Wow. I am glad that I wasn't raised in an American school. In my high school (located in Scandinavia) we didn't seem to have this problem. Everyone socialised with everyone, you could strike up a conversation with anyone. Smart kids were envied and often asked for advice and help with homework.
I look at these American films where everyone is obsessed with prom and I think to myself.. the media and film industry is brainwashing these children. If they weren't constantly showed these materials they probably wouldn't have this obsession.
My advice - move to Europe.
isolateme
· 3 months ago
You lucky s.o.b......
Miriam
· 4 months ago
Dear author, having been a nerd for all my school time I've seen everything you described here but I could never explain the why. Meanwhile I've learned a lot about social psychology and educational science but I've never managed to meet someone who could rationalize to me the phenomenon of nerds in such a complete way you did in this essay. Thank you so much! I really adore you for it. Please allow me to quote extracts from it on any ocasion! Lots of Love, Miriam from Germany
P.S. Be reassured that nerds are not only an american phenomenon. They exist in Europe too.
bluesky
· 9 months ago
This article helped me more than anyting else I have been looking for since past six months. People call me nerds all the time, especially those I thought were supposedly my friends. They called me teachers' pet and even nominated me in the yearbook for that. When I found myself into this covoluted maze trying ot gasp onto the mediocrity of the social life, i started devaulate my education and tried to be more popular by wearing new clothes and buying new shoes. This was totally a WRONG idea. My GPA has dropped due to my poor participation in classroom and lack of doing my homeworks. I have been working streneously for the past three years and being a valedictorian, I felt as if I earned nothing, only contept and mouthful of ridicules. However, this article had changed my life as I read it last night. Many of my past time stories storngly corelates what the author writes and it solved the knot that was entangled into my mind for such a long time. My suggesstions are to the nerds, are that never associate yourselves with the wrong crowds but consider yourself as smart by ignoring others and infact dont lose self-esteem and be yourself. At the end of the day, its you who will have to walk the road not them who are ridiculing your appearance or your lack of social participation in the lunchrooms. Now, after reading the article I feel that nothing has helped me better than these paragraphs the author wrote. I have learnt lesson, and others shoudl learn it as well. Thanks for your contribution. I believe it will help others just like me.
braktos
· 9 months ago
Blam, I've been suspecting this kind of thing for a while. Yesterday, I got told to shut up by this asshole who talks a lot and is a big athletic idiot. I hadn'y even talked 25% of his words and I got told to shut up. There has to be a rebellion, the top extroverts must be killed. The hyposrisy is that a smart kid who can't do the same thing as the dumb kid. I hate that kind of BS. It's the same as letting a person with an IQ of 80 pass gas anywhere just because he's extroverted and popular, yet the engineer who creates a monumental bridge has to fart in a designated zone (His own home) just because he isn't a sports star. When I went to Italy, there were no kids in the city. I only saw about 4 kids the entire time I was there, seriously, and I was there for a month. It was all either 40 year olds or college students. I've never seen a childless couple in the suburbs, the author is correct. The enitire list suburban somplexes of the world are meant to make kids. There's nothing in suburbia asides from houses, forest paths (if you're lucky), more houses, a community pool, which is run by lifeguards who are really just big kids that still have all the problems of regular kids. I'm a smart kid, I'm 15 and am taking an AP class. I'm passing with an 84%, and I don;t see how knowing how to graph a parabola helps you with a real job. Adults use computers for everything. I could go on and on, but I gotta stop now.
Dude
· 8 months ago
Hey guys time goes on but concept remains now I'm twice your age and guess what even if you don't wear specs and look good as soon as people know your smarter they 1st wanna kill you(if the right given) 2nd they wanna get read of you 3rdif they cant do the above mentioned and you continue to read they're thoughts they evade you or talk shit behind your back
don't want to be your friend for sure.
joe
· 9 months ago
I absolutley love how tasteful and elegant the nerds are writing their comments, and then you will see one like " LOL, fuck u nerds, im totalie smary AND popular. lol rofl fuck lol peace" Really, how counter-productive can you be?
Kyle
· 6 months ago
YA.... I am like super smart, w/ a high IQ and Im in 3 AP's rite now, but I dont talk super formal like u guys do. Not ridiculing, just pointing it out. I guess what I mean is, I am a smart guy, who is semi-normal, but I prefer to act on my powerful emotions, from all the hormones. YET, I AM STILL A NERD!!!!! I think it is impossible to get ahead in the system. Essentially, people like u and me are years, maybe even a decade ahead of the humor, interests, and other such areas of life of the jocks. It is this, the mind of an adult in the body of a teenager, with other teenagers with the minds of teenagers, that makes life so shitty.
Robin
· 9 months ago
I read this a couple of years ago when things were truly horrible for my son. They have mellowed a bit but still not great. I wish there were points given for each time I said YES to a point in this essay. Obviously, my teenage years are ancient history, but the facts weren't any different a few decades earlier. Please extend my gratitude to the author. A Mom and Old Nerd :-)
Doesntmatter
· 9 months ago
I thank you for sharing this.
sarahwalker
· 9 months ago
ha ha! about time someone wrote something positive about being a nerd. this article was really enlightening, and offers fresh ideas.
Element99
· 9 months ago
Sadly, this article is also accurate in describing the breakdown that occurs in adult workplaces in the absence of strong leadership and tangible goals. In other words, the problem doesn't go away (but it becomes much easier to leave).
Success of any organizational structure relies on three pillars: 1) adequate resources; 2) strong, responsible leadership; 3) worthwhile goals.
In the absence of these three pillars, things start to degenerate quickly.
cody
· 2 years ago
Honestly Marco, you are oblivious. First of all, you obviously aren't one of the nerds or "smarter popular people" at your school. You use "your" instead of "you're", and "there" instead of "their". "Cause"... what is this, third grade? I am a nerd, take multiple AP classes, and am on varsity in sports; however, this does not change the fact that I am a nerd. The activeness in extracurricular activities does not decide who is a nerd...being more active just gives us more time to be mocked. The popular teenagers at my school only dabble in AP classes...two if they wish to be "daring". Having only two AP classes and A- in everything is incredibly less challenging than six AP classes with 98% in everything. I realize what you are. You are neither the nerd nor the "smart" popular teenagar. You are the middle-class rank that is in the lower fiftieth percentile, tearing down those below you in the social hierarchy.
tiffany
· 2 years ago
the first thing i thought about when i read your comment was 1 corinthians 8:2 (And if any man think that he knoweth anything, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.)
Benthenerd
· 1 year ago
Hi, i am 14 (slap bang in the middle of my nadir) and i suppose i am a nerd (thats why i am typing this). I totally agree with your essay. I don't get bullied or anything, but life is a miserable peice of crap. Any effort to end up on the class A canteen table will be completly useless in the real world. So will doing well in tests or shining teachers apples. Whatever effort i make in any direction is pointless. The only thing to do is be bored, and wait it out. Another 3 years, it will drive me crazy. Anyway thats my inside opinion.
On a more positive note you would think succesfull adults (who were once nerds)would atempt to change the system. I live in England and all i ever hear from them is "Try your best, don't do drugs... E.T.C". None of it means anything.
From an economic point of view it would be a great advantage to ensure that supernerds get the best and quickest education possible, then throw them into the real world to exel at what they do. As for the dumber ones they would get almost no education and spend the rest of their lives doing the manual jobs that are currently reserved for teenagers. They could form a perfect society where everyone has his/her place.
B. Cooke
· 1 year ago
Hi, I totally stumbled upon this by accident (did you know that if you google "i have a very good girl, but sometimes she is not so good... if you know what i mean" this is the third result?) when I was trying to figure out what song the lyrics in a friend's msn name was from. I'm glad I did though, it was interesting to read. I agree with a lot (albeit not all) of what you said. I'm with you 100% on the public school system being awful and boring, a real waste of time, truly a place to hold kids until they're old enough to do something worth while... Nevermind the fact that the students aren't being taught anything useful. I also agree with you on the freaks. They do have a magical way of being baked out of their and scoring higher on a test than most of the class. The pot does make a bond. You are incredibly bitter in this though. I'm sure you realize that. Really though, there were no "good" popular kids at your school? I have to admit, I am in high school now and I am considered to be popular (class president, yearbook editor, etc., etc.) but I have never referred to myself as a "popular" kid although I do understand it is true (others have called me that awful "P" word). Although I would sit at an "A" table at your junior high school, I don't think I am at all how you described these popular kids to be. I am smart myself, I do well in my classes and tutor on weekends. I talk to everyone, not just the football team. For example, last weekend I hung out with the group you would call "freaks" and blazed... This weekend, I went to a "cool kid" party which got broken up by the cops, and the next night I went to the movies with the kids in my calculus class. Sersiouly, I had a great time with each of those groups, and I'm happy that I'm able to mix with them all. Really though, I think you should be telling these so called "nerds" to give the "popular" kids a chance... they are not so bad once you decide to stop resenting them.
mikedilv
· 1 year ago
I was always lost in the group between the nerds and the popular kids. At age 29, I put myself in the best physical condition of my life. The most beautiful women took an interest in me and came from at all sides. I can't remember what happened, but at one point I stopped exercising, my physique changed and the women stopped approaching me. I was the same guy but now I wasn't good enough? It made me realize their interest was never really about who I was inside. I was angry inside. I had worked very hard for 30 years by that time to be who I was and that wasn't good enough? My appraised value was based on sex appeal? Where would my life have gone if I had stuck with that group? Say I had married, had children and then cut back on my exercise? Would I have experienced a loss of peer friendships? Would my wife be faithful and still content with our marriage? Now, concerning education. Popularity ranks pretty low with the ability to make a positive impact in the lives of others. Granted there is the ability to get people's attention, exercise compassion, and provide some positive contribution. However, the more intelligence you and I can acquire, the greater impact we can have in the lives of others. A doctor can treat cancer. A lawyer can help people who have been wronged or injured. A scientist can create antibiotics. Popularity at the highest levels cannot do any of those things. People who make a positive difference will never be lonely, in my opinion. In my opinion, there are those who have passed on and still want to make a positive difference in our lives and are willing to be our silent, invisible, tutors in our education and career in making a positive impact in the lives of others. Close your eyes when you get frustrated with school and work and see if the words "Do it for others" don't come to mind and inspire you to sit back down and resume your work at a new level and possibly with a clear understanding of what you just struggled with moments ago. THAT is an incredible experience. That is one that will never be unfaithful, dramatic, etc. It is one that will always be positive. One from an intelligence that has a much larger picture of life and the world we live in and can best lead you to whatever positive desires you have, even if it is popularity. The only question you might be presented with is "What will you do with it? Will you use it for to make a positive impact?"
mikedilv
· 1 year ago
btw, forgot to comment on "Why would I want to make a difference in the lives of people who treat me poorly?" Look at society as a whole. There are over a billion people estimated to be on the earth. They don't all dislike you. Once you have your college degree, they will want and need you for your product and services. They will be dependent on you. In college, when they struggle with calculus, they will be in the math tutor center seeking your help, when their boyfriend(s) or girlfriend(s) are unable or do not have time. Long story short, if being a nerd means preferring to spend your time and money in the pursuit of intelligence than a muscular physique, expensive cars and clothing, and expensive haircuts, then be a nerd! Only 2-3 months ago I was an entertainment manager at a celebrity hotspot in Las Vegas. Every week we had celebrities and the "popular crowd." I wore $2000 suits, $200-300 ties, $200-$350 belts, $200 shirts, $200 jeans. I grew tired of it! I watched people work 2 or more jobs or work >40hrs/wk to afford to dress like that and spend $50-$200,000 on drinks and gratuity. (Yes, a particular individual would come in and spend $100k to $200k just on drinks for himself and anyone charismatic person who would drink with him) Now, I am a student at the University of Utah majoring in Mathematics and Mechanical Engineering. I wear cowboy boots, Wrangler jeans, $15 Walmart button down Wrangler brand shirts, and a John Deere hat. In my free time, I go for walks in wild land or at an equestrian park. Most of my time is spent in the math library at the university, however. My shirt pocket is always full of 3x5 cards, a mini recorder, and 2 pens. I don't fit in. But when I see people judge me, I laugh inside as I think how it would be different if I was back in my suit or $1000 jacket and $200 jeans. I laugh at how how much he or she has to learn about what is "real" in life and as to what is incredible. For me, what is real is being who YOU are and not what others think you should be. For me, that is the outdoors, horses, dogs, agriculture, and the pursuit of intelligence. If I ever remarry, I know I will be loved from the beginning for who I am and not how I look at the moment. That makes for a much more rewarding and secure relationship = what the popular kids are wanting but trying to get via charisma. Anyway, keep your chin up. You rule! If I can be of any further help, just ask.
fierymerengue
· 1 year ago
Wow...you definitely know a lot about the real world. Alright, I'm a teen that is going to be a freshman in high school pretty soon. All I really want is a guy best friend that I can relate with, someone real...not some sports- oriented group that just cares about girls, getting laid, or ostracizing nerds who aren't like them. How do I get that? The reason is, I think there's this person that has the potential to be a great friend of mine. But he has his own basketball/baseball crew, and I keep reminding myself I am not like him. Yet, I want to be around him. If you knew how much I wanted to be like a teenager right now, you would get it. How the hell do I beat the system? That's what I want to know. What is the single thing that will get you a bulls-eye, true relationship?
mikedilv
· 1 year ago
re: "How do I get a guy best friend that is real?" All my female best friends have been girls I was attracted to, flirted with, but could never get a first date with. They would do things with me, but would say "Let's definitely go to the movie, but I just need another really good friend right now. Cool?" They would also take an interest in my favorite interests. I was really into skateboarding in high school. My female friends never skated, but they at least pretended to be entertained by it :)
But let’s say he isn’t interested in you, even if you take an interest in his basketball. I want you to then remember ice cream. Hehe. What I mean is I like ice cream with a bit of vanilla, chocolate swirl, chocolate covered peanuts, and peanut butter. I know guys who prefer Rocky Road, Mint Chocolate Chip, Oreo, Pralines n’ Cream, etc. Baskin and Robbins alone has 31 flavors! Now, have you ever ordered your favorite ice cream and looked at a friend’s and said “Hmm, that looks good, can I try it?” You then try it say “Wow! That is good. I wish I had gotten that one :(.”
Here is the first point. Every guy out there (and girl, for the guys) is like an ice cream flavor. You see what’s in the case, but until you have experienced as many flavors as possible, you have no idea which is your favorite! All you can do is guess and make assumptions. So, my first recommendation is to not set your heart on a single guy until you have dated numerous types of guys.
Second point, you are a flavor too and guys have no idea what they want either. They can look in the case and make a best guess, but until they have tried numerous flavors they have no idea which is their favorite. For guys, we have an additional complication. Our biological clock says “It’s time to reproduce, even if accidentally.” That really messes up our thinking skills, but the level of intensity varies from guy to guy.
Realize too that if you have to act or dress in a different manner to get a guy, it is not worth it. To get a “real” relationship and/or friendship, you have to be you 100% from the very beginning. How long will that take? It wasn't until I was 23 and wow did I have an incredible marriage! Every other girlfriend before that, from age 12, was just a source of good times, followed by anxiety , followed by heartache, since I always wanted to go steady and not have open dating relationships. The lack of open dating was also the cause of my divorce. I had no idea what other flavors were out there and wondered if I had made the best choice. Now, 10 years later, I am saddened that to this day, I have yet to find another woman of her caliber who loves me in return like she did. I hope this all helps.
mikedilv
· 1 year ago
:) For those who say "I can't get the friends or the dates." I assure you, when you get to a university (not a community college), you will! It will be the first time you are in a peer environment where people are there for an education. At universities, intelligence is "in." Granted, there are the pretty people too, but they usually don't make it past the first year. Those who do, have a tremendous amount of respect for you, as you have proven you are just as tough if not tougher than they are in the academic challenges that their pretty peers failed at their first year. YOU will be the idols. When you earn your masters degree, the bachelor degree holders will be in awe at your level of comprehension as you will be in awe at the level of comprehension of the PhDs in your field.
fierymerengue
· 1 year ago
mikedilv...thanks a lot. Sometimes I feel different from other people (actually a lot), but now I feel that there's more out there for me. In regards to ice cream, you are right! Why should I stick around for vanilla and strawberry when New York Super Fudge Chunk could be around the corner? Lol.
I also think that--when I get old enough, I haven't started dating yet--I'll have open dating. I should experience it all, not set my sight on one prospective person.
Thanks a lot, again.
mikedilv
· 1 year ago
Hopefully we help people who are looking for answers, due to being picked on in school. K-12 kids are ruthless. Community College is a little better. University students rock! The campus and student body are FAR too big to develop any "cool kid" "nerd kid" groups. There, everyone is just a student, even the professors, and range in age from 18 to 88 or older. The bullies soon realize they are powerless without their bully peers and that they look absolutely immature if they attempt to mock anyone. People will look at them as if to say "Are you serious? Did you just mock that guy? What, are you 5?" And like I said, university campuses are far too big for anyone to even take a moment to think someone is a nerd.
A
· 6 months ago
mikedilv, your idea that basically everyone in university is happy and fits in is a wrong one. I'm not trying to deflate anyone's hopes but the vast majority of people in college are not good looking. So even if most people in university "get dates", it's not necessarily what you imagine it to be.
john
· 1 year ago
Great Article, but who is the author so that credit can be given where it is due?
Robert
· 1 year ago
That was a hell of an essay there.... Well thought out. I had already come to many of these conclusions but never in such a cohesive manner. Your essay, as I already said, is fantastic.... Why don't you write a book?
shane
· 2 years ago
Hey, I just typed why into google and this came up, im definatly very glad I read it, although I cannot fully relate to it.
I am from Australia and currently in Year 10, and in my school it seems that the most popular people are infact smart people. Maybe they use their intelligence to realise what it takes to become popular, or maybe they are just multi talented and naturally popular (yes, naturally popular, it is possible).
Thanks for the great essay.
~Rosygirls92~
· 2 years ago
I'm in total agreement with you Shane. Funnily enough.. I'm also in year 10 attending a selective school. The most popular kids there are actually the most nerdist ones while the good-looking ones come second. Maybe it's because of our society or our teachers. Either way the smart factor is a huge boost in the popularity scale. -This essay was great. I'd love to read more of your work!!
um.....i..........don't know what to say.......................................... wait! I got something.....um..........STOP RAMBLING ON! that felt good..................
Michael
· 2 years ago
I'm not sure how to comment on this essay as I come from England and our school way of life now and back when I attended was and still is much different to that of the USA. You have popular kids but there is no definitive line between popular and unpopular with bullying being a very rare thing in high schools today. I have never heard of anyone commited suicide or contemplating it as a result of school life. At parties over here there is a mixture of popular and your normals but by popular I don't mean they are special or sporting heroes just socially more adept and charisma. At school I was never a popular kid but over here its not such a big thing to the extent of having it constantly on your mind night and day. Nowadays I've heard stories that popular kids just sit on benches chatting or playing the odd game of football (soccer) at lunch picking on anyone but nothing major and just for that one minute of the day. Schools in England involve 85% of school children being socially capable of holding a conversation on their own and children in schools from very different backgrounds get on with everyone else on the school and over here you are liked for yourself and not whether you are the soccer team etc.
Much more to say on the matter so keep your eyes peeled.
Jess
· 2 years ago
I'm actually not in agreement with your arguement, where I am and in many schools I've been too there are popular students who are smart and slightly less smart unpopular kids...and it wasnt a minority either...on average I am fairly good at school and fairly *without meaning to brag but...* "popular"...it isn't fair to sterotype people...its unfair and unjust...and its really long to read =P
James
· 2 years ago
i like it. this jess person says she is in disagreement, but that is because many people have different situations in life. obviosly school is going to be different for all of us, and it seemed like you were just stating the worst of situation. i liked it though, it helped me look at my high school life right now and see how what you described is still partly true.
Jay
· 2 years ago
Comments like "stop rambling on" or "it's so long to read" are meaningless and should be cast aside. I was something of a "nerd" (though not totally an outcast) in high school and found this essay to be almost 100% spot on. But whether you agree or disagree how long it took you to read it is really irrelevant.
Reader
· 1 year ago
Darn! The Cliff's Notes summary isn't out yet. ;)
Moz
· 2 years ago
I enjoyed your essay. I would say, though, that you missed a point regarding school hierarchies. The problem lies in the pubertal transition to adulthood for us monkeys. Nothing aggravates a physically adult twelve year old more than being put in his place intellectually by a tiny, squeaky-voiced child (albeit of the same age). Once the first few kickings for being "teacher's pet" have been handed out, the rest of school is pretty much predetermined. Large, violent - will excel at sports, and therefore will spend a lot of time doing sports, rather than reading. Small, weedy - will never be picked for anything, and will therefore have lots of free time to read and write, and do Jenkins' homework for him - deliberately incorrectly, because the fear of Jenkins' violence is always trumped by the immense satisfaction of seeing Jenkins transferred to a remedial class. (And subsequently, the ability to ask Jenkins to super-size my meal).
If I had my time at school again, I'd be a nerd again. Teenage girls are immensely boring.
Brian
· 1 year ago
"Teenage girls are boring"? HA HA yet another geek who failed to get a date! The point of teen girls isn't to be interesting or boring, the point is that they are at the height of beauty, only surpassed by freshman girls. And "will have lots of free time to read and write" ?? You act as if reading is something to kill time with, instead of something with which to increase the scope of your world. If you were a nerd, you couldn't have been a very smart one.
TW
· 2 years ago
You have a mix of both good valid points with a couple of simplistic bad ones. It is tribalism but intelligence is not the defining variable. I have know very smart populars and some very dumb nerds. The arrogance of the nerd tribe to assume that it's about smarts is one of the reasons why they get disdain even in the adult world, just behind their backs after they trouble shoot the office mainframe instead of to their face. It comforts them by thinking it's envy of their brains and that illusion gets them through the day. Nerds just have very specific attributes that give them high reward for low effort in specialized fields. They do not have many social skills because they do not require them. The survival fire is not under their buts enough to motivate them into the effort of it. Technology has created a niche they can be very comfortably successful in. School is a primitive emulation of the adult social politics. It gets more subtle and refined as we get older but it never goes away. Every one chooses whether they realize it or not that they take the path of most reward for least effort optimizing their talents and skills. They go where the results are. In the wheat from chaff process over the long term many nerds get left by the wayside as much as dumb jocks, empty beauties and shallow populars do. And it is a given that the nerd tribe breaks down into sub groups with their own status ranks.
Perseustrue
· 2 years ago
Intelligence may not have been the defining variable for you. Paul notes that the A-C,E tables were defined by other qualities (conformism, athleticism, nihilism, and yes wealth).
School is a 'limited" emulation of adult social politics. In this Paul is exactly right. In the real world the A through D tables are so large you can choose to almost exclusively associate with the type of people you prefered in school. When you feel uncomfortable as an adult it is because you have been forced to deal with people you did not like in school.
Steve
· 2 years ago
I live in a far-away country in Europe, so in the school that I graduated from some details were slightly different, as is to be expected in another country with another language, etc. Nevertheless, when reading this article I felt as if I were, mutatis mutandis, reading about my own school. Excellent insights.
Ally
· 2 years ago
I can't say that I agree with you on this. At my school we don't really have much of a problem with that. Nearly everybody gets along, and the line between "popular" and "unpopular" isn't the same as being a "nerd" or just average. It's how you treat people. I have yet to meet a really nice, considerate person from my school that is considered unpopular. To tell you the truth, most of the popular people at my school are actually very smart. There are always the ones who think they're better than everybody else, but those people are generally the ones who are considered popular because they've got money. I am from from Canada, and maybe people are nicer in general, but not everybody is like that. I'm one of those kids who are somewhat popular, but not one of the elite group. I've never been picked on in my life, and I've never worked on being popular. People react to how you act towards them. If I was one of the rudest people around I would most definitely be shunned. Anybody would! You have a good argument though, and I think you did a good job of speaking your mind. It's a very good essay, I just don't agree with the point you are trying to make.
Taylor
· 2 years ago
I'm in an Australian high school, year 9, and I completely agree with you. Apart from being from another country, this is exactly how my school is - painful and pointless.
Chelsizzle
· 2 years ago
I'm very sorry you were thought as a nerd. I feel really bad for you actually. Im a sophmore in high school. And i make fun of all the nerds at our school all the time. But i don't care because im not one of them.
Perseustrue
· 2 years ago
What doesn't kill you makes you strong. Thank you for helping your future bosses learn this early.
Kyle T.
· 2 years ago
I'm a "nerd" i guess, but I study for no tests, but still manage to ace most, or at least pass all. Either way, the only few people who thought they were good enough to pick on me met my friendly nieghbor, the floor. The "popular" kids, were always real popular after they got their ass kicked during english class, or during P.E.
It's fun, because being the so called "nerd" and being small, also makes me immune to almost all punishment. "He started it, I defended myself, why would i try to fight someone twice my size?" and I'm off. Small people have more fighting experiences then you could ever image, not to mention the speed to back it up, and maybe not pure muscle compared to you, but in comparison to body size, they most likely have more then you.
Paperface
· 2 years ago
This was a great read. Very detailed and well thought out. I'd have to agree with many of your points but you also seemed to miss a few things. All and all, it was well thought out and probably better than any piece of writing I could ever produce. Thanks for this.
p.s. I think it's pretty funny reading all these high school kid's comments like, "I'm popular AND smart in my high school so your essay is wrong and I don't agree with it." It's not really about your or his experience through school, there's much much more to it than that.
Lisa
· 2 years ago
As a sophmore in highschool , this article was very well written
You could be smart and attractive/popular, however, that is one of the hardest roles to play and manage in highschool, because you want to maintain a balance without messing up anything on either side, unfortunately, at this point, popularity is more important for most people, although smart people won't be shunned, nerds/socially awkward people will be out of the circle.
One thing I think is the hardest for smart people is that they realize the system. They see through it when other people can't, they know thing other people can't relate to and that makes it all the more depressing when you realize you're among the few who's in the know about how pointless school is at times but you can't beat the system. Especially the social pressure which before you and everyone else was numb to but then you see how pointless and consuming it is and yet no one ever questions it.
It's just a big, fake circle with no sense of reality, and I feel I'm just walking in an infinite loop until I graduate, the good thing is seeing kids who you know if they stick it out for a few more years, the roles will be dramatically reversed.
They always tell us that the real world is alot more harsher, scarier and worse than school. I don't think so.
Nakeisha
· 2 years ago
I live in Greece. I go to the High school.Here the nerds are treated badly,but they have no real problem with anybody.The ones who face an earthy inferno everyday are the outlandish,weird-looking ones,the gay's,the non-stylish ones and the people who dress goth and emo. I am facing many problems,because of my Asian descent and the distinctive way of dressing and walking.
Anonymous
· 2 years ago
I'm a girl in an English Secondary school. I found your article spot on for myself, though I don't get picked on by many guys because I'm a girl, and other girls are either afraid of me, my friend, or don't care less. I hope it stays that way. It also helps that I'm tall, but I think I've stopped growing now. Thanks for the information. Knowing this from somebody who's been through that to the real world, I can walk through the school social scenes with confidence that it won't affect me in the real world, although I've always known that, sort of consciously. You keep saying that such barbaric situations are "back then" - but it's still like that, and I doubt it'll change any time soon.
Jason
· 2 years ago
This is one of the most clear, valuable indictments of our public schools that I have ever had the privilege of reading. Thank you for writing it, and I hope to spread this, and hopefully in the long run bring about change (I've been thinking about it for years).
Just as a ray of hope, there are private schools that are not as empty, and provide structure and growth for the students enrolled there. If we could simply model public schools on successful private schools, we would be well on the way to remedying the situation you have so ably described.
jodie
· 2 years ago
Popularity has nothing to do with our lives in the future. Usually those who are popular at school end up in crappy jobs, on the street, involved in drugs, whatever. What we need to remember is that one day we could be working for that nerd that you bagged out all the way through their schooling!!! Give them a break people!!! These poeple could save our lives one day, but all you have done is destroy their child hood!!!
Jessica
· 2 years ago
I'M FROM AUSTRALIA!!!!! In my schhol nerds are people who talk about work n nothing else n they dont takl about new trends and new music etc But being smart is not bad at all as long as u can sosialise and go with the flow. I'm reaally smart in maths, in writing stories in art and in drama and in sport and I have never been called a nerd. I'm just normal among my friend and I fit in well. Overall I wreckon u can be smart n kool and that its reaally easy.hOPE PEOPLE CAN REPLY TO DIS!
anon
· 2 years ago
i totally agree wid u on dat 1 @ mi skool im sorta in da middle but there r still major populartity issues
pete
· 2 years ago
in my school in the UK i used to be a nerd. i thought it was the uncool place to be, but life was still good. personally i belive at that time i had no self confidece and i admit, i didn't care. now only a few mounths on, i have risen considerably on the popularity scale. i realise that the only reason i got laughed at, was that i was the only person some people cood laugh at, so i belive they were in a worse place than i was. i wasn't trying and didn't care about failing,. they tried too hard, and ended up with people thinking they were an idiot, whereas everyone just thought i was a geek
Kelly
· 2 years ago
This essay is brilliant. It sounds really familiar and helps a lot- thank you! It's a fake and superficial world; high school, yet people keep repeating that it's supposed to be "the best time of your life". It may be a very important time, but it doesn't make it easier. It's absolute hell sometimes.
Jonathon
· 2 years ago
This is so so true. And I think it still holds today, even if you don't overly.
Nerd
· 2 years ago
I cannot believe that at last I have found someone who shares my views.
William
· 2 years ago
Interesting article, but I do have a couple of bones to pick.
I'm not sure how I feel about the dismissive tone about popular stuff being "dumb"-- while it wasn't academic in nature, surely, my "quest for popularity" was anything but stupid, I think. I started out as a nerd (but my school was in Canada, which I am learning makes it weird-- there was a provincial instead of local hierarchy, most schools had a 'magnet'-- mine was gifted kids and an auto shop, while down the road was high-performance athletes, and another had art/drama, and another was for kids who struggled with school... you get the idea. They all still had the regular, 'local' kids, but then a huge displaced chunk of kids coming from across the city for one specific thing. But I digress) and worked my way up. I mostly did this by getting really nerdy about 'cool' things-- music, comedy, things like that. I still played plenty of video games, but I was listening to an amazing band that nobody at school would hear of for months. People would occasionally attempt to ostracize me or tease me, but I'd become confident enough that I was able to brush them off like I meant it (having a good zinger comes in very handy for this). Hell, I got a pair of stylish glasses in my junior year and some clothes that didn't look like they were from a department store (in retrospect, they probably WERE from a department store) and ended up dating one of the most sought-after girls at school! Then again, I was lucky in that nerdiness was kind of 'cool' in the early 2000s. I just exploited that fact really, really well.
That kind of leads me into my next point, which is that nerdiness is becoming chic. Yeah, we've heard it a million times, for sure. But I remember my last year of high school as virtually run by former nerds-- there was my friend M, who was the only kid our grade wearing punk shirts to school in grade 9 and was made fun of for his weight throughout, who became incredibly charming and school president in his last year. There was me, who talked about final fantasy and wore sweatpants, but at some point got a clue and turned into the hilarious guy everyone wanted to hang out with on breaks. My friend G was, well, one of my best friends, and he grew about 6 inches one summer and stopped talking funny and started looking pretty good, so he was a shoe-in.
I forget where I was going with this. Oh yeah... my point: there were kids who were nerds and freaks at the beginning of school who became the 'cool' kids by the end of school. It wasn't because they sold out and picked on other people; it was because they realized that the two important aspects of popularity are mass appeal and confidence. Once you realize the first, you recognize that virtually everyone has the potential to have mass appeal-- if you're not sporty, you can be charming, or funny, or badass, or whatever else you can think of. And once you realize what you can exploit, the confidence follows. And if that kind of reasoning isn't nerdy enough for you, I'm not sure I know what nerd even means any more.
Ihatewilliam \/
· 2 years ago
Nice article. I was a nerd in school, but now I'm a lot richer than any of the football and lacrosse players. Honestly, getting through high school as a nerd is easy as long as you keep thinking that you will kick their ass in real life
Stereotypical Asian Nerd
· 2 years ago
Your article is very interesting. It has some very good points however, I believe that the nature of American Public Schools are changing for the better in respect to the nerd community. Even though I am a nerd, I am also a Navy brat (I moved frequently). As I began my Freshman year in High School, I was picked on often by the Seniors however, not nearly as much by people who were younger. Not only this, but after my Freshman year, it seemed as though being a nerd somehow came with popularity. I have no idea how, or why, but things seemed to be changing for the better. In fact, the social ineptitude seems to be deemed "cute" by girls. It seems as though the new generation has brought a new outlook and a new system. The lowest rank on the popularity scale seems to be the less intelligent.
Bullying still exists however, its not as bad as people who come from the preceding generation say it is. I'm a Senior this year, and from what I've seen nearly all of my fellow nerds have also seen little to none teasing or bullying. What seems to stay consistent is the very top of the spectrum. Kids who are rich, on the football team, or simply "hot" (as girls put it) continue to rule the school. Nerds, in their eyes, are simply losers.
someone
· 2 years ago
WOW, that was great! i am curently writing a college essay about popularity and you gave me a totaly different view! thanx
hey.
· 2 years ago
I think this article makes a lot of sense. I totally agree with everything it said and I just want to say that nerds shouldn't view themselves as nerds... because everyone needs to see themselves in a higher outlook. I see nothing wrong with nerds and actually enjoy their company a lot more than the 'popular kids.' I absolutely love this article, and it puts everything into perspective from the actual eye of someone from a public school. Thanks for writing this and just getting it out there.
Jim
· 2 years ago
I was a bully in school but I like nerds. The popular guys are usually dumb.
JT
· 2 years ago
Brilliant. I only wish I'd have read this a decade before, the following years wouldn't have seemed so bad.
Icelander
· 2 years ago
In a word, wow. I really liked this article. It showed me a view of teenage lives and social dividing that I not seen before. I'd like to write a whole lot more, but I will spare you from the boredom. I would however like to write about this article in one of my school assignments and I hope you don't mind.
help
· 2 years ago
opinionated type of essay
Tracy Cousins
· 2 years ago
why do you feel this way? were you a nerd or a popular kid in school, mybe you dont understand one side or the other.
Susanne
· 2 years ago
Amazing article. You touched on some of the undercurrents in my own high school where some of the popular kids WERE the smart kids, but they also were the kids who would go out drinking on the weekends. The "good" smart kids were definitely in a lower eschalon of popularity because we didn't get smashed at parties every week.
But also what you wrote confirmed our decision (our kids' decision, mostly) for our home education program. Our kids learn what will promote a good merge into adult culture. My oldest loves to write, so she writes. My oldest boy loves to create and plan and draw, so he creates and plans and draws. Yes, they have the typical academic courses, but as they teach themselves, they motivate themselves. I'm there to faciliate and guide their learning.
They also have the opportunity to join in a more adult world as they volunteer their time in possible work scenarios that may end up being their life's work. My sophomore daughter teaches other homeschooled kids, and she loves it; she may have found her future in education. She also volunteers for our town's newspaper, so journalism may be in her future also. Because of home education, she has the time to pursue her own interests as well as complete solid academic work including the study of Latin, her own choice.
When I taught at the university level, I could see some of the "nerds" coming out of their shells as they accessed a more adult world. Yes, the "popular" people still existed, but there were enough nerds around for them to join together and find their niche in university life. I hope that this phenomenon starts to unravel during the more independent college years, if not during the junior high and high school years themselves. It's just so sad to know that many children suffer needlessly this way. The damage must be immense.
Tracy Cousins
· 2 years ago
And the strange thing is, this nightmare scenario happens without any conscious malice, merely because of the shape of the situation.
This statement above made me upset, yes they do set out to do it on purpose, I was not the most smartest in school, but I certainly didnt have to work hard to get good grades, my problem was people thought I was weird. I hope one day I can find an article like yours to explain and relieve some stress for being the weird kid. It helped me a little but not a lot, I didnt have the oh so sad life of being in a suburb, most of my life was in the inner city hoods of beautiful california, and the downtown mess. I didnt have a mom that liked to dress her pretty daughter nice, and she was cruel and sick minded, and then came the other adults, then the kids, like I dont remember the kids hurting me that much, because the adults ripped me apart before they ever could. It was mostly the adults in my life that wanted me to have the pain of the nerds you spoke of, and the kids just followed along. My mother hated me, so my brothers did, then my brothers made other kids hate me, and now I see how such behavior could start, you let me know how bullies really think, sadly my biggest bully was my mom.
Thank you for your article, and I'm glad I did a little more healing.
John
· 2 years ago
In eastern Europe intelligence was considered a very good point and high class and so-called "nerds" usually were dumb and ugly as opposed to United States nerds. All the most popular people in EE were highly educated, smart and usually physically fit as well. Eve those who were in the weak side but smart were very popular. Well, except of a small group of dumb blondes, who everyone laughed at and some "criminal element" usually a couple guys in the class. In USA looks are more important than education that is why your country is lagging behind in intelligence far away behind such countries like Cuba, Russia, Eastern Euope (not a country) etc. even if our economies weere a mess, now they are improving along with high quality of education, not necessarily all posh looking schools, but the education itself makes people think.
Julie
· 2 years ago
This article may be correct in some ways but i disagree with a large part of it. The smart kids in my school tend to hang out because they are all in the same classes. They are all in advanced classes. However, most of them also hang out with many other groups of kids. The majority of the smart kids at my school are not nerds.
Nem
· 2 years ago
Wow! I just googled 'why' because I felt like I wanted to hear an answer to some random question I didn't ask. This article came up, its awesome!
I'm from Australia, but I can definately relate. I love how simple, clear and accurate this essay is.
david
· 2 years ago
I just typed in why aswell! this article is amazing and definetly sums up school life I'm from ireland and the social system in my school seems very similar to your schools
(by the way I am in 2nd year or 14th grade i think)
Elias G. Amaral da Silva
· 2 years ago
Fantastic essay. I occasionally crawl here looking for arc news; I have some ideas about mixing ML ideas in arc but I didn't suggested anything yet, and still don't having an open source alpha implementation isn't very motivating. (Actually /you/ made me learn lisp and want to start a startup, but that's another story).
Here in Brazil, at least in my school I didn't saw much of this bullying and outcasting, it's weaker here. Bullies are often recognized as plain evil, even to other children. But I think you are right: schools works as a prison, just because kids have no use. And I started reading this article believing this was the only way.
student #542444 From MN, USA
· 2 years ago
wow, this a very nice essay. i can see how it got kids attention from around the world. nice judgements.
Stixx
· 2 years ago
That was a great article. I'm currently considering my status as a would be customer service representative and wondering if I'm actually a nerd. I was a "freak" in high school, always wore black and sure, I had connections with the so called "dorks" in high school as well. I'm currently unemployed and have been for about a year and a half and I'm just about ready to re-enter the workforce so I've been searching for an identity that I can hold on too as I re-enter the "real world". I'm 25 and living in the suburbs again with my parents and I can tell you, it'a a bit of a nightmare. This place is deserted. TAKE ME BACK TO THE CITY! Ahhh well, If you're reading this you're probably wondering if I have a point to make.....well, I don't! HAHA! Have a nice day.
M3...
· 2 years ago
kudos to the person that wrote this. I myself am in ap classes and am enrolled in the international baccaularate program and my social life is amazing. I basically talk to everyone in the school, because here we dont have clicks. Sure we have "nerds" but even they must be popular if everyone knows who they are. There popular for being nerds. Just like popular kids are popular for being popular.
Hannah, 15, England
· 2 years ago
Fantastic article. I'm 15 and I go to a High School in England, a comprehensive so you get all sorts... I was in the "Popular Crowd" in Year 7 (11 and 12 year olds), I don't know how I got there - I guess I just got on with popular kids. But I hated it.
You constantly feel you have to keep up and image, and as soon as you laugh "too loud", or make a fool of yourself it's seen as scandal. But I didn't know where else to go, all my friends were in the popular crowd.
Then we were mixed up for subjects such as maths and science, and in top set I met other people as none of the popular crowd was in top set. Of course there were nerds in our class, but there were also...(excuse the word) normal people, interesting people, who made real conversation, instead of meaningless gossip. I loved it, and made some amazing friends.
I suppose now me and my friends would be...about B or B- in the popularity scale. I could never go back to the popular crowd, because I'm now an outcast from that group. But I'd never want to go back there.
Your article triggered a lot of memories for me :) Thanks for posting it. Whoa, my comments almost as long as your article so I'll end it on this - When describing popular kids, all you can say is "They're popular". Popular with who? Their friends. Does make everyone popular? No of course not. So why are they described as popular? Because without their popularity they have nothing else.
Hannah
· 2 years ago
I have disagree with some things in this article. I'm often classified as a nerd/geek in school, but I'm also quite popular. You see, even if you are a nerd, once people take the time to know your personality, that determines your popularity. Often the nerds that are at the bottom of the popularity diamond seclude themselves so that people cannot get to know them. You might ask, "But why are the mean teens often popular?" They are only popular among themselves. They try to act better than everyone else, but it only gains approval form others like them and those that are too insecure to discern character.
I'm being very blunt here, but for years I have been observing the way people act, etc. I figured that I might as well share my knowlegde.
Bobbi - UK
· 2 years ago
Wow, you make so much sense! In my school I was a nerd, or "boffin" as they are called over here, and now I am one of the intelligent drama geeks, which is better but not great. I have never really cared about what other people think, except my friends, because they know me better than anyone else, and I think that is one of the most important things to remember in high school/ secondary school, always make sure you are happy in both your intelligence and social status. Thanks for your time, and I love the article! -x-Bobbi-x-
Marco
· 2 years ago
I go to a really good High School and honestly nerds aren't smarter then the cool kids. If you really think nerds are smarter and the popular cool kids are dumb then your wrong. I used to be on the Basketball team and now I am on the Track And Field team in my high school and I am in honors. Many "nerds" are in Honors, but in regular also. Nerds aren't that smart, plus I rather be on a sports team with a 91+ average and have a nice social life rather than being a nerd. A nerd with a 93+ no athleticism, and almost no extra-curricular activities except for chess team. Why aren't nerds popular? Cause they aren't that much smarter then the "cool kids", they talk to themselves a lot, start conversations with random people about random stuff... Example: Me: Hi Nerd: Oh hi, yeah so I can finally kick my brothers ass in Halo 3..." Me: Um Okay cool bye. Okay maybe I started that one but you get the point. Also even geeks some of 'em have like 98+ AP classes averages and such AND DO SPORTS, they also have a good social life... Nerds are more of the fat kids who snort when they laugh and such.
Kristina
· 2 years ago
I agree with Cody on this. Marco, you are ridiculous. The grammar, aside from what Cody pointed out, was atrocious and quite honestly made me recoil. Being in "honors" does NOT take work. At all. All it takes to be in honors is be a student who isn't drunk every weekend. I am a nerd, which simply means that my IQ is a higher number than you can probably count to. I'm not UNpopular, but I am by no means "popular." And guess what? I'm not fat, and I don't snort when I laugh, thank you very much. I think you need to stick to your sports and stop capitalizing random words.
Bored Nerd
· 1 year ago
Interesting thing I realized: Marco uses terrible grammer and types in all caps because he hasn't bother to fit in with the sort of people who regularly chat on Internet comment boards. He's too busy being popular in school to avoid being socially awkward online. The difference is that there's a reason to fit in online. It comes naturally from practice, and online culture makes you smarter. not myspace of course, but in general finding articles like this and arguing about them is useful. You can always leave the game, or be a passive observer. And the society is far from a closed bubble, of course. So then, why are there people as abusive as Marco? why would those who fail at being acceptable online be in any position to bully? I think it's a habit. good luck picking on the nerds on the Internet, you'll drown in reasoned debate. by the way kristina, you're as wrong as he is. jocks aren't all stupid, and honors takes dedication. You fit in online quite well, because of your experience and intelligence, and so you bully less intelligent people who are awkward online. nerds bullying jocks...ain't the Internet great?
DDR
· 2 years ago
As you say, the school society does not have the power to change things other than locally. Therefore, I would expect a great deal of variation from region to region, geographically and economically. This is a very good essay!
I get that "yeah... that sounds right..." feeling.
bobwazzi
· 2 years ago
Very interesting. I agree much.
frosty
· 2 years ago
Woah, this stuff is a bit hard for me to comprehend, but I understood most of it. I too personaly do not relate to this, but it does have some major points that seems true. hehehe, I serously like the part when you said "who wouldn't drop thirty points in exchange for being loved and admired by everyone?" that really got me thinking.
foreclosers
· 2 years ago
I suppose the one point about nerds that could be brought out more is their naivete. I remember actually singing in class in high school to impress people with my songwriting ability. This was not a music class. I was intelligent, but I lacked foresight. Nerds have real deficiencies that compound the problem of unpopularity. I suppose all teenagers are naive, in their own specialized ways.
foreclosers
· 2 years ago
Forgive me if this appears twice, my terminal shut down on me. Basically, I'd like to testify to the naivete of high school nerds. I remember one time I actually thought I'd impress my classmates with my songwriting ability (which is something I've been almost equally naive about after high school). So I sang a song to them in class. Not a music class. Furthermore it was inspired by a particular girl in that class. I cannot blame that on anyone but myself.
Vicky
· 2 years ago
That was interesting, I do have to agree with a lot of you're saying. But I've lead my life as a popular kid who got invited to every party and managed to study and get the top grades. Maybe I'm naive and people will disagree with me, but I truly believe that if you treat people equally and appreciate everyone you become popular. It worked for me, I guess because I never fealt the need to make fun of someone or put them down, on the oposite, it made me extremelly happy when I cheared someone up or helped out. I guess I just want to say, being yourself and out there is extremelly important. Don't just limit yourself to one friend group, try out different things, don't be scared to fail and you'll make lots of new friends and be invited to many parties and feel loved and popular:-) thanks for reading.
anonymous
· 2 years ago
I agree all the way.. when i was a kid, i stayed about medium in popularity. first i was a nerd, then slowly pulled my way up... pretty hard and harsh, mind. at football, i was always embarrased at being one of the last ones, but id look real dumb wandering around on the field. part of it, i found out, is racism...
dan
· 2 years ago
well i do agree but to be honest i think kids judge by actoins. see theirs this kid who is like 6 ft 2 inches or so in our 7th grade class and know1 sat next to him. i was knew to the school and they warned me about it. know i stay in the averge popular. i dont want to be so so popular because then alot of people talk about 1 mistake u made. but i think if u do sports u get alot of regonitoin.but thier are smart kids in my class and we popular kids dont pick on them.well i dont know about public but i go to private. we picked on the guy who is different. and we useto pick on this kid who was always getting F,s and forgeting homework.well i dont know i guess in a private school is different.
dan
· 2 years ago
also if u make fun of nerds u get alot of kids liking u. it depends how u are i mean like if ur a kid in 7th grade dating u are pretty popular. and also depends how u act up because if ur new u have to make a first impressoin. dont let guys trash talk u but try to listen what they say and do what they say but the worst thing if ur knew is being nosey.
Lloyd A. Conway
· 2 years ago
Sir: You write as if you knew me in school. At my 20th reunion, a woman, whom I didn't recognize, walked up to me and said, "I'm so sorry for what we did to you." I'll spare the details of those dark years, as you've outlined them in your essay; all I could add would be the particulars of my situation. Based on my experiences, I have a lifelong hatred of bullies, utmost respect for folks like John McCain who were POWs, and a strong dislike of planning, utopianism, and ideology. I hope that the homeschooling movement helps to deschool society (to borrow Ivan Illych's phrase), and that the utter failure of our schools, in an era of shrinking budgets, will lead to their collapse, a la the Velvet Revolution that swept away Communism in Eastern Europe. Thank you for the public service you've done by so eloquently identifying the root causes of the problem with American public secondary schools: purposelessness and boredom. -Lloyd A. Conway P.S. Parochial schools are different, I think. Where my wife teaches, they do have a mission, the kids learn, and they're a pretty happy lot.
Anonymous
· 2 years ago
the essay was great!!!!!!!
but i'm a straight A student and i'm popular so i don't understand why other smart people can't be popular
Hhhmmm!!!!!!
Andrew
· 2 years ago
uh hey vicky is a *girl*... and i assume the rest are mostly guys? this may just be a speculation of mine (which is likely to be true), but i really reckon that when it comes to being smart AND unpopular, guys clearly have an *upper hand * AND *do much better*!
Cheryl
· 2 years ago
Getting good grades does not make you a nerd. Especially if you are taking standard classes and the nerds are in advanced ones. It always annoyed me when I was in trigonometry and got a B while someone in basic algebra got an A and made Honor Roll because of it. Grades have nothing to do with intelligence or nerdiness. Also, my friends and I often made poor grades because we just didn't care. We weren't being challenged in class, and were bored, so didn't bother with homework. We also got in trouble frequently for acting out in class because the material didn't hold our attention. I spent almost every lunch period in middle school in detention because of this. (It kept me from having to deal with the lunch table issue though!)
Nicole Patterson
· 2 years ago
I love this artical I am on a papper for my school and I feel that it is important for kids to hear an artical like this one. It inspirded me to be nice to everyone because it does hurt them later in the future.
Darren
· 2 years ago
This actually made sense of what my school seems like. Thats... unusually helpful, actually. =\ although, it does seem to say that if any "nerds" start to become poular, then they are basically messing up their lives.
Jennifer
· 2 years ago
I'm so sure you're over analyzing this b/c the kids at my school are smart but maintain average popularities. It really doesn't have anything to do with what someone wants to achieve on: popularity vs booksmarts, but more on who you are as a person and the life that you're more pulled towards. People will hang around cooler [as in kinder, more interesting, more positive attitude] people. Even if you're focused on school, it doesn't mean many people don't have the idea of a cool nerd you are and want to be your friend. Also, I believe some nerds are like how you describe them as, but maybe they're avoiding popularity b/c they know they lack skills to get popular. You seem to assume popularity as a game anyone can win, but actually, not everybody. If you're nerd, you're a nerd. If you're popular, you have qualities making you popular. Being a nerd doesn't meant you also do have good social qualities to you keep to yourself for. The 8 hours you spend in school isn't 100% reading and writing. Nerds have time to be liked by peers. I also know for a fact that popular people might avoid the books b/c they think they aren't smart or patient enough. I do believe that the world would be better if nerds and popular guys get along.
Ryan
· 2 years ago
I was a nerd in high school but because I was on the wrestling team I was allowed to eat with the wrestlers and therefore some of my lunchmates were popular kids. This did not, however, make me de facto cool. I still got pushed around by some of the other, non-wrestling jocks and outside of the wrestling season I did not eat with those students anymore. After I returned from Germany and began my senior year, I had considerably more friends as people were curious about my trip but the curiosity soon wore off. I landed a major role in the school play and made many, many friends but since they were also in drama, I returned to the world of Nerds.
Now I'm the mac and it has made the past all worth while.
vts_vts
· 2 years ago
Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant!
Arjun Lall
· 2 years ago
Amazing. I just read this in the first chapter of your book and thought to myself "This is so good! I wish PG would post it online so everyone could read it." Little did I know that it already was. Very cool, now I can send it to everyone who I wanted to share it with.
