking, popular, and athletic fishes will have an overwhelming amount of competition once released into the ocean with billions of other fish...their once "top-of-the pecking order status while in the tank may just now leave them feeling like a "Guppy"......it will be the smart fish that were in the tank who have the best chance of surviving in the ocean...brains matter folks. Stick to your chess clubs, your computer clubs, business classes, and stalk your school and local libraries.....it is the "Mr. & Ms. Bill Gate's'" of the world who will ultimately excel and be successful.....smart successful people in the "real world" are admired, needed, and in the end.....DO Get The Girl (or guy as-you-may).
I do know that I visited my Aunt in America when I was about twelve I think I met a grouping of 'popular kids', a group of older siblings of my cousins friends. It didn't go well, I said hi and they looked at me as if I was a repulsive insect before returning to their previous conversation. I didn't understand at the time why. I know now, that, while I regarded them ar rather rude, they viewed themselves as superior to me and thus beyond their notice.
I would agree with the point of bordom causing the various class divides and I feel that I was lucky with the ammount of great teachers I had. The only class that I was kinda bored with was history/geography and that was because I kept wanting to correct the teacher (due to the fact that I was really interested in both subjects and was reading beyond the levels he studied). After a while I just started bringing novels in, it was a laugh, he didn't notice until another student pointed it out.
I think that what you describe applies to nerds/geeks everywhere. At least, it applies to what I lived through at a good public high school in Spain, the country where I grew up, during the eighties.
I don't think the problem in the US is necessarily worse than in other countries. The advantage American nerds have over nerds elsewhere is that they can come to Silicon Valley or other geek clusters and live happy lives right after high school graduation or right after college (if they didn't get into one of the Bay Area's schools and wanted to get a bachelors degree before going to work). .
For me to come to the Bay Area, I had to work very hard through college to be among the top graduates of my class, so I could be hired by an American company based in Spain so I could be transferred to the Bay Area. By the time I came here, I was already 26 and I found myself as an immigrant here. Even though this is as close to a meritocracy as it can be humanly possible made, you American geeks enjoy the advantage of having been born and raised in the country which is home to geek wonderland (therefore don't have to deal with language/cultural barriers)! So please, be thankful to that!!!!!
You're a kid, I'm guessing that anyways.
Insulting things that you don't understand is an indication of stupidity.
It was a very well written essay and happens with various levels of harshness in schools in the developed world, it depends on the teachers and the subject matter as to how severely the groups are defined.
I would say the meaninglessness of the teen years is mirrored by the meaninglessness of the mid-life crisis years, after career success has topped out and the kids have gone off to college. Nowadays people in that age group seem to have found renewed meaning through trying to survive longer, thus becoming obsessed with health fads. Or they want to survive into other lives through reincarnation, and so take up spiritual paths.
I suspect the only reason teens feel the sub-society they are in is meaningless is because their survival needs are taken care of by others. Ask a gang banger in the projects who doesn't always get food for dinner reliably provided by a struggling working parent or a strung out junkie parent how bored he is with life. He probably is disinterested in school except as his marketplace for the drugs he will sell to finance a trip to Burger King and hopefully some bling and more. Suburban middle class comfort is what has made all of life so irrelevant to the teens you write about.
What I want to know is, do we humans ever get past mere survival as the answer to life meaning? I don't want to come up with better ways to make people of any age group feel like they can meaningfully contribute to survival issues, and so foster a more organized and meritorious social system for them to live in. That would be better than the current situation, but still not good enough, still just a delay of existential angst until the later years. Is this all there is to human existence, merely to exist?
I think Penny Arcade summed it up perfectly:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/10/28
=) (Sorry, just had to throw that out there.)
I don't think it would be possible to rank myself popularity-wise, in high school. I paid attention to my own friends and my own projects and didn't notice what the other people were doing, I was too busy with my own stuff.
By the time you become an adult, most people have become less dependent on social approval and more willing to be who they really are. It sounds like kids are more insecure now than they were in the 70s. That's sad.
Just aim for self-love and the rest will take care of itself. You can't please everybody, so find the people you respect and enjoy and they will be easy to please!
P.S. Please excuse me for my bad use of grammar.
It is astonishing to realize how much you are right by comparing schools and prisons, especially by reading this sentence in your reply to the comments that followed your article: "At my school, it was easy not to learn anything, but hard to get out of the building without getting caught."
However, I disagree with what is according to you the cause -or at least one of the causes- of that situation; you said:
"I'm just guessing here, but I think it may be because American school systems are decentralized. They're controlled by the local school board, which consists of car dealers who were high school football players, instead of some national Ministry of Education run by PhDs."
French schools are not controlled locally but by the Ministére de l'Education Nationale (Ministry of National Education), and the problems are the same than in the US schools. At the time I was at school, we didn't have the same kind of categories you can find in the US schools (I'm speaking about "Freaks", "Nerds", "Popular ones", etc.), but the situation was precisely the same: being smart meant being bullied, and it's still the rule nowadays.
Besides, from what I've heard thanks to people who are working (not as teachers, but as wardens whose work force them to be closer from the children and the micro-societies they create than school teacher) in French schools presently, this trend has eventually gained these schools: pupils separate themselves in affiliated groups such as "the gothics", "the skaters" (skate-boarders), "the rappers", etc.
Notice that I've precised that these wardens, are *close* from the children's world, closer than teachers: that's the node of the problem; having a statist national ministry in charge of schools run by PhDs won't be a solution as they, as well as the teachers and local school directors, won't have a real idea of what's actually going on in schools, being too far of the everyday life of (bullied) children to see anything.
So the solution, IMO, is "simply" to change the whole school system. Easier to say than to do, obviously; anyway I think that a good thing to do so as to expose the problem would be to make a documentary showing the daily life of a nerd at school, which won't certainly done or at least not before a long period of time...
By the way, a couple of days ago, in a French school yet not known to be a "difficult" one (understand by the euphemism "difficult": "ruled by violence from local gangs"), a teenager has stabbed another teenager for, what was previously thought, apparently no reason.
But the reason has been discovered later: they had a quarrel about "which one would rule the school".
... Prisoners stabs each others so as to determine "who rules the prison" too... :]
FC
I was called a nerd twice, that i can remember. I really abhorred that idea. But i think people, over time, had a problem labeling me because my social network was vast and crossed a lot of boundaries. And the attempts at labeling me really ended when i started playing football and after i started driving to school. As I began to buy-in to "acceptable" modes of social participation, I became more palatable.
But things I chose to do in high school, were guided mostly by my own volition. I was really trying to be popular - at school anyway.
I didn't feel particularly popular at home. And I wonder if that is what made me prey for the other kids. Could they sense that I didn't feel that acceptable to my parents?
So I wonder what the quality of the relationships between the parents and the kids who consider themselves - and are social labeled- as popular.
I've spent almost as much time as adult as I did as a child.
I think popularity and conformity still plays a factor. People still admire people that have money, are good looking, socially adept, fame, and high positional authority. But I suppose its easier to surround yourself by many people who think as you do as an adult. So if you want to remain socially awkward and focus on being really smart then you can do so relatively comfortably as an adult rather the closed system of junior high and high school.
Dude, bad lag, the article already said that.
The only thing you added is an implication that not TRYING to be popular is a bad thing.
When I entered my highschool, in mountainous suburbia, life abruptly became hell. I knew absolutely nobody, not a soul. My hair, way of sitting (I still do that; I've realized with some pride that I sit like L from Death Note), my baggy and INCREDIBLY unfashionable clothes, and the fact that I knew the answers and didn't suppress them to look like a hot little idiot (the ideal girl at my school) were a source of vicious mockery.
Being a girl, I don't get beat up; however, my combined oddities seemed, by late September of the first semester of Freshman year, to have convinced most of the school that I was literally retarded. After all, how could a person not straighten their hair, dye it platinum blonde in streaks, wear skintight jeans and T-shirts or miniskirts... etc.
The problem is that my highschool is entirely composed of people who are at least in the middle-middle class; people who aren't can't afford to live around the school. Most people are rich or upper middle class. I am probably in the upper low or the lower middle; our house was cheap, and we don't spend money on the stupid yuppie things that everyone else does. These people have lived in this town all of their lives, in most cases, and believe, as you said, that this is actually Life. They believe that MTV is an accurate representation of what they should aspire to; the bar for appearance is set outrageously high, because my classmates can afford it.
Last year culminated in the mysterious leaking of the information that my role model happens to be Joseph Merrick, the Elephant Man. After a day of bullying, missed assignments, loneliness at lunch and generic mockery in the halls, at a time where I was in tech week for a musical, was too depressed to eat almost at all the whole week, and danced six hours a night in rehearsal -- I'd had enough. I was walking to the bus home, getting snowballs thrown at me, and trying to ignore someone who was just being stupid and annoying, about Naruto or some crappy show. Anthony, one of the biggest jerks in the school (and, predictably, a star on the football team) spotted me and began, loudly, to trumpet like an elephant.
It was about then I was going to just stand there and scream at the whole situation, when one of the special ed kids walked up and hugged me and said it was all right. Great kid, and for a while after that, I was almost happy when people whispered about my 'retardation'.
Thought I'd share that story -- Anyway; I love this article. A lot of the time, I get fed up with school in the extreme; I'm only in second semester of sophomore year, and things are unbearable again. My (violently bullied) friend from back downtown loves this article too; it helps make a little bit of sense of our stupid high school lives. When I feel like just quitting, I read this article, usually in conjunction with The True History of the Elephant Man.
Actually, I'm not even sure where I'm going with this... I thought it was an excellent essay that provided a lot of insight, good job and thanks.
Maybe the nerds have more in common with most popular kids than think. It seems to me you had enough time to draw a map and label people with your ranking. I doubt most people took the time in school to do this. So in your own way you contributed to social rankings; only I doubt you ever had the nerve to share your map with anyone outside of your ranking. Because you'd be stopped... most likely by one of the most popular kids. I mean this is the first I ever heard of someone drawing a map for this purpose… and I doubt you would have ever posted this map for others to see…. instead you gave it power by keeping it to yourself and only those you trusted could see it.
What is even more interesting to me is…. I wonder if this secretive world of your map drawing and the most popular kids scheming is really so different. You say a girl was afraid of being made fun of for being seen with a nerd because her friends would make fun of her. Well isn’t that telling in itself. It appears that the most popular kids would make fun of the middle classes for talking to nerds, instead of the most popular kids being mean to the nerds themselves. So the nerds went on thinking the most popular kids are the most popular because their not so bad, but the truth of it is just as the middle classes were unaware of cafeteria maps…. nerds were unaware of the real reason the middle classes were treating them so badly.
So wouldn’t it be interesting if the middle classes found out about the cafeteria map that categorized popularity then the middle classes may appear more justified in their cruelty towards nerds… and then if the nerds found out just who was making fun of the middle classes for talking to nerds-the most popular kids. Then what would be…. Probably both the middle classes and nerds would try to better themselves and not be so judgmental leaving the most popular kids to fend for themselves.
But before I jump down the throats of people who screwed me over….my question is… do we need to be divided to become united? And is that what the most popular kids are guilty of…. division? Lastly is it purely in their self-interest or without it is life more chaotic?
I always thought of the most popular kids as such a tightly knit group while everyone else was more scattered. But the reality is they've already turned on each other so since they are self proclaimed survivors they ensure that others do the same but all the while keeping things on an even keel.
Why?
Because we know the back stabbing, the rumours, the bitchy lies, and (the worst) wearing the wrong thing! Who the heck would want to try to be perfect ALL the time?
we are from Brazil (we will actually enter in high-school this year, but we don't think it may be very different), and here the life for nerds seems to be easier than in the United States... anyway, we have always been very criticized (sadly even by teachers) for our unusual habits. those teachers always said that we should "go out" more and "study less" (believe us, some teachers actually have said this to us in a serious way). many students have also made fun of us for the fact that we prefer to stay home and read about history and learn math than playing sports like most people in this age do.
we just like the way we are, it doesn't hurt us; studying (not just school-related material) is a good practice and it doesn't affect people around us in any negative way, so why do they complain? why do they think that we should go out and "have fun" (in their own opinion) just because other people do? can't studying be fun?
"fun" doesn't have an universal meaning; each one should be able to define fun as the things they like to do, so if we like to stay home and study, it's fun for us. fun doesn't always have to be "going out" and "socializing", and doing what the majority likes to do: not everyone has to like going out. someone has actually said us once: "you can't dislike going out, because NO ONE I know dislikes it.": this person certainly didn't understand that each person has a different taste.
we also thought that WE were the ones who had some kind of problem, but now we realize that they (those who judge us by our unusual taste) are the ones who are misunderstanding the whole thing.
we come from a "family of nerds", and we like being part of one, because our family supports us and understands us. some people think that nerd habits are undiscussably wrong, but they are being very small-minded.
we liked what you said about American high-schools having no purpose. we also think that many teachers preffer to give students long and pointless work with the only purpose being the grades: the point shouldn't be the grades, it should be the learning.
we also liked the comparison of the American high-school with a prison: we compare it with a jungle. one thing that we noticed here where we live is that, until 4th grade, the teachers always emphasized that they are like mothers. but, from 5th grade on, there started to be more than 1 teacher, and those many teachers for each class seemed not to care about the students' behaviour anymore, and that may be the point where their minds start to become completely twisted.
the word for "nerd" in Brazil is "CDF" (an acronym in Portuguese which means "iron head"), meaning someone who studies very much. but what we don't understand is that "CDF" is used as an offense, and most people don't like being called that way. but why? what do most people dislike so much about people that like studying? this is strange, and certainly has something to do with the failing educational system, which is very bad here in Brazil.
this is of course the situation in a whole different country, but it is very similar.
NOTE: feel free to correct our English, if necessary.
I do like everything stated about the school system though, I never thought about it that way - that school is just an institution for storing kids until they become of use. Although for the first half of my day I attend regular high school and am force-fed all the useless (for me at least) facts about history and rhetorical analysis, the second half of my day is spent at a magnet school full of specialized courses in math and science that are very useful, and the teachers genuinely care about turning us into the best scientists we can become. So I do agree that in general school is exactly as the author interpreted it, but the point of my whole response is that there are always exceptions.
(p.s. I don't know if anyone has pointed this out yet because I didn't read all the responses, but there is a grammatical error in this essay. 10 points to anybody that can find it.)
It ought to be "whom."
Great essay.
"But I'm not mean to popular people that don't cause problems,"
...instead of 'that' should use 'who' because you are speaking of people instead of inanimate objects...
"it works best to have no shame and no fear and find stuff that makes you admirably different, (like I'm a female science nerd that plays paintball with the guys,) and to find a bunch of happy friends to mock society with"
should be: "to find a bunch of happy friends with whom one can mock society" [best not to end a sentence with a preposition..]
1. The kids seem more connected to the adult world, to adults in general. Less suspicious of adults, more trusting of them; they seem to have more of a feeling of sharing the same world, and of thus being less like prisoners, and more like interns... people who are at a different stage of their experience, but in the same shared space as the adults.
2. The kids seem less polarized into popular and unpopular groups. I haven't seen kids who are typical "unpopular" kids here in Spain. I don't remember seeing any in Norway either. Yes, there are groups of kids, groups of friends, but I haven't seen the unpopular ones as clearly as I have seen them in Canada and the US. I think they exist here, but there seem to be fewer of them, proportionately. The structures of the social groupings the kids are in seem less rigid to me, here.
All of this begs the question of why it is different in North America. I don't know - but I would like to!
Do you really think so ?....
just read this
The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.
this is by the way from socrates c.470 BC - 399 BC
I like your text but some of you theories are way off ;).
I guess you are not an expert on many topics you write about ...thats somehow dangerous.But when you keep it simple with eating tables ranked A to F you are good.
"The cause of this problem is the same as the cause of so many present ills: specialization"
so why is that an ILL ? I am pretty sure no generation hat more whealts, health (lived longer) and more knowledge...So why is it ILL ?
To me (a nerd, and proud of it), there are two types of nerds. There are the kind who lack social intelligence, but they are generally happy where they are. And then there are the kind who are very socially aware. They have a tough time, because they don't fit in, don't really want to fit in, but don't want to be a loner. Anyway, there you go.
Focus on what's important, and try to never loose compassion for people, because we are all the same deep down. Hope this makes sense from a 101 year old all the way from Australia....
I also avoid sports as a matter of personal preference, even pride, but I am friends with most of the fencing team at my school. However, they seem to be one of the only sports teams that have mostly "nerds" on the team who discuss Shakespeare and the meaning of life/42 at the lunch table.
I have found, though, that the most popular people at the school are not the so-called "jocks", but the drama kids. There is a definite hierarchy in the fine arts program, with the upperclassmen drama people on the top.
i assure you, this essay may be true 4, maybe 5 years ago... but now, its the smart kids that get the girls. even if your not very attractive, people will know you. my freind, he's black, he's not the typical stereotype of ghetto. he's VERY smart, and the girls seem to LOVE him. even the really pretty girls love him, they all know his name and want to be around him! i didnt understasnd it at first, but now, its all too clear. it seems to make me wish i was as smart as him, i dont even care if im ugly. i jus want to be smart, but i dont want to be smart because i want to get GIRLS. i want to be smart because i think it would make me alot happeier, i would understand things easier. do well in school and please my parents much more.
Some black kids have always been popular because of this reason: They were seen as romantic heroes, struggling against the Big Bad of Racist And Unjust society. This was particularly true in the sixties on university campuses. It might have seeped through.
Personal advice from me to you: Start reading more books, your spelling is horrible. Cut back on watching TV show with at least 2 shows per week. In those two hours you can read really good books. Start with Harry Potter, they're really good, exciting and completely spell-checked .... ;)
Thanks.
As a European, I've always wondered, when watching US highschool-dramas, why the popular crowd could stay so popular while being so hated by the majority? This kinda clears that up for me.
This sentence made me think that there's a film in here somewhere:
"Kids are sent off to spend six years memorizing meaningless facts in a world ruled by a caste of giants who run after an oblong brown ball, as if this were the most natural thing in the world. And if they balk at this surreal cocktail, they're called misfits."
For example this could involve a group of adults, being sent of into a strange surreal prisonworld, with literal giants and a mandatory game with mysterious rules. At the end of the movie the adults would transform into children, the prisonworld would be revealed as a suburban high school.
Such a film would be highly instructive for nerds. Like you said, if only someone has told you that it was prison instead of making you read Lord of the Flies ... Yah ... if ONLY ... ;)
Be of good cheer.
The first half of this "essay" was in fact interesting....some points I agreed with, some parts I found insightful, and some premises I thought were incorrect and off base. Mostly I thought to myself that the issue at hand was less universal than the author implied - what he described was not the case at my high school for example, and my girlfriend agreed that it was not the case at her daughters high school either...but in both cases we attended schools where accomplishment and achievement were and are rewarded (I attended one of the top public high school in the United States...my girlfriends daughter attends one of the most prestigious private schools in all of Canada). Ont he other hand, my girlfriend did agree that this sounded a like like HER high school, as her parent did not have the means to send her to an elite academic focused private school.
However, by the middle of the essay, it is clear the author is just an overgrown tortured soul still writing in his teenage angst that he has not been able to grow up and past. They hated me because I was smart...they hated me because I was more mature...school is useless anyway - it is nothing but a prison.
Dude...you got picked on because you were a social misfit. The same urge that prompted you to right this drivel...that need to be heard in order to prove how smart and more advanced and evolved you were...that is the urge that got you ostracized in high school. Sure, lots of what takes part in high school is banal. But lots of what takes place in adult life is banal as well....things like wanna be intellectuals leveraging the wonderful democracy of the internet to final be "heard", for example. Ones in ability to deal with this reality...dismissing what was not of interest to you without being so clearly dismissive of those who it was of interest to....the ability to pick up key clues about the social behavior that is the very fabric of our society (the good and the bad)...is both part and parcel of true maturity (which isn't just measured by intellect) and of a proper emotional balance.
Everyone else managed to get along except the kids at the "D" table. You've decided it was because you were some much smarter and more mature. That isn't the case. it was because you were so self absorbed and vain that you purposely stood apart to bring attention to yourself...and that is what you got.
"if these "smart" kids were so smart they wouldnt be wasting their time making maps of how popular people are ....if these kids are so smart why cant they figure it out that they just chose to not be popular ... if they are so smart why cant they find happines .. the thing is as seb said "they simply lack social intelligence " and thats why i think they are considered outcasts .. and not because they are too smart"
It appears a teenager understands something that you haven't figured out, even in adulthood.
Get over yourself. Really. You're an adult now.
I definitely think that i can relate a little bit with this author though because i know that i just choose not to be popular. I don't have the time. I have AP classes, debate, and work... no time for parties and talking on the phone about nothing for hours. I wish being popular didn't take work... that would be nice.
I am a graduate student who TA's at a top-25 (but not top-10) university. The students here are very smart. They're also very attractive, and they dress well. While a few of my students are socially awkward, this is not the case for the vast majority of them. I suppose it's possible that the majority--or even a large minority--of the students here were 'D-table' (or C-table) kids in middle school and high school and suddenly learned how to dress well and fit in when they met all the smart people here, I have a hard time believing that. I have a much easier time believing that these smart kids were mostly A-tablers than D-tablers.
Aussi, je suis d'accord avec GoGoBear et je ne suis pas un Francophone. Je suis le cours de francais depuis quatre ans et je n'ai pas utilize un tradectur electronique.
First, in American schooling the idiots win. Not just popularity, but in grades too. (which you seemed to have not seen) Due to the fact that the school system is designed for the slower end, in order to pass you must blindly memorize facts and are not required to understand the subject itself. While that may seem like something that would make school easier for the “smart kids” to pass, it in fac makes it harder. Those who have a higher range of intelligence usually have a much tougher time passing because the questions tend to be worded in a different way then our brains are thinking.
Secondly, as you pointed out already, the majority of teachers don’t care anymore. But I hate to say they all are like that. I’ve had many teachers who accomplished their job and still had the energy to go beyond their duty (throughout Middle school in particular). I honestly believe that when the government took over public schooling they ruined it for everyone. Lazy teachers merely teach for the SOL requirements now because that’s all they need students to pass. For example, when I entered middle school I was shocked that teachers kept teaching not only after the SOLs, but up to the very last day . When the SOLs ended in elementary school, we had gotten to watch movies the last two or three weeks of school.
These are just two things I felt I needed to defend, but I do agree with a good portion of what you have here.
The school has nearly entirely segragated the two halfs, it's an interesting, generally beneficial dynamic.
The only bullying I've heard of was within the two factions and there isn't much.
I am a nerd but I belong to an entirely independant social structure from the stereotypically popular kids so I don't even think of them.
There is no particular hierarchy to the nerd half but a distinct one within the 'normal' kids.
Independantly the students have basically seperated into two schools that just happen to be housed in the same building.
There are 1600 people at my school, about 400 in my year and I will probably never meet 150 of them and never have a single class with them.
I would think this sort of setup is highly unusual but it's all I've known and the teachers have long excepted it.
can. It does not really matter what University it is. What matters is you and how
much you really want to acheive. Use nerds can make it anywhere, not just at
Popular universities.
I'm a high-school senior right now, and this makes perfect sense to me.
It's been strange for me, though, because I became one of the non-conformist "freaks" in middle-school, and I was on the wrestling team throughout most of high-school. I was kind of alienated wherever I went: I was a freak, but I cared about studying hard; I was a wrestler, but I was a freak and I studies; I was a nerd, but I was a freak and I wrestled. This perspective of mine led to a lot of insight. Your article pretty much solidified what I'd been feeling.
I think that the reason American high-schools are so much more anti-intellectual than schools in other countries is because consumer-culture in America is so much stronger. Getting high-school kids to spend all of their money on new shoes and clothes is good business. I know kids that work over 20-hours a week to spend their entire paychecks on nothing but clothes, eating-out, and weed.
i am fourteen years old and i have a whole new outlook on middle school because of this.
im not going to look at the school nerds in the same way any more and im not going to look at myself in the same way anymore.
i believe that almost everything in this article you wrote is true and i want you to know that it has changed something in me
An observation:
In the Netherlands kids are divided according to intelligence at age 11-12. Most nerds end up in the highest level of education between age 12 and 18-19 (below that there are 3 levels for decreasing levels of intelligence, ending with schools that only teach practical hand-labour skills).
There are many problems with such a system, mostly based on the issue that intelligence just isn't easy to measure (partly solved because based on merit students can still move up and down the levels during their school career). But for a lot of students it created Nerd Heaven. I was surrounded by 500 students who like algebra, who like learning Latin, who wanted nothing more than build their own rocket. Sure we still got bullied by kids from a nearby school (let's say a school for level 3 out of 4, with nerds being in level 1 out of 4), but at least we could band together.
So maybe this is a potential solution, regardless of its many imperfections.
In mine,we had the jocks and cheerleaders, but they also included kids who were called "socsh", popular intelligent kids. There were those of us who were referred to as nerds/geeks, and there were the heads/burnouts (druggies), but they were never considered natural allies. Then there was a loose contingency of people who didn't fit in anywhere.
There were instances of a few jock bullies, picking on whomever (always male) they found to be a convenient target, but it wasn't to the extent Paul seems to have experienced. Cool girls could be cruel, but again, it wasn't a constant. Perhaps because we were such a small town things weren't quite so extreme?
I believe that to the extent we segregate into groups, and don't talk, share more experiences that differences are hardened.. but that applies to adults as well. Adults not pick on "nerds"? I don't know about that, but adults do pick on and abuse each other. Paul referenced Bill Gates, well, Gates might be highly intelligent and well educated, but he is also manipulative, greedy and highly despotic.
Whatever his IQ might be, it does not automatically translate to his output being in any way sound or positive. In a way, he is acting like the worst jock bully imaginable. He uses his money and power as cudgels instead of fists, to be sure, but still, to much the same end.
He received a Nobel prize for humanitarian acts, however the underpinning of those acts were to enable him to convince African government leaders to allow a pharmaceutical company Gates was heavily invested in, to test an AIDS vaccine on poor Africans. As a result of his insidious influence, AIDS actually increased in the countries that participated in the testing. Gates will no doubt never be tarred with that fact, though his money and power sought the sort of negligent practices that were used. He doesn't have a humanitarian bone in his body.
My daughter attended a larger high school, in the late '90s. More students, many more cliques and far sillier names attached to them. She's highly intelligent, but much more outgoing personality wise than I ever was.
Of course by that time terms like nerd and geek were far more appealing than they were in the '70s and early '80s. My daughter certainly used them to describe herself. She was a trophy winning softball player (unlike me, who had always been afraid of being hit by a ball.), a computer wiz, a passionate reader. She hung out with kids who played sports, average kids, punks and goths, and she pretty much dressed in jeans, t's and flannel, and wore glasses.
As a parent, what was most troubling to me, was that students were far more segregated than I was. Instead of students being merely catagorized into "collegiate" and "business" courses, there were five or six different classifications. Students are being dumbed down, and too many of the teachers were the epitome of the negative stereotypes I'd defended the profession against for years. Kids have it much tougher now, and I doubt too many adults are paying attention to that fact.
I attended a class reunion several years ago, and was actually shocked to find myself having conversations with people I never would have talked to back in the day. Most were pretty much thoughtful, decent human beings. A few of the jocks had gone to seed. I was saddened to see that one of my old high school friends, a highly intelligent and motivated guy had destroyed his life through alcoholism. Even more saddened after the fact when I contacted old friends who hadn't attended ultimately because they were still caught up viewing their fellow alumni through through frames of the past.
you didnt even bs any of it!
kudos to u
but ya u didnt have to throw in that stuff about school being like a part-time prison while my parents work! that is depresing
I agree that some of the causes for teenage misery are sociological and systemic, rather than personal.
My kids, 9 and 10, are homeschooled --- people feel that their socialization must be a big challenge. It isn't.
One of the benefits of homeschool is not having to wrestle with the social consequences of valuing your mental life. My kids are unusually creative. They have excellent concentration. They initiate many projects on their own and complete them without me. In our home we encourage Imagination, Concentration, and personal control of Time.
As much as public school teachers value and want such strengths , the social environment really mitigates against it. But school authorities also undermine all forms of independence, since it may interfere with the social control they need for mass production of diplomas.
I am not trying to change the system: just seceding from what does not work for my needs. Many parents are doing the same, regretful for causing the brain- drain.
Apropos of Mr. Graham's post- high school happiness, --- according to the Myers Briggs Personality Type Index, the Intuitive Thinking types feel terribly lonely and outcast in school --- until college, where they form a large part of the population. Post graduation, they become the leaders in contemporary technological culture, which is very dependent on Thinkers who use abstraction, insight, and ingenuity in problem-solving. It would be natural for an INTJ type like Paul Graham to become a successful artist and programmer.
But in junior high and high school, these types barely survive.
You raise some really pertinent ideas here and they lead me to think of some others. I remember reading a newspaper article some years ago about the points system in Ireland. You need to get a certain number of points in your leaving examinations to get into a college course. The amount of points required is worked out according to the number of applicants and the number of available places. So every year kids apply, sit the final exams in the standard high school subjects ( none of which bear any resemblance to real life or even academic work. It's a test of recall really), then in august you get your points (max. 600, that's straight As in higher level courses) and two weeks later everyone waits for the Central Application Office to announce the points required for each course and send out offers to those lucky enough to have enough points for their chosen course.
So what you get is high points for courses in high demand (law and medicine are the prime examples). This bears no resemblance to the level of intelligence required, or even the type of commitment needed. The opportunity to study a complex dialectical thing like the law or to become a healthcare professional, that is, a carer for the sick, is dealt out on the basis of how well you can remember quotes from King Lear or draw a diagram of how freeze-thaw erosion takes place on a hillside.
What this leads to is a stratification of student-bodies. The system treats us like consumers, so those driven to attain wealth and status study the syllabus day and night, pay for extra tuition and come out with 600 points. They become doctors and lawyers. The point of the article is that they may well have been better of picking turnips. A 600 point leaving cert is no guarantee of a skilled lawyer or of a doctor suited to providing a high-level of patient care. It is also no guarantee that once in college, you won't hate every minute of it. The point is that love of learning has been replaced by a system for rooting out those who can perform tasks within a given system in the hope of reward from on high.
Other students will be less motivated by the seeming rewards of diligence and will simply drop off the radar, without ever realising (until they're in the real world, and its too late) that the world at large values knowledge and skills totally different to those valued in schools. They are a very artificial system of merit.
The really nerdy kids, the ones who stayed nerds throughout, sometimes in secrecy, will go out into the world and find that it is a much better place than they imagined. They will find people and institutions which value their skills and knowledge.
Those who were most adept in school are often the ones who seem most petty and uninteresting as adults.
These are all archetypical descriptions and the lines will blur but i think you can see the similarities with your experience.
My own experience is that I discovered philosophy after leaving school and was astonished to find that people down through the ages spent their time thinking about abstract things simply because that was what floated their boat. And I became an avid amateur. So I went back to get a thorough grounding in the subject. I still meet people every day who ask what job I could possibly hope to find in philosophy. They find it very hard to understand that I do it plain and simply because it fascinates me. It touches on God, science, art, madness, literature, logic, AI, sociology, politics, justice. It is I think, the perfect undergraduate degree, in that it is so unspecialized. When I finish I want to be involved in studying politics, ethics, logic, linguistics, and a myriad of things. Every experience I have is richer. Pain and mental anguish are both increased and diminished by it. This kind of learning never happened at school. I hated maths at school. Now I'm reading a book on Godel's incompleteness theorems simply because it piqued my interest. I want to know about quantum mechanics. None of this is necessary for me to get my degree, but had I not started with philosophy none of these would have interested me. What job will I get? Who knows? I'm 23. I may have many different jobs before they put me in a box. We don't know what kind of society will exist in ten or twenty years time. Last year I met a woman who earns her living renting chocolate fondue fountains to people having parties. 15 years ago in Ireland, nobody had a job. If you pitched that idea to a bank manager, asking for a loan to start a chocolate fondue company you might have been committed.
I guess I'm just glad that I regained the nerdy part of me that I tried so hard to jettison in my early teens, and now I'm an adult with too many books, who posts lengthy replies to blogs on the internet, and has no idea how he will provide for himself, never mind figuring out how to support a wife and kids (if anyone should deign to marry me). And I love that. And I'm so grateful that I've had the circumstances (and the generous parents) to help me do this. Suburbia is still a bitch though.
Indeed.
I must say I've read some pretty insightful things in my day, but this must be one of the most eye-opening and .....just Wow! I don't even know - I can't find the words for it.
*stands up and applauses*
Bravo.
" When you tread water, you lift yourself up by pushing water down. Likewise, in any social hierarchy, people unsure of their own position will try to emphasize it by maltreating those they think rank below."
" When you tread water, you lift yourself up by pushing water down. Likewise, in any social hierarchy, people unsure of their own position will try to emphasize it by maltreating those they think rank below."
hope more people will read this.
I'm not saying there was no teasing or ostracization, but it's true - with those two factors accounted for, being a nerd became much, much more bearable. Some top nerds were even able to turn nerd-points into actual coolness value - after all, if a large (and therefore unbullyable) section of the population thinks Joe is cool, the rest of the group has to go along with it, otherwise the whole social structure of teenagers falls apart. That they think Joe's cool for being the only one to grasp the Calculus lecture on the first explanation or for successfully arguing down the history teacher regarding the Nuremberg Trials is sort of irrelevant.
Had the same observation at some point: public schools are part-time prisons to keep the kids out of the streets, so that parents do not have to worry about them during work hours.
OTOH, I realised, that when I was a kid I behaved like an adult. Now I kind of behave like a kid. (the Michael Jackson Syndrome ;) )
A lot of things you wrote sound familiar to me. Especially why teenagers bully the ones they feel superior to. It's exactly the same thing over here.
However, German nerds have 2 great advantages:
Our school system puts the kids into three types of schools with different academic levels after 4th grade. The hardest one has a higher percentage of "nerds" than the others, so at least nobody gets kicked around for spending time on other things than being popular. I had a pretty good time even though I wore glasses, I was good at almost all subjects (especially math), I played classical music on the piano and my social skills were probably lower average. That would make me a typical nerd, wouldn't it?
The second advantage: we don't have the word "nerd" in our language. Thank God.
I would give anything to go back to 1987 so that I could I deliver this essay to the 13 year old me... although to be honest, I don't think I would have read it all the way through. In fact, even if I had finished reading it, I probably would not have understood it. I was never really very perceptive when it came to this kind of thing...
And yet, despite the limited intelligence I enjoyed at the time, I had surprisingly few social acquaintances in my life who were not related to me by blood, namely Mother and Father.
In their case, I'm convinced, biological impulses and guilt were the only factors that prevented them from ostracizing me from family activities (such as Holidays, Christmas and annual birthday celebrations) even more than they did.
good stuff
Just hold on and ignore them.
1. The article is all over the place and it's unclear what you're trying to say throughout most of it. You don't explain the relationship between "schools as prisons" and "why nerds are unpopular" until the very end, and you don't address anything remotely relating to your "thesis" until the last section. I don't mean to suggest that articles are only good if they're written like high school term papers with a thesis at the end of the first paragraph, but this seemed really unfocused and was disorienting throughout most of the essay.
2. Your sections are way too short. I can understand making each paragraph convey the information that normal people convey in a single sentence. Most people do this when they write on the internet. But why make the sections separated by double line breaks so short? Each of these sections conveys roughly the information in a normal person's paragraph. In fact, just reading over this, it seems like the only reason you did this was to avoid having to adequately transitions between your paragraphs.
3. Your site design is obnoxious. Why does the text only take up 1/3 of my screen? Is it because we would see that each paragraph is less than a single line if it was spread out to any more?
4. A lot of your phrasing is clumsy and awkward. Sentences like "it's only temporary, and if you look, you can see beyond it even while you're still in it" are just unpleasant to have to wade through.
5. Your attempts to sound "deep" and "cultured" often fall on their face. You say, for example, "the only way to escape this empty life was to submit to it." This has NO MEANING at all. You don't explain why or how this is true. Being poetic is only fine as long as there is meaning behind your text. I would also recommend laying off the metaphors at bit... most of them seem forced and do not fit well with what you are trying to convey. Metaphors are only useful when they naturally flow with the text.
I'm 23 - two years out of college. I have promised myself (before reading this) not to forget how HORRIBLE high schoool was. No matter how harmless and stupid a group of popular kids look to an adult, I this it's important to remember how vicious and invincible they were when you were a teenager.
For now though, I will try not to breed and keep doing what I'm doing: nerding out all day at a kickass job that pays somewhat more than McDonalds.
This essay proves exactly what I'm trying to say in a speech I'm doing for my AP English class. It is awesome and says what I've been trying to put into words for years.
Oh yeah, life goes on...long after the thrill of living is gone!
(just passed up my 20 year HS reunion invite - no reason to go)
Paul
I have experience from the nerd population, and the preppy population (I'd probably be one of the folks sitting at the "C" lunch table, and maybe "B" at one point)...It is all just a free-for-all in middle school, where we all kill each other (sometimes literally) just for kicks...
At 11 or 12, smart kids tended to either be generally popular or have other groups of smart kids to hang out with, not that there was any kind of elitism involved, but unpopular kids tended to be either the violent or the actually disabled.
Moving to highschool, social groups were more defined, but with no real heirarchy. People overlapping more than one stereotype tend to be at least as popular as any "specialist".
Still, as a general rule, people with some mild mental abnormality tend to be unpopular but it's the people who pick on them that are really ostricised.
My sympathies y'all, sounds awful.
Thanks for the great article - I will reread it several times to digest it fully.
Thank you so much!
p.s. The goths at my particular school seemed to be the most popular of all the groups. Who knew?!
i know what u guys mean, i hate being a nerd, see i used to be popular but i realised wat a bitch i was, so i left their group, but while i was popular, i was still secretly smart, so when i left, the only thing i had left was my intelligence! lol, ever since that i have been called a nerd! but like jimbob, i have a load of popular friendz that want me to fight them, but i'm not that person anymore, it sux because i could turn back but i dont want to turn ma back on edu! but also i am a christian now, so i cant be popular unless i give up on my religion and education. all those people call me a nerd, and its driving me crazy, because i could always turn around and bash their head in and be popular again, but i cant. sigh. i am not even that smart, i can remember the last time i got an a!!!
A TIP FOR EVERYONE;
ok, so i'm still in year 8, but think of it this way, its only 5 years! then afterwards, u will be sucessfull, if u hold on to education.
at the moment thats the ONLY thing keeping me from dropping out.
i never hated nerds when i was popular.
i only hated people that hated me.
but my "friends" always did.
i know how u feel now.
but i'm not turning back.
and thankyou to the very generous person who took the time to write this very inspriational story.
good luck EVERYONE
xoxo Jayde
I tend to be the loud nerd. I've made lots of friends, so I consider myself cool, but I am not in the "popular" crowd.
- nick , aus
i could totally understand where the writer is coming from.
and i am no miss popular myself. But what i have come to realise is that the more popular someone is and the more that person seems to "fit in" the more insecure he/she really is. because when you get right down to it, "nerds" and unpopular people are individual. Thats why they're so hated. And the fact they are so individual means they are comfortable enough in their own skin to be their own person and not blindly conform. hang in there guys (:
If someone had offered me the choice between dumbing down to be popular vs. being smart and unpopular, I'm pretty sure I would've stuck with the smart unpopular person I was through high school.
I had friends (a lot of "Can I borrow your notes?" friends in particular) but high school was lonely, a horrible time, and I didn't see beyond it at the time. I sincerely thought the world was like that and didn't know differently until college. I was so glad to be in college, and then out of school into adulthood.
I'd always secretly suspected that the "heavy responsibilities" adults kept telling me about came with a corresponding set of freedoms that weren't mentioned. And they do.
Maybe it's because I went to an Australian school (though I don't think that made much difference), but I only ever had one teacher that didn't care about us.
The reasons for separation seem about right, although I'd like to point out that many nerds (and geeks) are autistic (or something similar), and thus don't even have much social skill anyway.
Later in high school, my nerd friends and I started a band and soon rose to be leaders of the 'freaks' as you call them. We managed to ruin most of the popularity pyramid since the nerds and freaks soon made up a big enough section of the school to not care about the jocks and cheerleaders. We had formed our own society out of necessity.
However, those formative years in 7th and 8th grade had a horrible negative affect on my view of other people. I was automatically on the defensive toward anyone who seemed very social, good looking, or popular. Even after college sometimes I would catch myself thinking like this, even when the person was a genuinely good human being.
When I see things like the Columbine or Virginia Tech shootings, I have to wonder if those kids just didn't realize that this popularity system is not the real world, I know I didn't realize it at the time, and if you add affects of medications or disturbed mental state to the day to day torment, you can see how such horrible things can come about.
The good thing is, us nerds, if we survive, usually come out on top. I think parents can make a big difference, my parents, although totally NOT nerds in their high school days, constantly reminded me, it didn't matter. That it would be over in a few years and that none of these kids should have any affect on my self-worth. They helped me a lot.
If I ever have a child, I will make sure he is NOT part of the A Table, even if he could be, because, as you said I would have never traded my intelligence, my originality and creativity to fit into this system.
all in all,i can say that you compiled the facts pretty well and did a good job in representing them...alienating them from what you personally feel.
The school was Weston Agricultural College in South Africa.
I'm sorry, I just can't see this - many nerds and geeks are autistic? What evidence is for this? Autism is a spectrum disorder, and part of what that means is that the displayed behaviors are not different from 'normal' people but just exacerbated.
Seriously, where did that statement even come from?
this has to be the most amazing thing ive ever read !
ur amazing for getting through all that but not letting it blind you but instead letting it make u more aware abt what REALLY goes on
i reallly admire u and today i had my high school orientation
im a nerd - kinda awkward but up until eighth grade ive had my friends , my own little niche but now im going to high tech high school without all my freinds and im TERRIFIED! all day ive felt bleh and then i searched nerds on google - pathetic . i no - and this came up ... it made my terrible crappy day so much better - well now that i hav told u mylife story that u prob could care less abt i just wanted to say i really admire u and this article rocked and will prob get me through the future worst years of my life - and when i come out i hope i can as optimistically as u write abt it and help others get through it if u could please send me some sorta reply back !!!!???? that would be soooo amazing ... -kay
Society really is twisted. I guess I've never been that socially aware, just wore the clothes I liked, in some unconscious bravery. I was very quiet, and once wore a Guns 'n Roses shirt, got heavy comments on it, though one girl said she liked it. I had to bear the comments and all but I guess I have been pretty immune for what others thought. Maybe I have been relatively immune to social pressure in general. Only since a few years have I been building up some social awareness, it felt like I was applying my intelligence to get knowledge of that. But being 27 now, as I said, and working since a few years I think a lot of these strange rules still (sadly) apply to the adult world. Makes me think the office itself could be a 'fake' world like you describe high-school. Not to discourage anyone who reads this, it is a lot different, you're let to be more independent/on your own but this pressure keeps existing. People I think retain this school attitude. They trust each other not on intelligence but on social performance. It hasn't been this way during the several places I've been working but especially so in one unfortunate occasion. To conclude, about, I carry this idea for longer now, that there are two types of people (although there is a gradient): introvert and extravert. I read someone on a forum saying this difference was like that between man and woman; well I think it is even more essential and a bigger difference than that. And by the way I am speaking from the Netherlands here, fyi. To conclude, really, I so deeply and easily see why your story is optimistic (and why most poeple won't see that).
I just have to say that one of the most annoying things, is when people who are incredibly popular ask you for help on their homework. It's just proof of their shallow little world. It's one thing if they're going to talk to you later on, but it's entirely different if they want your help to save their grade and then ignore you later. They're entire existence is responsible to their social status, and I can only wonder how the hell they're supposed to function later on if they've never learned anything of value.
Thanks for this, though, it's important to address. Popular people are generally just very skilled liars, whether they realize it or not. The greatest question is, how do you bring to their attention a fairly complicated subject, when, thanks to their popularity, they've never done any work harder than deciding what to wear? They've already wasted so many brain cells, how can they grasp the depth (or shallowness) of their facade?
I read through all of that thinking "I'm the coolest hybrid of freak and nerd ever"
so much of relates to me I even find the time to fit it in to this comment.
I'm in a catholic school so the "right" clothes don't apply but on civies day its like seeing the world with giant signs attached to people giving them a number on the scale of how popular they are. Its odd though how you said the most horrible years are when your age 11-14 and my first years (8-10 1/2) I didn't even seem to notice the social structure that was in place, and therefore didn't quantify/care about my own rank of popularity. But even now I just shrug it off like an annoying flying that seems to be constantly buzzing around your ear. Anywho I have to sign off because i have prison to go to tomorrow, Cheers.
Nerds are not smarter or better than the people who pick on them. Largely, they lack social skills. Social skills are largely independent of reasoning skills. Being a nerd has little to do with opting out because you want to cure cancer rather than play football. It is a result of not having self confidence.
Nerds often do better after they leave school. One reason is that many nerds need to get out of their home environment. Another is that they do have their skills more appreciated in the adult world, which can develop confidence. Another is just that some people develop social skills later than others.
But the funny thing about being a nerd, myself included, is an undying sense of pride. In grade school I remeber getting made fun of, it raged on into junior high, but in high school everything changed. And as long as your not the I know it all nerd(dork) then you'll be fine.
Personally I started as a nerd and ended up as the among the coolest kids in high school. My trick was when ever the popularity came I shrugged it off, like it was nothing. Because it is nothing, its a waste of time, I took up music, now I play guitar, piano and the violin, finds something youre good at and stick to it
nerd
My statistics of people that make fun of others most are very insecure and come from poverty class people, they make fun of people to feel whole.
I was in school to better myself i did go to school to be popular.
My advice is to people is forgive and forget, most of those people do not even remember you.
Thank you so much, your a great writer
lets just go get some natty ice and chill. we can totally bro out broskie. bro, bro bro bro...you know what calms me down? listening to dave matthews
How many girls at your school prefer Firefly and Stargate:SG-1 to The Notebook?
*gag* I am one of few girls I know who hates her mother's favorite movies...
The World is not made for us, and I'm glad this essay shows that.
Anyways, nice job (typing a very long paper)!
--Nub and Chelinka
why?
because its not about being popular its about understanding social dynamics,
and tbh its not complicated. Read about it perform it and go on with your goal to be
smart.
finally!!
im 13 and have always why im depressed all the time,even though it never looks like i am . . .:c
but alot of things make more sence now
i have to read this a few times though
:c
thanks! <3
-yoli
power to you.
I have to say that in your table map at high school, I'd probably be on an A table.
Not trying to boast. I don't enjoy it.
I spend about two hours per day on my physical appearance and I don't always say what I personally actually think.
I'm starting to get sick of all the bitching and everything that goes on in the popular groups. I was wondering earlier what it would be like to ditch everybody - the footballers and the popular girls - and just spend one lunch sitting and eating by myself. Or maybe find someone who's often made fun of who's sitting on their own and sit with them. Chat with them for a bit, see what they really are like as a person.
Oops, this is turning into an essay too, now.
Best wishes.
Kristina.
However, at least in my case, this just meant that I had three jobs, because I refused to give up any element of my life in favor of another- my family, my schoolwork and my friends were each vying for my attention, and it was hard to keep up. I rarely let them intermingle. My parents did not really come to my softball games or musicals. They knew about them, but I did not force them to mix. I did technical things, like programming, at home where my friends would not have to watch. They knew that I liked it, but I did not want to talk about anything too specific because they would not like it. It was part of getting good at pleasing people. It was not that they would actively put me down because I liked to program- it was that they did not particularly enjoy it themselves, and I was not going to bore them.