This should be required reading at all high schools. Cant wait to read the rest of the book in between my hacking binges.
maco
· 2 years ago
Wow, great analysis. The boredom, I think, could be remedied at least a bit if they stopped teaching the same thing every year and started challenging the kids. If they stopped telling curious youngsters to not worry about something because they won't learn it for years, that'd be wonderful. Being told, as a first-grader, that I wouldn't learn about negative numbers for a few more years was terrible. I already knew about negative numbers! It wasn't a matter of them having to teach me about them (as I said, I had already figured them out), simply acknowledging that I was right would've done just fine. Multiplication was the same way. Eventually you get tired of not being challenged and simply give up on paying attention, and then school becomes even worse. My computer architectures class as a sophomore in college taught binary. In college?! That was considered 6th grade math in the not-even-challenging school I attended throughout my childhood. The problem extends all the way through the secondary years, apparently (though, admittedly, the *rest* of computer architectures is very difficult). Things would've been a little better for all us nerds and geeks growing up if we'd at least been able to exercise our grey matter in school. Instead, that was relegated to books and flashlights in bed or hiding books to read under desk while ignoring the teacher.
Manny
· 2 years ago
WHy didn't you add the popular girlfrien part from the French version in this version
Rodrigo Gaytán Fregoso
· 2 years ago
I think this essay shows and criticize one part of american society, it is in fact remarkable how throughout decades the concept "Life in the school/Life at school" essentially captured in this essay, approach us to understand behavioural tendencies when whe where at school, and in some cases, how our kids are like, facing this daily-motion experience in hope to crash the "eternal" system. I really appreciate that the writer took time, and transformed it in space filled with consciousness, and seeks to fix this affair by motivating children to fix their problem. I think this awesome writer, can improve the essay by studying a little bit of latinamerican education and how those countries have somehow applied this psyche-deteriored ambient on their schools, take for example Mexico.
Trevor
· 2 years ago
Your analysis is very interesting, and major problems defiantly do exist in the education system, however in my high school I don't notice a correlation between smart kids and unpopular kids if anything the reverse is true however in my high school their is a lot of pressure to do well average gpa is about 3.45 and almost all students go on to college. I actually feel academically challenged for the first time in high school because i was given the option of taking honers and even college level courses, thus i feel the problem with our education system is the redundant and pointless curriculum that dominates primary schools.
- J
· 2 years ago
very true. I go to a British public (not the way you use it, that would be a 'state' school. A public is school is an exclusive branch of private schools like, say, Eton) school. I'm lucky in that there isn't such a popularity contest as there seems to be in the US, though it is still very present. Partly because of school uniform - and strict discipline (anyone caught using drugs will be immediately expelled. The discipline in state schools however is infinitely laxer.
I would consider myself slightly 'arty,' and if I had to place myself in a social ranking I would be just above average. I'm odd though, in that I have close friends who are in the Rugby A team (a sure-fire ticket to social stardom) and nerds who spend lunch break looking up upcoming video games on the internet. This has its drawbacks, as in I am invited to parties where I feel very uncomfortable, or drawn into sports conversations I honestly couldn't care less about.
Partly because I am what I like to call a 'secret geek.' I am ashamed to say that I pick on those who are truly unpopular like everyone else, when in my heart I do the same things they do. I just don't tell anyone. I often wish I had someone to debate Buffy the Vampire slayer with, or to write with on a pbp rpg. But I shroud these things in so much secrecy, because they're existance would send me spiralling to the bottom of the social ladder.
Wow, this really mutated from 'i like this essay' to an introspective on my life. It feels good to type this, safe behind my iron curtain of secrecy. Anyway, I really like the article. It's very true.
- J, of Guildford
Dead in life
· 2 years ago
The story is very true here is another nerd, who is just finishing school and doesnt know where to go, my aspiration is "the sky is the limit", no wonder why I dont like those people who say "you can become a doctor" for I dont want to become a doctor, there are doctors !! I may like to talk to anyone of you here ( because anyone has read this page and is reading the comments must be a little geek) so you can find me in Yahoo Answers "hidden" under the nickname of WISE_monkey . I would really like to chat with you, by the way I am a born christian-arab (dont activate your hearsay system) , but I dont care for all those racism, because i know that we all humans share one thing, for we are VERSION 2 OF MONKEYS.
peace on all
cathy
· 2 years ago
I think this would be great to make into a book for middle schoolers. Add some awesome illustrations and they'd love it.
Emily
· 2 years ago
This is an awesome essay! It is so true. I am in ninth grade and am probably in group C, occasionally drifting to D. I have thought before about the fact that schools are pointless, but your essay really helped to explain it to my whole mind. I think all middle schoolers and high schoolers should read this. Fortunately, I am one of the few who have a bit of use in society. I got some prints of my artwork into a local art store recently and hope to add more soon! :) (my website shows them)
Answers found!
· 2 years ago
Wow sir I would like to thank you so much for this. I'm in 9th grade now and have ranked all the way from A to D in my 9 years of public/private school. I have a world history class following the that exact model of "7 major Egyptian developments are... and then on the test: What are the 7 major developments from Egyptians?" I was beginning to question the whole system when I found your site! Thank you so much for the advice!
tiffany
· 2 years ago
i think this is you ranting to make yourself feel better. and so all the nerds can join hands and say "wow , we are so cool, UNITE". i disagree with a good amount here. Popular kids get popular not because they strived so very hard to want it (everyone wants it, few are chosen) but because others gravitate towards them in the early years. Popularity starts as soon as youth is grouped together. as early as they can differentiate between someone attractive, and someone unattractive. i don’t know what schools you have been to now a days old timer, but these days nerds are a little different. we have two sets of nerds. the ones who are actually smart, and than the stupid ones who don’t do their homework, but just look like nerds. just because you're a nerd, doesn't mean your smart. And its the "cool" thing for popular kids to get good grades, or be "perfect". Sorry to tell ya this but times are changed. too bad you weren't born in this generation. Smart is the new pink.
If you are anything like me you will try to analyze what I said to find out which category I am in. well I’m going to ruin you fun and tell you. I’m not in the popular crowd, but Im definitely not a nerd. Luckily I popped out a female and as we all know, the anatomy of a female (no matter what she looks like…ok maybe with a few exceptions) gets a heads up on the scale of any nerd. Aka, a nerdy boy usually looks worse than a nerdy girl. I’m getting off topic… my point being I am not a nerd. Neither did I get good grades. I’m terrible at spelling and grammar and its embarrassing how horrible I am. I guess you could say I’m … a little slow, at everything. I was a ugly little thing in middle school but by the time I reached high school popularity groups had already been established, restricting me to only jump up a few notches never allowing me to reach the most popular peak, (which I didn’t care much about as long as I wasn’t an outcast). I also didn’t care because what really mattered was what the boys thought of me, not the girls. A popular girl could trick herself into thinking I’m not competition because of my social status conducted from previous years before, but males at that age don’t thing with that part of their … brain? I guess you could say.
I’m only telling you all of this because I have no mental challenge at the moment, ( I dropped out of high school because my eating disorder was taking over my life and I’m getting my GED, but I haven’t had a good assignment in much too long) and I was looking for some mental stimulation. So thanks for writing your thesis, so I could critique it.
Eva
· 1 year ago
In a fine example of proving the article right, here we have an undefined middle-ranker picking on an adult ex-nerd to make herself feel better for being a beached whale with an eating disorder, all under the guise of 'an assignment' without realizing that personal opinion have no place in true academic critique. Quite a self-centered conclusion to her little rant as well.
Harrison
· 2 years ago
excellent! Wish I'd have had this to show my parents 8 years ago - they'd have believed me! And as to that previous comment, the poster has no idea what she's talking about. I started at the *lowest* end of my popularity scale in elementary (being much too smart for all of pre-post-secondary school), and ended up in the second highest (because I started "Working" at popularity, as you say)... and I have exceptional friends at every interval both above and in between, and I'm going to save this essay on my computer as food for thought, and hopefully I'll still have it when I have my own kids, to remind myself. Fabulous insight. p.s. I'm still a nerd at heart. I'm in one of the best engineering programs in [my] country.
Teresa
· 2 years ago
Here in Australia we dont really have 'popularity' everyone is equal. Also, if you are gifted with intelligence, you will be looked up to
Greg
· 2 years ago
Good essay. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that school is a massive fake. It's funny I read this today because earlier today I was looking at all the "motivational" posters (The only thing they've motivated me to do is to be pissed) and was thinking about how much of my life was just a part of this sham. It's sickening. As far as my schooling ( Which is CONSTANTLY interfering with my education) is concerned, it's not gona change. Once I'm 18 and can vote (Dennis Kucinich '08) I plan to participate in every local election I can and am going to pay extra attention to what is happening with the schools.
Kidney
· 2 years ago
tiffany doesn't know what she's talking about, I'm a freshman in a small charter school too small for a real "society" so to speak but I went to a normal middle school before, in which case it was very active there are both kind of nerds yes, but the "stupid" ones are not usually nessesarially stupid, they are just not willing to waste their time doing the the same bullshit over and over again, and in fact realize the fact that school is just to keep us out of peoples way.
Once you get into the 7th grade the system becomes so screwed up that you stop learning entirely. Like in math, you waste your time with review of everything you ever learned about math half of the semester, and when they finally start teaching something new the repeat it so much that you don't make any progress. My guess as to why this happens is that they are trying to include people who "learn by repetition" instead of working with each student individually.
As well as that the nerds who get bad grades realize that the adults are trying to prevent this I've seen posters put up in classrooms that say things like "Question: When will I ever use this? Answer: You can never use what you've never learned." These are put up to counter the few sparks of brilliance the even the most dim witted people have, even if it doesn't answer the question. In fact it seems to me that it proves nothing. We know we cannot use it if we don't know how to, but if there is no where you are going to use it, than why bother learning it, but if you mention this obvious fact you're told you have an additude, or ironically that you are being smart.
Donda
· 2 years ago
I was a nerd in junior high, smart and going through some pretty difficult "growing pains." As a girl, I so desperately wanted to be "popular," especially with the boys, and I remember spending lots of energy striving to earn this popular status. While my hard work never produced a spot in the "A" group, I did lose a ton of weight and discover a dancing ability that placed me in the role of Pom Squad captain my junior and senior year. I dated a "B" member of the basketball team who was a couple years ahead of me in school and these things helped me maintain what I refer to as "B+" status. Like Tiffany posted, I do not believe it is completely being smart that defines these groups...many if not most of our "A" listers in highschool were the top of their class in terms of grades. In fact, this almost innate power to learn seemed to be the very thing that freed them to be able to focus their time and energy on developing and maintaining their popularity. I do believe that certain traits - physical beauty, self-confidence in front of large groups, athletic ability, money (to afford all the trappings of popular life) all seem to contribute to earning this elite status. However, maintaining one's title requires a lot of time, energy and attention. As I look back, I would have been willing to have devoted the time and energy to climbing the ranks - but there is a certain amount of "innate" qualities that one just cannot manufacture. Indeed, as one enters the adult world, the popular group becomes far more fractured. While there are people at the top of the pact, what places them there seems to change based upon the criteria of the particular setting be it the family, church, work, mom's play group, gym, etc. There is an unfortunate undercurrent of these tween and teen years that does, however, remain throughout our adult lives. As much as we may change, mature, and adapt on the outside - inside, many of us still fight the self-esteem and self-concept issues that were imbedded in us during our middle school and high school experiences. As a parent, it makes me more determined to not focus so much on protecting my children from the "world," but to protect them from this micro-system and to help them find an alternative way to pass from childhood to adulthood without being subjected to this degree of peer influence.
Alexis from Oakton High
· 2 years ago
what an incredible treatise on the decline of adolescent sanity! as I have suffered through innumerable accounts of teen-angst, this website is like a trove of intellectual pillars to support my weak and unformed ideas about what high school really means. I mean, in freshman year, I was so focused on academic and athletic prowess that I quickly withered because I was a nerd sans friends. So in sophomore year I got friends, conformed, and let my grades slide down into the ocean depths. And now that I'm a junior, slacking once more, I am questioning everything, even my friends, and the advice that we find something interesting is true, but basically, what i can really relate to is the responsibility kids need to be aware of. and your quote "Rebellion is as bad as obedience" will go down into the catacombs of my seven diaries. I want to thank you for your laudable efforts in creating this forum. it was of great assistance to me.
Cliff Schomburg
· 2 years ago
This is by far the most detailed, accurate description of what life is like in American public schools... or American government schools, as they are more accurately called. The government has provided us with a form a social welfare for our children, and their goal is not to train them to be thinkers, or even productive members of society, but simply to contain them until they are old enough to do something better. What is forgotten is that many of our great thinkers were published at a young age, some as young as 12 years old. Despite the natural challenges of being a teenager, there are many great things a mind can accomplish at a young age. Teenagers have become forsaken in our money-glorifying economic system, and they are left to fend for themselves. The author's insight and profound analysis are both accurate and important. This article has demystified much of my youth.
ninsane
· 2 years ago
WoW.Great article. I preferred reading this instead of the book I should have read for school... I was always curious about the american learning system. Guess it's the same old crap as here. I think we're given a lot more to learn, probably to keep us busy even after school ..
Farrukh
· 2 years ago
First, my appologies for skimming through the essay.
Second: Whssaaaooo, a very interesting piece. Looking forward to your Hard Cover!
Anon6
· 2 years ago
There were some very interesting points, and also many points that don't seem correct.
I would like to mention that as you have it stated, "Nerd" is not interchangeable with smart, and as a result you leave out the fact that there can be many intelligent people who still are completely social. This results in a massive hole in the thesis. Nerds, people who are smart and not socially adept, are unpopular. Wouldn't you also agree that people who are not socially adept are unpopular as well (That is to say the theoretical loner who has no friends. Even if people secretly think he's cool, as some girls think nerds are cool, he still has very little social contact, and is generally unpopular, because popularity must be recognized to be measured.) Thus what you really should be saying is socially inadept people are inadept socially! Popularity is a direct measure of your social ability around a group of people, and thus in a group of people (kids) who you are not adept socially, you are unpopular. It is very rarely, and you might say never, the case that a socially inadept person is popular among kids. In a group of outsiders who admire the "really outsider" kid, he is not socially in adept, but idolized and popular, and thus adept within that group.
Thus we are left with the other side of the coin. What if what you really are trying to say is that intelligent people are intrinsically unpopular.This is closer to the truth within schools, but demands that unpopular be defined for all subsets of kids. By your definition "nerds" already don't have the social ability, but the lack of social ability sprouts from "intelligent people" ignoring it! I have known many intelligent people who have not become "socially inadept"(for we are talking only about social adeptness, as intelligence *itself* is not unpopular), and I have known plenty of people with below average intelligence who are socially inadept. At the same time, those on the fringes who are not popular among those circles can form their own "outsider" circles, but can be just as smart as those outside and just as popular as others within their own circles. Given a large enough population in any given circle, bullying between social circles would not exist.
You speak from the experience that the outsiders (D table) only had one table out of everyone. What if the outsiders had just as many tables as the A tables? What if they had more? The common idea of the "common" high school student would be thrown out the window if they were less common, however in everyones minds they remain the same( the sports team/cheerleading partiers). However when there are more D than A, doesn't existing in group D give you much more popularity without as much social restrictions, especially if you already have been associating yourself with that group? If you have declared yourself a nerd, and now you enter an environment with more nerds than sports players, you are on top (college matches this perfectly). Intelligence itself doesn't cause unpopularity or social awkwardness now, because you are in a group of like-minded people who all value intelligence. Secondary schools could be exactly the same given the right mix of students, however there will necessarily be less like minded intelligent people because not all people go to college, and thus the ratios will be different. In today's high schools, intelligence has become a more popular thing to have that previously. It is not as important a factor yet as "fitting in", but given the right set of conditions, children will find the next big trend and just like your example of John Nash picking up new habits of the people he admired, they will latch onto the trend and run with it.
To sum up: Intelligence is not a factor in popularity, but associations and populations of like-minded people is. If there is enough people with the same ideals as you, you will have both popularity and social acceptance, whether this group values intelligence or field goals, or whatever. The current status of the schools can change, but the change can be seen in the students without new school systems given time and the right societal changes to redefine what is popular.
studyingbehavior
· 2 years ago
About the suburbs....I saw the same things happen in New York City schools. Now living in the suburbs as a parent, I am not sure the difference is that significant.
Nat
· 2 years ago
Wow, this article is really great and interesting. I've just realized I'm a nerd, all you say here is so true. I'm glad I'm not alone. It seems like schools in France are becoming just the same as in America. Thank you for writing this !
cyber_rigger
· 2 years ago
In my school we had an elite nerd crowd. It was difficult to get in.
"Popularity" has many faces.
A blabbering extrovert does not equal popularity in some circles.
The Eternal Squire
· 1 year ago
Outstanding essay. Excellent premise for an EdD thesis. Should be required reading for every school principal and superintendant!
Soruthe
· 1 year ago
Certainly a great essay with a strong point of view. Though, more than that, this essay actually gave me more in the way of concrete evidence that the stereotypes for middle school are actually derived from something tangible.
Though schools certainly vary.
In my school, there is no one society of teenagers. There is the main collection of students, divided into blacks and whites and grays. There is the main group of athletic kids, and then the other groups. The smaller groups lead happier junior high careers, are smarter (though not necessarily academicaly), and quieter. They are also close-knit among each other, and there are certain social classes that neither harm nor benefit. They look at the main group, with its intricacies and its drama, and laugh. I am one of the outsider group.
It's interesting to see how else a junior high system can be organized, but it seems that it all boils down to the same bubble and the same need for organization--however savage.
Though, the intricacies of junior high life are more likely than not infinite. There is a certain rulebook built into people's minds absolutely FILLED with exceptions and clauses. Popularity is not a black and white thing, and the society in a school is not singular. A school is a large enough environment to achieve numerous societies with their own social castes. The way you have written about it simplifies it: "popular" is defined by being liked within the largest society in the school. In reality, it is different. There are cliques which range from large to small, either having or not having social classes. Smaller cliques form larger societies of closest-knit cliques, in which existing social castes blend and conflict with each other.... As I said, the rulebook has infinite clauses. I say this coming fresh from this system on a Friday night after school.
So, you certainly might have included more about that in your essay. Though all in all, there's definitely a lot of good in it. Good job, and thank you for giving me something to think about.
Marie
· 1 year ago
I really appreciated this. I think I will make my mother read it, even though I highly doubt she will take it seriously as she seems to suffer from the illusion that she cannot possibly be wrong about me. It is good to know that some adults atleast appreciate that there are intelligent kids out there and that we aren't to be feared and put down.
blog nerd
· 1 year ago
This is an interesting article--I'm going to link to it.
My high school experience was a little different and doesn't fit the mold. It was an all girls Catholic High School. It was entrance by exam, college prep, and very competitive. When girls don't have to worry about being unattractive to boys, its a funny thing. They get smarter. And lacking achieving male attention as a common pursuit, they compete at being smart against each other.
While the smartest girls were NOT the most popular--which holds with your distracted theory, I found--they were not persecuted or unpopular by any stretch but greatly admired. By Junior and Senior year there was very little antagonism between the popular and unpopular girls.
I was by all rights a nerd but I ventured into the freak category in as much as I flaunted not studying--but this was to differentiate myself from the Grinds. I was NATURALLY smart, you see. This was my way of setting myself a part--advertising emotional angst and complete intellectual boredom. This eventually succeeded in getting me begrudging admiration across cliques--or at least it seemed that way to me. And while it prevented me from developing a good work ethic, it set me apart.
To show you how unusual the all girls competitive environment is: the most anticipated day of the year was rank day. Each quarter there was a clamoring as the class rank was posted. The top 5 (which occasionally but not usually included me) were quiet, sweet girls who worked hard (I was the exception, there--Lazy But Smart). They were universally well liked, for no other reason than they were NICE and eager to please but not sycophants. And the Top 10 was not without at least 3 or 4 of the most popular girls in school.
The real social qualifier, in most cases ESSENTIAL for popularity: MONEY. And you could tell who had the money even in uniform: by the earrings they wore and their shoes alone.
An unusual but interesting and, for a female, invaluable high school experience. If I could send my daughter to an all girls educational environment I would in a heartbeat. It never occurred to me in high school that being smart was a liability.
That didn't happen until I discovered boys and the rest of the world in college. Talk about a rude awakening.
DO not wake the Dreamer
· 1 year ago
I think this is stupid. btw im working in my computer class right now. i was just board :D
Arthur
· 1 year ago
Just thought id leave a comment. i did really enjoy this article like alot of you other ones, and allot of you theorys such as the distraction theory and ect. is so true im a guy and just compitition even if theres no one else going for a girl guys still act like pricks like me sometimes just to prove ourselves and its funny cause we are like monkeys. ha.. P.S. The guy below me (DO not wake the Dreamer) is very ignorant not because he said it is "stupid" but to have such a small statement not even to back it up (probobly Cause he didnt read it all) and negative comments for what? does it make him feel better cause he pts a "stupid" smile at the end of his sentence? I hate "Stupid" People
fraser
· 1 year ago
These are not new ideas, but one that many of us who home learn our kids have held dear. We have seen our children grow up without the negative socialization of schools and it is breathtaking. Not to mention it probably saved some of their lives. How can you put a value on that? It's hard to prove, but we see it all the time with our children so we have come to believe. John Holt would be happy to see this online.
jenai
· 1 year ago
wow nice essay. woww i finally understand the reason for nerds to be unpopular
kneller
· 1 year ago
Good essay.
K02
· 1 year ago
your essay was very excellent! i agree with almost words that it said.. it's very true.. it's like i'm the one who's writing it... you can really see what's going on... SO GREAT!!
Ashley
· 1 year ago
Hi ppl i kindda enjoyed this essay .It was fun reading it and lol forgot tat this is the first essay I've read and i liked it
Nicole
· 1 year ago
I can't completely agree with all that you said, but then again I went to a smaller school of about 600-700 people. Most people in our school didn't judge people on their looks, mostly personality, which I find justifiable since it's what counts. I wouldn't say that I was popular, but I did hang out with the popular girls, I just didn't know very many people or go to many social activities, I consider myself a nerd. But the girls I was and am still friends with were never cruel to people unless they were cruel first. We also often invited people who would be considered nerds to sit with us at lunch if they were sitting alone. So I don't think your points count for all high schools, at least not in my small Canadian town. It was an interesting read though! thanks.
feedtherich
· 1 year ago
Being smart has nothing to do with being unpopular. You just fail at social intelligence, which actually makes you dumb, in a sense. I also fell into this category, and I still do. I am not in denial. All the 'cool' things I've done or people I've associated with do not take me out of the loser category. But I don't care, because humans are pathetic and we're all going to die.
Holly
· 1 year ago
I liked the point made about how some students choose academic sucess over popularity. The route taken at this stage is crucial and academic sucess is the wiser choice in my opinion. This article was interesting to read as I chose to study hard in sciences in school instead of working my way up the popularity ladder and this lead to all the pitfalls the author described so well. I'm glad I did as now I'm in my dream role as an undergraduate dental student and am planning to use my degree to travel and work abroad! Wouldn't you rather be known as an intelligent person?? Holly x (Manchester-U.K)
missprettybrownhair
· 1 year ago
First of all... who cares if your popular or not? im not popular in school, and the popular kids spread rumors about me like im gay so i told the prinicial and social worker ( hehe). anyway, popularity wont last forever! once u finish high school its the nerds that become popular and get good jobs while the other kids that are the son of a b*tch will get stupid jobs like garbage men or maybe even homeless! those are the kids who belong in h*ll ;)
Anonymous
· 1 year ago
This is a great piece! I have to say I moved from Barcelona to a city in the U.S. and was extremely surprised about all this 'popularity' concept. People were classified, tagged, and criticized behind their backs to make themselves feel better or feel identified. I consider myself to be a 'nerd' in the sense that I usually think ahead of other people and am used to 'philosophizing'. However, being from Barcelona, people categorize me as 'cool' just for being from a foreign city and my decision on ignoring popularity. I have many friends who would be on the 'D' grade in your map, and many others who would fall into the 'A' category. But I try to judge them for who they are, and not for how other people tag them. Anyways, I think this writing is very true and reflects the situation in many American schools. Good job!
Margaret
· 1 year ago
Stop complaining, Nerds aren't popular because they don't have the same interests. I'm a Cheerleader, i'm nice. And i goto a public school? So what? Reading this was seriously, no help at all. To tell you the truth.
Dude
· 1 year ago
IMO there are just basically different things.
You just cant begin to explain em.
You cant just classify reasons why people are unpopular. Their are many.
The closest I could probably explain it imo is: Basically it just boils down to people being twats to a certaing degree, and people trying to not be seen as shit or whatever by the twats. And then them who are just noticed as people the twats dont like who find it hard to socially inteeract with others.
But ye even that isnt right. Theres just too many reasons :P
bug
· 1 year ago
Hey Im 15! I have no idea why Im reading this stuff, but I think its pretty much true!I was popular until my parents put me in home school for no reason!! IT SUCKS!! But when I was in puplic school (last year) my class was mostly popular kids so every time a nerd, geek or ''retard'' came their parents would ''mysteriosly'' pull them out of school!! We didnt realy have seprate tables, but most people would move if someone they didnt like came!!!
Pete
· 1 year ago
Hey 15!!! I admire you for at least reading this article and developing your opinion based on an evolving and complete (as close as possible) set of facts, not emotions. That is why your reading "this stuff". Your parents are home schooling you because they love you and care for your well-being more than anything. Think about it for a few seconds. Apply logic to the situation. Leaving you in school would have been less work and much easier for them. However, From your point of view, which I'm sure is omniscient, there was no reason whatsoever for them to pull you out. In reality, you needed to be pulled out of your particular public school because the quality of your literacy is revealed in your brief comment. Your school was not providing you with an education, unless "Popularity" is the highest paying job these days. Also, more bad news for you, if "you were popular (as you say and are so convinced that you were) until your parents (who wake up every day and try to figure out how they are going to ruin your life) put you in home school; you were never popular. If being schooled at home makes you so repulsive to your friends, then you do not have true friends to begin with. I'm glad your reading, but you have a lot to learn young man. You don't know nearly as much as you think you know. Keep reading, get informed and honor your parents. There is a great deal of excellent research on the effects of public secondary education. I won't tell you what it says. Check it out yourself and you just might be surprised. Good luck.
bug
· 1 year ago
that is the real reason my parents put me in home shool, because they wanna suprvise me!!! Im bug scrole down!
gurl
· 1 year ago
u kno this story is soooo true! its like my life sudenly makes sense!! But missprettybrownhair ur u-tube vid dusnt make any sense!!!
Steve
· 1 year ago
Though long, this is a great article that makes a lot of solid points. I would probably put myself in the C or D category of people back in junior high and high school, but the whole popularity and hierarchy thing seemed to vanish once I entered college.
It's just so funny to see how so much of your article applied to my life. Though I was a nerd during my adolescent years, I turned out graduating college with honors and getting a great job, and leaving the white trash bullies of past years in my dust.
Funny how some of the people who disagree with this article happened to be the popular ones in school. They seem to feel threatened that the nerds 'play a game much closer to the one played in the real world.' Too bad for them. They're also not the ones that are at the bottom looking up in this hierarchy.
Anonymous
· 1 year ago
You guys are so right about this whole thing, except that I haven't seen a lot of bullying at our school, but I have seen people laugh at the "nerds" as you say, behind their backs.
missprettybrownhair
· 1 year ago
ok everyone answer this question to see if your as smart as the kids in my class (and yes that includes me ) here's the question..... In Egypt there was a god that would judge people when they die. this god's name is.. a. Anubis b. Osiris c. Isis d. Amun- Re
if u get this right i will give u an award and if u want i will talk about u to my class so that way 22 people u dont know will know who u are
cultofmetatron
· 1 year ago
a anubis
Eva
· 1 year ago
Knowing a detail of Egyptian myth doesn't mean you're smart, dear, just that you know a random factoid. There's a difference between intelligence - actual mental capability- and specialized knowledge. There's a reason IQ tests have to stick to general information, to avoid biases like that. The brightest kid in America would probably score like a retard if taking the test in Mandarin Chinese. It's not that she's dumb, just that this is outside her scope. Besides, it's Osiris.
blonddude
· 1 year ago
but u didnt say a thing bout being shy. I'm nerdy and shy! If i wouldn't be a nerd anymore, I'd still be shy, and what then? Ppl I'm not shy to like me, even popular kids, but the shyness made me a nerd, made me smart.
If I wasn't shy, I wouldn't be this smart. But w/e, live and let live. (anubis? hard one!)
John
· 1 year ago
I'm a nerd!! Nerds are awesome!!
Matt
· 1 year ago
Okay as I read the quote
"So if intelligence in itself is not a factor in popularity, why are smart kids so consistently unpopular? The answer, I think, is that they don't really want to be popular."
I realized I was lucky enough to learn this in 7th grade. Really being avrage just means they don't put in effort. I learned that because you want to achive more all you have to do is show that you put in the effert. ( Please bear my spelling it's math and science for me).
John
· 1 year ago
Things DON'T change when you leave school.
Being famous is an adult's version of being "popular at school" and look how they are treated by everyone else. No different than the relationships between nerds and popular kids - And most of them are simply famous because they're either good looking or good atheletes - just like school.
As for why smart kids are nerds.
The popular kids are: a) the best looking b) the best fighters and c) the best atheletes.
Everyone else in their group are gimps, the reason why nerds stay away is because they're smart enough to realise this.
missprettybrownhair
· 1 year ago
ok CORSICAN u haven't been on in like 4 days!! so im going to ask a different question to see if your as smart ( maybe even smarter) than the kids in my class. the question is.. what was the name of Ramses ll son?? and i mean his oldest son. is it... a. Semnut b. Istnofret c. Nafari d. Merneptah if u get it right u get a prize. and also if u want ill tell my whole class about u!!!!!! ill give u a hint about his son. his son was 50 years old when he became pharaoh and also u might want to check out the book " The Place in the Sun" that's where u might find the answer ;)
cultofmetatron
· 1 year ago
umm that only says if he read the same lil tidbit fact from some random factbook on ancient eqyptian history
theres a diffrence between knowing its this_string.equal(other_string) because of what the book literally said vs knowing the appropriate use between that and this_string == that_string based on understanding of pointers (Mr. grahm, please forgive the use of java in this example, it was the first thing to pop in my head)
IE: quoting random trivia is not and will never be an accurate measure of intelligence
<3 *=]
· 1 year ago
i dont think that being smart matters at my school actually some popular kids at my school are in honors math (the highest) and some nerds at my school arn't smart i think that personality is what determines your popularity anyway, thats just what i think =]
Eileen
· 1 year ago
I went to a prep school where good grades were generally admired. The popular people usually got good grades but were too well dressed and sociable to be nerds. There certainly were nerds, and although they weren't persecuted, they weren't popular, either. In several graduating classes the valedictorian (with the highest GPA) was a popular, preppy kid instead of a nerd. In my class I was the valedictorian, and I qualify as a nerd, at least superficially. I was unpopular because I was socially inept and poorly groomed. I studied, but didn't study much outside of schoolwork, and I still had time left over. I spent much of my free time sitting around doing nothing. The rest of the time I either played computer games that I sucked at no matter how much I played, or I browsed through fiction books. Only one person hung out with me after school, and my parents never let us go anywhere unsupervised. Part of the reason might have been that I came across as extremely clueless and apathetic and had a blank expression on my face all the time. (People sometimes ask me I understand English.) We wore uniforms, but while the other girls wore their skirts short and sometimes used makeup, I wore a skirt that reached down below my knees by a good 2 inches. I also wore glasses, and had crowded teeth (my parents didn't believe in orthodontics) and an unbelievably bad slouch that I didn't realize I had until after I graduated from high school. My fashion sense was determined by my parents, who bought everything for me. They wouldn't buy me jeans, anything low-cut, or short skirts. I also had no clue about makeup because they didn't like it. I grew up thinking that looking fashionable was something that would be utterly beyond me, but at the same time I thought it would be so cool to be a model. Now-a-days I'm usually too lazy and unpunctual to dress nicely (I'm always running late), but at 26 I'm finally starting to try things out and be social. Fortunately, I can still pass for 21.
Paddy3118
· 1 year ago
Good grief! Americans are just across an ocean from the UK. Are you truly that different? Can you not excel academically and in sports? Can the school student not be happy independent of their academic record?
Tell me that you went to a bad, a-typical school. With your essay, and certain teen films we see over here, it paints a cruel and selfish portrait of American school life.
- Paddy.
Bored Nerd
· 1 year ago
Ah, the brits learn our dirty secret. This essay makes a lot of sense to me. One thing you said was very interesting to me:
"There was something else I wanted more: to be smart. Not simply to do well in school, though that counted for something, but to design beautiful rockets, or to write well, or to understand how to program computers. In general, to make great things."
I couldn't agree more. This explains a lot. for example, I'm a grade-A nerd (quite literally) but I don't try hard on boring assignments. I can admit I' m a slacker, for several reasons. First, I don't _need_ to try hard. I get good grades anyway. but also, I'd rather work out a tricky computer program or make yet another useless geometric picture-cipher than spend extra time reviewing for a test I know I'll do well on. nerds don't have time to be popular because they're thinking about things on a more abstract level (or maybe that's just me). I'm a nerd, but I don't care much about grades. It makes sense, really. in the article you talked about the meaninglessness of grades and tests. I'm smart enough to realize playing the game of perfect grades is a useless as popularity (well, almost). I just have more intellectually stimulating things to do than worry about my clothes. or obsess over essays. after this rant, though, I need to add that I do try hard on interesting assignments. I'm a perfectionist if I want to write a good essay for its own sake, if not for the grades. And a good report card is the ticket I need to slack off. Pass a certain point, and you can spend class time doodling on graph paper.
Anonymous
· 1 year ago
Im a Kid In And Enlgish School And Its All True
If Your Not Confident Enough Pretty Enough Fake Enough
Then Your Not Accepted
And If You Try Hard To Get Notcied You Get Called a Suck Up
Theres No Way Of Winning Its Quite Depressing ...Thats Why I Can't Wait to Leave School Not Because Of The Work Because Of The People
nerd killer
· 1 year ago
i beat up nerds like you ! i grew up killing your friends and my parents were the same ! us cool people hate you you scum bag ! eat dirt! i rape you in the showers while you scream my name 'again captain scott' i love ur buttocks grrrrrrr u nerd
Street saavy
· 1 year ago
You'd have gotten a eyeful of mace.
Non Rapped Nerd.
· 1 year ago
Oh wait, I do believe you just proved his point. Thank you for your perfect example. ;D (ironically, unless the nerd in question is being tortured by PE I see no reason for them to be even near your stink locker rooms)
Shovinus
· 1 year ago
Haha another idiot, I love what you wrote nerd killer, brilliant out burst, I think only my dog could have written something better. You stupid piece of insignificant shit. If you are cool then I hope I am not, I would hate to be the link to our Neanderthal past that you are demonstrating so clearly. You are the reason this world is in caos, you are the reason there are so many wars, you very exsistence is proof of devolution and lastly you are so stupid you probably have no idea what I just wrote. :) Have fun.
Scarred
· 1 year ago
So true. One thing you didn't touch on much though is that a lot of us never recover from the psychological damage done during this time. I never did.
who cares
· 1 year ago
LOL, im 36 now, from the UK. I'm reading posts from other people in the UK saying how different life must be in the US, but I have to disagree. I can draw parallels with what you have written with how things were for me, being a nerd at the bottom. Maybe the other posters with their perfect views of english school life were just like the adults unaware of what life was like at the bottom. And as for the 'Schools in England involve 85% of school children being socially capable of holding a conversation on their own...' bullshit
Fatima
· 1 year ago
I graduated in 1999 with 200 other students in the mid-west, and let me tell you this is exactly how our school was. Our school was small enough that the nerds and the freaks fit at one table, and we shared enough traits it was hardly worth differentiating. I despised the entire system so much that the idea of college turned my stomach because I believed it would be an extension of high school except I had to pay for it. Now I have a career with a fortune 500 company, a husband, and two kids. Looking back I see the same traits you reveal. I remember telling myself at the time that the things I occupied myself with were more relavent, but that doesn't stop the sting of teenagers' cruelty as it's happening to you. You just endure through it and hope you discover you're right when you hit the real world. Fortunately I was. I did, however, have to put real effort into correcting my social awkwardness that had, indeed, become a strange form on defence in school.
Me
· 1 year ago
I'm from the UK, and I'm in 6th form and what you said appiles to my school and I think every school. This year in 6th form I've noticed a change in the social structure, all of the smart kids seem to be grouping together and the 'popular' crowd seem to have their own group that isn't really considered 'popular' anymore. In about year 8 I was friends with some of the 'popular' crowd but I didnt like them very much because they were always bitching about each other so much. That's why i tend to habg around with the 'freaks/nerds' I find them more friendly. True I dont hang around with the very odd people, but I wish I had time to talk to them more, because I am sure they are actually very nice people.
super-nerd
· 1 year ago
the life of a nerd is so difficult. It would have been easier if at that time we were able to understand the reason why we were different. Another reason a nerd mey not have been able to fit in was because he\she could not make sense of this fictitious social hierarchy...due to the fact that nerds were superior. Nerds generally are more aware and more true to themselves...we can see if a society is based on false values. What they prize we despise.
Ben Buurman
· 1 year ago
Thank you man.
I am a High School Nerd just like the ones you talked about here, and what you have said is extremely relevant, and is also an inspiration for when I get the middle finger in class for knowing what pi is.
Just 3 more years ;)
the simpsons!!!!
· 1 year ago
hi. i'm in 5th grade and live in australia. i don't think i'm a nerd even though i'm smart(and i mean REALLY smart) everyone kind of ignores me. i've only got 2 friends and everyone else has like 50 friends. thanks for your message, it has really got me thinking about stuff!!! =)
F
· 1 year ago
Hey man... I would probably be one of those "freaks" you discribed, and I would like to thank you for bringing some of this out into the open. I've been saying this shit since middle school, and I finally found someone else with the same ideas.
Hey, I'd just like to say thanks and that your essay is brilliant, I'm out of high school now, two years, but I still remember what it was like and while I wasn't usually actively picked on (I wasn't a small kid so I guess potential bullies thought twice often as not passed about grade 9), I was still ostrasized and it's still effecting me now, I spend alot of time in recluse just thinking about myself in the scheme of things and.. regretably often of my place in the social heirarchy that exists among people my age. Your essay has really helped put some perspective on things, at least another perspective to my own that I can consider,
Thankyou
Admin Dude
· 1 year ago
great essay man, I'll come for more : )
matt
· 1 year ago
If I were to be caught reading this now (at school) it wouldn't be good.
Rachael
· 1 year ago
I am a senior in high school. Often I feel myself losing faith in the world and in people. But like you said, that is because my world is high school. It's fake, cruel, and often just full of superficial alliances, drinking, sex, parties... Often I feel off center, like the world doesn't fit with me...I am fortunate enough to have formed acquaintances and a solid group of dependable people...(no one really bullies me now that I have "grown") Yet, I remember the worst years of my life, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. I was lost and alone. I can relate to what you wrote here completely.
aseashell
· 1 year ago
im not smart but i am considered the highest popular group
Timbo
· 1 year ago
Great essay dude you really hit the nail on the head. I wouldn't call myself a nerd because I've occassionaly hung out with the "popular" kids but there have been plenty of times when I feel like I'm on another planet from everyone else. I'm a freshman in college and all I can say is life gets better every year. I think the quote that's sutiable for this essay is "life my not be the party you hoped for but while there you should at least dance".
RHCP rules!
Vorlondel
· 1 year ago
Your essay is truly a God send, while I suffer no real pain from individuals now, for I’m a Jr. in High School. Also, as you stated, my father just so happens to be a geek (he was in on the first green screens), who was left to his own in school. However he was an introvert so his proportional solitude was bearable, and desired. Also i am apart of a wonderful program called Academic Decathlon, which is a place where nerds (or non unsmart people) can live in comfort. i my self was so received to find that in this heaven (a certain teacher's class room) are people SMARTER than me.... I was stunned and joyed. so the nerd herd lives together, in harmony and we naturally scare off all jocks and the like.
I, for the record, would like to reaffirm one point: I don't have perfect grades... nor to I really even care about the grade beyond getting accepted in to collage. My passion is Math and my hobby is writing randomly. I neither need nor care about the grade because my life doesn’t revolve around them. Grades are only as good as the person behind them.
-Vorlondel-
northfacekid
· 1 year ago
I am a nerd and proud. Nerds are accepted more in my school because we help the popular idiots with homework
Shovinus
· 1 year ago
Hmm nice collection of thoughts, I have not read it all because man it is long but here are some of my observations in an english not american school, we to have a hierarchy but ours is less brutal than yours, children here are often protected from bullying more. These observation are not global, some do not obey these as laws. 1st observation - To become popular often you first need to believe yourself to be above others, if you do not believe this yourself then how will others? An automatic response to this is to believe you have the right to pick on those you feel are below you. Once you do this you notice it gains you popularity and often will continue to, until your popularity is based on your ability to belittle others. However a smart person learns quicker, everyone gets trod on by someone, and a smart person very quickly learns empathy, the ability to place themselves in someone else shoes. I know myself I could never belittle anyone else for a simple reason - it could be me, and so my popularity never grew via this method. 2nd Observation - It is human genetics and most animal genetics that automatically make the strongest and most confident man or even woman the alpha man/woman and not brains, and it is true alot of people have one or the other and not both. Why? why dont clever people wish to make themselves footballers, and compete? Well often they dont see the point, it is hard physical work, why would you need that if you have brains. Actually you are looking the wrong way, often people become clever because instead of going to kick a ball around, they stayed in reading, or even watching tv (yes tv can teach you somethings) again drawing from my experience, I liked to play football, but I liked to read just as much, there is another reason I prefered to stay in (see obs. 3). Observation 3 - Smart people often lack good social skills as children, they see things differently and do not like to talk about meaningless things such as going to school, they wish to talk about possiblities and things that often the less smart have no idea about, and this will always be one of the biggest dampers to conversation, People hate what they dont understand and so the less smart will try and shut up the smart, again this is automatically seen by others as a show of power, and so one loses rep for not standing up while the other gains for pushing down. They also lack the social skills for other reasons in ome cases, for exam they consider other people more (see obs1) and so do not wish to push in and so the conversation will go on without them saying anything (not good), when they do say something it will be misinterpereted because they know what they mean,but telling it to someone of less intelligence is not so easy (like trying to open an excel 2007 with excel 95) 4th observation - I actually have met some very intelligent popular people, who for the very simple reason that smart is seen as bad do not wish to be seen as smart incase they are disrespected. Alot of these reasons work back and forth between each other, however it is good to know that those that have problems normally get passed them as the get older, though to say that the hierachy is not there in adults would be wrong, atleast the way people see each other can stay the same for life, I know grandparents that still despise the smart/popular/sexy/ugly for no reason other than it is what they learned to do in school. These are my thoughts, maybe I am wrong, and I agree with most of what I read of yours.
Shovinus
· 1 year ago
Oh to update my observations, to all you clever people out there, I was once belittled and among the unpopular in middle school, but in high school I learned something, number 1 rule to get along in life well - DONT CARE - go and talk to those people you think are more popular, have a laugh with them, show that you are not uncomfortable talking with them, sure at first they may still kick you but after a while they will get used to you, never push it, learn when to be quiet and when to talk. Do not hate them because they are different everyone is different, how are you any better than they just because you have brains? or to you popular guys how are you better just because you look good? By the time I left high school there was hardly anyone that I was not friends with because I learned to accept them for who they were, all of them, and they in return respected me. This maybe harder for you to comprehend in america, where judging from tv you have a really *ucked up social system, but I bet the principles still work, use your brains, watch other people, learn from them. I am trying to help you because I know my time at the bottom was not nice, while my time at the top was brilliant. I know there are some meat heads out there who will reply to this saying something highly intelligent such as "That was the biggest load of turd ever." to those that do - if you aint got something nice to say - "SHUT THE HELL UP" PS it helps if you do gain some muscle to defend yourself ;)
Shovinus
· 1 year ago
You seem to think that popular is based on the footballer, cheerleader, ideal of a person, this is wrong, you have to understand, to be popular, by definition you just need to have alot of people like you, you dont need to be in the coolest group. For example if everyone in a school was friends with everyone else in the school who would be popular? answer everyone. What you guys want is people to like you yes? So be yourself. For the benefit of the younger me, that kid who is getting bullied for being different, be yourself, do not allow other people to push you around. Talk with people dont block them out, do not be shy, if you are shy people will see it as weakness and will prey on it and you will just become more shy. I may sound like a blathering idiot, and sometimes it is hard to communicate exactly what I mean. However I have been from the lowest of the low to the highest of the high. I am not stupid, I have an IQ last tested of 150, but none of it matters if you do not have friends, they are what support you, they are what make your life bearable, you can strive to be like those footballers and cheerleaders if you want, but you have to ask yourself, what do you really want, to be a stuck up arrogant morron or to have friends, because at the end of the day I will always go for having mates. "divided we fall, but together we stand tall". I will tell you a story about the difference having friends can make instead being the guy that makes everyone else life a misery.
"I was once in a club with my brother, fairly drunk, my brother is 2 years younger than me and a "popular" kid, I love him though, and will protect him no matter what. We were just standing talking to other people when another kid came over and started to punch my brother, again and again, with another big guy stopping people from getting near, at first I was shocked because I had no idea what was going on, I thought maybe he had done something, so I started to walk over and said to the guy "hey what are you doing, what has dan done" at this point no-one else was coming at all to protect dan (my brother) and the big guy just says "stay out of it", so I said "no he is my brother, tell me what he has done" at this point the big guy swings for me and I catch his hand, the guy that was hitting my brother stopped and swung for me 2 but I catch his hand aswell and hold on so they cant swing at me, at this point about 30 of my friends, swarm around us and push us apart, my brother walks outside and heads for home, while I am standing in the middle of a crowd of people all stopping these guys from getting anywhere near me, it is then that I realised who my friends were and that I would not give them up just to seem like the popular person. Those were all people who I had just accepted and talked to as people. It is even funnier that I later became mates of sorts with the big guy because he respected not only the fact that I was the only to stand up to him but that everyone else rushed to protect me but not my brother. "
There are many bullies who you may think you are above or better than, there are many snobs that you may think you are better than, footballers, cheerleaders, even bums, and tramps or your average joe. Let me put you straight, and if you are clever and of open mind you will understand this - "You are wrong". You are not better or worse than anyone around you, you are different everyone has been shaped by different lives, by different genes, but at the end of the day if you do not understand that, you are just as ignorant as a racist, nazi, or whatever, that may be hard to take, and I am not saying you should let people get away with what they want, you shouldn't I am saying that you should manage to understand that - in their shoes you WOULD do the same. So next time you talk to a "cheerleader" or "footballer", talk to them not as a superior or inferior person, but as an equal. Most important of all even more than being clever are friends and enjoying yourself, life, is for the living, live it, dont hide away and watch it go by. If you are lonely you can come on here and talk, I will talk back if I am around, but dont get sucked in to this, get out, make friends. Please listen to me, I have seen too much misery in this world caused by one man wishing to be better than another, as soon as the world understands we can live as equals it will be a much better place to live.
someone who is anonymous
· 1 year ago
do you know that some people just dont want to be popular or just like to be alone sometimes? being popular doesnt mean you're loved, it means people who dont even know you like you because you're pretty or you do something for them. being loved is for who you are, that's not the same thing. being popular sucks, they're the most miserable people of them all.
Shovinus
· 1 year ago
I am not miserable, I am one of happiest people around, I wanted to be alone aswell, I spent my time hiding in the library in middle school. I wanted to be alone, but not because I didn't want friends, because I wanted people to stop picking on me for being different. Having too many friends can be worse than having none at all, if you have too many they are likely to not be true good friends, and you may turn around one day to find they have all moved on or something, but that doesnt mean you should not be nice to everyone. I am not trying to preach here, if you are happy where you are at, I say to you stay there, but if you are one of those people who like me used to sit in the corner alone and sad, try and change it, dont keep sitting there, the problem propbably wont go away. I have a good friend who is stuck in a rut that she has worked herself so deeply she does not want to do what is needed to get out, she has left it too long and ahs got used to being sad and alone, I watch her and I try and pull her out but at the end of the day she has to be the one to change her situation, I can provide a ladder but only she can climb it. My message to anyone stuck in a situation alone is that you dont have to stay there, climb out, find your strength of will, the longer you leave it the worse it gets.
I dont know what more to say, there are people out there who want to get you, who are so selfish and narrow minded they cannot see beyond their own eyes, but be happy in knowing that you are not them. They will have problems all the rest of their lifes most likely, whereas you can step out and change your future. Also be happy to know that if you look properly there are probably alot more people willing to help you than you first believe. I am one but in every society there will be others there to help.
L
· 1 year ago
I think acceptance is part of this issue, not just a lack of trying on the nerds part. Although there are of course those of us that just wish to not be a part of a large group. I was a nerd who liked to be alone much of the time, not to say that I didn't band together with a few other nerds who often had the same thoughts I did. Once you are at the nerd level of society in school there is very little, if anything you can do to change your status. Even being exactly like the 'popular' kids won't save you. I used to get irritated with kids who thought that changing would save you. I have no intention of allowing my children to go through the same things I did in Jr high and high school. I don't know as I will attempt to change the current system so much as change how I work within it. I will probably have my children home schooled and if they are interested in my business they can learn over my shoulder or I will find someone they can learn with in a business they enjoy. I am aware they will still have to go to college to get the piece of paper that says you can have this job but that part will be a formality and hopefully easier because of the knowledge they will already have.
Alastriona
· 1 year ago
That was a fascinating essay. Very nice job writing it.
As a freshman in high school (and one of the smart girls who was saved from nerd-hood by good looks), I must say I agree. I went to an amazing elementary/middle school combo school, but once I got into high school... challenges disappeared. I've told a senior friend who agreed with me that the only reason I still go is so that I can get out of it, aka get into a great university so that I WILL be challenged.
Klasanov
· 1 year ago
As a senior in HS and a fellow nerd, I agree with this. Good essay.
As a guy who can't throw a football worth a damn and of average fitness level, I'm not high on the "popularity hierarchy", but I'ce also learned to not really give a damn, either in my senior year. Realizing this fact has made life a little easier.
Of course I'm also a bit older (20 as opposed to 17/18) due to not doing so well at school before (homeschool is much worse, let me tell you), and as a nerd, I'm not by far of the most unpopuar kids in school, mainly due to having built something up in creative writing class with my input (I've been doing it for quite awhile) and quirky humor. Of course it isn't the nerdiness that is getting me anywhere, but that I've learned some semblance of social skills in my time.
I think the biggest poblem for me growing up was never fitting to any of the "social norms" you find anywhere. I can get along with most groups now without really having to conform... Um, hard to explain what I mean, just that as time went on I've been with this or that group but always as an outsider. or something.
Damn.
I mean, good essay. Really hits home and gives me more hope for the future.
Peck
· 1 year ago
I completely agree. I'm a nerd too, and every day I get commented on who I am and the way I am. But this essay made me realize some important things and completely changed my view on society. I thank you.
14 year old Australian.
· 1 year ago
I am in High School at the moment, and agree completely with the essay. The Australian School System seems to be much the same as the American. I have changed much of my life to become 'popular', but i really don't think it is worth it. I started Grade 8 as a nerd and then became someone i am not sure if i like, for popularities sake.
Anonymous person
· 1 year ago
I agree with everything on this essay, it is 100% true.
Dan
· 1 year ago
Thanks for writing this essay, I've read it a few times. It gives me hope to carry on in school.
Alec
· 1 year ago
I just wanted to thank you for your essay. You have articulated some of my feelings in a compelling, eye-opening way.
Jess
· 1 year ago
I'm startin High School in 2008, and i'm smart but it only shows in tests but not normally. Everybody is buds with me.
Dan
· 1 year ago
Good luc with dat
Exhaust Fumes
· 1 year ago
As a mature adult that is experienced with social dynamics,
Before you can succeed in the external world, it's best to master your internal world. Zen meditation helps speed that process up by clearing up mind blocks.
It helps ease mind waves in a sense that it ask you to accept things are they are as they appear in the moment.
I recommend the Book "Zen Mind: Begginers Mind" to get started if you are interested.
1337
· 1 year ago
American Rugby players haha. I am a nerd but I am also a rugby player in Australia, I am going to a selective school I wonder how they will define nerd there.
grasshopper
· 1 year ago
Thankyou very much. You are lucky to have the support of good friends, like your group who did the popularity tables evaluation at school. I think you have a gift for writing, offering a simplicity and humour to deep seated primodial motivations, that usually bind denial even in nerds. The rogue male of the pack, often leaves to live alone as he doesnt want to compete or jostle within the group paradigm. Often he dies alone, away from the warmth of a mate and security of the group and family. Many famous and important scientists were persecuted and celibate..Adulthood does not always change things for nerds... many do not actively contribute to society because of the damage they suffered from ongoing persecution since young, often never developing social skills and becoming compulsive addicts and other mental diversions. Bullycide is not limited to schools. Oppressors too suffer. Bullies are not usually happy. The removal of ignorance is a path to enlightenment, for the detached buddhist. In the christian model of relationism to society, love and forgiveness conquer the bully whos gibes fall flat if they have no effect.....
grasshopper
· 1 year ago
Err, just explored you site. I thought your writing was too good for a school kid... my apologies. I just had an idea. Nerds couldnt really protect wife and children or the homeland from invaders as well as jocks? Imagine a country where nerds were given a place of power and art, science and engineering leapt ahead, peaceful, loving and understanding relationships prevailed.... the barbarian hordes would invade and plunder all that was good. No? Maybe the olde religions are correct in the teaching of light and dark, balance, yin ang yang....unless a new renaissance is possible? Will the lion really lie down with the lamb?
Hmph
· 1 year ago
Grrr... that would be a much better world to live in. Highschool is even worse... from what I've seen so far, no one is downright MEAN, but everyone just sort of ignores the smart people. But they have their friends, right? I'm a bit of a nerd myself and I have a few great friends. i have just as much fun as the partying idiots who think they're so cool now but are going to end up being lunchladies and minimum-wage workers.
stranger
· 1 year ago
i think that it's hard being in an amarican school .... i wanted to be an exchange student and study in amarica .... but i have second thoughts about it.... couze of that popularity thing ..... =) but from what i hear i thing that what is written is 100% true
grasshopper
· 1 year ago
Maybe nerds are idealists and not realists? Nerds have character defects and shortcomings like everyone else, they are not saints. "Unable to meet life on lifes terms" is a 12 step program of addiction saying. Is the accumulation of knowledge an addiction. Defined, addiction is a compulsive obsessive repitition of behavior that causes suffering to oneself and loved ones. Freud said neurosis is part and parcel of industrialized existance. In villages, nerds were medicine men and lived apart and were respected. Free nerds from the pain of public schooling!! Free all from public schooling!! Move to scandanavia and attend better public schooling!! Viva la revolution!! Smoke pot and escape!! Hang out with Kevinjonas he is god!!
majorghn
· 1 year ago
When I was in high school in the early to mid 70's in Pittsburgh PA, their was another group not mentioned here "The Greasers" which started in the late 50's to about 1979 when it got a "new" label by the well-to-do class of kids "White Trash" & later on "Trailor Trash". The "Real" Greaser class of kids were low income whites who smoked cigarettes, shop lifted constantly, had a juvenile record in many cases, cut classes, spen many hours in home detention, got suspended from school frequently, usually for fighting or got caught smoking in the bathroom. They wore their hair above the collar and slicked it back with oil based hair tonics, wore black stove pipe pants with low cut black Converse tennis shoes, and the main symbol of the "Greaser" was the "Black Leather Jacket" which in those days cost around $70.00 a tidy sum in the 70's. These inner city greasers could fight very well and often carried switch blades. I lived in the suburbs that bordered the city line and our high school football team played against many of the inner city teams....fights after the game were common. I, as a lower middle class kid, along with my older (1.5 years older) sister, indentified with the true greasers, as we had many things in common. Us neo-greaser class did not get messed with very often by the jerk football jocks because we traveled in packs and had a pretty good network of fellow greasers who would back us up if we got into a fight in school or if we did lose a fight we would call upon our fellow greasers and plan our revenge and "jump" the offender off school grounds, usually at a nearbye store where kids hung out after school or at a dance or game and pounce on the offending jock and beat the snot-out-of-them. We wore the same greaser attire as the inner city kids and pretty much did the same things as them except for getting arrested for serious crimes other than under age drinking, fighting, and shoplifting...sometimes a few would get arrested for stealing a car on a dare or for tshort term transportation. My dad and my uncle were cops so I had to be especially fast at running when the cops were spotted when we were doing stupid stuff as mentioned. I never got caught but my sister got caught sniffing glue by my uncle, she evetually ran away from home at age 16 and never looked back. I quit school mid-way through tenth grade....had 190 days absent from school anyway, so why not. I left home at 17 and bumbed around a bit and evetually went into the Army at 18 and got my GED while in the Army. I came back to Pittsburgh for about 9 months and didn't like civilian life and went into the Navy as a medic and later on while in the Navy started college classes and several years later got my B.S. degree. I am now a successful business owner. As far as nerds in my school, went we referred to them as the "smart kids" or "brains" and did not bother them, we actually got help from them occassionally (tutoring) for upcoming test, of course we gave them an offer they couldn't refuse...we even sometimes rescued them (if they were the ones who had helped us on a test) from being hasseled by the schools jocks...the school's jocks were out #1 enemy and we did not need much of an exuse to trounce them. Their were no computers or electronic gadgets like they have now, so the word geek was not formulated until the early 90's when home & business computers started to become more common place....this all led to the birth of the "Geek" or "Nerd" in the American high school vonacular....but as more kids got PC's these "geeks" became someone you needed to know and be friends with, even if it was on the "sly"....I heard a common practice among the popular kids in schools who had geeks help them with their home PC's and got "outed" was to say "oh, I paid some geek to fix my computer"..which in reality was bunk, their was usually no money exchanged at all, the geek did it to gain favors, like not getting hassled in school or if it was a popular girl, would do it for for the "ogle factor" or just to be liked for awhile by this great looking girl.
If your a true "smart" nerd reading these comments, remember one thing above all else.....what you do or not do in high school will matter when you graduate from high school...whether or not you go to college or not. Think of high school as a big fish tank with lots of other fishes......all of the fishes in the tank will eventually be released into the ocean, how popular, good looking, or athletic some fish may be in your tank will mean nothing once they are released in to the ocean......these good looking, popular, and athletic fishes will have an overwhelming amount of competition once released into the ocean with billions of other fish...their once "top-of-the pecking order status while in the tank may just now leave them feeling like a "Guppy"......it will be the smart fish that were in the tank who have the best chance of surviving in the ocean...brains matter folks. Stick to your chess clubs, your computer clubs, business classes, and stalk your school and local libraries.....it is the "Mr. & Ms. Bill Gate's'" of the world who will ultimately excel and be successful.....smart successful people in the "real world" are admired, needed, and in the end.....DO Get The Girl (or guy as-you-may).
depressed chick
· 1 year ago
I googled why and got this long essay... its just life for every1 2 treat u like shit no matter who u r!!!
Mike
· 1 year ago
Brilliant, I'm currently in High School and although nerd and smart are no longer interchangeable, much of what you said rings true.
Irish Aspie
· 1 year ago
Well written. It's not so aggressively bad as that here in Ireland. The divisions exist between groups but it's not so harsh. I was part of a kind of outsider group, some nerds mixed with pot users. Intelligence was not so frowned on by peers, moreso social ineptitude. By fifth (15-17) and sixth (leaving cert) year most students had developed an understanding that people deserve equal treatment. I don't know if this is because of transition year or not, it's an optional extra year in secondary education where there is some community work and work experience (a taste of the real world).
I do know that I visited my Aunt in America when I was about twelve I think I met a grouping of 'popular kids', a group of older siblings of my cousins friends. It didn't go well, I said hi and they looked at me as if I was a repulsive insect before returning to their previous conversation. I didn't understand at the time why. I know now, that, while I regarded them ar rather rude, they viewed themselves as superior to me and thus beyond their notice.
I would agree with the point of bordom causing the various class divides and I feel that I was lucky with the ammount of great teachers I had. The only class that I was kinda bored with was history/geography and that was because I kept wanting to correct the teacher (due to the fact that I was really interested in both subjects and was reading beyond the levels he studied). After a while I just started bringing novels in, it was a laugh, he didn't notice until another student pointed it out.
FlirtyChick
· 1 year ago
this bitch at school tried to be better than me and get me to be jelous and it worked so im going to plan b
Fernando
· 1 year ago
Great essay!
I think that what you describe applies to nerds/geeks everywhere. At least, it applies to what I lived through at a good public high school in Spain, the country where I grew up, during the eighties.
I don't think the problem in the US is necessarily worse than in other countries. The advantage American nerds have over nerds elsewhere is that they can come to Silicon Valley or other geek clusters and live happy lives right after high school graduation or right after college (if they didn't get into one of the Bay Area's schools and wanted to get a bachelors degree before going to work). .
For me to come to the Bay Area, I had to work very hard through college to be among the top graduates of my class, so I could be hired by an American company based in Spain so I could be transferred to the Bay Area. By the time I came here, I was already 26 and I found myself as an immigrant here. Even though this is as close to a meritocracy as it can be humanly possible made, you American geeks enjoy the advantage of having been born and raised in the country which is home to geek wonderland (therefore don't have to deal with language/cultural barriers)! So please, be thankful to that!!!!!
J Broshek Enyeart
· 1 year ago
There are things (like the stuff talking about Italy) in the Japanese translation that aren't included in the original (or I'm assuming the English version is the original). Why is that?
hi
· 1 year ago
this is retarded. your a nerd
Irish Aspie
· 1 year ago
(addressed to hi) You're a kid, I'm guessing that anyways. Insulting things that you don't understand is an indication of stupidity.
It was a very well written essay and happens with various levels of harshness in schools in the developed world, it depends on the teachers and the subject matter as to how severely the groups are defined.
amber
· 1 year ago
I'm pretty much a nerd in high school right now, and i think your essay is really good, and mostly correct. i think that i might have gotten a bit lucky though, because there're a lot of nerds at my school and while almost none of us are popular, we're not so much bullied as mostly ignored. School almost always seems pointless, too. i mean, when will i ever need to recite the different types of igneous rock or anything?
Dutton
· 1 year ago
So what does it mean to have something real to do? For the most part, the adult world seems to have answered that question with "survival." Not particularly inspiring, yet what more is being pursued by the vast majority of people? When we work as an employee to fulfill the responsibilities of our position we are working to increase the profit and thereby ensure the survival of the company. We do it not because we personally care about the company, in most cases, but simply because we wish to be paid a salary that will allow us to survive. We have kids so that we gain an illusory sense of surviving forever, through successive generations. A few even seek to excel in their professions to leave a name or some other public landmark behind after they die, a part of them that will survive on after their body has ceased to be.
I would say the meaninglessness of the teen years is mirrored by the meaninglessness of the mid-life crisis years, after career success has topped out and the kids have gone off to college. Nowadays people in that age group seem to have found renewed meaning through trying to survive longer, thus becoming obsessed with health fads. Or they want to survive into other lives through reincarnation, and so take up spiritual paths.
I suspect the only reason teens feel the sub-society they are in is meaningless is because their survival needs are taken care of by others. Ask a gang banger in the projects who doesn't always get food for dinner reliably provided by a struggling working parent or a strung out junkie parent how bored he is with life. He probably is disinterested in school except as his marketplace for the drugs he will sell to finance a trip to Burger King and hopefully some bling and more. Suburban middle class comfort is what has made all of life so irrelevant to the teens you write about.
What I want to know is, do we humans ever get past mere survival as the answer to life meaning? I don't want to come up with better ways to make people of any age group feel like they can meaningfully contribute to survival issues, and so foster a more organized and meritorious social system for them to live in. That would be better than the current situation, but still not good enough, still just a delay of existential angst until the later years. Is this all there is to human existence, merely to exist?
Ron B.
· 1 year ago
I thought this was very well written and forwarded this to half our friends. We had our own subculture in high school precisely becasue we realized how fake the whole thing was, and we wanted to get out into the real world. And after a college education where I went out and studied everything about the real world I could, I have to say I'm very happy with my life. I certainly wouldn't trade it for anyone else's.
This is a really great essay, and since I'm in high school myself, I know exactly what you're talking about. I was a nerd in elementary school, and though I may not be called that in high school, I can be considered as one of the smarter people in my class. The only reason why I'm probably not viewed as that because I do associate with the "popular" kids and I don't put them on a "pedestal" as most teenagers my age do. I really feel that action should be taken to change the stereotypical high school world because it hurts me to see the smarter individuals in my school breaking under the pressure of what their own classmates put on them. Sometimes, I do come home from school and wonder why school seems so pointless. It makes life seem like a dull and cruel place. All I want to do right now is to escape what seems like a dead-end life and experience greater things. Does anybody know any way that I can help stop this? Because I really want to make things better for the good of future generations.
nerds.have.all.the.fun
· 1 year ago
I loved reading this. You discussed things that I've always wondered about myself, and for that I thank you.
=) (Sorry, just had to throw that out there.)
taille
· 1 year ago
i just read this, and i can honestly say that i am one of those popular kids, i am not trying to rub it in or anything but i too admit that i have lived for what other people say for the past 4 years. i am currently in my last year of highschool and it is sad that i only realized this now, but after reading your essay i've realized that there is nothing wrong with being smart, or even being popular, but if it prevents you from being who you are then that is something we should all worry about
Sheila Casey
· 1 year ago
I graduated from high school almost 30 years ago and this essay caused me to muse on my own position in high school. The author makes a great point, altho the defining atttribute is not IQ. It is caring more about something--anything--other than social approval. Some people, and I know I was one of them, have a strong sense of self and aren't dependent on approval from others to feel good about themselves.
I don't think it would be possible to rank myself popularity-wise, in high school. I paid attention to my own friends and my own projects and didn't notice what the other people were doing, I was too busy with my own stuff.
By the time you become an adult, most people have become less dependent on social approval and more willing to be who they really are. It sounds like kids are more insecure now than they were in the 70s. That's sad.
Just aim for self-love and the rest will take care of itself. You can't please everybody, so find the people you respect and enjoy and they will be easy to please!
Sherman
· 1 year ago
It's interesting to see most of the disagreements come along with incomplete sentences, funny grammar and awful spelling. I think this proves all.
Emily
· 1 year ago
Haha, that's what I thought too. XD
Emily
· 1 year ago
I really, really enjoyed reading this. I am already a senior, currently attending high school, and I always wondered about this. I know for a fact that I am not a genius but I am an artist. Which is sad, because you don't find a lot of artist/s around regular high school. So most of the time I feel like I don't fit in. My friends in middle school got popular after 9th grade. They dressed and acted differently to make themselves to fit in and it really makes you want to vomit. Ew! XD Anyhow the fact is that I don't feel comfortable around those type of people. Thank god for giving me a chance to be able to meet new friends during my senior year. I never realize it until recently but I just love to hang out with nerds, dorks, in general smart people. I feel like I can actually relate to them and they are awesome!! How I see it at my school is that the way you dress already shows where you belong. It's quite sad. But I do agree nerds get the upper deck once they are put out in society, while the dumb ones lives in huts or somehow manage to live through paycheck to paycheck. =]
P.S. Please excuse me for my bad use of grammar.
French Cat
· 1 year ago
Excellent article, a pearl of intelligence.
It is astonishing to realize how much you are right by comparing schools and prisons, especially by reading this sentence in your reply to the comments that followed your article: "At my school, it was easy not to learn anything, but hard to get out of the building without getting caught."
However, I disagree with what is according to you the cause -or at least one of the causes- of that situation; you said: "I'm just guessing here, but I think it may be because American school systems are decentralized. They're controlled by the local school board, which consists of car dealers who were high school football players, instead of some national Ministry of Education run by PhDs."
French schools are not controlled locally but by the Ministére de l'Education Nationale (Ministry of National Education), and the problems are the same than in the US schools. At the time I was at school, we didn't have the same kind of categories you can find in the US schools (I'm speaking about "Freaks", "Nerds", "Popular ones", etc.), but the situation was precisely the same: being smart meant being bullied, and it's still the rule nowadays. Besides, from what I've heard thanks to people who are working (not as teachers, but as wardens whose work force them to be closer from the children and the micro-societies they create than school teacher) in French schools presently, this trend has eventually gained these schools: pupils separate themselves in affiliated groups such as "the gothics", "the skaters" (skate-boarders), "the rappers", etc.
Notice that I've precised that these wardens, are *close* from the children's world, closer than teachers: that's the node of the problem; having a statist national ministry in charge of schools run by PhDs won't be a solution as they, as well as the teachers and local school directors, won't have a real idea of what's actually going on in schools, being too far of the everyday life of (bullied) children to see anything.
So the solution, IMO, is "simply" to change the whole school system. Easier to say than to do, obviously; anyway I think that a good thing to do so as to expose the problem would be to make a documentary showing the daily life of a nerd at school, which won't certainly done or at least not before a long period of time...
By the way, a couple of days ago, in a French school yet not known to be a "difficult" one (understand by the euphemism "difficult": "ruled by violence from local gangs"), a teenager has stabbed another teenager for, what was previously thought, apparently no reason. But the reason has been discovered later: they had a quarrel about "which one would rule the school".
... Prisoners stabs each others so as to determine "who rules the prison" too... :]
FC
Carol
· 1 year ago
You achieved the seemingly impossible - you made sense of the high school mentality! Great article and so true.
AnotherNerdThere
· 1 year ago
Not so harsh Paul ! That system persecutes its better elements .. Such a stupid scuttling. Not the work of a nerd, be sure.
Marcus
· 1 year ago
i thought the essay was insightful in several ways. It shed light on several of the contributing factors which create this "prisoner's dilemma" including the contributions of the environment (suburbia) as well as the impact of modern methods of social stratification on human behavior.
I was called a nerd twice, that i can remember. I really abhorred that idea. But i think people, over time, had a problem labeling me because my social network was vast and crossed a lot of boundaries. And the attempts at labeling me really ended when i started playing football and after i started driving to school. As I began to buy-in to "acceptable" modes of social participation, I became more palatable.
But things I chose to do in high school, were guided mostly by my own volition. I was really trying to be popular - at school anyway. I didn't feel particularly popular at home. And I wonder if that is what made me prey for the other kids. Could they sense that I didn't feel that acceptable to my parents? So I wonder what the quality of the relationships between the parents and the kids who consider themselves - and are social labeled- as popular. I've spent almost as much time as adult as I did as a child. I think popularity and conformity still plays a factor. People still admire people that have money, are good looking, socially adept, fame, and high positional authority. But I suppose its easier to surround yourself by many people who think as you do as an adult. So if you want to remain socially awkward and focus on being really smart then you can do so relatively comfortably as an adult rather the closed system of junior high and high school.
Marcus
· 1 year ago
Correction - I wasn't really trying to be popular - at school anyway.
A
· 1 year ago
absolutely brilliant, you've mentioned things which i've always wondered about and even though i am still in high school, i am mature enough to understand what ur rambling on about. i live in the UK currently and things aren't very different here either although maybe less extreme than in the US... great work though!
Aaron
· 1 year ago
I read hackers and painters, and i have to say.. This is helpful, it really is. I just want to let you know that you're changing lives
Jerica
· 1 year ago
nerds choose if they are a nerd by acting gay
Tim
· 1 year ago
It is ridiculous to see you write that and know that you actually believe it. I personally cannot understand why you talk about "gay" as if it were a bad word, like "stupid". You think nerds get a hard time in school? How about a little consideration for the homosexuals? What makes you think they choose to be that way? There are so many little things in life that we "choose" to be. It's a wonder that we can change it as much as we can, seeing how society tried to block us into our molds and solidify us. Nerds don't choose to be nerds, because even though we say that they choose to pursue intelligence before popularity, that was decided for them by the way they were brought up, by other factors that influence their lives. In the same way, people don't choose to be gay, so stop tossing the word around like it's some type of filth!
Blade Learing
· 1 year ago
You mean the nerds choose to be nerds by not acting popular?
Dude, bad lag, the article already said that.
The only thing you added is an implication that not TRYING to be popular is a bad thing.
Eo
· 1 year ago
For me, the worst has been high school. All my friends in middle school were tried and true best-friends from elementary school, with a few others later on; I was actually fairly popular (despite being a little weirdo with hair that tangled into knots within five minutes, and who sat like a gargoyle, unable to put knees down) because people knew I had friends, and I also happened to have a ton of confidence. It helped a lot that this was in the middle of the city, and most people at the school were poor, so my cheap clothes weren't a source of mockery.
When I entered my highschool, in mountainous suburbia, life abruptly became hell. I knew absolutely nobody, not a soul. My hair, way of sitting (I still do that; I've realized with some pride that I sit like L from Death Note), my baggy and INCREDIBLY unfashionable clothes, and the fact that I knew the answers and didn't suppress them to look like a hot little idiot (the ideal girl at my school) were a source of vicious mockery.
Being a girl, I don't get beat up; however, my combined oddities seemed, by late September of the first semester of Freshman year, to have convinced most of the school that I was literally retarded. After all, how could a person not straighten their hair, dye it platinum blonde in streaks, wear skintight jeans and T-shirts or miniskirts... etc.
The problem is that my highschool is entirely composed of people who are at least in the middle-middle class; people who aren't can't afford to live around the school. Most people are rich or upper middle class. I am probably in the upper low or the lower middle; our house was cheap, and we don't spend money on the stupid yuppie things that everyone else does. These people have lived in this town all of their lives, in most cases, and believe, as you said, that this is actually Life. They believe that MTV is an accurate representation of what they should aspire to; the bar for appearance is set outrageously high, because my classmates can afford it.
Last year culminated in the mysterious leaking of the information that my role model happens to be Joseph Merrick, the Elephant Man. After a day of bullying, missed assignments, loneliness at lunch and generic mockery in the halls, at a time where I was in tech week for a musical, was too depressed to eat almost at all the whole week, and danced six hours a night in rehearsal -- I'd had enough. I was walking to the bus home, getting snowballs thrown at me, and trying to ignore someone who was just being stupid and annoying, about Naruto or some crappy show. Anthony, one of the biggest jerks in the school (and, predictably, a star on the football team) spotted me and began, loudly, to trumpet like an elephant.
It was about then I was going to just stand there and scream at the whole situation, when one of the special ed kids walked up and hugged me and said it was all right. Great kid, and for a while after that, I was almost happy when people whispered about my 'retardation'.
Thought I'd share that story -- Anyway; I love this article. A lot of the time, I get fed up with school in the extreme; I'm only in second semester of sophomore year, and things are unbearable again. My (violently bullied) friend from back downtown loves this article too; it helps make a little bit of sense of our stupid high school lives. When I feel like just quitting, I read this article, usually in conjunction with The True History of the Elephant Man.
---
· 1 year ago
I thought this was definitely worth reading. I'm a 17 year old highschooler and noticed a lot of good points. There were some that I never even thought of, while others seemed to critical (sorry I'm not more specific.) Anyway, I think that you can be smart and popular. However, the kids that try the hardest to be popular usually are the most popular. In any event though, popularity is determined before most kids even realize it. Looking back on my schooling before highschool even I wanted to kick my own ass. I'm just as smart now, and still have free time for sports and friends, however, I already have to worry about a reputation that is no longer like me. Actually, I'm not even sure where I'm going with this... I thought it was an excellent essay that provided a lot of insight, good job and thanks.
123
· 1 year ago
The most popular kids do not torture the nerds because they do not feel outranked by them.... most likely because of similar physical attributions. And then the middle classes notice that these nerds are not taking any heat from the most popular kids…. while the middle classes are taking plenty of heat from them…. so the middle classes do what people do best and spread the hate.
Maybe the nerds have more in common with most popular kids than think. It seems to me you had enough time to draw a map and label people with your ranking. I doubt most people took the time in school to do this. So in your own way you contributed to social rankings; only I doubt you ever had the nerve to share your map with anyone outside of your ranking. Because you'd be stopped... most likely by one of the most popular kids. I mean this is the first I ever heard of someone drawing a map for this purpose… and I doubt you would have ever posted this map for others to see…. instead you gave it power by keeping it to yourself and only those you trusted could see it.
What is even more interesting to me is…. I wonder if this secretive world of your map drawing and the most popular kids scheming is really so different. You say a girl was afraid of being made fun of for being seen with a nerd because her friends would make fun of her. Well isn’t that telling in itself. It appears that the most popular kids would make fun of the middle classes for talking to nerds, instead of the most popular kids being mean to the nerds themselves. So the nerds went on thinking the most popular kids are the most popular because their not so bad, but the truth of it is just as the middle classes were unaware of cafeteria maps…. nerds were unaware of the real reason the middle classes were treating them so badly.
So wouldn’t it be interesting if the middle classes found out about the cafeteria map that categorized popularity then the middle classes may appear more justified in their cruelty towards nerds… and then if the nerds found out just who was making fun of the middle classes for talking to nerds-the most popular kids. Then what would be…. Probably both the middle classes and nerds would try to better themselves and not be so judgmental leaving the most popular kids to fend for themselves.
But before I jump down the throats of people who screwed me over….my question is… do we need to be divided to become united? And is that what the most popular kids are guilty of…. division? Lastly is it purely in their self-interest or without it is life more chaotic?
I always thought of the most popular kids as such a tightly knit group while everyone else was more scattered. But the reality is they've already turned on each other so since they are self proclaimed survivors they ensure that others do the same but all the while keeping things on an even keel.
123
· 1 year ago
My feeling is some popular kids or as I have come to know come to call the self proclaimed popular kids come from some disadvantage whether its parents who are tyrannical, have some physical abnormality like a 3rd nipple, or whatever... either way high school literally plays itself out as survival of the unfit. And they will do whatever necessary to shine light on others inadequacies to secure their place at the top of the food chain. Its that saying do not start a fight with someone who has more to lose. And its usually the nerd who willingly backs down from a fight. But maybe its just the guy hes up against has some body image complex and is jacked up on steroids- either way you get my point.
Mozen greezin
· 1 year ago
The best thing to do with the school system would be to dismantle it.
Leonard
· 1 year ago
as a quasi-nerd from the sixties I identify with your premise, college prep and some college , made my money as a carpenter, using mostly what I knew by age 10 essays ARE FOR EFFECT. Surfing in all form is, however, real. Unfortunately the social groups set up in High school seem to follow many through life. The "experts" in addictive sciences say a person stops growing socially when their addictions begin to bloom. From my perspective, growing up in the 50s and 60s in the outskirts of LA it appears true.
jas
· 1 year ago
I am the average kid, in secondary school. I'm 13/f and seriously think that this article does has a point. But sometimes, and believe me i watched it happen, when someone wants to be popular...It doesn't work. Because the populars kids don't want you to be popular. Trying to be popular just is natural to anyone, and your right, most people in their right mind would never want to be popular. Why? Because we know the back stabbing, the rumours, the bitchy lies, and (the worst) wearing the wrong thing! Who the heck would want to try to be perfect ALL the time?
anonymous
· 1 year ago
this essay is really brilliant. we are from Brazil (we will actually enter in high-school this year, but we don't think it may be very different), and here the life for nerds seems to be easier than in the United States... anyway, we have always been very criticized (sadly even by teachers) for our unusual habits. those teachers always said that we should "go out" more and "study less" (believe us, some teachers actually have said this to us in a serious way). many students have also made fun of us for the fact that we prefer to stay home and read about history and learn math than playing sports like most people in this age do. we just like the way we are, it doesn't hurt us; studying (not just school-related material) is a good practice and it doesn't affect people around us in any negative way, so why do they complain? why do they think that we should go out and "have fun" (in their own opinion) just because other people do? can't studying be fun? "fun" doesn't have an universal meaning; each one should be able to define fun as the things they like to do, so if we like to stay home and study, it's fun for us. fun doesn't always have to be "going out" and "socializing", and doing what the majority likes to do: not everyone has to like going out. someone has actually said us once: "you can't dislike going out, because NO ONE I know dislikes it.": this person certainly didn't understand that each person has a different taste. we also thought that WE were the ones who had some kind of problem, but now we realize that they (those who judge us by our unusual taste) are the ones who are misunderstanding the whole thing. we come from a "family of nerds", and we like being part of one, because our family supports us and understands us. some people think that nerd habits are undiscussably wrong, but they are being very small-minded. we liked what you said about American high-schools having no purpose. we also think that many teachers preffer to give students long and pointless work with the only purpose being the grades: the point shouldn't be the grades, it should be the learning. we also liked the comparison of the American high-school with a prison: we compare it with a jungle. one thing that we noticed here where we live is that, until 4th grade, the teachers always emphasized that they are like mothers. but, from 5th grade on, there started to be more than 1 teacher, and those many teachers for each class seemed not to care about the students' behaviour anymore, and that may be the point where their minds start to become completely twisted. the word for "nerd" in Brazil is "CDF" (an acronym in Portuguese which means "iron head"), meaning someone who studies very much. but what we don't understand is that "CDF" is used as an offense, and most people don't like being called that way. but why? what do most people dislike so much about people that like studying? this is strange, and certainly has something to do with the failing educational system, which is very bad here in Brazil. this is of course the situation in a whole different country, but it is very similar. NOTE: feel free to correct our English, if necessary.
leo
· 1 year ago
Amazing. I really like that. It really helps those nerds who arent introspective to realize that, and usually those that havent dont have the time to condition themselves
chelz
· 1 year ago
I'm a 17 year old nerd and there's no way in hell I'd want to be in the popular crowd, the guys all seem like horny jerks and the girls are mostly ditzy drama-queens. But just because one is a nerd doesn't mean he/she is unacceptable or gets pushed around at all. I'm a straight A student and a real science fanatic, but I don't take shit from anybody and consequently nobody gives me problems because they know I'll just throw it back in their faces, and those who don't know that learn quickly the first time they try anything. I'm usually the one pushing preps out of my way in the halls and if someone is being picked on I'm usually one of the people that glares the bully down and gets in his face until he lays off the other kid. But I'm not mean to popular people that don't cause problems, I'm never really offensive just defensive so I'm not a bully. As I said before, I am a nerd with no fear of what popular people think, for example I broke in on a drinking party once with my airsoft pistol and managed on my own to shoot every person there and took their alcohol and poured it down the sink. The abercrombie preps were too scared I was going to shoot them again to try to salvage their alcohol. But I don't hold it against them and I didn't tell their parents and even offered them rides home, so they don't hate me or anything and even if they did that would be their problem. And I don't think I have one nerdy friend who feels depressed about his social status or resentful of the popular people, because my group of nerds is completely happy with the great friends we have. If you're gonna enjoy your high school life as a nerd, it works best to have no shame and no fear and find stuff that makes you admirably different, (like I'm a female science nerd that plays paintball with the guys,) and to find a bunch of happy friends to mock society with. This was a great essay with a lot of good and relevant points, but I don't think it said enough about the group of strong-minded nerds that don't submit.
I do like everything stated about the school system though, I never thought about it that way - that school is just an institution for storing kids until they become of use. Although for the first half of my day I attend regular high school and am force-fed all the useless (for me at least) facts about history and rhetorical analysis, the second half of my day is spent at a magnet school full of specialized courses in math and science that are very useful, and the teachers genuinely care about turning us into the best scientists we can become. So I do agree that in general school is exactly as the author interpreted it, but the point of my whole response is that there are always exceptions.
(p.s. I don't know if anyone has pointed this out yet because I didn't read all the responses, but there is a grammatical error in this essay. 10 points to anybody that can find it.)
Alfred
· 1 year ago
"But to who?"
It ought to be "whom."
SJ
· 1 year ago
The use of 'till' is also incorrect ;) Great essay.
pushkina
· 1 year ago
These are the grammatical problems I found in your response:
"But I'm not mean to popular people that don't cause problems," ...instead of 'that' should use 'who' because you are speaking of people instead of inanimate objects...
"it works best to have no shame and no fear and find stuff that makes you admirably different, (like I'm a female science nerd that plays paintball with the guys,) and to find a bunch of happy friends to mock society with" should be: "to find a bunch of happy friends with whom one can mock society" [best not to end a sentence with a preposition..]
Bobby Rio
· 1 year ago
Great points.. I am going to have to link to this article.... I've started a complete program titled "how to be popular in high school" on my site... I haven't addressed many of the issues that you've brought up and I think this will compliment my progra nicely
sabinaq
· 1 year ago
Hi... I like your article, it rings true for me. My question is, why is this so much more true of North American secondary school, than secondary schools in Europe, for example? I'm Canadian, and experienced much the same kind of thing as you describe, so I would say that Canada and the USA share the same model of High School. However, things seem different here in Europe. I live in Spain, and have been here for 5 years. Prior to this I lived in Norway for 9 years. In both places what I have seen is really different from what I lived through in my own high school years. Kids in these countries seem much more integrated into the "real" world, and much less isolated from it than in the US and Canada. 2 things come to mind: 1. The kids seem more connected to the adult world, to adults in general. Less suspicious of adults, more trusting of them; they seem to have more of a feeling of sharing the same world, and of thus being less like prisoners, and more like interns... people who are at a different stage of their experience, but in the same shared space as the adults. 2. The kids seem less polarized into popular and unpopular groups. I haven't seen kids who are typical "unpopular" kids here in Spain. I don't remember seeing any in Norway either. Yes, there are groups of kids, groups of friends, but I haven't seen the unpopular ones as clearly as I have seen them in Canada and the US. I think they exist here, but there seem to be fewer of them, proportionately. The structures of the social groupings the kids are in seem less rigid to me, here.
All of this begs the question of why it is different in North America. I don't know - but I would like to!
madmatthew
· 1 year ago
Fascinating essay. Thanks for it. But as the parent of a high schooler, I can tell you that (admittedly from the outside) things seem significantly more humane for nerds and misfits in the '00s than they were in the '70s. I think Bill Gates has had an impact... though of course athletic talent still seems to trump all. But today there are math and science magnet schools, varsity letters for stuff like band and choir and academic achievement. And there seems to be much more attention being paid to vocational education, and no, not just in auto shop, which is where you seem to be going with your plea to make high school work have more relevance to what we all do in the real world. (One of my 17-year-old son's math tests recently consisted of real-world packaging problems that could be solved with equations.) And there seems to be significantly less toleration for open bullying and physical violence. However, it's still tough -- my 16-year-old 4.0 GPA daughter recently went through a "breakup" with a close female friend that featured absolutely stunning psychological warfare. But I have to hope that voices like yours are breaking through.
al
· 1 year ago
"Teenagers seem to have respected adults more then, because the adults were the visible experts in the skills they were trying to learn" Do you really think so ?....
just read this
The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.
this is by the way from socrates c.470 BC - 399 BC
I like your text but some of you theories are way off ;). I guess you are not an expert on many topics you write about ...thats somehow dangerous.But when you keep it simple with eating tables ranked A to F you are good.
"The cause of this problem is the same as the cause of so many present ills: specialization"
so why is that an ILL ? I am pretty sure no generation hat more whealts, health (lived longer) and more knowledge...So why is it ILL ?
SEb
· 1 year ago
Nerds aren't one step ahead, they simply lack social intelligence which is replaced by additional skills in subjects like (i know this is stereotypical) math, physics, chemistrie and (not so much though) biology.
SS
· 1 year ago
To the previous poster: To me (a nerd, and proud of it), there are two types of nerds. There are the kind who lack social intelligence, but they are generally happy where they are. And then there are the kind who are very socially aware. They have a tough time, because they don't fit in, don't really want to fit in, but don't want to be a loner. Anyway, there you go.
dat chick
· 1 year ago
i think the essay was good .... and it made sense .. but than as i thought about the popularity of people in my highschool its complitely different because the most popular people in my highchool are also some of the best students too .... only some smart kids get made fun of and it has nothing to do with how smart they are .. its just because of their personality and because of the fact that they think they are so much smarter than other students and they think that other students are dumn but the reality is .. they are just as smart as them .. they just chose to go out and play sports and not study as much .... if these "smart" kids were so smart they wouldnt be wasting their time making maps of how popular people are ....if these kids are so smart why cant they figure it out that they just chose to not be popular ... if they are so smart why cant they find happines .. the thing is as seb said "they simply lack social intelligence " and thats why i think they are considered outcasts .. and not because they are too smart ... i dont know if this made snese .. because sometimes i dont express myself clearly but i hope it did... anyway peace ...
Linda
· 1 year ago
Guys there is a world outside America, i.e. the world, which experiences similar problems. I can say from experience, that unpopularity is not about being intelligent or not being intellegent, in my personal opinion. Popular people can be very smart, unpopular people can be lacking. So in my opinion it is about being "different", especially in school which is a primitive introduction to adulthood (but an important one). Anything outside the square threatens people for some reason, it's human nature to conform to what is safe and known. My only encouragement is to be excepting of "different". This will enable you to grow as a human being, to allow your focus to be on your inside, not on everyone else's outside. Maybe smarter people realise this truth early, where as people focused on popularity (ie: outer) need abit more time purely to realise what is more important. The thing I wish to convay is compassion, acceptance and non-judgement of all people is a stronger place to live. Focus on what's important, and try to never loose compassion for people, because we are all the same deep down. Hope this makes sense from a 101 year old all the way from Australia....
S
· 1 year ago
It's not just public schools that have this problem. I go to a Catholic high school and I have actually tripped on purpose and sprained my ankle just so I could sit out of a pep rally, which to me are the root of the entire sports over smarts problem. I do think, though, that the rebel/nerd division is blurring a bit, because I don't do drugs, but I would tentatively classify myself as between the two (not caring about the rules, but not purposely going out of my way to break them, plus I don't usually study for tests/quizzes/etc.). I also avoid sports as a matter of personal preference, even pride, but I am friends with most of the fencing team at my school. However, they seem to be one of the only sports teams that have mostly "nerds" on the team who discuss Shakespeare and the meaning of life/42 at the lunch table. I have found, though, that the most popular people at the school are not the so-called "jocks", but the drama kids. There is a definite hierarchy in the fine arts program, with the upperclassmen drama people on the top.
tu
· 1 year ago
umm, i dont think this is very true anymore. its 2008, smart kids are getting more popular, and the popular kids... well, they're getting alot smarter. it seems that dumb kids are getting ostracized now. i;ve seen it happen. some football player, or some regular kid says something really stupid and they get ridiculed. the girls now a days they love a smart boy, but the girls that act like this are usually smart themselves. but, it seems that the kids that still act like "smart is uncool" are the kids that are some what poor. i assure you, this essay may be true 4, maybe 5 years ago... but now, its the smart kids that get the girls. even if your not very attractive, people will know you. my freind, he's black, he's not the typical stereotype of ghetto. he's VERY smart, and the girls seem to LOVE him. even the really pretty girls love him, they all know his name and want to be around him! i didnt understasnd it at first, but now, its all too clear. it seems to make me wish i was as smart as him, i dont even care if im ugly. i jus want to be smart, but i dont want to be smart because i want to get GIRLS. i want to be smart because i think it would make me alot happeier, i would understand things easier. do well in school and please my parents much more.
Brian
· 1 year ago
This might be true, or this might be just a one off. For this to be different, there would have to be some major changes in American suburbia, which doesn't seem so. Some black kids have always been popular because of this reason: They were seen as romantic heroes, struggling against the Big Bad of Racist And Unjust society. This was particularly true in the sixties on university campuses. It might have seeped through. Personal advice from me to you: Start reading more books, your spelling is horrible. Cut back on watching TV show with at least 2 shows per week. In those two hours you can read really good books. Start with Harry Potter, they're really good, exciting and completely spell-checked .... ;)
Emperor of the Moon
· 1 year ago
I think you just cleared up the first 18 years of my life.
Thanks.
Brian
· 1 year ago
Impressive article, although I'm somewhat suspicious of the phrase "nothing to do". If this is defined as not learning a skill as young people used to do in earlier centuries, then yes, I see what you mean.
As a European, I've always wondered, when watching US highschool-dramas, why the popular crowd could stay so popular while being so hated by the majority? This kinda clears that up for me.
This sentence made me think that there's a film in here somewhere: "Kids are sent off to spend six years memorizing meaningless facts in a world ruled by a caste of giants who run after an oblong brown ball, as if this were the most natural thing in the world. And if they balk at this surreal cocktail, they're called misfits." For example this could involve a group of adults, being sent of into a strange surreal prisonworld, with literal giants and a mandatory game with mysterious rules. At the end of the movie the adults would transform into children, the prisonworld would be revealed as a suburban high school.
Such a film would be highly instructive for nerds. Like you said, if only someone has told you that it was prison instead of making you read Lord of the Flies ... Yah ... if ONLY ... ;)
Be of good cheer.
Jenny
· 1 year ago
This is, I suppose, true to an extent. I just started out high school so I am not really sure how the whole system works, but then again I go to a Canadian school. In terms of overall grades, I would be considered a nerd with a 96.4% average on my first term report card. I don't see the popular kids talking rudely to me or anything of that sort. The higher ups in my school hierarchy have a slightly above average intelligence to a low intelligence (that is, if intelligence were ranked by school grades, which I think is hardly the case). The middle groups have all sorts of intelligences. The, what I consider lower groups, have mostly low intelligences. Of course, I probably know less than 10% of my school population and I don't pay too much attention to the student hierarchy, but this is what I've noticed. This is to basically say that I cannot entirely relate to this article, but if this is how some schools really are, I would whole-heartedly agree with you.
GoGoBear
· 1 year ago
Where is the authors name? I would really like to know more about this person to see and understand if they have any qualifications for the position they have taken, or is this all nothing more than his "opinion".
The first half of this "essay" was in fact interesting....some points I agreed with, some parts I found insightful, and some premises I thought were incorrect and off base. Mostly I thought to myself that the issue at hand was less universal than the author implied - what he described was not the case at my high school for example, and my girlfriend agreed that it was not the case at her daughters high school either...but in both cases we attended schools where accomplishment and achievement were and are rewarded (I attended one of the top public high school in the United States...my girlfriends daughter attends one of the most prestigious private schools in all of Canada). Ont he other hand, my girlfriend did agree that this sounded a like like HER high school, as her parent did not have the means to send her to an elite academic focused private school.
However, by the middle of the essay, it is clear the author is just an overgrown tortured soul still writing in his teenage angst that he has not been able to grow up and past. They hated me because I was smart...they hated me because I was more mature...school is useless anyway - it is nothing but a prison.
Dude...you got picked on because you were a social misfit. The same urge that prompted you to right this drivel...that need to be heard in order to prove how smart and more advanced and evolved you were...that is the urge that got you ostracized in high school. Sure, lots of what takes part in high school is banal. But lots of what takes place in adult life is banal as well....things like wanna be intellectuals leveraging the wonderful democracy of the internet to final be "heard", for example. Ones in ability to deal with this reality...dismissing what was not of interest to you without being so clearly dismissive of those who it was of interest to....the ability to pick up key clues about the social behavior that is the very fabric of our society (the good and the bad)...is both part and parcel of true maturity (which isn't just measured by intellect) and of a proper emotional balance.
Everyone else managed to get along except the kids at the "D" table. You've decided it was because you were some much smarter and more mature. That isn't the case. it was because you were so self absorbed and vain that you purposely stood apart to bring attention to yourself...and that is what you got.
"if these "smart" kids were so smart they wouldnt be wasting their time making maps of how popular people are ....if these kids are so smart why cant they figure it out that they just chose to not be popular ... if they are so smart why cant they find happines .. the thing is as seb said "they simply lack social intelligence " and thats why i think they are considered outcasts .. and not because they are too smart"
It appears a teenager understands something that you haven't figured out, even in adulthood.
Get over yourself. Really. You're an adult now.
ariel
· 1 year ago
I agree. I thought the first half of this essay was kind of intriguing but then it just went way over the top.
I definitely think that i can relate a little bit with this author though because i know that i just choose not to be popular. I don't have the time. I have AP classes, debate, and work... no time for parties and talking on the phone about nothing for hours. I wish being popular didn't take work... that would be nice.
C
· 1 year ago
I know that in "Re: Why Nerds are Unpopular" you deal with the "but some smart kids are popular" objection, but I'd like to give you a reason to take it a little more seriously: the demographics of elite universities.
I am a graduate student who TA's at a top-25 (but not top-10) university. The students here are very smart. They're also very attractive, and they dress well. While a few of my students are socially awkward, this is not the case for the vast majority of them. I suppose it's possible that the majority--or even a large minority--of the students here were 'D-table' (or C-table) kids in middle school and high school and suddenly learned how to dress well and fit in when they met all the smart people here, I have a hard time believing that. I have a much easier time believing that these smart kids were mostly A-tablers than D-tablers.
M Cruise
· 1 year ago
Dans votre histoire, c'est évident que tu crois que les <<nerds>> sont <<nerds>> en choissant-en choissant être intelligent ou populaire. Pourtant, le <<nerd>> est devenu une icone et populaire dans le moderne lycee publique; bien que cela peut être dû à la montée de la tricherie plutôt qu'autre chose. Et alors, je suis un <<nerd>> et je suis populaire aussi. Eh oui, mon frere est populaire mais il est un <<nerd>> aussi. Je crois que ce n'est pas votre choix. Non, c'est vos parents, n'est pas? Il y a trois types des bonnes parents. Des parents sont tres intelligents ou voudraient que ses enfants deviendront intelligents. Des parents sont tres populaires ou voudraient que ses enfants deviendront populaires. Et, il existe des parents sont tres populaires et intelligents ou voudraient que ses enfants devidendront tres populaires et intelligents. Donc, mes parents sont du troisième type et alors je suis d'adieu, le commissaire de l'éducation, un athlète blousons (sorte de), bénévole à l'hôpital local et mon président ou dirigeant de plusieurs clubs et d'activités dans mon lycée.
Aussi, je suis d'accord avec GoGoBear et je ne suis pas un Francophone. Je suis le cours de francais depuis quatre ans et je n'ai pas utilize un tradectur electronique.
carlos
· 1 year ago
I like your idea. I am not popular too but I want girls is so beautiful.
adam
· 1 year ago
Go go bear, you clearly view yourself as intelligent when infact, you employed words in your reply which made no sense what so ever in relation to the text. You clearly overused the dictionary on Word to make your response look impressive.
A High School Sophomore
· 1 year ago
The problem in my case is that I could very well be a nerd, but I could also fit into every other group in the school. I'm popular with the 'popular crowd' but also in the sense that I am popular among everyone. It's nice to be liked but it means I don't have any real friends. I jump from group to group because I like interesting people, but nobody really trusts me because they don't know who I am, and because I seem to have different personalities. It's not that I have schizophrenia or anything but I can't get used to any one group of people, instead I like different people for different reasons. I also get swallowed up in wanting a boyfriend not just because it's the norm for my age but also because I genuinely want someone to understand me. All of this is kind of depressing and I can't really relate to anyone... just thought I'd share.
HOOAH!
· 1 year ago
Why does this matter anyways? I'm a chinese guy and I was born in HK. I came to the States when I was 8. And I am not being racist. But most white people are very judgemental, fake, and stereotype everybody. That's why the "nerd" issue comes up. There is no such thing as "nerd" outside of the US. I hate the American culture, not the Americans.
Kendra
· 1 year ago
I know what you mean. Most of the people i used to go to school with were fake too. Mostly the girls. just wanted you to know that you arn't alone. This kid in Rural Alaska hears you!
Me
· 1 year ago
I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with some of what you've said. Not that your completely wrong, but some of what you've written seems (in my opinion) somewhat outdated. I'm currently in 9th grade and I guess I would be considered a “nerd” by some and a “freak” by others, so I believe I have a reasonable vantage point for my observations. First, in American schooling the idiots win. Not just popularity, but in grades too. (which you seemed to have not seen) Due to the fact that the school system is designed for the slower end, in order to pass you must blindly memorize facts and are not required to understand the subject itself. While that may seem like something that would make school easier for the “smart kids” to pass, it in fac makes it harder. Those who have a higher range of intelligence usually have a much tougher time passing because the questions tend to be worded in a different way then our brains are thinking. Secondly, as you pointed out already, the majority of teachers don’t care anymore. But I hate to say they all are like that. I’ve had many teachers who accomplished their job and still had the energy to go beyond their duty (throughout Middle school in particular). I honestly believe that when the government took over public schooling they ruined it for everyone. Lazy teachers merely teach for the SOL requirements now because that’s all they need students to pass. For example, when I entered middle school I was shocked that teachers kept teaching not only after the SOLs, but up to the very last day . When the SOLs ended in elementary school, we had gotten to watch movies the last two or three weeks of school. These are just two things I felt I needed to defend, but I do agree with a good portion of what you have here.
Amy
· 1 year ago
I go to a school for gifted kids. About half of us are in the enriched program and the other half are average kids. The school has nearly entirely segragated the two halfs, it's an interesting, generally beneficial dynamic. The only bullying I've heard of was within the two factions and there isn't much. I am a nerd but I belong to an entirely independant social structure from the stereotypically popular kids so I don't even think of them. There is no particular hierarchy to the nerd half but a distinct one within the 'normal' kids. Independantly the students have basically seperated into two schools that just happen to be housed in the same building. There are 1600 people at my school, about 400 in my year and I will probably never meet 150 of them and never have a single class with them. I would think this sort of setup is highly unusual but it's all I've known and the teachers have long excepted it.
Kendra
· 1 year ago
I see what you mean. I was the only white kid in all of high school where i live. Now i am homeschooled because people ould make fun of my race, the boy i liked, and (not to be flashy) my smartness. I would get notes in my locker about my "retardedness" from other boys especilly this one named Bubba. Now who in the hell you name your kid Bubba? You can already tell by his name that he is not smart and this kid teases me when i don't tease him? What a messed up world we live in! I useally have an intire picnic table all to myself at the cafateria. Such is the life of a nerd. *sighs*
amf
· 1 year ago
nerds are better off alone with their pc's!
Shipmodeler
· 1 year ago
Please leave me alone with my pc. Thats money for me, and money is power.
amf
· 1 year ago
i like nerds because they do my projects...
Shipmodeler
· 1 year ago
I used to do the bookreports for the bullies, just so I had som protection around school. Did the math for others for the same reasons. Where do you fit in bully or nerd.
bc87
· 1 year ago
My high is lame, it's all about homework, no matter who you are... No one cares about nerds and crap. It's all fake. It's about who is going to what university.
Shipmodeler
· 1 year ago
Who is going to what university is also very fake. Just go and Learn, learn all you can. It does not really matter what University it is. What matters is you and how much you really want to acheive. Use nerds can make it anywhere, not just at Popular universities.
ehutch
· 1 year ago
smart kids are not automatically unpopular, its more the social ineptness that does them in. i knew a select few kids that were both popular and very smart but it is uncommon. i was pretty smart and pretty cool but not to an extreme either way. doing well in school never interfered with my having lots of friends, both nerdy and popular, kind of throwing out the rule book. the kids i chose to avoid were those who spoke poorly of even their close friends. school is a training ground for dealing with all types of people, unfortunately, many kids failed that class.