This also meant that I could only be at the 'B' table, however that was a conscious choice. I did not want to have to lie about who I was, as I did during my short stint with the 'A' table, but I was also not really a nerd because the 'B' table had enough social power to stave off any attacks.
However, I agree that it was not the best for my personal development. I got in the habit of avoiding detailed discussions about anything technical. One of the biggest shocks I received in going to a technical college was the freedom of math. It felt like porn- and I am not exaggerating. It was a topic about which I thought all the time, but it absolutely forbidden to talk about out loud, at least in my circle.
Finally, I just wanted to say that I think that the need for popularity is the single largest deterrent to women in technical fields. You have to give up one or the other or do the perilous double major- which is very difficult. And, despite my love of programming and math, I have to say that, in high school, if I had to choose one or the other, I would have chosen popularity, at least enough to say off of the 'D' table. Call me sexist, but I think that this is a more likely choice for women in general, and it is a horrible choice to have to make.
tapped out.
they always humour us in a weird way which is lol
plus you get to brag if you beat a nerd on a test (which is easy)
and they cant brag back
the reason they are unpopular is because being smart might mean you lack athletisism or interests of cool stuff and hey this is coming from a twelve year old
I totally support you on this. I address this comment mainly to the nerds who are suffering in high school right now. It really can be different, and among kids too, not only among adults.
Most of my knowledge of American high school comes from American movies (I'm not from the U.S.). When I was watching all these movies (my freshman year in college) I was very surprised: schools in the U.S. look nothing like the school I went to. There was even no such notion as "popularity" there. OK, I admit it, my school was a Math one, but anyway, I've got a brother who went to a more usual school, and he didn't show any signs of suffering from any sort of a popularity system. In my school it was like this: the smarter you are, the more respect you gain from your peers. I got better grades than most of my friends, and yet it didn't make me their enemy. At first I simply didn't understand, I didn't even believe that things can be upside down somewhere. I thought that those movies' authors were just kidding that way. Now I see that it is actually true. I'm saying this so that you know: it really can be different. And not only in special schools. When I was 12 I still went to a usual school. Then I went to a special math school. And I didn't want to go there, even though I love math. I didn't want to lose all my friends from the old school. And please note that I was the smartest and I was among the worst on the football field. I was friends with those best on the football field, they respected my skills at math, and I also respected those things they were good at (football, basketball etc.). I might say we even envied each other a bit, but only a bit.
You being nerds is in fact a great luck, and you will see it sooner or later. Please, please don't change! Stay smart, stay individual, stay different. Maybe I'm too young myself to give you advice about your lives (I'm 21), but take my word that now I'm happy I'm a nerd. The laws of "real life" are created by people like you, the most successful people are like you. Try not to hate your tormentors: your reward is coming, their times will end soon )
I always liked hanging out with the older kids and the cool pot smokers who didn't take themselves so seriously... I met all of them outside of school.
After High School I took a break and worked my job, smoked pot, tripped on LSD, drank beer, and intently wandered aimlessly for 7 years. Now that I have my self esteem and social anxiety issues solved, I can't wait to go back to college and get my business degree... and get laid. ;-)
P.S. Fuck the popular kids in highschool, it doesn't work that way in real life. I am so much cooler than anybody I know now. Also you'll realize that what is popular is usually stupid as hell. I mean, come on, have you seen MTV in the daytime lately? That's what the popular kids watch. Do you really want to be them? You don't have to be popular to get girls or have fun. You can have it all with those wonderful brains of yours.
And teachers definitely do NOT make the system better. Parents either. One of my science teachers gave me a 'F' on a project because others in my group slacked off. We were the group of outcasts. He gave the group next to us, a group of pretty blondes with short-shorts, a 90, 'B'. I asked if there was anything I could do to bring it up, given that I had done my part of the assignment... he said, "No." The girls besides us complained to him once and he gave them an 'A' instead. Bullshit much? Did he give them that grade because they looked and were in the popularity circle?
I wish that teens were not pushed into a popularity hierarchy, but that is indeed what happens. If only change would occur, but when would that happen in a world so quickly degrading?
One of the main reasons teachers and adults (who you so wonderfully grouped together as one group, in my opinion one of the flaws in this article) seem to egsasurbate the situation is because they throw around clichéd lines, I'm sure you've all heard the type of thing i mean, without really thinking deply into them, and as a young person, you don't delve on these sayings, thing's like "be yourself" have only recently begun to make sense to me, valuable morals are cramped into a few sayings that are commonly thrown round, alot of the time by people who haven't thought about them themselves.
Like many problems, the situation of unpopular smart people or nerds, is caused by common ignorance. The reason this ignorance is existant almost everywhere you go is simply because there is no drive or need to not be.
Also, I feel comprehensive schools can never cater to everyones needs or skills, the type of intelligence they can measure is very narrow, people cannot always give the best of themselves in writing, which is how schools test pupils in almost all cases. It takes a different type of intelligence for example to be win an election, it is not always the party with the cleverest leader or the best manifesto who wins, it is simply the party which the public likes best for whatever reason, much like thesituation you've described in schools.
I apologise for the way this has been written, I havent had a chance to read it back, and my family call me for dinner, and i am one of those who cannot articulate themselves very well in writing.
Because the government schools were DESIGNED to be free precisely from this "pressure."
Because the parents' money is TAKEN from them, mostly in property taxes, and then appropriated by the government to run the schools, the parents have NO power. The schools are socialist. The market has been disabled in the case of government schools.
The government schools were imported by American socialists from socialist Prussia. They were always INTENDED to undermine the bond between parent and child, and to undermine the society that had formed naturally in America.
The most powerful, malign, and longest-running HOAX in U.S. history is "the public school." It is a hoax because this massive socialist enterprise, which runs counter to everything truly American, has managed by more than a century of propaganda, to convince the majority of Americans that "without our public schools, our country will fracture, breaking down into warring factions."
Schools, public and private, are NOT designed to meet the needs of children.
PARENTS are designed to meet the needs of children. Homeschooling--TRUE homeschooling, not imitation at home of what goes on in schools--is based on NATURE. With homeschooling, male children have both a male and female teacher and a male role model for father, husband, complete male human being, female children have a female and male teacher, and a female role model for mother, wife, and complete female human being.
Homeschooling is an unfortunate name for a Fully Functioning Family. It's a negative word, like "horseless carriage." It's "school"--but at school. A Fully Functioning Family should not define itself by the negative fact that the children are "not in school."
The NATURALNESS of a fully functioning family is what the ideologue socialist gender-benders HATE. They hate life, they hate nature, they hate marriage, they hate the family. And 90% of American children are spending six to eight hours a day inside this statist, socialist, unnatural system.
I am sorry for my bad english.
it's sad how the minority (nerds) is seen so badly from the majority (the more popular kids).
if you ask me, I think that having intelligence or doing some productive thing, should get much more credit than wearing cool sunglasses or talking dirty like a bastard. the last things don't make you a significant person, sorry. at least not for someone with an average IQ or more.
but people, especially teenagers, are not interested in knowledge or doing something good, but in coolness and how to attract bitches. yes, it's true.
well, I'm 23, so I have understood these things now, at least. some other people don't (or don't want to).
what a read it's just so true
How do you know you are exactly the third most popular kid in school and the second smartest? Did you and your friends take a poll or something? How very nerdy/popular of you.
And where are you getting your rankings? How do you know that you're the "third most popular kid" in school and "the second smartest"? I assume that some sort of popularity contest could be used to determine popularity rankings, but how are you quantifying "smartness"? Do you have the highest GPA? The highest IQ? Tested highest in your class on the PSAT? What's the standard and what's the curve?
Which all adds up to making me question your veracity in saying that you're the second "smartest" kid in your school, or makes me wonder how "smart" the kids at your school can actually be.
NERD - OFF!!!
my friends and i sit in the 'a' section even though we probably belong in the 'b' or 'c' haha
but we do have lots of friends in the cafe so its ok
I think the part about suicide is very true. I once made a list brainstorming methods of suicide and listing the advantages and disadvantage, after researching for a few months. After I decided which method to use, I decided I was too cowardly to kill myself. Well, I realized that even though my life is screwed up, I still can make a difference to this world someday. Hopefully.
You wanna be such a show off!!
It's weird, comparing me now and me then, I am much less nerdy and I have many more friends. I've all but discarded my nerd label that I was addressed by for three years, over the course of one year. The best part is, I retained my inelegance. I'm no longer a nerd, but I'm no were near popular, or at least I don't think. I've moved from the D table to the C table, I may actually be closer to a B then a C.
However, like I said I retained my inelegance. As you said the nerds have to find it within themselves, I know I did. And if these "nerds" try hard enough, they can have both: Smarts, and popularity. Your popularity may not be at the top of the social ladder, but it is a huge step above what you had before.
Again, an excellent read.
However, as soon as I got to High School, popularity became irrelevent because there were so many social groups that they all had about the same amount of people. It was only the Tam-O-Kids (school slang for rich kids derived from the gated community where they lived) that controlled the ASB and were considered 'popular' by the common definition.
My other partial objection in here is regarding academics, at least in science fields, right now I am just finishing up my degree in biochemistry and genetics and I am about to go to Oxford to do research for a brief time before I (hopefully) enter a graduate program to continue my studies in biochemistry. I've done a good deal of research in genetics and neurology for an undergraduate student, have authored a publication and been to a conference... the point of all of this isn't to say how well I've done, but more that I am pretty well networked among biochemists, geneticists and a few other science academics... and while being nerdy may be exaggerated (I know this well, after making and telling a few too many jokes about my research)... but, at least among professors it seems like charisma is becoming ever increasingly important. You're expected to be nerdy and weird, but also have a somehow magnetic personality... it's sort of an interesting dichotomy.
What boosted my confidence is when my father bought me my first vehicle, if it were not for that i would be down, also working with my big sister helped me see that light i gotta let the bad people from my past go.
I have seen some of classmates from school the majority of them do not have cars, if they have a car it is almost twenty years old. Having material things helps self esteem to a certain extent, when you are doing good you do not have the time to worry about people that are not helping you achieve your goals i put those school years behind me. I realize that was in school to get a education, not to be cool.
sometimes i regret it.
One is that we aren't hot.
The other is that nerds don't need to be "fixed". I can walk and talk and dress myself and clean up the bathroom, flush the toilet, make dinner, find and keep a job. I don't spend the entire day in my underpants playing Xbox eating Triscuits and Wispride. I don't need to find a Mom to take care of me. I can't be molded and shaped and turned into something that she can look at and say, "what a good person am I, that I turned this uncultured brute into a human being."
it might sound horribly insensitive and believe me i do feel bad for those that died, but for me the best part of my school life was after columbine i was a nice quiet kid who took a lot of shit and after that people were a bit afraid to push me because of what might happen.
also this is damn insightful, i want to make every kid read it once a year from age 10 to 15 (yeah i know hard enough getting the average kid to read a paragraph let alone this whole thing) it might give some youth like i was hope (and trust me i felt pretty hopeless at times. having my throat cut open and bike vandalized were 2 of the more minor things that happened) and show bully's a reason to be nice to nerds.
I can honestly say that after 10 years of constant harrassment and emotional and physical torment (combined with extreme religious views hoisted on me by parents that it was the Christian thing to never fight back) that the massacre at Columbine made the assholes at least afraid to try to break me, and it definitely made life bareable after I had gone through so much.
BECAUSE you're not popular, it forces you into developing some kind of other strength, like "intelligence".
Everyone need something to pride themselves of. If you cannot pride yourself of being good looking, funny or social, then one option is to adapt a "nerd" image.
Also...... I disagree with the notion that nerds are REALLY intelligent. They are just more reflected in certain areas, in terms of having spent more time than other people pondering about certain things.
I don't think most nerds have any genetic advantages that them making them more intelligent. I think it's mostly a self taught thing... achieved by focusing wery strongly on certain subjects.
If you live in California, there is a test called the CHSPE that you can take after your sophomore year in high school. If you pass you can go to college two years early. You will probably end up going to community college, but community college is much better IMO. Generally you can transfer to a four-year university from there.
If you live in California, there is a test called the CHSPE that you can take after your sophomore year in high school. If you pass you can go to college two years early. You will probably end up going to community college, but community college is still much better than high school. Generally you can transfer to a four-year university from there.
When I was in high school I was never really picked on but I it was a pretty miserable experience. I think I sort of kept to myself and dressed in a way that conformed enough so that nobody noticed me. I used to try to take so many extra classes that I didn't have a lunch period. I think I was only in the cafeteria for a full lunch period once in all four years. The semester I had a lunch my art teacher let me stay in his room and paint.
Now that I'm teaching I sometimes wonder how I can actually make the experience better for my kids. It is hard though, I get so overwhelmed with trying to plan decent lessons and keep the class running smoothly that it is tough to really know what is going on in their world. I have to admit I'm pretty far removed from understanding their social lives, but I guess I was removed from the social scene when I was a student too. I think it is even tougher because the students I teach are from a very different socio-economic background than I grew up in and I don't always understand their culture.
I really do feel like a prison warden sometimes. I have to be really strict or they try to walk all over me, especially since I'm pretty young. I’m 26 but the first day they thought I was a student. It is a battle just to get them to put any effort into their class work. It may be compounded by the fact that some of my colleagues let them get away with not doing much. The truth is most of them don't care about what I'm teaching. Of the 150 students I taught this year, I could count on my fingers the kids with a sincere interest in art. I'm hoping some will appreciate it when they get older but to be realistic, I know they don't need to know about impressionism and cubism to succeed in their future. I think as a teacher I need to work on being more understanding, but taking on all their issues and the social system is a lot of work. This year at my school there were seven fights in one day. I had a kid put his fist through a glass window because someone teased him – it was the last straw on the anniversary of his mother’s death. It is a really tough world and it is hard to know how to help.
The comments about Columbine were really sad. I can remember at my school we had a bomb threat a few days after it and everyone started talking about this one girl because she wore a trench coat to school. I have to say though, however much you may be picked on, it is really disturbing to hear anyone taking about reaping benefits from such a tragedy.
High school is rough for everyone. I started letting one girl stay in my room at lunch this year because she said she didn't have anyone to sit with. By the end of the year I had about five kids in there that I couldn't get rid of them. Sometimes I don't know what advice to even give them, except that they will get through it.
I think you're absolutely right, even though I don't live in America's conditions in the ins and outs of coolness, but I know what it feels like to be a nerd. You feel like crying, but then again, I had an outer shell so no one really cared about me. Because, you see, I moved schools. My first school, I was really popular everyone was really nice to me. The next school, we had four classes, 2 were the normal ones, the other two were the really smart people, they came from different schools across New South Wales. Only 160 people got in. I was assuming everyone would be nice to me and I would be nice to them, but I seemed wrong, some people there liked swearing, it seemed that swearing was 'cool'. I didn't like it so I kept away from that group. And that's the end of the story. But I have some advice to people who are picked on with friends. Like, you're just crossing the grounds of your school and these random people come and start teasing you and your friends. It's unfair because your outnumbered. 8 to 3. Join your group together with another group and then it's a lot harder for people to pick on you if you have back up. But how do you join? I know this going to sound like lying but it works. Agree with all the people. You can sometimes disagree if it's something small but agree big-time. Then once you've known all about the other person, bring everyone who likes the same thing (such as if some people like cats) to the movies or something about the cat. Now that you have some other friends, rejoin your original group, and the people who like cats will follow you and the people who like the people that like cats will have to join you to. Actually, don't follow this piece of advice, it only sometimes works.
after reading both I think nerds in scholl can be defined as a kind of unconscious rebels against the meaningless show business culture that pervades our culture. cheers from brazil.
Maybe - if I remember - I can come back and read the whole thing. I probably won't, I'll probably forget it forver, but I'll never forgret the time it was neat to remember...that one time right now.
Thank you! Always don't write!
Unless you're old or dead, in which case I missed you by only a decade.
Albert Einstein
Thanks for writting it, quite enjoyable!
If you enjoy doing well at school, keep it up. Don't worry about being popular, it's mostly a confidence thing rather than how well you're doing at school. The less you care about what people think of you, the more popular you will become.
I too, am a nerd, very smart in many aspects especially computers, and although im 'higher-up' than most nerds as I have not alot but enough confidence to get through the day, this essay really helped me understand that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that school is nothing more than a holding place for the "important" people to do their work.
Schools tell you stuff and you repeat it back to them, don't be fooled, this is not intelligence.
Homer: "So then we played Dungeons and Dragons for 5 hours... then my character was slain by an elf."
Bart: "Listen to yourself man, you're hanging with nerds."
Homer: "What? You take that back! Nerds are my worst enemy!"
Marge: "Homer those kids are nice people but they're obviously nerds."
In that same episode, Homer decides to give the nerds at his college a hard time so he makes fun of them in front of a jock (who is actually a nerd). And that's just one show.
So yeah, much as I hate the public school system and the fact that a lot of your theories are sound, with pop culture making fun of nerds and even making shows that are made to make fun of people for being smart (Family Matters anyone?), then it's no wonder nerds are unpopular.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=20868191465
It's about time that people starting realising (or admitting) that school is effectively worthless as real-life preparation. I would hazard that I've now forgotten around 50% of the education I had, and I'm only a year removed from year 13 (17-18 years old). It's undoubtedly because it will not help me in the slightest when I'm older to be able to, for example, bisect an acute angle using a compass, unless I go into mathematics - and even then I can't think of a useful application of it.
Jammer has it spot on - temporarily being able to recall facts about historical wars and recent literature and the photosynthesis process is not intelligence. Intelligence is about grasping concepts and forming ideas and opinions, not using memory. In the real world, it is usually better to be skilled at a job rather than intelligent - just look at footballers or movie stars - but intelligence can help you adapt, it just can't really be taught.
One thing I think this essay missed that seemed a bit obvious to me is why the real, grown up world is more hospitable to nerds. Surely it is because, in the real world, nerds can be appreciated because of the skills they bring. In schools, other kids couldn't care less about a nerd being able to program software, but to a software company, it's vital. A nerd suddenly becomes a valuable commodity when you have a technological need or problem, but high school kids don't need to think that way. A typical high school kid is more in reverance of a guy who can hit a ball well than a guy who can do advanced calculus.
Shame, really, that school can't at least teach kids perspective.
bob.
a.
Also, what on earth is a kidult?
Thanks.
Thanks you for your words, i wont forget them.
Great essey.
This essay makes no sense on so many levels it's scary. You're writing about what other disgruntled nerds want to hear. Stating blatantly (the opposite of tactfully) that nerds are superior without exception to all other high school stereotypes because they didn't like the way people treated them in school is silly.
You're just an angry child yourself because now that you have the ears of those within your community you cast bad light on those you don't like based on the fact that people like - but not neccessarily them - didn't like you when you were young.
Still, I am considered a genius, along with a lot of other kids who are extremely smart. This essay seems like it's purpose is to encourage stereo-types, which is totally against why it was even made, as you stated.
"Popular" kids are the ones who are a lot of fun, no matter how they look, if their athletic, if their smart, etc. If you are boring, or anti-social... well, you claim nerds are smart. That they can beat the "system", but choose not to. If you act like you absolutely despise everyone and everything around you, or if you dont even want to have friends or be outgoing, yes, I think it's obvious you'll become an easy target to your peers. They will say anything about you, for reasons even you stated.
My point is, if you claim all of that is true, then why the hell are you saying it over again? We know this, we know what we're doing to our "world". (Even though we really dont).
And on how school is worthless? Screw you, if you really were on of the smart kids who are fueled by nothing else other than increasing human understanding, you would know that school is what taught you to read, write, and handle social situations which you obviously still haven't learned how to. While sure, you'll forget half of it, it increases your academic/athletic/social skills in general, which is very helpful later on in life.
If you want to create things, then you know that you'll be in school all your life, learning how to create w/e you want to create. In case you haven't noticed, every generation has taken the ideas of it's former, and made them better. Advancing human technology, evolution, w/e you want to call it, those adults need us, and they EXPECT us to create a world that only the good can envision.
Summed up, you have no idea how to live, man. :)
But on the bright side, you HAVE inspired me. >:)
I believe this essay will be helpful to my son - who is surprise, surprise - away at computer camp. Geek heaven. But he has lots of other interests, too - and a ton of friends! Especially now that he has left public school.
BTW, Miss genius, Kim, you may wish to note the differing spellings of "their" and "they're" and their correct usages. If you feel free to speak so disparagingly of another it may be wise to be quite unassailable in your own perfection first.
At any rate, thank you for your unique and well thought out words. They moved me towards compassion and clarity. And I learned a few cool new vocabulary words as well.
Aw, Im so sorry I mispelled a few words which even a brain like yours can point out.
But Im guessing, since that's all you could point out...
that you failed to realize what points my view made.
As will plenty of others, unfortunately, who tend to believe what comes more readily to mind.
I am sorry I was so flip when responding to you. I felt disturbed by some of your comments as they seemed to illustrate just what he was talking aobut. Some kids don't choose to be anti-social or to be "not out-going". they don't know how to do it well! They enjoy thinking about difficult topics or reading literature or doing math more than chatting about the latest movie, etc, etc.
It would be a great joy if kids could accept all the differing types of people who are out there. Everyone has worth and if you look deep enough you may be surprised how interesting they are as well as how much to offer they have.
As you get older, making the world a better place becomes a real and urgent priority. Being kind even when it is easier and more convenient not to be can be an ideal worth striving for.
YOu suggest that school increases your ability to socialize, use academic skills and become more athletic. Having been out of school for many years I can tell you that my academic, social AND athletic skills increased greatly after school was over and I got to discover what I really enjoyed and was good at.
Again, I am sorry if I trivialized what you had to say. Its just that speaking aobut a "world the good can envision" in one sentence and then flippantly telling someone "they don't know how to live" seems a bit confusing.
Maybe his and your definitions of living well are very different. For that better world to come aobut we all need to envision that that is OK. (The being different that is)
The bureaucratic options could be explored, but they are remarkably bleak. The system is maximally efficient for a modern industrialized society. We could provide two tracks, so that the brightest ones aren't wasting their time. This is basically what is happening already, and it is a very very good idea. We get the short term payoff of the prison-system, and the long term payoff of still educating the best and brightest.
But at rock bottom, this is just an improved compromise. I have continued to treat it as an economic problem. It is a moral problem too.
This is my take on it. Modern history has seen humans insulate themselves from nature, create their own tools, and set their own terms, and things are good. Things are so good that there are few real points of contact with nature left for most of us. But breeding remains as that one deep point of contact. Raising children is kind of a dirty business where ethical compromises are made for the greater good. Before civilization, where nature ruled, everything was a rather dirty business.
We could instead be amazed at our ingenuity that we have found a viable way to have a specialized industrialized society and still raise sufficient children (not an easy accomplishment, look at Europe).
One thing I do, tremendously agree on, and something I realized in the last year of my high school education - that is, last year - is that, yes. We are bored because our work has no effect, and no value. I haven't got a job yet - I'm still recovering. In my case, this means actually trying to gather enough energy, strength and above all confidence to discard the defensive mechanisms I developed through childhood and school. It isn't all from my time at school, but I know that a significant part of it is.
Good luck trying to convince people to change things, though. Oh, this leads to another thing I wanted to point out. The American false-world of school systems? It's fed into the American false-world of adult life as well. Anyone who's paying attention will have noticed that American and Americanized (the influence goes far, far beyond borders, believe me - I'm actually Canadian. It works the same way there. I recently moved to Australia. It works the same way here) politics fast becomes a popularity contest. Why? Because adults are not immune. And, the kids who devoted their lives to being the top of the popularity contest at school continue to use the "skills" they learned outside of it - and become the top of the pack, or one of various packs, from the local to the national or international level, outside, not by making intelligent choices or even necessarily being competent - but by making themselves popular with the group.
I'll quit ranting now. I'd love a response, though. If anyone wants to contact me and chat more about this, my email is serpentstare@gmail.com.