Shipmodeler
· 1 year ago
I went to school in the 60's. Given the differences of age and time, nothing has changed. I can agree 100% with article. Looking back, the most popluar High school jock was captain of the foot ball team, is now selling used cars in LA, while I was on the bottom, just did my taxes for 2007, and had 121,000 dollar pre-tax income last year.
Bootsie
· 1 year ago
It's "clique", not "click". And, whether you realize it or not, everybody labels. Even you. Get that straight real quick, and you might be able to circumnavigate some crap.
Tanner
· 1 year ago
Ok you are all wrong. You think just because someone looks diffrent and has other interest doesn't mean you can label them nerds. Preps are not better then nerds nerds aren't better then preps. So what I hang with the cliks People that are a verity of diffrent kids. So you all are retarted. people who thing they are better then people in a lower class "are the lowest". I don't care if people make fun of me because they are just critzing them selfs. So Im not like most people I hate when people label other. So if you hate them stay away from them a shut up. Just like two weeks ago this kid started to make fun of my friends I just went up to him and punched him so god damn hard in the noes that he was weeping on the ground. Thats why I hate Those who label.
Bootsie
· 1 year ago
It's "clique", not "click". And, whether you realize it or not, everybody labels. Even you. Get that straight real quick, and you might be able to circumnavigate some crap.
Tim
· 1 year ago
Good insight!
I'm a high-school senior right now, and this makes perfect sense to me.
It's been strange for me, though, because I became one of the non-conformist "freaks" in middle-school, and I was on the wrestling team throughout most of high-school. I was kind of alienated wherever I went: I was a freak, but I cared about studying hard; I was a wrestler, but I was a freak and I studies; I was a nerd, but I was a freak and I wrestled. This perspective of mine led to a lot of insight. Your article pretty much solidified what I'd been feeling.
I think that the reason American high-schools are so much more anti-intellectual than schools in other countries is because consumer-culture in America is so much stronger. Getting high-school kids to spend all of their money on new shoes and clothes is good business. I know kids that work over 20-hours a week to spend their entire paychecks on nothing but clothes, eating-out, and weed.
grasshopper
· 1 year ago
Saw a show last night on BBC world about schools in China. Nerds galore! This cool kid put holes in his eraser and the class and teacher humiliated him and made him cry. Think opposite of what we know. The debate over originality and creativity vrs route learning is interesting. China does not produce free thinking designers and innovators. These are often the cool rebels, who are often kind to nerds even tho they have standing. I was made fun of at school and even now. People speak against things or people they dont understand, a sign of stupidity
looloo
· 1 year ago
this article is amazing i am fourteen years old and i have a whole new outlook on middle school because of this. im not going to look at the school nerds in the same way any more and im not going to look at myself in the same way anymore. i believe that almost everything in this article you wrote is true and i want you to know that it has changed something in me
JJW
· 1 year ago
Great insights, every school kid should read this. Compulsary, with exam questions! ;)
An observation: In the Netherlands kids are divided according to intelligence at age 11-12. Most nerds end up in the highest level of education between age 12 and 18-19 (below that there are 3 levels for decreasing levels of intelligence, ending with schools that only teach practical hand-labour skills). There are many problems with such a system, mostly based on the issue that intelligence just isn't easy to measure (partly solved because based on merit students can still move up and down the levels during their school career). But for a lot of students it created Nerd Heaven. I was surrounded by 500 students who like algebra, who like learning Latin, who wanted nothing more than build their own rocket. Sure we still got bullied by kids from a nearby school (let's say a school for level 3 out of 4, with nerds being in level 1 out of 4), but at least we could band together. So maybe this is a potential solution, regardless of its many imperfections.
tyut
· 1 year ago
The kids who aren't smart are also jealous too.
jjkl
· 1 year ago
here in kenya, smart people are teased in mostly in private skuls where i go.
jjkl
· 1 year ago
i think smart people are cool
Jenny
· 1 year ago
I graduated high school in '79, in RI, and attended a very small junior high and a fairly smallish high school. I agree with some of your points, but on the whole there are far too many generalities.
In mine,we had the jocks and cheerleaders, but they also included kids who were called "socsh", popular intelligent kids. There were those of us who were referred to as nerds/geeks, and there were the heads/burnouts (druggies), but they were never considered natural allies. Then there was a loose contingency of people who didn't fit in anywhere.
There were instances of a few jock bullies, picking on whomever (always male) they found to be a convenient target, but it wasn't to the extent Paul seems to have experienced. Cool girls could be cruel, but again, it wasn't a constant. Perhaps because we were such a small town things weren't quite so extreme?
I believe that to the extent we segregate into groups, and don't talk, share more experiences that differences are hardened.. but that applies to adults as well. Adults not pick on "nerds"? I don't know about that, but adults do pick on and abuse each other. Paul referenced Bill Gates, well, Gates might be highly intelligent and well educated, but he is also manipulative, greedy and highly despotic.
Whatever his IQ might be, it does not automatically translate to his output being in any way sound or positive. In a way, he is acting like the worst jock bully imaginable. He uses his money and power as cudgels instead of fists, to be sure, but still, to much the same end.
He received a Nobel prize for humanitarian acts, however the underpinning of those acts were to enable him to convince African government leaders to allow a pharmaceutical company Gates was heavily invested in, to test an AIDS vaccine on poor Africans. As a result of his insidious influence, AIDS actually increased in the countries that participated in the testing. Gates will no doubt never be tarred with that fact, though his money and power sought the sort of negligent practices that were used. He doesn't have a humanitarian bone in his body.
My daughter attended a larger high school, in the late '90s. More students, many more cliques and far sillier names attached to them. She's highly intelligent, but much more outgoing personality wise than I ever was.
Of course by that time terms like nerd and geek were far more appealing than they were in the '70s and early '80s. My daughter certainly used them to describe herself. She was a trophy winning softball player (unlike me, who had always been afraid of being hit by a ball.), a computer wiz, a passionate reader. She hung out with kids who played sports, average kids, punks and goths, and she pretty much dressed in jeans, t's and flannel, and wore glasses.
As a parent, what was most troubling to me, was that students were far more segregated than I was. Instead of students being merely catagorized into "collegiate" and "business" courses, there were five or six different classifications. Students are being dumbed down, and too many of the teachers were the epitome of the negative stereotypes I'd defended the profession against for years. Kids have it much tougher now, and I doubt too many adults are paying attention to that fact.
I attended a class reunion several years ago, and was actually shocked to find myself having conversations with people I never would have talked to back in the day. Most were pretty much thoughtful, decent human beings. A few of the jocks had gone to seed. I was saddened to see that one of my old high school friends, a highly intelligent and motivated guy had destroyed his life through alcoholism. Even more saddened after the fact when I contacted old friends who hadn't attended ultimately because they were still caught up viewing their fellow alumni through through frames of the past.
Mike
· 1 year ago
I had a not dissimilar experience of secondary school to the author of this essay. The worst thing about having to survive your teenage years is that they truely do affect the adult you become. Even now as I near my 30th birthday I'm plagued by the same ridiculous anxieties-- are my clothes 'cool' enough? Do people think I'm cool? Do I like the right music? Do I have enough friends for the sake of appearing to be popular? It's ludicrous, I know. Anyone would rationally say that these are deficient, meaningless worries, but when you are aged between 11 and 18 they are the most important aspects of your life. I would also attribute school to many of adulthood's most undesirable traits-- pettiness, bitchiness, one-upmanship, back stabbing, toadying. All of these things are learnt at school.
Fredrick Von Rosseman
· 1 year ago
This is one amazing essay, incredibly insightful, it is literally everything I have thought and observed this past school year. Reading this released such a mental burden, your article pretty much solidified what I'd been feeling, like someone had stated earlier. I was under the impression that I alone had realized the sick twisted reality of life as a high school student. It is almost as if you read my subconscious mind, and wrote an essay explaining it all. Thank you for this, you've greatly impacted a confused childes life.
Little Miss Grateful
· 1 year ago
This was awesome to the highest degree. This essay described everything I've ever thought of school or teenage culture in full detail... I think I'm in love!
a nerd =)
· 1 year ago
i think that this essay is beautifully composed...I'm a current high school student. I'm not super smart and was actually dropped out of an advance program because my grades began to drop...right now I'm working hard at bringing them back up but i realized that the way my friends saw me while i was doing good in school had a lot to do with my decreasing average. I love reading...and half the time that I'm alone i read...i love poetry and even write it but i did notice the way some people, including close friends reacted when i started getting good grades and being put in advanced courses...they changed and they thought that i had...many even said that i probably thought that i was better than them. That isn't the case at all. So many people have such stereo types about what a nerd is and what they look like. They think that nerds are loners with no friends and that they can't be popular or be good athletes. I don't see why not? Nerds are just people who have their brains and their thought together and who chose to do what they believe is more important and that in simply to go to school, get an education, and excel in everything that they do. These are the people who will get the recommendations, get the goods jobs, and have a good future. Hooray for nerd all over the world!!
sharon
· 1 year ago
as a lunchlady at a high school anda mother of two graduates of 06 and 07 they were both very smart and grew up well adjusted. my question to you, do you not have parents, at least one, that cares about and truly loves you?
Fin Keegan
· 1 year ago
Outstanding article. Thank you.
Brandon Evans
· 1 year ago
Congratulations...I've never read something this long on my free will.
gorrilo
· 1 year ago
i never thought anybody can write so much about nerds! you didnt even bs any of it! kudos to u
but ya u didnt have to throw in that stuff about school being like a part-time prison while my parents work! that is depresing
Spanglefeather
· 1 year ago
Really astute insights here, and lovely writing. I agree that some of the causes for teenage misery are sociological and systemic, rather than personal. My kids, 9 and 10, are homeschooled --- people feel that their socialization must be a big challenge. It isn't. One of the benefits of homeschool is not having to wrestle with the social consequences of valuing your mental life. My kids are unusually creative. They have excellent concentration. They initiate many projects on their own and complete them without me. In our home we encourage Imagination, Concentration, and personal control of Time. As much as public school teachers value and want such strengths , the social environment really mitigates against it. But school authorities also undermine all forms of independence, since it may interfere with the social control they need for mass production of diplomas. I am not trying to change the system: just seceding from what does not work for my needs. Many parents are doing the same, regretful for causing the brain- drain. Apropos of Mr. Graham's post- high school happiness, --- according to the Myers Briggs Personality Type Index, the Intuitive Thinking types feel terribly lonely and outcast in school --- until college, where they form a large part of the population. Post graduation, they become the leaders in contemporary technological culture, which is very dependent on Thinkers who use abstraction, insight, and ingenuity in problem-solving. It would be natural for an INTJ type like Paul Graham to become a successful artist and programmer. But in junior high and high school, these types barely survive.
marcocarlioli
· 1 year ago
This is really succinctly put. I think you've hit the nail on the head with the part about just simply caring about being smart. I fear that even in third-level education nowadays there is an increasing belief that simple fascination is not a good enough reason to do anything. I was a smart kid in primary school, and I didn't get much love from my peers. In secondary school I completely slacked off. My capability in simple comprehension, attained in primary school was enough to bluff through secondary and get out with above average grades (or points as they're called here in Ireland). Sadly, having points is no use if you have completely lost direction. In secondary school my number one aim was to become a socially acceptible individual, and I largely achieved that. But I had no idea what to do next. I spent the next 4 years or so dropping out of two college courses and working for two years in construction. I'm now in my second year of a degree in philosophy.
You raise some really pertinent ideas here and they lead me to think of some others. I remember reading a newspaper article some years ago about the points system in Ireland. You need to get a certain number of points in your leaving examinations to get into a college course. The amount of points required is worked out according to the number of applicants and the number of available places. So every year kids apply, sit the final exams in the standard high school subjects ( none of which bear any resemblance to real life or even academic work. It's a test of recall really), then in august you get your points (max. 600, that's straight As in higher level courses) and two weeks later everyone waits for the Central Application Office to announce the points required for each course and send out offers to those lucky enough to have enough points for their chosen course. So what you get is high points for courses in high demand (law and medicine are the prime examples). This bears no resemblance to the level of intelligence required, or even the type of commitment needed. The opportunity to study a complex dialectical thing like the law or to become a healthcare professional, that is, a carer for the sick, is dealt out on the basis of how well you can remember quotes from King Lear or draw a diagram of how freeze-thaw erosion takes place on a hillside. What this leads to is a stratification of student-bodies. The system treats us like consumers, so those driven to attain wealth and status study the syllabus day and night, pay for extra tuition and come out with 600 points. They become doctors and lawyers. The point of the article is that they may well have been better of picking turnips. A 600 point leaving cert is no guarantee of a skilled lawyer or of a doctor suited to providing a high-level of patient care. It is also no guarantee that once in college, you won't hate every minute of it. The point is that love of learning has been replaced by a system for rooting out those who can perform tasks within a given system in the hope of reward from on high. Other students will be less motivated by the seeming rewards of diligence and will simply drop off the radar, without ever realising (until they're in the real world, and its too late) that the world at large values knowledge and skills totally different to those valued in schools. They are a very artificial system of merit. The really nerdy kids, the ones who stayed nerds throughout, sometimes in secrecy, will go out into the world and find that it is a much better place than they imagined. They will find people and institutions which value their skills and knowledge. Those who were most adept in school are often the ones who seem most petty and uninteresting as adults.
These are all archetypical descriptions and the lines will blur but i think you can see the similarities with your experience.
My own experience is that I discovered philosophy after leaving school and was astonished to find that people down through the ages spent their time thinking about abstract things simply because that was what floated their boat. And I became an avid amateur. So I went back to get a thorough grounding in the subject. I still meet people every day who ask what job I could possibly hope to find in philosophy. They find it very hard to understand that I do it plain and simply because it fascinates me. It touches on God, science, art, madness, literature, logic, AI, sociology, politics, justice. It is I think, the perfect undergraduate degree, in that it is so unspecialized. When I finish I want to be involved in studying politics, ethics, logic, linguistics, and a myriad of things. Every experience I have is richer. Pain and mental anguish are both increased and diminished by it. This kind of learning never happened at school. I hated maths at school. Now I'm reading a book on Godel's incompleteness theorems simply because it piqued my interest. I want to know about quantum mechanics. None of this is necessary for me to get my degree, but had I not started with philosophy none of these would have interested me. What job will I get? Who knows? I'm 23. I may have many different jobs before they put me in a box. We don't know what kind of society will exist in ten or twenty years time. Last year I met a woman who earns her living renting chocolate fondue fountains to people having parties. 15 years ago in Ireland, nobody had a job. If you pitched that idea to a bank manager, asking for a loan to start a chocolate fondue company you might have been committed.
I guess I'm just glad that I regained the nerdy part of me that I tried so hard to jettison in my early teens, and now I'm an adult with too many books, who posts lengthy replies to blogs on the internet, and has no idea how he will provide for himself, never mind figuring out how to support a wife and kids (if anyone should deign to marry me). And I love that. And I'm so grateful that I've had the circumstances (and the generous parents) to help me do this. Suburbia is still a bitch though.
Jonathan
· 1 year ago
"Congratulations...I've never read something this long on my free will."
Indeed.
I must say I've read some pretty insightful things in my day, but this must be one of the most eye-opening and .....just Wow! I don't even know - I can't find the words for it.
*stands up and applauses*
Bravo.
Paul K
· 1 year ago
Adults are so deliberately oblivious to the viciousness of school. I was a nerd who was picked on (kids used to stick pins in me when i wasn't looking, punch me, spit on me, etc.) and when I told my parents about it, they said I was too sensitive. When I told teachers about it, they did nothing. When I did retaliate, I was the one punished. It was a prison. I'm glad you have expressed all of this so eloquently.
john
· 1 year ago
get a life
Whitney
· 1 year ago
An example of someone who feels the need to put another down to "prove" that they themselves are better.
" When you tread water, you lift yourself up by pushing water down. Likewise, in any social hierarchy, people unsure of their own position will try to emphasize it by maltreating those they think rank below."
worldrimroamer
· 1 year ago
I think this essay is a minor masterpiece. It's nail-on-the-head. This comment is to "john". I used to be a nerd, but I'm a grownup now and I know a lot more than I knew then. If I could meet you today, I would deck you. In the end, you're the looser, because you're dumb.
Karen
· 1 year ago
What can I say? You're amazing. I'm going to print this out and carry it everywhere with me. When I read the title, I was expecting some goofy "they're just jealous!" rant, and it turned out to be something well-thought out and very cool. It's a giant essay, but I enjoyed every minute of it.
Ann
· 1 year ago
This is amazing!!!!! I have been wanting these answers for ages! It has made me feel a lot better bout myself ..... I myself am in high school and face similar problems and I think this essay helps a lot.
john
· 1 year ago
loser
Whitney
· 1 year ago
Did you even read the essay? You prove yourself to be one of those kids who try to prove that they themselves are better by putting another down.
" When you tread water, you lift yourself up by pushing water down. Likewise, in any social hierarchy, people unsure of their own position will try to emphasize it by maltreating those they think rank below."
Unkown
· 1 year ago
Impressive... We are all to Blame
ellen
· 1 year ago
wow. thanks for the insights! hope more people will read this.
Shantelle
· 1 year ago
I love my popularity.I'm a cheerleader and numer 2 in school.I'm gonna be nr 1 but shhhh;)
Shantelle
· 1 year ago
Oh! I forgot! I love to show nerds how useless are they...That's all me.
Alex
· 1 year ago
Im just about 19 and I feel like I am just now aware of what high school and the world is really like all thanks to reading your paper. I love what you wrote and Im going to show it to as many people as possible. I think people need to be made aware of what is going on around them, It's sort of like the line form the bob dylan song ballad of a thin man, listen to it and you will know what i mean. I just can't thank you enough for writing this article. If you have written anything else please e mail me your work I just have to read it my email address is ate89@sbcglobal.net. Also if you ever write a book in the future please tell me so I can camp out side my local book store and be the first one to read it.
joesf
· 1 year ago
can we be friends
A Brown
· 1 year ago
This post resonates strongly with my experiences of high school in New Zealand. My teenaged brother is in his second year of high school in Australia and belongs to the pear shaped group. He has nice friends but as a group their behaviour can be dubious towards the so called ‘Nerds’. Being a Nerd myself during the awkward years I’ve tried to impart my experiences to him. But it’s not cool to be humane. I liken the conformity of high school students to a flock of sheep. I do feel for today’s ‘Nerds’ technology has turned their plight into a 24/7 event in some cases. Your right as Adults we should be taking on the system instead of supporting it through silence.
Breezer
· 1 year ago
Shantelle, Notice how much we all care...
flachsbart
· 1 year ago
Wow, that was amazingly insightful and provides a perspective that I have never heard and one that really resonates with my experiences as well. As a fellow member of a 'D' table I think this a very discerning essay. Thank you!
Mysterious Poster
· 1 year ago
This was a refresing read. Im still in high school and I can say this puts all the thoughts ive had about it into a great well thought out essay. Thanks.
Sean
· 1 year ago
Wow, that was a really interesting read. Whilst the school i go to in Australia isnt as hard-core as the essay, you cant deny it's not there. Thanks!
Mary
· 1 year ago
For an interesting contrast - my high school was one with an IB (International Bacchalaureate) program. In addition to, y'know, being a better education, it served two purposes. One, it actually gave us something to work for, eliminating the boredom factor and allowing us nerds to admire the nerds who succeeded at schoolwork, and Two, as one of the only schools in the area to offer the program, it drew nerds from all over the county - thus allowing us to band together in large, unbullyable numbers.
I'm not saying there was no teasing or ostracization, but it's true - with those two factors accounted for, being a nerd became much, much more bearable. Some top nerds were even able to turn nerd-points into actual coolness value - after all, if a large (and therefore unbullyable) section of the population thinks Joe is cool, the rest of the group has to go along with it, otherwise the whole social structure of teenagers falls apart. That they think Joe's cool for being the only one to grasp the Calculus lecture on the first explanation or for successfully arguing down the history teacher regarding the Nuremberg Trials is sort of irrelevant.
Dawn
· 1 year ago
Very insightful and thought provoking. As a parent, I agree with you that most adults seem to be "too busy" for teenagrers. It is a shame, for the adults do not know what they are missing.
Oskar Shapley
· 1 year ago
I concur.
Had the same observation at some point: public schools are part-time prisons to keep the kids out of the streets, so that parents do not have to worry about them during work hours.
OTOH, I realised, that when I was a kid I behaved like an adult. Now I kind of behave like a kid. (the Michael Jackson Syndrome ;) )
Kristine
· 1 year ago
this is so true, and these are problems i face almost everyday, as a "nerd", at my middle school
SX
· 1 year ago
wonderful essay!!!!! This exactly describes all I've been experiencing and feeling! I'm still in high school, and is probably the only nerd there. but I'm waiting to go to college for another year!
Andreas
· 1 year ago
That was really interesting. I'm from Germany and I just finished school. A lot of things you wrote sound familiar to me. Especially why teenagers bully the ones they feel superior to. It's exactly the same thing over here.
However, German nerds have 2 great advantages:
Our school system puts the kids into three types of schools with different academic levels after 4th grade. The hardest one has a higher percentage of "nerds" than the others, so at least nobody gets kicked around for spending time on other things than being popular. I had a pretty good time even though I wore glasses, I was good at almost all subjects (especially math), I played classical music on the piano and my social skills were probably lower average. That would make me a typical nerd, wouldn't it?
The second advantage: we don't have the word "nerd" in our language. Thank God.
SJ
· 1 year ago
I'm not sure who wrote this but I just read it to my thirteen year old son. My son is labeled a "nerd" at school. He is thirteen. I don't think I've ever read a clearer, more compelling article in my life. I know it made my son feel better about himself. I'm grateful this was on the internet, available to the public. Many thanks for writing and sharing your intelligent insights. Much of what was written hit extremely close to home.
archerchick77
· 1 year ago
This essay was wonderful to read. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm currently writing a research paper on 'how to be popular' for a psychology class I'm taking in college, and this essay provided many useful insights for me. Who wrote this essay? I would like to use it as a referance in my term paper, but want to give credit.
Trnbrrd
· 1 year ago
This essay was a joy to read and was very insightful.
Ray White
· 1 year ago
Universal truths masterfully observed. Having read this essay in Dublin, Ireland, some 16 years after I left school, it managed to push buttons in me that i thought were long since decommissioned. It speaks to me in ways that perhaps it shouldn't, speaking as a 33 year old that is.
I would give anything to go back to 1987 so that I could I deliver this essay to the 13 year old me... although to be honest, I don't think I would have read it all the way through. In fact, even if I had finished reading it, I probably would not have understood it. I was never really very perceptive when it came to this kind of thing...
And yet, despite the limited intelligence I enjoyed at the time, I had surprisingly few social acquaintances in my life who were not related to me by blood, namely Mother and Father.
In their case, I'm convinced, biological impulses and guilt were the only factors that prevented them from ostracizing me from family activities (such as Holidays, Christmas and annual birthday celebrations) even more than they did.
behave !
· 1 year ago
i didnt read it all but i got the idea good stuff
Alexa
· 1 year ago
I have been thinking for a long time now, why is it that some kids are not popular. After reading this, I felt so much better. I'm in high school, and all though I'm not labeled a nerd, I know I truly am one. I'm good at almost all subjects, especially math. I play the piano and I lack social skills. I have few friends, and never get invited to parties. All through middle school I would cry myself to sleep. I was very miserable. But I know things will change, and thank god I only have 3 more years of highschool left.
Name
· 1 year ago
I was lucky enought to realize this early myself. Now that I'm an adult, I can confirm that I was right.
Just hold on and ignore them.
Khaki
· 1 year ago
I respect the amount of work you put into writing this, but I have trouble actually liking the article. It's not just that I disagree with you. I enjoy plenty of things that I disagree with. Here are the problems I see with this:
1. The article is all over the place and it's unclear what you're trying to say throughout most of it. You don't explain the relationship between "schools as prisons" and "why nerds are unpopular" until the very end, and you don't address anything remotely relating to your "thesis" until the last section. I don't mean to suggest that articles are only good if they're written like high school term papers with a thesis at the end of the first paragraph, but this seemed really unfocused and was disorienting throughout most of the essay. 2. Your sections are way too short. I can understand making each paragraph convey the information that normal people convey in a single sentence. Most people do this when they write on the internet. But why make the sections separated by double line breaks so short? Each of these sections conveys roughly the information in a normal person's paragraph. In fact, just reading over this, it seems like the only reason you did this was to avoid having to adequately transitions between your paragraphs. 3. Your site design is obnoxious. Why does the text only take up 1/3 of my screen? Is it because we would see that each paragraph is less than a single line if it was spread out to any more? 4. A lot of your phrasing is clumsy and awkward. Sentences like "it's only temporary, and if you look, you can see beyond it even while you're still in it" are just unpleasant to have to wade through. 5. Your attempts to sound "deep" and "cultured" often fall on their face. You say, for example, "the only way to escape this empty life was to submit to it." This has NO MEANING at all. You don't explain why or how this is true. Being poetic is only fine as long as there is meaning behind your text. I would also recommend laying off the metaphors at bit... most of them seem forced and do not fit well with what you are trying to convey. Metaphors are only useful when they naturally flow with the text.
anonomous
· 1 year ago
oh my god. this is everything ive thought of inside bursted out into an essay. in your popularity scale im probably in B. see in my middle school there are seperate groups of popularity, the skaters, the bad skaters, the wannabe's, the nerds, the preps, the weird ones, it goes on.... im one of those kids where i have a pretty good reputation but not the best. i get made fun of A LOT. its pointless to me. i know that once this is all over ill be that kids boss one day and its just not worth trying to fit in and be someone im not. whats the point in living if i let someone else tell me how to? but not many kids are like me im 13 at the time and have already matured past the average. im a girl so i would say its harder for girls through out school than guys, girls can be quite cruel but thats just my take on it. this i would say is a wonderful essay.
Izzy
· 1 year ago
Dude, that was insane. *claps* I've nothing more to say besides that because I believe you've said it all.
Isabel
· 1 year ago
Very good article/essay.
I'm 23 - two years out of college. I have promised myself (before reading this) not to forget how HORRIBLE high schoool was. No matter how harmless and stupid a group of popular kids look to an adult, I this it's important to remember how vicious and invincible they were when you were a teenager.
For now though, I will try not to breed and keep doing what I'm doing: nerding out all day at a kickass job that pays somewhat more than McDonalds.
Christina
· 1 year ago
I'm in high school now and I've been called a nerd more than once but I haven't been picked on in years because no one wants to ostrasize me and lose my help in classes. But I've seen it happen many times. It's terrible to watch and nearly impossible to stop because once you open your mouth, you've pasted a target on your forehead. In my classes I watch the same people pick on the same people day after day and there seems to be no good reason except being different. The ones that get picked on are all just different.
This essay proves exactly what I'm trying to say in a speech I'm doing for my AP English class. It is awesome and says what I've been trying to put into words for years.
Hackerjack27
· 1 year ago
You also have to realize that kids are getting mature quicker in this new generation. Those who are "popular" begin to see nerds and losers as though that will be potentially helpful. Also the idea of being smart and popular is not completely thrown out the window; I, along, with several others belonged in this category. Junior high was Hell for me; as well as my freshmen year. My last three years of high school, as classes grew more specialized and teenagers became more mature, were much more fun. Popularity and social hierarchy tends to disperse with age although it certainly still exists. Of course, my view is obviously my own, and I can't say how it is for everyone. To be popular is what most people strive for, and those who are popular say high school was the best time in their life. That is pitiful. I remember a college kid who went to my junior prom and I just thought that was pathetic. High school is Hell for many; fortunately it lasts only four years. Unfortunately, you will never be a kid again afterwards. It's a damn shame that the last innocent and unconsequential years have to miserable to some. Yet, I believe that things are getting better for high school kids everywhere.
Tatiana Iakovaki
· 1 year ago
Bravo! I have no other words but this alone......
tigerthink
· 1 year ago
Thanks a lot for writing this essay. It helped me a lot in high school (even though mine wasn't nearly as bad as yours.)
doodlebop
· 1 year ago
This is long I got board so I skipped to comments. I still don't know why nerds are unpopular but it might have explained it farther into the story but I got board.Nerds are just unpopular, no one knows why.
Amy
· 1 year ago
Your opinions were interesting. I read the entire post and would have read more. As the mom of two teenage sons that just don't "get" why conforming is so important, it will be a valueable tool to open many topics of conversation with them. We now live in a small town which can be compared to a suburb, but there is a slightly different dynamic. I have noticed that many children "from" this town consider themselves as a member of a town, a county and a state. This localized (and I would say, limited) citizenship seems supported and encouraged by the parents. The average student considers a trip of 50 miles an event. Our family has moved around more (due to my husband's career). My children have always seemed to consider themselves citizens of the world. They have seen and experienced much more than the average child from town and I will admit that even though their differences now make them social outcasts, I am secretly proud that they do not conform. I offer my support and advice in as many ways as I know how, but at the same time I realize my limitations. I would be interested to hear about any ideas you might have about how parents could ease the hardships of nerd children that are unpopular, aside from changing the entire educational system of course.
loser
· 1 year ago
fuck you nerd
bwana
· 1 year ago
What a Nurde comment,there is a small chance you may become an adult eventually.
Ppongratz
· 1 year ago
Well said. I can identify completely. My tenure in Middle School in the 1979-1982 time frame was just like the essay. I just became an engineer and forgot about all the BS anyway, after High School. Proud to be what I am but still not popular...and I am okay with it! I see those old schoolmates from time to time and they are just like anyone else in the world. We all go to work and we all have our families so it all comes out the same. Some of us just did it differently in the early years of our lives and were ostrasized for it.
Oh yeah, life goes on...long after the thrill of living is gone! (just passed up my 20 year HS reunion invite - no reason to go)
Paul
Dave
· 1 year ago
I'm 14 years of age upon the creation of this post, and I agree with this essay completely.
I have experience from the nerd population, and the preppy population (I'd probably be one of the folks sitting at the "C" lunch table, and maybe "B" at one point)...It is all just a free-for-all in middle school, where we all kill each other (sometimes literally) just for kicks...
Nathan
· 1 year ago
Very well written essay, and so true.
ali
· 1 year ago
Wow - great, great essay! I will be reading it to my 10 year old "nerd"! LOL! I think it's going to make life a little easier for him!
julie
· 1 year ago
made me think... you really put a new perspective out there. Well Done!
wangstaj
· 1 year ago
Yep. The world is one big fake pile of crap, and everyone either doesn't have the vision to see it or doesn't have the guts to admit it. It's a God damn shame and I have no pity or forgiveness for those responsible.
Mikitii
· 1 year ago
As a teen in New Zealand I cannot identify other than vicariously- as through terrible nineties-feel-good-teen-coming-of-age flicks. At 11 or 12, smart kids tended to either be generally popular or have other groups of smart kids to hang out with, not that there was any kind of elitism involved, but unpopular kids tended to be either the violent or the actually disabled. Moving to highschool, social groups were more defined, but with no real heirarchy. People overlapping more than one stereotype tend to be at least as popular as any "specialist". Still, as a general rule, people with some mild mental abnormality tend to be unpopular but it's the people who pick on them that are really ostricised. My sympathies y'all, sounds awful.
simplify3
· 1 year ago
This is a fantastic article - I will repost it to http://naplesnerds.com - social network for nerds/geeks/misfits. Do nerds and geeks like to congregate? I hope so!
Thanks for the great article - I will reread it several times to digest it fully.
Brian
· 1 year ago
As a 14 year old "nerd", this article was a huge inspiration, and I will undoubtedly view my school-life much differently.
Thank you so much!
JohnBS
· 1 year ago
I disagree. I found that, after being a dorkster for all my schooling, my "group" and the other groups of nerds consistently had the most friends. And yet, when we referred to the star athletes and generally all "those", we always referred to them as the popular kids. And now after graduation the dorks still have plenty of friends, while many popular people have only acquaintances they see at parties. We know this because we have had many defectors to the dorks, those who were trying to dumb down for coolness, but decided to just be themselves. It's crazy, I know, being yourself! So what I'm saying is that no matter what happens, the "popular" kids will always be the popular kids, although the definition of popular has been a little compromised. p.s. The goths at my particular school seemed to be the most popular of all the groups. Who knew?!
jimbob
· 1 year ago
I'm only 13, and i'm a huge nerd in my school, but i'd also like to point out that i have a lot of 'popular' friends. The kids who everyone else wants to be friends with and be like, those people are MY friends, and i'm the kinds of person they'd normally make fun of, because i'm not athletic, i get good grades, and i'm 'awkward' a lot of the time, as some of them put it, but the reason it appears to me that they like me is simply because i can make them laugh. I'm a complete nerd, and yet they like me because i'm funny.
Jayde
· 1 year ago
hi, i'm 13 and in year 8, i know what u guys mean, i hate being a nerd, see i used to be popular but i realised wat a bitch i was, so i left their group, but while i was popular, i was still secretly smart, so when i left, the only thing i had left was my intelligence! lol, ever since that i have been called a nerd! but like jimbob, i have a load of popular friendz that want me to fight them, but i'm not that person anymore, it sux because i could turn back but i dont want to turn ma back on edu! but also i am a christian now, so i cant be popular unless i give up on my religion and education. all those people call me a nerd, and its driving me crazy, because i could always turn around and bash their head in and be popular again, but i cant. sigh. i am not even that smart, i can remember the last time i got an a!!! A TIP FOR EVERYONE; ok, so i'm still in year 8, but think of it this way, its only 5 years! then afterwards, u will be sucessfull, if u hold on to education. at the moment thats the ONLY thing keeping me from dropping out.
i never hated nerds when i was popular. i only hated people that hated me. but my "friends" always did. i know how u feel now. but i'm not turning back.
and thankyou to the very generous person who took the time to write this very inspriational story.
good luck EVERYONE
xoxo Jayde
CrazyAlchemist
· 1 year ago
That was a great essay! I am a bit of a nerd, but I've noticed that by taking honors classes, I avoid most of the truly idiotic people. In honors classes, people who don't care about being popular are usually ignored, unless they are loud. The loud kids who don't care about being popular can actually become cool.
I tend to be the loud nerd. I've made lots of friends, so I consider myself cool, but I am not in the "popular" crowd.
o
· 1 year ago
fuumfnf
Duuuude
· 1 year ago
I am 14 & in year 9. When i was in primary school i was quite comfortable with my intelligence & there was no such thing as popular and unpopular. Then once i got to high school (as i live in Australia there is no middle school) I had a chance to become "popular" so i accepted. I lived that year being nasty to anyone considered "uncool" or different to the people in my group. Towards the end of that year i realised what it was doing to my grades. I was trying my best to hide my smarts, as to not be labelled a geek like the people all my "friends" picked on. The end of that year saw me change schools (my mothers choice, not mine) and when i arrived at my new school i realised all the sillyness of my past was over. I was true to myself and now i am a "nerd" at my school but i have realised that the ones labelled "nerds" are often the coolest kids around. They are just invisible in the eyes of anyone who thinks they are better. and to be honest? I rather my life now to my life then. I would pick it anyday ! :)
Nick
· 1 year ago
good read! it may be interresting for you to know that my school consists of different groups, however it is not popularity, but people are divided by their intrests, I find my self jumping from group to group just to socialise with my mates!
- nick , aus
gnanu
· 1 year ago
very nice essay, I've always wanted to do one of these...trying to expose the inner workings of my high school would be a lot of fun.
leahh.
· 1 year ago
hey all. this was a really great read. i could totally understand where the writer is coming from. and i am no miss popular myself. But what i have come to realise is that the more popular someone is and the more that person seems to "fit in" the more insecure he/she really is. because when you get right down to it, "nerds" and unpopular people are individual. Thats why they're so hated. And the fact they are so individual means they are comfortable enough in their own skin to be their own person and not blindly conform. hang in there guys (:
Lara
· 1 year ago
The first part of this essay clicked for me. It's true--I was smart and that was more important to me than being popular, as painfully as I longed to be liked
If someone had offered me the choice between dumbing down to be popular vs. being smart and unpopular, I'm pretty sure I would've stuck with the smart unpopular person I was through high school.
I had friends (a lot of "Can I borrow your notes?" friends in particular) but high school was lonely, a horrible time, and I didn't see beyond it at the time. I sincerely thought the world was like that and didn't know differently until college. I was so glad to be in college, and then out of school into adulthood.
I'd always secretly suspected that the "heavy responsibilities" adults kept telling me about came with a corresponding set of freedoms that weren't mentioned. And they do.
AlbeyAmakiir
· 1 year ago
You have a very negative view of teachers and the system of learning. Maybe it's because I went to an Australian school (though I don't think that made much difference), but I only ever had one teacher that didn't care about us.
The reasons for separation seem about right, although I'd like to point out that many nerds (and geeks) are autistic (or something similar), and thus don't even have much social skill anyway.
arj
· 1 year ago
You hit some very true points here. I went to a particularly horrible middle school with the children of the rich society wives and their competitive cut-throat businessmen husbands. I was a short, chubby kid who usually had his head in a VB book trying to make his own video games. I was almost drown in the school pool during Gym class by the A table kids, and basically tortured every day. The worse part was in this school the teachers seemed to be in on it, they were as shallow and bias as the kids.
Later in high school, my nerd friends and I started a band and soon rose to be leaders of the 'freaks' as you call them. We managed to ruin most of the popularity pyramid since the nerds and freaks soon made up a big enough section of the school to not care about the jocks and cheerleaders. We had formed our own society out of necessity.
However, those formative years in 7th and 8th grade had a horrible negative affect on my view of other people. I was automatically on the defensive toward anyone who seemed very social, good looking, or popular. Even after college sometimes I would catch myself thinking like this, even when the person was a genuinely good human being.
When I see things like the Columbine or Virginia Tech shootings, I have to wonder if those kids just didn't realize that this popularity system is not the real world, I know I didn't realize it at the time, and if you add affects of medications or disturbed mental state to the day to day torment, you can see how such horrible things can come about.
The good thing is, us nerds, if we survive, usually come out on top. I think parents can make a big difference, my parents, although totally NOT nerds in their high school days, constantly reminded me, it didn't matter. That it would be over in a few years and that none of these kids should have any affect on my self-worth. They helped me a lot.
If I ever have a child, I will make sure he is NOT part of the A Table, even if he could be, because, as you said I would have never traded my intelligence, my originality and creativity to fit into this system.
eNvY
· 1 year ago
commendable work and observations.i come from a place where these things don't happen in school...but in college yes...these are a permanent everyday fixture. all in all,i can say that you compiled the facts pretty well and did a good job in representing them...alienating them from what you personally feel.
Lyza
· 1 year ago
I just finished my freshmen year of college, so I've had the highschool experience quite recently...That may be true in SOME schools, but I lived in a small town, and in MY school, all of the popular kids parents pressured them to get good grades...In fact, most of the loser kids had bad grades, so it was an even worse situation...It may be true that they were indeed SMARTER, but the kids who always did the best grade-wise were definitely the popular ones. It was horrible. It made everyone who wasn't popular feel even worse about themselves, because they didn't even have a report-card to show superiority...
bwana
· 1 year ago
In 1974 at age 16 I was the smallest boy in a new boys boarding school that I started attending, it was a very lonely year and "Queer" or "Poop" where the insulting words used to degrade otherwise healthy kids who just happened to be younger.It was all about violence and who could assault you physically was the popular or feared kids ruled. In my misery I fantisised about parking a truck full of explosives next to the daily school assembly and blowing up the whole school.I hated them and wanted my persecuters dead.This was long before the first "suicide bombers" and "High School Killings"actually started happening.I thought of it first. The school was Weston Agricultural College in South Africa.
bianca
· 1 year ago
hi my name is bianca and im 14 years old. i was looking at this essay as i have to write a essay myself on why kids chooe to divide up into groups. in primary school i was happy with my intelligence and it seemed that if you wer smart then you were cool. i liked it that way cause i had friends and at the same time my grades were good. but when i got to highschool everything became different. you had to be a rebel to be cool. i wanted to be popular i must admit because its a great feelingto know you have many friends and people look up to you. and so i changed my ways to become just like the popular people. yet i started to realise that it isnt alll that good. everyone talks behid your back of how bitchy you are and everything like that. at every luch time they say mean things about people. i also noticed that my grades were getting low as i was to worried about how i ooked. i wanted to change back to how i was. i left the group i was hanging out with and joined some after school activities. but the funny thing is that i am smart now but i still have many great friendss. you no dont be mean to nerds because one day you will be working for them.
hoppingviola
· 1 year ago
In regards to AlbeyAmakiir's post:
I'm sorry, I just can't see this - many nerds and geeks are autistic? What evidence is for this? Autism is a spectrum disorder, and part of what that means is that the displayed behaviors are not different from 'normal' people but just exacerbated.
Seriously, where did that statement even come from?
Rae
· 1 year ago
I'm 16 and in high school. A lot of the smart kids are popular. But they're not the ones that get all As. They're in honors classes, but they don't necessarily get straight As. I'm smart and pretty unpopular. I found this article on my search for things about whether or not I should say yes to this guy who asked me out. He's a nice guy, but way less popular than I am. If I were just turning him down for that, I'd be a shallow jerk, but he's also not a Christian, which is extremely important to me. This article was GREAT, and thanks to the author for helping to open my eyes to it. I always knew that high school wasn't the real world, but I didn't realize to that extent. Anyway, Kudos to the author and love to all who are fellow nerds!
kajshah601
· 1 year ago
omg this has to be the most amazing thing ive ever read ! ur amazing for getting through all that but not letting it blind you but instead letting it make u more aware abt what REALLY goes on i reallly admire u and today i had my high school orientation im a nerd - kinda awkward but up until eighth grade ive had my friends , my own little niche but now im going to high tech high school without all my freinds and im TERRIFIED! all day ive felt bleh and then i searched nerds on google - pathetic . i no - and this came up ... it made my terrible crappy day so much better - well now that i hav told u mylife story that u prob could care less abt i just wanted to say i really admire u and this article rocked and will prob get me through the future worst years of my life - and when i come out i hope i can as optimistically as u write abt it and help others get through it if u could please send me some sorta reply back !!!!???? that would be soooo amazing ... -kay
langmeisje
· 1 year ago
kut leo wat een tyfus tekst, ik ga dit niet lezen
European
· 1 year ago
Thanks for this. I enjoyed reading it (through).
Society really is twisted. I guess I've never been that socially aware, just wore the clothes I liked, in some unconscious bravery. I was very quiet, and once wore a Guns 'n Roses shirt, got heavy comments on it, though one girl said she liked it. I had to bear the comments and all but I guess I have been pretty immune for what others thought. Maybe I have been relatively immune to social pressure in general. Only since a few years have I been building up some social awareness, it felt like I was applying my intelligence to get knowledge of that. But being 27 now, as I said, and working since a few years I think a lot of these strange rules still (sadly) apply to the adult world. Makes me think the office itself could be a 'fake' world like you describe high-school. Not to discourage anyone who reads this, it is a lot different, you're let to be more independent/on your own but this pressure keeps existing. People I think retain this school attitude. They trust each other not on intelligence but on social performance. It hasn't been this way during the several places I've been working but especially so in one unfortunate occasion. To conclude, about, I carry this idea for longer now, that there are two types of people (although there is a gradient): introvert and extravert. I read someone on a forum saying this difference was like that between man and woman; well I think it is even more essential and a bigger difference than that. And by the way I am speaking from the Netherlands here, fyi. To conclude, really, I so deeply and easily see why your story is optimistic (and why most poeple won't see that).
matt
· 1 year ago
at my school smart people aren't less popular it's odd that everyone seems to know someone who knows someone who knows someone as time go's on some people began to know more and more people until everyone knew everyone
KT
· 1 year ago
I have to add on a few counts. First of all, I'm generally nerdy, and I am definitely not popular. Part of this is because I can see the disgusting waste that popularity is. It's all a pathetic illusion that won't get you anywhere. What's the trade? You can't trust anyone, you can't get yourself out of a bad situation by virtue of your intellect, and it's the kind of attention that attracts people to you, whether you want to see them or not.
I just have to say that one of the most annoying things, is when people who are incredibly popular ask you for help on their homework. It's just proof of their shallow little world. It's one thing if they're going to talk to you later on, but it's entirely different if they want your help to save their grade and then ignore you later. They're entire existence is responsible to their social status, and I can only wonder how the hell they're supposed to function later on if they've never learned anything of value.
Thanks for this, though, it's important to address. Popular people are generally just very skilled liars, whether they realize it or not. The greatest question is, how do you bring to their attention a fairly complicated subject, when, thanks to their popularity, they've never done any work harder than deciding what to wear? They've already wasted so many brain cells, how can they grasp the depth (or shallowness) of their facade?
Alex Mc
· 1 year ago
wow.
I read through all of that thinking "I'm the coolest hybrid of freak and nerd ever" so much of relates to me I even find the time to fit it in to this comment. I'm in a catholic school so the "right" clothes don't apply but on civies day its like seeing the world with giant signs attached to people giving them a number on the scale of how popular they are. Its odd though how you said the most horrible years are when your age 11-14 and my first years (8-10 1/2) I didn't even seem to notice the social structure that was in place, and therefore didn't quantify/care about my own rank of popularity. But even now I just shrug it off like an annoying flying that seems to be constantly buzzing around your ear. Anywho I have to sign off because i have prison to go to tomorrow, Cheers.
Dan
· 1 year ago
Sorry to state the obvious:
Nerds are not smarter or better than the people who pick on them. Largely, they lack social skills. Social skills are largely independent of reasoning skills. Being a nerd has little to do with opting out because you want to cure cancer rather than play football. It is a result of not having self confidence.
Nerds often do better after they leave school. One reason is that many nerds need to get out of their home environment. Another is that they do have their skills more appreciated in the adult world, which can develop confidence. Another is just that some people develop social skills later than others.
JonathanS117
· 1 year ago
A wise man once said, "never make fun of a nerd, he'll probably be your future boss."
But the funny thing about being a nerd, myself included, is an undying sense of pride. In grade school I remeber getting made fun of, it raged on into junior high, but in high school everything changed. And as long as your not the I know it all nerd(dork) then you'll be fine.
Personally I started as a nerd and ended up as the among the coolest kids in high school. My trick was when ever the popularity came I shrugged it off, like it was nothing. Because it is nothing, its a waste of time, I took up music, now I play guitar, piano and the violin, finds something youre good at and stick to it
RODRIGUEZ
· 1 year ago
I'M NOT A NERD. BUT IN MY SKOOL NERD ARE COOL. PEOPLE LIKE THE SMART KIDS. WELL, THE ONES THAT DON'T LET IT GET 2 THERE HEADS. LOVED THIS ARTICAL. FOUND IT BY GOOFING AROUND ON THE COMPUTER.
buttfuck
· 1 year ago
TURN OFF CAPS LOCK
nerd
fc
· 1 year ago
It has been nearly 10 years since i graduated middle school the people that made fun of me are not doing as well me, most of those same people who talk about how many times i wore my clothes don't even have pintos, they are still catching the bus. I have forgiven those people because people that don't focus on themselves will never amount to anything.
My statistics of people that make fun of others most are very insecure and come from poverty class people, they make fun of people to feel whole.
I was in school to better myself i did go to school to be popular.
My advice is to people is forgive and forget, most of those people do not even remember you.
Lynne
· 1 year ago
Thank you SO much for posting this essay. I used to be popular but i grew up a lot before the summer of middle school. All of my old friends seemed to be focused on things that seemed pointless to me such as fashion and jerk guys. Slowly they began to isolate me. MY school is VERY small (60 in 1 grade) so I'm not bullied, but i am ignored and indirectly beaten down. This essay made me see that there is nothing wrong with me, its just that I have grown up a great deal more than the majority of my eight grade. Thank you so much, your a great writer
buttfuck
· 1 year ago
Learn to speak engrish. I'm smart, as are the majoriy of my friends, and none of us have ever committed suicide, or even entertained the idea. the correlation between intelligence and popularity has no relation, its whether or not you have the dignity (or lack thereof) to sacrifice work for motivation. DVX Nobis
buttfuck
· 1 year ago
^^ what the hell are you talking about? you considere suicide constantly, and have no friends... and whats with the fascist propaganda?
chet
· 1 year ago
dude? what??
lets just go get some natty ice and chill. we can totally bro out broskie. bro, bro bro bro...you know what calms me down? listening to dave matthews
Luczek
· 1 year ago
Like Alex and KT, I too am a smart person in a Catholic School who is mocked and then asked to help the other "smart" people with their homework. I hate the idea of jeans days as they mean ridicle and ostracism. It's like the world no longer knows what to do when they meet an intelligent, apathetic, teenage girl. How many girls at your school prefer Firefly and Stargate:SG-1 to The Notebook? *gag* I am one of few girls I know who hates her mother's favorite movies... The World is not made for us, and I'm glad this essay shows that.
elgenius
· 1 year ago
HA! Finally, I have found what I'm looking for. I'm 13 and have been thinking things along the lines of this. Everything makes more sense after reading this essay. I want to personally thank you.
Chelinka / NubMasterNoob
· 1 year ago
Wow. You made a nice statement, but we think it's too long (especially for a bunch of "weird" sixth graders). Chelinka and I do not want to be popular, as you said, but it does seem like there is some stereotype in school.
Anyways, nice job (typing a very long paper)!
--Nub and Chelinka
Brian Dunlop
· 1 year ago
Man, this was a really well thought essay and it really speaks to me, I think that I'm sort of a rebel in school and I don't really like egotisitcal "popular kids", idk I think I'm a little more mature that that, but I have used drugs before, pot, acid, shrooms, coke, now you'd probably think I'm a drug addict now, but I'm not. I use to smoke pot everyday and I've tried coke twice and shrooms and acid once, and I don't do any drugs now. I think that high school life has really fucked with my head. Man, fuck high school. Why can't people just be chill like me and don't really give a shit, I just do what I got to do in school and then I'm like fuck it, I'll see you guys later, I'm gonna go home, I got better things to do. Also, I went to a restaurant, recently and when I was done I said to one of the waitresses, "I wish everyone was as nice as waitresses" and she just smile at me and laughed, but I think I'm right. I'm worried about my future and these people are worrying about what some kid that they hardly even know and probably will have nothing to do with their life after high school is gonna think if they do this, I'm just like fuck it. They're the weirdos, I'm trying to make something out of my life and they just want to be followers, while I'm trying to be a leader and they'll just float through life and I'll be a big success.
Guy
· 1 year ago
I admire your effort of writing this essay. You really did good job and made me understand the mechanics of school-society much better! I'm not in that bad situation in school, but I can't really say that I would be popular, so this cheered me up. Thanks man, respect! :P
guy from norway
· 1 year ago
... this is stupid. why? because its not about being popular its about understanding social dynamics, and tbh its not complicated. Read about it perform it and go on with your goal to be smart.
all grown up
· 1 year ago
people self-segregate. In your map of the lunchroom, would the inhabitants of the "D" table be comfortable with interlopers from the "A" table? Later in life nothing changes--accountants tend to know other accountants, ex-cons tend to hang with other ex-cons, ect. I have learned, in the 22 years since high school, to evaluate my fellows by their character instead of their popularity. I find the content of most's character to be sadly lacking and I just end up hanging out with my kids. (more fun anyway, scooby-doo and snow cones shared with my kids is the whole point of life)
yolio_o
· 1 year ago
:O finally!! im 13 and have always why im depressed all the time,even though it never looks like i am . . .:c but alot of things make more sence now
i have to read this a few times though :c thanks! <3 -yoli
sointex
· 1 year ago
you are a idiot.
Damon
· 1 year ago
This essay is right on.
Paddy O'Door
· 1 year ago
nerds are gay
eighth grader
· 1 year ago
your 2 dads are.
That Guy
· 10 months ago
Let's not bring the issue into homosexuality into this. First of all, you're clearly one of those darned popular kids. Second, why is homosexuality considered bad. Love is love and there's too little love in this world, so if some dudes/dudettes love those of the same gender, there's nothing wrong with that. So you Paddy O'Door, have nothing relevant to say and you should just shut up.
Kristina
· 1 year ago
Well... power to you.
I have to say that in your table map at high school, I'd probably be on an A table. Not trying to boast. I don't enjoy it. I spend about two hours per day on my physical appearance and I don't always say what I personally actually think. I'm starting to get sick of all the bitching and everything that goes on in the popular groups. I was wondering earlier what it would be like to ditch everybody - the footballers and the popular girls - and just spend one lunch sitting and eating by myself. Or maybe find someone who's often made fun of who's sitting on their own and sit with them. Chat with them for a bit, see what they really are like as a person.
Oops, this is turning into an essay too, now.
Best wishes. Kristina.
Lyla Fischer
· 1 year ago
I think that this essay would be a good one to translate into "Why don't women go into technological fields". As a female programmer, this is especially near and dear to my heart and I think that a lot of it has to do with nerd being unpopular in high school. I think that girls ARE more sensitive to the popularity bubble, and are more likely to avoid doing things to their image that will loose them friends.
However, at least in my case, this just meant that I had three jobs, because I refused to give up any element of my life in favor of another- my family, my schoolwork and my friends were each vying for my attention, and it was hard to keep up. I rarely let them intermingle. My parents did not really come to my softball games or musicals. They knew about them, but I did not force them to mix. I did technical things, like programming, at home where my friends would not have to watch. They knew that I liked it, but I did not want to talk about anything too specific because they would not like it. It was part of getting good at pleasing people. It was not that they would actively put me down because I liked to program- it was that they did not particularly enjoy it themselves, and I was not going to bore them.
This also meant that I could only be at the 'B' table, however that was a conscious choice. I did not want to have to lie about who I was, as I did during my short stint with the 'A' table, but I was also not really a nerd because the 'B' table had enough social power to stave off any attacks.
However, I agree that it was not the best for my personal development. I got in the habit of avoiding detailed discussions about anything technical. One of the biggest shocks I received in going to a technical college was the freedom of math. It felt like porn- and I am not exaggerating. It was a topic about which I thought all the time, but it absolutely forbidden to talk about out loud, at least in my circle.
Finally, I just wanted to say that I think that the need for popularity is the single largest deterrent to women in technical fields. You have to give up one or the other or do the perilous double major- which is very difficult. And, despite my love of programming and math, I have to say that, in high school, if I had to choose one or the other, I would have chosen popularity, at least enough to say off of the 'D' table. Call me sexist, but I think that this is a more likely choice for women in general, and it is a horrible choice to have to make.
Senator
· 1 year ago
Yeah, popularity really is a system. I have to say, the smart people should have the upper hand. I am smart and an academic nerd (I'm 2nd. in my class), however, I chill at A nd B tables. cuz I do fit in the popular circles. I didn't start there, though. I used to eat by myself and all that jazz..........then one day, my intelligence kicked in and said, "Man, you're smarter than them. Figure out what they do, and do it better." It's a system. Once you master it, enjoy the ride.
fierymerengue
· 1 year ago
How do you master the system? I'm so tired of waiting; my patience is tapped out.
Barbara Saunders
· 1 year ago
I agree with you. I went to an academically selective private school. The dynamic was just as you describe, though the ranking system had different parameters. Medium smart, artistically talented, and rich got you to the top. Lesser academic talent was a killer -- unless you were rich and even if you were attractive. Lack of physical attractiveness was a weighted factor, however, that could pull you to the bottom. I successfully worked "mysterious" in combination with moderate academic success plus music and sports.
smart b-baller
· 1 year ago
Nerds are cool they always humour us in a weird way which is lol plus you get to brag if you beat a nerd on a test (which is easy) and they cant brag back the reason they are unpopular is because being smart might mean you lack athletisism or interests of cool stuff and hey this is coming from a twelve year old
Daniel
· 1 year ago
"Why? To someone in school now, that may seem an odd question to ask. The mere fact is so overwhelming that it may seem strange to imagine that it could be any other way. But it could." I totally support you on this. I address this comment mainly to the nerds who are suffering in high school right now. It really can be different, and among kids too, not only among adults.
Most of my knowledge of American high school comes from American movies (I'm not from the U.S.). When I was watching all these movies (my freshman year in college) I was very surprised: schools in the U.S. look nothing like the school I went to. There was even no such notion as "popularity" there. OK, I admit it, my school was a Math one, but anyway, I've got a brother who went to a more usual school, and he didn't show any signs of suffering from any sort of a popularity system. In my school it was like this: the smarter you are, the more respect you gain from your peers. I got better grades than most of my friends, and yet it didn't make me their enemy. At first I simply didn't understand, I didn't even believe that things can be upside down somewhere. I thought that those movies' authors were just kidding that way. Now I see that it is actually true. I'm saying this so that you know: it really can be different. And not only in special schools. When I was 12 I still went to a usual school. Then I went to a special math school. And I didn't want to go there, even though I love math. I didn't want to lose all my friends from the old school. And please note that I was the smartest and I was among the worst on the football field. I was friends with those best on the football field, they respected my skills at math, and I also respected those things they were good at (football, basketball etc.). I might say we even envied each other a bit, but only a bit. You being nerds is in fact a great luck, and you will see it sooner or later. Please, please don't change! Stay smart, stay individual, stay different. Maybe I'm too young myself to give you advice about your lives (I'm 21), but take my word that now I'm happy I'm a nerd. The laws of "real life" are created by people like you, the most successful people are like you. Try not to hate your tormentors: your reward is coming, their times will end soon )
wish
· 1 year ago
Yeah, I never talked to anybody in high school because it was just too much pressure to come up with anything to say. It was like a constant test. So I always sat by myself, waiting for it to end.
I always liked hanging out with the older kids and the cool pot smokers who didn't take themselves so seriously... I met all of them outside of school.
After High School I took a break and worked my job, smoked pot, tripped on LSD, drank beer, and intently wandered aimlessly for 7 years. Now that I have my self esteem and social anxiety issues solved, I can't wait to go back to college and get my business degree... and get laid. ;-)
Jonathan
· 1 year ago
It's social intelligence. Most "smart kids" don't have that. They have a lot of esoteric knowledge, hence the term "nerd," but can't comb their hair right or converse normally. A lot of professionals are starting to link that with Asperger's syndrome.
P.S. Fuck the popular kids in highschool, it doesn't work that way in real life. I am so much cooler than anybody I know now. Also you'll realize that what is popular is usually stupid as hell. I mean, come on, have you seen MTV in the daytime lately? That's what the popular kids watch. Do you really want to be them? You don't have to be popular to get girls or have fun. You can have it all with those wonderful brains of yours.
Guest
· 1 year ago
Haha, I seem to like this article too. I guess you could call me a nerd-- that's what everyone else does! I'm more in the group of freak for some reason, although I believe I'm far from it. I don't do drugs, I'm relatively smart and I don't do drugs. I do wear black, but only because I feel it's the only thing that looks good on me. From the things I am witnessing now as a high school student most of your points are valid. However, the nerds in our school... the really goofy, smart kids... most of them are the popular ones! It's their good looks, connections, and overall capability to make others laugh that makes them popular. I, myself, am very, very shy. I'm not that pretty and I probably look as if I don't give a damn about the popularity system. It's not that I want to be popular. I just want to have normal friends. But at this rate, I'll be stuck with the same people because they are the only ones who will accept me. I never dress to impress, I don't "get my hair did," and I've never gotten a pedicure/manicure. I don't like making fun of others, a popular thing for the popular kids to do, and I definitely don't like doing drugs. If that is what is in the popularity system... screw that.
And teachers definitely do NOT make the system better. Parents either. One of my science teachers gave me a 'F' on a project because others in my group slacked off. We were the group of outcasts. He gave the group next to us, a group of pretty blondes with short-shorts, a 90, 'B'. I asked if there was anything I could do to bring it up, given that I had done my part of the assignment... he said, "No." The girls besides us complained to him once and he gave them an 'A' instead. Bullshit much? Did he give them that grade because they looked and were in the popularity circle?
I wish that teens were not pushed into a popularity hierarchy, but that is indeed what happens. If only change would occur, but when would that happen in a world so quickly degrading?
georgejenks
· 1 year ago
I stumbled upon this by typing "why" into google search, I originally just intended to leave a comment telling you how refreshing it was to read n article that appears to have been written by someone who is genuinly intelligent. I am 15 and go to school in England, I wouldn't consider myself a nerd, infact i would say that i am on one of the tables of A or B in your sketch, but i don't know the people inyour school, it's often a case of what ones "type of people" are rather than simply their popularity. I also play for my district rugby team and often represent the school in sporting competitions, it may be that i fall into your smart kids exception group, but i don't feel picking on nerds has ever been an issue in my group of friends. One of the main reasons teachers and adults (who you so wonderfully grouped together as one group, in my opinion one of the flaws in this article) seem to egsasurbate the situation is because they throw around clichéd lines, I'm sure you've all heard the type of thing i mean, without really thinking deply into them, and as a young person, you don't delve on these sayings, thing's like "be yourself" have only recently begun to make sense to me, valuable morals are cramped into a few sayings that are commonly thrown round, alot of the time by people who haven't thought about them themselves. Like many problems, the situation of unpopular smart people or nerds, is caused by common ignorance. The reason this ignorance is existant almost everywhere you go is simply because there is no drive or need to not be. Also, I feel comprehensive schools can never cater to everyones needs or skills, the type of intelligence they can measure is very narrow, people cannot always give the best of themselves in writing, which is how schools test pupils in almost all cases. It takes a different type of intelligence for example to be win an election, it is not always the party with the cleverest leader or the best manifesto who wins, it is simply the party which the public likes best for whatever reason, much like thesituation you've described in schools.
I apologise for the way this has been written, I havent had a chance to read it back, and my family call me for dinner, and i am one of those who cannot articulate themselves very well in writing.
lizkisko
· 1 year ago
I really liked your analysis of public schooling in America. I, too, believe that there are so many flaws that one teacher cannot really fix them (thus the reason I teach at a private school). But I do hope that people realize the pointlessness of much of public schooling, and I also hope that private schools will not just assume that giving students uniforms and having different curricula make the school itself any different than their public counterparts. Schools ought to have a real purpose, beyond just safeguarding kids from the evils of the "outside world." They should have a very clear focus, and the learning and activities should revolve around this. An active faculty and meaningful purpose will do wonders to create a microcosm that more accurately represents the real world that students will enter once they graduate.
ArthurMcGowan
· 1 year ago
WHY is there no "external pressure" on schools to be better--i.e., to be REALLY related to the real world, to do a better job, to be more human, etc.
Because the government schools were DESIGNED to be free precisely from this "pressure."
Because the parents' money is TAKEN from them, mostly in property taxes, and then appropriated by the government to run the schools, the parents have NO power. The schools are socialist. The market has been disabled in the case of government schools.
The government schools were imported by American socialists from socialist Prussia. They were always INTENDED to undermine the bond between parent and child, and to undermine the society that had formed naturally in America.
The most powerful, malign, and longest-running HOAX in U.S. history is "the public school." It is a hoax because this massive socialist enterprise, which runs counter to everything truly American, has managed by more than a century of propaganda, to convince the majority of Americans that "without our public schools, our country will fracture, breaking down into warring factions."
Schools, public and private, are NOT designed to meet the needs of children.
PARENTS are designed to meet the needs of children. Homeschooling--TRUE homeschooling, not imitation at home of what goes on in schools--is based on NATURE. With homeschooling, male children have both a male and female teacher and a male role model for father, husband, complete male human being, female children have a female and male teacher, and a female role model for mother, wife, and complete female human being.
Homeschooling is an unfortunate name for a Fully Functioning Family. It's a negative word, like "horseless carriage." It's "school"--but at school. A Fully Functioning Family should not define itself by the negative fact that the children are "not in school."
The NATURALNESS of a fully functioning family is what the ideologue socialist gender-benders HATE. They hate life, they hate nature, they hate marriage, they hate the family. And 90% of American children are spending six to eight hours a day inside this statist, socialist, unnatural system.
emmah
· 1 year ago
I am a nerd but I was lucky that I went to a Grammar school. Nearly all the smart children go there in my country. I attended Grammar school since 11 to 18. Many people are against these schools because they think that children shouldn't be separated that early. I disagree with that because even now many people think that I am a bit weird and it is sometimes difficult to up with it and I couldn't imagine how bad it would be in puberty. I am sorry for my bad english.
Robyn
· 1 year ago
Very Well Said.
CDMVme
· 1 year ago
Thank you for writing this ! I totally agree with what you say ! I'm not in an American school and I have no idea of how it is, but here, in France, you could think sociaty is "softer" but if you take a closer look, you can see everybody is playing a part, and school is just a big play with "in" and "out" people. Nobody seems to be realising it! Teenagers just need to open their eyes.
red neckk
· 1 year ago
ther is no ppoint to skool.
Akis Katsman
· 1 year ago
good text. it's sad how the minority (nerds) is seen so badly from the majority (the more popular kids). if you ask me, I think that having intelligence or doing some productive thing, should get much more credit than wearing cool sunglasses or talking dirty like a bastard. the last things don't make you a significant person, sorry. at least not for someone with an average IQ or more. but people, especially teenagers, are not interested in knowledge or doing something good, but in coolness and how to attract bitches. yes, it's true. well, I'm 23, so I have understood these things now, at least. some other people don't (or don't want to).
jewbileeeee
· 1 year ago
wow.. what a read it's just so true
monica
· 1 year ago
Well I am smart and popular. Actually Im the third most popular kid in the school and I am the second smartest. I do not like when people prototype like that because I am both and I am proud.
cartman1993
· 1 year ago
I do declare - I am smarter than you. When you say, "prototype" I think you mean "stereotype." A prototype is a first or preliminary model of something. Stereotypes are widely held and oversimplified ideas about a type of person or thing. They are also a real time-saver. HA! I JUST TOTALLY OUT NERDED YOU!
How do you know you are exactly the third most popular kid in school and the second smartest? Did you and your friends take a poll or something? How very nerdy/popular of you.
CatCeville
· 1 year ago
stereotype, Monica... the word you're looking for is stereotype, not prototype. A prototype is something completely different.
And where are you getting your rankings? How do you know that you're the "third most popular kid" in school and "the second smartest"? I assume that some sort of popularity contest could be used to determine popularity rankings, but how are you quantifying "smartness"? Do you have the highest GPA? The highest IQ? Tested highest in your class on the PSAT? What's the standard and what's the curve?
Which all adds up to making me question your veracity in saying that you're the second "smartest" kid in your school, or makes me wonder how "smart" the kids at your school can actually be.
cartman1993
· 1 year ago
You took the words right out of my... HEY!
NERD - OFF!!!
Grace
· 1 year ago
I agree, I'd like to know the basis of how they're measuring intelligence, of the top 10 GPAs in my class, only three of them I would of classified as in the 10 most intelligent kids in my school (I partially base this on success in college, participation in non-athletic activities, knowing the people and talking to them about outside interests, etc... of course this is all in my opinion)... and in my experience the people who deem themselves the most popular, were generally more hated than other people in the popular cliques.
gvdav
· 1 year ago
yup
gvdav
· 1 year ago
boner jam
Rev. Luke
· 1 year ago
It's hard to argue with this essay, & I cant claim to disagree with a thing in it. I certainly was in the higher levels of nerd-dom (the ones who were not only smart & inept, but skilled & progressive, with a self-identity that insulated us from the worst of middle & high school harshness), but as a dad I homeschooled my sons, making them a vital part of the family, community, &, I hope, world. The only thing I will say on behalf of the dismal public school culture, is that, at least, I learned intelligence. That is, though I cant remember most of the facts, I do recall the process of thinking more deeply than I otherwise would have. Oh, yes, a dollar bill is just paper, & it is symblic of a wider social agreement...stuff like that. Also, growing up in a sheltered religious family, I got exposed to things other than what my parents offered. I know this isnt much, but its something. Do yourself & your kids a favor: homeschool them or send them to a charter school that is more respectful of their personhood.
cartman1993
· 1 year ago
NERD!!!!!
Sir Tristan
· 1 year ago
Theres full of bullying in schools in USA. I go to a boy school in Liverpool UK (St. Margaret's High School) and even though bullying is a bit of a problem, they have "Bully-busters" departament which solves EVERY problem. Trust me. Not to mention the uniforms - yeah, I would go to USA High School for a week to check it all out. And yeah, i would want fit girls to support school's rugby team. But the article is really good.
Sir Andrew
· 1 year ago
in my school the smart kids are the popular kids. id say im smarter than average and i have a good amount of friends but im definitely not an outcast..
my friends and i sit in the 'a' section even though we probably belong in the 'b' or 'c' haha
but we do have lots of friends in the cafe so its ok
Sharon
· 1 year ago
I totally agree. I'm not exactly a nerd, but I am considered "one of the smart people" and quite unpopular. Popularity doesn't suit me. It seems ridiculous to me that people spend so much effort in an area of their life that is very minor. But it does make me miserable. For instance, I am not accepted by popular people, but my personality is not considered "nerdy" enough to have friends labeled as that. I think the part about suicide is very true. I once made a list brainstorming methods of suicide and listing the advantages and disadvantage, after researching for a few months. After I decided which method to use, I decided I was too cowardly to kill myself. Well, I realized that even though my life is screwed up, I still can make a difference to this world someday. Hopefully.
kg
· 1 year ago
Why are you US guys so worried about "popularity". You wanna be such a show off!!
CanadianKid14
· 1 year ago
It's not something that happens voluntarily, as it was stated before it is just the circumstance that our society creates. Re-read the essay and see if it makes more sense.
The Black Knight
· 1 year ago
um.........................NERD
CanadianKid14
· 1 year ago
That was a good read. I'm 16 and in high school, I too was at the D table all throughout Junior High, the thing is I shifted focus coming into High School. I was the "nerd" who decided to become popular.
It's weird, comparing me now and me then, I am much less nerdy and I have many more friends. I've all but discarded my nerd label that I was addressed by for three years, over the course of one year. The best part is, I retained my inelegance. I'm no longer a nerd, but I'm no were near popular, or at least I don't think. I've moved from the D table to the C table, I may actually be closer to a B then a C.
However, like I said I retained my inelegance. As you said the nerds have to find it within themselves, I know I did. And if these "nerds" try hard enough, they can have both: Smarts, and popularity. Your popularity may not be at the top of the social ladder, but it is a huge step above what you had before.
Again, an excellent read.
Mia
· 1 year ago
I'm amazed. Truly amazed. You, sir, have described high school perfectly. I'm 16, in high school, and hate it with every fiber of my being. I'm very unpopular...more like a nerd-freak hybrid--"emo", if you will. My mom has offered me the chance to change to an accelerated school, but seeing as i've already put down roots where I am, it's nearly impossible to leave until graduation. I loved your article, and frankly I wish more people would read it. It seriously made me tear up because it showed me that i'm not the only one with these problems. God bless.
Jam
· 1 year ago
Your brain thinks like mine, you just put it better.
nerdygirl
· 1 year ago
What I also find interesting is that politicians who act too intellectual are labeled elitist, which is simply another way of calling them 'nerds.'
However, as soon as I got to High School, popularity became irrelevent because there were so many social groups that they all had about the same amount of people. It was only the Tam-O-Kids (school slang for rich kids derived from the gated community where they lived) that controlled the ASB and were considered 'popular' by the common definition.
Andrea
· 1 year ago
I adore this essay. It epitomizes everything I think of. I have always wondered why being popular was so important. I was nowhere being popular but I aws happy to say I wasn't at the bottom. But, I always wanted to help out and stop this crazy system; I never did. Well, maybe I can still. I guess I just came into a monstorously upgraded system from elemtanry school but its still harsh. Though I want to be "popular", I probably never will. But, guess what? I'd rather prick myself with a thorn than others with my thorn.
Andrea
· 1 year ago
I've read the reply to your essay and the one about "nerds deserve it" made me think. I know someone ( trust me its not me it really is someone i know) who tries her best not to talk and is very pleasant. Yet everyone continously makes fun of her. Why? Same reason as you stated. So, she may not be Miss Universe, I believe everyone should just forget about appearances for just one single second! It angers me when people are cruel to those who have done practically nothing wrong. No, not all nerds deserve it. In fact, many I know don't. It's just the world we live in goes by one single sadistic rule: step on their pain befor they can step on yours.
Grace
· 1 year ago
In high school, I always always the weird kid who people would come to in every class if they didn't know how to do something - ranging from calculus to chemistry to theater... I really didn't dress or act like anyone else (aside from maybe my best friend) at school, nor was I into the same music... and by all means, there was really no reason that I shouldn't of been shunned (which I was during middle school), other than at some period between 13 and 14 my self esteem improved dramatically - probably because I had began acting and had come to find that I had a knack for it and people loved my big personality on stage... I really think you neglected how big of an effect confidence can really make in how popular someone is - while intelligent children tend to have high self efficacy, their self confidence tends to be lower than that of their peers - perhaps because they're more sensitive to the world around them due to their intelligence. I got by being well liked and dare I say, even popular (maybe a B+) through most of high school... while doing things like reading Chomsky, books on neurological development, biochemistry, and other things which did not much interest my peers.
My other partial objection in here is regarding academics, at least in science fields, right now I am just finishing up my degree in biochemistry and genetics and I am about to go to Oxford to do research for a brief time before I (hopefully) enter a graduate program to continue my studies in biochemistry. I've done a good deal of research in genetics and neurology for an undergraduate student, have authored a publication and been to a conference... the point of all of this isn't to say how well I've done, but more that I am pretty well networked among biochemists, geneticists and a few other science academics... and while being nerdy may be exaggerated (I know this well, after making and telling a few too many jokes about my research)... but, at least among professors it seems like charisma is becoming ever increasingly important. You're expected to be nerdy and weird, but also have a somehow magnetic personality... it's sort of an interesting dichotomy.
Laney
· 1 year ago
The writer starts with a disclaimer that he went through puberty, played soccer, and started an “underground newspaper” to dissuade people from calling him a disgruntled nerd. Well, that would put him at maybe the “C” table, tops. It also allows him to pretend that he could have been popular, but because he wanted to be “smart,” he opted to be a nerd. He also admits that at his high school, “being smart just didn't matter much.” But then, he goes on to say, “there was something else I wanted more [than popularity]: to be smart.” Why not opt for both, if you’re so smart? And despite stating from the outset that “smart” and “nerd” aren’t interchangeable, he certainly uses them as such. I’d argue that while the author and his friends saw five distinct social levels (assumedly, since they’re labeled A-E), those that he labels popular would likely have seen three. If “this nightmare scenario happens without any conscious malice,” why the blame? His evidence is one clueless teacher and “what [he has] read” about prisons. “And so, apparently, do society wives; in some parts of Manhattan, life for women sounds like a continuation of high school, with all the same petty intrigues.” There’s a hierarchy and a pecking order no matter where your place in society is; I work in IT and those who are “technical” look down on those who fulfill administrative functions, those who aren’t in the Union look down on those who are, etc. I’d like to see some statistics here; from where did he draw this conclusion? He admits that “sometimes, particularly in university math and science departments, nerds deliberately exaggerate their awkwardness in order to seem smarter.” So… basically everyone is posturing? Why is the posturing of the nerds excusable? He claims to “remember sitting in the audience at a "pep rally" at my high school, watching as the cheerleaders threw an effigy of an opposing player into the audience to be torn to pieces. I felt like an explorer witnessing some bizarre tribal ritual.” This was obviously organized by adults and administrators, so where is the blame for those who should have been in control here? “Officially the purpose of schools is to teach kids.” No, it isn’t. Look at the literature, or ask any educational professional what the purpose of schools is. They’ll tell you it is socialization.
t
· 1 year ago
ttttt
gadgetgeek
· 1 year ago
I can see your point of veiw, and I agree to parts of it. I think we don't want to be popular might have a little to do with it for some things. I wanted to be popular, and off topic, but if you want to make your life a heck of a lot easier, accept that you will never fit in because no matter how much you want it, in a standardized school, either you are a brainless jerk who's more conserned with his hair than their test scores, and will end up working in a factory that the "nerds" run, or you have a brain and are an automatic outcast. end of story
Henry Cao
· 1 year ago
I agree with most of this, though I would have to say that it is a rather radical viewpoint.
nerd_loves_teddies
· 1 year ago
nerds make the best relationship partners, hubby and wife. there is more than just what you see; thick lens glasses, crazy outfit, crazy diet, rock music and funny love for gizmos. try dating a nerd......mind you don't get impatient after the first date!!
kisslesrock
· 1 year ago
I never thought of it that way. Thank you!
flc2006
· 1 year ago
Kids are just cruel you gotta move on with your life, i was not that popular in grades K-12. I realized i had to move on most of those people that made fun of me do not even remember me.
What boosted my confidence is when my father bought me my first vehicle, if it were not for that i would be down, also working with my big sister helped me see that light i gotta let the bad people from my past go.
I have seen some of classmates from school the majority of them do not have cars, if they have a car it is almost twenty years old. Having material things helps self esteem to a certain extent, when you are doing good you do not have the time to worry about people that are not helping you achieve your goals i put those school years behind me. I realize that was in school to get a education, not to be cool.
well
· 1 year ago
I liked it but I think some of it was just a repeat of somthing said earlier on and was just wasted space...lol Anyways great work.
Patrick
· 1 year ago
This essay was almost Chestertonian (which is the highest compliment I can give) in its insights, conclusions, and truth. I've never heard anyone analyze high school life in such an illuminating way, making me realize so much about my own experience. Life and learning are awesome, but high school had very little to do with either.
Ben
· 1 year ago
Well, I just graduated from 8th grade a month ago, and I went to a small private school. I'm a nerd, but so far, and probably because of my small class, I haven't had many problems with it. I can honestly say I like most of my classmates, and I'm seldom treated badly because of it. I occasionally feel like I'm on the outside looking in, but that's probably my own choice as much as anything. I did find most of what's said ion this article to be true, though less so in my case. Even in what's basically a great group of kids, I can see the casual cruelty that seems to be hardwired in. It also helps that it's a relatively smart class. I've also honestly realized quite a bit of what's being said here, at least about it not being some natural fact of life or all my fault; I certainly don't feel that's there's something wrong with me. I'm privileged to be able to see the situation somewhat objectively, and to have access to sources of discussion like this article. I have found that people sometimes try to become outcasts, so they'll fit in to the nerd group; I try to be myself .Still, I'm having a great time with my life; we'll have to see what happens in high school. And phew, what a long first comment. This is the third essay on this site that I've read, and so far they've all been interesting and thought provoking. Great job.
papagenabird
· 1 year ago
i'm an 18 year old girl going to start at mit in the fall and i think you are so very right. its not that we didn't want to have friends or we didn't have the ability to make friends. its not that we were unattractive, annoying, or uninteresting to talk with, we were just distracted with schoolwork.
sometimes i regret it.
Rajesh Nandipaty
· 1 year ago
Thank you for my confidence.
bahrom
· 1 year ago
i am just so glad to read ur article......now it really feels like it is not a crime to be a 'NERD'
DensityDuck
· 1 year ago
There's two reasons that girls dont' like nerds.
One is that we aren't hot.
The other is that nerds don't need to be "fixed". I can walk and talk and dress myself and clean up the bathroom, flush the toilet, make dinner, find and keep a job. I don't spend the entire day in my underpants playing Xbox eating Triscuits and Wispride. I don't need to find a Mom to take care of me. I can't be molded and shaped and turned into something that she can look at and say, "what a good person am I, that I turned this uncultured brute into a human being."
Mark
· 1 year ago
Unlike male-to-female attraction, which is primarily based on physical appearance, female-to-male attraction is primarily based on social status (i.e. "coolness"). It's hard-wired into us. The difference between high school and the real world is that social status is much more complex in the real world.
Bill Thompson
· 1 year ago
im 24 going on i can honestly say that highschool is the worst time it has always been particulary bad in my opinion that time i can remember before i got into highschool i had my throat cut open my bicylce vandalised several times being called names and so on.
it might sound horribly insensitive and believe me i do feel bad for those that died, but for me the best part of my school life was after columbine i was a nice quiet kid who took a lot of shit and after that people were a bit afraid to push me because of what might happen.
also this is damn insightful, i want to make every kid read it once a year from age 10 to 15 (yeah i know hard enough getting the average kid to read a paragraph let alone this whole thing) it might give some youth like i was hope (and trust me i felt pretty hopeless at times. having my throat cut open and bike vandalized were 2 of the more minor things that happened) and show bully's a reason to be nice to nerds.
hope
· 1 year ago
I'm 26 and the only time my life stopped being tortuous was the day after Columbine. I actually had guys who had slammed my head into lockers, and others who had verbally harangue me for years come up and apologize to me :O I don't have a violent bone in my body, but all of a sudden the principal and teachers were bending over backward making sure I wasn't being emotionally or physically tortured any more.
I can honestly say that after 10 years of constant harrassment and emotional and physical torment (combined with extreme religious views hoisted on me by parents that it was the Christian thing to never fight back) that the massacre at Columbine made the assholes at least afraid to try to break me, and it definitely made life bareable after I had gone through so much.
Mark
· 1 year ago
I was pretty badly scarred by high school -- mine was so small, I was basically the only nerd. Paul Graham is exactly right in that being at the bottom of the hierarchy means everyone one else tortures you to improve their own social standing. I'm 33 now and still experience pretty extreme social anxiety in certain situations. It's a learned response, and it's hard to break.
Pegasus
· 1 year ago
I'd say it's the other way round.
BECAUSE you're not popular, it forces you into developing some kind of other strength, like "intelligence".
Everyone need something to pride themselves of. If you cannot pride yourself of being good looking, funny or social, then one option is to adapt a "nerd" image.
Also...... I disagree with the notion that nerds are REALLY intelligent. They are just more reflected in certain areas, in terms of having spent more time than other people pondering about certain things.
I don't think most nerds have any genetic advantages that them making them more intelligent. I think it's mostly a self taught thing... achieved by focusing wery strongly on certain subjects.
fgsdfg
· 1 year ago
dipohiojtoihmiomshmiodsh
Proud Nerd
· 1 year ago
Hi Pegasus, I happen to be a nerd becoming a freshmen this year, and I have to say that i did not teach myself to be a nerd, nor do I have more time to ponder about certain things. popular people think that nerds read and only read and study, but in real life, nerds study less than popular people, we just care about what our future is going to be, not how our life is now. it annoys the crap out of me that popular people do this stereotyping. we are just like you and are really intelligent. i do one thing, which is listen, unlike popular people who like to talk and chit chat. I don't want to be mean to anyone, but social classes should just leave each other alone. and its better to be the smart and successful as an adult because the nerdiest kid in school may be the guy you work for.
Deepelmdesciple
· 1 year ago
This is true. I was never a nerd or completely retarded but in 8th grade I hung out with a few nerds, and by 10th grade I was the center of the popular crowd. And the only thing that changed was that I was on the football team at that point, and I spent every second interacting with everyone who was anyone. If I hadn't answered my phone, went to a party, or said yes to anyone important who wanted to do something I could've been left behind in an instant. It's alot of work. But I always thought of it as practice because in the real world you have to get around and network with people like that constantly, and be good at it, because its not what you know, its who you know. Thats the difference between the two I think, the ways we absorbed information. Popular people just thought it was better to always know what was going on with the people. I mean, can you accomplish more if you're the smartest person in America, or if the important and influential people are your friends??
Tickey
· 1 year ago
After school out in the real world,what attracts a woman to a man is the size of his wallet.Woman are genetically programed to exploit a mans bank balance.
a good friend
· 1 year ago
I'm cool noty nerdy
tigerthink
· 1 year ago
Attention all nerds:
If you live in California, there is a test called the CHSPE that you can take after your sophomore year in high school. If you pass you can go to college two years early. You will probably end up going to community college, but community college is much better IMO. Generally you can transfer to a four-year university from there.
tigerthink
· 1 year ago
Attention all nerds:
If you live in California, there is a test called the CHSPE that you can take after your sophomore year in high school. If you pass you can go to college two years early. You will probably end up going to community college, but community college is still much better than high school. Generally you can transfer to a four-year university from there.
tigerthink
· 1 year ago
Woops, sorry for the dupe. :-(
shadowlifting
· 1 year ago
I followed this exact pattern. I went to a community college and the California college system makes it very easy to be accepted into a UC. I went to UCLA and graduated with a math degree. It was a really convenient way to go and I definitely suggest it over high school.
Art_Nerd
· 1 year ago
You made some really interesting points in this essay. I just finished my first year of teaching high school art and all I can say is some of my kids are really cruel to each other. In education classes I learned that public schools partly developed to protect kids from sweat shops and child labor during the industrial revolution. More than just keeping them off the streets schools are meant to protect kids and prepare them for our society. I think in some ways high school is a microcosm of our harsh capitalistic society. It is a difficult world at any age. When I was in high school I was never really picked on but I it was a pretty miserable experience. I think I sort of kept to myself and dressed in a way that conformed enough so that nobody noticed me. I used to try to take so many extra classes that I didn't have a lunch period. I think I was only in the cafeteria for a full lunch period once in all four years. The semester I had a lunch my art teacher let me stay in his room and paint. Now that I'm teaching I sometimes wonder how I can actually make the experience better for my kids. It is hard though, I get so overwhelmed with trying to plan decent lessons and keep the class running smoothly that it is tough to really know what is going on in their world. I have to admit I'm pretty far removed from understanding their social lives, but I guess I was removed from the social scene when I was a student too. I think it is even tougher because the students I teach are from a very different socio-economic background than I grew up in and I don't always understand their culture. I really do feel like a prison warden sometimes. I have to be really strict or they try to walk all over me, especially since I'm pretty young. I’m 26 but the first day they thought I was a student. It is a battle just to get them to put any effort into their class work. It may be compounded by the fact that some of my colleagues let them get away with not doing much. The truth is most of them don't care about what I'm teaching. Of the 150 students I taught this year, I could count on my fingers the kids with a sincere interest in art. I'm hoping some will appreciate it when they get older but to be realistic, I know they don't need to know about impressionism and cubism to succeed in their future. I think as a teacher I need to work on being more understanding, but taking on all their issues and the social system is a lot of work. This year at my school there were seven fights in one day. I had a kid put his fist through a glass window because someone teased him – it was the last straw on the anniversary of his mother’s death. It is a really tough world and it is hard to know how to help. The comments about Columbine were really sad. I can remember at my school we had a bomb threat a few days after it and everyone started talking about this one girl because she wore a trench coat to school. I have to say though, however much you may be picked on, it is really disturbing to hear anyone taking about reaping benefits from such a tragedy. High school is rough for everyone. I started letting one girl stay in my room at lunch this year because she said she didn't have anyone to sit with. By the end of the year I had about five kids in there that I couldn't get rid of them. Sometimes I don't know what advice to even give them, except that they will get through it.
Chris
· 1 year ago
I come from South Africa and unless it's attending a higher education institute like university or college you would be incredibly hard pressed to find a school that doesn't make use of a uniform and dress code. Do you think that if American public schools were to implement something like this there would be less stereo-typing? The biggest or at least one of the biggest contributing factors to stereo-typing is appearance and if everyone dresses the same the probability of stereo-typing lessons or at least on an aesthetic level. Obviously it wouldn't cure the problem but don't you think it would improve it? I went to a private school where originally the uniform and dress code were very open, that changed a lot over the years and I resented it at the time but looking back a couple years I understand the reasoning behind it.
Bawls
· 1 year ago
Everything written was so true, I just graduated this year and feel already that all twelve years of school were rather pointless. I dealt with this by being an active slacker. I took honors and AP courses so that my B grades would still acquire a 4.0 on the grade point average scale. What did I learn this whole time? Very little. Probably the only valuable things high school teaches those willing to listen are math (problem solving skills to be more broad) and the ability to learn. Some people overlook the fact that learning can be an augmented ability; if you are willing to put forth even a little effort you will find that learning, or in most cases memorizing (as high school is more fact memorization than applied thought) becomes very easy with practice.
Flo
· 1 year ago
Hi,
I think you're absolutely right, even though I don't live in America's conditions in the ins and outs of coolness, but I know what it feels like to be a nerd. You feel like crying, but then again, I had an outer shell so no one really cared about me. Because, you see, I moved schools. My first school, I was really popular everyone was really nice to me. The next school, we had four classes, 2 were the normal ones, the other two were the really smart people, they came from different schools across New South Wales. Only 160 people got in. I was assuming everyone would be nice to me and I would be nice to them, but I seemed wrong, some people there liked swearing, it seemed that swearing was 'cool'. I didn't like it so I kept away from that group. And that's the end of the story. But I have some advice to people who are picked on with friends. Like, you're just crossing the grounds of your school and these random people come and start teasing you and your friends. It's unfair because your outnumbered. 8 to 3. Join your group together with another group and then it's a lot harder for people to pick on you if you have back up. But how do you join? I know this going to sound like lying but it works. Agree with all the people. You can sometimes disagree if it's something small but agree big-time. Then once you've known all about the other person, bring everyone who likes the same thing (such as if some people like cats) to the movies or something about the cat. Now that you have some other friends, rejoin your original group, and the people who like cats will follow you and the people who like the people that like cats will have to join you to. Actually, don't follow this piece of advice, it only sometimes works.
juca2
· 1 year ago
This essay is closely related to the book http://www.amazon.com/Amusing-Ourselves-Death-D... after reading both I think nerds in scholl can be defined as a kind of unconscious rebels against the meaningless show business culture that pervades our culture. cheers from brazil.
cuzur
· 1 year ago
Happy Birthday mate !!!!! wicked party we loved the starwars posters and world of warcraft stuff in your house !! it was a rave!!
TM
· 1 year ago
This is my new philosophy on life
zxzxzxzc
· 1 year ago
my sister shot herself because of this good points man it has inlightened me
Skibz777
· 1 year ago
Dude, I didn't actually read the whole thing...but I skimmed through the first few paragraphs and they seemed to be really well written. I'm not even sure what it is I'm reading but I'm a big fan of it! I'm really interested in it. It seems that you like to use words.
Maybe - if I remember - I can come back and read the whole thing. I probably won't, I'll probably forget it forver, but I'll never forgret the time it was neat to remember...that one time right now.
Thank you! Always don't write!
Skibz777
· 1 year ago
No, ALWAYS WRITE! ALWAYS WRITE!
Unless you're old or dead, in which case I missed you by only a decade.
David Evans
· 1 year ago
Very interesting article, though I think a bit one-sided. My rant: The root of the problem is not schools. The problem is that it's ALL a game. In schools, popularity is the purpose of existence. In adult life, the game switches to procreation, the game of games. It's all dictated by our genes and we are but puppets in the great play. Capitalism is a manifestation of this basic survival instinct, the economic evolution accompanying it, and from it came schools, but none of it is inherently evil or pointless. Perhaps in the future we will have a true free-market society, without public schools, where only the strongest educate themselves, find jobs, survive, and find mates. Schools may not be the most efficient machine ever devised, but God knows the kids need some form of face-to-face socialization in today's society overrun by cell phones and instant messaging. If you ask me, the increasing isolation of people is the worst thing of all so maybe schools aren't so bad after all even if they do feel like prisons where kids spend 12 years jumping through hoops. Furthermore, you get out of something what you put into it, so I doubt the nerds are actually being hurt by the system. If anything, negative experiences there will only temper them for the real world where life is even less fair. But ironically, they aren't the ones who should fear it. For the popular kids, it will be a stark awakening.
highschoolgrad2008
· 1 year ago
This essay was quite interesting, but it seems a bit narrow minded to classify teenagers so rigidly. Maybe my high school experience as an over-achiever was different than others. Maybe I had the self-confidence to disregard what other thought. However, I do strongly agree about your analysis about "nerds" failure to be "popular" because it is simply not the first priority. I also agree with "nerds" being able to see what's important on the next stage after high school. Intelligence trumps popularity any day and as long as one finds a good group of friends the amount of friends one has or how popular one is, hardly matters.
Unknown
· 1 year ago
"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." Albert Einstein
Chris
· 1 year ago
So true! This 'Albert Einstein' sounds like a clever guy! :P
Obsedian
· 1 year ago
This essay has laid down in entirety the little bits and pieces that I have gleaned through my last four years of school. I myself am still within the system with two more years left to go. This has really opened my eyes and will make school a little more livable. Thanks. I'll be forwarding this to a lot of people.
thegrayghostXIII
· 1 year ago
...As a "smart" or "socially friendly" nerd, I learned from an early age that some of my hobbies and interests are not what the general public would deem...popular (i.e...reading/researching, intelligent conversation/debate, video games, chess...insert popular nerd/smart hobbies to infinity here cause I've done it all). So I would keep to myself until I COULD find people that shared those same interests (which resulted in a small but very close network of friends). It's just like any other social group and it's because, as I would best put it from my experience, a lot of intelligent people perhaps grow jaded of how many people never "connect" or "click" with them...so we essentially just give up on becoming popular. There is no point to exercise in something you do not have and although more the efforts for you if you succeed in doing so...somehow...you focus on what you do have, even if popularity seems to be the "popular" tradeoff.
Sigh
· 1 year ago
I didn't read the entire essay, but from what i did read my view of a stereotypical american school seems sadly true. I live in South Africa and in our schools there is a vague semblance of the categories that each child fits into, but it isn't as rigidly defined. I was considered a 'nerd' in school although I didn't fit into a typical definition for a nerd. I also just so happened to be friends with the 'jock' headboy who was better at maths and science. I also fitted into the 'artist' category without smoking or dressing weirdly. Our headgirl was my best friend and she wasn't your average prom queen. let alone stupid. I'm probably wrong in assuming this, but it seems that americans try to stereotype themselves and sit at the tables they are told to fit into... Please tell me that I'm wrong and that you don't all stick to a category, why can't anyone just be who they are?
BobbieDawn
· 1 year ago
I was a nerd at my school and popular at another school - that's where all of my friends were and I attended all of they're parties. The key is that nobody knew that I was smart at the other school because nobody ever saw me in class to see all of my A+ grades!
Jorge Andres Galarza Rueda
· 1 year ago
Hi there, I read your article and I think that for the most part your thesis is correct. Thanks for writting it, quite enjoyable!
Jammer
· 1 year ago
doing well in school doesn't mean you're "smart", it just means you did well at telling the system what it told you to tell it. Most "popular" kids can see this and that's why it's not "cool".
Ash
· 1 year ago
"Too cool for school"?
Jammer
· 1 year ago
I wasn't a nerd (but I always stood up for them) and I didn't care about being cool or popular, it has never been of any interest to me. I was not intersted in school work but I scored an IQ of 155 when I was 16, that just means I was good at IQ tests. If you enjoy doing well at school, keep it up. Don't worry about being popular, it's mostly a confidence thing rather than how well you're doing at school. The less you care about what people think of you, the more popular you will become.
Steve
· 1 year ago
I'm 14, just out of eighth, and I read it. I'm not sure if I didn't write this... This is my life exactly, my thoughts exactly, and comparisons that I can relate to. Heard of straight A's since kindergarten? That's me! IQ of 145? That's me! This was a great article.
THEUNKNOWN
· 1 year ago
Hey.....well, I didn't read your WHOLE article. But at my school, (by the way, I'm a 14 year-old going into 10th grade) there's really nothing like this. My school is pretty good with this stuff. EVERYONE GETS ALONG WITH EVERYONE.....that is.....unless you're a total fakey.....because everyone hates those. But yea, I'm friends with everyone and I have gotten A's all throughout elementary, middle, and high school so far. Yea, I'm an "all A student". But still, I skate, sing, and play drums. I mean, just because you're smart doesn't mean you're not well-rounded or can't play sports or something. I workout everyday!!!! Lol! But this artticle is inspiring.....I like it!!!!!!!!!!!!
asdfasfas
· 1 year ago
Either I'm lucky or times have changed. I have never experienced anything of the sort although it is entirely possible that I am the outlier. Although I agree with many of the points, there is entirely too much generalization and over simplification in this essay. Keep in mind that the author attended high school approximately 30 years ago as well.
anonymous
· 1 year ago
Thank you very much for writting this article. I too, am a nerd, very smart in many aspects especially computers, and although im 'higher-up' than most nerds as I have not alot but enough confidence to get through the day, this essay really helped me understand that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that school is nothing more than a holding place for the "important" people to do their work.
Jammer
· 1 year ago
The education system wants everyone to be clever (their definition of clever), I think nerds are unpopular because they are doing what they are told. The education system isn't about learning as much as it is about conditioning. I know people that have had a very poor education but they are incredibley "switched on" and I know people that produced an excellent standard of work in school but have no common sense or wisdom. Schools tell you stuff and you repeat it back to them, don't be fooled, this is not intelligence.
That Guy
· 1 year ago
That's an interesting idea you have. As a nerd, I can understand the fact that the public school system's incompetece can lead to the social unpopularity of us nerds, but it is not totally to blame. Pop culture is also negative to nerds. Here is a conversation spoof in the Simpsons
Homer: "So then we played Dungeons and Dragons for 5 hours... then my character was slain by an elf." Bart: "Listen to yourself man, you're hanging with nerds." Homer: "What? You take that back! Nerds are my worst enemy!" Marge: "Homer those kids are nice people but they're obviously nerds."
In that same episode, Homer decides to give the nerds at his college a hard time so he makes fun of them in front of a jock (who is actually a nerd). And that's just one show.
So yeah, much as I hate the public school system and the fact that a lot of your theories are sound, with pop culture making fun of nerds and even making shows that are made to make fun of people for being smart (Family Matters anyone?), then it's no wonder nerds are unpopular.
It's about time that people starting realising (or admitting) that school is effectively worthless as real-life preparation. I would hazard that I've now forgotten around 50% of the education I had, and I'm only a year removed from year 13 (17-18 years old). It's undoubtedly because it will not help me in the slightest when I'm older to be able to, for example, bisect an acute angle using a compass, unless I go into mathematics - and even then I can't think of a useful application of it.
Jammer has it spot on - temporarily being able to recall facts about historical wars and recent literature and the photosynthesis process is not intelligence. Intelligence is about grasping concepts and forming ideas and opinions, not using memory. In the real world, it is usually better to be skilled at a job rather than intelligent - just look at footballers or movie stars - but intelligence can help you adapt, it just can't really be taught.
One thing I think this essay missed that seemed a bit obvious to me is why the real, grown up world is more hospitable to nerds. Surely it is because, in the real world, nerds can be appreciated because of the skills they bring. In schools, other kids couldn't care less about a nerd being able to program software, but to a software company, it's vital. A nerd suddenly becomes a valuable commodity when you have a technological need or problem, but high school kids don't need to think that way. A typical high school kid is more in reverance of a guy who can hit a ball well than a guy who can do advanced calculus.
Shame, really, that school can't at least teach kids perspective.
bob.
adrian
· 1 year ago
you got one thing wrong. There's a bottom line where choice does not come into it. You don't choose to be smart you are or not. And kidults don't have any perspective other than their location in a growth curve between baby and old, unless they are extremely smart. a.
bobmcgoo
· 1 year ago
Where did I say you can choose whether to be smart or not?
Also, what on earth is a kidult?
Graham
· 1 year ago
This is a great essay. As an unrepentant nerd / geek (is there a difference)? I identify with what you say and I'm convinced you speak for a heck of a lot of people.
Thanks.
N.E.R.D.
· 1 year ago
(and look at the all the nerds here...and you called us unpopular )
Colin_J_Fehr
· 1 year ago
Great work. I envy your voice. As a "nerd" myself, i see everything you've stated, although, somehow, ive beaten the system. I continue to excel in school, yet, people like me despite the face i dont consider myself praticularly good looking, proficient at sports, or the sibling of a "cool" kid. I was especcially impressed at the point where you mentioned choosing between popularity and intelligence. Ive never been in that situation, but i had been in a similar one. I was being forced to choose between telling my crush something id sworn not to tell anyone, and not saying, dissapointing her, and risking her getting mad at me. It killed me, but i chose to keep my honor. When i say words to my friends such as "honour" "integrity" and "character" i receive blank looks, as if im using the wrong words, which i am. no kid my age is supposed to care so much abnout what is right, but instead what puts me up on the social ladder.
Thanks you for your words, i wont forget them.
frogman3
· 1 year ago
Having moved from a smaller town to a city at the ripe age of 13, I think this holds true in cities much more than smaller communities. In the small town I was in nerds (me) pretty much fit in with everyone, were seen as a piece of the whole. In the city, being able to be annonomise (sp?) it was much harder to see the whole, so creating the situation you've stated was 'the way things happened to be.' Not that there wasn't a known heierarchy in the small town, it just wasn't acted on in a cruel fashion. Everyone realized that the court need a jester and a town idiot. Great essey.
RabbiInfinity
· 1 year ago
This is one of the best essays I have read about teens. Not just nerds--teens and teen society in general. The author has a clear insight and knows how to articulate what he sees. The central thesis, that a society of people that have no impact on anything important will be a sick society, is a universal truth that can assist us in healing many illnesses of the modern day.
pfb9632
· 1 year ago
Thank you! This essay is spirit lifting and very enlighting. Currently being a nerd, I relate to much of what you have said and now will be able to ponder on these aspects of teenage life.
Chris
· 1 year ago
"Tactful is the opposite of clumsy. I don't think I learned this until college." I come from a third world country and understood that word more than you seem to even understand it now when I was eleven. Tact isn't the opposite of clumsiness it's the opposite of blatancy. Proficiency is the opposite of clumsiness.
This essay makes no sense on so many levels it's scary. You're writing about what other disgruntled nerds want to hear. Stating blatantly (the opposite of tactfully) that nerds are superior without exception to all other high school stereotypes because they didn't like the way people treated them in school is silly.
You're just an angry child yourself because now that you have the ears of those within your community you cast bad light on those you don't like based on the fact that people like - but not neccessarily them - didn't like you when you were young.
Pablo
· 1 year ago
Cheers, nice to know someones thinking out there...
Marcin
· 1 year ago
Great read. The "suburbia nursery" idea is really brilliant. I never realized.
Kim
· 1 year ago
I am 13, in Florida, where *everyone* in my middle school are already naturally beautiful. :)
Still, I am considered a genius, along with a lot of other kids who are extremely smart. This essay seems like it's purpose is to encourage stereo-types, which is totally against why it was even made, as you stated.
"Popular" kids are the ones who are a lot of fun, no matter how they look, if their athletic, if their smart, etc. If you are boring, or anti-social... well, you claim nerds are smart. That they can beat the "system", but choose not to. If you act like you absolutely despise everyone and everything around you, or if you dont even want to have friends or be outgoing, yes, I think it's obvious you'll become an easy target to your peers. They will say anything about you, for reasons even you stated.
My point is, if you claim all of that is true, then why the hell are you saying it over again? We know this, we know what we're doing to our "world". (Even though we really dont).
And on how school is worthless? Screw you, if you really were on of the smart kids who are fueled by nothing else other than increasing human understanding, you would know that school is what taught you to read, write, and handle social situations which you obviously still haven't learned how to. While sure, you'll forget half of it, it increases your academic/athletic/social skills in general, which is very helpful later on in life.