I really love the freedom that homeschooling gives to be able to "work for yourself" without the pressures of a useless society. It doesn't squelch social skills. Quite the opposite. Homeschooling allows students more time to interact with real people in the real world.
Anyway, thank you for the very interesting read!
I tell everyone this because just because you are picked on in elementary school or high school doesn't mean that is what you have to be today. You have more power than you realize. A high school teacher once told me something profound. He told our class "for those of you who bully the "nerds" in class, have your fun for a few years because eventually when you have put on fifty pounds and are no longer cool. They will have the hot wives and you will be working for them, wishing you were them."
I use Facebook, and I have to say it's incredibly depressing at times. Just because I don't have things like "getting drunk at bars", "reality TV", "cars" or sports listed down as interests, it makes it very difficult to make friends. There's always a kind of cut-off point reached during any period of interaction with another person.
Being without friends I can do with. Having to give up the girls as well, that I can't deal with.
You really put into words whats been on the tip of my tongue about the world around me for a long time.
I'm 40 years old, and it's still the same. The real world is even crueler.
They are isolated, so they can't defend themselves, nobody taking their side.
Beware, young nerds, it won't get better ! You better unite, nerds of all countries, or the popular will ban you from the playground, that is, the real world.
I do not live in the USA, nor do I go to school there.
Yes, I am still in high school(the question must have been in your mind, because of my previous sentence).
But I fully agree with this thesis. I am dutch, and high schools are a bit different here.
While I am neither a 'nerd' nor a 'freak', I think myself as a mix of both or something.
I am a outcast by choice, well I did, but somehow I picked up a group of friends who were all upperclassmen, while I am not.
We here do not really have 'these groups'. For one, sports, are not that big of a specialization here. Nor is bodybuilding.
You have your own kinds of groups, these are not exclusively nerds, freaks or such. Even though its more likely that they'l group toghetter(common interests)..
Sadly due to lack of time I have to cut this response short.
I'l continue this response another time.
(Points to self) Nerd.
I agreed with a lot of what you said.
Simply Brilliant..
Your pictures look much like my own high school year book. Strange world we lived in (and strange world our children live in!). I've absconded with my own children. I'm homeschooling them in the hopes that they'll grow up to understand more about the world than whether they're a "nerd," "jock," "stoner," or "preppy." Oh, yeah I'm out of date on my terminology - I don't even know what these groups are the kids are talking about in previous comments
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im here for your enlightenmen;
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
I think that you should find out something about the author of this article.
By most criteria, he would not be considered a "narrow minded failure". Try to "just fucking google" "Paul Graham".
Kind Regards
Dude your a complete idiot, shut up and move on. if you didnt like it, dont bother it. and swearing a lot only shows that you have a very limited vocabulary
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
Nerds are unpopular because there is a considerable about of alienation caused by being smart... some hostility, some misunderstanding
When I understand something.. it is almost patronizing to actually HAVE to describe why it makes sense to another person, being smart is.. albeit lacking in logic... insulting
Often times, for me anyway, I feel like I'm not intelligent, everyone else is dumb, and it is very frustrating to understand something, to be able to pull stuff out of my head at the speed of light, and to see others confused at some of the simplest task and problem. Some people end up forming frustrations and... not understanding the extent of which one doesn't understand, can actually patronize, and insult another for acting as if they are "that slow". Standing in a room full of r-tards is very frustrating, and a true test of patience for both groups, the nerds and the norms, it may not be "jealousy", or "envy", quite frankly its hostility and it is anger from the illogical emotional misunderstanding.
I'm in 9th grade....and I'd say I'm somewhere in the middle of the social ladder...I mean, I'm not popular because I'm not known by everyone....if I was..I'm pretty sure I would be..in our school, being 'famous' is synonymous with being popular.....and I'm not known because I don't want to be...'cause that would involve wearing truckloads of makeup everyday and wearing skirts about 1/2 a foot in length ( a little exaggeration maybe, but not much)This doesn't mean everyone who's popular is an airhead...I have a couple of friends who're really well known..and they're good people who're also smart.....I wouldn't mind being like them, except I'm not sure HOW.....because the social positions have been established already, and changing that is not the easiest thing in the world.
I have a feeling that this article is just special pleading by someone who was a traumatised outcast in high school and has made his way in the "real world" by taking the opportunity of graduation to avoid it entirely and permanently.
I figure it is only a matter of time before his C average leads him to further poor decisions. I was probably one of his most capable employees; unfortunately at his learning rate it will take him 3 times longer to realize it :)
High school is very similar to real life. Believe it or not, popularity is still a deciding factor in the workplace. But that person had to be something or do something to get to that point.
To call the high school quarterback dumb and ignorant is ignorant itself. Stereotypes do not always rule the world as most people think. Brooding over failures in high school will get you nowhere Jen. Maybe you should be more personable and less stuck-up about your "impressive intelligence".
Your essay is the first essay ive read thats been written by a person whos graduated highschool and college and manages to sound decent to a highschooler. Most essays ive read usually tries to belittle youth culture, or try to explain one thing but end up saying something completely bogus.
You forgot to mention though that there are ways that nerds can actually beat the system and still manage to be smart, be praised for it, and yet still manage to be one of the most popular kids. I know its seems kind of like a movie thing but it does happen. Usually these "super teens" don't usually share how they did it because they don't others to do what they did so the original popular kids wouldn't start thinking "hey too many nerds are becoming popular, we gotta stop this."
In my school, the gangsters and b-boys are at the top of the popularity game. Well growing up i was a nerd, from grade 1-9. But then i started hanging out with an old friend of mine who happened to be transfering to my school and yes he was a gangster. Once everyone saw me with him they were like : "Yo man you chill with that guy? say word, didnt know you got deadly connections like that" and i was instantly popular yet still managed to pull a 94 average in gr10. There are other ways that nerds can do a popular leap but in our culture, you're not supposed to tell adults anymore than they need to know and you don't tell them anything that they can use to ruin your society.
I think that instead of sitting at the unpopular and popular tables,people should sit together for there hobbies.
One that I had considerable enjoyment reading.
I can definitely relate to the author and the trials faced in high school.
I think I faced even more scrutiny than normal as I was a dancer and chorister as well as an academic who just happened to be good at sports.
I was a bit of an enigma and lot of Aussie males didn't know how to take me.
I totally agree that hormones have become the new excuse for inexcusable behaviour. Still, the education of morals and values must fall on the parents. The schooling system is to teach us many things, but if we can't learn the fundamentals of life and relationships from our parents, then schools have very little to work with.
Thank you once again for a very good read.
P.S. If anyone else from MACAT posts a comment, put MACAT Rules! (cause it does and you know it!)
Having said that, I did read the entire essay, and I do agree wholeheartedly with the conclusions about the sort of society modern Western secondary schools create within them. I worry about my daughter, who is a bit like me, but at present (at age 9) she is popular and respected by her peers. If only that situation survives...
You've just solved something that I have been pondering for the last couple of years. I'm british and well ,a nerd but was actually pretty well liked at my secondary school, but I just couldn't figure out why people like me were so hated in american schools.
If its OK I'd like to suggest this to some friends of mine, they may enjoy reading this and pass it on
remember my name for it will be important some day
In the beginning girls may attract ONLY by badboy/athelte/look type... but as you age more and more... guys who only have such feature can't do shit when they are dum as fuk, unless they have those features and have the intelligence. Girls then realize that they need to start eyeing on guys that are intelligent to survive or live easier in this world... so be patients and keep on studying hard and you'll get the girls and the popularity...
In a sense i disagree with this essay, because there are guys that have it all...
Looks/Intelligence/Popularity/sporty
TRUE STORY =)
i agree with you all the way
anyone suffering from sadness should stand strong
i wish i had read this when i was 13 it would have made things alot easyer
Luke Weston
They're a turn on in a way other girls just can't grasp.
are you a genius??? why hasn't this made sense until now? kudos.
Hopefully next year (college) will be better =)
you should be proud of yourself!!
even though im smart i am popular because i am entertaining to the really popular kids.
email me at perlariojas@yahoo.com
Mad Kudos
WHAT SORT OF LOSERS WRITE ABOUT BEING A NERD AT SCHOOL??
"OOH POOR ME" GET OVER IT! ITS NOT THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN!
GET OUT OF THE PAST!
-
A High school girl who has taken it upon herself to save her f fellow prison mates.
most schools suck and the older I get the reasons for that crystalize and manifest themselves more and more.
what bothers me is that, when you are young and still in school, adults (teachers in particular but parents too) degrade your opinion and take away your confidence about your thoughts. they make you believe that things go wrong because there is something wrong with you. the sheer reality, however, is that there's something wrong with all those joining this pointless game in school (which are an estimated 90%), not with those who don't.
Today, people listen to me because I am older (24) but in fact my mind hasn't changed much and is still the same as ten years ago.
I hope that schools and society in general will realize this situation and change. Otherwise I will refuse to have children on my own and someday die laughing because this sick system will finally eat itself.
One important part is missing though, what steps did you decide to take to help your children prevent the same misery?
Michael
In most states high school kids are able to take a large proportion of their classes at community colleges. This is what I ended up doing, and I don't know how I would have made it through otherwise. It instantly helped me to see that high school was a farce, and all I had to do was wait it out.
Another great idea is international travel. This doesn't have to mean a huge expense; many exchange and volunteer programs are relatively cheap, and teens could easily pay their own way through these programs with earnings from a part time job. International travel, particularly to developing nations, will help you to broaden your perspective like nothing else, and if you participate in an exchange, could buy you up to a year outside of high school while still earning you credits for it.
Also, take every single school-sanctioned opportunity you can to get off campus. Spanish club field trip to a Cinco de Mayo Festival? GO! Does it matter that you have no interest in learning Spanish? No way! If it means getting off campus, do it. Period.
Finally, I must suggest you learn about and exploit your school's excused absence policy. At my school, we got 10 absences a year for free, plus extras for things like dentist's appontments, church services (Not religous? Go anyways! Temple, mass, mosque-- learn something new and give all holiday services a try.), etc. This meant I could be absent from school around 15-20 days a year with absolutely no penalty whatsoever, assuming I did the homework for the next day. Band together with your fellow nerds to let each other know about homework and missed assignments, and take turns doing something more interesting with your time.
Final piece of advice: join the school paper. This is a classic nerd enclave, and typically give offers enough freedom that you can write something at least moderately interesting. Plus, journalism teachers are often nerds themselves, and are usually willing to open their classroom as a nerd sanctuary during lunch.
If you take all these pieces of advice, you'll minimize your exposure to the poisonous high school environment, while simultaneously doing the very things colleges like to see (i.e., getting involved with a wide range of outside activities, making you appear to be a more balanced, well-rounded individual). This will help you to get OUT of the boring, sterile suburbia you grew up in, and then your life can REALLY begin.
P.S at our school these older kids made this book school yard rules and its all about who is a bully and who is a nerd and nerds and bully's and rich N famous people are ON the top the rest is like normal unpopular kids
I think this phenomenon is more common in the anglophone world. An almost universal observation by people from Latin America about the US is how isolated life is outside of work or school.
I'm a little worried how I can do the same with my kids. My childhood was an outright oddity: my parents ran a small farm and an electronics repair shop. My wife and I could work from home if we pushed for it, but it's not obvious what help a 12-year-old would be to a programmer or a painter/writer. I guess we'll have to find out.
As someone said, you kinda missed out on the steps/solutions. On the other hand, after reading the article the best advice could be to simply understand. Not much can be done on something that's come by default and no-one wants to do anything abt it (trust me, if you talked about a topic like this where i studied it would be tantamount to what happened to Jesus when he lashed at the pharisees - that much i know).
I was "the geek" who did nothing much other than 1's and 0's in school. Now i have a good job at the age of 23. Most of the rest in my set either married immediately after (for the ladies - nothing against that, but you get my drift), or are now in trial and error mode. And that costs time.
Once again, thank you so much.
In my case, I'm a mix of cultures: I'm a nerd, because I love history, politics and physics (and want to be a physic), I'm half metalhead, as I have long hair and listen mostly to metal (although I also have the nerdy taste for jazz and some classical music...), and I'm a bit freak, because although I don't belong to their group, I have a brain, I don't study, I have good grades and a weird mind and personality; and so people look at me as an interesting odity and don't piss me off that much (popular girls find it funny when I say pneumoultramicroscopicsilicovulcanoconiosis in japanese...). Anyway, I can say I've been bullied a lot in the 8th grade (we had a retarded kid in the 7th and a geek in the 9th...), and in high school, as I started practicing martial arts and have an higher confidance, they now don't go after me. but as I am in a mix of groups and I don't specially belong to any of them (have nerd friends, metalhead friends, skater friends, etc... although none of them are close friends...), I am normally a lonely guy, sometimes depressed, most of times feeling as an alien traped in a boring, senseless mini-world, just in school to absorve an amount of boring trivia because I have to (I have much higher grades than the ones I need to enter college). And so my life at this point is just a limbo, where I wait for real, interesting life.
Concluding, what you say applies for most of the modern western world. American case just seems like the ultimate, plastic, stereotiped and clearly bordered version of high school social organization. I just hope that in the future, educational system becomes a comprehensive formation for young people, instead of just a stereotyped factory of labor.
It really was enlightening. Something tells me that this should be some sort of required reading for teens, or at the very least, we could have been introduced to this concept earlier... It's amazing to find an article about a matter that few people really talks about, and even if they do, they rarely go into an analysis as deep as this.
In school, I was mostly a floater, which, if I understand correctly, is a word that meant I could interact with a lot of people and wasn't particularly confined to a specific group-this was what I was. Of course, though there are advantages and disadvantages to this, it was particularly interesting that I was able to see school life from the perspectives of different people...
I agree with the idea that perhaps, the reason why many teenagers are frustrated or unsatisfied these days is that we rarely feel that we have a purpose, we are mostly idle and stuck in between not being able to enter the adult world... It's rather saddening to be constantly surrounded by the trivialities and unmeaningful things that occur in our circumstances. Hmmm. A lot remains to be said...
Again, I would like to thank you for writing this and for letting us read it. It is very much quite interesting and I loved it. ^_^
wOoT!!!
I also disagree with your views on school. You see it as a "prison" in which to drop off your children so adults can get things done. The skills and work habits developed in school remain for a lifetime, and are necessary for whatever profession they choose to pursue. Being around other people their own age, it also encourages development of social skills and proper behavior in public. Children begin exploring from an early age the different courses offered in school, thus determining their area of interest(s). Therefore, they can choose which career they have according to their strengths and likes.
Though perhaps my judgment is clouded, as I am in high school presently.
It's been my experience that it takes about 10 years or so to undo the damage done by the "skills" and "habits" acquired in a traditional high school environment. It is only after this "unlearning" period that a person's erratic behavior can settle down into something repeatable, useful, and productive
Help me improve my life.
Even worse, I go on Newgrounds.
What can you do to help me?
You pretty much hit the nail on the head. School IS an artificial environment and unfortunately kids are stuck with it for too much of their youth. These are the years they should be exploring, creating, inventing. Their minds are fresh and untainted by society. School locks them down with boring details that "the others" think are important. I say give them the basics and then let them choose which courses to take in an environment that pertains more to their interests with enough guidance to keep them safe. Let them open up their world instead of locking them down in mindless dribble day in day out. And no homework - enough is enough.
As far as nerds go. I have always found them more interesting to talk with than any popular kid. In my day the popular kids were boring, empty headed, insecure and some were mean. Are they still? They knew how to work others period. Talk about an unimportant skill to master.
I wish there was some way to wiggle my nose Samantha style and make all kids realize how first and foremost the opinion one has of oneself is the only one that should be so important. High school is a blink of the eye in one's life and I wish kids could see that while in it. Putting things in perspective is very hard while living it BUT it can be done.
And no, I wouldn't go back to high school for anything. I don't go to the reunions cause I could care less about what those kids are doing. I didn't CHOOSE to have them in my life I was only stuck with them for a while. Remember that.
Unfortunately-- think about how many successful people have gotten ahead on that. As people, we're all too quick to dismiss how valuable certain social skills-- even the ones used to con other people-- are.
Yeah, it sucks and it's unfair, but... that's just the way it is, it seems.
As for the bullies-- I really wouldn't be surprised to see them bullying others beneath them in workplaces, being managers or HR people, and managing to look great to the bosses and like manipulative assholes to the people who work under 'em.
Unfortunately, "working people"-- particularly in combination with a sadistic streak-- and the ability to go undetected-- seems to be an attribute in the career world. :/
"It's much more about alliances. To become more popular, you need to be constantly doing things that bring you close to other popular people, and nothing brings people closer than a common enemy." - Paul Graham, Why Nerds are Unpopular
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't give anyone with influence over other people's ideas ANY REASON TO DISLIKE YOU. Even if people are insulting you with being provoked, just ignore them and maybe throw a sarcastic 'Nice to see you too' (most of them are too stupid to recognize sarcasm anyway). Eventually people will warm up to you, and you'll feel better anyway when you just ignore the stupid crap that they say.
For example, I know a kid who is called by many people 'gay.' I didn't particularly like him since he was rude. The problem was that he was rude to everyone. When you respond the the stupid crap that people say, you just give people more feul to dislike you, and less guilt when they ruin your life.
My life was miserable in 7th grade because I didn't understand that dissing them back wouldn't help me. When I started 8th grade, I began to notice how rediculous the antics the other kids used really were. Slight polite things to people you don't know will get them to like you. If this is the way you act, why would you have
enemies?
Without being arrogant I can say that I was always a "smart" girl, I was a year ahead of the others, and I almost always got the best marks everywhere. When I was in primary school, I sometimes had to cope with the jealousy of certain people, but I had friends and I was really happy.
My life became really miserable when I reached high school. What I felt then was basically that even the people I used to know and like in primary school had been turned into stupid and mean people almost instantly. I cannot say I was constantly bullied, probably because I'm a girl (I think it's worse for boys). However, I was sometimes bullied and very often ostracised. I had a few good friends, who were not necessarily nerds themselves but happened to behave more intelligently.
You analysis is so, so true. Conformism really is the key. And indeed, I already realised back then that the reason why I was not part of their "society" was that I hated the idea of conforming to their stupid rules so much, that I'd rather pay the price and stick to my principles, even if it meant being uncool and lonely.
And what you say about adults is also very true. They absolutely don't realise what's going on. To them, you are smart, hard-working, getting good marks, so everything is OK. I remember how I sometimes felt distressed when they would meet at the end of the semester to review all students, and would usually spend about 3 seconds on me because "everything was alright" and "there was no problem". I also remember feeling like killing my teacher when he started praising my work for what seemed like hours in front of the class, while I could feel the jealousy and hatred growing in my fellow student's minds. He was pronouncing a social death sentence without being aware of it. Some of my "friends" even went to see him and complain that he was praising me too much, and that they found that annoying, but he got angry and did not understand the problem. I also think that this issue is a key to what they call the falling standards in education. Some people have real difficulties, but a lot are bad or average just because studying and showing interest in your studies is SO uncool, and also because getting good marks would put them closer to nerd status.
Most people in general don't understand this issue, and many even laughed at me when I complained about this; I was the "poor little smart girl" who complained about insignificant stuff while they would have like soooo much to have had my good marks (but they probably wouldn't have liked what came with them). Maybe some of them won't acknowledge it because they participated in the system and feel ashamed of it, or just because they are completely unaware of the mechanisms you described so well and to them it seems "natural".
^_^ I hope to communicate with you again.
i always felt so conflicted in highschool. i definately identified with nerds but since i happen to be attractive i banked on that instead and chose my words very carefully because heaven forbid anyone should realize i was *gasp* SMART!
in middle school, before i'd discovered a straightening iron and figured out how to apply my make up correctly i was so jealous of the popular kids. everyone was always talking about them and their parties and i just wanted so much to be a part of it, just like everyone on the other side did.
fast forward a few years- i realized that i had finally done it. i was one of them- on the "right" side, if you take my meaning.
i remember being briefly at this party my senior year where some of the "cooler" sophomores were congregating and it wasn't glamorous the way i would have once imagined it to be. i found myself thinking how two years ago i would've died to be here, and here i was. the girls, the ones who won't talk to you unless you're somebody, the types i'd always found so intimidating, were sloppy drunk and making asses out of themselves getting felt up publicly by boys who were dumber than they were...
and suddenly the irony of it just hit me, that THIS is what i'd been missing out on all these years... and i just smiled to myself. i think i felt myself grow up a little bit in that moment having finally realised the secret of highschool:
popularity is a facade. it really only exists to those who aren't popular- the popular kids themselves don't even think about such things because they aren't that self aware. they're bland and ignorant and they merely EXIST and those who believe they're beneath the higherups perpetuate their starpower by admiring them and talking about them and for what? it's tiring to even think about it.
i'm just so happy that it's over!
oh and don't hate on my email address... yessss i know that it's lame.
i made it in the 8th grade. =]
Being naturaly smart (i.e ability to learn fast) is a true gift: you can play both game :-)
The study game, my parents taught me it, it was prety simple: "you surely don't see the point learning all these stuffs, but just do what you are asked, value achievement and performance above all, then you will be rewarded few years later".
The popular game, I learned it by myself, observing how it works: be cool, ally with popular people, but NEVER look or pretend to be smart (being a live wire can help alot), lie (not too much), perform as best as you can in sport (practice if you're not good enough).
This is the way to be successful in life, having a happy high school.
And by the way when you play soccer, you don't need to care about the glass of water above your head, just stay focus on your objective, you know you will be able to refill the glass later, sticking with the image.
Still... it worked for me.
I mean, sure, you'll be popular and "happy", but in my opinion, you lose any and all integrity when you decide to just "go with the flow" and change who you really are, just to be socially accepted.
Also, the method you use for studying is really bad. You should learn things because you WANT to, not "just because" as your parents seem to have taught you. A mindset like that creates dispassionate drones, something that is, in fact, NOT desirable at all. I mean, would you rather have a doctor who became a doctor simply because he wants to help people or a doctor who's just in it for the cash? I'm sure you get fantastic results in school, but really, it's a bad work ethic, just mindlessly following after rewards.
But I was also very popular. I ran for President of the student body, when I was in grade 12 and won in a landslide.
I have no idea whether or not I can speak for everyone who gives it their all in High School, but listen, for me, it was all about social 'regular'ness, or better yet, social moderation. I never tried to put myself in ONE category of people, which is what happens SO MUCH in High School, and what I noticed many of the people I knew did. That just isn't how you get the most from High School. That's what I felt, anyways.
i am not a nerd
i dont want to be a nerd
i dont get the point of this website
DELETE IT!
I've come to find that, yes, the lower-tier of the social ladder try to step on us as a self-boost, and to be quite honest I can't completely blame them for that. I can understand the goal, just not the means. However, being intelligent as I am (as well as having a great degree of artistic prowess), I seem to command, if not popularity, a sort of respect from my peers. It turns out that I am generally disliked by people who have never met me, but liked by almost everyone who's gotten to know me. In the world, it's respect, not popularity, that gets you places. Make yourself well-known for what you're good at and people will know you less for your shortcomings, although you can't be too overt without seeming pompous and self-serving (For example, I prefer to draw in public and let other people see for themselves how I am, rather than say "I'm a badass artist, look at my stuff." verbally).
When someone asks you why you prefer to sit around jotting down code on scrap paper for later when you can smack it into your computer rather than going out and playing sports? I frequently respond by asking them why they like playing sports rather than practicing theater. I may not know anything about their football coaches, quarterbacks, teams, whatever, but I'm damn sure they couldn't tell me about Frank Frazetta, Chuck Close, or R.K. Post.
Case in point: Keep yourself happy with -you-, show people that you're confident in yourself, and the only people who're gonna' keep bothering you are the incorrigible idiots who're gonna' do it anyway.
MOST have the mentality that if your smart, you don't have time for much else like maintaining a social life, replacing the glasses with contacts, combing there hair in a better way, or pulling down there pants a little.
I enjoy being around intelligent people. It's refreshing. But when there so 'smart' that they disconnect themselves from the world, then it's annoying, and i do not like them much.