If you want to create things, then you know that you'll be in school all your life, learning how to create w/e you want to create. In case you haven't noticed, every generation has taken the ideas of it's former, and made them better. Advancing human technology, evolution, w/e you want to call it, those adults need us, and they EXPECT us to create a world that only the good can envision.
Summed up, you have no idea how to live, man. :)
But on the bright side, you HAVE inspired me. >:)
JJBird
· 1 year ago
I was so impressed by how you thought much of this out It really is original and creative thought. I am a home-schooling Mom and you have hit on some of the reasons for home-schooling. BTW home-schooling is a way to get out of this sad cycle and rescue our kids. I don't think all of school is insipid. I remember an English class in which my gf and I were so fired up we stayed after the bell to finish reading the Shakespearian play. I learned there that I am a good actor and enjoyed that later in life in various ways. I loved bio and art and truly learning to speak another language was exciting and something I still enjoy and employ today. Fortunately for me, I went to an academically demanding school where I did learn a lot. I believe this essay will be helpful to my son - who is surprise, surprise - away at computer camp. Geek heaven. But he has lots of other interests, too - and a ton of friends! Especially now that he has left public school. BTW, Miss genius, Kim, you may wish to note the differing spellings of "their" and "they're" and their correct usages. If you feel free to speak so disparagingly of another it may be wise to be quite unassailable in your own perfection first. At any rate, thank you for your unique and well thought out words. They moved me towards compassion and clarity. And I learned a few cool new vocabulary words as well.
Kim
· 1 year ago
People like you are what made the world how it is today. :(
Aw, Im so sorry I mispelled a few words which even a brain like yours can point out.
But Im guessing, since that's all you could point out... that you failed to realize what points my view made.
As will plenty of others, unfortunately, who tend to believe what comes more readily to mind.
JJBird
· 1 year ago
Hi Kim, I am sorry I was so flip when responding to you. I felt disturbed by some of your comments as they seemed to illustrate just what he was talking aobut. Some kids don't choose to be anti-social or to be "not out-going". they don't know how to do it well! They enjoy thinking about difficult topics or reading literature or doing math more than chatting about the latest movie, etc, etc. It would be a great joy if kids could accept all the differing types of people who are out there. Everyone has worth and if you look deep enough you may be surprised how interesting they are as well as how much to offer they have. As you get older, making the world a better place becomes a real and urgent priority. Being kind even when it is easier and more convenient not to be can be an ideal worth striving for. YOu suggest that school increases your ability to socialize, use academic skills and become more athletic. Having been out of school for many years I can tell you that my academic, social AND athletic skills increased greatly after school was over and I got to discover what I really enjoyed and was good at. Again, I am sorry if I trivialized what you had to say. Its just that speaking aobut a "world the good can envision" in one sentence and then flippantly telling someone "they don't know how to live" seems a bit confusing. Maybe his and your definitions of living well are very different. For that better world to come aobut we all need to envision that that is OK. (The being different that is)
Heather
· 1 year ago
From one former nerd to another, thank you for a thoughtful, articulate essay on the phenomenon of popularity and the role of schools as wholesale prisons.
harish
· 1 year ago
wonderfull i did like one or all of these essays to mail me soo that i can read them often
Chris Pyne
· 1 year ago
Very good article. It's clearly a lot of work to write this, so thank you. Very nice follow-through on some ideas that are usually expressed vaguely.
The bureaucratic options could be explored, but they are remarkably bleak. The system is maximally efficient for a modern industrialized society. We could provide two tracks, so that the brightest ones aren't wasting their time. This is basically what is happening already, and it is a very very good idea. We get the short term payoff of the prison-system, and the long term payoff of still educating the best and brightest.
But at rock bottom, this is just an improved compromise. I have continued to treat it as an economic problem. It is a moral problem too.
This is my take on it. Modern history has seen humans insulate themselves from nature, create their own tools, and set their own terms, and things are good. Things are so good that there are few real points of contact with nature left for most of us. But breeding remains as that one deep point of contact. Raising children is kind of a dirty business where ethical compromises are made for the greater good. Before civilization, where nature ruled, everything was a rather dirty business.
We could instead be amazed at our ingenuity that we have found a viable way to have a specialized industrialized society and still raise sufficient children (not an easy accomplishment, look at Europe).
SerpentStare
· 1 year ago
I think I may forward this to my parents and teachers. They're basically good and fairly open-minded people - they'll pay attention. I was lucky - my high school has lots of good teachers. You've made a few statements I don't agree with - Mostly the one about girls' attraction showing whether nerdiness/intelligence was enviable or not. Girls - trust me here, I am one, and I grew up among them - have their own hierarchy, and are just as cruel. And even if they weren't, deliberately, they still, as you say, ostracize for self-defense. Or to gain ranks with the other cool girls, many of whom do not care, whether due to lack of intelligence themselves, or just being overwhelmed in the popularity contest, how intelligent a boy is - only how "hot" or "cool" he looks.
One thing I do, tremendously agree on, and something I realized in the last year of my high school education - that is, last year - is that, yes. We are bored because our work has no effect, and no value. I haven't got a job yet - I'm still recovering. In my case, this means actually trying to gather enough energy, strength and above all confidence to discard the defensive mechanisms I developed through childhood and school. It isn't all from my time at school, but I know that a significant part of it is.
Good luck trying to convince people to change things, though. Oh, this leads to another thing I wanted to point out. The American false-world of school systems? It's fed into the American false-world of adult life as well. Anyone who's paying attention will have noticed that American and Americanized (the influence goes far, far beyond borders, believe me - I'm actually Canadian. It works the same way there. I recently moved to Australia. It works the same way here) politics fast becomes a popularity contest. Why? Because adults are not immune. And, the kids who devoted their lives to being the top of the popularity contest at school continue to use the "skills" they learned outside of it - and become the top of the pack, or one of various packs, from the local to the national or international level, outside, not by making intelligent choices or even necessarily being competent - but by making themselves popular with the group.
I'll quit ranting now. I'd love a response, though. If anyone wants to contact me and chat more about this, my email is serpentstare@gmail.com.
Dean Kay
· 1 year ago
This is the best description and analysis of junior high and high school life that I've ever read. I was unpopular in high school and later became a succesful attorney in the real world. I wish I had this essay to read back then.
Sam
· 1 year ago
I'm a homeschooled teen, so I'm not familiar with highschool politics. If I were in a public school, though, I'd be a nerd. It's very interesting to hear an informed perspective on what it would be like. I really love the freedom that homeschooling gives to be able to "work for yourself" without the pressures of a useless society. It doesn't squelch social skills. Quite the opposite. Homeschooling allows students more time to interact with real people in the real world. Anyway, thank you for the very interesting read!
Carly
· 1 year ago
The only friend I had in school went to different school, because she had no way to get to school. So I'm going back into 7th grade with no friends at all. I was really scared, but now that I've read this article, I'm a lot less nervous about going back to school. I'd take brains for fame any day. This article really was a lot of help!! :) :P :b :D
Derrin Lawton
· 1 year ago
This article explains me. I'm sort of popular but only because I work at it day and night, because if I didn't I would be a nerd since I get really good grades. It is really hard to maintain a popular status and you have to work at it constantly. I really can't wait until high school is over because it does feel like a holding pen. It's just some day care we are droped off at every day by the school bus so that we can learn a little information we need for college, a lot we won't, and so that we can be out our parent's hair during the day and supposedly out of trouble. I'm so glad I have three years left in high school, because everyday is a challenge to get good grades and stay popular in this fake heirarchial society.
Smartperson
· 1 year ago
What a bunch of crap.
Lundis
· 1 year ago
You need to think twice before you decide for an alias. You obviously aren't smart if you call this essay "a bunch of crap".
Smartperson
· 1 year ago
Which it is. What kind of loser spends his time writing an extraordinarily long and useless essay on how nerds are social outcasts, yet will eventually be more successful than others? Nerds who do not already know this will not spend their time googling "Nerd" and reading an essay that seems to repeat itself every third paragraph when they can spend their time working on a useful problem or situation. You're also likely to notice that truly intelligent people, as well as true nerds, don't write essays referring to their intelligence. On the contrary, they use their intelligence (and time) to accomplish some useful task. In fact, the author of this article, by writing such a long essay, not only wasted his own time but the times of other people claiming to be "nerds" and "intelligent", who read this essay instead of doing something productive. The author would have done much better by spending some time with his kid instead of sitting in front of some god-awful computer, typing a long essay on his own childhood social issues so that other people could agree over the internet and artificially improve his self-esteem.
Lundis
· 1 year ago
What you're saying is that smart people who likes to reflect on their thoughts aren't smart. I can't agree to that, I have friends who are "smarter" than me but have no ability to reflect on their thoughts/actions. You can be smart in different ways, not just being able to calculate maths and similar things. People who are only smart in one way will certainly not write an essay like this, because they can't even if they try. I don't live in America, but I've heard about what schools are like and I would certainly have been a nerd. Actually I would have been in loads of trouble! Thus, I would have enjoyed reading this instead of doing some stupid exercise (which is stupid because the non-smart people have to understand it). However, if you define the word nerd as people who are only intelligent in logical matters, you are right. They won't be able to understand the essay, though they might understand it later when they look back. They could just read it as adults instead and have a bigger chance of understanding it immediately.
Vivien
· 1 year ago
My god, I never realized an article on nerds and their social awkwardness might actually be so humorous. I do suppose that shows how socially retarded I am though. Your definition of nerd seems a little cliche though. I go to the only selective school in my state, where only the smartest people can get accepted via an entrance exam and interview. And, although we love walking round with sudokus and rubik's cubes, I haven't really seen 'nerds' with your description.
Roman
· 1 year ago
I go to a private school, the most expensive in my state, and there are three types of people: smart and athletic people, which are usually quite popular, athletic people, which are sometimes popular, and those who are neither, who stay in the library reading books. They're the ones who are called nerds, because everyone wants to be smart.
RavenWolfe
· 1 year ago
I really enjoyed your essay. I fell between a nerd and a freak. Though I did not do drugs I did where all black. One thing you forgot to address was appearance. I was overweight, at least according to the popular kids. I was also not their idea of beautiful. This were two things that kept me out of their ranks. Another was loose morals. I was not willing to "give it away" and the popular boys didn't care for that idea.
none
· 1 year ago
nice essay im a nerd. it makes sense why the popular kids dont like us. yep i fell into nerd
Luke
· 1 year ago
This essay was a roller coaster of memories. It was incredibly eye opening and seemed to point out facts that I truly believe in. I just wanted to compliment you on a job well done and I wanted to offer a little advice for you. This essay lacks only one thing, a call for action. With nerds all over the world reading this you now have nerds all over the world that support you. All you have to do is come up with a plan for what we can do to change this stupid "society" that our elders have come up with for our children, I guarantee you there would be a massive amount of people that would join your cause. I would.
delirious
· 1 year ago
Thank you Mr.Graham for yet another insightful essay. I would have liked a more nuanced perspective on "how the real world works"; although I whole-heartily agree that popularity contests are a waste of time, I feel "non-nerds" do learn valuable life skills during their school time, namely the ability to relate to others, influence others and function in group and hierarchy. Although the latter two often have negative connotations they are essential to leading a successful and happy life and on this scale nerds are definitely not preparing for the real world. It all ties into the EQ versus IQ debate.
Mike Winters
· 1 year ago
This is a very well-written article. I definitely went through some of this. I was sort of a nerd in high school and painfully thin. I got pushed around a lot and because I was a late bloomer, I sort of had a dorky look back then. Around the age of 18, I began to bloom and while still intelligent was less of a bookworm and started going out. My shoulders broaden and my looks changed to where I was much more attractive. In college, I made a ton of friends and was fairly popular.
I tell everyone this because just because you are picked on in elementary school or high school doesn't mean that is what you have to be today. You have more power than you realize. A high school teacher once told me something profound. He told our class "for those of you who bully the "nerds" in class, have your fun for a few years because eventually when you have put on fifty pounds and are no longer cool. They will have the hot wives and you will be working for them, wishing you were them."
Komal
· 1 year ago
The author's explanation is inadequate, as it does not get to the bottom of why unpopularity is positively correlated with intelligence in some societies and negatively in others. If popularity requires work, then it requires work everywhere, and nerdiness would prevent all people from being popular. There are other, better explanations.
Scott
· 1 year ago
Interesting comment, Komal. I think perhaps that other societies structure school a little bit differently than we do here in the United States. Germany, for instance, puts more emphasis on trades & advanced academics at an earlier age. The period that we would recognize as secondary school is much briefer.
King of the Slaves!
· 1 year ago
I loved your article. I use to be fucked with all the time in school thats until I hit vocational school. I ran into a chid that practiced witch craft and martial arts. He recruited me and other nerds to be in a coven together. After that we were trained through sparing how to fight by are selves and as a group. After that we were like 5 people deep and if some one fucked with any of us we all went after them it pretty much stoped after that. Now I have a son and if he runs in to the same problem in high school I will teach him how to set up his own leagion of friends to kick the crap out of any one who messes with him or his friends.
Phil
· 1 year ago
This article is amazing. I am a current senior (and nerd) in high school and practically everything in this article is dead on. It makes so much sense. I've got to say that I think that there is less bullying where someone insults or humiliates you to your face and you know who it was. It seems to have been replaced more by cyber-bullying, using sites like facebook, myspace, and youtube to anonymously torture others. I fucking HATE high school, I can't wait to graduate.
david
· 1 year ago
things wont get better for you just because you finish high school. running away from your problems is not the answer. if someone's bothering you, sucker punch em in the face. you might get beat up but its all worth it. people are too worried about self preservation. getting in a fight wont kill you, stop being such a pussy. (all said with love)
WB
· 1 year ago
The problems will not end just by graduating from high school.. Trust me on that!
I use Facebook, and I have to say it's incredibly depressing at times. Just because I don't have things like "getting drunk at bars", "reality TV", "cars" or sports listed down as interests, it makes it very difficult to make friends. There's always a kind of cut-off point reached during any period of interaction with another person.
Being without friends I can do with. Having to give up the girls as well, that I can't deal with.
Dewy
· 1 year ago
This was a great article, I am currently going into junior year in high school and It totally makes sense.
You really put into words whats been on the tip of my tongue about the world around me for a long time.
heaven
· 1 year ago
But unpopularity doesn't stop at the end of high school. I'm 40 years old, and it's still the same. The real world is even crueler.
heaven
· 1 year ago
It's not kids that are cruel to other kids, it's people that are cruel to other people, especially if they stand in their way for a job, a promotion or a relationship, or even a frienship. It's like wolves, the alphas get the prey and the mate, they may let their vassals have a share, but the "nerds" get rejected, because they represent another set of values. They are isolated, so they can't defend themselves, nobody taking their side. Beware, young nerds, it won't get better ! You better unite, nerds of all countries, or the popular will ban you from the playground, that is, the real world.
WB
· 1 year ago
I agree with the comments made by heaven. The cruelty nerds face from others continues well into adult life. I've learnt that the hard way. I'm a 23 year old. When I reached 20, I thought I was about to be lifted away from the negative experiences surrounding my school and college days. Did it happen? No it didn't. Most of the time I can cope with life, but there are booms and slumps in my wellbeing, as I'm sure other nerds face. The slumps usually trigger when I either voluntarily or am forced by some set of circumstances to interact with the "outside world". The rest of the time is spent within a "comfort zone", with all interaction with the "outside world" being constrained.
u suk
· 1 year ago
ur a fuking a nerd urself u girl as hole
i suk
· 1 year ago
and u r not worth consideration. you are common.
dallas-dakota
· 1 year ago
Hi, I do not live in the USA, nor do I go to school there. Yes, I am still in high school(the question must have been in your mind, because of my previous sentence). But I fully agree with this thesis. I am dutch, and high schools are a bit different here. While I am neither a 'nerd' nor a 'freak', I think myself as a mix of both or something. I am a outcast by choice, well I did, but somehow I picked up a group of friends who were all upperclassmen, while I am not. We here do not really have 'these groups'. For one, sports, are not that big of a specialization here. Nor is bodybuilding. You have your own kinds of groups, these are not exclusively nerds, freaks or such. Even though its more likely that they'l group toghetter(common interests)..
Sadly due to lack of time I have to cut this response short. I'l continue this response another time.
Aubrey
· 1 year ago
Your essay was amazing! BEYOND AMAZING!!! I always tell my mum that I can't always be happy, but she never believes me. I believe your essay Completely! I am very nerdy in what I do, but I understand that there are better things out there and my smarts are MUCH more important to me than becoming a bubble-headed frilly popular girl! I enjoy being smart and love to do what I LIKE TO DO... and I dont care what other people think... if it makes me happy... I roll with it. I wear the clothes that I like, and dont care what people think. your essay was so inspiring to me... I hope you make it into a book someday. I really believe everything you said in the essay too. You must be an amazing person.
Schara
· 1 year ago
Well written.
(Points to self) Nerd.
I agreed with a lot of what you said.
Bill
· 1 year ago
WoW... I really wish someone would have handed me this article about 5 years ago during my first year in highschool.. Simply Brilliant..
bill
· 1 year ago
hello bob:) whats up well my war with my brain was bad to
ari
· 1 year ago
oh wow-this aricle was an amazing thing to read -i just recently entered high-school, and this seems to be correct about a fair amount of public schools. I am in yuor "D" group and my friends and I are good aqaintences with the "freaks", only they are more punk/skaterduggies. -Also- i dont like the way people ask yuo what yuo would consider yourself(i.e. punk, prep, emo, goth, skater,nerd, retard, jocks, etc.) And I never know what to reply : because my friends and I don't categorize ouselves. This article is amazingly accurate- and all those people who say they are still being bullyed at age 40-- it is not because of their "nerdiness"- its because you dont have enough self-confidence to push your way through life- Adults who hold higher-ranking jobs are almost alwyas bullies, only because they were that same way in high school, so you can atleast give yourself credit for growing up, and not continuing the ways of being a horribly, mean selfish, afraid child.- I actually really enjoyed reading this article, because my sisters' boyfriend referred me to it--(he is another classic example of public social status-when he was in middle-school he was a nerdy-geek who was extremely uncool, however when he moved to different public high shool, because he was new and mysterious his past was not recognized, and he was immedietly accpepted. he tells me stories of how the "popular kids" aren't really friends, its just thier duty to talk to one another stleast once a day, and to acknowledge one another in the hallways, even if they hated one another. You had no extra time to be intelligent, your whole daily routine consisted of fimding the right clothes, listening to the "in" music, gossiping, always being in groups, talking on the phone, and sweettalking teachers, without letting the teachers know it.this in return left no space for studying for thier advanced regents diploma, but it did let them in on the newest gossip.) Also, I've noticed that "popular students" often are favored among teachers, and if the other students didn't hate your guts, they felt specially honored even talking to the popular kids. Another thing that is true is that, when a certain guy you've been crushing on for a month finally talked to you, the next day whenyou tried to talk to him in front of his friends or other popular girls, he would act like a total ass, and make a big joke out of you, or act grossed out by you, then again when the two of you were alone he acted very friendly or even flirted with you, yuo would call him out, but he would deny it.popular kid bullies are perfectly harmless, kind human beings, when they're not with theri friends, but the second they see thier freinds, they try to "act cool" by totally ignoring yu, or brutally teasing you, that is when theygrow claws and their feelings of guilt and ever being a person again completely vaporize. well okay i've said far enough,but I felt it should be added onto this good article, thank you ;)
class of '89
· 1 year ago
You should read John Taylor Gatto's book called Dumbing Us Down. He talks about why schools exist and what they teach - hauntingly familiar. Of course, as a child of the 80's you too would recognize the movie The Breakfast Club in much of what you say in this article. As of yet I don't have teens as children (little young yet - the kids not me). However, last year we had a wonderful girl from Brazil as an exchange student and by November she was an American teen fighting for popularity as much as the ones that grew up here. It's been interesting - she went from an intelligent girl who took school seriously and interacted well with and respected adults. By the time she left she was popular. She was still pretty good about being respectful to adults but she was also very concerned with herself and her interests and less interested in the world around her. However, it didn't take long after she got home to revert back to less of an "American" teen and more interested in the world around her than just herself.
Your pictures look much like my own high school year book. Strange world we lived in (and strange world our children live in!). I've absconded with my own children. I'm homeschooling them in the hopes that they'll grow up to understand more about the world than whether they're a "nerd," "jock," "stoner," or "preppy." Oh, yeah I'm out of date on my terminology - I don't even know what these groups are the kids are talking about in previous comments
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im here for your enlightenmen;
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because you're an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because you're an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because you're an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because you're an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because you're an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
A.
· 1 year ago
Dear Mr. Cunt
I think that you should find out something about the author of this article.
By most criteria, he would not be considered a "narrow minded failure". Try to "just fucking google" "Paul Graham".
Kind Regards
Ft24
· 1 year ago
lol, "Dear Mr. Cunt"
Dude your a complete idiot, shut up and move on. if you didnt like it, dont bother it. and swearing a lot only shows that you have a very limited vocabulary
GET REAL SHIT CUNT
· 1 year ago
ohhhhh man you ignorant fuck, your essay somewhat based on your personal experience, dont think just because you're an unpopular nerd, other "nerds" have the same school life as you did you loser, ahhhahhahah you really are pathetic... what are you 14? hope so, cause your essay is as narrow minded as one.
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
really a shitty cunt
· 1 year ago
You can't form grammatically correct sentences, which makes your bashing of literacy rates hilarious.
Jen
· 1 year ago
You must be "popular". Great essays don't always have to be perfectly gramatically correct. Sometimes the greatest oppinions to read are ones that communicate in a less formal fashion.
Lain
· 1 year ago
Being a person of intelligence somewhere in the range of 130-160 (or more), I think I could shed some light on the issue:
Nerds are unpopular because there is a considerable about of alienation caused by being smart... some hostility, some misunderstanding When I understand something.. it is almost patronizing to actually HAVE to describe why it makes sense to another person, being smart is.. albeit lacking in logic... insulting
Often times, for me anyway, I feel like I'm not intelligent, everyone else is dumb, and it is very frustrating to understand something, to be able to pull stuff out of my head at the speed of light, and to see others confused at some of the simplest task and problem. Some people end up forming frustrations and... not understanding the extent of which one doesn't understand, can actually patronize, and insult another for acting as if they are "that slow". Standing in a room full of r-tards is very frustrating, and a true test of patience for both groups, the nerds and the norms, it may not be "jealousy", or "envy", quite frankly its hostility and it is anger from the illogical emotional misunderstanding.
Daniel Lima
· 1 year ago
This was very enlightening... some of the exact observations I've made in school. I consider myself seperate from the social ladder; I simply go from class to class and exist. During lunch I go to the debate classroom, and sit off by myself as the other kids talk. I myself am very sociable; I'm the class clown in debate class, I think. But during almost all my other classes i simply sit quietly, and when not i talk to the same couple of people... as individuals. I'm not part of a social group at school. Strange... but you just helped me a bit with my speech topic. Thanks dude
Annonymous
· 1 year ago
GREAT essay.....I live in India...and I'm not proud to tell you that the situation in private schools is getting close to the one you've described..... I'm in 9th grade....and I'd say I'm somewhere in the middle of the social ladder...I mean, I'm not popular because I'm not known by everyone....if I was..I'm pretty sure I would be..in our school, being 'famous' is synonymous with being popular.....and I'm not known because I don't want to be...'cause that would involve wearing truckloads of makeup everyday and wearing skirts about 1/2 a foot in length ( a little exaggeration maybe, but not much)This doesn't mean everyone who's popular is an airhead...I have a couple of friends who're really well known..and they're good people who're also smart.....I wouldn't mind being like them, except I'm not sure HOW.....because the social positions have been established already, and changing that is not the easiest thing in the world.
wade
· 1 year ago
ho are you today
Braddon
· 1 year ago
I find it pretty amusing that you describe Renaissance teenagers as cheerful apprentices. Haven't you read about Caravaggio?
I have a feeling that this article is just special pleading by someone who was a traumatised outcast in high school and has made his way in the "real world" by taking the opportunity of graduation to avoid it entirely and permanently.
Jen
· 1 year ago
I think your view is right on. What an amazing essay. I was a freak and chose that as the lesser evil to being labeled a nerd. Now as a Master's student and no longer very freaky, I am proud of my intelligence. If only I could have been so secure about it then. I only wish I could believe the "real world" was better. I just recently got fired by the high school quarterback and I felt like I was reliving high school :(
I figure it is only a matter of time before his C average leads him to further poor decisions. I was probably one of his most capable employees; unfortunately at his learning rate it will take him 3 times longer to realize it :)
Kevin
· 1 year ago
Hmmm... I was a nerd in high school, but I was also one of the most popular kids there as well. Being a nerd or a popular kid has nothing to do with intelligence, it all depends on attitude and social skills. I sucked at most sports, too, but that did not hinder me at all in high school.
High school is very similar to real life. Believe it or not, popularity is still a deciding factor in the workplace. But that person had to be something or do something to get to that point.
To call the high school quarterback dumb and ignorant is ignorant itself. Stereotypes do not always rule the world as most people think. Brooding over failures in high school will get you nowhere Jen. Maybe you should be more personable and less stuck-up about your "impressive intelligence".
anonymous
· 1 year ago
I'm currently a highschool student and this essay was actually very accurate, you kind of wrote it in the point of view that some teens see it in.
Your essay is the first essay ive read thats been written by a person whos graduated highschool and college and manages to sound decent to a highschooler. Most essays ive read usually tries to belittle youth culture, or try to explain one thing but end up saying something completely bogus.
You forgot to mention though that there are ways that nerds can actually beat the system and still manage to be smart, be praised for it, and yet still manage to be one of the most popular kids. I know its seems kind of like a movie thing but it does happen. Usually these "super teens" don't usually share how they did it because they don't others to do what they did so the original popular kids wouldn't start thinking "hey too many nerds are becoming popular, we gotta stop this."
In my school, the gangsters and b-boys are at the top of the popularity game. Well growing up i was a nerd, from grade 1-9. But then i started hanging out with an old friend of mine who happened to be transfering to my school and yes he was a gangster. Once everyone saw me with him they were like : "Yo man you chill with that guy? say word, didnt know you got deadly connections like that" and i was instantly popular yet still managed to pull a 94 average in gr10. There are other ways that nerds can do a popular leap but in our culture, you're not supposed to tell adults anymore than they need to know and you don't tell them anything that they can use to ruin your society.
Lex
· 1 year ago
I'm really blown away by how much several of your essays mirror my own feelings/thoughts. This is a great essay. Have you ever read anything by John Holt?
Samantha
· 1 year ago
Thank you for your essay. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was amusing, intelligent and a bit tongue-in-cheek at times. Although I can draw many parallels from my own experiences and observations and your own, I do not agree on everything you have said; though I do appreciate you sharing your views. I really liked the extended metaphor of the prison you continuously use throughout your essay. Nicely put there.
Aran
· 1 year ago
I am from the UK and although the situations you described were in America. I could in fact draw many parellels. Maybe UK and the US are more similar than previously thought. Very good essay!
X
· 1 year ago
I'm from Australia and finished year 12 last year, at my school the smart kids and the sporty kids interacted without any problems, it was infact the dumber kids that took any real critisism.
flora
· 1 year ago
Thats kinda way i think it should go,i think everyone should be popular. I think that instead of sitting at the unpopular and popular tables,people should sit together for there hobbies.
Shai
· 1 year ago
This was a very insightful essay. One that I had considerable enjoyment reading.
I can definitely relate to the author and the trials faced in high school. I think I faced even more scrutiny than normal as I was a dancer and chorister as well as an academic who just happened to be good at sports. I was a bit of an enigma and lot of Aussie males didn't know how to take me.
I totally agree that hormones have become the new excuse for inexcusable behaviour. Still, the education of morals and values must fall on the parents. The schooling system is to teach us many things, but if we can't learn the fundamentals of life and relationships from our parents, then schools have very little to work with.
Thank you once again for a very good read.
Jordan
· 1 year ago
So true. This pretty much describes my life since grade 7.
Kelsey
· 1 year ago
is this macat jordan??
Alex Lang
· 1 year ago
it probably is aagh i love macat
Kelsey
· 1 year ago
I really like this essay. I didn't really read the middle, but the beginning was realy interesting. I think it's cool that some kids actually made a populatarity chart. Future science project?
P.S. If anyone else from MACAT posts a comment, put MACAT Rules! (cause it does and you know it!)
EdD
· 1 year ago
Interesting. I used to be a nerd myself until I decided to take a stand for myself, went to the gym, learned judo and beat the crap out of my tormentors. Forget psychology, think nature and social order. What most people fail to realize is that we humans are by nature hierarchical creatures. And this behaviour is most noticeable in kids who are more atoned to their natural instincts than to reason. What we see in them, is what nature would have us be had we not developed reason (or what we might have been). Challenge the social order, and you will change your status in the hierarchy, but do so using your nerd skills, be smart, plan and execute, you don't need to go postal on anyone, just show them that the game stops here and it stops now.
Marcus
· 1 year ago
EdD-- You are right on the money.
welf
· 1 year ago
Here is the Russian translation of this excellent article
sheleah
· 1 year ago
I see exactly where everyone is coming from, im an idiot and im insainly popular.
Santh
· 1 year ago
Wow, what a brilliant essay!
Solomoriah
· 1 year ago
I dispute part of this essay... I suffer from Asperger's Syndrome, as do (I suspect) a great number of "nerds." Being popular (in the way described) is simply not possible for someone with an autistic spectrum disorder such as Asperger's.
Having said that, I did read the entire essay, and I do agree wholeheartedly with the conclusions about the sort of society modern Western secondary schools create within them. I worry about my daughter, who is a bit like me, but at present (at age 9) she is popular and respected by her peers. If only that situation survives...
John Emmery
· 1 year ago
Thank you
You've just solved something that I have been pondering for the last couple of years. I'm british and well ,a nerd but was actually pretty well liked at my secondary school, but I just couldn't figure out why people like me were so hated in american schools. If its OK I'd like to suggest this to some friends of mine, they may enjoy reading this and pass it on
jake
· 1 year ago
Most everything here, in my opinion, is true. There hasn't been anything i learned in school for a long time that i'm actually going to NEED in life. I'm sort of a nerd. I have friends, not many, but kids aren't like making fun of us. I go to a public American school. It's not like they make fun of us, beat us up, push us around. It's not that bad. But ya, sometimes we get made fun of. I'm actually trying to get an apprenticeship at a local airport. But the thing is, they say "it's a liability issue". I' willing to sign my life away. They just dont want me to help them. But at least I have a gf. And i'm doing a sport, that i'm good at, and i know what i want to do as i get older.
Alex Lang
· 1 year ago
i'm in a advanced program along with all of my friends and its sad that withing this group of nerds there is a hiearchy in itself i sent this to a bunch of my friends in the inner inner circle. with this essay i realized half the people in this "advanced group" arn't that advanced and would be up there bullying us anyways. and though my speling (get it) sucks and this came up on a search for how to make a essay longer this is important. jease when i become a supreme coart justice and destroy the electoral college system i'm also going to have to fix this remember my name for it will be important some day
Alex Lang
· 1 year ago
MACAT rules by the way (thats our advanced program)
Jenna
· 1 year ago
What, your going to be in the leagues of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs?
Jenna
· 1 year ago
I am so sending this to all of my teachers
Colin
· 1 year ago
good job on working on your essay. i can see the effort put in into thinking about and fine-tuning your work. yes, im also a nerd.
All Comments
I look at these American films where everyone is obsessed with prom and I think to myself.. the media and film industry is brainwashing these children. If they weren't constantly showed these materials they probably wouldn't have this obsession.
My advice - move to Europe.
having been a nerd for all my school time I've seen everything you described here but I could never explain the why. Meanwhile I've learned a lot about social psychology and educational science but I've never managed to meet someone who could rationalize to me the phenomenon of nerds in such a complete way you did in this essay. Thank you so much! I really adore you for it. Please allow me to quote extracts from it on any ocasion!
Lots of Love, Miriam from Germany
P.S. Be reassured that nerds are not only an american phenomenon. They exist in Europe too.
smarter they 1st wanna kill you(if the right given) 2nd they wanna get read of you 3rdif they cant do the above mentioned and you continue to read they're thoughts they evade you or talk shit behind your back
don't want to be your friend for sure.
Success of any organizational structure relies on three pillars: 1) adequate resources; 2) strong, responsible leadership; 3) worthwhile goals.
In the absence of these three pillars, things start to degenerate quickly.
The only thing to do is be bored, and wait it out. Another 3 years, it will drive me crazy. Anyway thats my inside opinion.
On a more positive note you would think succesfull adults (who were once nerds)would atempt to change the system. I live in England and all i ever hear from them is "Try your best, don't do drugs... E.T.C". None of it means anything.
From an economic point of view it would be a great advantage to ensure that supernerds get the best and quickest education possible, then throw them into the real world to exel at what they do. As for the dumber ones they would get almost no education and spend the rest of their lives doing the manual jobs that are currently reserved for teenagers. They could form a perfect society where everyone has his/her place.
Now, concerning education. Popularity ranks pretty low with the ability to make a positive impact in the lives of others. Granted there is the ability to get people's attention, exercise compassion, and provide some positive contribution. However, the more intelligence you and I can acquire, the greater impact we can have in the lives of others. A doctor can treat cancer. A lawyer can help people who have been wronged or injured. A scientist can create antibiotics. Popularity at the highest levels cannot do any of those things. People who make a positive difference will never be lonely, in my opinion. In my opinion, there are those who have passed on and still want to make a positive difference in our lives and are willing to be our silent, invisible, tutors in our education and career in making a positive impact in the lives of others. Close your eyes when you get frustrated with school and work and see if the words "Do it for others" don't come to mind and inspire you to sit back down and resume your work at a new level and possibly with a clear understanding of what you just struggled with moments ago. THAT is an incredible experience. That is one that will never be unfaithful, dramatic, etc. It is one that will always be positive. One from an intelligence that has a much larger picture of life and the world we live in and can best lead you to whatever positive desires you have, even if it is popularity. The only question you might be presented with is "What will you do with it? Will you use it for to make a positive impact?"
is going to be a freshman in high school pretty soon. All I really want is a
guy best friend that I can relate with, someone real...not some sports-
oriented group that just cares about girls, getting laid, or ostracizing nerds
who aren't like them. How do I get that?
The reason is, I think there's this person that has the potential to be a great
friend of mine. But he has his own basketball/baseball crew, and I keep
reminding myself I am not like him. Yet, I want to be around him. If you knew
how much I wanted to be like a teenager right now, you would get it.
How the hell do I beat the system? That's what I want to know. What is the
single thing that will get you a bulls-eye, true relationship?
But let’s say he isn’t interested in you, even if you take an interest in his basketball. I want you to then remember ice cream. Hehe. What I mean is I like ice cream with a bit of vanilla, chocolate swirl, chocolate covered peanuts, and peanut butter. I know guys who prefer Rocky Road, Mint Chocolate Chip, Oreo, Pralines n’ Cream, etc. Baskin and Robbins alone has 31 flavors! Now, have you ever ordered your favorite ice cream and looked at a friend’s and said “Hmm, that looks good, can I try it?” You then try it say “Wow! That is good. I wish I had gotten that one :(.”
Here is the first point. Every guy out there (and girl, for the guys) is like an ice cream flavor. You see what’s in the case, but until you have experienced as many flavors as possible, you have no idea which is your favorite! All you can do is guess and make assumptions. So, my first recommendation is to not set your heart on a single guy until you have dated numerous types of guys.
Second point, you are a flavor too and guys have no idea what they want either. They can look in the case and make a best guess, but until they have tried numerous flavors they have no idea which is their favorite. For guys, we have an additional complication. Our biological clock says “It’s time to reproduce, even if accidentally.” That really messes up our thinking skills, but the level of intensity varies from guy to guy.
Realize too that if you have to act or dress in a different manner to get a guy, it is not worth it. To get a “real” relationship and/or friendship, you have to be you 100% from the very beginning. How long will that take? It wasn't until I was 23 and wow did I have an incredible marriage! Every other girlfriend before that, from age 12, was just a source of good times, followed by anxiety , followed by heartache, since I always wanted to go steady and not have open dating relationships. The lack of open dating was also the cause of my divorce. I had no idea what other flavors were out there and wondered if I had made the best choice. Now, 10 years later, I am saddened that to this day, I have yet to find another woman of her caliber who loves me in return like she did. I hope this all helps.
people (actually a lot), but now I feel that there's more out there
for me. In regards to ice cream, you are right! Why should I
stick around for vanilla and strawberry when New York Super
Fudge Chunk could be around the corner? Lol.
I also think that--when I get old enough, I haven't started dating
yet--I'll have open dating. I should experience it all, not set
my sight on one prospective person.
Thanks a lot, again.
I am from Australia and currently in Year 10, and in my school it seems that the most popular people are infact smart people. Maybe they use their intelligence to realise what it takes to become popular, or maybe they are just multi talented and naturally popular (yes, naturally popular, it is possible).
Thanks for the great essay.
-This essay was great. I'd love to read more of your work!!
A good google search, to be sure.
-Qes
Jonathan Yedidia
http://nerdwisdom.com (as you can see, I'm proud to be a nerd!)
wait! I got something.....um..........STOP RAMBLING ON!
that felt good..................
Much more to say on the matter so keep your eyes peeled.
If I had my time at school again, I'd be a nerd again. Teenage girls are immensely boring.
And "will have lots of free time to read and write" ?? You act as if reading is something to kill time with, instead of something with which to increase the scope of your world. If you were a nerd, you couldn't have been a very smart one.
It is tribalism but intelligence is not the defining variable. I have know very smart populars and some very dumb nerds. The arrogance of the nerd tribe to assume that it's about smarts is one of the reasons why they get disdain even in the adult world, just behind their backs after they trouble shoot the office mainframe instead of to their face. It comforts them by thinking it's envy of their brains and that illusion gets them through the day. Nerds just have very specific attributes that give them high reward for low effort in specialized fields. They do not have many social skills because they do not require them. The survival fire is not under their buts enough to motivate them into the effort of it. Technology has created a niche they can be very comfortably successful in.
School is a primitive emulation of the adult social politics. It gets more subtle and refined as we get older but it never goes away. Every one chooses whether they realize it or not that they take the path of most reward for least effort optimizing their talents and skills. They go where the results are. In the wheat from chaff process over the long term many nerds get left by the wayside as much as dumb jocks, empty beauties and shallow populars do.
And it is a given that the nerd tribe breaks down into sub groups with their own status ranks.
School is a 'limited" emulation of adult social politics. In this Paul is exactly right. In the real world the A through D tables are so large you can choose to almost exclusively associate with the type of people you prefered in school. When you feel uncomfortable as an adult it is because you have been forced to deal with people you did not like in school.
I feel really bad for you actually.
Im a sophmore in high school.
And i make fun of all the nerds at our school all the time.
But i don't care because im not one of them.
It's fun, because being the so called "nerd" and being small, also makes me immune to almost all punishment. "He started it, I defended myself, why would i try to fight someone twice my size?" and I'm off. Small people have more fighting experiences then you could ever image, not to mention the speed to back it up, and maybe not pure muscle compared to you, but in comparison to body size, they most likely have more then you.
p.s. I think it's pretty funny reading all these high school kid's comments like, "I'm popular AND smart in my high school so your essay is wrong and I don't agree with it." It's not really about your or his experience through school, there's much much more to it than that.
You could be smart and attractive/popular, however, that is one of the hardest roles to play and manage in highschool, because you want to maintain a balance without messing up anything on either side, unfortunately, at this point, popularity is more important for most people, although smart people won't be shunned, nerds/socially awkward people will be out of the circle.
One thing I think is the hardest for smart people is that they realize the system. They see through it when other people can't, they know thing other people can't relate to and that makes it all the more depressing when you realize you're among the few who's in the know about how pointless school is at times but you can't beat the system. Especially the social pressure which before you and everyone else was numb to but then you see how pointless and consuming it is and yet no one ever questions it.
It's just a big, fake circle with no sense of reality, and I feel I'm just walking in an infinite loop until I graduate, the good thing is seeing kids who you know if they stick it out for a few more years, the roles will be dramatically reversed.
They always tell us that the real world is alot more harsher, scarier and worse than school. I don't think so.
I am facing many problems,because of my Asian descent and the distinctive way of dressing and walking.
Thanks for the information. Knowing this from somebody who's been through that to the real world, I can walk through the school social scenes with confidence that it won't affect me in the real world, although I've always known that, sort of consciously.
You keep saying that such barbaric situations are "back then" - but it's still like that, and I doubt it'll change any time soon.
Just as a ray of hope, there are private schools that are not as empty, and provide structure and growth for the students enrolled there. If we could simply model public schools on successful private schools, we would be well on the way to remedying the situation you have so ably described.
Overall I wreckon u can be smart n kool and that its reaally easy.hOPE PEOPLE CAN REPLY TO DIS!
@ mi skool im sorta in da middle but there r still major populartity issues
I'm not sure how I feel about the dismissive tone about popular stuff being "dumb"-- while it wasn't academic in nature, surely, my "quest for popularity" was anything but stupid, I think. I started out as a nerd (but my school was in Canada, which I am learning makes it weird-- there was a provincial instead of local hierarchy, most schools had a 'magnet'-- mine was gifted kids and an auto shop, while down the road was high-performance athletes, and another had art/drama, and another was for kids who struggled with school... you get the idea. They all still had the regular, 'local' kids, but then a huge displaced chunk of kids coming from across the city for one specific thing. But I digress) and worked my way up. I mostly did this by getting really nerdy about 'cool' things-- music, comedy, things like that. I still played plenty of video games, but I was listening to an amazing band that nobody at school would hear of for months. People would occasionally attempt to ostracize me or tease me, but I'd become confident enough that I was able to brush them off like I meant it (having a good zinger comes in very handy for this). Hell, I got a pair of stylish glasses in my junior year and some clothes that didn't look like they were from a department store (in retrospect, they probably WERE from a department store) and ended up dating one of the most sought-after girls at school! Then again, I was lucky in that nerdiness was kind of 'cool' in the early 2000s. I just exploited that fact really, really well.
That kind of leads me into my next point, which is that nerdiness is becoming chic. Yeah, we've heard it a million times, for sure. But I remember my last year of high school as virtually run by former nerds-- there was my friend M, who was the only kid our grade wearing punk shirts to school in grade 9 and was made fun of for his weight throughout, who became incredibly charming and school president in his last year. There was me, who talked about final fantasy and wore sweatpants, but at some point got a clue and turned into the hilarious guy everyone wanted to hang out with on breaks. My friend G was, well, one of my best friends, and he grew about 6 inches one summer and stopped talking funny and started looking pretty good, so he was a shoe-in.
I forget where I was going with this. Oh yeah... my point: there were kids who were nerds and freaks at the beginning of school who became the 'cool' kids by the end of school. It wasn't because they sold out and picked on other people; it was because they realized that the two important aspects of popularity are mass appeal and confidence. Once you realize the first, you recognize that virtually everyone has the potential to have mass appeal-- if you're not sporty, you can be charming, or funny, or badass, or whatever else you can think of. And once you realize what you can exploit, the confidence follows. And if that kind of reasoning isn't nerdy enough for you, I'm not sure I know what nerd even means any more.
Bullying still exists however, its not as bad as people who come from the preceding generation say it is. I'm a Senior this year, and from what I've seen nearly all of my fellow nerds have also seen little to none teasing or bullying. What seems to stay consistent is the very top of the spectrum. Kids who are rich, on the football team, or simply "hot" (as girls put it) continue to rule the school. Nerds, in their eyes, are simply losers.
But also what you wrote confirmed our decision (our kids' decision, mostly) for our home education program. Our kids learn what will promote a good merge into adult culture. My oldest loves to write, so she writes. My oldest boy loves to create and plan and draw, so he creates and plans and draws. Yes, they have the typical academic courses, but as they teach themselves, they motivate themselves. I'm there to faciliate and guide their learning.
They also have the opportunity to join in a more adult world as they volunteer their time in possible work scenarios that may end up being their life's work. My sophomore daughter teaches other homeschooled kids, and she loves it; she may have found her future in education. She also volunteers for our town's newspaper, so journalism may be in her future also. Because of home education, she has the time to pursue her own interests as well as complete solid academic work including the study of Latin, her own choice.
When I taught at the university level, I could see some of the "nerds" coming out of their shells as they accessed a more adult world. Yes, the "popular" people still existed, but there were enough nerds around for them to join together and find their niche in university life. I hope that this phenomenon starts to unravel during the more independent college years, if not during the junior high and high school years themselves. It's just so sad to know that many children suffer needlessly this way. The damage must be immense.
This statement above made me upset, yes they do set out to do it on purpose, I was not the most smartest in school, but I certainly didnt have to work hard to get good grades, my problem was people thought I was weird. I hope one day I can find an article like yours to explain and relieve some stress for being the weird kid. It helped me a little but not a lot, I didnt have the oh so sad life of being in a suburb, most of my life was in the inner city hoods of beautiful california, and the downtown mess. I didnt have a mom that liked to dress her pretty daughter nice, and she was cruel and sick minded, and then came the other adults, then the kids, like I dont remember the kids hurting me that much, because the adults ripped me apart before they ever could. It was mostly the adults in my life that wanted me to have the pain of the nerds you spoke of, and the kids just followed along. My mother hated me, so my brothers did, then my brothers made other kids hate me, and now I see how such behavior could start, you let me know how bullies really think, sadly my biggest bully was my mom.
Thank you for your article, and I'm glad I did a little more healing.
I just googled 'why' because I felt like I wanted to hear an answer to some random question I didn't ask.
This article came up, its awesome!
I'm from Australia, but I can definately relate.
I love how simple, clear and accurate this essay is.
this article is amazing and definetly sums up school life
I'm from ireland and the social system in my school seems very similar to your schools
(by the way I am in 2nd year or 14th grade i think)
Here in Brazil, at least in my school I didn't saw much of this bullying and outcasting, it's weaker here. Bullies are often recognized as plain evil, even to other children. But I think you are right: schools works as a prison, just because kids have no use. And I started reading this article believing this was the only way.
i can see how it got kids attention from around the world.
nice judgements.
I'm currently considering my status as a would be customer service representative and wondering if I'm actually a nerd.
I was a "freak" in high school, always wore black and sure, I had connections with the so called "dorks" in high school as well. I'm currently unemployed and have been for about a year and a half and I'm just about ready to re-enter the workforce so I've been searching for an identity that I can hold on too as I re-enter the "real world".
I'm 25 and living in the suburbs again with my parents and I can tell you, it'a a bit of a nightmare. This place is deserted. TAKE ME BACK TO THE CITY!
Ahhh well, If you're reading this you're probably wondering if I have a point to make.....well, I don't!
HAHA!
Have a nice day.
You constantly feel you have to keep up and image, and as soon as you laugh "too loud", or make a fool of yourself it's seen as scandal.
But I didn't know where else to go, all my friends were in the popular crowd.
Then we were mixed up for subjects such as maths and science, and in top set I met other people as none of the popular crowd was in top set. Of course there were nerds in our class, but there were also...(excuse the word) normal people, interesting people, who made real conversation, instead of meaningless gossip. I loved it, and made some amazing friends.
I suppose now me and my friends would be...about B or B- in the popularity scale.
I could never go back to the popular crowd, because I'm now an outcast from that group. But I'd never want to go back there.
Your article triggered a lot of memories for me :) Thanks for posting it.
Whoa, my comments almost as long as your article so I'll end it on this - When describing popular kids, all you can say is "They're popular". Popular with who? Their friends. Does make everyone popular? No of course not. So why are they described as popular? Because without their popularity they have nothing else.
I'm being very blunt here, but for years I have been observing the way people act, etc. I figured that I might as well share my knowlegde.
If you really think nerds are smarter and the popular cool kids are dumb then your wrong.
I used to be on the Basketball team and now I am on the Track And Field team in my high school and I am in honors.
Many "nerds" are in Honors, but in regular also.
Nerds aren't that smart, plus I rather be on a sports team with a 91+ average and have a nice social life rather than being a nerd. A nerd with a 93+ no athleticism, and almost no extra-curricular activities except for chess team.
Why aren't nerds popular? Cause they aren't that much smarter then the "cool kids", they talk to themselves a lot, start conversations with random people about random stuff... Example:
Me: Hi
Nerd: Oh hi, yeah so I can finally kick my brothers ass in Halo 3..."
Me: Um Okay cool bye.
Okay maybe I started that one but you get the point.
Also even geeks some of 'em have like 98+ AP classes averages and such AND DO SPORTS, they also have a good social life...
Nerds are more of the fat kids who snort when they laugh and such.
The difference is that there's a reason to fit in online. It comes naturally from practice, and online culture makes you smarter. not myspace of course, but in general finding articles like this and arguing about them is useful. You can always leave the game, or be a passive observer. And the society is far from a closed bubble, of course.
So then, why are there people as abusive as Marco? why would those who fail at being acceptable online be in any position to bully? I think it's a habit. good luck picking on the nerds on the Internet, you'll drown in reasoned debate.
by the way kristina, you're as wrong as he is. jocks aren't all stupid, and honors takes dedication. You fit in online quite well, because of your experience and intelligence, and so you bully less intelligent people who are awkward online.
nerds bullying jocks...ain't the Internet great?
I get that "yeah... that sounds right..." feeling.
I guess I just want to say, being yourself and out there is extremelly important. Don't just limit yourself to one friend group, try out different things, don't be scared to fail and you'll make lots of new friends and be invited to many parties and feel loved and popular:-) thanks for reading.
pretty hard and harsh, mind. at football, i was always embarrased at being one of the last ones, but id look real dumb wandering around on the field.
part of it, i found out, is racism...
You write as if you knew me in school. At my 20th reunion, a woman, whom I didn't recognize, walked up to me and said, "I'm so sorry for what we did to you." I'll spare the details of those dark years, as you've outlined them in your essay; all I could add would be the particulars of my situation.
Based on my experiences, I have a lifelong hatred of bullies, utmost respect for folks like John McCain who were POWs, and a strong dislike of planning, utopianism, and ideology. I hope that the homeschooling movement helps to deschool society (to borrow Ivan Illych's phrase), and that the utter failure of our schools, in an era of shrinking budgets, will lead to their collapse, a la the Velvet Revolution that swept away Communism in Eastern Europe. Thank you for the public service you've done by so eloquently identifying the root causes of the problem with American public secondary schools: purposelessness and boredom.
-Lloyd A. Conway
P.S. Parochial schools are different, I think. Where my wife teaches, they do have a mission, the kids learn, and they're a pretty happy lot.
but i'm a straight A student and i'm popular so i don't understand why other smart people can't be popular
Hhhmmm!!!!!!
Now I'm the mac and it has made the past all worth while.
This should be required reading at all high schools. Cant wait to read the rest of the book in between my hacking binges.
I would consider myself slightly 'arty,' and if I had to place myself in a social ranking I would be just above average. I'm odd though, in that I have close friends who are in the Rugby A team (a sure-fire ticket to social stardom) and nerds who spend lunch break looking up upcoming video games on the internet. This has its drawbacks, as in I am invited to parties where I feel very uncomfortable, or drawn into sports conversations I honestly couldn't care less about.