I mean, honestly, you CAN go home and play dungeons and dragons and STILL be a cool person. I don't care if you still play with pokemon cards.. you can still participate in the outside world.
I take my hat off to you.
Fellow Nerd.
I've understood many things that no one can understand unless he listens to an experienced adult.
What are you suggesting nerds should do? Fit in or be careless?
Thank you very much.
Anyway, great article, I'll be sure to send anyone who don't 'get' nerds to come here and read. It explains the situation as it is. Thanks again!
One of my passions in life is rugby and this went down well with all the more popular kids, I was fast, agile and held a squad place through all my years at high school. I was also quite creative, not the most intelligent of students but willing to answer questions and even question what was being taught to us and so I was also popular with the "nerds". Or so you would think. I become a sort of go to guy on match days and when English, Art and Music essays had to be done the rest of the time I was an outcast. I spent most of my school days on my own either reading or practicing on the fields. In my words a full on billy no mates. When I reached college I was in a pretty low place suffering from depression and more than once contemplated suicide, I didn't think I was going to stick it out but then I found other people who had been just like me, we have formed some strong friendships that last to this day, which rebuilt my confidence and allowed me to look back and be glad that my time at high school has made me into the man I am now, ten years on.
I'm not the most successful of people nor am I unfortunate but I have found my place through the help of good friends, an eventual determination to better myself and to enjoy the things that I enjoy, from rugby to reading to playing RPG games on my pc, no matter what anyone thinks or says otherwise.
Some advice to anyone who wants it. Stick with your passions, don't change for anyone apart from yourself and try your most to enjoy high school, it can be tough but think that in ten years what do you want to look back on and say.
However, I wonder whether you are correct in saying that popularity is unimportant. There was a book called Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, which cited that people who were socially adept were more likely to be successfull in life. (Or something like it....I read this ages ago). I believe the measure for successfull was career/financial, however one could equally define success in terms of happiness.
So, while I think it is important to pursue ones passions, it is perhaps also important to learn social behaviour, depending on what makes one happy. I think I probably sat at the B table in high school (I honestly didn't pay much attention, but I was never persecuted nor did I feel highly popular). I have a PhD, but have lately begun to realize that I would like to further develop my social skills....not only for my own happiness, but also to avoid those faux pas that hurt those around me.
And it isn't an all or nothing affair. I have plenty of free time which I devote to leisure.
Sometimes, I know I'm just too lazy and committment phobic to make too many plans with my friends.
So I wonder...whether social skills should be higher up on the list of interests than some of us make it out to be. If it is important "in real life" then why don't more of us care? If is is not important "in real life" then why do popular kids put so much energy into it? Preference for instant gratification? Lack of clear RL goals? Obviously I haven't thought about this as much as you have in your essay, but I think the subject merits further discussion...and perhaps academic publication :)
Cheers.
I wound up dropping out at 14: I'd come to resent so much about the institution and what I felt it stood for-- and I got sick of teachers with power trips, the blind conformity and "inmate code" amongst the student population, and like you say-- the pointlessness of it-- that I wound up getting a fulltime job and working in retail for a few years. (And then went to uni as a mature age student-- amusingly enough, I was starting uni the same time as the kids I would have graduated with did.)
So-- thanks for putting it out there, for admitting to the ugliness, and putting some logic to it.
The last section hit a nerve with me, too-- the moment I found out I was pregnant with my first son, I thought, "I don't want him having the same crummy childhood and school experience I did," and one of my greatest fears is that he'll come to hate school as much as I did. I just wish there was some more practical way to get involved to actually change things: it's hard to know where to start.
All the best-- and thankyou.
First thing, I'm one of the most popular kids at my school, and I've also got a MENSA level IQ (but maybe that's because I'm also really pretty). I'm appreciated for both popularity and smarts. I find my social life much more important than grades and studying because, like you've said yourself, "[we] are sent off to spend six years memorizing meaningless facts." Meaningless. Most things you learn at school aren't really applicable in real life, whereas being socially adept is just as important for success in RL as knowledge is (yes, there are socially inept people that have succeeded on knowledge only, but there are also stupid people who have succeeded on charisma only. Most have both, though).
I think social ability, charisma, etc. is very important for sucess in the "real world", pretty much as important as actual knowledge is, and, just like the populars don't give much credit to "book smarts", the nerds don't consider it as important as it is. Socially adept people have more chances of getting jobs because a part of getting it is charming your boss. Presenting yourself and your knowledge in a way that makes you appealing to people is as important as the knowledge itself. They're more likely to get promotions because they can climb their way up the corporate ladder using skills and charisma the way they do it with the social ladder, whereas the less adept one have big chances of being working bees that are underpaid and under appreciated (not saying that it has to happen, or that it generally happens, but there are chances). Also, generally, socially adept people have a bigger circle of friends, a richer social life and are generally happier than less adept ones (at least studies show that).
As a person who plans on graduating in marketing or commercial design (which further proves that popular people do think about their actual careers and the real world, at least the smart ones like me), I'm very aware that, even in RL, there's a lot depending on how you present yourself/your product. The socially able kids are experts at this.
Also, I think popularity depends more on whether you're an extrovert on an introvert - to an introvert, socializing doesn't matter, whereas it's the key to an extrovert's happiness.
Also, I find it odd that, with your very keen analyzing of all the social phenomena in a typical high school, you haven't mentioned intellectual elitism. Some geeks in my school can be just as cruel and elitist as the popular kids. Not all, but some act like they're superior to the rest of us poor mortals because they've got good grades and see how meaningless and worthless the high school's social system is. I've seen a really smart guy constantly humiliating, laughing out and underestimating his best friend in the cruelest of ways because his friend wasn't that smart - he was one of the "stupid" geeks who don't belong anywhere. The same way most populars consider nerds worthless weirdos, some nerds find the populars shallow, worthless and stupid (which most really aren't), and this insults the populars the same way social elitism insults the nerds.
I would really like to discuss this all with you, so, if you want it too, you can send me an e-mail.
You cant always get your way through life sweet talking people.
And about the nerds insulting the popular kids, "All is fair in love and war"
Actually, I kind of feel bad for you and others who have posted comments. I too had a grade school full of some mean-spirited kids and unfortunately, I had a strong sense of justice and went to the aid of a really unpopular, put-open kid. But my high school has an entrance exam and admits mostly at least marginally smart kids. So it's easier to relate to a lot of people and has a nicer atmosphere. There' s only a handful of designated nerdy kids and even those kids aren't really given a hard time. So I hope that things go better for you and anyone else have difficulties socially.
You had some really good points in there, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
Brilliant!
Being a 14 year old nerd, I now understand why I have never been popular.
Cheers.
First they rip you off for being smart. Then the word "smart" is substituted with "spock". Then they think you're an uptight goody-too-shoes because you don't have a boyfriend and don't go to parties. Truth is, I'm never invited to parties. And don't you meet boys at parties? And then you're "weird" because nobody bothered to get to know you in the first place. So over it.
fortunately (i guess), i didnt have to go through any... well MOST of that... my parent put me in a home school deal when i got into the 6th grade. but.... i donno about home school im happy i dont have to put up with any of that bull (i might qualify as a freak but with out the drugs) i dont think i could handle it... someone would have either ended up hurt or dead if i had to put up with that. but on the other hand when ur not (for lack of a better word) forced to "go to school" its like whats the point? my dad has already told me to my face that its bs. so im left here standing at the fork in the road with like 70 somethin credits to go... and ive been stalling for like a year now... im kinda surprised i havent been kicked out already.... i want to graduate... im GOING to graduate... but for what? so can work at Burger King? i was blessed enough to find what i want to do really early in life but... this... this piece of friggin paper (and another one of course) MIGHT just determine wether or not i will achieve what i want... at any rate... i hope this bs is fixed b4 i have kids.....
oh right! awesome essay XD
well.. i was trying to find out why the writing for my zodiac sign on my myspace profile.. was different to all the other answers... so in desperation...
i typed in why?>! in google.. and this is what i got!!
hahha most funniest thing in my life!
i'l use terms so ppl can't find me and get me =|
okayy.. so lets say that i go to this school... we'll call it...
Aardvark's Academy for raccoons...
so im at this school right...
and.. i have lots of friends.. and we dont have tables for seperating the popular and unpopular... and we aren't mean to them or anything.
and we're the most popular group.. but.. i am not dumb.. and most my friends are actually pretty bright.
and we are in the advance classes... and we're in the smartgirls maths team.
so... i'd say.. students at aardvark's accedemy for raccoons... aren't one to discriminate :)
haha who i no XD
yeah !
hahaha
nerds... i love them. hahahaha
oh except for a kid in my class.... lol
Another effect may be the ammount of sports kids play. When a smart kid plays a sport, even if they suck, they still gain respect from playing. Sports create a hierarchy that benefits all involved.
they come from nerds!
so why need be popular when thy could be smart?
the thing at our school is that most smart kids commit suicide because the bullies bullied them all the time without a break.
i was a WEIRDO not a nerd, they thought i was weak in everyway.
they went flying in the air , when i used aikido on the little fuckers, the nerds hang out with me now for protection and i hang out with them to get better scores.
the next year a kid about 30 cm smaller then me started to bully me and made friends with the bullies thinking they are the gods of the world.
after half a year, at lunch i was playing conkers with my best friends the *bully* came from no-where and took the conker out of my hand and through it at concrete(it broke), then he punched me in the belly i told him i didnt feel no pain so he punched me in the face i ducked and punched, then i was attacked by his mates i did aikido moves on them and they went flying, just at the time when i was doing my aikido on the fuckers the teachers came and told me off and i was taken to the headmaster.
the story ends here, now bye as by the time i am reading this i am probably lying in a pile of blood. if you ever see a person called connor singer, please punch him in a place i will never be able to use.
Bye Bye,
I'm not quite sure that "nerds" are as stigmatised here as they seem to be in America, and people's whole concept of "nerdiness" (in a school context) here is quite vague and seems to derived from its depictions on American TV.
I was bullied quite a bit when I was in school, but that was pretty confined to the time period that I think is roughly equivalent to middle school in the US (maybe a year ealier). In my last few years of secondary school, the people around me seemed very approachable and I got on with them quite well. Certainly the notion of "popularity" stopped being important at the age of 14 or 15... though I get the impression that isn't the same in all-girls schools (I went to an all-boys one). The average secondary school here is also a lot smaller here (as far as I know), which may be a factor too.
I don't think I ever really felt trapped in school - it never felt like school was all there is to life. More precisely I suppose, it never felt that the barbaric society that existed inside school (which, at least for me as I explained above, didn't feel as barbaric as made out in this essay) was the primary society that I was a part of.
I didn't have any real friends in school (though there were people who I'd get on well with) - but I had many good friends (who I still have) outside of school. Initially, a lot of them were people who I had met and who I'd talk to online. There were a couple of online communities (of other nerds) that I felt a part of - I learnt a lot from them and it made me feel like I had a purpose (writing code, essentially) that was more meaningful than school.
However, when I was 13, I made a whole new set of friends who I knew in real life and became much closer to - at a thing called CTYI. Basically, it's a programme that takes the smartest 13-16 year-olds in Ireland and gets them to live on campus in DCU together for three weeks while they study something they find interesting. While I didn't have a lot in common with the people I met there in the sense that the friends I made weren't necessarily into computers, I was still able to have intelligent conversations with them. I was able to get to know them in a real way, and it really shaped who I am today.
The whole experience (which continues even after the three weeks are over - people who know each other through CTYI invariably meet up in town on a Saturday (Ireland is small enough and has a decentish enough public transport system that it's possible for teenagers from everywhere in the country to meet in the centre of Dublin on a Saturday)) just felt so far removed from what school was like that school just didn't seem important once I had experienced it. This feeling seems to be pretty universal among CTYIers, and I honestly don't know what I'd be like right now were it not for CTYI.
I know that there's CTY in America, but I don't know many people end up going to it. Certainly for the nerds that are aware of CTYI in Ireland (and it isn't as widely known as it should be - my school never said anything about it, I discovered it by chance), it takes a lot of the misery out of being a nerd in school. It makes you feel so happy to be a nerd because you know that the non-nerds who look down on you couldn't possibly have a life as fulfilling as you do, or friends as good you do.
So those are just my experiences - as for your criticism of the school system as a whole: I completely agree. I remember saying things along the lines of what you said in that essay to my English teacher last year when explaining why I was never able to motivate myself enough to do English homework... but it would still take me years before I would be able to express those thoughts as eloquently and clearly as you've done. Thank you so much for writing this - I can't wait to show it to people who I think it would help, because I would never have been able to express those thoughts as well as you've done.
I feel that nerds are equal as everybody else. It's just that nobody seems to notice nerds because they seem to think that even though nerds are quite intelligent, they are not physically attractive, not being popular (which is a problem for me) and other reasons like that.
Other people don't seem to pay attention to nerds because nerds have different habits to other people. For example, some more popular and stronger people tend to play sports where nerds settle for less physical habits such as READING, or typing which is what I'm doing right now. What I'm trying to say is nerds' habits are mental, and other people's habits are physical.
I would wish that everybody was a nerd. That way, we can all be equal - there would be no ups and no downs.
I wouldn't say I'm a "D", though haha. Maybe a B-. :)
This is exactly what I'm going through and you're right: Teenagers nowadays are downright barbaric. They work around the clock to be popular....and for what? They're caught up in petty squabbles, Myspace, who is dating who, and conforming. Honestly, it makes me gag. Most of the so-called "popular" people a my school wouldn't understand this essay at all; let alone the word 'albeit'. Bill Gates once said that bullies should be nice to nerds becuase nerds will be their bosses one day.
I think that has a lot of truth.
For me Honors courses have been like heaven. Having a support system (in which the members are of the same age) has done amazing things for me because never before have I met kids who are so similar to myself. Friends who recognize that doing well in school and learning all we can is more important than trying to climb the social ladder. I'm not saying we don't have fun, but the party only starts after we've done our homework. lol. Other kids call us tame or prudes (which is true, in a way) but in reality it's just called being smart. 'nuff said. :)
Anyway, thanks for writing this - I can't wait to forward this to some of my friends who this could really help out.
Anon Thailand
I took a few honours classes and a few regular classes. I was treated with more respect (and had more friends) in those regular classes who had average/popular students
Great essay :D
I associated with who I wanted to associate with, whether they were geek'ish, cheer'tators, athletes, etc. No one should ever feel ashamed about actually doing school work, and getting good grades. No one hated on me when I got my work done, cause it doesn't make or break the way you dress, the way you look and if no one is buying your clothes, it really doesn't matter what they say (right?). Although i've seem some very off the wall outfits, if its you, do you, confidence just might add a little fire to it (FIYA!).
For the so called geeks though (people have names, there are enough titles in the world) it pissed me off to see someone bothering them in class, and the teacher, making money to teach doesn't intervene (it blows). So at times i'd find myself damn near about to get in trouble for saying something, because the teacher wants to come at me, rather than actually doing their damn jobs. Don't be scared of the damn teachers either, if you are being bothered in their class, put them on blast with your parents, and the office.
Things shouldn't be ignored, and I can't lie, I didn't want to be in a class where a kid lost it, and shot up the whole room. LOL
Attending an English secondary school, I can only recommend some traditional measures to help nerds. We have a lower standard of 'nerddom' and having schools graded on academic intelligence gives a meaning to school life. From my experience, school doesn't seem merely a prison for children, or why else would governments spend so much on educaton? However, schools do house children so adults can work etc. Though it is easier to be popular, here some nerds do manage to 'play the game' and compete with the 'jocks', often outdoing them with a superior sense of humour, which is used to devastating effect in amoral insults. So, nerds in America need to either learn to use humour and be socially accepted (though the British stress on humour may make this easier in Britain), or (preferably), American society should intervene to separate the intelligent from those obsessed with popularity and introduce traditional academic standards to provide a purpose to schooling. Finally, the adoration of sporting success (which is useless to human progress) and the focus on shallow values of appearance, slang (retards etc.) and 'gangsta' disrespect must be stopped, by tighter controls on child accessibility if necessary. Ignorance, violence and conformist rebellion are the virtues of teen culture and this must change to prevent bullying, abuse, misery, suicide and school killings. Villifying intelligence is contrary to nearly every society in history and only by forcing teens to be nice and limiting the influences negative role models can decent, hardworking teens grow up living in intellectual and social freedom and equality instead of the Stalinist terror of a social elite.
I was a nerd and an outcast in school, either actively bullied or ignored. I didn't even fit in well with the other outcasts in my school. I think part of the problem was due to the simple fact that I'm... well... odd. I somehow seemed older and younger at the same time than everyone else. I had my idealistic, revolutionary phase (which comes to most people in college) as a sophomore in high school and my constant prattle about the importance of reproductive rights (among other things) , gun control and habeas corpus baffled most of my classmates. I might as well have been speaking Tagalog.
Ah well. I suppose we live and learn.
Can someone help me with the "nerd" problem?
I thought this was a very good and well written article and straight to the truth.
I totally agree with you, the things that nerds have to go through are horrible.
I've hanged out with the popular kids all my life, i'm in the cheerleading squad, so i don't really know how it is to be a nerd, but i can imagine how they must feel. My friends pick on the unpopular kids all the time, but i could never do what they do, i don't like hurting people.
But i disagree with the fact that popular kids can't be smart. Most of the popular kids at my school are very interested in studying, and have great grades.
So, smart people could turn off the internet, then where would MySpace or FaceBook be!
So that means popular people are at the mercy of smart people.
just kidding:)
Popular people can be smart though.
cunt.
Make sure they all like make one job dont do physics and cooking and computer stuff if you wanna be a doctor!!! BUT HIGHSCHOOL ISNT ALL YOU GOT COLLEGE!!!!
AND UNIVERSITY!!! dont spend so much money save it all for education and be really fuckin suprised cuz im in the 7th damn grade and havent BEENto highschool and im gonna enjoy elelmentery as i can cuz highschool my life gonna change and i wont be such a little kid anymore!!! and puberty made my voice really low and tough like lets see MASTER CHIEF AND IF U A SUPER NERD GOD DONT PLAY VIDEO GAMES DO HOMEWORK!!!!! AMERICA FUCK YEAH!!!! just kidding usa sucks Canada eh?
peace out- Atown
ASSASINATE OBAMA!!!!!!! no dont hes a good president for the us your healthcare would be oh verry fine just that YOU REALIZE YOU USA FIX YOUR FUCKIN ECONOMY FAST YOUR FUCKIN IT UP FOR THE REST OF THE WORLD ENOMOMY!!! WASTE YOUYR MONEY BUY STUFF BUY NEW CARS from gm dodge chevy .etc Sure healthcare will be fine but taxes up the roof!!!!! FIX IT OBAMA PLEASE!!!!!! i hope your grannys in hell!!! McCain wouldve made a war in Middle-east countries and bomb em`
The dominant or the Alpha male is the one who reacts the least to any
situation. You can notice this in conversations too.
The reason is simply that responding does not show a lack of self
security but reacting does, if something makes you react, it shows
your security and assured self-worth was challenged for you to act out
of accord by reacting to a particular scenario.
To put it in a more elaborate fashion:
The athletes, good looking guys, etc over a period of time get a lot
of validation from external sources.
For example, when I dress up and go out, people often stare which
gives me a lot of self-assurance and gets my identity validated.
Similarly, the 'jocks' get themselves validated by people for a period
of time so they automatically assume the alpha role in a scenario when
they talk to someone who does not impress them or exhibits a higher
amount of self worth than them.
People seek validation primarily from potential mates, secondarily from seniors.
Athletes enjoy both to a good extent
Good looking guys enjoy the former to a great extent
While Nerds enjoy the later in a moderate extent.
The movies where the nerds and geeks are tooled don't do much to add
to their self worth.
So the question arises, what do the nerds do to enjoy popularity?
I disagree entirely on the article's basis on 'dropping a few scores
and working on popularity' infact that would be counter productive if
not else.
The key behind any sort of dominance is to be proud of what you are
doing, the nerd has to be fascinated with his work and ideals, he has
to be like 'I AM A NERD! YEAH!' if you get my point.
Females are very likely to follow lead of Alpha males, Alpha are not
necessarily a physical group but more of a 'less reactive, more
assured' group.
The idea behind it is simply being instinctive in life, If you feel
like being a nerd when you are a jock, you are likely to be a beta
male despite being a 'jock'
Because if you are fascinated with something else, you will probably
react to it, you will probably have less confidence in your current
position.
Its simple: When you are following your passions, you are doing just
what you are fascinated with and that *personal validation*
automatically generates a public validation leading to the 'alpha
role'
to sum it up short: Do what you want to do and be proud of it.
This is the only thing that makes an alpha male.
You must have noted similar examples when hot chicks often have ugly dudes as mates.
Don't assume.
oh yea bob is right you seem to be quite CUNTISH in nature, maybe that is why you are a nerd!!!
A few thoughts:
1. Students have no choice over their course of study, the timing of their classes, or their teachers. They do, however, have a large degree of choice when it comes to electives. Thus, someone can choose to join the football team or band or choir, or not. Being given the choice makes it much more likely that you'll actually want to invest time in that discipline.
2. There is a significant anti-intellectual streak in this country that is not necessarily present elsewhere. In other countries, chess champions, authors, and artists are often as highly respected (or not more so) as sports heroes and entrepreneurs. In a country where the (former) President thinks that reading is a waste of time and where the Super Bowl is the most watched event of the year, it should come as no surprise that teenagers look down upon bookworms and look up to the high school quarterback.
3. Sometimes nerds really are just bad at interpersonal communication, especially in junior high and high school. Many of them get better at it with age and experience, but some of them never really come out of their little shell. Luckily for this minority, those who continue to be antisocial in some aspects either don't care or learn to be social in artificially constructed worlds, such as online gaming communities, etc...
4. Most of the adults I know actually think geek culture is cool, and this includes the females, who are much more attracted to geeks than to jocks. So as you point out, the message to nerds should be that their prospects for hooking up with women improve as they age....provided they actually make the effort to go up and actually converse with the opposite sex from time to time.
Thanks for your thoughtful essay. If only more students had the opportunity to read it!
you say if your popular your cant be smart is that correct ?
well let me point somethings out , if you really want something bad enough to strive to obtain it , & me being in the perdicament that imean icant say idont know what its like for a nerd because ido, maybe not in the same way or in the same likes or dislikes , but think about what your saying . iunderstand where it goes & im not saying your wrong at all , but why generalize what you seem is to be an opnion more than a fact ? ipersonally always wanted to be popular & isee how much it changes lives & how things really work , but im just as smart as a "nerd" & just as popular as a jock . ido play sports , but ihavent in highschool , ilook good yea thats truee , ihave a sense of knowing what to say & how to say more than half the time , but at the same time im just a kidd , im a junior & irealzied freshman year when all this started that being popular isnt all that , thats what i understand about your article but , ihave a 3.9 gpa & im ranked 35 out of the 551 juniors in my school , ibrag about my grades all the time & even though that sounds irrational its true , but iunderstand what you mean i get girls all the time , but this one time this girl came up to me & told me that iwas tooo hott to be smart ? iwas like your never to of somthing to be something .
you follow your heartt , ilove the fact that im intellegent iguesss being popular is a bonus to that . in conclusion to all this , ibelieve that your right , just in your case. not everyones is the same & iapologize for those kids who swear there so much cooler because they just make them selfs look worse , just dont let it phase you kids , & older peoples of course lol . thank you for your time .
I wonder how much more irony is in 825 comments...
I used to be a nerd; I had no friends, so in the end I dumbed myself down, and I became popular.