Partly because I am what I like to call a 'secret geek.' I am ashamed to say that I pick on those who are truly unpopular like everyone else, when in my heart I do the same things they do. I just don't tell anyone. I often wish I had someone to debate Buffy the Vampire slayer with, or to write with on a pbp rpg. But I shroud these things in so much secrecy, because they're existance would send me spiralling to the bottom of the social ladder.
Wow, this really mutated from 'i like this essay' to an introspective on my life. It feels good to type this, safe behind my iron curtain of secrecy. Anyway, I really like the article. It's very true.
- J, of Guildford
here is another nerd, who is just finishing school and doesnt know where to go, my aspiration is "the sky is the limit", no wonder why I dont like those people who say "you can become a doctor" for I dont want to become a doctor, there are doctors !!
I may like to talk to anyone of you here ( because anyone has read this page and is reading the comments must be a little geek) so you can find me in Yahoo Answers "hidden" under the nickname of WISE_monkey .
I would really like to chat with you, by the way I am a born christian-arab (dont activate your hearsay system) , but I dont care for all those racism, because i know that we all humans share one thing, for we are VERSION 2 OF MONKEYS.
peace on all
Fortunately, I am one of the few who have a bit of use in society. I got some prints of my artwork into a local art store recently and hope to add more soon! :) (my website shows them)
I was beginning to question the whole system when I found your site! Thank you so much for the advice!
If you are anything like me you will try to analyze what I said to find out which category I am in. well I’m going to ruin you fun and tell you. I’m not in the popular crowd, but Im definitely not a nerd. Luckily I popped out a female and as we all know, the anatomy of a female (no matter what she looks like…ok maybe with a few exceptions) gets a heads up on the scale of any nerd. Aka, a nerdy boy usually looks worse than a nerdy girl. I’m getting off topic… my point being I am not a nerd. Neither did I get good grades. I’m terrible at spelling and grammar and its embarrassing how horrible I am. I guess you could say I’m … a little slow, at everything. I was a ugly little thing in middle school but by the time I reached high school popularity groups had already been established, restricting me to only jump up a few notches never allowing me to reach the most popular peak, (which I didn’t care much about as long as I wasn’t an outcast). I also didn’t care because what really mattered was what the boys thought of me, not the girls. A popular girl could trick herself into thinking I’m not competition because of my social status conducted from previous years before, but males at that age don’t thing with that part of their … brain? I guess you could say.
I’m only telling you all of this because I have no mental challenge at the moment, ( I dropped out of high school because my eating disorder was taking over my life and I’m getting my GED, but I haven’t had a good assignment in much too long) and I was looking for some mental stimulation. So thanks for writing your thesis, so I could critique it.
p.s. I'm still a nerd at heart. I'm in one of the best engineering programs in [my] country.
Once you get into the 7th grade the system becomes so screwed up that you stop learning entirely. Like in math, you waste your time with review of everything you ever learned about math half of the semester, and when they finally start teaching something new the repeat it so much that you don't make any progress. My guess as to why this happens is that they are trying to include people who "learn by repetition" instead of working with each student individually.
As well as that the nerds who get bad grades realize that the adults are trying to prevent this I've seen posters put up in classrooms that say things like "Question: When will I ever use this? Answer: You can never use what you've never learned." These are put up to counter the few sparks of brilliance the even the most dim witted people have, even if it doesn't answer the question. In fact it seems to me that it proves nothing. We know we cannot use it if we don't know how to, but if there is no where you are going to use it, than why bother learning it, but if you mention this obvious fact you're told you have an additude, or ironically that you are being smart.
Second: Whssaaaooo, a very interesting piece.
Looking forward to your Hard Cover!
I would like to mention that as you have it stated, "Nerd" is not interchangeable with smart, and as a result you leave out the fact that there can be many intelligent people who still are completely social. This results in a massive hole in the thesis. Nerds, people who are smart and not socially adept, are unpopular. Wouldn't you also agree that people who are not socially adept are unpopular as well (That is to say the theoretical loner who has no friends. Even if people secretly think he's cool, as some girls think nerds are cool, he still has very little social contact, and is generally unpopular, because popularity must be recognized to be measured.) Thus what you really should be saying is socially inadept people are inadept socially! Popularity is a direct measure of your social ability around a group of people, and thus in a group of people (kids) who you are not adept socially, you are unpopular. It is very rarely, and you might say never, the case that a socially inadept person is popular among kids. In a group of outsiders who admire the "really outsider" kid, he is not socially in adept, but idolized and popular, and thus adept within that group.
Thus we are left with the other side of the coin. What if what you really are trying to say is that intelligent people are intrinsically unpopular.This is closer to the truth within schools, but demands that unpopular be defined for all subsets of kids. By your definition "nerds" already don't have the social ability, but the lack of social ability sprouts from "intelligent people" ignoring it! I have known many intelligent people who have not become "socially inadept"(for we are talking only about social adeptness, as intelligence *itself* is not unpopular), and I have known plenty of people with below average intelligence who are socially inadept. At the same time, those on the fringes who are not popular among those circles can form their own "outsider" circles, but can be just as smart as those outside and just as popular as others within their own circles. Given a large enough population in any given circle, bullying between social circles would not exist.
You speak from the experience that the outsiders (D table) only had one table out of everyone. What if the outsiders had just as many tables as the A tables? What if they had more? The common idea of the "common" high school student would be thrown out the window if they were less common, however in everyones minds they remain the same( the sports team/cheerleading partiers). However when there are more D than A, doesn't existing in group D give you much more popularity without as much social restrictions, especially if you already have been associating yourself with that group? If you have declared yourself a nerd, and now you enter an environment with more nerds than sports players, you are on top (college matches this perfectly). Intelligence itself doesn't cause unpopularity or social awkwardness now, because you are in a group of like-minded people who all value intelligence. Secondary schools could be exactly the same given the right mix of students, however there will necessarily be less like minded intelligent people because not all people go to college, and thus the ratios will be different. In today's high schools, intelligence has become a more popular thing to have that previously. It is not as important a factor yet as "fitting in", but given the right set of conditions, children will find the next big trend and just like your example of John Nash picking up new habits of the people he admired, they will latch onto the trend and run with it.
To sum up: Intelligence is not a factor in popularity, but associations and populations of like-minded people is. If there is enough people with the same ideals as you, you will have both popularity and social acceptance, whether this group values intelligence or field goals, or whatever. The current status of the schools can change, but the change can be seen in the students without new school systems given time and the right societal changes to redefine what is popular.
"Popularity" has many faces.
A blabbering extrovert does not equal popularity in some circles.
Though schools certainly vary.
In my school, there is no one society of teenagers. There is the main collection of students, divided into blacks and whites and grays. There is the main group of athletic kids, and then the other groups. The smaller groups lead happier junior high careers, are smarter (though not necessarily academicaly), and quieter. They are also close-knit among each other, and there are certain social classes that neither harm nor benefit. They look at the main group, with its intricacies and its drama, and laugh. I am one of the outsider group.
It's interesting to see how else a junior high system can be organized, but it seems that it all boils down to the same bubble and the same need for organization--however savage.
Though, the intricacies of junior high life are more likely than not infinite. There is a certain rulebook built into people's minds absolutely FILLED with exceptions and clauses. Popularity is not a black and white thing, and the society in a school is not singular. A school is a large enough environment to achieve numerous societies with their own social castes. The way you have written about it simplifies it: "popular" is defined by being liked within the largest society in the school. In reality, it is different. There are cliques which range from large to small, either having or not having social classes. Smaller cliques form larger societies of closest-knit cliques, in which existing social castes blend and conflict with each other.... As I said, the rulebook has infinite clauses. I say this coming fresh from this system on a Friday night after school.
So, you certainly might have included more about that in your essay. Though all in all, there's definitely a lot of good in it. Good job, and thank you for giving me something to think about.
My high school experience was a little different and doesn't fit the mold. It was an all girls Catholic High School. It was entrance by exam, college prep, and very competitive. When girls don't have to worry about being unattractive to boys, its a funny thing. They get smarter. And lacking achieving male attention as a common pursuit, they compete at being smart against each other.
While the smartest girls were NOT the most popular--which holds with your distracted theory, I found--they were not persecuted or unpopular by any stretch but greatly admired. By Junior and Senior year there was very little antagonism between the popular and unpopular girls.
I was by all rights a nerd but I ventured into the freak category in as much as I flaunted not studying--but this was to differentiate myself from the Grinds. I was NATURALLY smart, you see. This was my way of setting myself a part--advertising emotional angst and complete intellectual boredom. This eventually succeeded in getting me begrudging admiration across cliques--or at least it seemed that way to me. And while it prevented me from developing a good work ethic, it set me apart.
To show you how unusual the all girls competitive environment is: the most anticipated day of the year was rank day. Each quarter there was a clamoring as the class rank was posted. The top 5 (which occasionally but not usually included me) were quiet, sweet girls who worked hard (I was the exception, there--Lazy But Smart). They were universally well liked, for no other reason than they were NICE and eager to please but not sycophants. And the Top 10 was not without at least 3 or 4 of the most popular girls in school.
The real social qualifier, in most cases ESSENTIAL for popularity: MONEY. And you could tell who had the money even in uniform: by the earrings they wore and their shoes alone.
An unusual but interesting and, for a female, invaluable high school experience. If I could send my daughter to an all girls educational environment I would in a heartbeat. It never occurred to me in high school that being smart was a liability.
That didn't happen until I discovered boys and the rest of the world in college. Talk about a rude awakening.
P.S.
The guy below me (DO not wake the Dreamer) is very ignorant not because he said it is "stupid" but to have such a small statement not even to back it up (probobly Cause he didnt read it all) and negative comments for what? does it make him feel better cause he pts a "stupid" smile at the end of his sentence? I hate "Stupid" People
How can you put a value on that? It's hard to prove, but we see it all the time with our children so we have come to believe. John Holt would be happy to see this online.
it's like i'm the one who's writing it... you can really see what's going on...
SO GREAT!!
You just cant begin to explain em.
You cant just classify reasons why people are unpopular. Their are many.
The closest I could probably explain it imo is: Basically it just boils down to people being twats to a certaing degree, and people trying to not be seen as shit or whatever by the twats. And then them who are just noticed as people the twats dont like who find it hard to socially inteeract with others.
But ye even that isnt right. Theres just too many reasons :P
But when I was in puplic school (last year) my class was mostly popular kids so every time a nerd, geek or ''retard'' came their parents would ''mysteriosly'' pull them out of school!! We didnt realy have seprate tables, but most people would move if someone they didnt like came!!!
Im bug scrole down!
It's just so funny to see how so much of your article applied to my life. Though I was a nerd during my adolescent years, I turned out graduating college with honors and getting a great job, and leaving the white trash bullies of past years in my dust.
Funny how some of the people who disagree with this article happened to be the popular ones in school. They seem to feel threatened that the nerds 'play a game much closer to the one played in the real world.' Too bad for them. They're also not the ones that are at the bottom looking up in this hierarchy.
here's the question..... In Egypt there was a god that would judge people when they die. this god's name is..
a. Anubis
b. Osiris
c. Isis
d. Amun- Re
if u get this right i will give u an award and if u want i will talk about u to my class so that way 22 people u dont know will know who u are
If I wasn't shy, I wouldn't be this smart. But w/e, live and let live.
(anubis? hard one!)
Nerds are awesome!!
"So if intelligence in itself is not a factor in popularity, why are smart kids so consistently unpopular? The answer, I think, is that they don't really want to be popular."
I realized I was lucky enough to learn this in 7th grade. Really being avrage just means they don't put in effort. I learned that because you want to achive more all you have to do is show that you put in the effert. ( Please bear my spelling it's math and science for me).
Being famous is an adult's version of being "popular at school" and look how they are treated by everyone else. No different than the relationships between nerds and popular kids - And most of them are simply famous because they're either good looking or good atheletes - just like school.
As for why smart kids are nerds.
The popular kids are:
a) the best looking
b) the best fighters and
c) the best atheletes.
Everyone else in their group are gimps, the reason why nerds stay away is because they're smart enough to realise this.
a. Semnut
b. Istnofret
c. Nafari
d. Merneptah
if u get it right u get a prize. and also if u want ill tell my whole class about u!!!!!! ill give u a hint about his son. his son was 50 years old when he became pharaoh and also u might want to check out the book " The Place in the Sun" that's where u might find the answer ;)
theres a diffrence between knowing its this_string.equal(other_string) because of what the book literally said vs knowing the appropriate use between that and this_string == that_string based on understanding of pointers (Mr. grahm, please forgive the use of java in this example, it was the first thing to pop in my head)
IE: quoting random trivia is not and will never be an accurate measure of intelligence
some popular kids at my school are in honors math (the highest)
and some nerds at my school arn't smart
i think that personality is what determines your popularity
anyway, thats just what i think =]
Americans are just across an ocean from the UK. Are you truly that different? Can you not excel academically and in sports? Can the school student not be happy independent of their academic record?
Tell me that you went to a bad, a-typical school. With your essay, and certain teen films we see over here, it paints a cruel and selfish portrait of American school life.
- Paddy.
This essay makes a lot of sense to me. One thing you said was very interesting to me:
"There was something else I wanted more: to be smart. Not simply to do well in school, though that counted for something, but to design beautiful rockets, or to write well, or to understand how to program computers. In general, to make great things."
I couldn't agree more. This explains a lot. for example, I'm a grade-A nerd (quite literally) but I don't try hard on boring assignments. I can admit I' m a slacker, for several reasons. First, I don't _need_ to try hard. I get good grades anyway. but also, I'd rather work out a tricky computer program or make yet another useless geometric picture-cipher than spend extra time reviewing for a test I know I'll do well on. nerds don't have time to be popular because they're thinking about things on a more abstract level (or maybe that's just me).
I'm a nerd, but I don't care much about grades. It makes sense, really. in the article you talked about the meaninglessness of grades and tests. I'm smart enough to realize playing the game of perfect grades is a useless as popularity (well, almost). I just have more intellectually stimulating things to do than worry about my clothes. or obsess over essays.
after this rant, though, I need to add that I do try hard on interesting assignments. I'm a perfectionist if I want to write a good essay for its own sake, if not for the grades. And a good report card is the ticket I need to slack off. Pass a certain point, and you can spend class time doodling on graph paper.
If Your Not Confident Enough
Pretty Enough
Fake Enough
Then Your Not Accepted
And If You Try Hard To Get Notcied You Get Called a Suck Up
Theres No Way Of Winning Its Quite Depressing ...Thats Why I Can't Wait to Leave School Not Because Of The Work Because Of The People
i grew up killing your friends and my parents were the same !
us cool people hate you you scum bag !
eat dirt!
i rape you in the showers while you scream my name
'again captain scott'
i love ur buttocks
grrrrrrr u nerd
If you are cool then I hope I am not, I would hate to be the link to our Neanderthal past that you are demonstrating so clearly. You are the reason this world is in caos, you are the reason there are so many wars, you very exsistence is proof of devolution and lastly you are so stupid you probably have no idea what I just wrote. :) Have fun.
In about year 8 I was friends with some of the 'popular' crowd but I didnt like them very much because they were always bitching about each other so much. That's why i tend to habg around with the 'freaks/nerds' I find them more friendly. True I dont hang around with the very odd people, but I wish I had time to talk to them more, because I am sure they are actually very nice people.
I am a High School Nerd just like the ones you talked about here, and what you have said is extremely relevant, and is also an inspiration for when I get the middle finger in class for knowing what pi is.
Just 3 more years ;)
Great essay dude... Drop me a line sometime: ferret949@yahoo.com
Thankyou
RHCP rules!
I, for the record, would like to reaffirm one point: I don't have perfect grades... nor to I really even care about the grade beyond getting accepted in to collage. My passion is Math and my hobby is writing randomly. I neither need nor care about the grade because my life doesn’t revolve around them. Grades are only as good as the person behind them.
-Vorlondel-
1st observation - To become popular often you first need to believe yourself to be above others, if you do not believe this yourself then how will others? An automatic response to this is to believe you have the right to pick on those you feel are below you. Once you do this you notice it gains you popularity and often will continue to, until your popularity is based on your ability to belittle others. However a smart person learns quicker, everyone gets trod on by someone, and a smart person very quickly learns empathy, the ability to place themselves in someone else shoes. I know myself I could never belittle anyone else for a simple reason - it could be me, and so my popularity never grew via this method.
2nd Observation - It is human genetics and most animal genetics that automatically make the strongest and most confident man or even woman the alpha man/woman and not brains, and it is true alot of people have one or the other and not both. Why? why dont clever people wish to make themselves footballers, and compete? Well often they dont see the point, it is hard physical work, why would you need that if you have brains. Actually you are looking the wrong way, often people become clever because instead of going to kick a ball around, they stayed in reading, or even watching tv (yes tv can teach you somethings) again drawing from my experience, I liked to play football, but I liked to read just as much, there is another reason I prefered to stay in (see obs. 3).
Observation 3 - Smart people often lack good social skills as children, they see things differently and do not like to talk about meaningless things such as going to school, they wish to talk about possiblities and things that often the less smart have no idea about, and this will always be one of the biggest dampers to conversation, People hate what they dont understand and so the less smart will try and shut up the smart, again this is automatically seen by others as a show of power, and so one loses rep for not standing up while the other gains for pushing down. They also lack the social skills for other reasons in ome cases, for exam they consider other people more (see obs1) and so do not wish to push in and so the conversation will go on without them saying anything (not good), when they do say something it will be misinterpereted because they know what they mean,but telling it to someone of less intelligence is not so easy (like trying to open an excel 2007 with excel 95)
4th observation - I actually have met some very intelligent popular people, who for the very simple reason that smart is seen as bad do not wish to be seen as smart incase they are disrespected.
Alot of these reasons work back and forth between each other, however it is good to know that those that have problems normally get passed them as the get older, though to say that the hierachy is not there in adults would be wrong, atleast the way people see each other can stay the same for life, I know grandparents that still despise the smart/popular/sexy/ugly for no reason other than it is what they learned to do in school.
These are my thoughts, maybe I am wrong, and I agree with most of what I read of yours.
I know there are some meat heads out there who will reply to this saying something highly intelligent such as "That was the biggest load of turd ever." to those that do - if you aint got something nice to say - "SHUT THE HELL UP"
PS it helps if you do gain some muscle to defend yourself ;)
What you guys want is people to like you yes? So be yourself. For the benefit of the younger me, that kid who is getting bullied for being different, be yourself, do not allow other people to push you around.
Talk with people dont block them out, do not be shy, if you are shy people will see it as weakness and will prey on it and you will just become more shy.
I may sound like a blathering idiot, and sometimes it is hard to communicate exactly what I mean. However I have been from the lowest of the low to the highest of the high. I am not stupid, I have an IQ last tested of 150, but none of it matters if you do not have friends, they are what support you, they are what make your life bearable, you can strive to be like those footballers and cheerleaders if you want, but you have to ask yourself, what do you really want, to be a stuck up arrogant morron or to have friends, because at the end of the day I will always go for having mates. "divided we fall, but together we stand tall". I will tell you a story about the difference having friends can make instead being the guy that makes everyone else life a misery.
"I was once in a club with my brother, fairly drunk, my brother is 2 years younger than me and a "popular" kid, I love him though, and will protect him no matter what. We were just standing talking to other people when another kid came over and started to punch my brother, again and again, with another big guy stopping people from getting near, at first I was shocked because I had no idea what was going on, I thought maybe he had done something, so I started to walk over and said to the guy "hey what are you doing, what has dan done" at this point no-one else was coming at all to protect dan (my brother) and the big guy just says "stay out of it", so I said "no he is my brother, tell me what he has done" at this point the big guy swings for me and I catch his hand, the guy that was hitting my brother stopped and swung for me 2 but I catch his hand aswell and hold on so they cant swing at me, at this point about 30 of my friends, swarm around us and push us apart, my brother walks outside and heads for home, while I am standing in the middle of a crowd of people all stopping these guys from getting anywhere near me, it is then that I realised who my friends were and that I would not give them up just to seem like the popular person. Those were all people who I had just accepted and talked to as people. It is even funnier that I later became mates of sorts with the big guy because he respected not only the fact that I was the only to stand up to him but that everyone else rushed to protect me but not my brother. "
There are many bullies who you may think you are above or better than, there are many snobs that you may think you are better than, footballers, cheerleaders, even bums, and tramps or your average joe. Let me put you straight, and if you are clever and of open mind you will understand this - "You are wrong". You are not better or worse than anyone around you, you are different everyone has been shaped by different lives, by different genes, but at the end of the day if you do not understand that, you are just as ignorant as a racist, nazi, or whatever, that may be hard to take, and I am not saying you should let people get away with what they want, you shouldn't I am saying that you should manage to understand that - in their shoes you WOULD do the same.
So next time you talk to a "cheerleader" or "footballer", talk to them not as a superior or inferior person, but as an equal.
Most important of all even more than being clever are friends and enjoying yourself, life, is for the living, live it, dont hide away and watch it go by. If you are lonely you can come on here and talk, I will talk back if I am around, but dont get sucked in to this, get out, make friends.
Please listen to me, I have seen too much misery in this world caused by one man wishing to be better than another, as soon as the world understands we can live as equals it will be a much better place to live.
I am not trying to preach here, if you are happy where you are at, I say to you stay there, but if you are one of those people who like me used to sit in the corner alone and sad, try and change it, dont keep sitting there, the problem propbably wont go away.
I have a good friend who is stuck in a rut that she has worked herself so deeply she does not want to do what is needed to get out, she has left it too long and ahs got used to being sad and alone, I watch her and I try and pull her out but at the end of the day she has to be the one to change her situation, I can provide a ladder but only she can climb it.
My message to anyone stuck in a situation alone is that you dont have to stay there, climb out, find your strength of will, the longer you leave it the worse it gets.
I dont know what more to say, there are people out there who want to get you, who are so selfish and narrow minded they cannot see beyond their own eyes, but be happy in knowing that you are not them. They will have problems all the rest of their lifes most likely, whereas you can step out and change your future. Also be happy to know that if you look properly there are probably alot more people willing to help you than you first believe. I am one but in every society there will be others there to help.
As a freshman in high school (and one of the smart girls who was saved from nerd-hood by good looks), I must say I agree. I went to an amazing elementary/middle school combo school, but once I got into high school... challenges disappeared. I've told a senior friend who agreed with me that the only reason I still go is so that I can get out of it, aka get into a great university so that I WILL be challenged.
As a guy who can't throw a football worth a damn and of average fitness level, I'm not high on the "popularity hierarchy", but I'ce also learned to not really give a damn, either in my senior year. Realizing this fact has made life a little easier.
Of course I'm also a bit older (20 as opposed to 17/18) due to not doing so well at school before (homeschool is much worse, let me tell you), and as a nerd, I'm not by far of the most unpopuar kids in school, mainly due to having built something up in creative writing class with my input (I've been doing it for quite awhile) and quirky humor. Of course it isn't the nerdiness that is getting me anywhere, but that I've learned some semblance of social skills in my time.
I think the biggest poblem for me growing up was never fitting to any of the "social norms" you find anywhere. I can get along with most groups now without really having to conform... Um, hard to explain what I mean, just that as time went on I've been with this or that group but always as an outsider. or something.
Damn.
I mean, good essay. Really hits home and gives me more hope for the future.
I'm a nerd too, and every day I get commented on who I am and the way I am.
But this essay made me realize some important things and completely changed
my view on society.
I thank you.
Before you can succeed in the external world, it's best to master your internal world. Zen meditation helps speed that process up by clearing up mind blocks.
It helps ease mind waves in a sense that it ask you to accept things are they are as they appear in the moment.
I recommend the Book "Zen Mind: Begginers Mind" to get started if you are interested.
but from what i hear i thing that what is written is 100% true
If your a true "smart" nerd reading these comments, remember one thing above all else.....what you do or not do in high school will matter when you graduate from high school...whether or not you go to college or not. Think of high school as a big fish tank with lots of other fishes......all of the fishes in the tank will eventually be released into the ocean, how popular, good looking, or athletic some fish may be in your tank will mean nothing once they are released in to the ocean......these good looking, popular, and athletic fishes will have an overwhelming amount of competition once released into the ocean with billions of other fish...their once "top-of-the pecking order status while in the tank may just now leave them feeling like a "Guppy"......it will be the smart fish that were in the tank who have the best chance of surviving in the ocean...brains matter folks. Stick to your chess clubs, your computer clubs, business classes, and stalk your school and local libraries.....it is the "Mr. & Ms. Bill Gate's'" of the world who will ultimately excel and be successful.....smart successful people in the "real world" are admired, needed, and in the end.....DO Get The Girl (or guy as-you-may).
I do know that I visited my Aunt in America when I was about twelve I think I met a grouping of 'popular kids', a group of older siblings of my cousins friends. It didn't go well, I said hi and they looked at me as if I was a repulsive insect before returning to their previous conversation. I didn't understand at the time why. I know now, that, while I regarded them ar rather rude, they viewed themselves as superior to me and thus beyond their notice.
I would agree with the point of bordom causing the various class divides and I feel that I was lucky with the ammount of great teachers I had. The only class that I was kinda bored with was history/geography and that was because I kept wanting to correct the teacher (due to the fact that I was really interested in both subjects and was reading beyond the levels he studied). After a while I just started bringing novels in, it was a laugh, he didn't notice until another student pointed it out.
I think that what you describe applies to nerds/geeks everywhere. At least, it applies to what I lived through at a good public high school in Spain, the country where I grew up, during the eighties.
I don't think the problem in the US is necessarily worse than in other countries. The advantage American nerds have over nerds elsewhere is that they can come to Silicon Valley or other geek clusters and live happy lives right after high school graduation or right after college (if they didn't get into one of the Bay Area's schools and wanted to get a bachelors degree before going to work). .
For me to come to the Bay Area, I had to work very hard through college to be among the top graduates of my class, so I could be hired by an American company based in Spain so I could be transferred to the Bay Area. By the time I came here, I was already 26 and I found myself as an immigrant here. Even though this is as close to a meritocracy as it can be humanly possible made, you American geeks enjoy the advantage of having been born and raised in the country which is home to geek wonderland (therefore don't have to deal with language/cultural barriers)! So please, be thankful to that!!!!!
You're a kid, I'm guessing that anyways.
Insulting things that you don't understand is an indication of stupidity.
It was a very well written essay and happens with various levels of harshness in schools in the developed world, it depends on the teachers and the subject matter as to how severely the groups are defined.
I would say the meaninglessness of the teen years is mirrored by the meaninglessness of the mid-life crisis years, after career success has topped out and the kids have gone off to college. Nowadays people in that age group seem to have found renewed meaning through trying to survive longer, thus becoming obsessed with health fads. Or they want to survive into other lives through reincarnation, and so take up spiritual paths.
I suspect the only reason teens feel the sub-society they are in is meaningless is because their survival needs are taken care of by others. Ask a gang banger in the projects who doesn't always get food for dinner reliably provided by a struggling working parent or a strung out junkie parent how bored he is with life. He probably is disinterested in school except as his marketplace for the drugs he will sell to finance a trip to Burger King and hopefully some bling and more. Suburban middle class comfort is what has made all of life so irrelevant to the teens you write about.
What I want to know is, do we humans ever get past mere survival as the answer to life meaning? I don't want to come up with better ways to make people of any age group feel like they can meaningfully contribute to survival issues, and so foster a more organized and meritorious social system for them to live in. That would be better than the current situation, but still not good enough, still just a delay of existential angst until the later years. Is this all there is to human existence, merely to exist?
I think Penny Arcade summed it up perfectly:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/10/28
=) (Sorry, just had to throw that out there.)
I don't think it would be possible to rank myself popularity-wise, in high school. I paid attention to my own friends and my own projects and didn't notice what the other people were doing, I was too busy with my own stuff.
By the time you become an adult, most people have become less dependent on social approval and more willing to be who they really are. It sounds like kids are more insecure now than they were in the 70s. That's sad.
Just aim for self-love and the rest will take care of itself. You can't please everybody, so find the people you respect and enjoy and they will be easy to please!
P.S. Please excuse me for my bad use of grammar.
It is astonishing to realize how much you are right by comparing schools and prisons, especially by reading this sentence in your reply to the comments that followed your article: "At my school, it was easy not to learn anything, but hard to get out of the building without getting caught."
However, I disagree with what is according to you the cause -or at least one of the causes- of that situation; you said:
"I'm just guessing here, but I think it may be because American school systems are decentralized. They're controlled by the local school board, which consists of car dealers who were high school football players, instead of some national Ministry of Education run by PhDs."
French schools are not controlled locally but by the Ministére de l'Education Nationale (Ministry of National Education), and the problems are the same than in the US schools. At the time I was at school, we didn't have the same kind of categories you can find in the US schools (I'm speaking about "Freaks", "Nerds", "Popular ones", etc.), but the situation was precisely the same: being smart meant being bullied, and it's still the rule nowadays.
Besides, from what I've heard thanks to people who are working (not as teachers, but as wardens whose work force them to be closer from the children and the micro-societies they create than school teacher) in French schools presently, this trend has eventually gained these schools: pupils separate themselves in affiliated groups such as "the gothics", "the skaters" (skate-boarders), "the rappers", etc.
Notice that I've precised that these wardens, are *close* from the children's world, closer than teachers: that's the node of the problem; having a statist national ministry in charge of schools run by PhDs won't be a solution as they, as well as the teachers and local school directors, won't have a real idea of what's actually going on in schools, being too far of the everyday life of (bullied) children to see anything.
So the solution, IMO, is "simply" to change the whole school system. Easier to say than to do, obviously; anyway I think that a good thing to do so as to expose the problem would be to make a documentary showing the daily life of a nerd at school, which won't certainly done or at least not before a long period of time...
By the way, a couple of days ago, in a French school yet not known to be a "difficult" one (understand by the euphemism "difficult": "ruled by violence from local gangs"), a teenager has stabbed another teenager for, what was previously thought, apparently no reason.
But the reason has been discovered later: they had a quarrel about "which one would rule the school".
... Prisoners stabs each others so as to determine "who rules the prison" too... :]
FC
I was called a nerd twice, that i can remember. I really abhorred that idea. But i think people, over time, had a problem labeling me because my social network was vast and crossed a lot of boundaries. And the attempts at labeling me really ended when i started playing football and after i started driving to school. As I began to buy-in to "acceptable" modes of social participation, I became more palatable.
But things I chose to do in high school, were guided mostly by my own volition. I was really trying to be popular - at school anyway.
I didn't feel particularly popular at home. And I wonder if that is what made me prey for the other kids. Could they sense that I didn't feel that acceptable to my parents?
So I wonder what the quality of the relationships between the parents and the kids who consider themselves - and are social labeled- as popular.
I've spent almost as much time as adult as I did as a child.
I think popularity and conformity still plays a factor. People still admire people that have money, are good looking, socially adept, fame, and high positional authority. But I suppose its easier to surround yourself by many people who think as you do as an adult. So if you want to remain socially awkward and focus on being really smart then you can do so relatively comfortably as an adult rather the closed system of junior high and high school.
Dude, bad lag, the article already said that.
The only thing you added is an implication that not TRYING to be popular is a bad thing.
When I entered my highschool, in mountainous suburbia, life abruptly became hell. I knew absolutely nobody, not a soul. My hair, way of sitting (I still do that; I've realized with some pride that I sit like L from Death Note), my baggy and INCREDIBLY unfashionable clothes, and the fact that I knew the answers and didn't suppress them to look like a hot little idiot (the ideal girl at my school) were a source of vicious mockery.
Being a girl, I don't get beat up; however, my combined oddities seemed, by late September of the first semester of Freshman year, to have convinced most of the school that I was literally retarded. After all, how could a person not straighten their hair, dye it platinum blonde in streaks, wear skintight jeans and T-shirts or miniskirts... etc.
The problem is that my highschool is entirely composed of people who are at least in the middle-middle class; people who aren't can't afford to live around the school. Most people are rich or upper middle class. I am probably in the upper low or the lower middle; our house was cheap, and we don't spend money on the stupid yuppie things that everyone else does. These people have lived in this town all of their lives, in most cases, and believe, as you said, that this is actually Life. They believe that MTV is an accurate representation of what they should aspire to; the bar for appearance is set outrageously high, because my classmates can afford it.
Last year culminated in the mysterious leaking of the information that my role model happens to be Joseph Merrick, the Elephant Man. After a day of bullying, missed assignments, loneliness at lunch and generic mockery in the halls, at a time where I was in tech week for a musical, was too depressed to eat almost at all the whole week, and danced six hours a night in rehearsal -- I'd had enough. I was walking to the bus home, getting snowballs thrown at me, and trying to ignore someone who was just being stupid and annoying, about Naruto or some crappy show. Anthony, one of the biggest jerks in the school (and, predictably, a star on the football team) spotted me and began, loudly, to trumpet like an elephant.
It was about then I was going to just stand there and scream at the whole situation, when one of the special ed kids walked up and hugged me and said it was all right. Great kid, and for a while after that, I was almost happy when people whispered about my 'retardation'.
Thought I'd share that story -- Anyway; I love this article. A lot of the time, I get fed up with school in the extreme; I'm only in second semester of sophomore year, and things are unbearable again. My (violently bullied) friend from back downtown loves this article too; it helps make a little bit of sense of our stupid high school lives. When I feel like just quitting, I read this article, usually in conjunction with The True History of the Elephant Man.
Actually, I'm not even sure where I'm going with this... I thought it was an excellent essay that provided a lot of insight, good job and thanks.
Maybe the nerds have more in common with most popular kids than think. It seems to me you had enough time to draw a map and label people with your ranking. I doubt most people took the time in school to do this. So in your own way you contributed to social rankings; only I doubt you ever had the nerve to share your map with anyone outside of your ranking. Because you'd be stopped... most likely by one of the most popular kids. I mean this is the first I ever heard of someone drawing a map for this purpose… and I doubt you would have ever posted this map for others to see…. instead you gave it power by keeping it to yourself and only those you trusted could see it.
What is even more interesting to me is…. I wonder if this secretive world of your map drawing and the most popular kids scheming is really so different. You say a girl was afraid of being made fun of for being seen with a nerd because her friends would make fun of her. Well isn’t that telling in itself. It appears that the most popular kids would make fun of the middle classes for talking to nerds, instead of the most popular kids being mean to the nerds themselves. So the nerds went on thinking the most popular kids are the most popular because their not so bad, but the truth of it is just as the middle classes were unaware of cafeteria maps…. nerds were unaware of the real reason the middle classes were treating them so badly.
So wouldn’t it be interesting if the middle classes found out about the cafeteria map that categorized popularity then the middle classes may appear more justified in their cruelty towards nerds… and then if the nerds found out just who was making fun of the middle classes for talking to nerds-the most popular kids. Then what would be…. Probably both the middle classes and nerds would try to better themselves and not be so judgmental leaving the most popular kids to fend for themselves.
But before I jump down the throats of people who screwed me over….my question is… do we need to be divided to become united? And is that what the most popular kids are guilty of…. division? Lastly is it purely in their self-interest or without it is life more chaotic?
I always thought of the most popular kids as such a tightly knit group while everyone else was more scattered. But the reality is they've already turned on each other so since they are self proclaimed survivors they ensure that others do the same but all the while keeping things on an even keel.
Why?
Because we know the back stabbing, the rumours, the bitchy lies, and (the worst) wearing the wrong thing! Who the heck would want to try to be perfect ALL the time?
we are from Brazil (we will actually enter in high-school this year, but we don't think it may be very different), and here the life for nerds seems to be easier than in the United States... anyway, we have always been very criticized (sadly even by teachers) for our unusual habits. those teachers always said that we should "go out" more and "study less" (believe us, some teachers actually have said this to us in a serious way). many students have also made fun of us for the fact that we prefer to stay home and read about history and learn math than playing sports like most people in this age do.
we just like the way we are, it doesn't hurt us; studying (not just school-related material) is a good practice and it doesn't affect people around us in any negative way, so why do they complain? why do they think that we should go out and "have fun" (in their own opinion) just because other people do? can't studying be fun?
"fun" doesn't have an universal meaning; each one should be able to define fun as the things they like to do, so if we like to stay home and study, it's fun for us. fun doesn't always have to be "going out" and "socializing", and doing what the majority likes to do: not everyone has to like going out. someone has actually said us once: "you can't dislike going out, because NO ONE I know dislikes it.": this person certainly didn't understand that each person has a different taste.
we also thought that WE were the ones who had some kind of problem, but now we realize that they (those who judge us by our unusual taste) are the ones who are misunderstanding the whole thing.
we come from a "family of nerds", and we like being part of one, because our family supports us and understands us. some people think that nerd habits are undiscussably wrong, but they are being very small-minded.
we liked what you said about American high-schools having no purpose. we also think that many teachers preffer to give students long and pointless work with the only purpose being the grades: the point shouldn't be the grades, it should be the learning.
we also liked the comparison of the American high-school with a prison: we compare it with a jungle. one thing that we noticed here where we live is that, until 4th grade, the teachers always emphasized that they are like mothers. but, from 5th grade on, there started to be more than 1 teacher, and those many teachers for each class seemed not to care about the students' behaviour anymore, and that may be the point where their minds start to become completely twisted.
the word for "nerd" in Brazil is "CDF" (an acronym in Portuguese which means "iron head"), meaning someone who studies very much. but what we don't understand is that "CDF" is used as an offense, and most people don't like being called that way. but why? what do most people dislike so much about people that like studying? this is strange, and certainly has something to do with the failing educational system, which is very bad here in Brazil.
this is of course the situation in a whole different country, but it is very similar.
NOTE: feel free to correct our English, if necessary.
I do like everything stated about the school system though, I never thought about it that way - that school is just an institution for storing kids until they become of use. Although for the first half of my day I attend regular high school and am force-fed all the useless (for me at least) facts about history and rhetorical analysis, the second half of my day is spent at a magnet school full of specialized courses in math and science that are very useful, and the teachers genuinely care about turning us into the best scientists we can become. So I do agree that in general school is exactly as the author interpreted it, but the point of my whole response is that there are always exceptions.
(p.s. I don't know if anyone has pointed this out yet because I didn't read all the responses, but there is a grammatical error in this essay. 10 points to anybody that can find it.)
It ought to be "whom."
Great essay.
"But I'm not mean to popular people that don't cause problems,"
...instead of 'that' should use 'who' because you are speaking of people instead of inanimate objects...
"it works best to have no shame and no fear and find stuff that makes you admirably different, (like I'm a female science nerd that plays paintball with the guys,) and to find a bunch of happy friends to mock society with"
should be: "to find a bunch of happy friends with whom one can mock society" [best not to end a sentence with a preposition..]
1. The kids seem more connected to the adult world, to adults in general. Less suspicious of adults, more trusting of them; they seem to have more of a feeling of sharing the same world, and of thus being less like prisoners, and more like interns... people who are at a different stage of their experience, but in the same shared space as the adults.
2. The kids seem less polarized into popular and unpopular groups. I haven't seen kids who are typical "unpopular" kids here in Spain. I don't remember seeing any in Norway either. Yes, there are groups of kids, groups of friends, but I haven't seen the unpopular ones as clearly as I have seen them in Canada and the US. I think they exist here, but there seem to be fewer of them, proportionately. The structures of the social groupings the kids are in seem less rigid to me, here.
All of this begs the question of why it is different in North America. I don't know - but I would like to!
Do you really think so ?....
just read this
The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.
this is by the way from socrates c.470 BC - 399 BC
I like your text but some of you theories are way off ;).
I guess you are not an expert on many topics you write about ...thats somehow dangerous.But when you keep it simple with eating tables ranked A to F you are good.
"The cause of this problem is the same as the cause of so many present ills: specialization"
so why is that an ILL ? I am pretty sure no generation hat more whealts, health (lived longer) and more knowledge...So why is it ILL ?
To me (a nerd, and proud of it), there are two types of nerds. There are the kind who lack social intelligence, but they are generally happy where they are. And then there are the kind who are very socially aware. They have a tough time, because they don't fit in, don't really want to fit in, but don't want to be a loner. Anyway, there you go.
Focus on what's important, and try to never loose compassion for people, because we are all the same deep down. Hope this makes sense from a 101 year old all the way from Australia....
I also avoid sports as a matter of personal preference, even pride, but I am friends with most of the fencing team at my school. However, they seem to be one of the only sports teams that have mostly "nerds" on the team who discuss Shakespeare and the meaning of life/42 at the lunch table.
I have found, though, that the most popular people at the school are not the so-called "jocks", but the drama kids. There is a definite hierarchy in the fine arts program, with the upperclassmen drama people on the top.
i assure you, this essay may be true 4, maybe 5 years ago... but now, its the smart kids that get the girls. even if your not very attractive, people will know you. my freind, he's black, he's not the typical stereotype of ghetto. he's VERY smart, and the girls seem to LOVE him. even the really pretty girls love him, they all know his name and want to be around him! i didnt understasnd it at first, but now, its all too clear. it seems to make me wish i was as smart as him, i dont even care if im ugly. i jus want to be smart, but i dont want to be smart because i want to get GIRLS. i want to be smart because i think it would make me alot happeier, i would understand things easier. do well in school and please my parents much more.
Some black kids have always been popular because of this reason: They were seen as romantic heroes, struggling against the Big Bad of Racist And Unjust society. This was particularly true in the sixties on university campuses. It might have seeped through.
Personal advice from me to you: Start reading more books, your spelling is horrible. Cut back on watching TV show with at least 2 shows per week. In those two hours you can read really good books. Start with Harry Potter, they're really good, exciting and completely spell-checked .... ;)
Thanks.
As a European, I've always wondered, when watching US highschool-dramas, why the popular crowd could stay so popular while being so hated by the majority? This kinda clears that up for me.
This sentence made me think that there's a film in here somewhere:
"Kids are sent off to spend six years memorizing meaningless facts in a world ruled by a caste of giants who run after an oblong brown ball, as if this were the most natural thing in the world. And if they balk at this surreal cocktail, they're called misfits."
For example this could involve a group of adults, being sent of into a strange surreal prisonworld, with literal giants and a mandatory game with mysterious rules. At the end of the movie the adults would transform into children, the prisonworld would be revealed as a suburban high school.
Such a film would be highly instructive for nerds. Like you said, if only someone has told you that it was prison instead of making you read Lord of the Flies ... Yah ... if ONLY ... ;)
Be of good cheer.
The first half of this "essay" was in fact interesting....some points I agreed with, some parts I found insightful, and some premises I thought were incorrect and off base. Mostly I thought to myself that the issue at hand was less universal than the author implied - what he described was not the case at my high school for example, and my girlfriend agreed that it was not the case at her daughters high school either...but in both cases we attended schools where accomplishment and achievement were and are rewarded (I attended one of the top public high school in the United States...my girlfriends daughter attends one of the most prestigious private schools in all of Canada). Ont he other hand, my girlfriend did agree that this sounded a like like HER high school, as her parent did not have the means to send her to an elite academic focused private school.
However, by the middle of the essay, it is clear the author is just an overgrown tortured soul still writing in his teenage angst that he has not been able to grow up and past. They hated me because I was smart...they hated me because I was more mature...school is useless anyway - it is nothing but a prison.
Dude...you got picked on because you were a social misfit. The same urge that prompted you to right this drivel...that need to be heard in order to prove how smart and more advanced and evolved you were...that is the urge that got you ostracized in high school. Sure, lots of what takes part in high school is banal. But lots of what takes place in adult life is banal as well....things like wanna be intellectuals leveraging the wonderful democracy of the internet to final be "heard", for example. Ones in ability to deal with this reality...dismissing what was not of interest to you without being so clearly dismissive of those who it was of interest to....the ability to pick up key clues about the social behavior that is the very fabric of our society (the good and the bad)...is both part and parcel of true maturity (which isn't just measured by intellect) and of a proper emotional balance.
Everyone else managed to get along except the kids at the "D" table. You've decided it was because you were some much smarter and more mature. That isn't the case. it was because you were so self absorbed and vain that you purposely stood apart to bring attention to yourself...and that is what you got.
"if these "smart" kids were so smart they wouldnt be wasting their time making maps of how popular people are ....if these kids are so smart why cant they figure it out that they just chose to not be popular ... if they are so smart why cant they find happines .. the thing is as seb said "they simply lack social intelligence " and thats why i think they are considered outcasts .. and not because they are too smart"
It appears a teenager understands something that you haven't figured out, even in adulthood.
Get over yourself. Really. You're an adult now.
I definitely think that i can relate a little bit with this author though because i know that i just choose not to be popular. I don't have the time. I have AP classes, debate, and work... no time for parties and talking on the phone about nothing for hours. I wish being popular didn't take work... that would be nice.
I am a graduate student who TA's at a top-25 (but not top-10) university. The students here are very smart. They're also very attractive, and they dress well. While a few of my students are socially awkward, this is not the case for the vast majority of them. I suppose it's possible that the majority--or even a large minority--of the students here were 'D-table' (or C-table) kids in middle school and high school and suddenly learned how to dress well and fit in when they met all the smart people here, I have a hard time believing that. I have a much easier time believing that these smart kids were mostly A-tablers than D-tablers.
Aussi, je suis d'accord avec GoGoBear et je ne suis pas un Francophone. Je suis le cours de francais depuis quatre ans et je n'ai pas utilize un tradectur electronique.
First, in American schooling the idiots win. Not just popularity, but in grades too. (which you seemed to have not seen) Due to the fact that the school system is designed for the slower end, in order to pass you must blindly memorize facts and are not required to understand the subject itself. While that may seem like something that would make school easier for the “smart kids” to pass, it in fac makes it harder. Those who have a higher range of intelligence usually have a much tougher time passing because the questions tend to be worded in a different way then our brains are thinking.
Secondly, as you pointed out already, the majority of teachers don’t care anymore. But I hate to say they all are like that. I’ve had many teachers who accomplished their job and still had the energy to go beyond their duty (throughout Middle school in particular). I honestly believe that when the government took over public schooling they ruined it for everyone. Lazy teachers merely teach for the SOL requirements now because that’s all they need students to pass. For example, when I entered middle school I was shocked that teachers kept teaching not only after the SOLs, but up to the very last day . When the SOLs ended in elementary school, we had gotten to watch movies the last two or three weeks of school.
These are just two things I felt I needed to defend, but I do agree with a good portion of what you have here.
The school has nearly entirely segragated the two halfs, it's an interesting, generally beneficial dynamic.
The only bullying I've heard of was within the two factions and there isn't much.
I am a nerd but I belong to an entirely independant social structure from the stereotypically popular kids so I don't even think of them.
There is no particular hierarchy to the nerd half but a distinct one within the 'normal' kids.
Independantly the students have basically seperated into two schools that just happen to be housed in the same building.
There are 1600 people at my school, about 400 in my year and I will probably never meet 150 of them and never have a single class with them.
I would think this sort of setup is highly unusual but it's all I've known and the teachers have long excepted it.
can. It does not really matter what University it is. What matters is you and how
much you really want to acheive. Use nerds can make it anywhere, not just at
Popular universities.
I'm a high-school senior right now, and this makes perfect sense to me.
It's been strange for me, though, because I became one of the non-conformist "freaks" in middle-school, and I was on the wrestling team throughout most of high-school. I was kind of alienated wherever I went: I was a freak, but I cared about studying hard; I was a wrestler, but I was a freak and I studies; I was a nerd, but I was a freak and I wrestled. This perspective of mine led to a lot of insight. Your article pretty much solidified what I'd been feeling.
I think that the reason American high-schools are so much more anti-intellectual than schools in other countries is because consumer-culture in America is so much stronger. Getting high-school kids to spend all of their money on new shoes and clothes is good business. I know kids that work over 20-hours a week to spend their entire paychecks on nothing but clothes, eating-out, and weed.
i am fourteen years old and i have a whole new outlook on middle school because of this.
im not going to look at the school nerds in the same way any more and im not going to look at myself in the same way anymore.
i believe that almost everything in this article you wrote is true and i want you to know that it has changed something in me
An observation:
In the Netherlands kids are divided according to intelligence at age 11-12. Most nerds end up in the highest level of education between age 12 and 18-19 (below that there are 3 levels for decreasing levels of intelligence, ending with schools that only teach practical hand-labour skills).
There are many problems with such a system, mostly based on the issue that intelligence just isn't easy to measure (partly solved because based on merit students can still move up and down the levels during their school career). But for a lot of students it created Nerd Heaven. I was surrounded by 500 students who like algebra, who like learning Latin, who wanted nothing more than build their own rocket. Sure we still got bullied by kids from a nearby school (let's say a school for level 3 out of 4, with nerds being in level 1 out of 4), but at least we could band together.
So maybe this is a potential solution, regardless of its many imperfections.
In mine,we had the jocks and cheerleaders, but they also included kids who were called "socsh", popular intelligent kids. There were those of us who were referred to as nerds/geeks, and there were the heads/burnouts (druggies), but they were never considered natural allies. Then there was a loose contingency of people who didn't fit in anywhere.
There were instances of a few jock bullies, picking on whomever (always male) they found to be a convenient target, but it wasn't to the extent Paul seems to have experienced. Cool girls could be cruel, but again, it wasn't a constant. Perhaps because we were such a small town things weren't quite so extreme?
I believe that to the extent we segregate into groups, and don't talk, share more experiences that differences are hardened.. but that applies to adults as well. Adults not pick on "nerds"? I don't know about that, but adults do pick on and abuse each other. Paul referenced Bill Gates, well, Gates might be highly intelligent and well educated, but he is also manipulative, greedy and highly despotic.
Whatever his IQ might be, it does not automatically translate to his output being in any way sound or positive. In a way, he is acting like the worst jock bully imaginable. He uses his money and power as cudgels instead of fists, to be sure, but still, to much the same end.
He received a Nobel prize for humanitarian acts, however the underpinning of those acts were to enable him to convince African government leaders to allow a pharmaceutical company Gates was heavily invested in, to test an AIDS vaccine on poor Africans. As a result of his insidious influence, AIDS actually increased in the countries that participated in the testing. Gates will no doubt never be tarred with that fact, though his money and power sought the sort of negligent practices that were used. He doesn't have a humanitarian bone in his body.
My daughter attended a larger high school, in the late '90s. More students, many more cliques and far sillier names attached to them. She's highly intelligent, but much more outgoing personality wise than I ever was.
Of course by that time terms like nerd and geek were far more appealing than they were in the '70s and early '80s. My daughter certainly used them to describe herself. She was a trophy winning softball player (unlike me, who had always been afraid of being hit by a ball.), a computer wiz, a passionate reader. She hung out with kids who played sports, average kids, punks and goths, and she pretty much dressed in jeans, t's and flannel, and wore glasses.
As a parent, what was most troubling to me, was that students were far more segregated than I was. Instead of students being merely catagorized into "collegiate" and "business" courses, there were five or six different classifications. Students are being dumbed down, and too many of the teachers were the epitome of the negative stereotypes I'd defended the profession against for years. Kids have it much tougher now, and I doubt too many adults are paying attention to that fact.
I attended a class reunion several years ago, and was actually shocked to find myself having conversations with people I never would have talked to back in the day. Most were pretty much thoughtful, decent human beings. A few of the jocks had gone to seed. I was saddened to see that one of my old high school friends, a highly intelligent and motivated guy had destroyed his life through alcoholism. Even more saddened after the fact when I contacted old friends who hadn't attended ultimately because they were still caught up viewing their fellow alumni through through frames of the past.
you didnt even bs any of it!
kudos to u
but ya u didnt have to throw in that stuff about school being like a part-time prison while my parents work! that is depresing
I agree that some of the causes for teenage misery are sociological and systemic, rather than personal.