Pretty pathetic, hey.
to start with this is coming from the point of view of someone on the edge of the popular inner circle...at my school most people are fairly rich (which is one of the reasons our school has uniform-so we look the same) but some are pretty poor too. That is your first boundary though it is pretty blured.
also at my school the most popular people (bar one or two) are actually pretty smart. there is a difference between being smart and being a nerd. Being a nerd at my school means wearing your skirt below your knees or your tie to your trousers ( big stereotype but there is no one in the inner circle who dresses like that)
My school has far more of a clique culture (though it could be graded in the A-E way to some extent) There are two popular groups of girls; the ones who wear huge amounts of make-up, aren't very bright and are secretly hated by most people. And there is my group, we look like the other group on the outside (though with a little less make-up) but two of us are taking GCSEs(exams taken at 16) 2 years early I am in the 2nd to top set in math(true I got dropped down from the top one:D) and the other two are fairly intelligent. The boy's group I'm not too sure about( they don't seem to have have as much of a clique culture- girls are evil to each other)
But what i do know is that there are merges from the inner circle to vairious other cliques. It often depends on who you live close to or get the bus with.
I find it funny to here about American high school culture, you have it so intergrated about who can be friends with who.
I was watching a program called numbers(something i would never admit to watching to my poular friends) and the math genius guy had set out a plan of where everyone would sit in a cafeteria. he said that if the cheerleaders came in first they would sit down (say in by the window or glass door) then the jocks came in, they would sit as close to the cheerleaders as they could. Then say, the nerds came in, they would sit as far away as possible from the jocks. Then it would fill in round that (say the popular but un-sporty girls would sit near the jocks,etc,etc).
what happenens at English schools is nothing like that. It is similar in way but not much. At my school we have 5 or 6 long tables and we go in year groups by year group (year 9,the 13 & 14 year olds go in first). So it is a bit of a free for all.
But i do recall in one of my first few days in the inner circle (I was never naturaly popular I had to, and still am, work hard to get there and i still secretly have unpopular friends who i can talk about books and such to) we had just bought lunch and there weren't enough seats for all of us (cue momentary panic attack when i thought that they were going to sit down and make me sit somewhere else) so our "leader" went over to this girl in the year below ,who has no friends what so ever, and asked her (politely at first) if she could move so we could sit down. This girl very bravley told us that she wouldn't so she was then told to move or we'll make her life a misery through mini-mes (the popular girls in the year below who we've adopted:D and I'd made the nickname up for). that of course causeed her to freak out and scamper off.
You may have noticed that early not only did i mention that i din't start off popular, but also that i still, even now, have a few "unpopular" friends. I came from a different primary school to the other girls and had been badly bullied at primary school. So when i started I slipped into a unpopular group. I quickly decided though that hardly anyone at this school new me and that i could make myself anyone that i wanted to be. So I set about buying the right clothes and getting a good haircut, and I latched myself onto the popular group in my form. Of course getting them to like me had been the big problem but thanks to a school project that required a group of 5 I begsn to prove to them that I had what it takes.
This may sound like some teen girl book but i swear its all true. The thing is that my old friends had adopted me as a kind of leader so they kept trying to follow me round. So I started to blank them totally in school but made extra efforts to keep in touch with them out of school (I had problems going into town though incase any one from the inner circle spotted me with them). Those friends are pretty bright and quickly caught on to what I was doing though they occationaly give me the cold shoulder.
The problem was I became obbsessed about getting these popular girls to like me and I used to have huge plans about how to get each member to idividualy like me ( I remember one day following them round school working out how to get one to like me because even though they were the one that I didn't like so much, her best friend was ill so I worked on taking her place).
My friend from another school knew all about it and being one of those people who are just naturaly are popular she quickly helped me work out a plan though she found it really funny.
I was never naturally a popular person but I have eventualy made it. Even though it is only a show (I sit here now this webpage up, a game website up and I am also helping one of my friends make a good skin for bebo, oh and I am IMing about 10 people, no joke).
Even though it is hard work I'm actually glad I've put the effort in, I may never be Miss most popular but I'm close enough and I think that I'm going to be happier in adult life because I've proved to myself that I don't have to spend school being bullied.
You sir, are one of the morons. :)
Nice article, I agree with this man on all counts [ I am an 8th grade nerd. febuary 18, 2009 ]
They just think that because they have some money that there parents make they think there sooooo cool and there not. So if you CALL yourself popular than than leave the so called NERDS alone and if you have the nerve to be mean to any one imagine yourserlf being a nerd and every one makes fun of you because you dont have that much money or your smarter than some one. THINK ABOUT IT .
I don't know
very honest
no wonder your unpopular.
lol
LOSER!
Your gay!
Loser!
lol
The boredom/hunter theory, is quite telling.
Also, the idea of vanity & stupidity comes to mind,
considering the human condition.
2 bad this energy is used against innocents & respectable pieces.
About earning internet popularity, I suppose 1 can play other(s) by their interest(s), even though, I personally find that the average internet sociopath, isn't a prize worth chasing.
I know these kinda articles will quickly, traffic plenty of trollers/cyber-bullies; U know'em, when U see'em, simply by the attitude, logic, & content.
I tried to post something like this @ pof's, 1st come/1st served, voting system, thread, & ended up gettin' booted, by, U guessed it.
Btw... nice forum, open & allows for editing; nice stuff...
Thanks from a still-in-school nerd! ^_^~
and for the past 12 years of schooling, popularity has been a mojor focal point to our schooling life.
your article has really made me see that school and being popular is minimal, certanly up against the real world, where correct answers matter.
As you mentioned, it was long after that I could bring myself to reading and truly learning. And again as you said, the worst than all was this incoming belief: THIS IS ALL THERE IS TO LIFE AND NOTHING ELSE.
I agree 100% and I'm glad I'm not the only one who shares this view. Glad someone is using their brain. Exellent insight!
Also, reading this essay, I wondered how much of it was affected by coming from a male perspective in a period before the Internet. Perhaps the isolating experience of high school students is alleviated with access to the Internet? I know my adolescence was immeasurably improved by contact with other people in fandom, primarily female, and primarily college age and older. They were able to give me a lot of perspective on life that I wouldn't have been able to acquire otherwise- for many years I wanted to be a civil rights attorney and legalize gay marriage, and this goal was a direct response to my exposure to the Harry Potter fandom.
Also, I've never wanted to be popular. Those kids weren't the ones I envied.
nerds just be stupid all the time, they can't take a joke, and they play stupid games like runescape all day...even after they have left school. Instead of studying for HSC they bloody play Pokemon all fucking day. If your gonna be a nerd be a real one and not a poser gaming freak...seriously.
mwooohahahahaha
What most people don't understand I think is the difference between being a nerd and being smart. Nerdiness usually implies a willful participation in socially retarded practices, such as boardgames, roleplaying and making friends with stupid teachers. Being intelligent means actually being smart enough to do well academically. I know of A LOT of nerds that simply were not intelligent. They acted like they were, but when it comes down to it, they SAT and GPA just wasn't very high.
This is why so many nerds feel separated from society, because they do not understand how unintelligent they really are! They believe that they are pariahs because of their intelligence, but it is really because of their social awkwardness.
You made a couple good points though, I'll give you that...=)
I just wrote an article about this at my blog.
Interesting article and comments here.
For your information I'm smart and popular and so are a lot of my friends.
maybe Myro won't think you are smart.
Obviously, you might not think some people not popular.
The problem is there isn't any standard on how to measure popularity and smart.
everyone is only referring to the world they live in...
Maybe, the smartest person in your school doesn't even qualify as a nerd in mine.
Send me an email at once. I have so much homeworks to do. I don't have time to write an essay myself...
well for me at least
i am in themiddle of nerd and popular
so normal
and i try to be my self but none of it is working what should i do
The only people that would deny the truth of this article are those who reaped the benefits of the system. Only those who suffer, as this author did, are able to look deep within the system and find out the meaning of it or ask the bigger questions.
Still, I wonder why schools in other countries are not as crazy and dysfunctional as in the US. In Germany, for example, the bullies, who are usually lower class kids, are put in separate schools.
Also, why are the adults in the public schools unable to empathize with what's going on in the school, since they too were in high school once? Have they forgotten? Or was high school long ago different than it is now?
Seems to be working, IMO.
http://www.happierabroad.com/Loneliness_Story.htm
Thanks,
WinstonHappierAbroad.com
hahahaha!
Except that people like you and me, survivors of the system are on the outside. We pay taxes. We "control" "things". So we can make it so the system works. Who's with me?
I'm a nerd, this article is way too long,
I'm not going to read it sorry.
Please edit the article. Perhaps you didn't do that well in English class then?
The low class were not only stupid, but they were the ones involved in most of the fighting and were always in trouble over something. The whole student body shunned them.
Mark in Oregon
since i own a service business , i get to see first hand how most of the nerds had progressed in life. most are very intelligent ( as expected ) they have done very well for themselves financially, and most have nice looking wives as well. I would look at these couples ( nerds and gorgeous woman ) and shake my head ? but what i have noticed is the following through my years of observation by maintaining their properties. a good percentage of the women who married nerds did it for only one reason. for financial security only. not out of love. i know this first hand because i have the time to talk to the wives of the nerds while i take care of their properties. this is the common denominator amonst most of them. the wives of the nerds eventually will look to fool around on the side because there is no fun in their relationship, no deep conversations , no communications at all with their husbands. they confide in me because of my years of service to them to them, and all tell me how boring their husbands are. that they are always working and even when they come home they have dinner , have some small talk then off to the computer to work again. half of the wives say they are not happily married because they jumped in it for the wrong reasons. some are now planning for their children to graduate before filing for divorce some are lying low and just accepted the fact that they are not going anywhere but will always have another man in their lives to fill their emotional needs.
they all complained that if their husbands were more outgoing with the family, doing things together but doing them because it comes from the heart, being affectionate towards their wives and children , their relationship would be different. but what the wives are hoping for is an impossible task because their husbands will never change and have never really left those days back in high school where they all hung oout in some corner of the caffeteria, withdrawn from society...........................
Every school teacher, every education director and gvt minister should read this. In the UK we used to segregate kids according to ability - the clever kids going to an academic establishment whilst those who were more likely to find meaning in social popularity and preening themselves and vote winning went to schools that taught them a lot of useful stuff like carpentry and plumbing and food preparation.
It obviated many of the problems that we see now in 'equality' schools across the Western world. In striving for this faux 'equality' the adults (not sure if they even deserve this designation) have created or at least exacerbated the issues they thought they were countering.
You're right, school (and I speak as a former pupil, a parent and a school governor) is nothing more than a dumping ground, riddled with toxic waste - of time, talent, energy...
I do think you might want to think a little more about just who establishes the top tier in the hierarchy. The existing powers use their control of that tier to manage the whole structure - you don't conform, you don't play. And it is no coincidence that the majority of politicians come from this pool. Nerds are smart and smart people are dangerous - whether they are plotting revolution or just raising their hand to ask the teacher a difficult question.
I was neither nerd nor emo nor popular, but by my senior year I was firmly embedded in a group of non-conformos (art students) in 1969, when drug use was becoming firmly entrenched at my school. In other words, not popular enough to matter but popular enough to be considered "relevant" (in other words, low B, high C). and as for lunch table, we never went to "lunch" but hung out in the bathroom smoking cigarettes.
Of those, how many just faded away into the uncounted numbers of alchololics and drug addicts who self medicate their pain away. Very sad.
Judging by your comment, you sound like one of those who chose to dwell in the lower reaches of consciousness in exchange for "popularity". I bet you watch American Idol as well.
They hate you if you're clever and the despise a fool. John Lennon
You expertly summarized the points people need to start addressing this state of our society.
Five stars.
And do note, you still remember his name...
I did not think that I would even read this paper past five minutes due to its length, but it just took my curiosity by storm. It took me approximately half-hour to read, but it sure opened my eyes to another perspective. In a way, I was lucky to realize in high school that unpopularity is not an innate matter, it is just a lack of a certain skill, to be popular! This was the point where I started studying sociology and other areas of interest in my life opened up. I'm really impressed with your point of view in this paper and will forward this material to my friends.
I recently attended co-ed public school for junior high in western PA in one of Gateway's neighboring school districts, and school was exactly as you described in your essay. Nothing ever changes. You better believe it. If you want to read an interesting book on the same subject, read "Nerds: Who They Are And Why We Need More Of Them" by David Anderegg.
PS. High School football is ridiculous.
I believe that in order to argue against the fact that a sharp increase in hormones contribute to strange hierarchical behavior in adolescence requires evidence of an acute understanding of the effect hormones have on the human body. This essay is a great example of the saying, "Talk is cheap, show me your data."
As primates, as vertebrates even, humans will always create a social hierarchy. Hierarchy is observed in other species as well: every sort of monkey/ape, dogs, cats, etc. I worked in a fish lab for 2 years and even they had a hierarchy. This is a way to organize a group of people. Everyone has their own ideas of what is right and without a hierarchy, there would be no uniformity in the goals of the group, so nothing would get done.
I could use myself as a counter example to many aspects of your argument. So, until you get some statistics about children in school, this essay is a load of opinions.
I think adults can gain respect from students with more discipline from an early age. Capital punishment used to be allowed in schools, but now there are little to no consequences for bad behavior.
In addition, teachers are not screened for their ability to decipher children. Perhaps they need a motivation to take their child psychology courses more seriously. I don't think they realize how they project to their students: "you are all dumb," so students become a self-fulfilling prophecy. And if the teacher doesn't value the subject, why should the students? It is sad that a good teacher is such a rarity.
Its also difficult for people under 18 to find work, since you must obtain working papers signed by the school dean and take them to the employer, parents, etc. If it were easier for young kids to find a paying job, perhaps they would be useful to society. However, since we are a developed nation, child labor is not prevalent. For many Americans, to make children work is to destroy the sanctity of childhood.
A better way to incorporate young people into the "real world" is through volunteer work. Perhaps being exposed to real peril, such as the homeless by working at a soup kitchen, will make them realize why they are going to school... In any case, some statistics on children doing volunteer work vs. perceived quality of life could strengthen your argument.
On the up-side, I did learn some things about suburbia that I wouldn't have ever known...
There is a counterpart to the "dependence of solid data"-syndrome that you seem to exhibit here, and that has to do with understanding what is being written in this essay as a summary and narration of invariable truths about human nature, done as well as the author managed!
The obvious pitfalls of writing the essay to begin with, being the scrutiny of professionals and the ridicule of the uneducated, have not deterred this author from giving it all he's got, and that is commendable to say the least!
In conclusion I would like to say that I'm left with a definite conviction that the focus, tone and "angle of attack" that this author is taking with the goal of trying to explain and analyze the issue at hand, is a more positive and "solution orientated" one, than the approach you seem to embody.
That blows your whole thesis out of the water.
Sounds like maybe you are painting your past with a revisionist brush in order to feel better about yourself....I think there are some merits to your points about physical characteristics...but like I said I was in in the chess club, played sports, had friends of all predilictions and was well liked.
You, good sir, are what I would refer to as a case-and-point of what happens when popularity goes to you head. By the way, using 2 advanced words in your post, does not actually mean you are eloquent or intelligent. Have a nice one;)
By the way, exceptions don't "blow his thesis out of the water". There are always exceptions; this is what it's like for *most* people in *most* places.
Marshall Jones Jr.
Brilliant!!!
The different kind of students and their relationships are very well described; this matches well what I have seen while being at school. While reading, their interactions appear and then I have been able to see how the school pattern has emerged.
While reading, I have thought about René Girard - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ren%C3%A9_Girard - Professor of French Language, Literature, and Civilization at Stanford University - who has done a great work on imitation and victims. He is worth reading.
This beind said, have you heard about Steiner/Waldorf schools ? it's worth discovering. I would have liked being in such a school....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waldorf_education
http://www.steiner.edu/
http://www.bobnancy.com/addr/usa.html
There are of course differences in the 'official' culture as informed by the anthroposophic world view, that will lead to slightly different occasions when you are seen as teacher's pet. And to grade parents/families: the 'engaged' in school life, the middle mass, and the 'parkers' (who had little interest in Waldorf stuff but parked their children to get them a better education).
The Waldorf ideology of harmony (e.g., no principal, but endless discussions in the teachers' conferences that, according to our students representative, were usually won late at night by the teacher who was armed with the highest caffeine level and the most Steiner quotes) does breed a repression of aggression, which then finds subtler ways to express.
The doctrine of no grades and keeping kids of all degrees of smartness together in one class are a source of endless frustration for the smarter kids, and they last for about a decade.
No clear goals, fuzzy evaluation -- every management school will tell you what good that is. Plus a huuuuuge gateway for subjectivity on the teacher's side. (We had a 'class teacher' [i.e. the one who gives at least the first 2 hours every day and remains the same teacher for classes 1 to 9] at our school who seriously believed that kids with bright hair were of a fair character and the dark-haired were kind of evil. I am not making this up, it appears to be backed up by some obscure passages in Steiner's works. Imagine the impact on the little souls... And, as a side note: Search the web for Steiner's racist tendencies -- "root races" that are earlier stages of mankind that legitimately have to get extinct!)
Imagine the bore while the teacher explaining some chemistry or physics experiment 2 or 3 days in a row when you have understood it on day one, or even could predict the outcome before it was performed... Or reading a huge brick in the German class in 20-pages chunks, then you have to answer questions about that piece next day, but you can't -- because you read the whole damn thing in the first days (I sometimes read up to 750 pages/day). I am grateful to that German teacher who understood that I was not being lazy after I showed him that I had set out to work on my own: extracted a complete (!) genealogy of every character from 'Parzival', plus an etymology of every personal name in that book. When I had it finished he copied my work for his job :-) )
Fortunately my town had a university and a city library to feed my curiosity -- but, my, was I a repressed, inauthentic, and lonely kid in an oh! 'so socially aware' Waldorf school!
The nature of the theoretical basis of Waldorf schools, the fuzzy doctrine, the mass of originals sources to pick the quote you need for your power game, the lack of clear-cut rules, hierarchies and authorities, this all just adds much, much more in degrading tendencies than the little advancements can make up for. (...and the latter have mostly been integrated into non-Waldorf schools anyway. Waldorf schools have been founded as a reaction to the deepest materialism period, and have evolved very slowly since.)
-LoZeR-
Shut the fuck up - if anyone wants to hear from an ass, they can fart.
WE DON'T WANT YOUR BULLSHIT OPINION!!!!
"If anyone wants to hear from an ass, they can fart."
pure win lol
I'm guessing you haven't observed the essay writer's experience with bullying and indifference to intelligence because you choose to split your time between your academic and social pursuits. Were you to focus on academia you might be first in your class. However, balance is key to happiness, and so I'm sure you'll be a very happy member of society. You'll never achieve anything spectacular, but you'll be happy.
I just wouldn't presume to equate your social experience with that of students who place excellence above balance. Such priorities might seem rather strange to you - indeed to most of us - but without such individuals we would still be living in trees. That's a fact.
Good pnts. eter...
U just provoked a challenger :P
Right on!
I think teenagers are too much viewed as an unhuman creature. We need to stop assuming that teenagers are suppose to be that way.
You have a done a great job stating your case. I don't know what the answer is. But i'd be intersted to know if you propose a detailed solution to the issue. or possible solutions...
I can’t remember ever picking on anyone, but I do recognize the fact that it would have been hard to invite a socially awkward “new friend” to hang out with the gang.
Looking back on high school I can see that there is a difference between being popular and having good friends. Most kids no matter how “nerdy” can find a hardy band of brothers (or sisters) to call their own.
Good grades plus: Play groups, basketball camps, soccer teams, skiing lessons, scout groups, church activity, plays, art class, etc...
A hyper-educated unhappy childhood is not the key to successful adulthood. Balanced happy successful children, make balanced happy successful adults. If it didn’t happen for you make sure it happens for your kids.
I personally was not popular in the traditional football team sense, wasn't a freak, (not really anyway) and was possibly too smart to buy into stressing out about grades. I've always considered myself intelligent, and my friends and family support this belief. I got along with people and didn't get along with people pretty much indiscriminately. If I thought that someone was a jerk, then I treated them like one. If I thought they were a good person to be around, then I maintained a friendship.
In fact I've found that I'm more disgusted by popularity now, in the real world than I ever was in school.
Position of popularity = (how much you care) - (how much you don't care)
In order to get something, you have to give something else up. That is also true when applied to the so called nerds. As you said, they must give up the possible seat of being popular to maintain their seat of intelligence. Of course, there are ALWAYS exceptions, but that of course comes with the usual unfairness of life.
I never particularly thought myself as a 'nerd' in secondary school, but i did understand the social hierarchy that seemed to engulf everyone. As you said, it's kill or be killed.
I was probably a B/C in your lunchtime hierarchy, but even as that level i completely agree with your school = daytime prison hypothesis. Mass education just seems like a way to conform most people to a generalised way of thinking, unless people are smart enough to think otherwise (the nerds of course!)
And what is most amazing, is that you see these people who appear to be so 'popular' in secondary/high school (i'm from the uk), and where are they now? the bulk of the popular kids in schools are the ones who have low paid jobs or who are in middle management, because they are unable to make that adjustment.
I sort of did see through school as a teenager, but not enough to let myself become tangled up in the system to some degree. It's pretty impossible not to become focused on it to a certain extent, considering the peer pressure and social intensity to become someone 'better' within the prisonlike society of the schoolyard.
I am now in college and thankfully the social hierarchy has diminished to a certain degree. While there is always a hierarchy in society as you said, in college it is dependent on skills you possess (e.g. music/journalism) and how you perceive yourself. The 'popular' social form is still there, but, thankfully, it is less prominant.
now all the formal stuff i wanted to say is out the way i'll end with:
ywah that writing was sick!!
One thing I've noted that seems not to be mentioned - especially with respect to girls - is cruelty and teasing - especially verbal teasing... My daughter has started preschool and we have seen it at crèche!!! The kids are really vicious to each other, especially verbally.. At crèche and preschool/prep level it's "you can't play with me, you're not invited to my party" level but it's just the start and it is relentless.
I have some theories I'd like to propose to explain this...
One is that it is part of establishing the pecking order - if you put others down you go up.
another is that it's self entertainment or entertainment for the local cohort.
yet another is that it makes the kid feel potent, important and makes others fear them.
none of these are mutually exclusive mind you - I would be interested in your thoughts...
I'm especially interested in working out how I can arm my daughter(s) against this... they re both bright kids - luckily they will also do team sports and are quite pretty which should help, but any skills or tricks would help...
note: don't want them to be "popular". Want them to avoid excessive creulty...
I'm sure your sporty and your good looking and your intelligent and your lucky and didnt go wrong.
I'm sure people either got it or ain't.
Actually, scratch that. YOU'RE an undeserving elitist bimbo. YOU'RE the mediocre loser working a middling, unimaginative 9 to 5. YOU'RE stupid enough to have forgotten grade school-level grammar by the time of your writing.
"you either got it or you aint"? First of all, I have no idea what you mean by this because, colloquialisms aside, "ain't" refers to a condition and not a fact. You're comparing two incompatible phrases. But I guess YOU'RE too stupid to realize it. Oh well ^^.
There is a light out there if you stay true to yourself and never allow yourself to feel ashamed of being smart. Long story short, I became a doctor, married a beautiful lady that would never have given me a second look when I was in high school. Ironic isn't it? Funny thing is she was the Prom Queen at her high school and I didn't even attend my Prom--couldn't even get a date. Now I have kids and they are in 5th and 6th: and, I worry.
As a parent, I don't want them to feel uncomfortable and inadequate. I simply tell them to be themselves and hold their heads high. I also tell them to believe in themselves and before you know it the tough years will be over. But one thing is for sure--life is short. There are so many wonderful things to learn and see to dwell on those insignificant things that in the end will be forgotten or won't matter a bit in the grand scheme of life.
It's cool. You're 14; when I was 14, I was cocky as hell and I thought I was better than everyone else (I was also picked on). In the latter part of high school it gets alot better, and you'll end up being respected by your peers (my school was a shitty school, so when I got a 1600 on my SAT I and won the NMSQT [with a score of 235 in junior year], the school administration was all over it and my name was all like... plastered on the front lawn bulletin thing).
You'll get over your cockiness. You won't know what I'm talking about until later on.
By the way, I'm 22, and in my first year of medical school (majored in physics). If it's one thing that I'd like to say: GO TO MEDICAL SCHOOL OR LAW SCHOOL. With the way technology is improving, employment opportunities become scarcer and scarcer. The only fields of study where employment opportunities are in constant demand are medicine and law.
"As jobs become more specialized, we have to train longer for them."
It's not even that. I have an A.S. and work in biotech - with the current kits out there half of what I do is easily do-able by an average high school student. And yet, it isn't done by high school students, it's done by people with associates degrees or bachelor's degrees, and sometimes by the Ph.D.s who like hands on lab work.
It's the chauvanism of those who have passed through academia saying that comparatively menial tasks are part of a job that involves more specialized tasks, and that you won't be hired to do the menial (learning, "apprentice-like" tasks) unless you've gone through schooling that means you hypothetically know how to do the more specialized tasks as well. For the most part what I do is easy, and I learned almost all of it from on the job protocols, not from college classes.
Response to the first half of your post:
Maybe the gifted classes in middle school (which selected for a relative diversity of "smart" people) insulated me against outgroup pressure.
In HS I was socially oblivious; was only basically aware of groups that may or may not have been "cliques". The people I tended to eat lunch with were of the grunge/trenchcoat crowd. I on and off ate lunch (and played Magic:TG) with them throughout all 4 years of HS, and only in the last semester of my senior year did I find out some of them smoked marijuana (which blew my mind and sundered my sense of reality - the knowledge of having been that oblivious).
The summer after my senior year I met one of the people probably considered fairly popular (pretty sure she was a cheerleader) when she was a teller at a bank. I had heard her name from a friend (which is why I knew her), but really hadn't even noticed her throughout HS. At the bank this person who was a cheerleader knew who I was by sight, and I only knew her name after she told me, and her face from having occasionally seen her in school. She seemed like a very nice and pleasant person.
I guess either there really weren't strong "popular cliques" in my high school (in a Navy shipyard town), or I only paid attention to people I was compatible with than whatever the intraschool rankings of any particular person was.
"And that's why smart people's lives are worst between, say, the ages of eleven and seventeen."
My life didn't fall apart until college, where a lack of curricularly-oriented study skills was the killer.
"Unfortunately, to be unpopular in school is to be actively persecuted."
Being slightly over 6 foot tall at an adult height (and never on the short or scrawny side) may have spared me persecution. My parents were fairly upper-middle-class, with a 3000+ square foot house on 120' of waterfront. I don't know if this knowledge got around to other kids, but if it did maybe their relative wealth made me something other than a nerd to be picked on as well.
I remember being verbally harassed by a kid in HS - for some reason we were both called into the vice-principal's office, where I ended up saying to the VP (in front of this other kid - pre-Columbine) that he was the only person I had feelings of wanting to kill. After that we got on well - no more harassment or anything of the sort. The only other time I've been verbally "persecuted" was as a college sophomore by this a**hole freshman. Was already having serious difficulty and eventually dropped out (not due to him). I doubt he was picking on me because I was smart or whatever, but probably (I think in retrospect) because I unintentionally insulted him early on (during a game of Magic:TG).
Alice :)
As i am only 20 my self and just started universify i can only vaguely use the term "life".
"life is what you make it" if you believe you had a hard life because you were so much smarter than every one else then you are infact a stupid individual. We all die so have fun with what you have. If your ugly, so what, thats who you are, if you cant handle that then get rich and buy plastic surgury ;). In the end you only have one shot and it seems alot of you missfired. Your problem for having bad aim.
From your post, I get this dull pain in the back of my right eye, probably because I realize that I have just spent 15 seconds reading something that had a lot to say about nothing.
Good luck being mediocre. The writer of this article has made some excellent, valid points, and the reasons you cite for disagreeing with him (e.g. none at all) are completely insufficient to debunk him.
Also, please post something only if you have anything meaningful to say. You state that you have an opinion, but you never actually say what it is.
PLEASE SOMEBODY RESPOND: I need some positive reinforcement, and someone to tell my why I am considered a nerd (by the way I don't even get along with or hang out with the nerds, tho i hav nothing against them). Also, sorry this post was so long, but I needed to vent.
I hate how sports orientated my school is, there are numerous awards for sporting but very few academic prizes . . . but I suppose that's the way things are.
I used to want to be popular, until my friend became popular and I was given some insight into the falseness of that world.
In the end I would rather be obsessed with things like math and Harry Potter than Paris Hilton and Reality TV.
i'm basically a nerd. i'm in all honors classes and all that stuff. you know, AP Euro, honors english, everything. I get A's in almost everything (I don't want to sound arrogant haha. sorry). And I play guitar in this band, we're called Von Chalant (not that the name matters) and we're like the most popluar band in school. No joke. And it's weird cuz i'm one of the best guitarists in school, i play in jazz band, so i'm friends with all the band nerds, but everyone in my band is more popular than I am. Our drummer is a pothead, our bass player is a football player, our singer is kind of a prep, and our keyboard player is a hilrious class clown. But don't get me wrong, I'm really good friends with them and we make really good music together and we all enjoy each other's company. The keyboard player is also in jazz band and is an incredibly intelligent musician. And I don't really feel these clique differences when I'm onstage with them. It's just that well, they all seem like cool, rebellious teenagers to me and i feel like a skinny smart kid who's just dressed up like a teenager. At all our concerts the popular girls and guys from school come to see us, because that's who the rest of the band is friends with. But i'm sort of not... My friends are more like me.
And once i got to know these "popular kids" a little better because of my priviledged band position, I found out that they're not bad people. They just are a part of the system that brands people as inferior to them.
But when i read your comment i really feel for you bro. Like you have even more redeeming qualities than me and you still get labeled. So what I think is that it's the system's fault, not yours. But don't lose sleep over being popular man, it's propbably not worth it in the long run. Just try to have good friendships with the people you love and do what you like to do and remember that life is short. It's really important not to waste the time you have on things that you don't care about
Don't feel bad man. You're better than you think you are
my name is kendra and i am 20. soon to be 21 (yay!) and you have nothing to worry about... you are so put together! oh my gosh when i was in high school if someone would have asked me to describe myself the way you did i would be speechless! i would never be able to say out loud (or even in print for that matter) that i am smart! or nice or fun (all of which i am, by the way.) i wish i would have read this article back when i was in high school... shoot i wish someone had just told me that high school is not life.
i worked constantly when i was in school cuz my parents were poor and i had to pay for my school supplies and clothes and stuff... from the time i was 14 i had two jobs. i worked full time at a telemarketing place and i worked cleaning hotel rooms on the weekend. so i had absolutely no time to have friends. i wasn't picked on or anything i was just always left out of things.... even the few friends that i did have stopped asking me to hang out cuz i was always so unavailable.
but now that i think of it i think i was told a time or two that high school isn't life... it's just that, when you're a teenager, it's hard to accept that from someone much older... like a parent or something. i wish i could've talked to a college age person...
the biggest thing that i had a problem with in high school was my self image/ self esteem. i was molested at a young age and as a consequence i felt worthless, shameful, ugly and dirty. so i never really reached out to anyone for anything. i never really went out on dates with boys, or hung out with friends. i can count on one hand the number of times i went to the movies. i never went to peoples houses or had anyone over....and people thought that was the way i was because that was the way i wanted to be. but in my heart i am a true extrovert. i love to be around people. i love socializing and talking with friends. that is when i am the happiest. so you can imagine how miserable i was being all withdrawn and quiet... throwing myself into work at such a young age.
when i got out of high school i moved 30 miles down the interstate. 30 miles. that's it. and i was in a new universe! apparently i am cute! (so they say... i had no clue!) and i am funny i tell good jokes! and i'm fun to be around and a good friend. i like to give advice to my friends and decorate houses all of which i did not know about myself. i didn't even know who i was in high school... i don't think many people really do.
except for you. you have an amazing grasp on who you really are... you really understand the way things are in the real world. which is why i think you have such a hard time understanding the way things work in high school.. i don't know what advice to give you so i will offer none. just know that i admire you for being honest about who you are. and i love that you recognize and agknowlegde your positive traits. because believe me there are plenty of us out there who are so eff'd up we can't even see the good in ourselves. i am just happy for you that u know who you are.
take care and you'll get there
my advice to you as woman from her 50.
I am give you a good advice. Be yourself don't worry that someone or 10 kids need to like you or you are unpopular I never thought about it in your age I had only one good girle friend
You are not Hollywood actor to be popular you are lacking your self confident character??I read this site because my husband is nerd and I tried to study from you about nerds. I was born not in
this country and I was always respected and boy-girl at my school and kids very scary of me because I was so independent and sporty. I beat up 2 girls and they never tried again.
Be yourself who you are .Do best Don't please everyone.
Stop to use these worthless jokes if people find them not good.
Clothes, use just like everyone don't make different, make fashion, so nobody will judge you harshly.Find that complement your personality kid,good luck
i was in a dark place but this really clears it up
i hope you can help some other people
Popular Girls (Yeah, you know what I mean)
Athletes (Macho, guys in the U.S call them jocks)
Middle Class (More popular than unpopular)
Lower Middle (More Unpopular than Popular) -Me
Lower (Nerds)
In Aussie schools a funny thing I have noticed is that Lower Middle and Lower are not picked on like you said about nerds. The popular kids really just don't want to have anything to do with them, so they do not waste time with them
There are many sub-groups such as band (ME!) and Nerds etc
I have made my niche as that 'Grunge' kid who listens to Nirvana and Alice In Chains lol. For some reason Kurt Cobain's angsty lyrics appeal to me.
My favorite quote is 'I'd Rather be dead than cool' by Kurt Cobain and for some reason I dislike the popular clan. I do not want anything to do with them. I remember playing Nevermind in the band room with a bandmate. We had the stereo on full blast and put the mike to the speaker and the music blasted throughout the entire school lol.
Do people worship jocks? Everybody?
Why do people worship jocks?
Why do people worship something?
What is worship? What is a jock?
What is the point of being smart?
What is the point of being a jock or a nerd?
The important thing is to think well, if you are intelligent as it seems it will be easier for you.
1. 95% of kids in my school worship jocks, or at least people they concieve to be jocks.
2.they worship them to further their social status
3.Worship is the idolization of something
jock = hot chicks nerd = free college
anything else?
Problems exist in your mind, you can learn how to control them and not vice versa, you can even decide what a problem is.
Think much more deeper and be patient. Think how to find the most intelligent people who can help you being more intelligent (teachers, entrepreneurs, etc.). Understanding is the key, not memorizing. Analyzing all little detail that happens around you will let you synthesize adequate plans in order to achieve your goals.
currently in 9th grade and minutes ago seriously considering suicide.
I am picked on by groups of, "Popular" people, the only people
I feel I could connect to were Drug users/Rebels and now I understand why. Your words flow smoothly with messages that should shame those Educators and Parents into admitting that, "Yes that is right". Thank you for opening your mouth where many adults subconiously change the subject or dismiss the seriousness of the reality of School life.
Thank you, thank you! I also thought the horrible aspects of my current
high school life was due to hormones, THANK YOU, for teaching me
that this information is wrong! I could kiss your feet! the gratitude I feel cannot be conveyed in words. This is perfect thing to shove down the mouth of anyone who says, "Its just hormones, Hon". Thank you-thank you-thank you!<3
I'm concerned with several problems with the system. (Several hundred, but I'll just talk about a few.) The classes have nothing to do with real life. My father and I were discussing the subjects taught in high schools recently. We think it's disturbing that kids are pushed into Algebra II, but never have a class on household budgeting, managing savings, the different types of savings, and how to use credit cards responsibly, etc. I learned it all the hard way. (And I'm not talking about a half-hearted, one-week section thrown into Home Economics.)
I had to read tons of famous literary works, but no one taught me how to express myself clearly and concisely in my writing. What I was taught about proper punctuation went no further than when to use a question mark and when to use an exclamation point. I became an editor not knowing the first thing about editing. I learned from a fabulous supervisor. I took a three week course held at night in a high school classroom, offered to adults through the community college, from a poor-selling Christian novelist that taught me more about writing than several semesters of creative courses combined.
Their idea of career counseling is a joke, if they even bother to pretend to make an effort at career counseling. By the time I knew enough about the real world to see what kinds of job opportunities that were both interesting and *realistically* available to me, it was too late to go back to the beginning and get the education needed.
Something that always really bothered me was the lack of respect for the students. Guards don't respect prisoners, after all. Many teachers went out of their way to be degrading to students. They can be as bad at bullying as students. A teacher and the school administration destroyed my growing interest in sewing by treating me, an good student with a perfect record, like a criminal over missing equipment. A popular girl who disliked me told them I didn't take it and she saw who did. (Then they hinted that the popular girl was lying for me.) I wasn't allowed to sew on my project for a week during the whole mess, then I had to stay after school to catch up. I never received so much as an apology from anyone. What was this whole drama about? A missing bobbin case. Bobbin case = $9; killing a 13-year-old's pleasure in learning a new skill = priceless.
IM GOING TO DESTROY THE WORLD!!!!!
On the topic of spending one's teenage years in a system that requires one to sit down, shut up, and memorize vast amounts of useless information, I agree with you. That is absolutely the source of my problems with depression. I set my mental health goals based on the school calendar. I'm not doing accomplishing anything real, so I conclude that I'm a worthless human being who is incapable of doing anything real. I get a sadistic pleasure out of listening to "High School Never Ends". (Note: I consider all dedicated honors students, myself included, to be sadistic perfectionists. Some of us are diagnosable, the rest hide it to get our parents to stop worrying or, in opposite cases, telling us we're just lazy.)
Fortunately, I have planned an escape route once I make it through high school. Which I will do because I'm a sadistic perfectionist who has endured waaaay too much not to graduate with my 4.0. Instead of college, I will enlist in the armed forces. I procrastinate my more worthless assignments (the ones that aren't even helping me to learn the useless information) by browsing recruiter websites. My parents tell me that college isn't like high school, but I don't believe them. It's still school. They tell me I should look forward to being independent without having to worry about responsibilities. But it is the responsibility, and the knowledge that I am capable of being responsible for something, that I crave. And no, positions in boring school clubs that don't actually do anything and are run by teachers anyway do not count. I hate it when adults call that leadership. It is a weak substitute that is only attractive to resume-builders. Seriously, a girl campaigning for a position in the student government (which was absolutely powerless - elections were popularity contests among the college-bound) made a big deal out of saying it wasn't just for her resume, she thought it would be fun, too.
The smartest kids were also the most popular.
I am insulted by the fact you are sitting here actually sticking up for nerds...
They obviously have no place in the world... So let them be..
So summing up, im pretty much getting at, nerds are a waste of space... only beautiful smart people (like myself) have a place in this world.
If you look at the nerds, they seem much more rational about things. They can think things through. They don't need all the drama, and are focused on their schooling career. Also, most of the technology we cherish is created by such people.
Take myself for example. I'm a 9th grader, and I will not deny it, but I am a nerd. I'm very smart, and almost an A-average student. However, this doesn't stop me from having a social life. I just don't look for drama and parties (though they are fun) and cliques and that stuff. (Unfortunately, no one really can escape drama.)
If you ask me, I say its only a state of mind. If someone wants to do really well in school, they push their social lives aside and let academics be their forte. A social life takes the stage if someone wants to stand out from the crowd. Honestly, I say that a balance of both is best.
So why people pick on nerds, and/or think that they are the bottom of the social food chain, is quite beyond me.
Tangent aside, your comment is quite rude, no offense. To say that only beautiful smart people (as you claim, like yourself) have a place in the world is a highly conceited statement, and one that could create a useless argument.
The world needs beautiful people, and smart people, and jocks, and preps, and druggies, and rejects, and emos, and goths, and all of their opposites. As I said, its a matter of balance, just like with academic and social lives.
Point being, your comment is quite biased and conceited (and I quite disagree with your name for this). But also, in terms of this article, it really isn't exactly black and white, in terms of being a jock or a nerd. There are definite shades of grey. It is only a choice of choosing how to balance these things in life that enable you to determine the path you choose to take.
No wonder why your post is filled with grammatical mistakes.
By what you said, you just told the world that all you have are looks, and the only way you we're popular in Jr. High was being.............. how did you put it....oh ya "good in bed".
Also smart people as you call them are usually more humble. Arrogance blinds intelligence.
If there were no nerds there would be no chemists to make your whore like makeup, or your face wash, and how about shampoo, conditioner, and exfoliating creams and washes? No one!!!!! Nerds are the people behind all your products. Making you prettier so you can be on your 12 child at 25!
Well I do hope that you ARE good in bed darling, because your clients are definantly not going to be paying for the conversation.
(Directed At Good In Bed)
She is very average brain woman.
I am almost 50 years and from another country.
I was in overseas school not American and we never ever had a such problems of talking about our children and our fiends at school. Is this American type of discussion???
I was in poverty world I know what means have no food in this century and no second boots and one boots are just broken and no money to buy and weather is cold outside.
I think American kids are never will mature it is so happy life and too much food and they all going to be too fat here???
Isn't that truth?They don;t have problems except to talk who is who or have sex at 11 years old?
Is this a good culture or it is dead culture which is going to nowhere??Smart kids it is a gold of the country and it is nothi ng to do with popularity!!I wish I would be more smart and study and know English much better or math. I was always bad at math or another .My score was about between B or C
To be smart it is a big plus and sport it is for health and it is good but it is just additional hobby friends Americans. Agree with this??
i think her morals are so right
and everyone should respect and follow what she says !
"HEY GOOD IN BED WANNA SLEEP WITH ME?"
I have noticed recently, though, that the idea of the nerd is becoming more accepted in schools. I have wondered if this is a result of an increase in successful nerds in the media, or because of TV shows and movies for teenagers that portray nerds as good. I am, in fact, writing an assignment on this at the moment. Alternatively, it might just be that I know alot of people like myself who have acknowleged the popularity contest and chosen not to participate.
oh well, i'm pretty sure my future will be better than those who consistently get D's or F's =)
You understand me, right?
I am not saying this because I am a nerd or because I am on their side
But actually nerds are people who could be (sometimes) very sensetive that they get out of there emotions... Which is really bad!
I am a NERD afterall
I get the one of the highest marks in my class.
The weird thing is, college is in some ways similar. Sure, everyone studies hard, but at the same time it's also necessary to talk about how little sleep you got or how hard you partied on a Monday afternoon. This bothers me. Why must I party hard? Don't you know sleep is good for you? It doesn't make sense!
So yeah. Popularity contest part two: college?
Dontworry your not the only who has asked... LOL
the question is do you meet my standereds?
xoxooxoxxoxoxoxoxo
P.s there is a reason im called good in bed.
Honestly people, must we be so ignorant, selfish, and uncaring? Why would you just go and throw out cuss words like that? I'm no psychologist, but to me this message says "hey look at me, i'm so cool cuz i swore at people i think are nerds." It makes no sense. The amount of... I'll make it up here... "educational racism" (segregation of nerds and non-nerds) is just, as I see it, the result of either jealousy or anger at the people who are smarter than others. Constantly, you see people swearing at, bullying, and ostracizing those they consider nerds. What did we do to you? Make you look bad because you didn't score as high on a test as we did? If you're upset that someone aced a test, then you probably need to look again, and realize that its because they studied, and that it isn't their fault, its your own. You need to rethink your work habits, so maybe on the next test you'll score higher.
Please just think about this. For all you who keep posting against nerds, think about what you are saying. If you think calling someone a nerd is an insult, think about this: you are basically stating that they are smart, and also stating that they are smarter than you.
Also, throwing out swear words doesn't make you cool. Just saying.
I'm an almost17 year old Canadian student, currntly busy picking a university for next year. Before reading this page, I opted to picking a university away from home, so that I could escape my parents and grow up in the "harsh world" just as everyone else do. After reading this page, I understood that my self-admitted isolation, boredom, and even false behaviour towards my parents are easier to fix by integrating myself into the real world. Perhaps I get a job this summer rather than signing up for summer school to boost up my scholarships.
I thank you
People are all people.I grow in another country and married American nerd.And these people are different in their social skills even he is almost 64 now.We had a smart gorle in our class overseas and nobody dated her because she was too smart I think that they don't have that special attractiveness that it.
Please don't think that being smart it is bad not , because smart people can create more but not so smart people also do the job that are needed by humans Looks on all American roads, who build them?
Please respect all people and their. job.
That was a very good essay.
I think that more important that reflect on the quality of school here in USA.More smart kids and this country will not need more immigrants .unless Corp want to save money???
Could propose most nerds are that way because they started low on the hierarchy due to poor physical ability/looks/confidence/coolness(whatever the exact sexual ornaments we humans have), so quit the game. Maybe this is why adult nerds are still very poor with woman in general...
Warm alpha broham. Warm alpha.
Its called social status. Ever been to a party? or night club even? No ones going to give a fck about how many lines of code you can write, the people who have fun (without writing an essay about it) are the ones high on the hierarchy.
u kinda overkilled it LOL!
like people be mean if you be different..
I mean you use bloody scientific words... and wadeva other shit you said..
dude how can people relate to you if they dont understand you?
Im not concieted, but i know im gorgeous. Popularity is also based on looks. Which very ugly people are popular too. It really is about who your friends with, and how much other people want to be you, and how your the other peoples ro-modles.
I, myself, do really good in grades. im a a-b average student.
So is most of the other popular people.
Sometimes i wish there was no such thing as popularity, just because sometimes its hard looking and acting so good.
Also, now, popular people are not mean & dont bully others.
No cussing, drugs, sex. None of that.
Im probably the worst out of our popular people. But i've been myself all these years. Being fake will get you no where.
I guess you can draw the conclusion that being "cool" is the same thing as being "popular"
The thing is that most people view these terms from a standard. This standard is set by mostly shallow people who inhabit the majority of the planet. People who agree with each other the majority of the time and therefore are called public opinion.
You have to reach the realization that being cool is based on one's own ideology. Having things in common and having certain morals. Sometimes your ideology is the same as the group, but it usually differs. People who believe that someone is cool because they are told so have weak minds.
Pretty Much...my ramble is just trying to say think for yourself and make your own decisions. In order for someone to be cool in your perspective, there should be some logic
Well actually on second thought I'm not thinking of the very serious nerds, the ones who do in fact appear quite socially awkward. They do seem to be withdrawn from the rest of the school and avoid most people. I talk to them sometimes and their view of the school is similair to yours. They lack respect for the higher class who spend all their time trying to be popular. These kids seem to be on the fats track to suiccess and as a semi-nerd I envy that. I have managed to balance a sort of popularity, at least with my own clique , and a genuine intelligence.
But yes, in conclusion anyone, like Hannah, are not looking at it from the correct perspective it seems. Hannah did not do anything but state that she still didn't talk to nerds and that ugly could be popular which was never argued against anyway. The others below who seem to want to curse at tyou or mock this are undeniable the C or higher class as you ranked them. THey do not understand fully what you are trying to say.
I love your way of looking at things and the way you have basically analysed teenage life.
I go to a 'selective' school full of people that are all very intelligent however i have found that a similar heirarchy is in place and often I am reffered to as a 'freak' because of my high marks (it also did not help that my physics teacher named me empress of physics infront of the entire class for scoring well on a test...)
But what you are saying is true, the thought of being of average intelligence is just so unthinkable i would rather be unpopular...
Although saying that I am not actively bullied but rather bitched about and i have learnt to not care about that so teenage life is not as horrific as it used to be.
Thanks for the post, very interesting points made. The nerds are what make this world work. They make up for all the lazy people in the world, which is becoming more the norm in society today
I think your really cute.
The things you say are like you think you know everything.
And i like thiose things in a guy.
You tickle my fancy.
<3
talk later.
From Amy.
yeaahhh ummm my freiinnd ammyyy told me ur cute.
I uhh kinda agree :))))
sxc
Katie
im sorry to say but you are really a bum jacking poo jaber
its people like you that make me stay at home :)
your a rfaggot muncher.
he is sexy.