My kids, 9 and 10, are homeschooled --- people feel that their socialization must be a big challenge. It isn't.
One of the benefits of homeschool is not having to wrestle with the social consequences of valuing your mental life. My kids are unusually creative. They have excellent concentration. They initiate many projects on their own and complete them without me. In our home we encourage Imagination, Concentration, and personal control of Time.
As much as public school teachers value and want such strengths , the social environment really mitigates against it. But school authorities also undermine all forms of independence, since it may interfere with the social control they need for mass production of diplomas.
I am not trying to change the system: just seceding from what does not work for my needs. Many parents are doing the same, regretful for causing the brain- drain.
Apropos of Mr. Graham's post- high school happiness, --- according to the Myers Briggs Personality Type Index, the Intuitive Thinking types feel terribly lonely and outcast in school --- until college, where they form a large part of the population. Post graduation, they become the leaders in contemporary technological culture, which is very dependent on Thinkers who use abstraction, insight, and ingenuity in problem-solving. It would be natural for an INTJ type like Paul Graham to become a successful artist and programmer.
But in junior high and high school, these types barely survive.
You raise some really pertinent ideas here and they lead me to think of some others. I remember reading a newspaper article some years ago about the points system in Ireland. You need to get a certain number of points in your leaving examinations to get into a college course. The amount of points required is worked out according to the number of applicants and the number of available places. So every year kids apply, sit the final exams in the standard high school subjects ( none of which bear any resemblance to real life or even academic work. It's a test of recall really), then in august you get your points (max. 600, that's straight As in higher level courses) and two weeks later everyone waits for the Central Application Office to announce the points required for each course and send out offers to those lucky enough to have enough points for their chosen course.
So what you get is high points for courses in high demand (law and medicine are the prime examples). This bears no resemblance to the level of intelligence required, or even the type of commitment needed. The opportunity to study a complex dialectical thing like the law or to become a healthcare professional, that is, a carer for the sick, is dealt out on the basis of how well you can remember quotes from King Lear or draw a diagram of how freeze-thaw erosion takes place on a hillside.
What this leads to is a stratification of student-bodies. The system treats us like consumers, so those driven to attain wealth and status study the syllabus day and night, pay for extra tuition and come out with 600 points. They become doctors and lawyers. The point of the article is that they may well have been better of picking turnips. A 600 point leaving cert is no guarantee of a skilled lawyer or of a doctor suited to providing a high-level of patient care. It is also no guarantee that once in college, you won't hate every minute of it. The point is that love of learning has been replaced by a system for rooting out those who can perform tasks within a given system in the hope of reward from on high.
Other students will be less motivated by the seeming rewards of diligence and will simply drop off the radar, without ever realising (until they're in the real world, and its too late) that the world at large values knowledge and skills totally different to those valued in schools. They are a very artificial system of merit.
The really nerdy kids, the ones who stayed nerds throughout, sometimes in secrecy, will go out into the world and find that it is a much better place than they imagined. They will find people and institutions which value their skills and knowledge.
Those who were most adept in school are often the ones who seem most petty and uninteresting as adults.
These are all archetypical descriptions and the lines will blur but i think you can see the similarities with your experience.
My own experience is that I discovered philosophy after leaving school and was astonished to find that people down through the ages spent their time thinking about abstract things simply because that was what floated their boat. And I became an avid amateur. So I went back to get a thorough grounding in the subject. I still meet people every day who ask what job I could possibly hope to find in philosophy. They find it very hard to understand that I do it plain and simply because it fascinates me. It touches on God, science, art, madness, literature, logic, AI, sociology, politics, justice. It is I think, the perfect undergraduate degree, in that it is so unspecialized. When I finish I want to be involved in studying politics, ethics, logic, linguistics, and a myriad of things. Every experience I have is richer. Pain and mental anguish are both increased and diminished by it. This kind of learning never happened at school. I hated maths at school. Now I'm reading a book on Godel's incompleteness theorems simply because it piqued my interest. I want to know about quantum mechanics. None of this is necessary for me to get my degree, but had I not started with philosophy none of these would have interested me. What job will I get? Who knows? I'm 23. I may have many different jobs before they put me in a box. We don't know what kind of society will exist in ten or twenty years time. Last year I met a woman who earns her living renting chocolate fondue fountains to people having parties. 15 years ago in Ireland, nobody had a job. If you pitched that idea to a bank manager, asking for a loan to start a chocolate fondue company you might have been committed.
I guess I'm just glad that I regained the nerdy part of me that I tried so hard to jettison in my early teens, and now I'm an adult with too many books, who posts lengthy replies to blogs on the internet, and has no idea how he will provide for himself, never mind figuring out how to support a wife and kids (if anyone should deign to marry me). And I love that. And I'm so grateful that I've had the circumstances (and the generous parents) to help me do this. Suburbia is still a bitch though.
Indeed.
I must say I've read some pretty insightful things in my day, but this must be one of the most eye-opening and .....just Wow! I don't even know - I can't find the words for it.
*stands up and applauses*
Bravo.
" When you tread water, you lift yourself up by pushing water down. Likewise, in any social hierarchy, people unsure of their own position will try to emphasize it by maltreating those they think rank below."
" When you tread water, you lift yourself up by pushing water down. Likewise, in any social hierarchy, people unsure of their own position will try to emphasize it by maltreating those they think rank below."
hope more people will read this.
I'm not saying there was no teasing or ostracization, but it's true - with those two factors accounted for, being a nerd became much, much more bearable. Some top nerds were even able to turn nerd-points into actual coolness value - after all, if a large (and therefore unbullyable) section of the population thinks Joe is cool, the rest of the group has to go along with it, otherwise the whole social structure of teenagers falls apart. That they think Joe's cool for being the only one to grasp the Calculus lecture on the first explanation or for successfully arguing down the history teacher regarding the Nuremberg Trials is sort of irrelevant.
Had the same observation at some point: public schools are part-time prisons to keep the kids out of the streets, so that parents do not have to worry about them during work hours.
OTOH, I realised, that when I was a kid I behaved like an adult. Now I kind of behave like a kid. (the Michael Jackson Syndrome ;) )
A lot of things you wrote sound familiar to me. Especially why teenagers bully the ones they feel superior to. It's exactly the same thing over here.
However, German nerds have 2 great advantages:
Our school system puts the kids into three types of schools with different academic levels after 4th grade. The hardest one has a higher percentage of "nerds" than the others, so at least nobody gets kicked around for spending time on other things than being popular. I had a pretty good time even though I wore glasses, I was good at almost all subjects (especially math), I played classical music on the piano and my social skills were probably lower average. That would make me a typical nerd, wouldn't it?
The second advantage: we don't have the word "nerd" in our language. Thank God.
I would give anything to go back to 1987 so that I could I deliver this essay to the 13 year old me... although to be honest, I don't think I would have read it all the way through. In fact, even if I had finished reading it, I probably would not have understood it. I was never really very perceptive when it came to this kind of thing...
And yet, despite the limited intelligence I enjoyed at the time, I had surprisingly few social acquaintances in my life who were not related to me by blood, namely Mother and Father.
In their case, I'm convinced, biological impulses and guilt were the only factors that prevented them from ostracizing me from family activities (such as Holidays, Christmas and annual birthday celebrations) even more than they did.
good stuff
Just hold on and ignore them.
1. The article is all over the place and it's unclear what you're trying to say throughout most of it. You don't explain the relationship between "schools as prisons" and "why nerds are unpopular" until the very end, and you don't address anything remotely relating to your "thesis" until the last section. I don't mean to suggest that articles are only good if they're written like high school term papers with a thesis at the end of the first paragraph, but this seemed really unfocused and was disorienting throughout most of the essay.
2. Your sections are way too short. I can understand making each paragraph convey the information that normal people convey in a single sentence. Most people do this when they write on the internet. But why make the sections separated by double line breaks so short? Each of these sections conveys roughly the information in a normal person's paragraph. In fact, just reading over this, it seems like the only reason you did this was to avoid having to adequately transitions between your paragraphs.
3. Your site design is obnoxious. Why does the text only take up 1/3 of my screen? Is it because we would see that each paragraph is less than a single line if it was spread out to any more?
4. A lot of your phrasing is clumsy and awkward. Sentences like "it's only temporary, and if you look, you can see beyond it even while you're still in it" are just unpleasant to have to wade through.
5. Your attempts to sound "deep" and "cultured" often fall on their face. You say, for example, "the only way to escape this empty life was to submit to it." This has NO MEANING at all. You don't explain why or how this is true. Being poetic is only fine as long as there is meaning behind your text. I would also recommend laying off the metaphors at bit... most of them seem forced and do not fit well with what you are trying to convey. Metaphors are only useful when they naturally flow with the text.
I'm 23 - two years out of college. I have promised myself (before reading this) not to forget how HORRIBLE high schoool was. No matter how harmless and stupid a group of popular kids look to an adult, I this it's important to remember how vicious and invincible they were when you were a teenager.
For now though, I will try not to breed and keep doing what I'm doing: nerding out all day at a kickass job that pays somewhat more than McDonalds.
This essay proves exactly what I'm trying to say in a speech I'm doing for my AP English class. It is awesome and says what I've been trying to put into words for years.
Oh yeah, life goes on...long after the thrill of living is gone!
(just passed up my 20 year HS reunion invite - no reason to go)
Paul
I have experience from the nerd population, and the preppy population (I'd probably be one of the folks sitting at the "C" lunch table, and maybe "B" at one point)...It is all just a free-for-all in middle school, where we all kill each other (sometimes literally) just for kicks...
At 11 or 12, smart kids tended to either be generally popular or have other groups of smart kids to hang out with, not that there was any kind of elitism involved, but unpopular kids tended to be either the violent or the actually disabled.
Moving to highschool, social groups were more defined, but with no real heirarchy. People overlapping more than one stereotype tend to be at least as popular as any "specialist".
Still, as a general rule, people with some mild mental abnormality tend to be unpopular but it's the people who pick on them that are really ostricised.
My sympathies y'all, sounds awful.
Thanks for the great article - I will reread it several times to digest it fully.
Thank you so much!
p.s. The goths at my particular school seemed to be the most popular of all the groups. Who knew?!
i know what u guys mean, i hate being a nerd, see i used to be popular but i realised wat a bitch i was, so i left their group, but while i was popular, i was still secretly smart, so when i left, the only thing i had left was my intelligence! lol, ever since that i have been called a nerd! but like jimbob, i have a load of popular friendz that want me to fight them, but i'm not that person anymore, it sux because i could turn back but i dont want to turn ma back on edu! but also i am a christian now, so i cant be popular unless i give up on my religion and education. all those people call me a nerd, and its driving me crazy, because i could always turn around and bash their head in and be popular again, but i cant. sigh. i am not even that smart, i can remember the last time i got an a!!!
A TIP FOR EVERYONE;
ok, so i'm still in year 8, but think of it this way, its only 5 years! then afterwards, u will be sucessfull, if u hold on to education.
at the moment thats the ONLY thing keeping me from dropping out.
i never hated nerds when i was popular.
i only hated people that hated me.
but my "friends" always did.
i know how u feel now.
but i'm not turning back.
and thankyou to the very generous person who took the time to write this very inspriational story.
good luck EVERYONE
xoxo Jayde
I tend to be the loud nerd. I've made lots of friends, so I consider myself cool, but I am not in the "popular" crowd.
- nick , aus
i could totally understand where the writer is coming from.
and i am no miss popular myself. But what i have come to realise is that the more popular someone is and the more that person seems to "fit in" the more insecure he/she really is. because when you get right down to it, "nerds" and unpopular people are individual. Thats why they're so hated. And the fact they are so individual means they are comfortable enough in their own skin to be their own person and not blindly conform. hang in there guys (:
If someone had offered me the choice between dumbing down to be popular vs. being smart and unpopular, I'm pretty sure I would've stuck with the smart unpopular person I was through high school.
I had friends (a lot of "Can I borrow your notes?" friends in particular) but high school was lonely, a horrible time, and I didn't see beyond it at the time. I sincerely thought the world was like that and didn't know differently until college. I was so glad to be in college, and then out of school into adulthood.
I'd always secretly suspected that the "heavy responsibilities" adults kept telling me about came with a corresponding set of freedoms that weren't mentioned. And they do.
Maybe it's because I went to an Australian school (though I don't think that made much difference), but I only ever had one teacher that didn't care about us.
The reasons for separation seem about right, although I'd like to point out that many nerds (and geeks) are autistic (or something similar), and thus don't even have much social skill anyway.
Later in high school, my nerd friends and I started a band and soon rose to be leaders of the 'freaks' as you call them. We managed to ruin most of the popularity pyramid since the nerds and freaks soon made up a big enough section of the school to not care about the jocks and cheerleaders. We had formed our own society out of necessity.
However, those formative years in 7th and 8th grade had a horrible negative affect on my view of other people. I was automatically on the defensive toward anyone who seemed very social, good looking, or popular. Even after college sometimes I would catch myself thinking like this, even when the person was a genuinely good human being.
When I see things like the Columbine or Virginia Tech shootings, I have to wonder if those kids just didn't realize that this popularity system is not the real world, I know I didn't realize it at the time, and if you add affects of medications or disturbed mental state to the day to day torment, you can see how such horrible things can come about.
The good thing is, us nerds, if we survive, usually come out on top. I think parents can make a big difference, my parents, although totally NOT nerds in their high school days, constantly reminded me, it didn't matter. That it would be over in a few years and that none of these kids should have any affect on my self-worth. They helped me a lot.
If I ever have a child, I will make sure he is NOT part of the A Table, even if he could be, because, as you said I would have never traded my intelligence, my originality and creativity to fit into this system.
all in all,i can say that you compiled the facts pretty well and did a good job in representing them...alienating them from what you personally feel.
The school was Weston Agricultural College in South Africa.
I'm sorry, I just can't see this - many nerds and geeks are autistic? What evidence is for this? Autism is a spectrum disorder, and part of what that means is that the displayed behaviors are not different from 'normal' people but just exacerbated.
Seriously, where did that statement even come from?
this has to be the most amazing thing ive ever read !
ur amazing for getting through all that but not letting it blind you but instead letting it make u more aware abt what REALLY goes on
i reallly admire u and today i had my high school orientation
im a nerd - kinda awkward but up until eighth grade ive had my friends , my own little niche but now im going to high tech high school without all my freinds and im TERRIFIED! all day ive felt bleh and then i searched nerds on google - pathetic . i no - and this came up ... it made my terrible crappy day so much better - well now that i hav told u mylife story that u prob could care less abt i just wanted to say i really admire u and this article rocked and will prob get me through the future worst years of my life - and when i come out i hope i can as optimistically as u write abt it and help others get through it if u could please send me some sorta reply back !!!!???? that would be soooo amazing ... -kay
Society really is twisted. I guess I've never been that socially aware, just wore the clothes I liked, in some unconscious bravery. I was very quiet, and once wore a Guns 'n Roses shirt, got heavy comments on it, though one girl said she liked it. I had to bear the comments and all but I guess I have been pretty immune for what others thought. Maybe I have been relatively immune to social pressure in general. Only since a few years have I been building up some social awareness, it felt like I was applying my intelligence to get knowledge of that. But being 27 now, as I said, and working since a few years I think a lot of these strange rules still (sadly) apply to the adult world. Makes me think the office itself could be a 'fake' world like you describe high-school. Not to discourage anyone who reads this, it is a lot different, you're let to be more independent/on your own but this pressure keeps existing. People I think retain this school attitude. They trust each other not on intelligence but on social performance. It hasn't been this way during the several places I've been working but especially so in one unfortunate occasion. To conclude, about, I carry this idea for longer now, that there are two types of people (although there is a gradient): introvert and extravert. I read someone on a forum saying this difference was like that between man and woman; well I think it is even more essential and a bigger difference than that. And by the way I am speaking from the Netherlands here, fyi. To conclude, really, I so deeply and easily see why your story is optimistic (and why most poeple won't see that).
I just have to say that one of the most annoying things, is when people who are incredibly popular ask you for help on their homework. It's just proof of their shallow little world. It's one thing if they're going to talk to you later on, but it's entirely different if they want your help to save their grade and then ignore you later. They're entire existence is responsible to their social status, and I can only wonder how the hell they're supposed to function later on if they've never learned anything of value.
Thanks for this, though, it's important to address. Popular people are generally just very skilled liars, whether they realize it or not. The greatest question is, how do you bring to their attention a fairly complicated subject, when, thanks to their popularity, they've never done any work harder than deciding what to wear? They've already wasted so many brain cells, how can they grasp the depth (or shallowness) of their facade?
I read through all of that thinking "I'm the coolest hybrid of freak and nerd ever"
so much of relates to me I even find the time to fit it in to this comment.
I'm in a catholic school so the "right" clothes don't apply but on civies day its like seeing the world with giant signs attached to people giving them a number on the scale of how popular they are. Its odd though how you said the most horrible years are when your age 11-14 and my first years (8-10 1/2) I didn't even seem to notice the social structure that was in place, and therefore didn't quantify/care about my own rank of popularity. But even now I just shrug it off like an annoying flying that seems to be constantly buzzing around your ear. Anywho I have to sign off because i have prison to go to tomorrow, Cheers.
Nerds are not smarter or better than the people who pick on them. Largely, they lack social skills. Social skills are largely independent of reasoning skills. Being a nerd has little to do with opting out because you want to cure cancer rather than play football. It is a result of not having self confidence.
Nerds often do better after they leave school. One reason is that many nerds need to get out of their home environment. Another is that they do have their skills more appreciated in the adult world, which can develop confidence. Another is just that some people develop social skills later than others.
But the funny thing about being a nerd, myself included, is an undying sense of pride. In grade school I remeber getting made fun of, it raged on into junior high, but in high school everything changed. And as long as your not the I know it all nerd(dork) then you'll be fine.
Personally I started as a nerd and ended up as the among the coolest kids in high school. My trick was when ever the popularity came I shrugged it off, like it was nothing. Because it is nothing, its a waste of time, I took up music, now I play guitar, piano and the violin, finds something youre good at and stick to it
nerd
My statistics of people that make fun of others most are very insecure and come from poverty class people, they make fun of people to feel whole.
I was in school to better myself i did go to school to be popular.
My advice is to people is forgive and forget, most of those people do not even remember you.
Thank you so much, your a great writer
lets just go get some natty ice and chill. we can totally bro out broskie. bro, bro bro bro...you know what calms me down? listening to dave matthews
How many girls at your school prefer Firefly and Stargate:SG-1 to The Notebook?
*gag* I am one of few girls I know who hates her mother's favorite movies...
The World is not made for us, and I'm glad this essay shows that.
Anyways, nice job (typing a very long paper)!
--Nub and Chelinka
why?
because its not about being popular its about understanding social dynamics,
and tbh its not complicated. Read about it perform it and go on with your goal to be
smart.
finally!!
im 13 and have always why im depressed all the time,even though it never looks like i am . . .:c
but alot of things make more sence now
i have to read this a few times though
:c
thanks! <3
-yoli
power to you.
I have to say that in your table map at high school, I'd probably be on an A table.
Not trying to boast. I don't enjoy it.
I spend about two hours per day on my physical appearance and I don't always say what I personally actually think.
I'm starting to get sick of all the bitching and everything that goes on in the popular groups. I was wondering earlier what it would be like to ditch everybody - the footballers and the popular girls - and just spend one lunch sitting and eating by myself. Or maybe find someone who's often made fun of who's sitting on their own and sit with them. Chat with them for a bit, see what they really are like as a person.
Oops, this is turning into an essay too, now.
Best wishes.
Kristina.
However, at least in my case, this just meant that I had three jobs, because I refused to give up any element of my life in favor of another- my family, my schoolwork and my friends were each vying for my attention, and it was hard to keep up. I rarely let them intermingle. My parents did not really come to my softball games or musicals. They knew about them, but I did not force them to mix. I did technical things, like programming, at home where my friends would not have to watch. They knew that I liked it, but I did not want to talk about anything too specific because they would not like it. It was part of getting good at pleasing people. It was not that they would actively put me down because I liked to program- it was that they did not particularly enjoy it themselves, and I was not going to bore them.
This also meant that I could only be at the 'B' table, however that was a conscious choice. I did not want to have to lie about who I was, as I did during my short stint with the 'A' table, but I was also not really a nerd because the 'B' table had enough social power to stave off any attacks.
However, I agree that it was not the best for my personal development. I got in the habit of avoiding detailed discussions about anything technical. One of the biggest shocks I received in going to a technical college was the freedom of math. It felt like porn- and I am not exaggerating. It was a topic about which I thought all the time, but it absolutely forbidden to talk about out loud, at least in my circle.
Finally, I just wanted to say that I think that the need for popularity is the single largest deterrent to women in technical fields. You have to give up one or the other or do the perilous double major- which is very difficult. And, despite my love of programming and math, I have to say that, in high school, if I had to choose one or the other, I would have chosen popularity, at least enough to say off of the 'D' table. Call me sexist, but I think that this is a more likely choice for women in general, and it is a horrible choice to have to make.
tapped out.
they always humour us in a weird way which is lol
plus you get to brag if you beat a nerd on a test (which is easy)
and they cant brag back
the reason they are unpopular is because being smart might mean you lack athletisism or interests of cool stuff and hey this is coming from a twelve year old
I totally support you on this. I address this comment mainly to the nerds who are suffering in high school right now. It really can be different, and among kids too, not only among adults.
Most of my knowledge of American high school comes from American movies (I'm not from the U.S.). When I was watching all these movies (my freshman year in college) I was very surprised: schools in the U.S. look nothing like the school I went to. There was even no such notion as "popularity" there. OK, I admit it, my school was a Math one, but anyway, I've got a brother who went to a more usual school, and he didn't show any signs of suffering from any sort of a popularity system. In my school it was like this: the smarter you are, the more respect you gain from your peers. I got better grades than most of my friends, and yet it didn't make me their enemy. At first I simply didn't understand, I didn't even believe that things can be upside down somewhere. I thought that those movies' authors were just kidding that way. Now I see that it is actually true. I'm saying this so that you know: it really can be different. And not only in special schools. When I was 12 I still went to a usual school. Then I went to a special math school. And I didn't want to go there, even though I love math. I didn't want to lose all my friends from the old school. And please note that I was the smartest and I was among the worst on the football field. I was friends with those best on the football field, they respected my skills at math, and I also respected those things they were good at (football, basketball etc.). I might say we even envied each other a bit, but only a bit.
You being nerds is in fact a great luck, and you will see it sooner or later. Please, please don't change! Stay smart, stay individual, stay different. Maybe I'm too young myself to give you advice about your lives (I'm 21), but take my word that now I'm happy I'm a nerd. The laws of "real life" are created by people like you, the most successful people are like you. Try not to hate your tormentors: your reward is coming, their times will end soon )
I always liked hanging out with the older kids and the cool pot smokers who didn't take themselves so seriously... I met all of them outside of school.
After High School I took a break and worked my job, smoked pot, tripped on LSD, drank beer, and intently wandered aimlessly for 7 years. Now that I have my self esteem and social anxiety issues solved, I can't wait to go back to college and get my business degree... and get laid. ;-)
P.S. Fuck the popular kids in highschool, it doesn't work that way in real life. I am so much cooler than anybody I know now. Also you'll realize that what is popular is usually stupid as hell. I mean, come on, have you seen MTV in the daytime lately? That's what the popular kids watch. Do you really want to be them? You don't have to be popular to get girls or have fun. You can have it all with those wonderful brains of yours.
And teachers definitely do NOT make the system better. Parents either. One of my science teachers gave me a 'F' on a project because others in my group slacked off. We were the group of outcasts. He gave the group next to us, a group of pretty blondes with short-shorts, a 90, 'B'. I asked if there was anything I could do to bring it up, given that I had done my part of the assignment... he said, "No." The girls besides us complained to him once and he gave them an 'A' instead. Bullshit much? Did he give them that grade because they looked and were in the popularity circle?
I wish that teens were not pushed into a popularity hierarchy, but that is indeed what happens. If only change would occur, but when would that happen in a world so quickly degrading?
One of the main reasons teachers and adults (who you so wonderfully grouped together as one group, in my opinion one of the flaws in this article) seem to egsasurbate the situation is because they throw around clichéd lines, I'm sure you've all heard the type of thing i mean, without really thinking deply into them, and as a young person, you don't delve on these sayings, thing's like "be yourself" have only recently begun to make sense to me, valuable morals are cramped into a few sayings that are commonly thrown round, alot of the time by people who haven't thought about them themselves.
Like many problems, the situation of unpopular smart people or nerds, is caused by common ignorance. The reason this ignorance is existant almost everywhere you go is simply because there is no drive or need to not be.
Also, I feel comprehensive schools can never cater to everyones needs or skills, the type of intelligence they can measure is very narrow, people cannot always give the best of themselves in writing, which is how schools test pupils in almost all cases. It takes a different type of intelligence for example to be win an election, it is not always the party with the cleverest leader or the best manifesto who wins, it is simply the party which the public likes best for whatever reason, much like thesituation you've described in schools.
I apologise for the way this has been written, I havent had a chance to read it back, and my family call me for dinner, and i am one of those who cannot articulate themselves very well in writing.
Because the government schools were DESIGNED to be free precisely from this "pressure."
Because the parents' money is TAKEN from them, mostly in property taxes, and then appropriated by the government to run the schools, the parents have NO power. The schools are socialist. The market has been disabled in the case of government schools.
The government schools were imported by American socialists from socialist Prussia. They were always INTENDED to undermine the bond between parent and child, and to undermine the society that had formed naturally in America.
The most powerful, malign, and longest-running HOAX in U.S. history is "the public school." It is a hoax because this massive socialist enterprise, which runs counter to everything truly American, has managed by more than a century of propaganda, to convince the majority of Americans that "without our public schools, our country will fracture, breaking down into warring factions."
Schools, public and private, are NOT designed to meet the needs of children.
PARENTS are designed to meet the needs of children. Homeschooling--TRUE homeschooling, not imitation at home of what goes on in schools--is based on NATURE. With homeschooling, male children have both a male and female teacher and a male role model for father, husband, complete male human being, female children have a female and male teacher, and a female role model for mother, wife, and complete female human being.
Homeschooling is an unfortunate name for a Fully Functioning Family. It's a negative word, like "horseless carriage." It's "school"--but at school. A Fully Functioning Family should not define itself by the negative fact that the children are "not in school."
The NATURALNESS of a fully functioning family is what the ideologue socialist gender-benders HATE. They hate life, they hate nature, they hate marriage, they hate the family. And 90% of American children are spending six to eight hours a day inside this statist, socialist, unnatural system.
I am sorry for my bad english.
it's sad how the minority (nerds) is seen so badly from the majority (the more popular kids).
if you ask me, I think that having intelligence or doing some productive thing, should get much more credit than wearing cool sunglasses or talking dirty like a bastard. the last things don't make you a significant person, sorry. at least not for someone with an average IQ or more.
but people, especially teenagers, are not interested in knowledge or doing something good, but in coolness and how to attract bitches. yes, it's true.
well, I'm 23, so I have understood these things now, at least. some other people don't (or don't want to).
what a read it's just so true
How do you know you are exactly the third most popular kid in school and the second smartest? Did you and your friends take a poll or something? How very nerdy/popular of you.
And where are you getting your rankings? How do you know that you're the "third most popular kid" in school and "the second smartest"? I assume that some sort of popularity contest could be used to determine popularity rankings, but how are you quantifying "smartness"? Do you have the highest GPA? The highest IQ? Tested highest in your class on the PSAT? What's the standard and what's the curve?
Which all adds up to making me question your veracity in saying that you're the second "smartest" kid in your school, or makes me wonder how "smart" the kids at your school can actually be.
NERD - OFF!!!
my friends and i sit in the 'a' section even though we probably belong in the 'b' or 'c' haha
but we do have lots of friends in the cafe so its ok
I think the part about suicide is very true. I once made a list brainstorming methods of suicide and listing the advantages and disadvantage, after researching for a few months. After I decided which method to use, I decided I was too cowardly to kill myself. Well, I realized that even though my life is screwed up, I still can make a difference to this world someday. Hopefully.
You wanna be such a show off!!
It's weird, comparing me now and me then, I am much less nerdy and I have many more friends. I've all but discarded my nerd label that I was addressed by for three years, over the course of one year. The best part is, I retained my inelegance. I'm no longer a nerd, but I'm no were near popular, or at least I don't think. I've moved from the D table to the C table, I may actually be closer to a B then a C.
However, like I said I retained my inelegance. As you said the nerds have to find it within themselves, I know I did. And if these "nerds" try hard enough, they can have both: Smarts, and popularity. Your popularity may not be at the top of the social ladder, but it is a huge step above what you had before.
Again, an excellent read.
However, as soon as I got to High School, popularity became irrelevent because there were so many social groups that they all had about the same amount of people. It was only the Tam-O-Kids (school slang for rich kids derived from the gated community where they lived) that controlled the ASB and were considered 'popular' by the common definition.
My other partial objection in here is regarding academics, at least in science fields, right now I am just finishing up my degree in biochemistry and genetics and I am about to go to Oxford to do research for a brief time before I (hopefully) enter a graduate program to continue my studies in biochemistry. I've done a good deal of research in genetics and neurology for an undergraduate student, have authored a publication and been to a conference... the point of all of this isn't to say how well I've done, but more that I am pretty well networked among biochemists, geneticists and a few other science academics... and while being nerdy may be exaggerated (I know this well, after making and telling a few too many jokes about my research)... but, at least among professors it seems like charisma is becoming ever increasingly important. You're expected to be nerdy and weird, but also have a somehow magnetic personality... it's sort of an interesting dichotomy.
What boosted my confidence is when my father bought me my first vehicle, if it were not for that i would be down, also working with my big sister helped me see that light i gotta let the bad people from my past go.
I have seen some of classmates from school the majority of them do not have cars, if they have a car it is almost twenty years old. Having material things helps self esteem to a certain extent, when you are doing good you do not have the time to worry about people that are not helping you achieve your goals i put those school years behind me. I realize that was in school to get a education, not to be cool.
sometimes i regret it.
One is that we aren't hot.
The other is that nerds don't need to be "fixed". I can walk and talk and dress myself and clean up the bathroom, flush the toilet, make dinner, find and keep a job. I don't spend the entire day in my underpants playing Xbox eating Triscuits and Wispride. I don't need to find a Mom to take care of me. I can't be molded and shaped and turned into something that she can look at and say, "what a good person am I, that I turned this uncultured brute into a human being."
it might sound horribly insensitive and believe me i do feel bad for those that died, but for me the best part of my school life was after columbine i was a nice quiet kid who took a lot of shit and after that people were a bit afraid to push me because of what might happen.
also this is damn insightful, i want to make every kid read it once a year from age 10 to 15 (yeah i know hard enough getting the average kid to read a paragraph let alone this whole thing) it might give some youth like i was hope (and trust me i felt pretty hopeless at times. having my throat cut open and bike vandalized were 2 of the more minor things that happened) and show bully's a reason to be nice to nerds.
I can honestly say that after 10 years of constant harrassment and emotional and physical torment (combined with extreme religious views hoisted on me by parents that it was the Christian thing to never fight back) that the massacre at Columbine made the assholes at least afraid to try to break me, and it definitely made life bareable after I had gone through so much.
BECAUSE you're not popular, it forces you into developing some kind of other strength, like "intelligence".
Everyone need something to pride themselves of. If you cannot pride yourself of being good looking, funny or social, then one option is to adapt a "nerd" image.
Also...... I disagree with the notion that nerds are REALLY intelligent. They are just more reflected in certain areas, in terms of having spent more time than other people pondering about certain things.
I don't think most nerds have any genetic advantages that them making them more intelligent. I think it's mostly a self taught thing... achieved by focusing wery strongly on certain subjects.
If you live in California, there is a test called the CHSPE that you can take after your sophomore year in high school. If you pass you can go to college two years early. You will probably end up going to community college, but community college is much better IMO. Generally you can transfer to a four-year university from there.
If you live in California, there is a test called the CHSPE that you can take after your sophomore year in high school. If you pass you can go to college two years early. You will probably end up going to community college, but community college is still much better than high school. Generally you can transfer to a four-year university from there.
When I was in high school I was never really picked on but I it was a pretty miserable experience. I think I sort of kept to myself and dressed in a way that conformed enough so that nobody noticed me. I used to try to take so many extra classes that I didn't have a lunch period. I think I was only in the cafeteria for a full lunch period once in all four years. The semester I had a lunch my art teacher let me stay in his room and paint.
Now that I'm teaching I sometimes wonder how I can actually make the experience better for my kids. It is hard though, I get so overwhelmed with trying to plan decent lessons and keep the class running smoothly that it is tough to really know what is going on in their world. I have to admit I'm pretty far removed from understanding their social lives, but I guess I was removed from the social scene when I was a student too. I think it is even tougher because the students I teach are from a very different socio-economic background than I grew up in and I don't always understand their culture.
I really do feel like a prison warden sometimes. I have to be really strict or they try to walk all over me, especially since I'm pretty young. I’m 26 but the first day they thought I was a student. It is a battle just to get them to put any effort into their class work. It may be compounded by the fact that some of my colleagues let them get away with not doing much. The truth is most of them don't care about what I'm teaching. Of the 150 students I taught this year, I could count on my fingers the kids with a sincere interest in art. I'm hoping some will appreciate it when they get older but to be realistic, I know they don't need to know about impressionism and cubism to succeed in their future. I think as a teacher I need to work on being more understanding, but taking on all their issues and the social system is a lot of work. This year at my school there were seven fights in one day. I had a kid put his fist through a glass window because someone teased him – it was the last straw on the anniversary of his mother’s death. It is a really tough world and it is hard to know how to help.
The comments about Columbine were really sad. I can remember at my school we had a bomb threat a few days after it and everyone started talking about this one girl because she wore a trench coat to school. I have to say though, however much you may be picked on, it is really disturbing to hear anyone taking about reaping benefits from such a tragedy.
High school is rough for everyone. I started letting one girl stay in my room at lunch this year because she said she didn't have anyone to sit with. By the end of the year I had about five kids in there that I couldn't get rid of them. Sometimes I don't know what advice to even give them, except that they will get through it.
I think you're absolutely right, even though I don't live in America's conditions in the ins and outs of coolness, but I know what it feels like to be a nerd. You feel like crying, but then again, I had an outer shell so no one really cared about me. Because, you see, I moved schools. My first school, I was really popular everyone was really nice to me. The next school, we had four classes, 2 were the normal ones, the other two were the really smart people, they came from different schools across New South Wales. Only 160 people got in. I was assuming everyone would be nice to me and I would be nice to them, but I seemed wrong, some people there liked swearing, it seemed that swearing was 'cool'. I didn't like it so I kept away from that group. And that's the end of the story. But I have some advice to people who are picked on with friends. Like, you're just crossing the grounds of your school and these random people come and start teasing you and your friends. It's unfair because your outnumbered. 8 to 3. Join your group together with another group and then it's a lot harder for people to pick on you if you have back up. But how do you join? I know this going to sound like lying but it works. Agree with all the people. You can sometimes disagree if it's something small but agree big-time. Then once you've known all about the other person, bring everyone who likes the same thing (such as if some people like cats) to the movies or something about the cat. Now that you have some other friends, rejoin your original group, and the people who like cats will follow you and the people who like the people that like cats will have to join you to. Actually, don't follow this piece of advice, it only sometimes works.
after reading both I think nerds in scholl can be defined as a kind of unconscious rebels against the meaningless show business culture that pervades our culture. cheers from brazil.
Maybe - if I remember - I can come back and read the whole thing. I probably won't, I'll probably forget it forver, but I'll never forgret the time it was neat to remember...that one time right now.
Thank you! Always don't write!
Unless you're old or dead, in which case I missed you by only a decade.
Albert Einstein
Thanks for writting it, quite enjoyable!
If you enjoy doing well at school, keep it up. Don't worry about being popular, it's mostly a confidence thing rather than how well you're doing at school. The less you care about what people think of you, the more popular you will become.
I too, am a nerd, very smart in many aspects especially computers, and although im 'higher-up' than most nerds as I have not alot but enough confidence to get through the day, this essay really helped me understand that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that school is nothing more than a holding place for the "important" people to do their work.
Schools tell you stuff and you repeat it back to them, don't be fooled, this is not intelligence.
Homer: "So then we played Dungeons and Dragons for 5 hours... then my character was slain by an elf."
Bart: "Listen to yourself man, you're hanging with nerds."
Homer: "What? You take that back! Nerds are my worst enemy!"
Marge: "Homer those kids are nice people but they're obviously nerds."
In that same episode, Homer decides to give the nerds at his college a hard time so he makes fun of them in front of a jock (who is actually a nerd). And that's just one show.
So yeah, much as I hate the public school system and the fact that a lot of your theories are sound, with pop culture making fun of nerds and even making shows that are made to make fun of people for being smart (Family Matters anyone?), then it's no wonder nerds are unpopular.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=20868191465
It's about time that people starting realising (or admitting) that school is effectively worthless as real-life preparation. I would hazard that I've now forgotten around 50% of the education I had, and I'm only a year removed from year 13 (17-18 years old). It's undoubtedly because it will not help me in the slightest when I'm older to be able to, for example, bisect an acute angle using a compass, unless I go into mathematics - and even then I can't think of a useful application of it.
Jammer has it spot on - temporarily being able to recall facts about historical wars and recent literature and the photosynthesis process is not intelligence. Intelligence is about grasping concepts and forming ideas and opinions, not using memory. In the real world, it is usually better to be skilled at a job rather than intelligent - just look at footballers or movie stars - but intelligence can help you adapt, it just can't really be taught.
One thing I think this essay missed that seemed a bit obvious to me is why the real, grown up world is more hospitable to nerds. Surely it is because, in the real world, nerds can be appreciated because of the skills they bring. In schools, other kids couldn't care less about a nerd being able to program software, but to a software company, it's vital. A nerd suddenly becomes a valuable commodity when you have a technological need or problem, but high school kids don't need to think that way. A typical high school kid is more in reverance of a guy who can hit a ball well than a guy who can do advanced calculus.
Shame, really, that school can't at least teach kids perspective.
bob.
a.
Also, what on earth is a kidult?
Thanks.
Thanks you for your words, i wont forget them.
Great essey.
This essay makes no sense on so many levels it's scary. You're writing about what other disgruntled nerds want to hear. Stating blatantly (the opposite of tactfully) that nerds are superior without exception to all other high school stereotypes because they didn't like the way people treated them in school is silly.
You're just an angry child yourself because now that you have the ears of those within your community you cast bad light on those you don't like based on the fact that people like - but not neccessarily them - didn't like you when you were young.
Still, I am considered a genius, along with a lot of other kids who are extremely smart. This essay seems like it's purpose is to encourage stereo-types, which is totally against why it was even made, as you stated.
"Popular" kids are the ones who are a lot of fun, no matter how they look, if their athletic, if their smart, etc. If you are boring, or anti-social... well, you claim nerds are smart. That they can beat the "system", but choose not to. If you act like you absolutely despise everyone and everything around you, or if you dont even want to have friends or be outgoing, yes, I think it's obvious you'll become an easy target to your peers. They will say anything about you, for reasons even you stated.
My point is, if you claim all of that is true, then why the hell are you saying it over again? We know this, we know what we're doing to our "world". (Even though we really dont).
And on how school is worthless? Screw you, if you really were on of the smart kids who are fueled by nothing else other than increasing human understanding, you would know that school is what taught you to read, write, and handle social situations which you obviously still haven't learned how to. While sure, you'll forget half of it, it increases your academic/athletic/social skills in general, which is very helpful later on in life.
If you want to create things, then you know that you'll be in school all your life, learning how to create w/e you want to create. In case you haven't noticed, every generation has taken the ideas of it's former, and made them better. Advancing human technology, evolution, w/e you want to call it, those adults need us, and they EXPECT us to create a world that only the good can envision.
Summed up, you have no idea how to live, man. :)
But on the bright side, you HAVE inspired me. >:)
I believe this essay will be helpful to my son - who is surprise, surprise - away at computer camp. Geek heaven. But he has lots of other interests, too - and a ton of friends! Especially now that he has left public school.
BTW, Miss genius, Kim, you may wish to note the differing spellings of "their" and "they're" and their correct usages. If you feel free to speak so disparagingly of another it may be wise to be quite unassailable in your own perfection first.
At any rate, thank you for your unique and well thought out words. They moved me towards compassion and clarity. And I learned a few cool new vocabulary words as well.
Aw, Im so sorry I mispelled a few words which even a brain like yours can point out.
But Im guessing, since that's all you could point out...
that you failed to realize what points my view made.
As will plenty of others, unfortunately, who tend to believe what comes more readily to mind.
I am sorry I was so flip when responding to you. I felt disturbed by some of your comments as they seemed to illustrate just what he was talking aobut. Some kids don't choose to be anti-social or to be "not out-going". they don't know how to do it well! They enjoy thinking about difficult topics or reading literature or doing math more than chatting about the latest movie, etc, etc.
It would be a great joy if kids could accept all the differing types of people who are out there. Everyone has worth and if you look deep enough you may be surprised how interesting they are as well as how much to offer they have.
As you get older, making the world a better place becomes a real and urgent priority. Being kind even when it is easier and more convenient not to be can be an ideal worth striving for.
YOu suggest that school increases your ability to socialize, use academic skills and become more athletic. Having been out of school for many years I can tell you that my academic, social AND athletic skills increased greatly after school was over and I got to discover what I really enjoyed and was good at.
Again, I am sorry if I trivialized what you had to say. Its just that speaking aobut a "world the good can envision" in one sentence and then flippantly telling someone "they don't know how to live" seems a bit confusing.
Maybe his and your definitions of living well are very different. For that better world to come aobut we all need to envision that that is OK. (The being different that is)
The bureaucratic options could be explored, but they are remarkably bleak. The system is maximally efficient for a modern industrialized society. We could provide two tracks, so that the brightest ones aren't wasting their time. This is basically what is happening already, and it is a very very good idea. We get the short term payoff of the prison-system, and the long term payoff of still educating the best and brightest.
But at rock bottom, this is just an improved compromise. I have continued to treat it as an economic problem. It is a moral problem too.
This is my take on it. Modern history has seen humans insulate themselves from nature, create their own tools, and set their own terms, and things are good. Things are so good that there are few real points of contact with nature left for most of us. But breeding remains as that one deep point of contact. Raising children is kind of a dirty business where ethical compromises are made for the greater good. Before civilization, where nature ruled, everything was a rather dirty business.
We could instead be amazed at our ingenuity that we have found a viable way to have a specialized industrialized society and still raise sufficient children (not an easy accomplishment, look at Europe).
One thing I do, tremendously agree on, and something I realized in the last year of my high school education - that is, last year - is that, yes. We are bored because our work has no effect, and no value. I haven't got a job yet - I'm still recovering. In my case, this means actually trying to gather enough energy, strength and above all confidence to discard the defensive mechanisms I developed through childhood and school. It isn't all from my time at school, but I know that a significant part of it is.
Good luck trying to convince people to change things, though. Oh, this leads to another thing I wanted to point out. The American false-world of school systems? It's fed into the American false-world of adult life as well. Anyone who's paying attention will have noticed that American and Americanized (the influence goes far, far beyond borders, believe me - I'm actually Canadian. It works the same way there. I recently moved to Australia. It works the same way here) politics fast becomes a popularity contest. Why? Because adults are not immune. And, the kids who devoted their lives to being the top of the popularity contest at school continue to use the "skills" they learned outside of it - and become the top of the pack, or one of various packs, from the local to the national or international level, outside, not by making intelligent choices or even necessarily being competent - but by making themselves popular with the group.
I'll quit ranting now. I'd love a response, though. If anyone wants to contact me and chat more about this, my email is serpentstare@gmail.com.
I really love the freedom that homeschooling gives to be able to "work for yourself" without the pressures of a useless society. It doesn't squelch social skills. Quite the opposite. Homeschooling allows students more time to interact with real people in the real world.
Anyway, thank you for the very interesting read!
I tell everyone this because just because you are picked on in elementary school or high school doesn't mean that is what you have to be today. You have more power than you realize. A high school teacher once told me something profound. He told our class "for those of you who bully the "nerds" in class, have your fun for a few years because eventually when you have put on fifty pounds and are no longer cool. They will have the hot wives and you will be working for them, wishing you were them."
I use Facebook, and I have to say it's incredibly depressing at times. Just because I don't have things like "getting drunk at bars", "reality TV", "cars" or sports listed down as interests, it makes it very difficult to make friends. There's always a kind of cut-off point reached during any period of interaction with another person.
Being without friends I can do with. Having to give up the girls as well, that I can't deal with.
You really put into words whats been on the tip of my tongue about the world around me for a long time.
I'm 40 years old, and it's still the same. The real world is even crueler.
They are isolated, so they can't defend themselves, nobody taking their side.
Beware, young nerds, it won't get better ! You better unite, nerds of all countries, or the popular will ban you from the playground, that is, the real world.
I do not live in the USA, nor do I go to school there.
Yes, I am still in high school(the question must have been in your mind, because of my previous sentence).
But I fully agree with this thesis. I am dutch, and high schools are a bit different here.
While I am neither a 'nerd' nor a 'freak', I think myself as a mix of both or something.
I am a outcast by choice, well I did, but somehow I picked up a group of friends who were all upperclassmen, while I am not.
We here do not really have 'these groups'. For one, sports, are not that big of a specialization here. Nor is bodybuilding.
You have your own kinds of groups, these are not exclusively nerds, freaks or such. Even though its more likely that they'l group toghetter(common interests)..
Sadly due to lack of time I have to cut this response short.
I'l continue this response another time.
(Points to self) Nerd.
I agreed with a lot of what you said.
Simply Brilliant..
Your pictures look much like my own high school year book. Strange world we lived in (and strange world our children live in!). I've absconded with my own children. I'm homeschooling them in the hopes that they'll grow up to understand more about the world than whether they're a "nerd," "jock," "stoner," or "preppy." Oh, yeah I'm out of date on my terminology - I don't even know what these groups are the kids are talking about in previous comments
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im here for your enlightenmen;
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
I think that you should find out something about the author of this article.
By most criteria, he would not be considered a "narrow minded failure". Try to "just fucking google" "Paul Graham".
Kind Regards
Dude your a complete idiot, shut up and move on. if you didnt like it, dont bother it. and swearing a lot only shows that you have a very limited vocabulary
btw dont fucking bother responding to my comment im not gonna come back to this site anymore, and for the sake of being prudent, just in case some of you still bother to respond asking "how about you tell us why nerds are unpopular" ill answer like this... go find out yourself you fucking narrow minded failures im not here for your enlightenment
if you go on asking "maybe because you dont know the answer" ill say, what some random who i dont even is telling me what i know??? YEA GET REAL BUDDY, i dont give a flying fuck what you think
ps. if you think there's a correlation with my swearing and my social status in life, YOURE FUCKING WRONG, i swear because im appalled by this pathetic simpled minded essay, i hope the failure who wrote this is american cause thats where all the arrogant/simple minded fucks should be thrown off to (americans has the lowest literacy score among developed nations...forgot the source just fucking google it you arrogant,KFC munching pigs
Nerds are unpopular because there is a considerable about of alienation caused by being smart... some hostility, some misunderstanding
When I understand something.. it is almost patronizing to actually HAVE to describe why it makes sense to another person, being smart is.. albeit lacking in logic... insulting
Often times, for me anyway, I feel like I'm not intelligent, everyone else is dumb, and it is very frustrating to understand something, to be able to pull stuff out of my head at the speed of light, and to see others confused at some of the simplest task and problem. Some people end up forming frustrations and... not understanding the extent of which one doesn't understand, can actually patronize, and insult another for acting as if they are "that slow". Standing in a room full of r-tards is very frustrating, and a true test of patience for both groups, the nerds and the norms, it may not be "jealousy", or "envy", quite frankly its hostility and it is anger from the illogical emotional misunderstanding.
I'm in 9th grade....and I'd say I'm somewhere in the middle of the social ladder...I mean, I'm not popular because I'm not known by everyone....if I was..I'm pretty sure I would be..in our school, being 'famous' is synonymous with being popular.....and I'm not known because I don't want to be...'cause that would involve wearing truckloads of makeup everyday and wearing skirts about 1/2 a foot in length ( a little exaggeration maybe, but not much)This doesn't mean everyone who's popular is an airhead...I have a couple of friends who're really well known..and they're good people who're also smart.....I wouldn't mind being like them, except I'm not sure HOW.....because the social positions have been established already, and changing that is not the easiest thing in the world.
I have a feeling that this article is just special pleading by someone who was a traumatised outcast in high school and has made his way in the "real world" by taking the opportunity of graduation to avoid it entirely and permanently.
I figure it is only a matter of time before his C average leads him to further poor decisions. I was probably one of his most capable employees; unfortunately at his learning rate it will take him 3 times longer to realize it :)
High school is very similar to real life. Believe it or not, popularity is still a deciding factor in the workplace. But that person had to be something or do something to get to that point.
To call the high school quarterback dumb and ignorant is ignorant itself. Stereotypes do not always rule the world as most people think. Brooding over failures in high school will get you nowhere Jen. Maybe you should be more personable and less stuck-up about your "impressive intelligence".
Your essay is the first essay ive read thats been written by a person whos graduated highschool and college and manages to sound decent to a highschooler. Most essays ive read usually tries to belittle youth culture, or try to explain one thing but end up saying something completely bogus.
You forgot to mention though that there are ways that nerds can actually beat the system and still manage to be smart, be praised for it, and yet still manage to be one of the most popular kids. I know its seems kind of like a movie thing but it does happen. Usually these "super teens" don't usually share how they did it because they don't others to do what they did so the original popular kids wouldn't start thinking "hey too many nerds are becoming popular, we gotta stop this."
In my school, the gangsters and b-boys are at the top of the popularity game. Well growing up i was a nerd, from grade 1-9. But then i started hanging out with an old friend of mine who happened to be transfering to my school and yes he was a gangster. Once everyone saw me with him they were like : "Yo man you chill with that guy? say word, didnt know you got deadly connections like that" and i was instantly popular yet still managed to pull a 94 average in gr10. There are other ways that nerds can do a popular leap but in our culture, you're not supposed to tell adults anymore than they need to know and you don't tell them anything that they can use to ruin your society.
I think that instead of sitting at the unpopular and popular tables,people should sit together for there hobbies.
One that I had considerable enjoyment reading.
I can definitely relate to the author and the trials faced in high school.
I think I faced even more scrutiny than normal as I was a dancer and chorister as well as an academic who just happened to be good at sports.
I was a bit of an enigma and lot of Aussie males didn't know how to take me.
I totally agree that hormones have become the new excuse for inexcusable behaviour. Still, the education of morals and values must fall on the parents. The schooling system is to teach us many things, but if we can't learn the fundamentals of life and relationships from our parents, then schools have very little to work with.
Thank you once again for a very good read.
P.S. If anyone else from MACAT posts a comment, put MACAT Rules! (cause it does and you know it!)
Having said that, I did read the entire essay, and I do agree wholeheartedly with the conclusions about the sort of society modern Western secondary schools create within them. I worry about my daughter, who is a bit like me, but at present (at age 9) she is popular and respected by her peers. If only that situation survives...
You've just solved something that I have been pondering for the last couple of years. I'm british and well ,a nerd but was actually pretty well liked at my secondary school, but I just couldn't figure out why people like me were so hated in american schools.
If its OK I'd like to suggest this to some friends of mine, they may enjoy reading this and pass it on
remember my name for it will be important some day