That cute anonomous makes me wet..
Just shut up you stupid fag!
you guys are fucking faggots
fuck you all!!!
i fucken hate gays, like yous
he makes me horny!!!
Thanks.
ARGGGHHH!!!!
I AM TANK BROOO!!!!
i really do
dont listen to those other people !.
i enjoy reading your articles.
it makes my ass open :):)
can i have your number and your adreess :)
by the way im GAY !!
The human race's use of technology began with the conversion of natural resources into simple tools. The prehistorical discovery of the ability to control fire increased the available sources of food and the invention of the wheel helped humans in travelling in and controlling their environment. Recent technological developments, including the printing press, the telephone, and the Internet, have lessened physical barriers to communication and allowed humans to interact freely on a global scale. However, not all technology has been used for peaceful purposes; the development of weapons of ever-increasing destructive power has progressed throughout history, from clubs to nuclear weapons.
Technology has affected society and its surroundings in a number of ways. In many societies, technology has helped develop more advanced economies (including today's global economy) and has allowed the rise of a leisure class. Many technological processes produce unwanted by-products, known as pollution, and deplete natural resources, to the detriment of the Earth and its environment. Various implementations of technology influence the values of a society and new technology often raises new ethical questions. Examples include the rise of the notion of efficiency in terms of human productivity, a term originally applied only to machines, and the challenge of traditional norms.
CHeeras.
and I know
that if I just pray
God will stop me from being gay
I go to church
and I know
that if I put my hands together,
cross my fingers
and just pray
God will stop me from being gay
I received the blessing
so I know
that if I put my hands together,
cross my fingers,
click my heels together three times
and pray
God will stop me from being gay
I am 15
and I know
that if I just say
that I am healed
no-one will know that I am gay
I go to church
and I know
that if I just say
the Holy Spirit took my guilt away
no-one will know that I am gay
I tell my parents
and I know
they think it's their lucky day
They cross their fingers,
kneel and pray
yet deep down they know
their son is gay -
but it's okay
"I have no reason to be afraid
In God's image I am made"
Half an hour later and I think I've just learnt more than the eleven years of school I've done so far has ever taught me.
I've always just played the system without really knowing why- I find out where the most marks are scored and concentrate my efforts there, usually this results in my attainment of higher marrks than those smarter than me get. Some think that this is dishonest or somehow cheating- your essay has renewed my faith in playing the system in order to get out.
Needless to say (yet for some reason I'm saying it anyway), I am a nerd. And you know what? I'm fucking proud of it.
Thank you so much for writing this essay, and putting it on the internet where nerds like me can read it :)
But more importantly, I would also like to say thank you for writing this article. you summarize the whole thing so well... maybe I could print it out and distrubute to kids at my school- and teachers :P it could be epic
im a very intelligent high school student, and part of the popular kids group. i am friends and buds with all the poplar kids, but i never hang out with any of them after school. They offer but i refuse. i feel that you have to go with the norms of society and be yourself, and friends will come. i LOVE going to school and seeing my friends, but i never hang out after school is that im too busy studying or doing hw. Being popular is no big deal, but the journey after high school is more important
school sounds very different between the us and england
Kinda wish you wrote this sooner, before I decided to take that 30 percent off in exchange of the chance of popularity, it doesnt pay off...
I suppose thats the weakness with typical American High School System, do you think it would be better if we switch to typical Asian System where they just give you ridiculous amount of work so you barely have anytime to yourself to worry about these things??
I used to study 6 hours after school when i was in Asia before switching to American school
I also strongly agree with your observations on suburbia and "hormones". I was often frustrated as a teen when my parents would not take me seriously when I was emotionally stressed and blame my problems on 'hormones'.
Very much enjoyed your essay. Thank you.
but everything you said there was true ( O=
i couldn't have put it better myself... i think i'm more of a smart person... never really been teased... i'm pretty sure most people respect me for it (maybe because i'm in the smart class, so there a little more mature than the rest)
but i really don't mind school that much (most of the time)
as much as i don't like some teachers, i usually end up learning something, which is good (i can add that piece of knowledge to my brain yay!)
so even though you placed school as being a prison, we should still remember that we get a whole heap of general knowledge in between the important bits haha
what i don't like is that in year 8, the first year of high school, they teach you hardly anything, mostly what they do is give u (by the end of the year) several whole books full of worksheets and handouts.
now i'm in year 9, so it is looking up a little.
nice essay. well done! i think you should send it to all the schools on the world for every person to read...(or at least for those nerds to read haha) it might give the teachers a taste of there own medicine ( O=
Now, before I go further, some background information. I am 14 years old, attending a high school in Fairfax, Virginia, and I just finished my freshman year. I am the epitome of the word 'nerd' at my school. I program computers in C++, Python, and Java, and I build websites in both HTML and PHP, as well as hack websites (white-hat only). I also build and fix computers, and have never gotten a B in my life. I speak both German and English fluently, and I regularly do Game Theory for fun.
Unfortunately, as you said, I am too distracted to be popular. While I am never physically bullied at school (this has to do with the fact that I am 6' 4") I am generally ignored or called names. I have even been rejected by two girls whom I never even asked out! They just walked up to me (on two separate occasions) and told me that they don't want to go out with me. I also have three sisters who make fun of me constantly for being a nerd.
But, enough about only me. Relating this to your article, I would say that this is spot on. US high schools are some of the worst in the country for nerds and non-conformists alike. Popular science recently did a study about this also, and concluded that nerds are unpopular for many of the reasons described above, as well as our lack of interest in sports. There is almost a direct correlation with how physically fit a male is and how popular they are. US schools have become a hole of ignorance. Teenagers are emphasizing ignorance as a good trait, so that some people graduate barely literate! And teachers allow this, too, holding double standards. In my school there are high standards for nerds, in which teachers grade many of our assignments harder because they expect better, a low standard for athletes. I was on a study team in my school, and our group found that athletes get higher grades for the same work. We had an athlete turn in an assignment copied word for word from a nerd's assignment, and the nerd got a B on the assignment while the athlete got a 100%.
Well, I've rambled on enough.
Thank you for this wonderful article.
Joseph Barrow
I am currently 16(.166) years of age, nearly completing my 2nd month at the age. I am graduating from MIT, I have been known to be able to multiply 16 by 16 digit numbers in 1.2833 minutes (1 minute 17 seconds) on a regular basis, yet mentally. Stating my near 'Alma matter', I reside in Boston, Massachusetts. I have some German roots, and controversially the English. I've taught myself Algebra, Calculus, Complex analysis, and some harmonic analysis. I have rotten memory, so, I've never gotten a chance to memorize any facts I am calculating, for it would take too long. I am popular, considering the people who know my calculation feats, but I only have 5 actual friends. So far, my lowest grade is 98, and I have mantained a perfect score in mathematics for my whole life, whether SAT or random mathematics assesments on the internet (I time myself to assure the fastest performance, which always makes me first to submit my assignment/assesment.) I also believe complex analysis, numerical analysis, and functional analysis is fun (it really is), and do it all the time for no reason. I am relatively short, 5' 3", I am easily rejected by anyone I talk to, unless he/she is an intellectual, or a teacher. Otherwise, I am tempted to do any problem given, explaining my high scores, and as said in the article, has habits of reporting external activities, like bullying.
I would say, there were many acts against intellectuals and nerds. This probably comes from stress from the school and/or study and 'fun' habits. Also, nerds are stereotyped as a lower class, ever since the 1970s. Because of its 'great' times, many teenagers convert from high class students, to drop-out party freaks. These mass conversions leave little trace of its history except the knurds (nerds) who studied and had intellectual pursuits. People refuse to accept difference, and stereotype these nerds, until nerds are considered negative and derogatory.
Your article is very interesting, and really explains school scale intellectuals and nerds, being at their worst social status.
Henry X. Pennston
Without a doubt, jr. high schools were like a recreation of "Oz" with a younger cast back in the 80s... but that was before the great equalizer of the Internet. Nowadays, you can find people with similar interests or abilities with a quick visit to google. That awareness of, and interaction with, a bigger world filled with more mature people helps to bleed off a lot of that pressure which in the past would have built up to dangerous levels.
Unless they have such deep social interaction problems that they require professional intervention, even the most socially awkward teen can now build a peer group and break out of the environment that would have trapped us just a generation ago.
Who knows, this may well be one of those problems that goes away after being ignored long enough. ;)
I always rejected the system of social hierarchy but when the popularity game is being played around you all the time, it just feels really bad not to be a part of it. Its very tough to fight off our tribal instincts and sense of belonging to a group.
Intelligence comes at a cost, I'd much rather be a bit miserable and far more awakened to reality than a conformist. Mediocrity and banality is boring and too; is the driving force of the worker masses. I say fsck it, be yourself.
When do you think what I think is a sense of 'awakenedness' to the bs of social order develops? I couldn't say when the switch flipped for me.
after reading this essay, i am pretty sure you were unpopular because of your personality. i wouldn't be such a dick, but there are 1154 comments already, so i figure this ain't getting read.
Oh and @ crotiger,
You're unpopular because you've never tried to be most likely. You're most likely admired, yet demeaned by guys, and pursed by girls. The only thing is that you're used to feeling vulnerable which makes you put up walls so you don't notice when somebody genuinely likes you.
I've just turned 18 and approaching my senior year in high school. I'm 6'2'' (tall), dark hair, handsome (a model), academically superior (perfect grades, lots of contests) but still UNPOPULAR in school. You know why? I DONT KNOW WHY. I just can't understand what the heck are they all talking about. I just feel different.
Sometimes I've even been contemplating suicide. And still don't know what to do.
:(
popular peaple DO demote smarter peaple to gain status. but we truely only learn this when we reach juinior and high schools. as this happens nerds bond with others , not necceraly nerds, for support.
but before in infant and primary schools intelligence was power. if you could do your 3 times table you almostruled the roost. i look back at my old school photos and nearly all the peaple on there i drifted away from. i became smarter the others didnt. i went to a school with relitivly low tandards and i felt out of depth at times.
so i banded with anyone i could.
whikle others would perfer to balance socalising and work a do not fort me i feel i need to put all my effort into my work and socalising comes after. take my it lessons. 1 hour of it and mosty peaple have programmed mase games deemed "ok" y the teacher. i have already made frogger, pac-man and tetris.
but thats just what i think.
I'm not entirely sure how my high school and fellow students flipped the who-is-popular trope upside down, but I'm glad it was, and it shows that it is at least possible for school to be something more than daytime jail. This is likely because my public high school clearly valued the pursuit of education, and routinely got rid of teachers that were bad educators (it may also have had something to do with parents caring more about the academic side of school as opposed to the athletic). I reject the premise that nerds *must* inherently be unpopular, because when kids (and the schools they're in) value intelligence, it's the nerds that rule (as they do on most college campuses). I simply do not agree with the dichotomy you've set up in this essay; it's too simplistic and too limited in scope to apply to all public schools and all nerds.
I do think there is merit in your answer to why what happened to you and other unpopulars (nerds or otherwise) happened, however--it is a lack of adult involvement. The only way to correct the problem is to become an involved adult, whether you're a teacher or a parent or simply a concerned member of the community. If the community expects a school system to give students a good education and equips it with the necessary funds to do so, the schools are going to be much more likely to provide one to their students, and when schools have a culture that is pro-intelligence, a lot of the pettiness you find in high school begins to go away.
good looks + intelligence + self confidence = girls love you + guys hate you
plz only contact me if u know how to get rid of myspace or bebo
It's really too bad that i don't fit into the Nerds group or the Popular group, or any other group for that matter, I'm just neutral. Also the fact that I generally enjoy my own company over anyone elses is starting to eat at me as a little strange. I don't really have any hobbies, though having tried to gain some by trying a whole load of different things. I am smart, but I'm not extremely smart, I get good grades (85%+) without studying too much, but something clicked in my head about 2 months ago, and it was that I actually wanted to study, but not to learn, or to get popularity (being smart can make you very popular, as being an individual is the main thing that other kids see as 'cool', and it just so happens that being smart = being individual, which in turn = popularity). I have no idea why i want to study so hard, but I guess I just don't want to fail later on in life.
It's just too bad that around a month ago i was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, meaning even the one thing i had spurring me on (studying), was hard to do. All i ever want to do now is sleep, and i literally have no time for studying. But I guess it's just the world's way of punishing me for being so ignorant earlier on (asshole).
Well there is my 2 cents (2.55 AUD). I don't know what i tried to accomplish by writing this, but there are my thoughts.
We were different because our mothers dressed us funny, or because we were too shy to approach people, or because of some other insecurity issue.
Indeed many of us have outperformed the A table bunch in the real world, but I can introduce you to as many D table failures, as I can A table failures.
I suggest you are consoling yourself by implying you were smarter than the popular people. Bah Humbug.
We all want to be good at something or, rather, we all want to better than *other* people at something. If you're lucky enough and work hard enough to discover a 'calling' (call it compelling curiosity about *something* [and it needn't be academic]) then you'll soon find yourself pulling ahead of the people who cruise through things with nary a moment of anger, excitement, commitment, or any other meaningful emotion.
So let's say that you're lazy and, every day, you have to confront a group of people who are clearly better at you in some area what are you going to do? Because every day you're reminded of how you're not as good at 'x' as persons 'a', 'b', and 'c'. And there's no escape. You can't quit your job or meet your friends at the bar to complain about your co-workers.
You *could* work hard... and believe it or not, the jocks actually work really hard at being the best football/hockey/whatever player they can be. And your nerds work hard at academics. So if you're in the middle of all of this you could: 1) try to beat the jocks at sports; or 2) try to beat the nerds at academics. But it would all be a lot less work if you just skip to the part where you beat up on the nerds: they won't usually fight back and you'll feel better because you've beat them at *something*... without too much effort.
The hilarious thing I get from going to HS reunions (I've been to a total of three in nearly twenty years, mostly out of anthropological curiousity) is that the people who made my life unpleasant (though not nearly as bad as some of what's reported here) are pretty much the same as they were then. They haven't usually changed: live in the same town, act the same way, hang out with the same people, do the pretty much the same things... and all I can tell you is that at thirty-five that is well and truly sad.
Think about it: what kind of sane person (or interesting person for that matter) wants to spend the next sixty years of their life saying: high school was the *best*! If you peaked in high-school then you peaked about fifty years too early and are in for a seriously crappy rest-of-your-life. With an open mind and a passion, each year gets better and better in completely unexpected ways.
So it probably won't help, but I wish that in high school I'd had as a mantra the words: low stakes, low stakes, low stakes...
Maybe take up a hobby or interest that gets you dealing with adults (preferably ones who have interesting jobs and live in a different neighbourhood) and you'll probably see at least a tiny little bit of the same cattiness (we're all social creatures) but you'll notice that people with *real* interests and a big picture view of the world don't get too upset, and neither should you.
The biggest surprise, I think, is that you never realize how many people in junior or senior high feel that they're outsiders, to one extent or another. Maybe it's because, other than comparing yourself with the "in" group, you forget to look at all the others.
Also, I did know two guys, one in high school and one in college, who were both very smart and very popular. I think it's because they combined intelligence, charisma, social ability, athletic ability, and good looks.
Personal question, how old were you when you wrote this and why did you decide to?
I guess I'm pretty much a nerd but I wouldn't say I wasn't popular.
I'm just going to 8th grade and I'll probally remember this till high school. I'll look back at it because I know I will want to be popular proabally in high school but I have to tell myself, would I rather be smart or would I give everything up just to be popular. Even though it might sound tempting I would hate to give up friends that actually like me for who I am and giving up being smart, well thats just dumb...
The one thing to master in this world is love. There is nothing greater, stronger, healthier, full of everything you need, than love.
Many people reading this, and get it probably never thought about this before. So, you have been living for something else, and that is OK. God wants to forgive you. Forgiveness comes through belief in Jesus.
If you are turned off by that name, as I was once, you should find out the truth for yourself before you laugh at it.
Take a Bible, read the book of John and think about it.
Grace to you
Thanks for your reply-comment. Please allow me to answer your questions.
I customized that comment just for this article. Also, I gain no money for writing that.
You seemed to like what Anna wrote above, where people were respecting each other and helping each other. If I am not mistaken, if the students in America followed the simple rule of loving each other, as primitive that may sound, what Anna was talking about would automatically happen.
Seek the truth, and the truth will set you free.
Grace to you
Thank you for your comment.
I am not sure if that is what isolateme meant, and I am not sure how you are sure, in partiality, (that) that is what they meant.
I do not see why loving each other would not work to solve the social "paradigm" of different groups of people who do not respect each other.
I mentioned the Bible for those who read what I wrote and would like to know more. However, I do not see how a statement of "loving each other" immediately means religion. Though, it did seem to you, so this might be some realization for you.
The Bible was designed to address all problems of the world and everyone in it. In fact, the entire Bible is about love. The reason you do not know this is because you do not really know the Bible and you also do not have a relationship with God.
I believe this, based on your comment. You can start to change your mind by having a read with your heart instead of analyzing the Bible with the "forefront of your mind."
Grace to you
They have Bill Gates as an example. It's a slightly different world than when I graduated from high school in 1982. If you want a lift, watch Napoleon Dynamnite. Stick with it even if the movie seems silly at first. The kids who were popular in school just don't get it. Everyone else gets the movie!!
Plus nerddom doesn't distribute simmetrically. In my Engineering class there were half a dozen girls for almost a hundred guys.
Having grown up in Scandinavia, I recognize an awful lot of what, you are writing from own experience. I, too, wish I could go back and tell my 14-year-old self, what I know now. Even if I'm not sure, I would have believed it: That I would grow up, find like-minded friends, go live with a lovely nerd, who actually likes my nerdiness, get a job that makes great sense to me and - be happy. That I shouldn't really have to mourn the fact, that I would never fit into that, which back then seemed to be the only real world.
I think, what might really have helped back then, is if somehow, someone could have just introduced me to some more nerds - of any age - to make me see, that I really didn't have to feel so alone. I don't know, how this need could have been explained to me back then (seeing, that I really didn't like to be identified as a nerd in the first place), but it might have prolonged my life with several years. As it is, it didn't really kick off until I was about 19...
Regards.
I think teachers should be given the chance to be more than just wardens; part of the reason they often don´t give more of themselves is economic as we know, especially in public schools.
I myself was a ´freak´ I suppose but today I am grateful for having maintained my independence. I achieved my goals, and it wasn´t because I knew it would pay off, but because I reached a point I didn´t care anymore.
If kids were given the chance to embrace themselves as they are and taught confidence, maybe they would be more sure of themselves, thus decreasing the need of proving themselves better than the rest. It starts in childhood, by complimenting a child for little things as well as big things is a good start. Self-confidence is the key to success and maybe the first step toward a better academic environment for kids of all ages.
Nerds are picked on not because they are smart but because they often lack the other attributes it needs to be popular - good looks, confidence and being funny/witty. Nerds put all their efforts into studying and don't see the bigger picture - i.e getting good grades isn't the be all and end all. To be popular, you need to know how to brighten up other people's day not how to factorise an equation. And whilst it might seem stupid (esp to nerds) to spend an hour on hair and make up, humans are genetically programmed to respond positively to pleasing aesthetics so scientifically speaking, the good looking kids are going to be more popular. In sum, being smart doesn't hinder or help one's popularity but it does usually hinder the development of other attributes needed to be popular.
Therefore, my personal view is that if nerds' priorities were not so blinkered and focused on other achievements outside of grades, they too can be just as popular.
I was a nerd - who did desperately believe I wanted to be popular - but you are right, I never did put my heart into it like I put my heart into reading Pygmalion or studying the lines in the school play. LOL. Nor would I have honestly traded my IQ for popularity. Not then. Maybe in retrospect, but not then.
And it is interesting that the smartest kids aren't the most ridiculed in every country - far from it. That is a pretty British thing, actually.
It's safe to say that anyone who comes through here is most likely nerdy enough to be familiar with Spider-Man. We all know and understand that with great power comes great responsibility. Thing it, it works both ways. With great responsibility comes great power. It's like a balance scale, or an algebraic formula: the two sides have to be equal, and this is intuitively obvious to any well-developed mind.
"Adolescence" violates this basic psychological principle by adding social responsibility in large doses with no corresponding increase in rights (social power.) If adults wonder why teenagers act crazy, they ought to consider the way they drive them to insanity by imposing upon them violations of the fundamental principles of the human psyche.
I do wonder if high school now has become a little less feral than what it seems to have been in your experience. I guess i will just have to see. Although if it isn't..then thanks for the heads up. I've never cared about popularity. If i make a new friend, then hey, that's great. I'd rather have a few friends that are amazing and trustworthy than a million 'friends' that only care about their social position. But then, at the same time, i am self-conscious of what those 'populars' (i just call them preps) think.
My friends call me a nerd because i really pay attention in class (not necessarily good grades), and LOVE reading. But yet they are 'nerds' too because they're interested in non-prep things and/or don't have the athletic abilities. Labels are really just thrown around these days. What a person really is, what they call themselves, and what others call them are all really different things.
I'm not sure what my point is with this, but thank you for your thoughts/insight/disaster. I'll keep it in mind this school year :]
Still, I really don't think it matters how smart you are so much as how you act. I hate people like Hermoine who raise their stupid hands for every single question they know the answer to. Keep your hand down and raise it when there's a hard question that no one else knows, damnit.
Now I'm conflicted and confused. Are normal high schools really still like this? Really? At my school, the smarter you are, the more respect you have from everyone, especially if you're modest (aka not annoying) about how smart you are.
Where I did notice this was in middle school... fewer opportunities to separate the nerds from the jocks.
Yes, but as you yourself noted, it really depends on your school. The one I went to was relatively small, and tended to focus on and admit smart students. My high school was a reasonably passable experience. I think I even enjoyed my last year.
But my sister's school and my friends' schools more resembled that of the essay above, at least from their stories.
The students create the society, so what they create depends on the students.
I still can't figure out how the world is cruel when everyone seems to be complaining about the same thing,.
It was in the "real world" that I first encountered people who actually spent a considerable amount of time and energy on their social ranking and/or approval from authority figures. Guess this is why I am out of nonprofits and back in high tech! A supervisor at my last nonprofit job asked, "Doesn't it make you feel good when people say they like your ideas?" I was blindsided.
"Actually, no, I said. I'd feel better if they jumped in and responded to my ideas with a really good argument against it."
I confess. Nerd.
Athleticism I easily replaced with smarts, I was naturally at least decent looking, and because I was smart and not nerd-looking, people from almost the entire spectrum of popularity was willing to talk to me, mostly for math help, but at least a couple from all the levels I stayed in contact with as loose friends.
I was never fully part of the in-crowd, though, as part of it involved pretended to be adults (Parties, too much makeup on the girls, alcohol, etc), without understanding what it meant, something I found completely pointless.
And before you try to say I could do it because of the school, ours had over 3000 people. 680 graduated in my class.
(Also, I've found "geek" to be the more appropriate term, as "nerd" is more and more associated with the 70s-style borked glasses and pocket protector, whereas geeks are more into gadgets and tech)
Because adults in schools don't favor smart people. They favor the obedient and popular. That's how they pre-train values to children. Then they wonder, that at the end America won't have enough scientists. Well, they have been driven to suicide some years ago. Where are our most brilliant people? In the graves, or - wounded by bullies - in the hospitals. Well done.
i was a nerd in junior high, but i'm in high school now and i'm not one now. I didnt know anyone beginning my freshman year and i've discovered that its not just "the popular clique" and the "unpopular clique"
the "popularity system" is so intricate and complicated that one can actually climb the social ladder, one just has to discover the mechanics to the popularity system and how everyone is "related" to one another and bridge off one person. All it takes it getting to know ONE popular person, and with time, you will become popular. That popular person will actually lead you up the social ladder unconciously and as you go deeper and deeper into the popularity system, the more you find out how much more complex it is than it appeared when you stood from the outside looking in.
whew.... thats highschool...
who likes runescape?
i mean who does?
k, im gone naw, and reply!